Joe Root’s determined 111 not out and a stylish 69 from Joe Denly helped England to 325-4, a lead of 448, against a weary West Indies attack in St Lucia
Joe Root speaks!
“It’s really pleasing. I’ve been working on a few things in practice, trying to line myself up a bit better. The body hasn’t quite been doing what I’ve wanted at times, which has been frustrating, but that can happen over your career and you have to evolve your game as bowlers develop their plans to you. I haven’t felt great but something really clicked today and I felt like I had a bit of rhythm. It wasn’t pretty at times – it’s that sort of wicket – but once I got in it started to feel a bit easier.”
“I believe that in the business world employees are obliged to reflect on their goals, aims and personal development envelopes,” says Ian Copestake, “and it is in this spirit that I ask you Rob if this session has met your projected expectations of fun and runs?”
Well, that’s it from me, goodnight!
That was a pretty comfortable day for England against a weakened West Indies attack. Root, though rarely fluent, scrapped hard for an impressive unbeaten 111. Joe Denly made a stylish 69 and Jos Buttler scored another half-century without going on to something grander.
The fit West Indies bowlers showed great heart, particularly Shannon Gabriel, while Kemar Roach dismissed Buttler with the ball of the day. There was another entertaining contest between Gabriel and Stokes - two fierce competitors who, no matter how hard they try, cannot hide their respect and affection for one another.
100th over: England 325-4 (Root 111, Stokes 28) Stokes plays out a maiden from Brathwaite to complete another very good day for England, who are going to make it nine wins in the last 12 Tests. Put that in your narrative!
99th over: England 325-4 (Root 111, Stokes 29) One over to go.
98th over: England 321-4 (Root 108, Stokes 28) “Hi Rob,” says Pete Salmon. “I do hope that somewhere in Slovakia there is an inter-departmental ice hockey fan sending the puck-by-puck correspondent baffling emails about a game called cricket, where a team that has already lost is winning.”
97th over: England 315-4 (Root 106, Stokes 24) Word to the wise: a new series of Masterchef has just started. There’s nothing to see here. Both teams are going through the motions until the close.
96th over: England 314-4 (Root 106, Stokes 23) Brathwaite brings himself on in an attempt to improve the over-rate. There’s one run from the over, and I’ve forgotten it already.
95th over: England 313-4 (Root 106, Stokes 22) Stokes pushes Chase down the ground for a single, one of three from the over. Blah blah etc.
“I noticed that over 89 started dot, 1, 2, 3, 4,” says Ally. “If the last ball had been a 5 with overthrows, it would have been quite interesting. Shame.”
94th over: England 310-4 (Root 105, Stokes 20) That’ll do. Root slams a full toss from Joseph through mid-off for four to reach a determined hundred. It hasn’t been a showcase of his attacking brilliance like the last one in Sri Lanka, but in some ways it is even more impressive for that. He has had to fight really hard because he hasn’t been in great nick, not just today but throughout the series. Well played. He is, despite a difficult year, still England’s best Test batsman by a mile. And he has now converted his last three Test fifties into hundreds. Yeah, I know, I know, but before that he had converted something like three out of 20.
93rd over: England 302-4 (Root 98, Stokes 19) With seven overs remaining today, Roston Chase comes back to work some over-rate magic. Root waves a single down the ground to move to 98.
“Evening Rob,” says Brian Withington. “Back in Slovakia, it appears that US Steels are holding an inter departmental Winter Olympics which includes ski racing, cross country skiing ice hockey and toboggan. Brother Dave didn’t know if they had snowboarding, which prompted me to gently enquire about competitive (iced) water boarding as a special concession to the CIA? No reply on that front, but I’ve been informed that the classy Steelworks team had gone 2-1 up against the obdurate Blast Furnace after a ‘fruitless battering at the other end’, before eventually running out 4-2 winners. Much Parka and Pivo were consumed in the reporting, and tickets for the World Cup in May appear to have been procured from a well-placed contact in US Steels HR department (not represented on the ice tonight). Over and out from our man in Kosice.”
92nd over: England 301-4 (Root 97, Stokes 19) A short ball from Gabriel takes off and clears Dowrich for four more byes; then another one keeps comically low and hits Stokes high on the bat as he tries about eight different shots at the same time. Stokes rests on his haunches and smiles wryly while Gabriel offers some hard-faced technical advice. Both players smile playfully as they exchange more words at the end of the over. Their battle throughout this series has been so much fun.
91st over: England 295-4 (Root 97, Stokes 17) Root survives an LBW appeal from Joseph, who nipped a good delivery back from outside off stump. There were two noises and it looked a bit high as well. Replays confirm a big inside-edge. Root then thumps a glorious off-drive for four,before clipping two more through midwicket. He’s three away.
“Would you prefer a career of 25 Tests containing no centuries and an average of 60,” says Elliot Carr-Barnsley, “or four centuries and an average of 28?”
