16th over: England 43-3 (Ballance 16, Root 0) With the spinner’s work done,Clarke brings Hazelwood straight back into the attack. Ballance plays out a watchful maiden.
England aren’t the only ones taking a bit of a shoeing this morning:
Terrible test pitch from what I've seen so far. Very good captaincy by Clarke getting the spinner on so early.
15th over: England 43-3 (Ballance 16, Root 0) Root inside edges onto his pads from his first delivery and is dropped by Haddin from the next! It would’ve been a stunning catch had he held on – he was going one way then had to leap the other and was at full stretch – but the ball squirmed from his grasp. It’s a terrific over from Starc – much more in tune with what we expected from him.
What a ball from Mitchell Starc. Bell can’t get bat close to a huge inswinging yorker and is trapped in front. It might even have been swinging too much, but the finger goes up and he opts not to review.
14th over: England 43-2 (Ballance 16, Bell 1) That aggression from Cook against Lyon didn’t really pay off then:
Nathan Lyon to Alastair Cook . . . . . . . . . . . . . W
Lyon continues after the refreshments and he’s done for the England captain! Cook looks to slash through point, but succeeds only in edging through to Haddin.
13th over: England 42-1 (Ballance 16, Cook 20) Starc returns and his radar is still off – a juicy full toss allows Ballance to drive confidently through the covers for four. And that’s drinks.
12th over: England 36-1 (Ballance 10, Cook 20) Lyon continues and there’s another dance down the track from Cook. It’s so incongruous it’s a bit hard to believe that it’s not some sort of optical illusion or hallucination. Everyone else can see those dancing yellow badgers as well, right?
Plenty of intent from Cook, then, but no runs again – a couple of forceful drives pick out fielders in the off side.
11th over: England 36-1 (Ballance 10, Cook 20) Johnson tries a couple of short balls at Ballance, but they’re not particularly well directed. And as such they don’t really work as the set-up for the full one, which duly comes next. A nudge into the leg side brings him a couple more, then there’s a slightly-too-close-for-comfort leave from the last.
10th over: England 34-1 (Ballance 8, Cook 20) Interesting move from Clarke: here comes Nathan Lyon. “Woar! She’s turned and bounced!” yelps Brad Haddin as the first fails to do either. Cook dances down the track – dances down the track!– at the third and almost drives to the man at short mid off. Who are you and what have you done with Alastair Cook? The remainder is much more standard, Cook fending from the crease. A maiden.
9th over: England 34-1 (Ballance 8, Cook 20) Another streaky boundary for Cook, this time he leaves a leave too late and is a touch fortunate to see the ball skitter low through the slips. Johnson is finding a bit of away swing to the left-hander and he’s up over 90mph, but Cook can cope comfortably whenever he drops a touch short. He does just that with the penultimate ball of the over and the England captain pulls coolly for a single.
8th over: England 29-1 (Ballance 8, Cook 15) Four! But a seriously streaky one for Cook – a very fine inside edge saving him from an lbw shout and skipping away to the fine leg boundary. Another decent over from Hazlewood.
7th over: England 22-1 (Ballance 6, Cook 10) Ballance’s feet are planted in his crease as Johnson begins a new over, and he French-crickets the ball away from in front of his pad. That’s a worrying sign. From the next, the feet barely move again other than to get up on tippy-toes to fend away a bouncer. A single from the next must come as a relief for the England No3 but he’s quickly back on strike, Cook (who, whisper it, looks to be settling nicely) nudging into the leg side for one more. Still, he survives.
6th over: England 20-1 (Ballance 5, Cook 9) Hazlewood bangs one in short. Though ‘bangs’ is probably the wrong word. ‘Plops’ might be more appropriate given the pace of this pitch. Cook gleefully pulls away for four, the sort of shot he can play in his sleep. A couple of balls later, though, he’s tempted into a little jab outside off and the ball beats the bat.
5th over: England 16-1 (Ballance 5, Cook 5) Michael Clarke has seen enough and Mitchell Johnson replaces Mitchell Starc. No venom from Australia’s fast-bowling super-predator here though. Five runs from the over.
4th over: England 11-1 (Ballance 4, Cook 1) A reprieve for Ballance , who gets off the mark with an edge that flies wide of the slips but not quite wide enough for gully. The ball trundles away for four, but that was far from convincing. Hazlewood has hit his straps here.
3rd over: England 7-1 (Ballance 0, Cook 1) Starc sends down a maiden at Cook – too wide of off stump.
2nd over: England 7-1 (Ballance 0, Cook 1) That was the final ball of the over. Fair to say this wouldn’t have been the out-of-nick Gary Ballance’s dream scenario this morning.
Josh Hazlewood takes the new ball at the other end and both batsmen get off the mark, Cook with a push into the off, Lyth with something rather squirtier through the gully region. And as the young bowler strays onto Lyth’s pads we get the first boundary of the series – the Yorkshire opener clipping economically to square leg for four. But next ball he’s gone! Hazlewood squares him up and the balls flies off the face to gully, where Warner takes a superb low catch. First blood to Australia.
1st over: England 0-0 (Lyth 0, Cook 0) As Mitchell Starc crouches at the end of his run, Adam Lyth takes his guard and prepares to face his first ball in Ashes cricket. Low bounce, the lowest of low bounce, troubles him on a couple of occasions but that’s not an over to thrill either batsman or bowler.
“Can we please stop this time zone nonsense?” writes Ant Pease “I’ve got friends watching this in Los Angeles. Play doesn’t start there for another eight hours and all we’re doing is spoiling it for them.”
Right, here we go then. Mitchell Starc has the ball in his hand. And we’re about to get underway …
“I’m in tropical Australia and 8.5 hours ahead,” writes Tim in Darwin. “England slumped to 110 for 4 and recovered to 280 for 8. Hazlewood took 4-35.”
Fireworks, we’ve had fireworks too. Well, a bit of limp pyro anyway. Play will start at 11.15am BST.
Anthems, handshakes, flags, carpet, choirs … and all that out of the way, we’re going to get some cricket. And almost certainly, because this is the way of these things, some rain.
THIS IS INSANE.
Bread of Heaven and a giant Welsh flag being spun in a circle. Quite why it needed to be bone dry for all this is beyond me.
“I’m in Romania (two hours ahead) and can confirm that Neil Emms is correct: the tea break will coincide with the Tour stage’s conclusion here too,” writes Simon Edmond. “Mike Wood and Berlin are not the only lucky ones. PS It’s the lunch break already here. England are 80-2.”
Can anyone in Tahiti fill us in on the score at stumps?
It’s stopped raining but this is the current scene:
The covers are now off but we’re not going to start on time … because we’ve got to have some singing.
There’s been no word on a delayed start … yet. But the covers are well and truly on.
“Living in Germany and having a one hour difference, we have the beautiful happenstance of the tea break coinciding exactly with the last 50km or so of the Tour De France, allowing you to flip over and catch the best bits,” writes Mike Wood in Berlin. “Beautiful stuff. Unfortunately now they’ve embargoed TMS abroad, some of us have had to resort to somewhat underhand methods to get our cricket fix …” There’s nothing underhand about the OBO!
On Sky Ian Ward, sporting a pair of extraordinarily white shorts and supping a cuppa, is currently interviewing Ben Stokes in Ben Stokes’ garage. Lovely stuff.
“So much sport today,” writes Peter Harmer. “What are the chances Andy Murray can finish his match off in the 40 minutes over lunch? It would really simplify my viewing choices today.”
It’s one of the great days in the sporting calendar no doubt about it. Everything louder than everything else.
Tails is the call from Michael Clarke … and it’s heads. And Alastair Cook says England are going to have a bat.
Emails!
“A cold winter’s night in Melbourne. A glass of red in hand. Here we go again. Please, please, please be more 2013/14 than 2013” – Chris Reilly.
Some light pre-match reading perhaps?
The next month or so will show just how far the vibrant new England have come: whether the cultural transformation infused in the team (and through it, the cricket-following public) during the first part of the summer is a permanent marking or whether it will be washed away under a pace-bowling onslaught.
For these final few hours, then, the 2015 Ashes remains unwritten. By the time some get around to reading this the contest will already be under way, and we will know what the first morning brought. Whether the opening delivery was sent straight to a startled second slip, was spanked past point for four, or left alone to fly by wide of off-stump. Nothing in cricket, few things in sport, are as storied as the Ashes.
The first day of a first Ashes Test is something special and both sets of players, young or old, must embrace it. Sure, the intensity is like no other game you will play, but breathe it in. Ride that wave. Because the training is out of the way, the team meetings have been held, the plans are in place and finally all the talk in the media is replaced by the real thing: the cricket.
The good news: it’s the Ashes! The bad news: um, this:
covers on, brollies up
So where are we? No, really, where the hell are we? A couple of months ago it seemed fairly simple to point a metaphorical telescope into the cricketing skies and see where everyone stood, how all the stars aligned. But now? Post-New Zealand? Post epoch-creating Exciting England? Does anyone really know anymore.
Ashes series are not necessarily forks in the road but waymarkers telling us where the road goes from here. In this the English trajectory is fairly clear – crucially, rock bottom (on this particular cycle) is in the past. In many ways it’s worth viewing the 2013 home series as the ground zero – a Australia team in a mess only narrowly (if we’re honest) beaten by an England side on the downslope from the peak of its powers and reliant on a couple of key men in bubbles of exceptional form. The series back in Austraila proved the point.
“I’m watching the live stream from Australia’s ever partisan Channel Nine on the internets,” writes Matt Jones. “At 5.1 overs they flashed up an old print ad featuring Ian Botham in a Saab. It was only up for a moment, and was really quite odd.” It made much more sense on Sky, when Botham was on hand to provide some anecdotes about rolling said car on some racing track somewhere and walking away unhurt.
A good session for England, even if England’s openers negotiated the last half-hour easily enough. Intriguingly poised, I think.
And that is officially lunchtime. Bon appetit!
9th over: Australia 26-0 (Rogers 15, Warner 5)
Another maiden, largely thanks to an excellent stop from Stokes at cover. “Simon Lewis’s rural / urban fringe myth, and WG Grace’s famous intransigence reminds me painfully of my own, unfortunately all too real, cricketing failings,” writes Ralph Hartley. “As a distinctly average, but strangely aesthetically pleasing (if I do say so myself) batsman, I was picked for my county side when I was 12. A few scratchy performances left my position in danger until all doubt was dispelled in my fourth game. I was clean bowled first ball of the match from a no ball. I wafted gracefully at the second ball only to nick it to the keeper, but in grim determination I didn’t walk, and the umpire gave me my second reprieve. Third ball it was all over, trapped LBW, and all I can say is that 12 year old opposition cricketers can be very cruel when your luck is down.”
8th over: Australia 26-0 (Rogers 15, Warner 5)
Mark Wood makes a little pre-lunch cameo, and it’s a maiden. His seven not out earlier means he has still not been dismissed for a single-figure score in his Test batting career, which even after only five innings isn’t bad for a No10. Three not-outs and two dismissals in the teens leave him with an average of 27.5. One more over in this session, and Moeen will bowl it.
7th over: Australia 26-0 (Rogers 15, Warner 5)
Moeen is getting a bit of a workout, as Rogers pushes to deep square leg and the England man, having run from long leg to his right to collect the ball a couple of delieveries earlier, and had that chase in the last over, runs round to his left to cut it off.
6th over: Australia 21-0 (Rogers 10, Warner 5)
Rogers pushes the ball past extra cover and runs three before Moeen and Stokes combine to return the ball. There endeth the meaningful action.
5th over: Australia 18-0 (Rogers 7, Warner 5)
Five overs into Australia’s innings, and Botham and Bumble on Sky are already sufficiently unenthused to launch into a lengthy diversion about fishing. This is not promising. “The tube strike and a distinct lack of Dunkirk spirit around here means I am the only person in the office today,” beams John Meredith. “Obviously the extra peace and quiet means I will be able to be super-productive rather than spending the day gawping at OBO and working through a huge pile of chocolate hob nobs.” I find you normally need to “work from home” in order to achieve such levels of “focus”.
4th over: Australia 16-0 (Rogers 7, Warner 3)
No appeals from Broad this time, just a four from Rogers, past backward point. “Anderson’s innings reminded me of the possibly urban myth of a village cricket match (if an urban myth about a village isn’t an oxy what’s-it?) where fast bowler delivers first ball to a new batsman who lunges forward and gets outside edge which is held by the keeper,” writes Simon Lewis. “Cue massive appeal ….. “Not out” says Mr Umpire. Second ball; batsman goes back, squares up covering all three stumps, misses the ball and is hit on the pads. Cue even louder appeal ….. Mr U just shakes his head. Third ball; batsman takes a mighty but mistimed heave (you might call it), misses again and middle stump cartwheels back. “I nearly had him that time” quips the bowler.”
3rd over: Australia 12-0 (Rogers 3, Warner 3)
Another leg bye, and a last-ball Rogers single to quare leg. “Re Alister Wedderburn’s point, I thought Brazil had already faced Germany in a test match last year,” recalls David Hopkins. “And how disappointed Germany must have been to be reduced to 7-1 after only an hour and a half.”
