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England v West Indies: second Test, day one – as it happened

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England, put in by West Indies, closed on 207 for three after a superb partnership between Dom Sibley and Ben Stokes

82nd over: England 207-3 (Sibley 86, Stokes 59) The sun finally comes out at 7.29pm, as Holder beats Stokes’ outside edge with the final ball of the day. It’s been an attritional day’s play, but a very good one for England. I’d love tostop and chat about Dom Sibley’s virtous sexlessnessbut I have to go and blog some football. Thanks for your company and emails, goodnight!

81st over: England 206-3 (Sibley 85, Stokes 59) The new ball is available, but the old one is still swinging so Roach continues with that. He shapes a superb delivery past Stokes’s outside edge, and England survive another over. One to go.

80th over: England 205-3 (Sibley 84, Stokes 59) “Good evening, Rob,” says Stephen Davenport. “I can see the argument against 10am starts in the autumn and spring, when morning conditions might still be moist. ‘Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness’ and all that, and, er, whatever it was that old Johnny Keats might have said about spring dampness. But in the height of summer I wouldn’t think that this would be so much of an issue, although the romance poets are strangely quiet on the subject of tricky early batting conditions.”

I’m sure that’s not the reason they aren’t starting early. It’ll be bureaucracy. It’s always bureaucracy. But there might be a reason that we’re all missing.

79th over: England 204-3 (Sibley 83, Stokes 59) Nasser Hussain asks Michael Holding how he would respond if his captain asked him whether he wanted to take the second new ball tonight. “I’d say, ‘Skip, I’ll sleep on it...’”

Sibley shovels Roach into the leg side for a single. Every little helps.

78th over: England 203-3 (Sibley 82, Stokes 59) Holder beats Stokes with a monstrous delivery from round the wicket that angles in and then swings away. The ball has swung all day, so England have done extremely well to reach 203 for three, however long it has taken them. That’s another maiden, Holder’s eighth of the day.

77th over: England 203-3 (Sibley 82, Stokes 59) A maiden from Roach to Sibley. We bemoan a culture of instant gratification among the youth of today, yet Sibley has faced 241 balls without checking his phone once.

“The English tail looks pretty good in this game,” says Chris Morris. “Two genuine allrounders plus Broad is a distinct upgrade on Archer, Anderson and Wood. Woakes can play a defensive innings if needed and surely one of him, Buttler and Curran will come off if they are swinging the bat. Trying not to jinx things but looks really promising right now.”

It was umpire’s call, just trimming the bails, so Sibley survives. Excellent umpiring from the peerless Michael Gough.

It was a good ball from Roach, which nipped back a touch to hit Sibley on the flap of the pad as he worked across the line. It should be too high.

WEST INDIES REVIEW FOR LBW AGAINST SIBLEY! This looks close, but Michael Gough gave it not out and he is the world’s best umpire, so hopefully Sibley will be okay.

76th over: England 202-3 (Sibley 82, Stokes 59) It’s stalemate out there. West Indies are bowling dry, England are batting drier.

“Afternoon Rob,” says Joe Roberts. “I can only assume that the reason they can’t start earlier is for the TV viewing public in the Caribbean. An 11am start is either a 5am start here (Cayman & other western islands) or a 6am start for the Eastern Caribbean. With no audience in the crowd, the TV viewing figures are surely even more important; I for one am quite happy they’re avoiding starting earlier!”

75th over: England 200-3 (Sibley 82, Stokes 57) A hooping attempted yorker from Roach is clipped through midwicket for four by Sibley, who moves into the eighties as a result. He’s batted all day and that’s only his fourth boundary, a reflection of his abnormal patience and concentration.

“Surely,” says Kim Thonger, “the obvious go-to excuse now for dropping a sitter is, ‘The ball looked virus ridden, I was concerned for the health of my bubble, and thought it best to minimise contact time with it.’”

74th over: England 195-3 (Sibley 78, Stokes 57) A maiden from Holder to Stokes.The phrase ‘hard yakka’ is associated with bowling, but it has applied just as much to the batting today. In the circumstances, I think Sibley and Stokes have been superb. All things being equal, this will be a matchwinning partnership.

“A 10am start is a bad idea,” says Ian Pearson, “because damp still in the pitch can give a huge early advantage to the bowling side.”

73rd over: England 195-3 (Sibley 78, Stokes 57) A double change, with Roach replacing Joseph. There are 11 overs remaining, light permitting. He spears a yorker to Sibley down the leg side, at which point it suddenly swings and almost beats Dowrich on the outside. “Cricket’s the winner there!” says Bumble on Sky.

“That Holder drop has got me wondering what the ‘go to’ excuse for putting down a sitter is now players can no longer say ‘it came out of the crowd’,” says Christopher Davis.

72nd over: England 193-3 (Sibley 76, Stokes 57) Holder replaces Gabriel, who has looked pretty stiff for most of the day, and starts with a maiden to Stokes.

“So play could go on until 7.30 tonight to get the overs in that were lost earlier in the day,” says Luke Stevenson. “What I don’t understand is why, in a country where light dies early and there are no fans to accommodate, they don’t entertain starting at 10am rather than 11? Would mean more overs in the day and would have been useful last week when you lost a whole day.”

71st over: England 193-3 (Sibley 76, Stokes 57) Stokes edges an outswinger from Joseph for three to reach a determined half-century from 119 balls. It’s been that rarest of things, the ugly Stokes fifty, but all the more impressive because of that. He couldn’t have played an innings like this five years ago. He gets four more later in the over with a tickle off the pads.

70th over: England 180-3 (Sibley 73, Stokes 47) That’s a lovely shot from Stokes, who times a full ball from Gabriel through midwicket for four. A weary over from Gabriel includes a no-ball and an off-side wide. There are 13 overs remaining.

69th over: England 172-3 (Sibley 73, Stokes 42) Stokes has reverted to responsible mode, with four runs from 21 deliveries since that mighty slog-sweep off Chase. He’s into the forties for the third time in the series, and I wouldn’t want to be a dressing-room locker if he gets out now.

68th over: England 171-3 (Sibley 73, Stokes 41) Gabriel spears a vile wide straight to second slip. That drop aside, England have looked fairly secure in the last hour - certainly more comfortable than they did before tea.

“Sorry, should have clarified that Rooney was better in his mid to late 20s,” says David Wall. “Less exciting to watch than when a teenager but I think a better player. Of course, his downward curve was quite steep but he was still an excellent player even into his 30s (just much less good than he had been at his best).”

67th over: England 168-3 (Sibley 72, Stokes 40) A Campbell misfield turns one run into three for Sibley, who is 28 away from a second Test hundred. It’s been a superb performance.

