A brilliant five-for from Tom Curran gave England another win; they take the series 4-1, handing Australia their joint-heaviest defeat on home soil
So there we go; that’s another series done, with just the T20 left. We’ll be back for that, so join us then. Otherwise, thanks for your company and comments; enjoy the rest of your weekends. Read Vithushan Ehantharajah’s report here:
Related: Tom Curran stars as England beat Australia to seal 4-1 ODI series victory
It’s still very odd to contemplate the reality that England are good at one-day cricket, but good at one-day cricket England are. They’ve been far too good for Australia over the last few weeks, and as well as their first XI, their strength in depth is serious too.
I said at half-time that this was a test for England, to see if their bowlers could defend a total that wasn’t quite there in the same way their batters can attack a total that’s more than there. And they rose to the challenge; their second-string pace attack rose to the challenge, as did their spinners and captain, who deployed his resources with typical expertise. This win, coming off a loss and coming from behind, will please him more than the other three, I’d venture.
What a pleasure it is to see a young talent impose himself, to see him broadcast his attitude with freedom and joy. I like Tom Curran.
48.2 WICKET! Paine b Curran 34 (Australia all out 247) Curran has fifer, another beauty, full of length, zooming in, and far too good for Paine. He has phenomenal confidence, as you’d need with that Shelby barnet, and he’s backed it up with a terrific performance!
48.1 Curran has some useful forearms, and a yorker yields a dot. Very nicely done, 13 from 11 required.
Let’s go ball-by ball, yeah.
48th over: Australia 247-9 ( Paine 34, Hazlewood 0) Target 260 Paine is going to have to go here, because he’s on strike, Curran is in the field, and Ball has the ball. But two dots open the over ... but then Paine makes room backing away and applies a perfect bottom-edge for four! And have a look! HE’S ONLY GONE AND TIMED A SIX OVER HIS SHOULDER! What a shot that is, a late move inside to flip a maximum! Should England have given Root a go? Kept Ball for the end, if they needed him? Paine then grabs a single, and Australia are back in charge! Australia require 13 runs from 12 balls.
47th over: Australia 236-9 ( Paine 23, Hazlewood 0) Target 260 Tell you what, Curran gets full value for his wickets, he’s got celebrations for weeks. His first delivery, from around, is too good for Hazlewood, who fences and misses, and the next two are dots. Australia require 24 runs from 18 balls.
Curran loves pressure! In he charges and Zampa goes for something expansive but the only thing expanding are his stumps, middle bashed back and England are nearly there while Curran has four!
47th over: Australia 236-8 ( Paine 23, Zampa 11) Target 260 Back comes Curran, who will have to win this for England. He’s absolutely flying in, but Paine back-cuts his second delivery for one... Australia require 24 runs from 21 balls.
46th over: Australia 235-8 ( Paine 22, Zampa 11) Target 260 Well, Jake Ball. He’s back, he’s got the sphere, and Zampa takes a single with a baseball swing that loops up, but safe. Paine, though, knows what he’s doing and creams the next delivery for four to square leg, then backs it up with a single. This is breathless stuff! Australia require 25 runs from 24 balls.
45th over: Australia 228-8 ( Paine 16, Zampa 10) Target 260 One from the over makes for a very decent effort from David Willey. Australia require 32 runs from 30 balls.
The ball pitched outside leg, and Zampa is retrieved!
They go upstairs!
45th over: Australia 228-8 ( Paine 16, Zampa 10) Target 260 Joe Root is freeing his arms, grimacing after being nailed in the body when batting. Meantime Willey, back over the wicket, opens with three dots before Paine takes a single.
Off goes Ball. Hopefully he’s ok, but suddenly England have some overs to make up; do they try and slide them in now, or try and finish the match now?
It’s not quite clear whether Ball is injured or ill, but given how long this is taking to sort, my guess is the latter. There’s a meeting going on and I think he’s given a tablet of some sort.
We’ve a break in play - Ball’s ankle buckled and he’s down, looking fair crook.
44th over: Australia 227-8 ( Paine 15, Zampa 10) Target 260 Ball returns, and looks to have hurt hisself as Zampa takes his second delivery for one to midwicket. Paine then eases backward of square on the off side and Ball grimaces some more. AND SOME MORE! Zampa cuts and Moeen runs past it, diddled by the spin on second bounce; gulled by his own bowling, he played for the one that went straight on. That’s the first boundary in time, two singles follow, and I think Australia are back favourites. What a game this is to break in the new ground!
43rd over: Australia 219-8 ( Paine 13, Zampa 4) Target 260 Morgan decides to keep Curran for the death instead of seeking to hasten the death, bringing back Willey. Paine guides two to point, where of course Hales is to collect as the crowd whoop. Another single to Zampa makes it four from the over, and the rate is now at 5.85; Australia won’t mind that, because they’ll back themselves to make up the shortfall with a boundary of three somewhere along the line.
42nd over: Australia 215-8 ( Paine 10, Zampa 3) Target 260 The attendance is 53,81; that’s not bad at all. Paine turns the ball into the leg side but sends Zampa back, then cuts two and nurdles one. And oh dear! Zampa goes over the top and picks out Hales, who moves in and drops exactly what he’s there to pouch! That is very naughty indeed and he thoroughly deserves the ball finding him next ball and the generous sympathies of the crowd which accompany it.