2nd over: Australia 10-0 (Rogers 2, Warner 3)
A full delivery bounces into Warner’s pad at ankle height, and Broad immediately celebrates. He’s distraught when he turns and sees the umpire shaking his head, and probably even more so when his captain shakes his as well. When it happens again a couple of balls later, with Rogers this time on strike, Cook sides with his bowler, but to no avail. “So, regarding this whole discussion about root being lucky or Australia being at a disadvantage because of it etc etc. I feel we’re missing the point that one moment does not a game make, nothing goes entirely your way during a matach and you have to be able to adapt and carry on,” writes Huw Swanborough. “Australia’s failing on day one wasn’t dropping root, it was the persistent lack of dealing with him after that had happened.” I think that’s a fair summary.
He got a tiny, wicket-saving inside edge, and is not out.
The on-field umpire doesn’t think so. Stuart Broad inevitably does. What’s the truth of it?
1st over: Australia 5-0 (Rogers 1, Warner 0)
In roars Anderson, and his first delivery clips Rogers’ pad and flies away for four leg byes. “It’s 8am in Rio de Janeiro,” writes Alister Wedderburn, “and because i) Brazil is not one of the world’s cricketing hotspots (though they might have a chance of beating Germany if they took it up, I guess) and ii) my internet access here is limited, I have just logged on to the OBO assuming that today was the first morning of play. I write to you in shame and penance; please grant me forgiveness, your hOBOliness.” Snarf!
Back come the players. History alert: Chris Rogers is on the verge of becoming the first man ever to score seven consecutive Test half-centuries (without ever going beyond 100).
“Given Haddin’s less than 100% performance in the field, he must be looking over his shoulder a bit nervously,” writes John Starbuck. “It’s probably his last series (certainly his last Ashes) but teams don’t usually change the keeper on performance during a series. What are the possible replacements like?” I think Peter Nevill, Haddin’s understudy on this tour, looks promising - he certainly has impressive batting stats in domestic cricket - but his international experience is nonexistent.
England will undoubtedly be the happier team now, having dragged themselves from 43-3 to 430 all out, and gone at an average of 4.2 runs an over. Starc ends the innings with five wickets; Johnson, having bowled five deliveries more, ends it with none.
There’s no need to review that one, Starc’s very next delivery taking out middle and leg stumps as Anderson takes a mighty but mistimed heave.
England all out for 430, five short of what they managed here in 2009 (when Australia replied with 674 for 7)
Nope.
Brad Haddin thinks he might have stumped him here, but did his foot ever leave the ground?
101st over: England 429-9 (Wood 7, Anderson 0)
Excellent innings from Moeen, with some lovely shots, a few risks, and some appropriately brisk scoring. And it’s taken England to their highest total against Australia since Sydney in 2011, when they won by an innings. And the scoring doesn’t stop there: Wood gets the ball through the covers for four, and then a Starc bouncer clears batsmanand keeper and flies away for five wides. The over ends with a fine, full inswinger that Wood just about gets a bat to. “It was a few overs ago now, but Mitchell Johnson being applauded and cheered when he reached his century (0/100) was a lovely moment,” writes James Walsh. “He doffed his cap and kissed the badge in appreciation. Mitch is a brilliant bowler and will clearly tear through England at some point, and I think the crowd know that: the nuances of fear, mockery, and ironic celebration in that little exchange reminded me of why I love cricket so much.”
That’s a tough decision for Chris Gaffaney to make. The ball was certainly might close to those gloves, but there’s just nothing conclusive anywhere. He looks at everything available, several times, goes back again, has another look, and then sticks with the on-field decision.
It’s a bit of a half-hearted appeal, and Erasmus isn’t won over, but the ball might just have flicked glove on its way through, so Australia review it.
Moeen goes for another big hit, gets another big edge, and this time it flies straight to Watson at first slip, where his hands stop the ball hitting his face.
100th over: England 419-8 (Moeen 77, Wood 3)
Moeen continues his assault on Lyon, and tries to loft the ball over the long-off boundary. He doesn’t nail it, though, and Mitchell Johnson is not far from the rope ... but the ball clears the Australian, if not the rope, and goes for four. In doing so he breaks his bat, and drinks are taken mid-over while he waits for a replacement. “Dropped catches aren’t luck, any more than getting to feast on bad bowling is luck or getting out incompetent batsmen is luck,” writes Stephen Russell, of that Root let-off yesterday. “All these things are about the skills of cricket. England weren’t lucky Root was dropped: Australia weren’t good enough – across the whole team – to get him out until he had a century.” I refer you to Root’s own opinion:
“A besuited fist-bump is seldom appropriate,” asserts Paul Griffin, as Moeen handsomely drives Starc through cover. “But when celebrating corporate success, e.g. completing a training module, securing a prompt courier, a chestbump (with salchow) is de rigeur. Colleagues who seem reticent to reciprocate are merely exposing their lack of team-player-ness, and need to be sent on a course.”
98th over: England 405-8 (Moeen 65, Wood 1)
Lyon launches into a loud solo appeal after his first ball at Wood hits him in the pad. Everyone else was right: the ball would have missed the stumps by a fair old margin. Moeen later attempts a couple of heaves through midwicket, nailing one for four, and not the other, which bounce twice on its way to mid-on. The over ends with Wood and Haddin both missing a ball, which trundles away for four byes.
Lyon splits the partnership with his first delivery of the day! Broad goes for the drive and bottom-edges straight into Haddin’s gloves!
97th over: England 395-7 (Moeen 60, Broad 18)
Moeen, having started the last two overs with fours, gets this one under way with a three, though a Voges fumble on the boundary very nearly keeps his run going. Broad also gets three, for flicking the ball over the short cover fielders, before Moeen edges hard and high for four - that’s the 50 partnership! “I’m still shuddering after my boss tried to high five me yesterday,” recalls Dave Evans. “I had anticipated a handshake so kind of limply grabbed his forearm just as he retracted his raised palm and scratched his nose instead. Neither of us came out of it well.” That’ll learn him.
96th over: England 385-7 (Moeen 53, Broad 15)
Most handsome shot of the day so far by Moeen, who drives Starc’s first delivery between cover and point for four. And perhaps the ugliest, inside-edging just past his stumps, though it brings the same reward, and brings up his half-century! “Having been almost involuntarily fist bumped (I thought he was going to shake my hand) by a besuited individual, I can confirm the discomfort,” writes Joshua Collis. “This was further amplified when said individual ‘blew up’ the fist bump afterwards – whilst maintaining eye contact with me and seemingly imploring me to do the same. This happened when I lived in America. I moved back to Europe shortly afterwards.” There’s no excuse for an exploding fist-bump under any circumstances, though I suppose it’s the kind of thing that extreme inebriation can force on a man.
95th over: England 376-7 (Moeen 44, Broad 15)
Johnson’s first ball is played fine down the leg side by Moeen for four. Later, Broad hits one that just fails to carry to point, before the last ball, like the first, trundles to the rope, this one chipped past mid-off by Broad. “I have to take issue with Ant Pease (92nd over),” writes Alex Juras. “Speaking as a man who regularly plays table tennis in a suit (thanks to Westminster Council/the London 2012 legacy depositing a table right outside my office) I don’t see anything wrong with this sartorial/sporting crossover. However, I would add a cautionary note: there is simply no dignity in the sight of a man in a suit chasing a table tennis ball along Victoria Embankment.” Crikey. The mind boggles.
94th over: England 367-7 (Moeen 39, Broad 11)
Starc continues, and the ball hits the ground and flicks off the toe ofMoeen’s bat on its way through; the bowler makes a very half-hearted appeal, nobody else joins in, and that’s the end of it. Hotspot seems to prove there was an edge. The next ball is driven past mid-off for four.
93rd over: England 362-7 (Moeen 34, Broad 11)
A whole over of Johnson to Broad, which exposes the uneven bounce, with a couple of bumpers barely reaching waist height and then one roaring into the batsman at the top of his chest, and he uncomfortably fends it into the air. Voges steams in from short leg to take the ball when it lands pretty much on the batsman’s toes - he claims the catch, Erasmus raises his finger, but replays very conclusively show the ball touching the ground on its way into his hands. Another bouncer - no problem with the bounce this time - and a full delivery, edged low and well fielded at slip, follow to complete an eventful maiden.
92nd over: Enngland 362-7 (Moeen 34, Broad 11)
Starc bowls, ankle be damned, and completes the over without so much as a wince. Broad scores a single off the first, leaving Moeen to deal with the remainder of the over a little, not always comfortably - he plays at a wide delivery that’s swinging even wider, just missing it. He’d have felt a damn fool had he got out to that one. “Morning Simon, morning everybody,” writes Ant Pease. Hello! “Whilst it’s not entirely dignified, I’m pro-fistbump for people in suits, as its infinitely less inappropriate than the ultimate sartorial/congratulatory no-no; the besuited high five. Similarly, people wearing suits should never play table tennis, but thankfully this situation arises significantly less frequently.”
91st over: Enngland 361-7 (Moeen 34, Broad 10)
Moeen tries to get out of the way of Johnson’s bouncer, only for it not to bounce as much as he was expecting and hit the bottom of his bat. It lands safely. He then edges the ball along the ground through an empty gully for four, and plays at the last, a lovely delivery which swings just past the bat. “Slightly miffed by the idea that England have been lucky and all runs being scored now are a generous bonus from the over-generous Australians,” moans Nicholas Russell. “If we had dropped one of theirs who had then gone on to score a century, we would be saying that we ballsed up and you can never give an Aussie a second change. So, the way I see it is – it was a tough chance, Haddin blew it and Joe Root is too good to be given second chances.” It’s two sides of the same coin, though, isn’t it?
90th over: Enngland 357-7 (Moeen 30, Broad 10)
Hazelwood’s first two balls bring Moeen a two and a one, bringing Broad onto strike. And he immediately smacks a full, straight delivery down the ground for four. He decides the next ball will be a bouncer and duly ducks out of the way, only for it to arrive at him at waist height and hit him on his ducked-down bonce! Unperturbed, he pulls the last ball away for six, another lovely shot.
Stuart Broad off the mark with a glorious drive through mid-off, brings up England's 350. Next one crashes into helmet, Hazlewood the bowler
89th over: Enngland 344-7 (Moeen 27, Broad 0)
Mitchell Johnson’s first delivery bounces perhaps 10 inches off the ground, and gets nowhere near carrying through to the keeper. Moeen gets a single with a handsome drive that is fielded at extra cover, and Broad survives the one remaining delivery, which moves away from the bat to leave him squared-up and squirming.
And out come the batsmen, with Jerusalem being belted out by some big-lunged warbler. Mitchell Starc also comes out, despite his ankle issues. This is happening.
I’m not sure how I feel about people in suits attempting fist-bumps. On balance I think it probably needs to be deeply ironic, or not attempted at all. This looks to me like a sincere fist-bump.
In the last couple of years I played every Test like it was my last. I knew this might happen some day.
Ryan Harris is talking on Sky currently, and very well he’s coming across too. Clearly gutted at the timing of his retirement, and now working towards a career in coaching.
If your day could improve with the addition of a little statistical goodness, cast an eye over our summary of the last 38 Ashes years:
Some fluffy white clouds about, but nobody seems to be forecasting anything more threatening than occasionally overcast skies today. For now, the ground is bathed in morning sunshine.
England have set Australia 412 to win on the final two days after another absorbing day of cricket in Cardiff
Right, that’s it from us for today. Thanks as ever for all your emails and tweets. And be sure to stick around on site for the reports and reaction from Cardiff. Dan Lucas and Niall McVeigh will be on hand tomorrow to guide you through the fourth day. But for now, cheerio!
Well that was another brilliant day of Test cricket. Fifteen – 15! – wickets have fallen and well over 300 runs scored. England are in a dominant position but they haven’t put Australia in a completely hopeless position, which they would’ve hoped to do. It would be the second highest run chase ever if they were to get them, but they do have two days in which to do it.
That’s stumps. And England have set Australia 412 to win. It would be the highest run chase in Ashes history if they were to do it.
Anderson attempts a slog-sweep … and misses.
70th over: England 289-9 (Anderson 1, Wood 32) Anderson gets off the mark with a little glance to fine leg, and a yorker then knocks Wood from his feet. He actually did extremely well to dig that out – it was a cracker from Johnson.
“In response to - er - me (31st over), I no longer have The Fear, but The Ohmygodpleasedonotletusblowitfromhere is starting to raise its ugly, begrudgingly optimistic head,” reports Ant Pease.
Another big waft from Ali outside off and this time the nick does carry through to Haddin.
69th over: England 288-8 (Ali 15, Wood 32) The crowd have got it turned up to 11 here. There’s a huge appeal as Lyon spins one into Ali’s pads. Clarke opts to review, but Ali looks fairly certain that there was an inside edge. And the replays shows a fairly chunky one. That was the very definition of a may-as-well review. Moeen pinches the strike with a single off the last.
68th over: England 287-8 (Ali 14, Wood 32) Four more! Johnson bangs one in at the body and Wood simply helps it on to fine leg for four. And he shovels the next over midwicket for three more. He races on to 32 – 32! – from 16 balls.