90th over: England 289-4 (Root 91, Stokes 17) Stokes crunches Gabriel straight down the ground for four, another excellent stroke which should prompt somebody to mention his maiden Test hundred at Perth any second now. Gabriel responds with a short ball that keeps much lower than expected and just bounces over the off stump, and then Stokes misses an almighty yahoo at a very wide delivery. And why not?
Here’s Ian Copestake “As Joe Root has found, like many a colonial before him, you can only convert what’s in front of you.”
89th over: England 284-4 (Root 90, Stokes 13) Alzarri Joseph replaces Roach, and Root takes a single which gives him the highest score by an England batsman in this series, beating Rory Burns’ 84 in the second innings of the first Test. A flamboyant extra-cover drive from Stokes brings three more, which takes England’s lead past 400, and then Root flicks four more off the pads to complete a productive over. It’s coming home.
“Rob,” says Kim Thonger. “How do we explain to our four-year-old granddaughter that she can’t start Friday night cricket practice for another two months even though the groundsmen have already started making the square look all stripey? She makes Rachael Heyhoe-Flint seem like a disinterested dilettante. The teenage Boycott showed less determination. She’s also clocked that mimicking Keaton Jennings is not her personal path to glory.”
88th over: England 273-4 (Root 84, Stokes 8) Joe Root is no longer batting like me. He clips Gabriel through midwicket for four, a delightfully timed stroke which moves him into the eighties. The last ball of the over rams into Stokes’s box, prompting another exchange between the players. Both of them were laughing, as was Joe Root, so I assume it was phallus-related banter. Nothing vicious.
87th over: England 268-4 (Root 79, Stokes 8) Root moves to within 21 runs of his 16th Test hundred. His conversion rate hasn’t been a problem of late, though he hasn’t had much to convert. This is only his third fifty-plus score in the last 20 innings; the other two, against India at the Oval and Sri Lanka in Pallekele, were turned into centuries.
86th over: England 265-4 (Root 76, Stokes 8) Stokes is surprised by a good short ball from Gabriel, but adjusts well to pat it back down the pitch. The next ball beats the attempted cut shot. An excellent maiden from Gabriel, whose series figures of eight wickets at 33 are a minor travesty.
85th over: England 265-4 (Root 76, Stokes 8) A wide ball from Roach is cut crisply for four by Stokes, who then punches a drive through mid-off for three. As Nasser Hussain says on Sky, that off-drive is a good barometer of Stokes’s batting form. He has played it superbly in this match. Root, meanwhile, is batting like me – he pushes forward hopefully and is again beaten by a beauty from Roach.
84th over: England 258-4 (Root 76, Stokes 1) Gabriel and Stokes continue their anti-bromance with a few words, though from afar it seems slightly playful. Root then misses an attempted pull from a ball that keeps low; he looks skittish and vulnerable against this second new ball, and the over ends with a thick inside edge that falls short of the man at deepish short leg. Meanwhile, here’s an odd stat for you: Jason Holder scored more runs in one innings than anyone else on either side has throughout the series.
83rd over: England 257-4 (Root 76, Stokes 0) Thanks Simon, hello again. Kemar Roach beats Joe Root with an absurd delivery, an 85mph lifting legbreak. Root then inside-edges a booming drive past his off stump and just manages to get his bat down on a grubber, though I think it would have missed off stump. The pitch looks very different when the ball is new - and especially when it’s in the hands of Roach. He has been majestic in this series and has 18 wickets at an average of 12.
82nd over: England 255-4 (Root 74, Stokes 0) Two balls into Gabriel’s over there’s a lengthy stoppage while Stokes changes his shoes, apparently at the behest of the umpires. From a distance there’s nothing obviously wrong with his original pair, and they certainly haven’t been over-used, but they’re obviously deeply offensive if you get close to them. They call for drinks to be brought out at the same time, further extending the stoppage. The over ends with a ball that stays low and leaves both Stokes and Dowrich squirming, and with that I’m going to tag out again – Rob Smyth will take you through the remainder of the day. Emails here, if you could. Bye!
A fine delivery from Kemar Roach that would have got most top six batsmen out - off the edge. Bowled is a tailender's dismissal, the ball not lined up properly. Buttler bats like a millionaire and has one century from 31 Test as a result @Simon_Burnton
81st over: England 254-4 (Root 73, Stokes 0) At no point during that over did Buttler look happy. First he fends a ball angled into his hip into the air and down the leg side, Dowrich can’t reach it and it bounces away for four. The umpire signals four runs, but the ball might have hit a thigh pad rather than the bat. Then he half-pulls it into the air, the ball perhaps holding up off the pitch and forcing Buttler into improvising something with his shot already well on the way to completion. And then, next ball, the fifth of the over, he’s gone.
And the new ball does the trick! That’s a snorter from Roach, angled into the batsman, straightening off the seam and taking out off stump!
80th over: England 248-3 (Root 73, Buttler 50) The crowd spend most of Brathwaite’s over applauding, first for the 100 partnership and then for Buttler’s 50. England’s lead is now 371, and all is rosy. It’s basically rose-town, St Lucia. And now, a fresh cherry!