66th over: England 165-3 (Sibley 69, Stokes 40) Shannon Gabriel, who limped off the field after his second spell earlier today, returns to the attack - and he has Sibley dropped by Holder at second slip! It was a very full, swinging delivery that tempted Sibley into a fast-handed drive, and Holder put down a sharp but essentially straightforward chance. It hit him on the ball of the thumb and burst through into his body.

65th over: England 161-3 (Sibley 66, Stokes 40) Sibley and Stokes, the oddest of couples, seem to enjoy batting together. They added 92 in their only previous stand, during the Cape Town Test, and this partnership has now reached 80.

“Re: over 59, isn’t similar often said about footballers who have a tendency to lose their rag and get themselves sent off, that if they lost that edge then they’d be less of a player?” says David Wall. “Yet there’s little evidence of that. In fact those who have managed to control their temper as they got a bit older (for instance Vieira, Rooney) became far more effective players, learning how to better channel their energy into doing things that changed the game rather than take out frustrations by doing something stupid. And they were on the field more to have that effect. It might be similar with Stokes; if he concentrated better then he’d get out less. It might be less viscerally thrilling to watch (that was certainly true of Rooney), but arguably that would be a good thing as part of the thrill often comes from half expecting the next moment to bring a game changing piece of play or a monumental screw up.”

64th over: England 159-3 (Sibley 65, Stokes 39) Sibley cuts Chase for three more. I thought Stokes was going to go after Chase when he slog swept him twice a few overs ago, but it hasn’t come to pass.

“Thinking of Haseeb Hameed, as I know you do often, reminds me of my own sporting career which I think we can all relate to,” sniffs Ian Copestake. “Because who hasn’t scored heavily in one match against his school’s own teachers only to fail to be encouraged by those very teachers and so go on to eschew thoughts of opening for England and instead become a failed teacher.”

63rd over: England 153-3 (Sibley 60, Stokes 38) Alzarri Joseph, who was excellent this afternoon, replaces Holder. Sibley squirts him through gully for three to move into the sixties, and that’s your lot. Time for drinks.

“Stokes seems to concentrate best when all seems lost,” says Ben Mimmack. “So I’m surprised he ever loses his concentration in this England unit.”

62nd over: England 150-3 (Sibley 57, Stokes 38) Sibley misses another reverse sweep at Chase, with the ball bouncing past Dowrich for three byes. Stokes shows him how to do it later in the over, pinging the ball past short third man for four.

“Hi Rob,” says Brian Withington. “First innings crease occupation at expense of run rate is fine as long as the former extends beyond the second new ball, and the latter picks up after say 100 overs. No good getting to 170-3 off 70-odd overs and then losing the established batsmen just in time for the new ball to wreak havoc on the rest. For the avoidance of doubt I’m just making an observation rather than offering a forecast.”

61st over: England 143-3 (Sibley 57, Stokes 34) A maiden from Holder to Sibley, who now has 57 from 194 balls. Holder leaves the field at the end of the over.

“To mash up a phrase, Sibley may not be the hero we want, be he’s the hero we desperately need, single minded at keeping his wicket alive,” says Toby Simons. “Anyone who says he’s got fewer scoring shots than Sir Chef is being a little cruel I feel; he’s pretty new to the job and looks like he has the temperament. Got a decent amount of time for Burns too - if anyone has any better suggestions, I’d be surprised. Now if Stokes (and Buttler to an extent) stops fluffing it after nice starts, it’ll get much more interesting...”

60th over: England 142-3 (Sibley 57, Stokes 34) Crikey. Out of nowhere, Sibley launches into a reverse sweep at Chase and is beaten. He really does need an out shot against the spinner. Nasser Hussain makes an interesting point, that Sibley could not be in better hands in that regard - Graham Thorpe, England’s batting coach, was England’s best player of spin during his Test career.

59th over: England 141-3 (Sibley 56, Stokes 34) Holder continues to swing the ball encouragingly, both for him and the England attack. If it’s like this tomorrow - if, if, if - they have a very good attack for the conditions.

“I think if Stokes had the ‘concentration of Gooch’, he’d lose the essence of Stokes,” says John Potter. “Careful not to lose what is great about him, in the pursuit of something which is lesser. Happy watching!”

58th over: England 139-3 (Sibley 56, Stokes 34) Stokes brings up the fifty partnership with a mishit slog sweep for two off Chase. He is itching to get going, and later in the over he nails a slog sweep for four. Nine from the over, all to Stokes.A somnolent day’s play is about to come to life.

57th over: England 130-3 (Sibley 56, Stokes 25) Sibley is beaten twice by the relentless Holder. The first kept a bit low, the second was a gorgeous outswinger that lured Sibley into the drive. An excellent over ends with an unsuccessful LBW appeal against Sibley. It was missing leg.

56th over: England 130-3 (Sibley 56, Stokes 25) This is an important period for Stokes, who has failed to build on promising starts quite a lot lately. Since the Headingley miracle he has been dismissed between 20 and 49 in nine of his 16 Test innings - and in most of those nine innings he was batting like a lord. It can only be down to concentration.

There’s another example, a lazy shot off Chase that goes onto the thigh and almost loops to slip. This is the thing with Stokes. He’s already a great cricketer, yet his batting still has plenty of room for improvement. Imagine him with the hunger and concentration of a Gooch, or even a Sibley.

55th over: England 127-3 (Sibley 54, Stokes 24) Both teams are waiting for the other to blink. Holder replaces Roach, who bowled a disciplined but relatively unthreatening spell, and beats Stokes with his first and third deliveries. Lovely bowling.

54th over: England 125-3 (Sibley 54, Stokes 22) “So, given Root’s decline as a batsman since becoming captain (like so many others), how much longer do you give him in the role?” says John Starbuck. “And is he likely to accept being just one of the team again? He might aim to perfect his all-rounder credentials as an attractive extra.”

Now that they’ve committed to Root as captain, I’d probably give him to the end of the next Ashes series, though India might break him before that. It’ll also depend on the form of his potential replacements and how much bowling Stokes does. But, at the risk of accentuating the positive, it won’t end well.

53rd over: England 124-3 (Sibley 54, Stokes 21) A shortish delivery from Roach is whipped crisply through midwicket for four by Sibley. He’s beaten off the last ball of the over, pushing at a good delivery in the corridor.

“Afternoon Rob,” says Simon McMahon. “At last, it all makes sense. English cricket from 1989-99 was in actual fact run by blazers who were playing a game of Battrick. An early forerunner of Bandersnatch, in which decisions were made on a whim by remote control, and each one turned out to be worse than the decision that preceded it.”