Moeen's going to be batting at No9 at Lord's
67th over: England 278-8 (Ali 13, Wood 25) Wood immediately works Lyon away for a single. There’s always a lot of talk about Ali potentially being the best batsman England have ever had at No8 but they can’t have had too many No10s better than Mark Wood. He looks very organised. And he can play the odd shot too – a couple of balls later he dances down the tracks and heaves Lyon out of the ground and into the river Taff. What a shot. And he follows that up with a reverse sweep! For four! to take the lead to 400!
66th over: England 266-8 (Ali 12, Wood 14) Mitchell Johnson for one final blast before the close. Ali has a waft outside off at the first, feathering a toe end behind that drops well short of Haddin. And he has a much bugger waft at the second, this time making no contact at all. Despite the intent, it’s a maiden.
65th over: England 266-8 (Ali 12, Wood 14) Ali has a dance down the track at Lyon but aborts and ends up bunting away with his pad. And after four dots he drives down the ground for a single, leaving Wood to face just the one ball. Which he duly dispatches to the cover boundary for an all-run four.
64th over: England 261-8 (Ali 11, Wood 10) Wood digs out a full one from Starc and edges just wide of the man at gully for four. But he picks up another boundary from the next in delightful fashion, with a one-legged pull to midwicket.
“I just want to say this can all be traced back to Gary Naylor posting a video of Patsy Kensit just before Ian Bell was out,” writes Geoffrey Smith. “Woman is a jinx, dammit.”
63rd over: England 253-8 (Ali 11, Wood 2) Shot! A slog-sweep from Ali rattles to the fence at midwicket. Lyon struggled to pin down either batsman there.
62nd over: England 246-8 (Ali 5, Wood 1) Mitchell Starc with the chance of six balls at Mark Wood. … but he has to face only three, fending the third away to backward square leg for a single. An Ali inside-edge pinballs between the two pads and spins just wide of the stumps on its exit. And then there’s a play-and-miss from the last.
61st over: England 245-8 (Ali 5, Wood 0) So then. The lead is 367, England are in a hugely dominant position, but Australia still have a sniff. The game should really be out of sight for the tourists and it’s not yet. Not quite. 236-5 has become 245-8.
Broad looks to heave Lyon into the stands at long on but he toe-ends it and Hazlewood, running in, takes a superb diving catch every bit as good as the one that Clarke caught at slip earlier.
60th over: England 244-7 (Ali 4, Broad 4) Just when you thought it was safe …
Now then. Stokes looks to drive Starc through the covers and can only send an inside-edge jagging back into the stumps. The England No6 departs “b Starc” for the second time in the match.
59th over: England 240-6 (Ali 4, Stokes 42) DROPPED! Ali has a big swiping drive at one outside off and nicks it. Haddin can only flick the ball with his gloves, and in doing so he manages to divert the ball over the top of Clarke at slip, who can’t quite react in time. An escape for Ali then. though no real blame attached to either the wicketkeeper or the captain. The lead is 362.
58th over: England 236-5 (Buttler 7, Stokes 42) One of the nice things about this England lower-middle order is that each man is capable of taking the pressure off his batting partner. Buttler has been able to steadily get himself in while Stokes attacks, and Ali will have the freedom to do likewise whichever of this pair he ends up with. Stokes picks up four more by running the ball down to third man off the face of the bat.
57th over: England 231-5 (Buttler 6, Stokes 38) Stokes looks to take the cover off the ball with a brutal slog sweep that whistles to the cow corner boundary at terrific pace. And he follows it up with something a little more orthodox that flies squarer but is still struck well enough to beat the man on the fence. Nine from the over. England are looking to put this one to bed here.
56th over: England 222-5 (Buttler 4, Stokes 30) Starc returns and Stokes welcomes his back with a club down the ground for four.
“It turns out that Steps were eerily prescient 17 years before their time when singing about 5,6,7,8 and it was all a prediction in how brilliant Root, Stokes, Buttler and Moeen are. Such a group of attacking exciting young cricketers. After the first four traditional Test cricketers comes the fun stuff.”
55th over: England 217-5 (Buttler 4, Stokes 26) Buttler has a dance down the track at Lyon but can’t make contact. Pad comes to the rescue, though. Stokes gets the reverse sweep out again, the man at leg slip cuts the ball off and Haddin yelps an appeal. He’s convinced and the umpires send it up to the TV official. It’s not far from the toe but bottom-edged straight into the ground. Not out.
54th over: England 216-5 (Buttler 3, Stokes 26) A lovely spot from Nasser in the Sky Sports commentary box as he notes how Warner and Lyon are looking to prevent Stokes from performing a little idiosyncratic sweep of the bat from the crease at the end of the spinner’s overs. So Stokes waits for an age with bat planted in his ground while Lyon and Warner natter or tie their laces right next to him before eventually sweeping his bat around in a little arc once they depart. Mmmm, mind games.
Buttler gets off the mark with a couple and drives the final ball of Hazlewood’s over into the covers for one.
53rd over: England 212-5 (Buttler 0, Stokes 26) Stokes unfurls the reverse sweep off Lyon, catching it beautifully and picking up four runs for his efforts.
“Interesting to see that the only ‘recent’ run chase on the list is 275-2 in 2013. Note: for 2,” notes Phil West. “With the way that cricket is played these days would anyone bet against the Aussies making 350? I’d want a lead of at least 400, 450 if there is time to swing the bat after the 400 is up. Am I being too cautious?” Nope, England will definitely be looking for a lead of well over 400.
52nd over: England 207-5 (Buttler 0, Stokes 21) Another excellent knock from Root comes to an end then – 194 runs in the match for him, which isn’t a bad start to an Ashes summer.Buttler dead-bats or leaves the rest.
Where are this come from? Hazlewood returns and immediately does for Root. It’s a cracking delivery in fairness, jagging back from outside off and perhaps keeping a touch low. Root cant’ close the gate in time and the ball flicks the bails away.
51st over: England 207-4 (Root 60, Stokes 21) Stokes misses out as Watson offers him a short, wide one that the batsman can only slap straight to point. He doesn’t miss out from the next, though, crashing Watson through the covers for four. Stokes enjoyed that one – barely moved a muscle after the shot, bat hoiked up over his right shoulder. Watson is all over the shop here – he goes too far the other way, swapping full and leggish for short and wide, and finding himself clipped through wide midwicket for four. If the plan is for Watson to bowl dry it’s not really working – his five overs have gone for 23.
50th over: England 199-4 (Root 60, Stokes 13) Two singles from Lyon’s latest.
49th over: England 197-4 (Root 59, Stokes 12) Stokes, definitely showing signs of Wanting To Get On With Things, splashes Watson though the covers for four but it’s the only scoring shot of an otherwise tight over from the Aussie allrounder.
Anyone wondering about highest run chases at this ground, Sky Sports have just provided a first-class list:
48th over: England 193-4 (Root 59, Stokes 8) The England lead is 313 at the start of the over. It’s 315 at the end of the over, courtesy of a couple of singles. Stokes had one slightly wild-eyed swipe at one but failed to make contact – signs that England are looking to step on the gas a touch here.
47th over: England 191-4 (Root 58, Stokes 7) Clarke asks Shane Watson to turn his arm over and keep things tight. And he does just that – one from the over.
46th over: England 190-4 (Root 57, Stokes 7) Lyon returns. Root shovels him away for a couple and nurdles to mid on for a scampered single.
45th over: England 187-4 (Root 54, Stokes 7) Starc – who had Stokes lbw in his last over but failed to appeal (the replays show not even a flicker on the left-armer’s face) – comes in to the Durham man again. A punch down the ground brings him two more, courtesy of some comedy fielding: Hazlewood dives from mid on but can only succeed in diverting the ball past Rogers, who was running across from mid off.
12 - Joe Root has now reached 50 in 12 of his last 18 Test Match innings. Nick.
44th over: England 185-4 (Root 54, Stokes 5) Root goes to his half-century with a tippy-toed back-foot push through the covers for four. I think it’s safe to say that he’s in pretty good nick. Johnson pins him down for a couple of balls, but then offers him a wide one so full and juicy it should come served with a choice of sauces: Root goes onto one knee and drills sweetly through the covers for four more.
43rd over: England 177-4 (Root 46, Stokes 5) A play-and-a-miss from Stokes as Starc beats him outside off, but the batsman responds with a meaty punch straight back past the bowler for four. And Starc responds himself with a beauty that shapes away and beats the edge again and another that jags in a knocks Stokes off his feet. There’s no appeal … but Hawkeye shows that it would’ve been given out on review. But there is a huge appeal for one that pings into Root’s toe on the full. It’s going down. All very strange.
Both these sides are throwing haymakers but only England’s are landing. Their lead edges up to 299.
42nd over: England 173-4 (Root 46, Stokes 1) As you’d expect, there’s a bit for venom from Johnson here. Stokes, though, gets off the mark with a whip through the leg side for single. An inside-edge comes to Root’s rescue as the bowler finds a bit of swing.
41st over: England 170-4 (Root 44, Stokes 0) A maiden from Starc, the last ball of which beats the outside edge of a Root drive.
“Aussie wing of the TMS team coming very close to asking ‘Is it cowardly to pray for rain?’” reports Sarah Morriss. “Brightens an already good day, that.”
40th over: England 170-4 (Root 44, Stokes 0) Quite an odd dismissal that. Bell had looked completely at ease out there, and then seemed to just relax a little too much. Johnson’s delivery moved away a touch, but not the distance by which Bell missed it.
Bell wears one on the upper thigh as Johnson finds a bit of extra zip from this zombie of a pitch. Root then angles a push through backward point for three and Bell inside-edges past Haddin for a couple more. Everything is going England’s way at the moment. And to emphasise the point Bell clubs Johnson is dismissive fashion over the man at extra cover for four more. There’s an element of poking-the-bear here … and Johnson has responded by crashing one into Bell’s stumps. He played all around a straight one there.
39th over: England 160-3 (Root 41, Bell 53) Root drives slightly uppishly through the covers for a couple as Starc strays too full. Then the bowler gets it right, though, with a lovely yorker that Root does well to dig out.
38th over: England 158-3 (Root 39, Bell 53) Mitchell Johnson – current match figures: 34-4-145-0 – continues too, and again finds himself dispatched to the boundary, on this occasion courtesy of a Root glance-off-the-hip. A single, then Bell makes like a tree.
37th over: England 153-3 (Root 34, Bell 53) Starc continues after the break and sends down his third ball in the direction of first slip. He was superb in his Ballance-baiting spell after lunch, but the rhythm hasn’t been there otherwise. Root leans into a cover drive to pick up three. The last, though, does beat Bell’s bat by an inch or so. Starc shakes his head sadly.
Hello again. Well, everything in England’s garden is looking pretty rosy. There’s always a chance of a seven-wickets-for-60-runs collapse and Australia chasing down 330-odd to win, but there’s no doubt who is in the ascendancy at this point. England have their foot on the Aussie throat … will they press down?
And if anyone does have the Fear, remember it’s OK to admit to it …
England lead by 271 runs at the break, the ball – occasionally unpredictable bounce apart – isn’t doing much and won’t be replaced for ages, and they have two batsmen looking pretty well set. Back to Tony Greig’s Desert Island Discs for them:
36th over: England 149-3 (Root 31, Bell 53)
Johnson’s back, and Bell welcomes him by deflecting his first delivery to backward point for four, taking him beyond 50. His last eight innings brought a combined 45 runs, and a return to form would probably be as ominous for Australia as Starc’s ankleknack.
35th over: England 145-3 (Root 31, Bell 49)
Now Starc, author of a brilliant pre-lunch spell, is back. Two-thirds of the way through an up-til-then maiden over he switches to going round the wicket, and Root immediately flicks the ball to the square leg boundary. “Funny how bullish optimism can regress into hopeless depression with a couple of changes in the status quo, isn’t it?” notes Ben Heywood. “One of your best players hopelessly out of nick, one pushed into retirement despite being inked in as an attacking spearhead and a bunch of newbies with a handful of caps between them - sounds a lot like England 2013-14, doesn’t it? All we need now is for Chris Rogers to fly home after realising he can’t cope with Moeen’s beard and the boat starts to look even more similar …”
34th over: England 141-3 (Root 27, Bell 49)
Bell smashes Hazlewood’s first delivery for four, but when he raises his bat to leave the next the ball decides to follow it, bouncing unexpectedly into the handle and thence back into the ground, when it might have gone pretty much anywhere. The next, though, is pushed just past a diving fielder at point, and also goes for four.
33rd over: England 133-3 (Root 27, Bell 41)
Watson bowls, and again two runs from the final delivery is the sum of England’s scoring.
Hazlewood returns after an end-swap, and it’s not exactly action-packed. Bell, though, works the last ball to point for a couple.