79th over: England 246-3 (Root 72, Buttler 49) Root top-edges a slog towards cow corner, and when it lands it turns sharply to the left, befuddling the sub fielder waiting for it. “As a keen very beginning student of Arabic, I’m researching/thinking/guessing zarri is a blossoming flower and Al adds a ‘the’,” writes Andrew Benton. “Maybe Ton is town and Ros perhaps rose which would make them … The Blossoming Flower and Rose Town. Very horticultural.”
78th over: England 242-3 (Root 69, Buttler 48) There’s a whisper or a run-out chance here, as Buttler works the ball to backward point and Root sets off at a sprint. Which is just as well, as any hesitation would have done for him there.
77th over: England 241-3 (Root 69, Buttler 47) We are currently in a holding pattern while we wait for the new ball to become available. Meanwhile, in fraternal news:
This is a tweet been waiting to write since the bro got the call up.. congrats on your maiden test 50 @joedenly2019@joed1986 I was hoping I was going to be tweeting the same about your maiden test ton today but that can wait for another day! looked class too #ashespic.twitter.com/9LAFe3JjAV
76th over: England 237-3 (Root 67, Buttler 45) Hold your horses, Brian Withington has another update from the US Steel inter departmental ice hockey tournament in Slovakia! “My on the spot brother informs me that in the key game of the evening, the slick sticks of Steelworks have just equalised 1-1 after a sin binning against the robust Blast Furnace team (‘things are hotting up’ says the bard of Kosice),” he writes. This makes no more sense to me than the talk of non-Newtonian liquids a little earlier.
75th over: England 234-3 (Root 64, Buttler 45) There’s no problem with over rate at the moment, as Brathwaite and Chase scream along at a fair old lick. Root dabs the ball down towards third man, but Hetmyer gets to it just before the rope.
74th over: England 229-3 (Root 60, Buttler 44) There’s a review for a stumping here after Buttler fluffs a sweep, though it’s not one that anyone gets particularly excited about. And rightly so: his foot was grounded with some time to spare.
73rd over: England 227-3 (Root 59, Buttler 43) Shouts of “catch” echo around the ground as Buttler hoiks the first ball over gully and safely back to earth.
72nd over: England 222-3 (Root 58, Buttler 39) Brathwaite bowls, and Root clobbers a sweep behind square for four.
71st over: England 218-3 (Root 54, Buttler 39) None of the popular baby-name-meaning-explanation websites can tell me anything about either Roston or Alzarri. The closest I have found is news that “Rawsthorn is derived from Old Norman names that mean red, and torn. Accordingly, the name means dweller by the thorns,” from houseofnames.com. Chase’s over is, however, anything but thorny.
70th over: England 215-3 (Root 52, Buttler 38) Root has scored at least one 50 in every Test series he has ever played, a run that would obviously have ended had he faltered today. He gets a single from Joseph’s second delivery, leaving Buttler to watchfully see off the remainder.
69th over: England 214-3 (Root 51, Buttler 38) Chase continues, Root tickles one gently and deftly down the leg side and it rolls away for four – precisely what he needed to take himself to a half-century! He has not got 50 without continuing to a century since last August, 18 innings ago (there have been two centuries since). “It seems a perfectly appropriate celebration,” says, um, someone by email about the plastic donkey. “After all, we’ve had a wooden one opening the batting for us.”
68th over: England 208-3 (Root 46, Buttler 37) A maiden from Alzarri Joseph.
67th over: England 208-3 (Root 46, Buttler 37) Roston Chase gets the final session of the day off to a gentle start. It’s his 21st over, so he’s bowled not far off a third of his team’s total in the innings. Not a bad contribution, given that he first entered the fray in over 24. He hasn’t been at all threatening, but he’s put in the proverbial shift.
Hello again! Now, a point of order to start with: it is unacceptable to celebrate the birthday of a plastic donkey. Even semi-ironically. Now, the players are on their way back out and we’ve got some cricket to watch.
The 10th Birthday of Steve being celebrated in St Lucia.
He’s a plastic donkey!
Steve has been travelling with England supporting companion Heather for a decade watching cricket around the world. #bbccricket#WIvENGpic.twitter.com/zCqzJdepe1
That’s it from me for now. Simon will be with you for the first part of the final session. You can email him here or tweet @simon_burnton. Bye!
66th over: England 207-3 (Root 45, Buttler 37) That’s the end of a very good session for England. They lost Joe Denly for a breezy 69 before Joe Root and Jos Buttler extended the lead to 330 against a weakened West Indies attack.
65th over: England 207-3 (Root 45, Buttler 37)
64th over: England 205-3 (Root 44, Buttler 36) The game is meandering towards tea, with three more no-risk runs off Brathwaite.