41st over: Australia 210-8 ( Paine 6, Zampa 2) Target 260 Curran races in and strikes Paine’s pad, racing off Stuart Broad-style. Not out says the umpire; no review says the captain. Paine then nudges a single, and when two dots follow suddenly the run rate is getting on top. Zampa turns a single to square leg, Paine adds one more to mid off, and this is boiling.
40th over: Australia 207-8 ( Paine 4, Zampa 1) Target 260 Zampa gets a single, then Paine flips over his shoulder for two and bunts one to keep strike.
“Nice to see the hand of Morgan being recognised,” tweets William Hargreaves. “Captaincy ain’t just a twelfth player, it can go all the way up to fifteenth.”
I think ... I think ... I think England are going to win! Moeen pushes Tye back with a dart, he plays for the spin which doesn’t come, and a leading edge rears up to cover!
39th over: Australia 202-7 ( Paine 1, Tye 8) Target 260 Curran has four overs to go, and opens his latest one with a slower ball; he’s got all the tricks for this version. Tye is looking for big hits, which can only work for so long because Curran is swinging it and he’s going every time. And he catches one, hoicking a slower ball towards wide long-on; Bairstow is after it, but doesn’t pick it up so runs around it, and the lost time is crucial. He dives forward but is a split-second too late and they run two. Curran then responds with a jaffa, only for tow leg-byes to complete things.
38th over: Australia 198-7 ( Paine 1, Tye 6) Target 260 There’s not much batting after these two; can England break them up? Moeen returns, and his over yields just one, to Tye. Up creeps the required rate, to 5.16.
37th over: Australia 197-7 ( Paine 1, Tye 5) Target 260 The man of the previous moment, AJ Tye, swings hard and inside-edges four through cover! A single follows, and this is going to be some finish! What an over!
There’s our reverses-wing! Another jaffa from Currany, whizzing across Starc, kissing his edge, and winding up in the hands of Buttler who dives well to grab. “Quack” says Daddles.
37th over: Australia 192-6 (Paine 1, Starc 0) Target 260 In comms, Michael Clarke is praising Curran, but also Morgan’s commentary; he brought him back, and also brought up the field, prompting Maxwell to try over the top.
Now we have waselves a ball game! This is a jazzer of a delivery, reverse-swinging in, pitching middle and off, hitting in front of leg, and Australia are in a bind!
37th over: Australia 192-5 (Maxwell 34, Paine 1) Target 260 Cuzza returns to sling down a wide but his second ball is much better, ramming Maxwell on the pad. They appeal! Not out! They go upstairs!
36th over: Australia 191-5 (Maxwell 34, Paine 1) Target 260 Paine forces a single down the ground to open his account and Maxwell then toes a ramp, words which mean nothing but in a cricketing context; I love this game. Two from the over, and that’s Rashid done with 1-55 off his ten.
35th over: Australia 189-5 (Maxwell 33, Paine 0) Target 260 England need one more: can David Willey supply it? Not yet, but he sends down what I think is the first maiden of the innings. The required run rate is only 4.73, so it’s not really increasing the pressure, but it’s something.
34th over: Australia 189-5 (Maxwell 33, Paine 0) Target 260 The wicket came with the final delivery of the over.
Stoinis comes down and gives a full toss what for, swatting over the top. But the bat spins in his hand and Curran moves forward and around to catch low. That’s a really excellent grab, and he celebrates well with some shoulder-wiggling; it’s also the end of a really excellent innings from Stoinis, who will now spend the rest of the day wrestling crocodiles.
34th over: Australia 189-4 (Stoinis 87, Maxwell 33) Target 260 Rashid continues after drinks, and after Stoinis takes a single, Maxwell reverse-chips over point for four. He is so good.
33rd over: Australia 183-4 (Stoinis 86, Maxwell 28) Target 260 England are paying the price for having no pace; all the clever changes and placings in the world can’t compensate for that. Willey bowls a tight enough over, but five still come from it, the final single bringing up an easy fifty partnership.
“Was it a brace as in teeth-correction or as in brace-and-bit? I know nobody uses the latter any more, but it just could be if it happened in your childhood.”
32nd over: Australia 178-4 (Stoinis 82, Maxwell 27) Target 260 Eoin Morgan isn’t letting things slide, reintroducing Rashid, so Stonis dinks him over long off and just over Willey on the rope, for six! One more follows, and Australia are cruising ... but only for as long as these two stay together, lovin’ you whether, whether, times are good or bad, happy or sad.
31st over: Australia 171-4 (Stoinis 75, Maxwell 27) Target 260 Willey, unsold in the IPL auction, returns to the attack and goes around to Maxwell who guides him around the corner for one. Unsurprisingly given the angle, a wide follows, and Stonis recognises the 4.6 run rate so patiently negotiates the remainder of the over, doing really well to jab out a yorker before guiding a single to third man.