31st over: England 129-3 (Root 25, Bell 39)
Shane Watson comes on, and Root gets a thick edge for four, and then another one for another one, the ball flying over grasping hands at slip. England’s lead is now above 250 (251, to be precise). “To summarise the match position, England bowled excellently, have two batsmen well set, rapidly adding to a very healthy lead on a pitch offering increasingly uneven bounce, with seven wickets in hand. Yet still, I have The Fear,” writes Ant Pease. “It would seem that the emotional scars of watching the Ashes throughout the 1990s still haven’t faded.” As Alec Guinness nearly said, the Fear will be with you … always.
30th over: England 121-3 (Root 17, Bell 39)
Nine runs off the last over, 10 off this one. Root whips the ball through midwicket for three, and then Lyon gets one to spin back, fly past Bell’s thigh pad, disappear past an unsighted Haddin and rumble away for four byes. Then, a single later, an inexplicable misfield at cover hands Root a bonus run.
29th over: England 111-3 (Root 13, Bell 37)
Bosh! Bell hits through the covers and runs three. Whoosh! Root cuts late and fine well wide of the only slip for four. And dribble! There are also a couple of singles. “As an Australian, it feels like this series is over,” sniffs Martin Gillam. “Harris retired, Starc injured, Johnson toothless. So much for the fearsome three-pronged attack. Great time to be an English batsman.” That is a remarkably English approach to a couple of disappointing days’ cricket, but if Starc’s injury turns serious it would clearly be a significant blow.
28th over: England 102-3 (Root 8, Bell 33)
Bell doesn’t exactly attack Lyon’s first delivery, but he certainly acts as if he might intend to score a run from it. Anyway, it doesn’t come to much, and Bell takes a much more passive approach to the remainder of the over, but he does run a bye when the last spins all the way to short fine leg.
27th over: England 101-3 (Root 8, Bell 33)
Hazlewood returns, and starts with a bit of a loosener that Root sends rocketing past point for four, and tickling England’s second-innings score into three figures. He sorts out his line after that, and there’s no more scoring.
26th over: England 97-3 (Root 4, Bell 33)
If England have set out to attack Lyon, nobody told Ian Bell about it. He could not have been less interested in scoring runs there. It is, then, a maiden, and even as maidens go it was a particularly maideny one.
25th over: England 97-3 (Root 4, Bell 33)
Another Bell single, and then another grubber flashes past Root about six inches off the ground. There’s been a few of those, starting in the first over of the match, but none yet have grubbed their way towards the stumps.
24th over: England 96-3 (Root 4, Bell 32)
Lyon goes round the wicket to Bell, who eventually works the final delivery to long leg for a single.
23rd over: England 95-3 (Root 4, Bell 31)
Hello again! Johnson continues, refreshed, and Root waves his bat at a ball that zips past with a bit of extra bounce, but gets off the mark next ball, which is angled into his pads and then flicked off them, past square leg for four. It’s a lovely shot, but then he’s back to waving his bat at things – a wide delivery and a bouncer, specifically. Three poor shots in the over, any of which could have been the end of him, but Root continues.
22nd over: England 91-3 (Root 0, Bell 31) A slip, leg slip and short leg are in place as Lyon runs in to bowl to Bell. He really does run in too – it’s one of the longest spinner’s approaches you’re likely to see. Bell looks to use his feet and play aggressively but he’s a little lucky to see one uppish blast through midwicket fly just a yard wide of the diving Chris Rogers. Nothing lucky about the next, though – a thumping slog-sweep that flashes to the rope.
Reminder that Nathan Lyon will probably end up with more Test wickets than Dennis Lillee. #Ashes
21st over: England 83-3 (Root 0, Bell 23) Five wides! Johnson bangs in a half-tracker that leaps up like something on the Centre Court at Wimbledon. Bell aborts a hook, Haddin can’t reach it, five runs. And four more from the next, Bell thunking a drive uppishly wide of extra cover (who was interested for a moment) and away to the rope.
20th over: England 73-3 (Root 0, Bell 18) A wicket maiden from Lyon. This game is rattling along at a fair old pace. The dodgy weather forecast for Sunday might not come into play after all.
What a catch this is from Michael Clarke. What. A. Catch. Lyon finds the edge, as he has been threatening to do for a while, but it’s a thick one and it’s flying to the gap wide of second slip. Clarke, at first, leaps full length to his left and plucks it from the air perhaps four inches from the turf. Sensational.
19th over: England 73-2 (Lyth 37, Bell 18) Bell is tempted into a hook as Johnson bangs one in short – he gets underneath it a touch but it drops well short of Hazlewood down at backward square leg. The single brings up the 50 partnership and it’s taken them only 49 deliveries. A block down the ground from Lyth adds another single.
18th over: England 71-2 (Lyth 36, Bell 17) Lyth looks to chop Lyon away again but this time the ball misses the outside edge by a whisker. Haddin wheels away, agonised. A couple of balls later we get a huge appeal as the bowler lands one on middle and rips it away past the outside of off. Another testing over and another maiden.
17th over: England 71-2 (Lyth 36, Bell 17) Mitchell Johnson returns and zips one past Bell’s outside edge before going for the inswinger. Bell just about digs it out. A maiden.
16th over: England 71-2 (Lyth 36, Bell 17) A bowling change: Nathan Lyon enters the fray and immediately spins one past Lyth’s groping outside edge. There’s certainly a bit of turn out there for him but he drops a little short and finds himself cut for a couple. And from the final ball of the over, Lyth plants his foot and slog-sweeps him into the stands at cow corner for six! What a shot, and what a remarkable shift in momentum we’ve had in the last 20 minutes.
15th over: England 63-2 (Lyth 28, Bell 17) Lyth gets all Twenty20 on Mitchell Starc, banging a straight pull back past the bowler for four, and he makes it back-to-back boundaries with a guide through backward point. That’s four fours, a three, and a dot in the past six balls. The next is guided to square leg for a couple more, then we get another pull, this time down to cow corner, for three. England have gone from 27-2 to 63-2 in the space of three overs.
“Further to Michael Laycock’s interesting question, I’d have to throw Dermot Reeve’s name into the hat for his impressions alone,” writes Adam Horridge. “At the same time I’d look to ensure Jack Russell wasn’t part of the tribe as I imagine he’d have a high chance of going all Lord of the Flies quite early on.”
14th over: England 50-2 (Lyth 15, Bell 17) A tickle off the thigh pad adds four more to the tally, Hazlewood straying to leg just a touch. And four more from the next, this time Lyth pouncing on a length ball outside off and driving sweetly through the covers. This has been a great contest since lunch – two overs with the bowlers swarming all over England, two overs with the batsmen on top. From the last ball of the over Bell is again on the drive for four more! He rattles on to 17 from 13 balls and England to 50. Fifteen from the over.
13th over: England 35-2 (Lyth 8, Bell 13) Better Belly! Starc overpitches and Bell unfurls a 2013-vintage cover drive, timing it with the precision of a Swiss watch. And he repeats the trick from the final ball of the over, this time a little squarer and on-the-up. Starc is clearly struggling with that ankle injury and this over is the first time we’ve seen a hint of it in his bowling.
12th over: England 27-2 (Lyth 8, Bell 5) Bell leaves and leaves again outside off before being squared up by a straighter one from Hazlewood. And he gets off the mark in slightly streaky fashion, a thick outside edge rolling low through gully and away for four. An inside edge skitters to backward square leg for a single. Bell hasn’t middled one yet, but he’s already surpassed his first innings effort.
“List of cricketers to be with on an isolated island with in alphabetical not quantitative order : Beer, Butcher, Cook, Gunn, Lamb, Nurse, Spearman, Wood,” suggests Raymond Reardon.
11th over: England 22-2 (Lyth 8, Bell 0) Another huge appeal as Starc shapes one past the outside edge of Lyth’s bat. There was a definite noise, but it might have been bat on pad or ball on pad. This time Clarke opts against the review. A maiden from Starc. Australia have begun this session with their collective dander very much up.
“Re: deserti island cricketers. Merv Hughes if you need to capture any animals bare-handed,” suggests Ben Collier.
10th over: England 22-2 (Lyth 8, Bell 0) Not a great shot from Ballance. But that was an over of real hostility from young Hazlewood. In the end the wicket came of the glove of the England No3.
Josh Hazlewood continues after the lunch break. And from the first ball we have a huge appeal from the bowler as Lyth is whupped on the pad. Dharmasena shakes his head, but Hazlewood is convinced and they opt for a review. It pitched on middle-and-leg and swung to leg … but the impact both with pad and stumps is umpire’s call. Lyth is being troubled by Hazlewood though and he’s grateful to escape to the non-striker’s end with a single. But Ballance has gone! It was short, throat high, but Ballance fended at it and feathered an edge through to the keeper.
Adam Lyth and Gary Ballance re-emerge. Play imminent.
A few castaway candidates:
“Hi, I’d have to think a while on all eight but the one to keep has to be Michael Holding - the voice alone would soothe the long lonely days” – Paul Ward.
Hello all. First of all, an email:
“All your talk of cricketing castaways got me thinking, if you were stuck on a desert island, which 8 cricketers would you want to be trapped with?” wonders Michael Laycock. “And then, if a wave hit and washed away 7 of them, which would you most want to keep. Obviously your book in this scenario is the Wisdon Almanac and your luxury items would be bat, ball, stumps and bails (heavy ones in case of blustery conditions).”
That is lunch. England lead by 143, after an excellent morning’s cricket. Really enjoyable stuff, and that last over was a beautiful way to end it. Forget about his ankle – you’d push him on in a wheelbarrow if he’s going to bowl like that. John Ashdown will be here for the first hour or so of post-prandial action – all emails to john.ashdown@theguardian.com for the time being. Thanks for keeping me company this morning, it’s been lovely.
9th over: England 21-1 (Lyth 7, Ballance 0)
Starc’s opening delivery to Ballance – the batsman’s first of the day – is an absolute stonker, angled into his legs and then moving away, just beating the bat. That’s a gorgeous bit of bowling. Phwoar. And then he does it again! Only sexier! An over illuminated by two deliveries of the absolute highest order, and a maiden. “Afternoon Simon, afternoon everyone,” writes Sarah Morriss. “I’ve been busy this morning – new job, still keen and trying to impress. Just thought I’d check the score. Involuntary whoop, turns out the boss is a cricket fan and is going to the local Ashes bout later in the summer. Great to have an understanding boss, gutted to know he’s more organised than I am and managed to snag tickets. Still, TMS in the office looks like a go-er.” Happy days.
8th over: England 21-1 (Lyth 7, Ballance 0)
An edge from Lyth, but it doesn’t carry to the slips, and flies wide of them anyway for four. A couple of balls later Hazlewood hits the same batsman in the top of the pads and launches a loud but lonely appeal. The umpire shakes his head, and Hawk-Eye shows the ball bouncing over leg stumps by perhaps a millimetre or two. Time for one more over before lunch.
7th over: England 17-1 (Lyth 3, Ballance 0)
Starc bowls, in the manner of someone pretending to be fit and not quite pulling it off. His run-up looks fluent enough, but his follow-through suddenly includes a hop and a limp. With the second Test starting at Lord’s on Thursday, there’s not a lot of recovery time for anyone carrying niggles. Bowling him at all is a risk, but Cook’s wicket is a handsome reward.
A breakthrough! Cook drives straight to point, where Lyon takes a low catch at his ankles!
6th over: England 15-0 (Lyth 3, Cook 12)
A maiden from Hazlewood to Lyth. Australia are yet to get anything like the swing that England managed with their new ball this morning. “Damian Walsh, stranded in Paris with nowhere to watch the Ashes, should proceed at once to the British Embassy in the Rue du Faubourg Saint-Honoré in the 8th Arrondisement,” writes George Davidson. “They are set up to deal with exactly this sort of emergency and will be delighted to help.” That’s very helpful advice. Other suggestions, from Richard Bates: Corcoran’s Irish pub, rue st andré des arts, or the Cork and Cavan by the Canal St Martin, while Simon Blackwell proposes The Cricketer on 41 Rue des Mathurins, and Jonathan Laidler The Bowler on Rue d’Artois in the 8th.
5th over: England 15-0 (Lyth 3, Cook 12)
Lyth, trying to cut and mistiming the shot, scoops the ball into the air, not too far from Rogers, the fielder at cover. Fortunately he doesn’t see it, and it loops over his head and drops to safety. This, meanwhile, is what the end of Australia’s innings sounded like. For those without audio: some cheering, and then lots of clapping.
4th over: England 14-0 (Lyth 2, Cook 12)
Lyth, presumably rather desperate for a half-decent score, deals rather uncomfortably with Hazlewood’s second over, before getting a single off the last. “Feeling very hot here in the stands, and regretting the clothing choice of jeans,” writes Rob Wright, who is actually in Cardiff. “I can’t mess up my next important decision: when is the optimum time to start drinking to maximise daytime enjoyment without sacrificing one’s evening stamina? Or am I just over-thinking the whole thing?” Well that all depends on what you’re drinking, and how quickly you’re going to drink it, but I think in the circumstances you’ve done well to last until 12.40 and should probably reward yourself with a beverage.