“Back at the Kosice Ice Hockey Arena, Produce put Pipe to the sword by 8-2 (‘a slaughter’ said our correspondent),” says Brian Withington. “Just seen video of the machine pleasingly polishing the ice - would make the classic ‘skiddy bounce’ track provided paceman could get sufficient traction in the run up. Game of the night coming up appears to be Foundry vs Steelworks, but something may have been lost in translation. Just heard that both teams are looking very slick in the warm up especially Steelworks (‘the dogs’ says my bruv), and that Foundry may actually be Blast Furnace. Makes me wonder what franchise names the ECB will come up with for The Hundred.”
63rd over: England 202-3 (Root 42, Buttler 35)
That was a strange incident. Buttler tried to sweep a filthy delivery from Chase, missed and was given out caught behind! He reviewed instantly and replays showed the ball missed the bat by a long way.
62nd over: England 201-3 (Root 41, Buttler 35) Buttler is beaten, flashing at a grubber from Brathwaite. He and Root will be furious if they get out to Brathwaite or Chase, especially so close to tea. A lot of runs are going to be scored this evening, and the laws of the game dictate that you cannot score them while sitting in the dressing-room.
61st over: England 200-3 (Root 40, Buttler 35) Chase moves around the wicket to the right-handers but it makes no difference. Root works a single to bring up the 200.
60th over: England 198-3 (Root 39, Buttler 35) It’ll be spin (sic) from both ends, with Kraigg Brathwaite replacing Joseph. Buttler has a few sighters and then whaps a single to cow corner.
59th over: England 197-3 (Root 39, Buttler 34) Chase continues and is milked for five more runs. England are playing him with total comfort.
When historians reflect on this bleak, confusing decade, two questions in particular will befuddle them:
58th over: England 192-3 (Root 38, Buttler 30) Joseph slips a hot one past Buttler’s attempted hook stroke. The next ball is also short but keeps low and jags back to hit Buttler on the gloves as he drops his hands. That was a very good over from Joseph; as Mike Atherton says on Sky, a weakened West Indies have bowled with a lot of pride and purpose today in the face of almost certain defeat.
57th over: England 191-3 (Root 38, Buttler 29) “Hi Rob,” says Gareth Fitzgerald. “Which batsman are you backing for an average-boosting ton here (a Voges, if you will)?”
Is ‘none of the above’ an option? I fancy a few entertaining innings between 40 and 70 but no hundreds.
56th over: England 186-3 (Root 38, Buttler 24) Root mistimes a pull off Joseph, with the ball dropping short of mid-on. He plays a better pull stroke for a couple of runs later in the over, but he is batting with none of the fluency of Denly or Buttler. It’s rare to see Root have to scrap for runs, because he’s hardly ever out of form, so this is good experience for him.
55th over: England 183-3 (Root 36, Buttler 24) Buttler skids back in his crease to back cut Chase for four, another classy stroke. He has sped ominously to 24 from 27 balls.
54th over: England 177-3 (Root 35, Buttler 19) Buttler swivel-pulls Joseph smoothly for four to continue a confident, assertive start to his innings. A single from Root takes England’s lead up to 300. They are going to win this game at a canter, the confounded confounders.
53rd over: England 171-3 (Root 34, Buttler 14) Nothing much is happening out there. Root and Buttler are content to milk Chase for the time being, though you’d expect some bish-bosh after tea if they are still at the crease. Two from the over and Chase has figures of 14-1-35-0. Which is a slight improvement from England on 21.4-2-60-8.
52nd over: England 169-3 (Root 33, Buttler 13) I suspect we’ll now see a period of (relative) stability in the middle order, with Root, Buttler, Stokes and Bairstow from No4-7. I would play Foakes ahead of Bairstow, but I doubt that’s going to happen in a hurry.
51st over: England 166-3 (Root 31, Buttler 12) “Foakes, Woakes and Buttler are the only men to average 40 since the start of last summer?” says Geoff Wignall. “Sounds as though Buttler needs to get that average down if he wants to hold onto his place.”
Har har, very good.
50th over: England 164-3 (Root 30, Buttler 11) Joseph replaces the quietly heroic Gabriel, whose labours deserve better than figures of 15-0-73-1. Root steers him, deliberately I think, between the slips and gully for four. On reflection, that was more edge than steer but he got away with it.
“If that Buttler stat isn’t an indictment of the problem the team has faced I’m not sure what would be (no disrespect to Messrs Foakes and Woakes),” says Andrew Benzeval. “No team ever amounted to much without a top order.”
49th over: England 160-3 (Root 26, Buttler 11) Chase stops in his delivery stride, I think to warn Buttler that he could Mankad him if he wanted. I’d like to see that again. Buttler was Mankadded in an ODI against Sri Lanka in 2014, although I don’t think it has happened in Test cricket since the 1970s. He almost falls in more orthodox fashion later in the over, edging Chase wide of slip for four.
“There is only one thing worse than making an innocent statistic when a player is chugging along nicely,” says Tom. “And that is not making an innocent statistic when a player is chugging along nicely.”
48th over: England 155-3 (Root 25, Buttler 7) The indefatigabriel continues. This is his eighth over in this spell – the first two were before lunch - and his 15th of the innings. Buttler plays a nice stroke through the covers for a couple and then slices a low full toss through backward point for four. England lead by 278. Buttler is averaging a fraction over 40 since his recall, which is pretty impressive given how difficult batting has been in many of those games. Only Ben Foakes and Chris Woakes average more inthe same period.