30th over: Australia 168-4 (Stoinis 74, Maxwell 26) Target 260 These two look in perfect control, milking Moeen for singles until Maxwell cuts a brace. This is, I imagine, better than being cut by a brace, a feature of my teenage years and even my dreams now. Sorry, I think I’m oversharing.
29th over: Australia 161-4 (Stoinis 72, Maxwell 21) Target 260 England are back to urgently needing a wicket as Ball barrels in, and Maxwell sees his third delivery coming, rocking back to ramp over Buttler for four. That was pretty nice you know, better than grilled cheese on the rad-y-ator, and three singles follow.
That incredible catch from Moeen Ali brings Maxwell to the crease.
Watch LIVE: https://t.co/tc335nN8gH#AUSvENGpic.twitter.com/l9Qtem5eoG
28th over: Australia 154-4 (Stoinis 71, Maxwell 15) Target 260 Stoinis dabs a single, then Maxwell takes two behind square on the leg side. So he looks to tempt Maxwell with some air and Maxwell is duly tempted, into slamming him into the stands. Meanwhile, in commentary they talk about AJ Tye, which reminds me of one of my favourite things of the last bit. Feel free to educate us with yours!
27th over: Australia 144-4 (Stoinis 70, Maxwell 6) Target 260 Maxwell drives Ball to cover and looking to prevent a second run that he’s never preventing, Moeen runs in and looks to pick up one-handed, on the move. He misses and concedes four, which is obviously pretty hilarious; two balls later Maxwell finds him again and this time he copes, sending in a return as the batsmen run one.
26th over: Australia 138-4 (Stoinis 69, Maxwell 1) Target 260 Maxwell, who has very well developed forearms, hits hard to cover and gets off the mark, then Stoinis reverse-sweeps for two more.
25th over: Australia 135-4 (Stoinis 67, Maxwell 0) Target 260 Ball returns and has Stoinis on strike. If England can lozz him, it’ll take a big effort from Australia, and so far this has been a real team effort from the tourists. Four dots, then Stoinis gets under one but it goes safe and they run two
“I just heard Michael Clarke opine on TV that ‘teams aren’t picked on personality’, emails Newcastle Person, “and nearly choked in my cup of tea ... Simon Katich anyone?”
24th over: Australia 133-4 (Stoinis 65, Maxwell 0) Target 260 Out comes yerman, who knocks his first ball up and down into the off side. If England get one more wicket, they’ll be favourites.
He puts up his thumb and pulls out a plum and says what a good boy am I! Marsh, who’s in the mood, absolutely massacres one back at Moeen, who leans back, chucks up a hand, and SOMEHOW CATCHES THE BALL BETWEEN THEM AND FOREFINGER AS THE UMPIRE DIVES FOR COVER! HEE HEE HEE LOOK AT HIM IN HIS RED SHIRT! ENGLAND ARE IN THE GAME!
24th over: Australia 133-3 (Stoinis 65, Marsh 13) Target 260 Moeen gives one some air and Marsh flings arms at it, edging hard through gully.
23rd over: Australia 127-3 (Stoinis 65, Marsh 7) Target 260 Marsh doesn’t wait to be asked, punishing Rashid’s second ball back dahn the grahnd for four. Sorry, blame Ray Winston, who wants you to give away your money carefully. Marsh adds two more singles, and Stonis helps himself to one.
22nd over: Australia 120-3 (Stoinis 64, Marsh 1) Target 260 There’s a big row as Mitchell Marsh comes out and I remember that in my discussion with myself about which of England’s one-dayers might move into the Test side, I neglected to mention Buttler who is far too much of a genius never to be given another go. Except it seems to be near enough impossible to get dropped from that; England’s problem was that they convinced themselves it was close and they just lost the big moments, when in fact they only avoided a 5-0 because they were playing a less good side than in previous humiliations. And anyway, what message were the selectors trying to send? That 4-0 is ok?
Hello! Hello! Stephen Smith fails again! He expected some turn and came forward, the ball went straight on, and in a trice did the bails come off.
21st over: Australia 117-2 (Stoinis 63, Smith 11) Target 260 Here we go. Rashid gives Stoinis some width, so he cuts it hard to the fence, then seizes upon a short wrongun, zetzing it into the stands. He is seeing it.
20th over: Australia 106-2 (Stoinis 53, Smith 10) Target 260 A quietly effective over for Australia as Moeen returns, four singles from it.
19th over: Australia 102-2 (Stoinis 51, Smith 8) Target 260 Smith and Maxwell have had a little sit down and resolved their personal issue, we’re told, though we’re also told that it shouldn’t matter if Maxwell is deemed good enough. Smith then takes a single and Stoinis does too, which raises his fifty, and fine one it’s been too. One more to Smith follows, and England need another wicket.
18th over: Australia 98-2 (Stoinis 49, Smith 6) Target 260 Rashid looks to have Smith, so perhaps he’ll try to get something going against Ball. After Stoinis, who’s now becalmed, forces a single, Smith paddles one of his own before a high wide arrives.
17th over: Australia 95-2 (Stoinis 48, Smith 5) Target 260 A drinks break, and then Smith whips Rashid away for three as a streaker christens the new ground; what a tale to enshrine in his family history! What poise, what élan! I’m choking up here! We get to see a bit of him as Michael Slater, to his credit, commentates like it’s part of the game, then we’re not allowed as though a naked body is more offensive than Graeme Swann’s fringe. I don’t know.