3rd over: England 13-0 (Lyth 1, Cook 12)
Cook, having got two to mid-off, hits a very hitable delivery through midwicket for four. “I think we’re all being a bit rude about Freddie’s music and reading choices, especially the comment about his book choice,” writes Sumit Rahman. “After all he was probably rather different as a teenager – wasn’t he a talented, county standard chess player when he was at school? [yes – played for Lancashire – ed] Maybe his music tastes are MOR because he didn’t have time to fit gigs and radio inbetween nets and studying the Nimzo-Indian opening.” They’re also not necessarily his favourite songs ever, but songs that remind him of particular events or periods in his life that would be interesting to talk about on the radio. He comes across very well – readers in the UK can listen to it here, and there’s a podcast out there somewhere.
Ashes Tests since WW1, first-innings deficit of 100+: Won 4; Drawn 37; Lost 107.
2nd over: England 5-0 (Lyth 1, Cook 4)
Hazlewood bowls the second over, with Starc now on the field, and Cook takes a single from the last. Here’s a suggestion for Parisian cricketophiles:
@Simon_Burnton Damian Walsh [12:21] could try the Auld Alliance in St Paul or Patricks on Rue de Montreuil in the 11th. Not guaranteed mind
@Simon_Burnton For Damian Walsh: next Eurostar leaves Gare du Nord at 1313; should get back to London in time for English batting collapse.
1st over: England 4-0 (Lyth 1, Cook 3)
Starc, who has been bothered by some form of ankle-knack, is not on the field. He opened the bowling in England’s first innings, so Johnson does the honours this time round, and Lyth gets off the mark first ball, which is fumbled at point, and Cook follows suit off the last, which he pushes to third man. “Mike Brearley once came to a Purcell Room concert in which some colleagues and I were performing Stravinsky’s Soldier’s Tale Suite as well as some contemporary British music,” recalls Leo Phillips. “He came backstage after and said how much he’d enjoyed it – pretty good music cred, by my reckoning!”
If Starc's injury is serious, then Australia really do have problems
Out come England’s openers. This morning has been pretty depressing for Australians – unless they’re bowlers. Now it’s their turn …
Damian Walsh is in Paris and would like to watch the cricket. Does anyone know where he should go?
“Pretty much the perfect morning for England,” surmises Gower. “Could not have gone any better.” That just about covers it. Excellent bowling this morning from Broad, Anderson and Wood, and fielding to match.
A thick edge from Starc, an excellent catch from Root at second slip, diving to his left, and Australia’s innings is over!
84th over: Australia 308-9 (Starc 2, Hazlewood 0)
Starc outside-edges his first delivery, which squirms away for a couple. Australia trail by 122 runs. “As an Ozman in Englishland, I find it much the same as Tony [80th over] - I mentioned yesterday Boycott’s undignified crowing over Haddin’s drop,” writes Eamonn Maloney. “Depends what your ears want to hear, dunnit?”
Johnson clips the ball off the middle of his bat to cover and sets off on his first run. Lovely stroke. Then he spots the fielder standing directly in its path, and stops running.
83rd over: Australia 304-8 (Johnson 12, Starc 0)
Another single from Johnson brings up Australia’s 300, and earns a surprisingly fulsome round of applause from the Cardiff crowd. Then Haddin edges two Anderson outswingers – the first zips along the ground, past the three slips and to a deserted third man boundary; the second proves to be his last. The players take drinks, after as good an hour’s bowling as England have produced for a while. “Mike Brearley hasn’t been mentioned yet,” writes Tom Walker of cricketing Desert Island Discs castaways. “His suitably cerebral list from the 70s includes Bach’s Art of Fugue and one of the Late Beethoven String quartets, which apparently he hummed to himself whilst fielding in the slips and batting.”
Anderson’s excellent new-ball onslaught gets its reward – Haddin nibbles at an outswinger, and Buttler takes a good low catch!
82nd over: Australia 299-7 (Haddin 18, Johnson 11)
Good stuff from Broad as well, with Johnson’s single off his first ball the only scoring. The penultimate ball is another beauty, straightening and just beating Haddin’s bat. Clearly Haddin didn’t like it, because he’s now changing his bat. “It was not so much Flintoff’s MOR musical choices, but his book choice – To Kill a Mockingbird,” writes Toby Alderson-Smith. “You sort of felt it might have been the only novel he’s read.” He did say he’d read it six or seven times though – if you’re only going to read one book, at least read it frequently.
81st over: Australia 298-7 (Haddin 18, Johnson 10)
Movement! Lots of it! And wildly unpredictable bounce! Oof, it looks a horrible time to be a batsman. One delivery hardly bounces at all, the next swings into and past Haddin, disappears past Buttler and rolls away for four byes, and after that comes the outswinger, totally squaring him up. Beautiful, horrible bowling, that.
The new ball is taken, and handed straight to Anderson …
80th over: Australia 292-7 (Haddin 16, Johnson 10)
Stokes continues, and Haddin edges the first ball of the over wide of the slips and safely away for four. There’s also a wild swing at a ball, that totally spurious review, and a vicious final delivery that jags back into Johnson. “As an Englishman in Oz, I was looking forward to the usual less-than-entirety-objective approach of the Australian commentary team this year, only to discover that they’ve recruited Vaughany and Bumble, and it’s all a little bit lovey,” writes Tony Brennan. “Still some good moments, though, such as Mark Taylor calling ‘great take by Haddin’ on the ball he dropped Root, and this morning when Ian Healy said that ‘if Watson is still batting at tea Australia will have a first innings lead’ two minutes before he was out. Can’t leave the screen for a minute.”
There wasn’t much in it, but Hawk-Eye shows that the ball would have missed leg stump. To nobody’s surprise whatsoever.
Nobody really thinks so, but England are about to get their review-slate wiped clean, so might as well use one up here as lose it in a few minutes’ time.
79th over: Australia 287-7 (Haddin 12, Johnson 10)
The new ball is just around a corner, so the old one is thrown to Moeen Ali, who bowls five dots at Johnson before the batsman hits high over mid-on for four, a nice shot. “Very harsh from Ross Parker (over 74),” agrees Stephen Connor. “Surely Freddie is merely extending the tradition of professional sportspeople with, at best, inoffensive music tastes. Presumably explained by a childhood spent developing as a cricketer rather than developing deliberately obscure music tastes. Are there many examples of sports people with impeccable muso credentials? Pat Nevin springs to mind, not much else.” Nevin once demanded that he be substituted during a pre-season friendly at Chelsea so he could go and see the Cocteau Twins in concert.
78th over: Australia 283-7 (Haddin 12, Johnson 6)
Stokes bowls, and Haddin inside-edges just past his stumps for four. Haddin turns round to give the bowler a massive grin, and then pushes the next wide of extra cover for four more, and gets a thick edge on the one after that, which flies to the backward point boundary. “While agreeing with Ross Parker’s point about Freddie’s anodyne choices, he always struck me as someone not too bothered about the contemporary music scene,” writes John Starbuck. “Not everyone is, you know, though it’s hard to believe when one is surrounded by Guardian readers.”
77th over: Australia 271-7 (Haddin 0, Johnson 6)
A run! An actual run! TWO RUNS! TWO! FOUR RUNS! Johnson goes totally run-crazy here, working Wood’s fourth delivery to square leg for a couple, and then pushing the next past mid-off and to the boundary. It’s a runvalanche. “It is a reassuring truth that every Australian side to feature Brad Haddin has also had Brad in,” quips Tom Bowtell.
76th over: Australia 265-7 (Haddin 0, Johnson 0)
This really is a remarkable spell of disciplined, aggressive bowling from Broad and Wood. Another maiden – the last 29 deliveries have been dots or wickets. “I seem to remember Roy Plomley, the sainted originator of Desert Island Discs, in his autobiography says something like how he hated having cricketers on because they always chose songs such as Waltzing Matilda and had no musical taste,” writes Steve Bates. “I didn’t read the book after seeing that and certainly don’t have a copy (Plomley’s long dead) but that clearly didn’t apply to Freddie Flintoff’s excellent choices this morning. Dunno what Plomley had against cricket.”
75th over: Australia 265-7 (Lyon 6, Haddin 0)
And that’s the last ball of the over. Another maiden. So far this morning: five overs, one run, two wickets, and lots of smiling Englishmen.
Lyon’s gone, and there’s no reviewing that one! A full delivery, a low bounce, a bat swishing across the line that fails to make contact, and that is as plumb as they come!
74th over: Australia 265-6 (Lyon 6, Haddin 0)
Another maiden, with a strangled lbw cry curtailed by the realisation that Haddin had inside-edged it into his pads. “Everyone’s a critic, but those are very ‘vanilla’ picks from Freddie,” criticises Ross Parker. “Did he just look at the back of a compilation album on the morning of the show? ‘Best MOR records to not alienate you from potential future endorsements’?” I think that’s an unusually cynical reading of what is a perhaps unexciting but undoubtedly personally meaningful selection of songs. Stat alert:
Wood continues, and Lyon looks pretty uncomfortable about it. Another maiden: so far this morning we’ve had three overs, one wicket and one run. “I’m disappointed to have missed Flintoff’s appearance this morning,” writes Adam Horridge. “Quite brave of him really given I imagine talk of desert islands could trigger pedalo based flashbacks. Unless he signed up for it thinking it was dessert based, of course.”
72nd over: Australia 265-6 (Lyon 6, Haddin 0)
Broad’s first delivery flies into Watson’s leg, and the entire England team rises in an act of communal ludicrous optimism – the ball missed the pad entirely, hitting him in the upper leg somewhere, and would have gone above the stumps if only it wasn’t going wide of them. His fourth is pretty much a repeat, only a bit lower. And then the last trickles off Haddin’s bat, drops straight down and rolls just past the stumps. Wicket maiden.
Hawk-Eye shows that the ball would have clipped the very top of the very outside edge of leg stump. Just. Off he goes!
Watson utterly stunned, as he is every time, to be given out. It's as though nobody ever told him such a thing was possible
Marais Erasmus took a long time to raise his finger, which always encourages an appeal.
England think so, the umpire thinks so, the batsman wants them to check, if they’d be so kind.
71st over: Australia 265-5 (Watson 30, Lyon 6)
Mark Wood gets day three under way, under glorious powder-blue skies, and Watson scores a single. “Of course The Sun Has Got His Hat on was the name of Randall’s autobiography,” points out James Crawford. “My favourite Randall story is that on a tour of Sri Lanka he spent most of his time waiting to bat reading a copy of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. When he was asked why it was taking him so long to get through the book he replied ‘I’m not really reading it, just looking at the words.’”
Anyway, out come the players! I wonder which dressing room might be echoing to the sound of this classic Tony Greig Desert Island Discs selection this evening?
“Rather unfair on Aggers as he was a cricketer of some skill winning 3 caps for England, which is 3 more than any of the other broadcasters including you and now me in my minute way,” writes Saffron Rainey. Fair point, Saffron, but it wasn’t his three mid-80s Test caps that earned him a Desert Island Discs invite in 2013.
Thanks for this, Bob. “I think it’s a lovely record,” says Trueman. I want to hear the rest of it, dammit.
“Wasn’t Dickie Bird on it once?” asks Chris Boylan. “Seem to remember he also liked his Romance-era composers.” He was! He doesn’t make the BBC’s list of cricketing castaways, though. His show was a game of two halves, what with him picking Strauss, Elgar and Puccini, and then Nat King Cole, Julio Iglesias, Shirley Bassey and Barbra Streisand.
I have to say, I wouldn’t want to be on Derek Randall’s desert island. That Australian 1972 song would entertain me for a while, it’s true, but though I can see why he chose it, Demis Roussos would be a deal-breaker (and then there’s Rod Stewart, Perry Como and The Sun Has Got His Hat On by the BBC Dance Orchestra).
Fred Trueman’s selections include a song called “Tables and Chairs” by Yorkshire County Cricket Club. Can anyone shed any light on this lost classic?
“Do you have a full list of what Flintoff chose? Was it just classic Rat Pack crooners – Sinatra, Martin, Westlife?” asks Kevin Wilson. Not at all, Kevin. In addition to Elvis, there was Judy Garland’s Over the Rainbow, Elton John’s Rocket Man, Johnny Cash’s Ring of Fire, Better Together by Jack Johnson, Roll With It by Oasis, Sinatra’s Fly Me to the Moon and New Kid in Town by the Eagles, a beautifully literal choice to remember the birth of his first child.
Correction: I’ve found a proper list of Desert Island cricketers, and Ian Botham, Imran Khan, Fred Trueman, Derek Randall, Tony Greig and Jim Laker are all on it. This, from Randall’s selection in 1977, is a highlight:
2015 Ashes series link: that Trini Lopez classic, a No4 smash in 1963, includes, of course, mention of “the hammer of justice”.
Interesting, incidentally, that if you go back through the Desert Island Discs archive, the cricket-related castaways have almost all been commentators rather than actual sportsmen: Jonathan Agnew, Henry Blofeld, John Arlott and Brian Johnston have all had a go, but of all cricketers in history before Flintoff only Geoff Boycott had got the call, back in 1971. This was on his list (as well as, improbably, Rachmaninov and Tchaikovsky):
Hello world!