47th over: England 149-3 (Root 25, Buttler 1) Chase gets one to turn and bounce at Root, who is hit high on the pad. Chase makes a gentle enquiry for LBW but it was going over the stumps.
“Damn lucky you didn’t put the mockers on Denly,” says Olly Horne, “I shudder to think what might have happened.”
46th over: England 147-3 (Root 24, Buttler 0) England lead by 270.
“Rob,” says Brian Withington. “Interweaving Sky cricket coverage and OBO with ever more bizarre fraternal text updates from the Kosice Steel Ice Hockey Arena in Slovakia. Apparently it’s the US Steel Interdepartmental Tournament, and Hot Rolling Mill have drawn 3-3 with Finishing (surprised that’s even allowed by US owners). Now the swanky exec types from Produce are 2-0 up against the plumbers from Pipe in the hotly awaited grudge match. Keenly priced €2 hot dogs (Pava) and €1.50 beer (Pivo) flowing freely it seems. Can’t wait for the showdown featuring Smelting vs IT support ...”
I bloody did put the mockers on him. Joe Denly has gone, bottom-edging a cut stroke through to the keeper Dowrich. He played really well to make 69 from 99 balls, but Gabriel has bowled himself into the ground and deserves that wicket.
45th over: England 143-2 (Denly 65, Root 24) The last thirtysomething to make a maiden Test hundred for England was Dawid Malan in Perth 14 months ago. I think the last of Denly’s age (32 or over) to do so was Clive Radley in 1978. I’M NOT PUTTING THE MOCKERS ON HIM IT’S JUST AN INNOCENT STATISTIC.
44th over: England 138-2 (Denly 64, Root 23) Denly flashes hard at Gabriel, top-edging a cut over the slips for four, and then Root misses an attempted uppercut.
“OK, just trying to work out where we are with the Root captaincy thing,” says Pete Salmon. “Early on day one we were all for replacing him with Eoin Morgan, but his hand seems to have been strengthened with England looking like winning this Test (all out for 217, Windies chasing 340 give a scare and then are all out for 220). So is there anything riding on this innings of Root in those terms? Also, did anyone in the earlier discussion point out that the marvellously next Test is against Ireland at :ords, so making Morgan captain would be pretty funny. Although post-Brexit as a European team Ireland may not get here... So many questions. The answer is that Root stays as captain whatever happens, isn’t it.”
43rd over: England 133-2 (Denly 60, Root 23) Roston Chase comes on to replace Kemar Roach. He’ll have to do a lot of bowling today, with Keemo Paul injured, and if he takes eight for 60 again I may well go postal. Two singles from his first over.
“Evening Rob,” says Romeo. “It is indeed true that Banter never made a Test fifty, but Bangar might one day. He’ll need Italy to achieve Test status in the next twenty years or so, but he made 40 for their Under-19s against France Under 19s at Bishop’s Stortford last July. Bharti Bangar. Remember the name.”
42nd over: England 131-2 (Denly 59, Root 22) Gabriel sprays a delivery down the leg side for four byes. No chance for the keeper Dowrich.
Fastest average speeds bowled in a Test innings for England in the past 15 years pic.twitter.com/CuPXvOWOrL
41st over: England 126-2 (Denly 59, Root 21) Root has been irritated by some movement behind the bowler’s arm since lunch. He knows that, if England see off this burst from Gabriel and Roach, they will almost certainly win the match. They lead by 249.
“Hello Rob,” says Kim Thonger. “The earlier talk of physics has set me off. If Schrödinger happened to play cricket, I imagine him as a spinner. Would his doosra exist and not exist at the same time? And how on earth would DRS cope with a review that might have two possible outcomes? You could be out and not out simultaneously. What would Dickie Bird make of that, eh?”
40th over: England 125-2 (Denly 59, Root 21) Root has only ever played one Test series without scoring a half-century; that was in New Zealand six years ago. At the moment he is playing second fiddle too Denly, who is timing the ball superbly. He flicks Gabriel off the pads for a couple more and then snicks all along the ground for four to bring up the fifty partnership.
“Fascinating lunchtime discussion about the batting of Robin Smith between Messrs Key, Butcher and Knight, featuring highlights of the 1994 innings in Antigua where he braved some very hostile fast bowling in scoring 175,” says Brian Withington. “Shocking to see him just wearing ear guards under the helmet rather than the full grille. Keys and Butcher emphasised his front-foot bravery and truly colossal power in the cut, whilst Knight reflected on him being felled by a brute of a delivery on the tour that compressed his cheek. Stirring stuff.”
39th over: England 118-2 (Denly 53, Root 20) In there Joe Denly! He reaches a stylish maiden Test fifty with a beautiful drive through mid-off for four. It’s taken only 73 balls, with eight fours, and he is suddenly the favourite to bat at No3 in the Ashes – not so much because of the runs he has made as the way he has made them.