16th over: Australia 89-2 (Stoinis 46, Smith 1) Target 260 England need to rustle through some quick overs here while Australia recalibrate, trying to impose even a modicum of scoreboard pressure. Head takes a single, then Smith does to get off the mark; it’s taken him seven balls.
15th over: Australia 87-2 (Stoinis 45, Smith 0) Target 260 So will England make any special provisions for Smith? Rashid continues but the field is up; Morgan will know that they can’t get him early, they lose. AND WHAT’S THIS! First ball Rashid flights one down, nicely done, and Smith takes a big stride, misses, and Buttler whips off the bails! England think it’s out, the unshakeable confidence of desperation, and off upstairs they toddle ... but from every angle we can see foot down and behind line. Damn you optical illusions; the third umpire falls for it.
My days, England needed that. Brilliant from Morgan, not so brilliant from Stoinis who sold his mate out there. N3 in the house!
14th over: Australia 86-1 (Head 22, Stoinis 44) Target 260 Marcus Stoinis is a muscular and dextrous lover. Ball serves him a short, wide one so he shakes out his arms and helps it over third man for six. Three dots follow, then the batsmen steal a single, Stoinis dropping to mid off and running, Morgan colletcs, shies, hits, they turn and take another, BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT...
13th over: Australia 80-1 (Head 22, Stoinis 38) Target 260 This is a tighter over from Rashid, two singles from it, but England need wickets.
“WICKET” begins Andrew Benton. “Go on, Daniel. Start a paragraph headline with WICKET!!! would you please? We can refresh our pages if you decide it was premature.”
12th over: Australia 78-1 (Head 21, Stoinis 37) Target 260 Who in England’s one-day side should be given a shy in the longer format? You can make a case for Roy and Hales in the middle order; Rashid is better than Moeen, all the more so if Moeen isn’t scoring runs; and I don’t really know why Ball and Curran were deemed better options than Plunkett, who looked a Test player before he got injured. Anyway, Ball replaces Cuzza – I’m assuming that’s his nickname but the reality is that it’s more likely to be Currany – and Stoinis takes him for a single. Buttler then does well to parry a bottom edge, and Head opens the face to guide four through third man; that’s the fifty partnership, raised in short order. Australia are rolling, in their five point o, with their rag top down so their hair can blow.
11th over: Australia 72-1 (Head 16, Stoinis 36) Target 260 I wonder what it is Joe Root doesn’t like about Adil Rashid, who is a far better spinner than Moeen and might have offered an alternative during the Test series. Anyway, he’s into the attack and Stoinis puts a big foot down and slices hard through deep point fo fo. The batsmen then exchange singles, before Stoinis muscles three through that same cover point. Digested read: England are in the brown stuff.
10th over: Australia 63-1 (Head 15, Stoinis 28) Target 260 Curran is going full and mid on and mid off are up, Morgan offering Stoinis out; will he take on the challenge and go over the top? He really doesn’t need to, because Australia have plenty of time, and he has plenty of time to nurdle a nice match-definer which keeps him up the order.
9th over: Australia 59-1 (Head 12, Stoinis 27) Target 260 Moeen into the attack and immediately Stoinis runs him down for two, then properly sees one so carts it to the square-leg fence. Moeen responds well with two dots, so Stoinis quicksteps down and tickles him two-thirds of the way into the second tier, a full 119 metres! What a shot that is! Through the process, he doesn’t even stop chewing his gum!
8th over: Australia 47-1 (Head 12, Stoinis 15) Target 260 A slower ball from Curran is picked up fast by Stoinis who holds his back before dismissing it from his countenance with four down the ground. A single follows, Curran just missing with a thrown, and England are getting to the really need a wicket stage.
“It’s generally accepted that the white ball doesn’t swing as much as a red one,” emails John Starbuck, “but it may also be that it’s a Kookaburra, which says it all. England bowlers perform best in English conditions, which is why we may see changes in New Zealand, with a similar climate. Do we know what ball they will use there?”
7th over: Australia 41-1 (Head 11, Stoinis 10) Target 260 Two decent stops in the field, one at backward point and and one at cover, turn fours into a two and a dot. A single then brings Stoinis on strike, and he nudges two off his legs then stoinises the final delivery of the over down the ground for four.
6th over: Australia 32-1 (Head 8, Stoinis 4) Target 260 Talking of swing, what’s happened to England’s mastery of reverse? It’s been so crucial to their key wins, but we saw almost none in the Test series. Is it that their bowlers aren’t quick enough? Anyhow, Curran floats down a half-volley onto Stoinis’s pads, and off it goes to the fence, the only runs off the over. He looks very nicely balanced.
5th over: Australia 28-1 (Head 8, Stoinis 0) Target 260 Willey, who looks more like Nacho Monreal than I’d previously grasped, finds a better off stump line in this over. The problem is that the ball appears to have stopped swinging, so he’ll take the two twos which Head scores.
YOU BEAUTY!!
Tom Curran gets rid of David Warner with a peach of a yorker.