So, England very much a nose in front at this stage, though the bookies make the draw the most likely result. I’ve been listening to Andrew Flintoff on popular UK radio show Desert Island Discs on the way to work – I think that having chosen an Elvis track as his most very important record in the whole world he’d approve of this comedy-fans-arriving-at-the-ground-picture-of-the-day:
Simon will be here shortly. In the meantime, here’s what Moeen Ali had to say about the state of the match after Thursday’s play:
Moeen Ali believes England are now in pole position in the first Ashes Test after a late strike by Ben Stokes three overs from the close helped reduce Australia to 264 for five on the second day in Cardiff.
The all-rounder’s removal of Adam Voges for 31 means the tourists head into day three still trailing by 166 runs. Moeen had been the best bowler, claiming the key wickets of the world No1 batsman, Steve Smith, for 33 and the Australia captain, Michael Clarke, on 31 for figures of two for 67, but was keen to credit his team-mate.
Stuart Broad and Moeen Ali took three wickets each as England sealed the first Test and a 1-0 series lead as Australia collapsed from 97-2 to 122-6 in the crucial afternoon session in Cardiff
That’s about it from a triumphant Cardiff, as England take a 1-0 series lead. Having dished out sufficient praise to Joe Root, I’ll close by pointing out that, for a patchwork team of old-timers and young bucks, this Ashes side has gelled at remarkable speed – this was a team victory in every respect.
As both Clarke and Cook mentioned, England were dominant in all three areas. While Moeen proved his worth and Mark Wood slotted effortlessly into the attack, it’s hard to find a player in the XI that didn’t contribute, whether Adam Lyth with two late catches, or Ballance and Bell fighting poor form to notch half-centuries. Alastair Cook may not have shone with the bat, but his captaincy was almost as flawless as the result.
Now here’s Alastair Cook, who is greeted by a roar from the Cardiff contigent. I fear for the hostelries of St. Mary’s Street this evening, I really do. “This Test match couldn’t have gone any better” says Cook, and singles out Root’s first-innings knock as vital. There’s also due praise for England’s bowling, and fielding, on a slow, awkward pitch.
The man of the match is announced, and – surprise! – it’s Joe Root. Fully deserved – the only player to score a century, and it was a knock that guided England from 43-3 to 280-5. A penny for Brad Haddin’s thoughts, though.
Presentations and post-match interviews underway now, as the England players look a little dazed up in the pavilion. “We were outplayed in all three facets of the game” straight-bats Michael Clarke, before adding that they’ll be prepared for the second Test. You can count on that.
“We tried to play our natural game” says Clarke, when asked if Australia could have slowed things down a touch. He also confirms that Mitchell Starc may well feature at Lord’s, despite an ankle injury.
A tweet from a full half hour ago:
@niallmcveigh In Split airport, no power on phone and laptop dying. Anyone sitting near a power socket they don't need? #TheAshes2015
We all saw this coming, right? The 1-0 scoreline is a big enough fillip for England after the recent months of soul-searching, but in truth, it doesn’t tell half the story. England won each of the four days played to differing degrees, and it added up to a scoreline so emphatic that the fifth day wasn’t required. This series is, of course, far from over, but it’s hard to see how England could have started any better.
Moeen gets shot of Hazlewood, tossing the ball up and forcing Hazlewood into a big swing. It’s up in the air, and who else should be right underneath it but Joe Root, out at long-off. Hazlewood is out, c Root b Ali, for 14. England win?! England win!
70th over: Australia 242-9 (Hazlewood 14, Lyon 0) With those two wickets, Root has probably put himself over the top in the man-of-the-match stakes. He almost snaffles a third to seal the win, appealing for lbw on Lyon, but the ball was pitching outside off. A wicket maiden for Root.
There goes the century for Johnson, and there goes the match for Australia. Johnson loses his cool, heaving at a full delivery and clipping it tamely through to Lyth. One to go.
69th over: Australia 242-8 (Johnson 77, Hazlewood 14) Given his position in the order and the state of play, this has been an assured start from Hazlewood, as he fends off a few probing Moeen deliveries, before lobbing the ball over the infield for four.
68th over: Australia 237-8 (Johnson 76, Hazlewood 10) Root continues and almost catches Hazlewood out with a ball that pitches outside off, then spits outrageously past the outside edge. Otherwise, a steady over from the tail-enders. This really, actually does feel like a matter of time now.
67th over: Australia 232-8 (Johnson 73, Hazlewood 8) A decent start for Hazlewood, milking eight runs from the over, including a beautifully timed flick through midwicket. The Australian middle order must be a tad sheepish up in the pavilion.
“There’ll be a lot of bombast about a whitewash now. Absurd; the long-term forecast suggests to much rain for that...” brays Paul Griffin.
66th over: Australia 223-8 (Johnson 70, Hazlewood 0) Hazlewood sees out the over. Two more wickets for England. Johnson may now go all-out for a century; he’d be the first Australian to do so from No8, in the fourth innings of a Test match. Cold comfort, perhaps.
Root returns, and will get a go at Starc after Johnson nicks a single... and second ball, he’s got him! It’s a team effort, with the part-time bowler getting an outside edge that’s not easy to reel in. Cook parries it in the air, and Adam Lyth takes the catch on the rebound. That could have easily got away – very well fielded.
65th over: Australia 222-7 (Johnson 71, Starc 17) Moeen almost gets his man, pulling back as Johnson comes down the pitch. The ball loops in the air but drops short of point. Just one from the over, Johnson with a leading edge that rolls to long–off.
“According to TMS’s Graeme Swann the Barmy Army are developing Watto’s own theme song, based on ‘Can’t take my eyes off you’ which includes ‘LB, LB, LBW’ as part of the chorus” whispers John Starbuck. If they’re dead set on those lyrics, I think this funky little tune would work better:
64th over: Australia 221-7 (Johnson 70, Starc 17) Root into the attack as England go for a double helping of spin. It doesn’t work spectacularly well, with Johnson sending the first two deliveries back down the ground for four each. Stokes at mid-off drops deeper – but he won’t be getting near that one, Johnson finding the stands over long-on with a big heave. Four, four, six so far – and Ali has to move sharpish from deep square to stop another boundary. Starc blocks to put Johnson back on strike. An expensive over for Root, and Australia now need less than 200, but no need to panic. Right, England fans?
63rd over: Australia 204-7 (Johnson 53, Starc 17) Mid on and mid off hovering with intent for England, with Johnson determined to go for his shots. Still 18 overs to the second new ball, but there will be a change here; Johnson has leathered the ball out of shape. Big shout as Ali finds Starc’s pad, but it looked outside the line. England decide to leave it alone. Just a leg bye from the over.
62nd over: Australia 203-7 (Johnson 53, Starc 17) Johnson brings up his half-century with another sweetly timed cover drive, doing so in 70 balls. Well played from Johnson, who has kept his composure when all around him were losing theirs. A single, pushed to point, mean he’s Australia’s highest scorer of this innings. Well done him, not so well done Australia.
61st over: Australia 197-7 (Johnson 48, Starc 16) Moeen returns, but Johnson keeps the scoreboard ticking over with another thundering four, thumped straight down the ground. Johnson moves within sight of his half-century.
“This isn’t going to be a repeat of 2013? With the Mitchells bashing out centuries and getting the pulses racing as Anderson wipes himself out for the remainder of the series by bowling himself into the ground?” frets Tom van der Gucht. It’s a little early for that sort of talk, Tom. Isn’t it?
60th over: Australia 192-7 (Johnson 44, Starc 15) Now Watson has taken the mantle of England fans’ figure of fun, Mitchell Johnson can enjoy himself with the bat. He does so here with a nice, early take to pull Broad through midwicket for another four. Fully loosened up, he takes an almighty swing at a full ball, misses completely, and sees the ball zip just high and wide of his stumps.
A fine afternoon’s work from Simon Land, who reckons Shane Watson is the Hodor of cricket:
59th over: Australia 186-7 (Johnson 38, Starc 15) Wood finds a fuller ball to test Starc, and it’s edged towards the slips... but it doesn’t carry, instead sending the fielders skittering to the ground as it dribbles away for four. Wood oversteps his mark going for a yorker which Starc digs out for another couple.
58th over: Australia 179-7 (Johnson 38, Starc 9) Broad to Johnson, who throws a few extravagant shapes as he leaves and blocks as required. Broad plumps for a fuller ball, and Johnson drives smartly through the covers.
57th over: Australia 175-7 (Johnson 34, Starc 9) Shot! Starc stays on strike and sends Wood packing with a drilled off drive for four, a fine stroke met with virtual silence. That was a rare fuller ball from Wood, and he reverts to the shorter stuff. No more runs from the over.
56th over: Australia 171-7 (Johnson 34, Starc 5) Four slips and a gully as Stuart Broad attempts to dislodge Mitchell Starc. He gets close with an angled delivery, that misses Starc’s bat by a hair’s breadth. Broad persists with his line of enquiry, but Starc nicks a single wide of mid on to retain the strike.
55th over: Australia 170-7 (Johnson 34, Starc 4) It’s the Mitchells at the crease to face Mark Wood, and Johnson edges the first ball for four, barely registering a cheer from the stands. He’s at it again soon after, punching an off-drive to the boundary. Johnson becomes Australia’s second-highest scorer in this innings, despite three dot balls to finish the over.
The sun is out, and the Barmy Army are buoyant. The Australian fans, meanwhile, are let down and hanging around...
Tony Cowards has spied Shane Watson prone on the deck, and has given him a boot to the ribs:
Thanks Dan. Well, if this time last week, you had offered Alastair Cook this situation at tea on the fourth day, I’d imagine he would have ripped your arm clean from your shoulder, before hauling off the other one for good measure. Before apologising profusely for such poor form.
England need three wickets to win the first Test of this Ashes series. Altogether now...
That was bloody brilliant, from an England perspective. If you’re comedy hero Shane Watson, it was possibly the last time you take the field in a Test match given Mitchell Marsh’s form.
England are almost certainly going to win this Test in the final session. Niall is returning for the glory shift after the break. In the unlikely event Australia survive the day, I’ll see you tomorrow, but don’t count on it.
54th over: Australia 162-7 (Johnson 26, Starc 4) This should be the last over before tea; Ali bowling to Johnson. Mitch Sr. smears the second ball past the diving man at extra cover for three. Two slips, short cover, silly mid off, leg slip, silly mid on and short leg in place for Starc, who rocks back and misses a cut at the final ball, but survives.
“Pull me out of the air crash, pull me out of the lake. Cos these are our superheroes. We are standing on the edge,” writes Matt Dony, continuing the 50th over theme. Glad someone got it.
53rd over: Australia 159-7 (Johnson 23, Starc 4) This should be fun: you’d expect England’s express pace bowler to give Johnson a bit of a working over here, and you’d expect Johnson to start swinging. He hooks one round the corner and the batsmen run well to get back for the second. The next ball he plays the same shot, but can only get one, exposing the number 10 – surely this has to be full and straight? Four slips, a gully, a short leg and I think there might be a leg slip in there too. Ooh Starc wafts and misses at a full one outside off, then flicks at the next one and gets a leading edge up, over Ali at leg slip and away for four.
52nd over: Australia 152-7 (Johnson 20, Starc 0) With a new batsman at the crease, Cook turns back to Ali. He gets a nice bit of drift into Johnson, who toe-ends it into his boot. The final ball is turned just wide of short leg for a single, which keeps Starc away from Wood.
51st over: Australia 151-7 (Johnson 19, Starc 0) Wood is going to have a burst, replacing Ali. He’s provided excellent support to Broad and Anderson in his brief Test career to date, playing the Simon Jones role to their Harmison/Flintoff, in a way. He bowls a few wide of off, then straightens his line, goes a bit fuller and gets the most predictable wicket imaginable, complete with wasted Watto review. Five slips for Starc.
The entire press box just erupted with cheers... #Ashes2015
Watson plays all round it and the ball is clattering into leg stump. That’s 29 LBWs for him in Tests.
HA HA HA HA HA! Given out on field...
50th over: Australia 151-6 (Johnson 19, Watson 19) A heart that’s full up like a landfill, a job that slowly kills you, bruises that won’t heal.
You look so tired, unhappy, bring down the government, they don’t, they don’t speak for us.
49th over: Australia 150-6 (Johnson 19, Watson 18) Watson charges down the wicket to Ali and just about squirts it out to square leg for a single. Johnson then steps and heaves it just over Stokes at mid on, the ball speeding away from the chasing fielder to the boundary. 150’s up, for what it’s worth.
What’s happened here? A real England fan would never be so positive, so confident as to write this! Where’s the fear, guys?
@DanLucas86 Am I alone in thinking this is all a bit too easy? Can we have New Zealand back so as to have an opposition worth playing?
48th over: Australia 145-6 (Johnson 15, Watson 17) Neither of these two looks especially troubled, though you’d expect England to wrap this up today still. They could do with doing so, with tomorrow’s weather forecast looking iffy.
England cannily hastening Watson's progress to 30. Cook having a superb game.