52nd over: England 120-3 (Sibley 50, Stokes 21) Sibley works Chase for a single to reach an admirable, clear-headed fifty from 164 balls, with two fours. He’s bringing sexless back all right, and England should be grateful for every last dot ball.

“What,” says Robin Thomas, “are Root’s averages before and after becoming captain I wonder?”

51st over: England 116-3 (Sibley 49, Stokes 18) Gabriel is back on the field, which is good news for lovers of virile fast bowling. Roach continues for now, plugging away outside Sibley’s off stump. He’s yet to take a wicket in this series, though an economy rate of 2.04 means he is doing a decent jobh for the team.

50th over: England 114-3 (Sibley 47, Stokes 18) Chase has a short leg and leg slip for Sibley, who is working everything into the leg side. He takes a risky single to backward square - might have been Stokes’ call, actually - and is just home when Chase breaks the stumps.

“Afternoon, Rob,” says Phil Sawyer. “On FlickIt Cricket, what about those of us whose support bubble is basically the postie (I haven’t actually broken the news to him yet)? I suspect he might tell me to flick off.”

49th over: England 113-3 (Sibley 46, Stokes 18) “Long term only two of Crawley, Burns and Sibley will survive,” says Digvijay Yadav. “My guess is the former two.”

Sibley will always have to work hard for affection and even trust, because of his approach and style. India and Australia will be huge tests of his technique, but he’s a resourceful bugger and his temperament is terrific. Crawley looks by far the best of the three, but sometimes style creates the illusion of substance: Gary Balance has a higher Test average than Stokes, Moeen, Bairstow and Buttler. Nobody knows anything.

48th over: England 112-3 (Sibley 46, Stokes 18) Chase continues, and his fourth ball turns sharply into Sibley. Dom Bess will like that. It’s another maiden; and, as David Lloyd says on Sky, Sibley definitely needs to work on a release shot against spin. I hope he didn’t take an oath to the contrary.

“Evening Rob,” says Tim Hoult. “On the subject of plugging cricket games, I randomly discovered a browser-based cricket management game called Battrick some 12 years ago through the Graun. It’s still going, still free to play with several thousand managers from around the world, and still as infuriating as ever when your best batsmen fall cheaply one after the other in seemingly good conditions.”

47th over: England 112-3 (Sibley 46, Stokes 18) Kemar Roach starts after tea to Stokes, who walks down the track but can only drive to mid-off. A maiden.

“Afternoon Rob,” says Dave Brown. “I would just like to thank you and your team for making my stay in hospital during the 1st Test so very bearable. All good and on the mend but is there anything better than the Holy Trinity of Relaxation than OBO, TMS and a little morphine button be one’s side.”

The playere are back out on the field. The light isn’t great, but play is going to resume.

“Hi Rob,” says Rob L. That was the right turn of phrase you used for Sibley - eating up another six balls. That’s exactly what he seems to do. He’s an over-eater. Rather than Alastair Cook, as Gary Naylor said, his more limited approach reminds me of an opening bat from the 80s/90s, though I can’t quite put my finger on who it is. I think it might be an amalgam of some New Zealanders: the Blairs Pocock and Hartland were the first to come to mind, as I don’t remember them playing many shots at all. It could also involve Trevor Franklin, whose strike rate is about 30% lower than Sibley (!), though I don’t remember him having the on-side bias. This is all of course completely unfair on Sibley, who looks like a very decent player. Difficult to resist reminiscing about early 1990s New Zealand cricket though.”

He’s bringing sexless back/Them other fuppers don’t know how to bat.

Teatime pluggery

The brother-in-law of a friend of an old friend spent lockdown inventing a new game – FlickIt Cricket. It looks like oodles of fun, especially if you have immediate descendants. And the good news is you can play it with people from your support bubble!

46th over: England 112-3 (Sibley 46, Stokes 18) Stokes swaggers down the track to lift Chase back over his head for six, a shot of effortless majesty. He was nowhere near the pitch of the ball but it didn’t matter. Stokes suddenly looks a bit unfocussed, though, and almost spoons the next delivery to mid-on. Concentration is his biggest weakness as a batsman, perhaps his only one.

No matter: that’s tea.

45th over: England 103-3 (Sibley 46, Stokes 9) It’s spin from both ends, with Kraigg Brathwaite coming on to bowl some right-arm filt just before tea. It’s a nice idea, just to see if they can tempt Stokes into something indiscreet. Not this time.

44th over: England 102-3 (Sibley 46, Stokes 8) No news yet on Shannon Gabriel’s fitness, though he is still off the field. That means the return of Roston Chase, England’s new improbable nemesis. It’s a long list.

And Chase almost gets his third wicket when Sibley is dropped at short leg second ball! It was a very sharp chance to the fielder - NO, I DON’T KNOW WHO IT WAS - as Sibley worked the ball off the face of the bat, and your man couldn’t hang on. The next ball skids on to beat Sibley and hit the back pad outside the line of off stump.

43rd over: England 100-3 (Sibley 44, Stokes 8) For now, Stokes is in Responsible Mode. With the ball nibbling around he is leaving as many deliveries as possible, including all six in that Roach over. Sibley has 44 from 137 balls, Stokes 8 from 36.

“It’s becoming clear that what kept Pavement together as long as they did was a deep and abiding interest in cricket,” says Ian Forth. “Spiral Stairs is married to an alumna of Brisbane Girls Grammar, so no doubt can read a googly. I once heard Bob Nastanovich comment onstage about the the Bingle/Fevola/Michael Clarke shower photo incident. That just leaves Mark Ibold - hope he didn’t feel left out when the tour bus TV got switched to The Ashes - again.”

42nd over: England 100-3 (Sibley 44, Stokes 8) Sibley works Joseph for a couple to bring up the England hundred. It’s been an innings of few highlights - two boundaries in 137 balls, and one of those was an edge - but considerable substance.

41st over: England 98-3 (Sibley 42, Stokes 8) Roach replaces Holder, who bowled a good spell of 7-2-17-0, and starts with an accurate over to Stokes. It’s easy to slag England off when they collapse again and again and again, but this is a high-class West Indies attack, probably their best for 20 years.

40th over: England 96-3 (Sibley 42, Stokes 8) Tea will be taken at 4.25pm local time, which is just over 20 minutes away. Here’s a reasonable stat - Test deliveries faced by England batsmen since Dom Sibley made his debut, a list he tops with 1226. In fact, only Marnus Labuschagne has faced more deliveries than Sibley in that time. The biggest tests are yet to come, but he’s made a very promising start.

39th over: England 96-3 (Sibley 42, Stokes 8) A controlled cover drive off Holder brings three more runs for Sibley. He’s played superbly today. Holder then beats Stokes with a delicious legcutter to the left-hander.