Superb comeback after a dropped catch #AUSvENGpic.twitter.com/ShfuxYOZzd
4th over: Australia 24-0 (Head 4, Stoinis 0) Target 260 Warner has scored just 73 runs in five innings this series, and that’s a big reason England stormed to victory in the manner that they did. Curran follows up his wicket with four dots, to Stoinis who’s up the order.
Well he can go and get it now! Curran hurls down an inswinging yorker that’s far too good for Warner! What a response that is, and out comes the aeroplane! Catch that!
4th over: Australia 24-0 (Warner 15, Head 4) Target 260 Colonel Mustard has a train to catch, and he helps Curran around to leg and off to the fence.
3rd over: Australia 20-0 (Warner 11, Head 4) Target 260 Willey gives Warner a bit of medium-paced width, and that he is absolutely not having, caning it over the top for a one-bounce four
2nd over: Australia 15-0 (Warner 6, Head 4) Target 260 I wonder about Tom Curran, who looks to have plenty of moxie but perhaps not enough pace and nous ... yet. Warner turns his loosener off the pads for two, then thunks a drive past point for three, and four leg-byes follow when the swing is too much. Oh. But this is better ... well it’s not better, it’s miles wide, and Head slashes at it, straight to Bairstow at one. It’s true that Buttler moves across towards it then doesn’t go, and it’s true that Bairsterr doesn’t field there often, but even so, it’s not easy to excuse him putting that down. But that’s what he does. I’ve seen better overs.
1st over: Australia 6-0 (Warner 1, Head 4) Target 260 Swing first up for Willey ... swing which takes the ball wide. There’s no much going on in the way of pace, so he’ll need to keep Warner tucked up to avoid being clobbered. Warner then dabs him into the offside and they trot a single which brings Head on strike; a outswinger greets him, and then a wide half-volley which he rams to the fence with minimum effort and maximum prejudice. Good start for Australia.
Willey has the cherry...
Right then, the boyz are on the baize...
“It’s sensational,” says Andrew Tye of himself. He’s from Perth and loves the new ground, and generally life and everything about it. He reckons he’s got 17 different deliveries, and tells Tubby Taylor that he’s spent a lot of summers sat in front of the cricket with a ball in his hands.
Er, I’m not entirely certain what to say or think about this. But it does remind me that the Ask Jimmy bit on TMS at half-time in Friday’s ODI was excellent on the topic of his white line fever which comes roughly halfway through.
So I’m just going to leave this here. @henrymoeranBBC#LIPSYNCpic.twitter.com/YLCBTXwUUC
How many terrible headlines can we right. Hopefully he’ll hit the runs which level the scores off the last ball, and we can go with DREW TYE.
What a day for Andrew Tye! Picks up his maiden ODI five-wicket haul and is then bought by Kings XI Punjab for AUD1.4 million! #IPLAuction#AUSvENGpic.twitter.com/uJvpPQhedl
A popular web streaming service is silent on the matter of Another Day, would you believe, so have this instead.
Good morning, good afternoon, good night, as Talib Kweli once said. Over the next four hours or so, we’ll see if England have the get out of jail bowling to go with their get out of jail batting; they need to make their runs last, because they sure as you like don’t have enough of them.
The headline writes itself: England Tyed up in knots. They started menacingly, with Jason Roy relishing the short straight boundaries at this new ground. After nine overs, they were 65-0, but Australia came back into the game through dynamic captaincy from Steve Smith, thrifty bowling from Mitch Marsh, and then a succession of superb slower balls from AJ Tye. He and Marsh took 7-70 between them, while the big guns, Starc and Hazlewood, managed only 1-114. England’s top four all got going, then got out, with only Root, the least explosive of them, sticking around, and the lower middle order had little to add. Still, it’s a measure of England’s drastic improvement in the past two years that 250 feels like a flop. And they did hit six sixes. Will Davey Warner better that by himself, I wonder.
“Why,” asks Zaph Mann, “did they drop Woakes?” They may well be asking themselves that question. It’s a case of resting, not dropping, as far as we know, but it’s a gamble that hasn’t paid off – yet. If Willey can bowl as well as Tye, all will be forgiven. And Willey, like Tye, knows this surface, which has pace and carry even if the bounce is a little uneven. Daniel Harris will guide you through the second half of the day. Thanks for your company.
No, they can’t. Tye’s slower ball, a yorker this time, is far too good for Jake Ball, who hasn’t batted since about 2014. England’s innings has just dribbled away.
Fed up with playing the anchor, Root goes for broke with a one-handed slog, but it’s Tye’s slower ball, yet again, and the consequence is a good catch by Warner. Can England go the distance?
47th over: England 258-8 (Root 62, Curran 10) Tom Curran is a character. After missing a couple of big heaves, some No.9s would go into their shell. Curran jumps outside off, waits for Starc’s attempted yorker, gets a full toss and helps it over the keeper for six.
An OBO wouldn’t be an OBO without an email from John Starbuck. “Moeen’s sad decline has been one of the stories of this tour, but there were so many others too,” he says. “I reckon England and Australia should go round the world with this contest, in a version of the Never-Ending Battle of myth, but will have to take it in turns to play the Harlem Globetrotters role.” Nice.
