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West Indies v England: third ODI – live!

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3rd over: England 15-0 (Roy 7, Hales 8) When you go to the cricket, what is your pickernick basket never without? The samosa place which I used to frequent for precisely this purpose is now closed; it was a sad day. Anyway, Roy is early on a pull, which drops just short of Mohammed and short midwicket, then a bit of extra bounce sends another attempted pull into the air ... it lands safe. And Roy isn’t going to waste time introspecting - he’s right over the next delivery, pulling it hard to the fence.

2nd over: England 10-0 (Roy 7, Hales 3) Alzarri is a magnificent name; not as magnificent as Jason, obviously, but magnificent nonetheless. Hales pulls a short one, just about keeping it down, and they add one before Roy adds one more - Joseph is bowling at 84mph. Hales then square-cuts another two, and there don’t look to be any demons in the pitch.

1st over: England 6-0 (Roy 6, Hales 0) It’s a breezy day in Barbados, though it is only 9.30am. Jeff Dujon doesn’t reckon the cracks will open much, as Holder finds some bounce and carry, Roy leaving his first three balls alone. He then has a bang at a wide one, but picks out the man at backward-point, before coming forward to present the full face, sending four rushing over mid-off and to the fence. A push then nets two more, and that’s a decent, effortless start for England.

Jason Holder will open the bowling from the Big Bird end.

Humungus queues outside #KensingtonOval. Plenty going to miss the start. Laughable organisation of queues and security #WIvEngpic.twitter.com/TrjetFjZWW

Anyway, we don’t need to think about spin quite yet - we’re about to watch old Alzarri on a greeninsh, grassyish track. That is going to be fun.

James Taylor is fine young man, and looks like waxwork of James Taylor. He’s talking about England’s collapses against spin, saying that they’re improving all the time. I think that’s a tad generous.

Back to the preamble, middle initials: what are they all about? Mate, you’re still called Donald. We’ve not forgotten.

Hales has missed international cricket “a helluva lot”. He’s nervous and excited, “a good feeling to have”, and is planning to give himself a chance. So, as usual, we can expect it to be Roy pushing the pace at the start.

“What do you think of Hales’ sleeve tatt,” tweets Jonny Walsh.

I can’t get my head around how they don’t make your arm warmer or heavier.

.@AlexHales1 averaged 61.9 across his 13 ODIs in 2016; only Virat Kohli (92.4), David Warner (63.1) & Rohit Sharma (62.7) were higher. pic.twitter.com/4BesUdJeVr

Hales has been talking about playing Tests in the middle order. I’d be surprised if that ever happened, though not disappointed.

One change for England: Hales for Billings. Morgan explains that his partnership with Roy has been crucial to the team’s success. He is surprised by how much grass is on the wicket, particularly at one end, but isn’t sure what to expect from the pitch.

There’s some grass on the wicket, so something there for bowlers. Joseph is indeed in for Gabriel.

There’s a slight delay on the toss. We’ll get there.

And talking of Pakistan, as we briefly were...

Related: England ready to recall Alex Hales for the final ODI with West Indies

Get in the mood with this.

Jason Roy wants to be known for winning matches by scoring centuries. By @Cricket_Alihttps://t.co/SGDSpACBSp

Outside a radio shop in Holborn listening to the Test match at The Oval, Eng. v Aus. 5th Test, 4th day, August 1953 pic.twitter.com/VcvyM2GrZz

West Indies could really do with a win here. They’re currently just off Pakistan, sitting in ninth spot in the ODI rankings, and play them next; in all likelihood, only one of the two will qualify for the next World Cup automatically.

So, what’s what? Well, according to Cricinfo, Plunkett is warming up, so presumably he’ll be ok to play, while it looks as though Alzarri Joseph will replace Shannon Gabriel.

We live in strange times in a strange world, and as such, are processing some strange combinations of words: consider, for example, “President Donald J Trump”; “England manager Gareth Southgate”; “fashion beard”; “male grooming”.

But none are quite so strange as “England are a fine one-day cricket team”. And yet they are! Their batting is strong enough and deep enough such that skittling them is virtually impossible; they field like they’ve swapped hemispheres; are captained with enterprise; and sometimes bowl well. Most recently, they got themselves into trouble chasing a moderate total, before composing themselves to chase it down with calm authority. I know!

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