“When was the last time you started your OBO innings with England having a definite advantage like this?” asks John Starbuck. “Demoralised opponents with a poor batting record, injuries to a couple of fielders, drops in the field etc. When the seesaw swings, it really swings.”
38th over: England 113-2 (Denly 49, Root 19) Shannon Gabriel starts the afternoon session to his old chum Joe Root, who plays a few good defensive shots and then steals a single to midwicket. Joe Denly clips in the air but safely wide of midwicket, and the ball races away for four. He is one away from a maiden Test fifty.
“I’m confused,” says Henry Lubienski. “Leach is the best spinner England have. Nothing that has happened in his career so far would contradict the theory that he could become a new Underwood/Swann category of bowler. I’d expect Anderson & Leach to be the first bowlers on the team sheet on basis that they’re the best fast & slow bowler available and others to be fitted in around them. Are the selectors missing something? Or is it me?”
Thanks Simon, hello everyone. Banter never made a Test fifty. Joe Denly, the subject of all kinds of hilarity in the last fortnight, is five runs away from doing so. With the West Indian attack depleted through injury, he could achieve something even grander - and almost guarantee a place at the start of next summer’s Ashes.
Another fine session for England, for all that they lost two wickets to poor deliveries. Notably, however, Keaton Jennings got out for not many again and will probably now lose his place in the team for a while, and Denly has played smartly and will probably now keep his place in the team for a while. One person not hanging around, however, is me: Rob Smyth will be here shortly to guide you through the interval and beyond. Send your emails to him here. Bye for now!
37th over: England 108-2 (Denly 45, Root 18) Roston Chase brings the session to a conclusion. Before the over starts Gabriel and Root get into some kind of snafu, the brawny bowler having to be escorted away from the scene of potential conflict after exchanging some nasty looks and a few angry words. What follows is peaceful enough, a single coming off the over.
36th over: England 107-2 (Denly 45, Root 17) Gabriel bowls short at Root again, and this time he gets the meat of his bat on it, at shoulder height, and cuts away for four. We’ve got time for one more over before lunch. “Appalled at the hitherto superficial and frankly rather positvist analysis of the custard question,” rages Stuart Robinson. “What about the phenomenological and symbolic effects of inevitable splashing in the face, especially from a good yorker? It’s custard, for Chrissakes!” Well that would depend on the custard’s Newtonianness, wouldn’t it?
Today Denly has attacked 30% of his deliveries compared to his average across the first three innings of his career of 23%. This positivity has translated into a dot ball percentage of 67% compared to 80% and a run rate of 4.42 compared to 2.69. #WIvENG
35th over: England 101-2 (Denly 44, Root 12) England’s total tickles into triple figures. Here, courtesy of Hugh Maguire, is some footage of a non-Newtonian fluid in action. Non-Newtonian fluids look fun.
34th over: England 98-2 (Denly 43, Root 10) Shannon Gabriel is back for a quick spell before lunch, and Denly waves his bat unwisely at a short, wide delivery, his bat passing just under it, and then Root has a go at a shorter, faster one, his bat passing just over it. John Starbuck has some genuine expertise to give us (second-hand, obviously), about the Jennings wicket. “Atherton, commentating on Talksport2, has said that it did hit the gap between pad and thigh-pad, which sent it into Jennings’s stumps,” he reveals. “He also said it was a rare occurrence, but he’d seen it happen himself.” And so have I, now.
Since 2006 only four opening batsmen in the world have had a higher false shot percentage against pace than Keaton Jennings' 20% and none of them have a lower average runs per wicket against pace than Jennings' 16.65. #WIvENGpic.twitter.com/99AUKWYIxV
33rd over: England 96-2 (Denly 42, Root 10) Robert Wilson is thinking about custard wickets. “I will not preposterously claim to have carried out double-blind trials but as a Belfast Catholic child, the dearth of cricketing infrastructure required much improvisation (getting my brothers to bowl golf-balls at my head on a nine-foot concrete strip in honour of Curtley Ambrose was a memorable highlight),” he writes. “While unqualified on custard pitches, I can tell you with confidence that border collies make for disappointing wicketkeepers, cowpats seriously inhibit legspin and a sliotar (hurling ball) seams much less than you might imagine.”
32nd over: England 93-2 (Denly 41, Root 8) Shot! That’s lovely from Root, who pulls the ball through midwicket for an emphatic four. Have a look (if you’re able) at Jennings’ wicket here, and particularly at the angle from behind the wicket. Should thigh pads fly around the trouser like that, if they’re properly used? It looks like he’s got an angry ferret in there.
"How has that gone through!"
It doesn't rain, it pours, for Keaton Jennings who is bowled around his legs by Joseph for 23.
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31st over: England 88-2 (Denly 40, Root 4)“I do not profess anything beyond GCSE physics, but I understood non-Newtonian substances to change in form dependent upon the force exerted upon it (for example if you stand in custard, you’ll sink but if you run across it, it is solid),” writes Andrew Benzeval. “Therefore the faster and/or ‘heavier ball’ bowlers will get the most out of such a pitch. Bressie-lad to be recalled perhaps?” You may be a lighter chap than I am, Andrew, but I can assure you that if I ran on custard it would not stay solid for very long.