46th over: England 248-8 (Root 61, Curran 0) So that’s another wicket for Tye, who took three on Australia Day and has three more here. England badly need Root to go bananas.
“Morning Tim.” Morning, Harry Lang. “These early starts/ all nighters catching up with the weary English fans it seems... Do we put that last game down as an anomaly or were more troubling frailties exposed?” A bit of both, I’d say: 8-5 is a freak, and they recovered well and nearly won. But every team has its DNA, and even this brave new England have, written on their cells, a tendency to collapse.
The procession continues as Willey goes for a big mow and offers only a meek catch.
44th over: England 239-7 (Root 56, Willey 0) Another handy over from Tye, who has 2-39 off eight. He and the incoming batsman, Willey, are the only players involved today who have played on this ground before.
A tiny hesitation from Rashid as he pushes Tye into the covers, and Smith pulls off a direct hit. He’s been so up for it today.
43rd over: England 234-6 (Root 54, Rashid 9) Root upper-cuts Halewood, almost gets caught at third man, but the ball squirts away for four, and that’s the first international fifty at this ground. He’s had an excellent series in a quiet way: still no hundred, but only twice out for 218. Those IPL teams may be missing a trick, though England, and Root’s young family, won’t be sorry if he gets a decent rest.
Andrew Benton is back on email. “It’s really sad about Moeen – I’m a huge fan, and I hope he can get his Mojo back this coming UK summer. Or maybe that should be his MoAl.”
42nd over: England 226-6 (Root 48, Rashid 7) Zampa concedes only three and finishes with 10-1-46-1. Kevin Pietersen reckons this is the best he’s bowled in the series, because he’s been getting drift. I’m not sure England have put him under much pressure.
On Twitter, Phil Withall is throwing up his arms in frustration. “I suspect Ali might have given up on this tour now. Very poor decision making.”
41st over: England 223-6 (Root 47, Rashid 5) Rashid does his best to impersonate Woakes, getting off the mark with a crisp upper-cut for four off Starc. Seven off the over, but England need 12 or 15.
40th over: England 216-6 (Root 46, Rashid 0) So it’s goodnight from Moeen, who seems to be reverting to his Ashes persona, a shadow of his summer-2017 self. England could send in Willey to have a bash, but instead they opt for Rashid’s more sober presence: a triumph of experience over hope.
Oh dear. Moeen’s dopeyness continues with a half-hearted slog, straight to long-off. Where’s Woakes when England need him?
39th over: England 210-5 (Root 42, Moeen 5) Moeen lives dangerously against Starc. He seems to nick a ball heading down leg, which is given as a wide, with no appeal, let alone a review. And then he dawdles over a single and would be out if Smith’s swoop ended in a direct hit. If this was the Under-10s, a grumpy coach would be muttering “wake up”.
38th over: England 205-5 (Root 39, Moeen 3) Zampa keeps it tight enough, conceding five.
“I’ll have a bacon sandwich and a cuppa please,” says Joanne Vickers on Twitter. Don’t torture me: the bacon sarnie is what I was hoping my son would bring back from McDonalds. You just can’t get the staff.
37th over: England 200-5 (Root 35, Moeen 2) The 200 comes up, but it’s not much to shout about. Root almost perishes with a wafty hook at Tye’s bouncer. England need composure from him and a breezy cameo from Moeen.
36th over: England 194-5 (Root 31, Moeen 1) Buttler hit a glorious six off the first ball of Tye’s over, but when he tried a reprise, he hit the wrong note. Off the last 14 overs, England have scored 62-3: too old-school to be cool.
Tye’s slower ball does the trick again, as Buttler tries to clonk him for six and only succeeds in giving catching practice. England are throwing this away.
34th over: England 183-4 (Root 29, Buttler 13) Now Smith sends for Zampa, which isn’t such a good move. He continues to look listless, and every ball goes for a run or two.
33rd over: England 177-4 (Root 25, Buttler 11) Tye returns, and hits Root in the ribs with a slower bouncer, as Smith maintains his bid for the world record for most bowling changes in a single Sunday morning.
The legendary Gary Naylor is on Twitter, picking up on my remark about Smith being like a madman in a cathedral. “Like this?” he says, and adds a link, which I hope will work: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NguSHnOWik&feature=youtu.be&t=28s
32nd over: England 172-4 (Root 24, Buttler 9) Just when it feels as if England will never find the rope again, Hazlewood tries a bouncer and Buttler pulls him for four, imperiously.
“Help us Obi-wan,” says Andrew Benton on Twitter. “You’re our only hope.” Forgive my ignorance, but is that Buttler or Root?
31st over: England 166-4 (Root 23, Buttler 4) Marsh has conceded only three boundaries, and 12 other runs, in seven overs. The crocked Cummins could hardly have done better.
30th over: England 162-4 (Root 21, Buttler 3) Yet another tight over from Hazlewood. The middle of this innings has been a throwback to England in the 1970s, 80s and 90s.
29th over: England 159-4 (Root 20, Buttler 1) Marsh has 2-21 off six overs, sensational stuff. England have thrown away that strong start, and with no Woakes to come they badly need one of Buttler’s rapid 70s.