38th over: England 91-3 (Sibley 38, Stokes 7) There’s a long evening session ahead - about eight hours - and Gabriel is currently off the field, so England could cash in against a tired attack if they don’t lose any wickets either side of tea. This is a challenging spell from Joseph, though, and Sibley needs to be alert to eat up another six deliveries.

37th over: England 90-3 (Sibley 37, Stokes 7) Holder to Stokes, round whatever number it is. Stokes politely declines the offer of a few drive balls from over the wicket, so Holder changes the angle for the final delivery. Stokes leaves that as well.

“Hi Rob,” says John Foster. “My personal Pavement/cricket link - I watched England win the 2010 T20 World Cup final with Westie (the drummer) in a bar in Butlins in Minehead during the Pavement-curated ATP festival there. He was just hanging out with a beer; seemed to understand the game though. For many reasons, probably the most debauched, and best, weekend of my life.”

36th over: England 90-3 (Sibley 37, Stokes 7) Actually, doesn’t Roston Chase sound more like one of Logan Roy’s summer houses? Who can forget the time we played Boar on the Floor at Roston Chase, eh. Meanwhile, Stokes works Joseph through midwicket for a couple and to fine leg for a single.

35th over: England 87-3 (Sibley 37, Stokes 4) Sibley softens his hands sufficiently to edge Holder along the floor for a couple. Holder is bowling well, though, with some very tempting outswingers to the right-handers.

“Roston Chase,” says David Brown, “sounds like a house in an Agatha Christie mystery.”

34th over: England 85-3 (Sibley 35, Stokes 4) Stokes has a Test batting average of 37, which is unbecoming, but that rises to 43 in his last 20 Tests and 50 in his last 15. You can make a case for him being England’s best batsman now, never mind their best player, and if he improves his concentration he will score a helluva lot of runs in the next four or five years.

Joseph beats him on the inside with a beautiful lifting inswinger, the main event of another maiden over.

33rd over: England 85-3 (Sibley 35, Stokes 4) A maiden from Holder to Sibley, who is doing a vital holding job in awkward conditions. Forget the 35 runs; he has faced 109 balls.

32nd over: England 85-3 (Sibley 35, Stokes 4) Ben Stokes is the new batsman. Joseph greets him with an attempted yorker that Stokes works through midwicket for two.

“There’s something of Alastair Cook’s forbearance in Dom Sibley’s refusal to expand his scoring options,” says Gary Naylor. “It’s an old school virtue but a good one. Not everyone can bat like Sehwag and, if you can’t, batting like Cook is often the best option.”

Root has gone to a poor stroke. He played a loose drive at Alzarri Joseph’s second ball, which moved enough to take the edge, and Jason Holder took a really sharp catch at second slip. Holder has played a part in dismissing the England captain for the third innings in a row, this time in the field.

Say it ain’t so, Joe.

31st over: England 81-2 (Sibley 35, Root 23) A lucky escape for Sibley, who reaches for a Holder outswinger and edges it between second and fourth slip for four. I’m not sure it would have carried to third slip anyway. Those runs bring up an important fifty partnership, and now it’s time for drinks.

30th over: England 74-2 (Sibley 31, Root 20) Sibley wears a short one from Gabriel on the hip, an interesting response to those leg-side dismissals. West Indies are bowling for another, with a leg slip in place and Gabriel ramming almost everything into the pitch.

The big man - and he really is an appreciable unit - is sweating profusely and moving gingerly, so I’d imagine this will be a fairly short spell. An off drive for two takes Sibley into the thirties for the seventh time in his last eight innings. Baby steps, but that’s a decent ratio for a Test opener.

29th over: England 70-2 (Sibley 27, Root 20) “Hi Rob,” says Romeo. “If Daniel’s still around, tell him magenta is the colour of the Vitality adverts, AKA the sightscreens behind the batting end. How’s the weather in Orkney? Quite nice here in Crete.”

It’s a glorious summer’s day: overcast, 18 degrees , magenta skies .

28th over: England 68-2 (Sibley 27, Root 18) Rhythm is a fast bowler’s best friend, and for now Gabriel is on his own. A piece of filth - short, wide - is slapped up and over by Sibley. That’s his first boundary of the innings from his 91st delivery. I can’t get enough of his oldfangled approach to batting.

27th over: England 64-2 (Sibley 23, Root 18) Jason Holder, who my nephew Ciaran cannily backed at 4/1 to be the West Indies’ leading wickettaker in this series, returns to the attack. He should bowl well on a day like today, and he starts with a seductive outswinger that Sibley edges along the floor for a single.

“I think it’s fair to add that Burns hasn’t had many chances to bolster his average against especially weaker teams (unlike some of the openers we might compare him to),” says Robert Smithson. “Away series against Sri Lanka, New Zealand, and a rapidly improving West Indies side, plus this series and a home series against Australia where he was one of the positives. The only game you might say that he could have filled his boots and failed was the Ireland test for which the batting conditions were absolutely farcical. He’d have to go through a much longer period of poor form for England to consider dropping him.”

26th over: England 63-2 (Sibley 22, Root 18) Sibley tucks Gabriel off the hip for a single to move to 22 from 83 balls. His Tavareian scoring rate will make him such an asset for England provided he can make enough runs. Root then survives a half-arsed appeal for caught behind when he misses an attempted pull. No review, no spike.

“Has anyone asked Dom Sibley if he gets sweaty hands or just likes showing off his knuckles?” asks Simon Harpo. “I’ve seen him run several times from the non-striker’s with gloves off.”

25th over: England 62-2 (Sibley 23, Root 18) Thanks Daniel, hello everyone. While I assume the position, Root continues his breezy start by clipping Roach through midwicket for four.A nice bread-and-butter stroke.

24th over: England 58-2 (Sibley 23, Root 14) The angel Gabriel has the ball; can he find the rhythm that deserted him this morning? Well Root fancies a shy, going down on one knee to drive through cover, only to under-edge just past the base of off stump; they run one. Gabriel responds well though, hurling down a yorker that Sibley digs out, with trouble, then a Dowrich fumble allows two byes. The partnership is 29 and encapsulates (part of) the brilliance of Joe Root the game is never still when he’s at the wicket.

“Ithink this instrumental says it best,” emails Sam Collier:

23rd over: England 55-2 (Sibley 21, Root 13) Now that’s more like it! Roach yanks Sibley forward, then spirits the ball past the outside edge. The problem for West Indies is that there’ve been too few of those deliveries, but more than that, the ones around them haven’t been tight enough. And there you go; a straight one allows Sibley, who has the fullest array of shots I’ve seen since the halcyon days of Jonathan Trott, to work two to midwicket.

22nd over: England 53-2 (Sibley 19, Root 13) Root sweeps two towards fine leg – he is so good at finding runs – then he twizzles one into the on side before Sibley does likewise.