30th over: England 86-2 (Denly 39, Root 3) Denly flays Joseph’s first delivery, short, wide and not very handsome, for four. “For the ignorant amongst us, i.e. me, what is a Newtonian liquid – or indeed a non-Newtonian one?” asks Geoff Wignall. “Does it help explain why cricket was a post-Newtonian invention?” I think, and though I have only inferred this I believe it to be true, that a Newtonian liquid is one on which scientists have proved that cricket cannot be played.
29th over: England 80-2 (Denly 34, Root 2) England’s lead now exceeds 200, after plundering Chase for four singles and a last-ball three, lifted over cover by Denly but with so little power it just stops after landing. Anyway, back to the big issue of the day. Which is, obviously, custard. “What happens if the bowler bowls actual pies into the custard?” asks Richard Rouse. “And does the batsman have to play with a stick of rhubarb?”
28th over: England 73-2 (Denly 29, Root 0) A wicket maiden. Having now seen the wicket several times, at a variety of speeds and from several angles, I still have no idea how a ball heading limply down the leg side managed to turn right off the trouser. There was probably some thigh pad involved, but with my limited understanding of physics I cannot understand how the ball went right, into the wicket, rather than in the other direction.
Alzari Joseph’s rubbish over-opening delivery is heading slowly down the leg side until it hits Jennings’ trousers, diverts towards the wicket and gently removes a bail! That is just rank bad luck.
27th over: England 73-1 (Jennings 23, Denly 29) A run! Jennings scampers a single from Chase’s final delivery, and we have scoreboard-shifting action!
26th over: England 72-1 (Jennings 22, Denly 29) And another maiden, thanks to Roach smartly diverting his follow-through to field Denly’s drive down the ground. The bowler ends the over, panting and sweating, giving Denly a bit of a look, his final ball having held up off the surface before going through to the keeper almost in slow motion.
25th over: England 72-1 (Jennings 22, Denly 29)“Robert Wilson’s reflections on facing extreme pace on a lukewarm custard wicket have me wondering about how that track might play when the custard had cooled sufficiently that a nice skin formed,” muses Brian Withington. “Might we be looking at a very friendly surface with plenty of grip for the canny spinner? Or just the basis for a trifling seamer to strut his stuff ...” It would depend of course on whether we were using a classic, thick English custard, or a thinner sauce more akin to a Crème anglaise. I think a fast ball might skim across a Crème anglaise while it would sink right into the custard, though scientific exploration would of course be needed to confirm this. Anyway, another maiden, from Chase this time.
24th over: England 72-1 (Jennings 22, Denly 29) A fine over from Roach, who makes Denly’s life repeatedly difficult but doesn’t quite locate an edge. Still, a maiden. And hang on, this custard thing clearly has legs. “Robert Wilson’s message made me wonder whether the non-Newtonian nature of warm custard would translate into a playable pitch,” writes Olly Horne. “Warrants investigating, in my opinion.”
23rd over: England 72-1 (Jennings 22, Denly 29) A change of pace with Roston Chase, and Shannon Gabriel is forced to do some fielding on the boundary – and he doesn’t seem to be moving very fluently either. West Indies are already one seamer down after the Paul’s injury, but maybe Gabriel’s just in a funk.
“Robert Wilson said that he would want to face a 90 mph ball on a paddling pool filled with custard,” says Robert Darby. “Custard is a non-Newtonian liquid, so it would be interesting to see whether a fall would keep low or rear up. I think we should be told.” I would love to see Gabriel bowl into a paddling pool full of custard in the name of science.
22nd over: England 69-1 (Jennings 20, Denly 29) The 50 partnership comes up as a result of a Roach bouncer, called wide. The next ball jags into Denly, hits the inside edge, thunders into his right thigh and then drops safely. And that’s drinks, the first hour of the day having gone pretty well for England after a horrific start. “Would it be uncharitable to those concerned to suggest that Keaton Jennings’s driving produces the same unease as that of the Duke of Edinburgh?” wonders Brian Withington. “Should Keaton voluntarily surrender his licence for that shot before the selectors take it all away?”
21st over: England 68-1 (Jennings 20, Denly 29) Denly flays through the covers again, and is looking in fine fettle, the drop-that-Sky-are-still-calling-a-drop-even-though-it-was-a-no-ball excepted, going as he is at a shade over a run a ball. Jennings is averaging a run every four balls, and his attempt to play himself into form remains a way short of its end-point. Still, he is occupying the crease, which is something.
20th over: England 63-1 (Jennings 20, Denly 25) A maiden from Roach to Jennings, whose recent free-scoring comes to an abrupt halt. The final delivery is a cracker, moving towards the batsman at hip height and then changing its mind as it rises off the pitch and deciding to move away from him. “As someone who has had many years of watching the likes of Angus Fraser and then Stuart Broad express their disappointment, that hardly looks like a strop to me,” sniffs Richard O’Hagan. “Gabriel could certainly use some lessons on that front.”