Morgan gives Marsh the charge and picks the wrong ball because it’s short. He does well to make contact with an airy swat, and it’s well held just off the turf. Mitch Marsh is heading for Man of the Match.
28th over: England 155-3 (Root 18, Morgan 2) Smith is ringing the changes like a madman in a cathedral, but it’s working. Hazlewood, replacing Zampa, ties down Morgan, often a slow starter, and only 16 have come off the last five overs. The force is with the Aussies.
27th over: England 152-3 (Root 17, Morgan 1) So Marsh, who restored order early on, gets a big wicket too, and he now has excellent figures, 5-0-17-1. Out comes Eoin Morgan, which means that England have two captains at the crease. They could do with a captain’s innings.
Hales again botches a pull, top-edging the ball onto his helmet and offering a simple chance to Maxwell at short cover. And England lose another batsman who was well set.
26th over: England 151-2 (Hales 35, Root 17) Four singles off Zampa, who has done OK here, whatever Healy says.
25th over: England 147-2 (Hales 33, Root 15) Hales gets a stroke of luck as he pulls a short one from Marsh and it flies over the keeper’s head for four. That’s the halfway stage, with England going nicely but not running away with it. Steve Smith has been so busy in the field, you suspect he’s going to be back to form with the bat.
24th over: England 142-2 (Hales 29, Root 14) Yet another bowling change as Zampa replaces Starc. He keeps things quiet, but Ian Healy, who knows a bit about leg spin, isn’t happy with his energy.
23rd over: England 139-2 (Hales 28, Root 12) Mitch Marsh returns, to be greeted by a leg glance from Root, which goes for four because Hazlewood fields the way fast bowlers used to. The outfield is rock-hard, so you can’t blame him for not hurling himself onto it.
22nd over: England 134-2 (Hales 28, Root 7) Root clips Starc for a classy three. If he’s bothered about being a wallflower in India, it’s not showing in his strokeplay.
21st over: England 127-2 (Hales 25, Root 3) Hales dances down the track to Maxwell and lofts him for a straight six. “Just really a flick of the wrists,” says Mark Taylor, with the air of a man who certainly didn’t do that sort of thing himself.
20th over: England 118-2 (Hales 18, Root 1) Root plays and misses at his first ball, inelegantly by his standards, before pushing a wideish one into the covers for a single. Good over from Starc.
The bowling change pays off as Bairstow, trying to glide Starc for a single to third man, chops onto his stumps. Another good innings, but again not a big one. The Aussies are right back in this. Here comes Joe Root, or as he seems to be in the IPL, Billy No Mates.
19th over: England 117-1 (Hales 18, Bairstow 44) Hales is warming to the task now. He rocks back to cut Maxwell for a well-run two, then sees a short one so well that he cuts over mid-off for four.
18th over: England 111-1 (Hales 12, Bairstow 44) Smith, who is making plenty of changes, takes Tye off after a fine spell of 4-0-15-1, and brings back Starc. He starts with a string of dots but then drops short, so Bairstow pops him over third man for another six. If you’re going to flash, flash hard.
17th over: England 105-1 (Hales 12, Bairstow 38) Glenn Maxwell comes on with his off-breaks, and Jonny Bairstow deposits him over the boards at long-off for six. That’s a handsome way to bring up England’s hundred.
16th over: England 97-1 (Hales 11, Bairstow 31) Tye continues and Bairstow plays his shot of the day, a classic off drive, eased through a small gap. “Lovely cricket shot,” says Kevin Pietersen. And that’s drinks, with England on top, as far as you can tell on a new ground, but Australia back in it.
Andrew Benton is back. “Don’t leave us in suspense, Tim. Did you get a MacDonalds?” Kind of you to ask. I did not: my son didn’t get the email in time. Anyone got a Four’n’Twenty pie?
15th over: England 92-1 (Hales 10, Bairstow 27) Zampa goes for some more ones and twos before Bairstow sweeps for four. That puts the rate back up above a run a ball.
14th over: England 82-1 (Hales 7, Bairstow 20) Tye finally concedes a four as Hales punches down the ground. The straight boundary is only 63 metres, as against 80 square: shades of the Waca.
13th over: England 76-1 (Hales 2, Bairstow 19) Zampa keeps up the pressure with a tidy over.
12th over: England 73-1 (Hales 1, Bairstow 17) Hales replaces Roy, like for like, and gets off the mark with a push to third man. Off the last five overs, England have only managed 19-1, and, as so often, the squeeze brought a wicket.
Got him! Tye’s knuckle ball deceives Roy, whose attempted punch turns into an airy chip, well held by Hazlewood running back from mid-on. A good knock, but not a long one: game on.
10th over: England 66-0 (Roy 47, Bairstow 13) Andrew Tye replaces Hazlewood and instantly beats Roy’s outside edge, or even takes it – Tim Paine wants a review, but Smith is harder to convince than some captains. A fine start by Tye, who concedes only one, so the Aussies have stopped Roy in his tracks.