It’s all very well saying Burns’s average isn’t good enough,” emailsAndrew Cosgrove, “but is there anyone who could take his place who might do better? England have tried nearly all the qualified openers already, and Burns has consistently been one of the best openers in county cricket for the past few years. it would be great if England could pick two openers averaging 50+, but I don’t see how they are going to be.”

21st over: England 51-2 (Sibley 18, Root 10) Ian Bishop notes that Sibley hasn’t been served many teeth-seekers, despite a predilection for eating solids; perhaps it’s a reflection of the lack of pace in the pitch, or a desire to attack his stumps. And Roach doesn’t try him here, a shove to cover getting him off strike before Root does likewise. Things are starting to tick, as they seem to whenever’s he’s at the crease.

20th over: England 47-2 (Sibley 17, Root 9) Chase donates width, so Root cuts him away for three; Sibley adds one to deep square.

Meanwhile, Adam Collins alerts me to this gloriousness...

pic.twitter.com/nwa5nIFrnO

19th over: England 43-2 (Sibley 16, Root 6) Root looks to play a run-down, but edges instead - he gets four – then waves his bat timezones away from his body, only to miss when the ball seams away. Eeesh.

“Bit harsh on Burns considering that his previous runs in his most recent tests are 52, 31, 101, 9, 84, 30, 42?” reckons Lucas Macdonald and he’s right. I am dubious, but will pipe down.

18th over: England 38-2 (Sibley 16, Root 1) It’s not a raging bunsen, reckons Nasser – not like the one prepared for Murali at Trent Bridge in 2006 – rather, the turn is coming off the damp. It’s an interesting new wrinkle, I must say, and compensates for the lack of pace in a pitch which might quicken up over the five days. Meanwhile, Root gets off the mark with a swept single and Sibley forces two to third man.

17th over: England 35-2 (Sibley 14, Root 0) There you go! Roach goes wide of the crease and slants one across from Sibley that leaves him off the seam; he isn’t good enough to edge it. But two twos follow, both of them to Sibley and both of them to long leg.

“Stephen Malkmus could undoubtedly be a difficult man at times,” says Ian Forth, “but a) he’s a bona fide lo-fi genius, and b) his reference to the “wicketkeeper is down on Carrot Rope makes him one of the few Californian lo-fi icons from the early ‘90s that has a fondness for cricket. ‘I know it probably has bad class connotations to be into cricket, but from my standpoint it’s just a very slow, funny game which I watched a lot when we were making the album and I was having terrible bouts of insomnia.’

16th over: England 31-2 (Sibley 10, Root 0) There’s turn and bounce in this track, and England find just a single from the over, Sibley turning into the on side; they sprint a single, and if Campbell hits with his throw to the non-striker’s, the batsman is struggling ... but he’s nowhere near.

A very tenuous cricket connection,” begins Andrew Ainsworth, “although in reality it’s probably not there at all in the shape of Tom Petty’s Nightwatchman from his album Hard Promises, released shortly before the start of the 1981 Ashes series. Like I said, it’s flimsy...”

15th over: England 30-2 (Sibley 9, Root 0) I’m looking forward to seeing how Root bats here, because he’s very hard to stop scoring. Will he have a go at Chase?

The ball hit Root outside the line.

15th over: England 29-2 (Sibley 8, Root 0) I was about to wonder at what point Burns finds himself in trouble; after 32 innings, his average is 33.31, which isn’t really good enough. Anyhow, Roach comes back into the attack, and after Sibley edges just short of slip, he clouts Root’s pad, and when the appeal is rejected...

14th over: England 29-2 (Sibley 8, Root 0) It’s getting lighter as Chase attacks Root, and the ball is turning! He has redeemed a poor morning for his team quicksmart, and suddenly England are bang in trouble. Just when you think you’ve seen every possible formulation of humiliation, they find you another. Lovely, lovely stuff.

Oh dear! Oh dear oh dear oh dear! Crawley glances the deadly Chase around the corner, where Holder collects at leg slip; that’s two wickets in three balls for the legendary twirler, and a golden duck for yerman. Review that!

Right then, off we go again...

The last time a spinner took the first wicket of an Old Trafford was John Emburey, dismissing Australia's Kepler Wessels on 1st Aug 1985.#ENGvWIhttps://t.co/hEmfiNjDMI

Martin Burley emails with a sentence: “Here’s my effort, a description of the exciting end of a movie (with the actors’ names in parentheses), where the villainous creepy-crawly meets its end in a fireplace, to the growing relief of the heroine:

The Broad Buttler (Joseph Brathwaite) Stokes the Blackwood Root Holder and the Pope (Gabriel Campbell) Burns the Crawley Roach - Chase Hope, Bess (Brooks Dowrich)!”

“Cricket-themed one-hit wonder from 1976,” emails Nick Way.

Lunchtime email: “I’m reliably informed that “Magenta (/məˈdʒɛntə/) is a colour which can vary from deep pink to saturated purple,” says Romeo. Thus magenta can be this:

And that’s lunch. West Indies saved themselves there, because they weren’t right this morning - Holder used five bowlers because he had to. So 29-1 is an acceptable return for them, while England will be extremely unhappy to have lost a wicket on the cusp of lunch, and a review with it. See you presently.

Good ball from Chase, straightening and beating Burns’ push; the ball would’ve hit the top of middle stump, which is to say that review was indeed an absolutely hounding one.

Bumble knows! England review! I’ve not a clue why, that looked dead!

14th over: England 29-0 (Burns 15, Sibley 8) Holder goes with Bumble, introducing Roston Chase; Sibley nudges yet another on-side single.

13th over: England 28-0 (Burns 15, Sibley 7) Burns is looking comfy out there, and he drives three to point before Joseph finds some bounce at 85mph; the ball dies en route to Dowrich, bouncing in front, then Sibley adds another single. There’s something about this pitch that screams Stuart Broad, on which point perhaps West Indies are running last week out of their legs (Broad was dropped last week, apparently).

“If we’re going for album tracks by great 90s US indie rock bands,” emails Miranda Jollie, “how about Ballarat from the Lemonheads’ 1990 album Lovey, in honour of the Eastern Oval, Ballarat, Victoria, where cricket has been played since 1862.”

12th over: England 24-0 (Burns 12, Sibley 6) Holder gives Burns one on his pads, which he gleefully turns around the corner for the innings’ first boundary off the bat. So next up, Holder gives width outside off, and Burns craftily paddles him towards the point fence, not hitting too hard, and they run three.

Meanwhile, Felix Cross has a sentence for us: “Root Brooks the Broad Buttler Holder Chase and Stokes Burns Hope.”