47th over: Australia 145-6 (Johnson 15, Watson 17) Johnson nudges behind square on the leg side for the only run of the over. The final ball gets a leading edge, but it goes straight to ground. Perhaps a touch of extra bounce on that one from Ali.
46th over: Australia 144-6 (Johnson 14, Watson 17) Anderson goes for a rest and Ben Stokes comes into the attack. Before that though, MIRTH! Gower and Atherton spot a man with the commentary earpiece thing dozing in the seats and shouts at him to wake up. Eventually the man stirs. Watson drops one to mid on and takes a single, then Johnson swings hard and misses, the ball ricocheting off his pocket and going to gully on the bounce. The fourth ball brings a single to long leg, then Watson smites an excellent pull through square for four off the fifth. Two runs from the final ball makes a good over for the Aussies.
45th over: Australia 136-6 (Johnson 13, Watson 10) That ball that didn’t turn in Ali’s last over might actually have been the attempted doosra. In this over, runs! Six of ‘em as, the ball after getting beaten by the turn, Johnson slog-sweeps over the vacant midwicket region and beyond the rope.
44th over: Australia 130-6 (Johnson 7, Watson 10) As you’d expect, Anderson is aiming for that monolith of a front pad that Watson has, but he’s getting his bat out comfortably enough as Jimmy’s pace is down a bit. England have bowled very well and the bowling changes have been good, but there have been some pretty weak shots out there. A third maiden on the bounce.
43rd over: Australia 130-6 (Johnson 7, Watson 10) A faint soupcon of drama as Johnson leaves one that doesn’t turn, but it’s far enough outside off that it doesn’t really matter all that much.
42nd over: Australia 130-6 (Johnson 7, Watson 10) Anderson is round the wicket to the left handed Johnson, who bunts one off his knee roll for three, with Ali sliding well in the deep to save a run. “You would put Watson down as an underachiever,” says Gower on the telly and inadvertently channelling Woody Allen in Love and Death. I dare say he enjoyed saying that.
41st over: Australia 127-6 (Johnson 4, Watson 10) Er, we do appear to have got a bit mixed up with the over count at some point in this session, but I promise this is the 41st. On Sky, Atherton is revelling in the worried looks being exchanged between Punter and Glenn McGrath at the back of the commentary box. Back on the field, Johnson gets a single to square-ish leg, then Ali tempts Watson with a very wide, cuttable ball that the batsman misses out on.
Here’s OBO regular Guy Hornsby: “Well, I have to say that having woken up feeling like my head has been trodden on by hobnail boots, this afternoon’s play has been lifting the fuzziness admirably. Just before lunch (when I woke up, sorry) I was starting to get the fear, but since Warner went its been a very 90s English collapse. It feels odd saying its the Aussies doing it, but it also feels absolutely brilliant. I might have to crack open beer, even if it kills me.”
40th over: Australia 126-6 (Johnson 3, Watson 10) Anderson begins his over with a nasty lifter that catches Watson unawares and the batsman just about gets his gloves there to protect his ribcage. A couple of balls later a real peach angles in and seams away from Watto’s outside edge – there’s an appeal, but Shane Watson’s nowhere near good enough to get a nick on that. A single takes him out of the dangerzone, before Johnson gets off the mark with a thick outside edge down to third man for three. Time for drinks.
39th over: Australia 122-6 (Johnson 0, Watson 9) Well this is all a bit good, isn’t it? Cook returns to Ali and is rewarded again. I have to admit, he’s captained his spinner excellently today. He’s taken a hell of a catch too, tumbling back and going one-handed, he parried it up in the air then grabbed it in his left hand as he landed. Johnson is the new man, with three close catchers in on the off side. A wicket maiden.
“Afternoon Dan,” writes Seth Levine. “Am I alone in hoping that Sky invited Punter to the UK as a guest commentator just so they can bring Gary Pratt in to the box to steal his microphone?”
Thanks Niall. A change of OBOer brings a wicket as Ali strikes first ball! Haddin looks to lift him over mid on and hits it hard, but fails to get the requisite elevation and Cook snaffles it, taking an excellent juggling catch!
38th over: Australia 122-5 (Watson 9, Haddin 7) Watson back on strike, and Anderson keeps firing outside off stump, keeping Watson waiting for the in-swinger. When it comes, Watson is waiting, and punches down the ground for four.
Back to Dan Lucas for the rest of the afternoon session. I’ll leave you with comments from Matt Dony that I can’t condone:
37th over: Australia 118-5 (Watson 5, Haddin 7) Wood continues, and catches Haddin in what we’ll call ‘the Alastair Cook zone’. Haddin is at least boxed up and takes the blow stoically. Just two from the over. The home fans are singing “Livin’ on a Prayer”, while those in green and gold are caddishly waving umbrellas in the air. Fair to say some of the intensity has gone out of this.
36th over: Australia 116-5 (Watson 5, Haddin 5) Anderson replaces Broad, and will steam in at Watson from the Cathedral Road end. Plenty of dark clouds around the ground, although no rain is forecast. Watson pinches a single with a flick down leg side, and Haddin adds another through backward square. Australia are hardly motoring here.
36th over: Australia 114-5 (Watson 4, Haddin 4) Wood has kept his length expertly, giving the batsmen precious little to work with. It almost pays off as Haddin bottom edges a short ball, but it whistles over the stumps and away for a spawny four.
35th over: Australia 109-5 (Watson 3, Haddin 0) So, a visibly aflame Stuart Broad up against two batsmen short on confidence, without a run to their name. Watson stands firm here though, with Broad predictably targeting that big old front pad. The Australian bides his time, getting off the mark with a flick through the covers for two off the final ball of the over.
33rd over: Australia 106-5 (Watson 0, Haddin 0) Wood gives Haddin not a sniff in that over, and completes a very tidy wicket maiden. Australia have lost four wickets for nine runs. I’m no batting coach, but that’s not the way to chase down 400+.
“That’s two whiskey cokes and two wickets. I will have six more.” hollers Patrick Durkin.
And another! England’s pacemen have been rampant since lunch, and Wood works Voges outside his off stump, forcing him into a pitiful feather through to Buttler behind the stumps. England celebrate wildly.
33rd over: Australia 106-4 (Voges 1, Watson 0) Foot to the throat stuff from Broad with the slips lining up behind Watson, but the batsman plays a straight bat to see out the over.
If the Smith wicket was big, this is positively colossal for England. Two quick wickets after lunch? No problem. Clarke had just flicked his old friend away for four, but a fuller ball has him going awkwardly after a drive – and it flies straight to Stokes at backward point!
32nd over: Australia 102-3 (Voges 1, Clarke 0) Wood keeps a good length, but gives Voges a couple of glimpses with shorter balls – on both occasions, the new man at the crease is hasty, picking out only England shirts at midwicket and mid-off. Australia need to get a partnership going, and it feels a long way off at the moment.
31st over: Australia 102-3 (Voges 1, Clarke 0) Broad is in the mood, and has Voges striking all sorts of poses, ducking under a short ball before getting a slight inside edge to spoil the maiden. That’s the first run since Smith’s four.
30th over: Australia 101-3 (Voges 0, Clarke 0) Moeen gets a pat on the back and a stint back in the field, and Mark Wood, a model of tenacity throughout the series, is back in. It’s a maiden, Clarke seeing off more 80mph+ bowling from the back foot.
From the tweets I’ve been getting, it seems Patrick Durkin isn’t the only one turning to drink. Alcohol and cricket, eh? Who knew?
29th over: Australia 101-3 (Voges 0, Clarke 0) In comes Adam Voges, who sees out the final two balls for no runs. Things looking much rosier for England – three wickets down, both batsmen at the crease on nought.
This could be a big, big wicket for England. Smith had begun to look in the mood, but Broad gets his man with a length delivery, outside off, which Smith nicks helplessly to Bell at second slip. Two wickets in eight balls either side of the lunch break.
28th over: Australia 101-2 (Smith 33, Clarke 0) target 412 Smith continues with the attacking stance, driving Broad clean through the covers for four. Broad holds his line and there’s an appeal as the ball nicks through to Root, but a new angle shows England were right not to review – the ball struck his pad. No matter...
27th over: Australia 97-2 (Smith 29, Clarke 0) target 412 Three dot balls complete a wicket maiden for Mooen. Broad will be in next, with a fair bit of cloud cover in Cardiff. Having lived there for four years, I can confirm this is not a huge surprise.
Out come the players, England adopting a cool, casual strut that you’d imagine reflects their mindset at this stage. Moeen will have three more balls after that Warner wicket brought us a fractionally early lunch.
Here’s Patrick Durkin, who is 6,241 miles from Cardiff, at Asunción airport, Paraguay:
“A Kiwi here so supporting the English of course. Tried to explain the Ashes to a restaurant worker here so he could find it on TV at airport waiting for flight to Bolivia. It’s 8am here and been up since 4.30 am yesterday so cricket and a whiskey coke are settling jangly nerves.”
Hi, everybody! So after a good morning with the ball, England were feeling a little frustrated with Australia settled in at 97-1 – but Mooen taking care of Warner moments before one o’clock in Cardiff, they’ll be ploughing into their sandwiches with gusto.
The hosts now face a procession of batsmen – Clarke, Voges, Watson and Haddin, as well as Steve Smith, still battling away at the crease – with something to prove after the first innings. All five scored between 22 and 38. That won’t get you to the line in a driving theory test, never mind an Ashes Test. England may be a couple of quick wickets from breaking the Australian resistance – that, of course, is easier said than done.
Until that final ball, you would say that it was Australia’s session. As it is, they go to lunch with their set batsman having just got out after misreading the spinner, with 315 more runs needed.
England wouldn’t have been worried, but they would certainly have been frustrated by that second wicket partnership. As it is, they can come out with their dander up and eight more wickets needed to win it.
27th over: Australia 97-2 (Smith 29) target 412 I imagine this is going to be the final over of the session and it’s going to be Moeen Ali, rather than Root, to bowl it. His last over went for 17, but you wouldn’t think that Warner will be quite so aggressive. Oh in fact he’s out! That’s the perfect note to end the session on for England.
Warner goes! It goes straight on with the arm and hits him in front of middle and leg, going back to defend. Up goes the finger and Warner declines to review it.
26th over: Australia 97-1 (Smith 29, Warner 52) target 412 Anderson to Smith then, for the first time today. He’s going to go across to counter what movement Jimmy can find, and it proves mighty effective as he times a nice drive just wide of the close catcher and through mid off for four. There is a touch of swing there for Anderson though, so England can take heart.
25th over: Australia 93-1 (Smith 25, Warner 52) target 412 I guess Warner is playing for the break now, as he reins in the big aggressive shots he was unfurling against Moeen earlier. Three singles from the over once again: two of them Smith’s, one Warner’s.
Audiophiles! This is what it sounds like when David Warner reaches 50. No one boos, sorry.
24th over: Australia 90-1 (Smith 23, Warner 51) target 412 Another double change as Anderson returns. This could be crucial – if Australia can see him off they’ll go to lunch full of confidence. Unlike Root, Jimmy has plenty of close catchers in on the off side. with two slips, gully, short extra cover, a very narrow silly mid off in the batsman’s eyeline and an orthodox mid off too. Warner’s patience wears thin from the fifth ball as he slashes and misses a full one outside off.
23rd over: Australia 90-1 (Smith 23, Warner 51) target 412 Root is indeed going to have a bowl. There was naff all on offer for Moeen earlier in terms of spin and he took a bit of a hammering. Warner takes a leg bye to bring Smith on strike and Root sticks to round the wicket against the right hander. The Australians milk a single apiece.
22nd over: Australia 87-1 (Smith 22, Warner 50) target 412 Easy runs – two of the damn things – as Stokes presents Warner with a half volley on leg stump and the opener moves to within one of his half century. Root is warming up, though you would think that Broad and Anderson have had enough of a rest that they could have a burst before we go to lunch in 20 minutes. Warner misses out trying to uppercut over the slips when Stokes bowls a bouncer, but then pulls a short, leg-side gimme round the corner for the single that takes him to his 15th Test half-century, from 72 balls with six fours and a six.
21st over: Australia 84-1 (Smith 22, Warner 47) target 412 From the last 10 overs, Australia have scored 56-0. Wood sends down an 88mph bouncer, but Warner is on to it so, so quickly, pulling it out off the back foot to deep midwicket for a couple. It’s a slightly odd pulling technique (stop it), is Warner’s; you think of the best players of the shot such as Ponting, Pietersen, Richards and even Shane Watson and they all played it predominantly off the front foot. Speedy running between the wickets brings two more to Warner, out to mid on where Ballance was fielding deep. Another single from another short ball out to midwicket from the last ball of the over. It’s not swinging any more, by the way.
20th over: Australia 79-1 (Smith 22, Warner 42) target 412 Stokes finds some extra lift outside off again strikes Smith on the arm. It’s worth persevering with that region, but not overpitching and allowing Smith to drive classically through extra cover for four. Stokes overpitches outside off and allows Smith to drive classically through extra cover for four. Good bouncer to finish though, which has the batsman ducking.