9th over: England 64-0 (Roy 46, Bairstow 13) Marsh concedes his first boundary as Roy punches down the ground, but still manages a few dots. The new Optus Stadium is now just about full. As it’s nearly three times the size of the Waca, this must be the biggest crowd ever for international cricket in Western Australia.
8th over: England 60-0 (Roy 41, Bairstow 13) Hazlewood takes his cue from Marsh, mixing dots with singles, before Bairstow plays a dreamy straight drive for two.
7th over: England 55-0 (Roy 39, Bairstow 10) Steve Smith needs to do something, so he takes off one Mitchell (Starc) and brings on another (Marsh). It does the trick, as Marsh finds a good length and a tight line, becomes the first man to tie Roy down, and even has a good shout for lbw as Bairstow is pinned in front of the leg bail. Well bowled.
6th over: England 54-0 (Roy 38, Bairstow 10) This time it’s Roy who takes the early single and Bairstow who cashes in, with a classy tuck and a streaky inside edge. The outfield is fast, but England are making full use of it.
And the second email of the morning is from Daniel de Lisle. “Hi Dad.” Er, hi darling. “Would you like anything from McDonalds on the way back? Should be home in about half an hour.” This is the life of the OBOer: I’ve started work, and my son’s not yet back from his night out.
5th over: England 44-0 (Roy 37, Bairstow 2) Groundhog over: another single for Bairstow, again to third man, and two more fours for Roy, driven through mid-off and flicked to square leg. Starc, who has bowled pretty well, has none for 26 off three overs.
“Tim.” Yes, Andrew Benton. “The once great Moeen has been everything but, down under. His finger problem has clearly precipitated a huge loss of form - but shouldn’t the coaching set up be ready and able to deal with this? Is it curtains for him now? Or does what happens in Australia stay in Australia?” Nice line, but he’s been much more himself in this series, hasn’t he? Consistently economical, and he helped steady the ship in Adelaide.
4th over: England 34-0 (Roy 28, Bairstow 1) Bairstow finally gets off the mark with a guide to third man, as if to confirm that he is playing the straight man in this double act. Roy drives through mid-off, where Warner fails to get down, and then through the covers. His 28 has come off 20 balls, Bairstow’s 1 off 5. Shiny new ground, but still a funny old game.
3rd over: England 21-0 (Roy 20, Bairstow 0) It’s all happening here at the non-Waca. Another ball jags past the bat as Starc deceives Roy, but then there’s a short one which is pulled imperiously for four, followed by a full one which Roy flat-bats for six over long-off. Next ball, he’s walking off, apparently caught behind, only to be recalled because Starc has overstepped the marc. There’s a free hit, but Roy connects with thin air.
Start has Roy caught behind, beautifully, by Paine, but it’s a no-ball.
2nd over: England 10-0 (Roy 10, Bairstow 0) Roy slashes Hazlewood’s first ball for four, not far from either of the men at cover point. He edges a single, whereupon Bairstow plays and misses again. So far, the curator will be a lot happier than the batsmen.
1st over: England 5-0 (Roy 5, Bairstow 0) Roy adds a single with a push to mid-on, but the story the scoreboard doesn’t tell is that Starc has already beaten both batsmen. Still, compared to 8 for 5, this is riches. The pitch looks mottled – you wouldn’t choose it as wallpaper – but the carry is good.
1st ball: England 4-0 (Roy 4, Bairstow 0) Mitchell Starc bowls the first ball at the new ground, a fullish inswinger, and Jason Roy clips it for an all-run four. So it’s true about the long square boundaries.
Pat Cummins, star of the show the other day, has pulled up lame, but there’s a decent understudy in a fellow called Starc. Cameron White’s painful recall seems to be over as Glenn Maxwell gets the call. England leave out their man of the moment, Chris Woakes, and their fastest bowler, Mark Wood – thus confirming that we’re not at the Waca now. They bring in David Willey and Jake Ball, perhaps in recognition that this is the first day game of the series and you’ve got to make an effort to amuse small children. No change to the top order which so distinguished itself in Adelaide, which means that Dawid Malan, who was exceptional in the Perth Test, will carry the drinks again.
Australia 1 David Warner, 2 Travis Head, 3 Marcus Stoinis, 4 Steve Smith (capt), 5 Mitchell Marsh, 6 Glenn Maxwell, 7 Tim Paine (wkt), 8 Mitchell Starc, 9 Andrew Tye, 10 Adam Zampa, 11 Josh Hazlewood.
Steve Smith wins the toss and opts to have a bowl, which is no surprise as there’s a green tinge to the pitch.
Before the Melbourne Test, Jason Gillespie said there was no such thing as a dead rubber in the Ashes. His point holds good for this one-day series: Australia still have some pride to salvage and England would love to finish with a resounding 4-1 victory rather than a muted 3-2. The day should really begin not with anthems but with both teams singing “ooh ooh ooh, I wanna be like you”. Eoin Morgan covets some of that Aussie ruthlessness, while Steve Smith longs for his batsmen to play with English-style freedom.
This paradox shows up in the scoreline, if you go back a few years. In this series, England are 3-1 up, but in Australia, in the 21st century, in 50-over cricket, the Aussies lead 24-8. So who, exactly, is three times as good as whom?
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