11th over: England 17-0 (Burns 5, Sibley 6) We see a diagram showing that West Indies have bowled very few deliveries full of length – it’s not easy batting out there, as you’ll know if you’ve played the game, but it could also be a lot harder. The batsmen haven’t had to play enough, but more than that, haven’t had to play forward enough – especially on a track offering little help for the short stuff. Joseph rattles through a maiden, but it’s not an especially threatening one.

10th over: England 17-0 (Burns 5, Sibley 6) Holder coaxes a bit of bounce from the pitch, but Sibley gets over it, knocking it down into the pitch. He then finalges a single behind, after which Burns waves at a wide one, which leaves him.

“Vic Marks says that Joe Root will ‘be fresh and invigorated’ after returning from paternity duty leave”, emails George in Brisbane. What does Joe know that we don’t?

Related: Joe Root is back and England need his runs to fight back against West Indies | Vic Marks

9th over: England 16-0 (Burns 5, Sibley 5) Sibley nurdles another one off his legs, then Burns forces two to mid off, while in commentary, Bumble advises Holder that it’s worth trying a spinner at OT, when it’s overcast and there’s some juice in the pitch.

“The maroon caps look splendid today!” tweets Gary Naylor. “Such symbols might matter more in a team that is an amalgamation of nations and cultures. As Clive Lloyd showed, harnessing a pan-Caribbean team spirit within which individual expression flourishes, is a winning combination.”

8th over: England 13-0 (Burns 3, Sibley 4) Holder tosses himself the ball, and Burns quickly turns him into the on side for two. They’re the only runs from the over, and England will be pleased with this – they good balls have troubled the batsmen, but there haven’t been many of them, nor enough ok ones to build pressure.

“A little suggestion from Tracey Ullman via Kirsty MacColl,” says Neil Kearsley. “Appropriate for Jofra Archer and most of our batsmen.”

7th over: England 11-0 (Burns 1, Sibley 4) Alzarri Joseph replaces Roach – I wonder if he’ll come back at the other end, whole Gabriel comes correct. Anyhow, there’s a bit of swing for Joseph but he’s not quite there either, ceding a single to each batsmen. West Indies are in danger of wasting this first session.

“Can I nominate ‘Chevy Chase’ by Blyth Power,” asks Richard O’Hagan, “a whole historical tale woven around the progress of a cricket match. Curiously, it doesn’t feature on the band’s seminal album ‘Wicked Men, Wicked Women and Wicketkeepers’.”

6th over: England 9-0 (Burns 0, Sibley 3) It’s hard work batting out there, but Gabriel isn’t quite there yet – when he is, look out. And here comes a better effort, flung from wide of the crease and hitting Burns in the top right corner of his pad. There’s a shout, but that looked high and wide to me. Maiden.

“Ggood to see Pavement get a mention,” says Norval Scott. “After their break-up, in about 2000/2001 I went to see a show in Edinburgh by Scott Kannberg/Spiral Stairs, the guitarist, and ending up having a drink with him afterwards. He had no interest in talking about Pavement and was much more interested in discussing Bolton Wanderers, who had won their first three games of the season and were near or at the top of the Premier League at the time. However, he did tell me that Stephen Malkmus was a *redacted*”.

5th over: England 9-0 (Burns 0, Sibley 3) Roach finds a booming inswinger which clatters Sibley’s extremely obtrusive pad; there’s a shout but it was going down. Some outswingers follow, then another attempted in-ducker goes for a wide, the only run of the over.

“Probably done this before,” says Andrew Porter, “but using only punctuation, ‘and’ and ‘the’ what’s the longest grammatically correct sentence that can be made from the team lineups? Lots of verbs and nouns in there - Burns, Root, Stokes, Buttler, Broad, Hope, Brooks, Chase, Holder...”

4th over: England 8-0 (Burns 0, Sibley 3) Gabriel is into it now, Sibley turning a single behind square on the on side, his brief flirtation with the off nothing but a memory - it’s the only run form the over.

“For the remainder of this series,” says Rhiannon Garth Jones, “overseas users will be able to listen to Test Match Special commentary on the BBC Sport website and app (I know people ask for the overseas link quite often).”

3rd over: England 7-0 (Burns 0, Sibley 2) Athers chuckles at the memory of Ian Bishop smashing Robin Smith’s cheekbone; what larks, dear old Pip , dear old chap. Sportsfolk are brilliant. Anyhow, Sibley shoves a single through cover; do not adjust your sets, he really does.

“You revealed yourself to be a bit a raver during the last Test match,” says Matt Huxley, “so might I submit this. Not sure how well it would go off in the members stand, but sure to blow away any cobwebs Rooty might have (and probably that beard too).”

2nd over: England 6-0 (Burns 0, Sibley 1) Gabriel is struggling with his run up, aborting one and going through with another even though he clearly wanted to stop again; consequently, he flings one miles down the leg side, which beats Dowrich’s dive and goes for five wides. Like the bazzer he is, Gabriel comes back well, ceding a no ball but looking much more comfortable in general.

“If Jesse goes to the BBC site here,” says Chris Drew, “and clicks on ‘Natural Sounds’ , it works overseas.”

1st over: England 0-0 (Burns 0, Sibley 0) Roach has the ball, and it’s already clear there’s not much pace in the pitch – there’s only been one sunny day in the last three weeks, and that moisture is a bit part of why Jason Holder opted to field. Immediately, Roach goes around to the left-handed Burns, and his fifth ball to him is beauty, seaming away from the bat. Maiden.

“Would you mind posting the TMS overseas link in the OBO?” asks Jesse Galdston.

Can anyone help, please?

The players take a knee. What a world.

There’s a lot for England to lose in the next hour. Lovely stuff.

Right then, eyes down: here we go!

“Great to see the likes of your REMs and your Pavements in the list,” tweets your @AsNaturalAsRains, but may I submit the pure Proustian rush of Lou Bega.”

That reminds me a lot of cricket and a lot of a bar in Ios, in which you don a helmet, perform a dentist chair, then have someone hit you over the head with a mallet. It’s extremely invigorating.

“Perhaps the most obvious choice of music would be The Third Man theme,” returns Geoff Wignall, “preferably a cover version of course. But also how about Jurassic 5’s Swing Set?”

“Maybe not in the first eleven of Who songs,” says Richard Woods, “but a decent tribute to our game all the same.”

I’m no doubt attracting opprobrium when I say this, but I don’t get the Who.

“There would be two great things about having Sarah Taylor as the OBO XI wicketkeeper,” says Geoff Wignall. “First would be having Sarah Taylor keeping wicket. Second would be having Kumar Sangakkara playing as a specialist batsman.”