19th over: England 63-1 (Jennings 20, Denly 25) Another fine shot from Denly, who has already hit a few, though after rumbling through the covers the ball is stopped a few inches short of the rope. In other news, Tell it to my Heart re-charted in 1996, reaching No23 in the hit parade, so it obviously has some sort of lasting appeal. “Bloody hell,” exclaims Robert Wilson, “that pitch-pic is something. ‘Dappled’ is a masterly euphemism for it. The thing’s making me seasick. I wouldn’t fancy facing 90mph plus on that (then again, if I’m honest, I wouldn’t fancy facing 90mph plus on a paddling pool filled with lukewarm custard).”
18th over: England 57-1 (Jennings 18, Denly 21) Between overs, Taylor Dayne’s Tell it to my Heart blares out of the speakers in St Lucia. A 1988 No3 hit, that is a particularly obscure selection, and not even very good. Surely we should have forgotten that by now? Jennings plays another of his trademark loose drives, this one sending the ball safely over point for four.
17th over: England 50-1 (Jennings 12, Denly 20) Roach bowls a beauty that zings past the edge of Jennings’ wafting bat, and ends the over with a spot-on yorker, well defended (just).
16th over: England 48-1 (Jennings 9, Denly 20) Gabriel slings down a short ball to Jennings, and this no ball is called. Then Denly slashes the ball over gully for four, before driving straight as an arrow down the ground for four more.
“While I’d happily have seen Jennings out immediately, thus ensuring there are no awkward fifties that might make the selectors give him one more chance, Burns’s carelessness at times in this series is very frustrating,” writes Kevin Wilson. “He is clearly the best opening batsman we could pick, but he’s hovering around that inconsequential mid-20s that all his predecessors had after their runs and is tallying up those dismissals that make you groan. And with Starc, Hazlewood and Cummins to come, I don’t see any cheap runs on the horizon to plump that average up.”
Shannon Gabriel was not happy with that one... pic.twitter.com/goyVQAPUnc
15th over: England 38-1 (Jennings 9, Denly 12) Watching the replays, I’m sure Gabriel overstepped before Denly was dropped, and thus even if Hetmyer had pouched the catch the batsman would have survived. Someone should tell the bowler that before he gets too angry about other people’s failings (and he did, as the ball hit the floor, appear very angry indeed). Roach replaces Keemo Paul, who leaves the field on a stretcher.
14th over: England 37-1 (Jennings 8, Denly 12) Denly clips a fine drive through cover, and Paul sets off after it. He seems certain to catch it before it reaches the rope, but suddenly he slows down, ball and player slowly reach the boundary, and Paul collapses on the other side. That’s clearly muscle-knack of some description, and that will surely be the end of his Test. Then Gabriel jags one into Denly, who fends it straight to third slip where Hetmyer drops an absolute sitter!
13th over: England 33-1 (Jennings 8, Denly 8) Denly gets a single off the fifth ball of the over, and has eight from 10 balls. Jennings has eight from 47.
12th over: England 32-1 (Jennings 8, Denly 7) Shannon Gabriel’s first ball of the day is significantly less impressive than Paul’s, flung wildly down the leg side for five wides. Then a misfield allows England to scamper a couple more freebies. Jennings faces the final three deliveries without playing a shot.
11th over: England 24-1 (Jennings 8, Denly 4) Denly nicks his first ball past the cordon for four, after Burns surrenders his wicket needlessly to an unthreatening opener from Keemo Paul. “A second day with England on top?” muses Guy Hornsby. “Sri Lanka feels like a decade ago. But also, there’s plenty left in this Test given England’s performances so far. I’m sure we could easily disintegrate this morning then watch as Windies cruise past a 250 lead.”
Well that didn’t take long. Burns falls to the first ball of the day, slapping it straight to square leg!
The players are out and ready for action. Let’s see what the new day has in store...
This is what the pitch looks like this morning. Plenty still in it for the bowlers, is the consensus, dappled as it is with dents and bumps.
Predictions for what will happen on here today?
Scorecard: https://t.co/LUJYhjps6Q#WIvENGpic.twitter.com/us7CWLMNOd
Fancy photo of the day:
For the first time in this series England were able to sleep well, savouring a dominant position in a Test match. They lead by 142 runs with all 10 second-innings wickets remaining, Keaton Jennings is still not out having faced 40 balls, making this already longer than 17 of his 32 Test innings, and they are just 13 runs away from enjoying a lead larger than West Indies’ first-innings total. Though they won’t want their bowling chops to be tested again today, when the time comes they look capable of taking wickets, for at least as long as Mark Wood is slinging down 94mph firecrackers rather than nursing an injury in the physio room. It is all, in short, extremely if belatedly promising. Here’s some pre-action reading, with play due to get under way at 2pm GMT. Every day of this series has been enjoyable and memorable; let’s hope for another!
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