I’d also have Sanga in – partly for his dub-K, and partly for his misfortune in having his phone hacked” in the middle of a county game”.

Looking at the England XI, it lacks pace, but it does not lack batting (in theory). Every player has a first-class century, and all of them has a Test fifty.

England: Burns, Sibley, Crawley, Root, Stokes, Pope, Buttler, Curran, Woakes, Bess, Broad.

West Indies: Brathwaite, Campbell, Hope, Brooks, Chase, Blackwood, Dowrich, Holder, Joseph, Roach, Gabriel.

Tell you what, it’ll take some colossal runs to redeem this.

Joe Root, then, sporting a bumfluff beard. He says what’s been said about Archer has been said, and it’d be high-risk to play Anderson or Wood, who’ve come back from bad injuries – though England need to win. Instead, the attack is Broad, Woakes, Curran, Stokes and Bess; he goes on to say that he appreciated what Broad said during the last Test and notes that he’s played a lot less and Anderson so isn’t close to the end. He’s pleased that, following a bad start, his team got into a position to win at Southampton, and says it looks a good wicket here. It feels a little bit softer than usual, he reckons, but doesn’t say what he’d have done had he won the toss.

He goes on to say that people are smiling in West Indies and it’s for the team to keep things that way.

They’re attracted by the overhead conditions, and whatever’s in the surface, they want first go at extracting. They’re unchanged.

Time for the toss...

“In India, Disco Dancer is a movie from the previous century which became an instant cult classic owing to its display of a dancer trying to live the big life,” says Abhijato Sensarma. “It’s one of those movies from the past which will not win the award for the best movie in any year, but it’s also one of those movies which you’re always down to see on a free evening. I provide the link below to one of the songs from this enduring film. After hearing it, I can only hope that despite being released in the 20th century, the song must have been written with a cricket player kept in mind - Mr Anderson!”

“Rain in Manchester?” emails Phil Sawyer.“Who knew? Anyway, I must point out that Simon Thomas provided a pretty decent OBO XI in the last test.”

Ah, I missed that. But we’re opening out to non-Englishmen and non-men.

“Can I nominate Pavement’s “…and Carrot Rope” from their underrated final album Terror Twilight,” says Thomas Atkins, “with its chorus of ‘the Wicketkeeper is down’. An apt summary of Jos Buttler’s travails with the red ball over the last year or so.”

You’ve really hoofed ther hornet’s nest there, I’m afraid! Here’s Wiki!

“Whatever is going on in the England dressing room,” says Graeme Thorn, “it can’t be as big a scandal as Watergate-gate.”

“Sam Curran would create a nice bit of rough for Mr Bess,” tweets @jackofatrade. That’s true, though West Indies only have one lefty. I’ve actually been wondering if I was too hasty last week, when I wrote that England seemed to have found their spinner – someone to take the ball away from the bat might’ve been helpful in the fourth innings. But Bess seems to have greater potential upside than Jack Leach, so I’d persevere with him.

“Got to say, I’m finding the whole bowler rotation thing a bit hilarious,” chortles Peter Salmon. “Last Ashes, Australia gave a masterclass in rotating their bowling stock across the five Tests. Here we are on day six of the policy and we’ve already had Broad-gate, Archer-gate and we are half an hour after the toss and names are still being moved around the whiteboard. Glorious, English, stuff.”

It’s superb isn’t it. Tangentially, when Alec Stewart was stopped entering the Oval through the Alec Stewart gate, was it called Gate-gate?

While we’re here, shall we do an OBOers playlist? Feel free to send in your rules, but how about we go for things we think other people won’t know, and if we can find a tenuous cricket connection, so much the better. I’ll get us underway with this paean to English batting collapses.

“Definitely Robert William Trevor Key,” says Sean Clayton, “both because he looked like more like an OBO-er (OBO-eist?) than a Modern Cricketer during his playing career and also because I spent most of the mid-to-late 2000s banging on about how he should be recalled. I’m only refraining from nominating Neil Mallender due to the statute of limitations…”

Ah, that takes me back to one of the great Test debuts from one of the great Iain Dowie lookalikes. But I regret to inform you that RWT is wearing brown shoes; I would exclude for that, but submit to majority rule on the matter.

“I have a question for OBOers,” says Kim Thonger.“Would David Gower’s Tiger Moth flight, if it had occurred yesterday, have been a biosecurity breach? They were socially distanced surely? Yes I know, don’t call me Shirley.”

Don’t forget John Morris of Derbyshire. Did he, when fielding close to the wicket, start knocking the ball up to catch it when it dropped, or is my mind playing tricks on me? But back to the original poser, I’m sure Gower can be relied upon to do the right thing - he was socially distancing from balls outside off stump long before it was fashionable.

“Totally agree about Sarah Taylor as the keeper,” says John Starbuck. “My vote is for Kevin Pietersen in most categories, that’s if we are allowed one vote each. If not, I’m sure we’ll see a few complete XIs from readers. Also, which umpires?”

Shakoor Rana and Marais Erasmus? I think we can all agree that Michael Gough goes upstairs.

“In regards to the missing Olly Stone,” emails Zach Nolan, “I can confirm I saw him in the Co-op about a month ago. I was on door duty at the time so unfortunately can’t shed any light on the contents of his basket. How’s that for breaking news?”

What do we think he bought? I’m going for chilli McCoys, a Twirl and a box of Swan Vestas.

Lunch will be at 1.30.

“I see a lot of people defending Buttler saying he should be coming at 250/7 not 13/5 or something on similar lines,” says Rohit Dixit, “so why not change the top order to suit him or if England are inevitably going to be 13/5 on a regular basis (which I am sure you agree is going to be more often than not), get Foakes in or rather get Bairstow in?”

I’m not sure it’d be wise to bring Bairstow back at this point because his issue was one of technique, not form. Had he been dropped sooner – when he should’ve been dropped, in mine – he might be ready now, but he wasn’t. I’ve no idea why they took him on tour in the winter, instead of giving him a brief and programme to help him satisfy it.

In commentary, Nasser notes that England have more scores of 25-40 that any other Test team, then goes on to say that at the Ageas, Rory Burns and Joe Denly both allowed Roston Chase to bowl even though the ball wasn’t turning. If they’d encountered him playing for their counties, he says, they’d have smashed him all over, and Zak Crawley got after him, so they need to appreciate when to hunker down and when to cash in.

“OBO XI,” tweets Neil Parkes. “Rob Key”. I seem to recall discussing the decent syllable deficiency of his name, but I’d need to see your working.

Behind Bumble – who is sporting blazer, cardigan, beard and new glasses – we can see that it’s brightening up. There’s very little chance of further rain, so we should get a full day.

“For all the wanging on about Kohli,” says Peter Gibbs, “I nominate Sarah Taylor. Attitude, entertainment, humour, plus inspirational, outrageously talented, very real personal struggles, moved the game on and changed the conversation ... broke records all over the place. I mean, I could go on.”

Absolutely – she’s my keeper too. I’ve never seen handspeed like it, and not sure I’ve seen brainspeed like it either.

“Whatever happened to Toby Roland-Jones?” asks Max Harrison.

He got injured at the wrong time, mainly, so couldn’t cement a spot – and he needed to because stylistically, he wasn’t what the selectors were after.

“Gutted to see the start delayed by rain, especially since I didn’t realise it was raining,” says Michael Robinson. “Although being just half a mile down the road the ground does look pretty dry here, maybe they can come and play in Alexandra Park round the corner?”

I believe Whalley Range has its own microclimate.

“As much as he’s brought this on himself,” says Adam Giles, “Jof doesn’t strike me as the sort of man that enjoys missing out. That considered, on top of the fact that he’ll have had five days in isolation knowing he’s let the side down, how much fire and brimstone might we see from him in the next game? In a similar vein, what should we be expecting from Broad? I feel like resting Wood and Anderson may have somewhat quelled his burning need to prove a point, seeing as, in light of this week’s selection, resting players now appears to just be another sign of the times.

Finally, is this last-chance saloon for Buttler? Lots of discussion last week by a myriad of pundits as to whether he’d retain his place ahead of Foakes, but I can’t fathom how he continues to be picked despite meagre returns. Foakes, on the other hand, must be wondering just what he has to do to take those gloves off the incumbent.”

Athers would also be tempted – he thinks Wood should’ve played here but not last week. But then what of next week? He goes on to say that Curran might not be a good enough third seamer, so perhaps this is a chance for Robinson to get a go.

“Would England really have decided to rest both Jimmy Anderson and Mark Wood if they’d known Jofra Archer would be unavailable?” asks Smylers. “If not, then it was silly not to include at least one of them as reserves in the 13-player squad. Admittedly it’s awkward to announce both the intention to rest a player and that they are in the squad, but it would’ve made sense. Or, as Vic says, why bother naming a squad at all?”

I wonder, quite a lot, if England might just stick one of them in anyway, then deal with next week next week.

Related: England delay naming squad for second Test with West Indies

By the looks and sounds of things, we need to find something to talk about while we wait. How about we put together our definitive OBO XI? Feel free to nominate for attitude, entertainment, humour, attire, and any of the many other things that have detained us over the last 15 years or so. I’ll start: SJ Broad.

“Think that 2013 test was also a portend of what was to come later that winter,” emails Digvijay Yadav. A fast and bouncy pitch with relatively little sideways movement. Right up Australia’s alley. As an aside, why don’t England play Jamie Overton or Olly Stone? So far we’ve only heard about these boys but rarely glimpsed them. Proper fast from the sound of things.”

Yes, I mainly agree with that. I’m not sure the pitch was fast and bouncy, exactly, but it was true, with action available for those getting close to 90mph (though it’s also fair to note that Australia had the best of the conditions). I’m surprised Olly Stone isn’t involved, but I’ve not seen loads of him or Overton.

Looking at West Indies’ squad, the main question is whether they change their XI and bring in Rahkeem Rashawn Shane Cornwall. My guess is that they stay as they are.

Holding goes on to say how may messages he’s received from around the world following West Indies’ brilliant victory last week. And how brilliantly affirming it is to see them back as a serious and seriously likeable outfit.

“He’s been very foolish,” says Athers of Archer, and it’s hard to argue with that. He’s as measured as ever, and understands the difficulty of being stuck in a bubble for so long, but those are the rules. “Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in a cell and he did nothing wrong,” says Michael Holding. “That’s sacrifice.”

Obviously. It’s still raining, and once it stops, there’ll be a 90-minute clean-up operation.

“Morning,” tweets Guy Hornsby.“It may be raining at Old Trafford but from my window a few miles away in Sale it’s stopped and the forecast looks pretty good from the next hour onwards and over most of the five days. I’m sure we’ll get a result, but what it is is anyone’s guess. Oh Jofra!”

“Jimmy and Wood rested, Jofra excluded,” emails Adrian Armstrong. “Are England at risk of deploying Adelaide 1982, or indeed Lord’s 1982, levels of popgunnery? Broad shoulders can’t carry everything.”

See below – I agree. We’re going to need something significant from Chris Woakes, and he’s capable, but the Ageas might’ve suited him better. Ultimately, Anderson and Wood will be needed next week, but it’s not that helpful if the series is over.

I wonder about England’s selection, as it goes. Old Trafford is maybe England’s best wicket, and I mean that in cricketing terms – how good it is to bat on – and absolute terms – how good is it relative to its rivals. Which is to say that it offers most to the bowlers with a bit of extra gas, and England now have no one with any. In 2013, they needed Kevin Pietersen and Ian Bell to save them for that reason; today, they have a problem.

Formerly of this parish/kehilla/jamia:

To top off a great morning for English cricket, it's raining at Old Trafford

So, what does it all mean? It was probably fair to assume that England were going with Archers, Woakes and Broad, meaning there’s now a place available for one of Sam Curran and Ollie Robinson. My guess is they’ll go for Curran, who’s proved himself at Test level, offers ballast to the batting, and has the precious gift of timing – especially given they’ve got Ben Stokes to augment the pace attack. Perhaps, if another quick was in the squad – Olly Stone, say – they’d have been tempted to replace like with like. But in the circumstances, Ollie Robinson would be a huge punt.

What’s Jofra Archer’s favourite play? Macbeth. Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble, fire burn and testing double.

What’s Jofra Archer’s favourite song? I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles.

Jofra, though; what were you thinking? I mean, we know exactly what you were thinking because it’s similar to what the rest of us have been thinking for four months – this is absolutely *Anglo-Saxon*, this is, is this – but really, as one of your best mates, what were you thinking?

Related: Jofra Archer excluded by England for breach of biosecure protocols

This is not normally a niche that deals with indulgent fripperies like breaking news, but here’s some for you anyway: Test cricket is good. We thought we knew this prior to last week and we did, except we didn’t know it in the way that we know it now; now that we have have been distracted and diverted by it, enraged and enraptured by it, during a time of global disaster. As a wise man once said, ooh baby, I feel right, the music sounds better with you.

In similar vein, we can rely on the next five days to give us life. West Indies will be more confident than before, secure in the knowledge that not only can they beat England in England, but that they can beat England in England without Kemar Roach taking a wicket. That will not happen again, and with Shannon Gabriel and Jason Holder already in the zone, they will fancy themselves to clinch the series at the first time of asking – and with good reason.

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