19th over: Australia 75-1 (Smith 18, Warner 42) target 412 Anderson had gone off the field for a bit, but he’s back on now and I imagine we’ll see him with ball in hand before too long. It’s Wood for now though and he gets a proper edge with one slanted across Warner, but it goes through a gaping hole between second and third slip and away for four. Cook responds by closing the gap, kinda pointlessly. Then a nasty one hits him on the hand as he can’t withdraw his bat in time. Good stuff this, as Wood then swings a full one back into the pads; it pops up but there’s no short leg there to take the catch.
18th over: Australia 71-1 (Smith 18, Warner 38) target 412 If Australia go to lunch at around 100-1 then I dare say they’ll be delighted, especially with these two having got settled so quickly. England need a wicket or two and I’m not sure Stokes is the man to smash the innings open. Even if they’re not going to slap him around, the batsmen can keep things ticking over off his bowling and keep the pressure off. That said, this one’s a maiden.
The last ball of that over from @MAWood33 92mph! Aus 71-1 #Ashes
17th over: Australia 71-1 (Smith 18, Warner 38) target 412 Who knew David Warner was capable of subtlety? He plays a lovely little late dab to guide it down to third man for four runs, taking the partnership to a brisk 50 from 40 balls. “I don’t need this pressure on,” sang Spandau Ballet in 1981, but that’s probably not advice England should listen to. Wood responds by sending one through quicker, using that variable bounce and beating the bat by a mile. There’s an appeal next ball; not sure if it’s for LBW or a catch behind, but either way the ball has beaten the bat by a long way and flicked the pocket, so it’s not even close either way. Warner works the final ball of the over round the corner for a couple more.
16th over: Australia 65-1 (Smith 18, Warner 32) target 412 As Nasser points out on the telly, Smith’s tendency to shuffle across his stumps makes him a candidate to be caught at leg slip. Indeed a leg slip comes in no sooner has he finished making the point. It’s the orthodox slip who’s most interested though, as a bit of extra bounce sees the ball take the edge, but drop short of the cordon. The next ball is short, hittable and gets swished through mid on for four.
“Hello Dan,” writes Marie Speakman in Tuscany. “We are out of England at the moment and can’t watch the game . What is your prediction of the outcome. Are the Aussies gonna go for it. What is the wicket doing?”
15th over: Australia 61-1 (Smith 14, Warner 32) target 412 Actually it’s a double change, with Moeen withdrawn from the firing line and Mark Wood brought on. Smith has a wild and wooly pull at his first one down the leg side and Buttler appeals. No one else does though as it passed way below the bottom of the bat. Smith shuffles across and works a single into the on side – he’s a walking LBW candidate if he misses that favourite shot of his, only he never seems to miss – before Warner fires a straight pull past the bowler and down the ground for four more. It was a good, if highly unorthodox shot, unlike the next one as Wood goes shorter and Warner misses with the attempted pull by miles.
14th over: Australia 56-1 (Smith 13, Warner 28) target 412 With the runs starting to flow for Australia, England make another change: Broad gets a rest and Stokes gets a bowl – ahead of Wood, which is a funny one. Perhaps Cook doesn’t want the ball to come flying off Warner’s bat against the faster bowler. After Smith tucks him into the on side for a single, there’s a slight mix up between gully and backward point that allows Warner through for another. Stokes goes wider on the crease and angles it back into the pads, where just a faint inside edge to take it down to fine leg saves Smith from being LBW.
13th over: Australia 53-1 (Smith 11, Warner 27) target 412 Ali opens up with a half volley outside off that the Notorious BIG would reject for being too juicy. Smith carves it through cover point for four, then clips through a gap at midwicket for three more. Moeen shows his inexperience by overcorrecting, dragging it short and get launched over midwicket by Warner for six. Another short one to finish and it’s cut behind point for four more. We go to drinks with 17 leaked from the over.
12th over: Australia 36-1 (Smith 4, Warner 17) target 412 Broad opts to try the round the wicket angle to Warner, who turns the first one down to fine leg for two. Then a huge appeal as a fuller one pins the batsman back on his crease, but there’s a big inside edge. Cook acknowledges as much and declines to review. Four byes follow as Broad sends one miles down the leg side and Buttler can only tip it round the corner. Two more are then punched through mid on. Not convinced that this is the right move from Broad, given the number of times he had Warner swinging and missing at the one across– Broad then induces another play and miss with a full ball outside off that holds its line.
11th over: Australia 28-1 (Smith 4, Warner 13) target 412 Time for a change of bowling and time for a bit of spin, with Ali into the attack. Warner goes after him immediately, stepping down the track and sending a screamer past extra cover for four. It was in the air as it flew past Cook, but was hit far too hard for him to react in time. He blocks the next few, before dabbing to backward point for a single from the fifth. It’s not spinning a huge amount, but that’s to be expected at this stage. I would think that Cook is hoping that Warner’s natural aggression combined with the extra bounce of the hard ball will create some chances, just as it did with Lyon getting Cook with a top-spinner in the first innings of the match.
10th over: Australia 23-1 (Smith 4, Warner 8) target 412 There’s a touch of tennis ball bounce from the second ball of Broad’s over, rising sharply away from Rogers, though the batsman is about as interested in it as I am in the next Kasabian album. Broad adjusts his line and length though a couple of balls later, taking the shoulder of the bat and getting his reward. It goes to show how unreliable the bounce is here though and what a task Australia have ahead of them. The world’s number one batsman is the new man and he immediately gets an edge, playing an inswinger with soft hands and the ball dropping to the ground, going along the ground between slip and gully and down to third man for four.
England are claiming a catch here, but the umpires want to check it was out. The soft signal is out... and yes it’s been given! Broad tucked him up again, found the edge with a bit of extra bounce and it goes low to Bell at second slip.
9th over: Australia 19-0 (Rogers 10, Warner 8) target 412 Australia need fewer than 400 now then; it’s on. Anderson delivers that rare one he brings back into the left-hander from off, and Warner times it nicely through mid on for four. In comes short midwicket. Anderson then gets a warning for running on the pitch and thus has a minor funk on. Warner reaches a long way for a wide one outside off, but drags it straight down the ground for two as Wood does well to reel it in.
8th over: Australia 13-0 (Rogers 10, Warner 2) target 412 Broad begins with a rare loose ball on leg, which Rogers turns round the corner for a single. According to the groundsman (via Bumble on Sky), we’re likely to get rain overnight and it’ll last until about 2pm tomorrow, which makes my prediction that England will wrap it up in the morning session rather moot. Another straight one gets muscled away by Warner to deep square leg, taking him to two from 24 balls. He’s struggling to get bat on ball today and that’s mostly down to the excellent line and length that Broad has been probing at him with. Round the wicket he comes to Rogers and beats him with the final ball.
7th over: Australia 11-0 (Rogers 9, Warner 1) target 412 A slight change of field, with Broad moving into a very, very fine midwicket. He’s so close to the strip that he and Anderson almost collide as the bowler moves to field the ball in his follow-through. A short ball takes Rogers’ hip and the batsmen jog through for a leg-bye.
6th over: Australia 10-0 (Rogers 9, Warner 1) target 412 We have a review. Broad gets one to swing back into Warner and there’s a noise as it goes through to Buttler. It’s given not out, a decision that’s upheld as the ball is revealed to have clipped the pad on its way through. Another dodgy shot though from Warner, similar to the one that saw him nick to slip in the first innings.
“Morrning Dan,” writes Daniel, who appears to be the drummer for indie favourites Esben and the Witch. They’re really good. “Long time reader first time emailer, i am in Vevey Switzerland and cant find today’s youtube link to TMS anywhere. Any chance of a little help? Will obviously keep reading. Also wish we had 60 more but i think thats just scars from the 90’s”
5th over: Australia 10-0 (Rogers 9, Warner 1) targe 412 England are interested as Rogers falls all over one that hoops back into him from round the wicket. It’s an inswinger though and, with that and the angle, is going a way down leg. Rogers celebrates by timing very nicely through long on for a second boundary.
“Hi Dan.” Hi, Simon Platt. “We’re taking a bunch of kids to the very family-friendly Deershed music festival in a couple of weeks. Saturday’s headliner? That well-known kids favourite John Grant. ‘Daddy, what does [BAD WORD BEGINNING WITH M AND CONTAINING AN F] mean?’”
4th over: Australia 6-0 (Rogers 5, Warner 1) targe 412 This really is lovely bowling from Stuart Broad. Again pitched up on off, it just leaves the left-hander and draws a third false shot of the morning from Warner. The final ball is another beauty, Warner getting the line wrong again, and it’s a second maiden for Broad. This is going to be a very tricky opening spell for the batsmen.
3rd over: Australia 6-0 (Rogers 5, Warner 1) targe 412 Oh Joe! Anderson switches to round the wicket and immediately finds Rogers’ edge with a touch of extra bounce. It flies to the left of Root at second slip and he drops it diving to his left. It was tough, but at a decent height and probably should have been taken. It was identical to the one he clung on to to get rid of Starc in the first innings. Rogers works the next ball for a single and Jimmy comes back over the wicket to Warner. The opener gets off the mark with a nudge into the on side. A good bouncer is evaded well by Rogers from the fifth ball.
2nd over: Australia 4-0 (Rogers 4, Warner 0) targe 412 Broad is in the mood! He gets movement away from Warner off the seam and has the opener swiping and prodding at thin Cardiff air from the first two balls respectively. A maiden, with Broad tending to stay wide, across the batsman and test his resolve.
Davey Warner.....most outrageous hack first ball of the morning. He won't be here for a long time
1st over: Australia 4-0 (Rogers 4, Warner 0) targe 412 Chris Rogers, with seven Test fifties on the spin, will open the batting against Jimmy Anderson, as you’d expect. There’s not a huge amount of movement, by the looks of things, but enough zip that the second ball of the innings tucks the batsman up and Molemans him right in the testicles. We’re not going for euphemisms here, folks. Anderson strays on to the pads with the final ball and it’s clipped square for the first four runs of the day.
Apparently this morning Brad Haddin walked past Trevor Bayliss and growled “nice top, coach” at the coach in the England top.
Here we go. Players are out and play. Is. Imminent.
Simon Weston rings the bell. Five minutes to go.
“We have Jimmy, clouds and a pitch that can’t seem to make up its mind,” says Robin Basu in an email with the subject line Enough of this despondency. “All over by lunchtime. Plus I missed the morning session yesterday taking my daughter to kids about, so I’m definitely owed a wicketfest. The planets, as far as I’m concerned, are aligned.”
Well, the clouds have dissipated, but I like your optimism.
On Sky, Ian Ward is about to talk us through the art of chasing down big totals in Test matches. Ian Ward played in two Test matches featuring a successful fourth-innings chase. In those, Australia made 14-2 and 158-3.
“If Australia get to 404/3 there’s a good chance they will go on to win, mate,” points out Neil Brandon.
Well, yes. If Australia are still batting come the afternoon session tomorrow then they’ll surely win. But it will still be a record; I’m right about that much, damn it.
25 minutes until play begins. It’s looking a wee bit overcast in Cardiff, but only a wee bit. In the interim, you can either read the predictions of Bob O’Hara and Ian Copestake respectively, or you can listen to some music. You might even have time for both.
“I can think of 2 reasons you’re wrong about an England victory:
Yesterday’s OBO featured much talk of Desert Island Discs. And on that note, here’s Daniel Jeffreys.
“When will the Beeb have the guts to ask Mitchell Johnson for his Desert Island Discs? The Mitch should have plenty of time to think it over today as Australia put on a 412 run opening partnership. I’m thinking he has to go with ‘We are all very worried about you’ by Fun Loving Criminals, to remind him of Jonathan Trott, Handel’s Lascia Ch’io Panga from Rinaldo in memory of all the batsmen he castrated, The Beatles ‘Let it be’ in honour of all those who didn’t when he erred down the off-side, Queen, ‘Under Pressure’, just because its perfect and he almost has the same moustache as Freddie, John Grant ‘Pale Green Ghosts’ for the nightmares he gives England’s cricketers, Counting Crows ‘Murder of One’ for obvious reasons, and of course ‘Waltzing Matilda’ To finish up (and as the record he would have to keep if only allowed one) he’d surely go with Feed Me’s ‘One Click Headshot’ and its immortal line ‘My hearts beatin, my hands are shakin, but i’m still shootin and i’m still getting head shots’.”
“Am I living in an alternate universe to you?” Asks Matt Blakeley. “Because in mine Australia scored 404-3 to beat England at Leeds in 1948.”
He’s right, you know. I suck at clicking the right buttons on Statsguru. Sorry. Still, this would be an Ashes record.
Let’s look at the flip side of things though. We have an Australia office now, you know, so we should probably add a vestige of impartiality to this.
Nathan Lyon bowled excellently in England’s second innings and his figures of 4-75 reflect that. BUT it was certainly to his advantage that England have eight left-handers, including seven of the top nine, in their batting lineup. He’s also a better, more seasoned bowler than Moeen, who only has five lefties to go after. Two of those are the openers and if things go well for England then he isn’t likely to get many overs at them. The other three are tail-enders too, so the meat of the Australian batting won’t have the ball turning away from them.
Some stats for you, before play begins at 11am BST:
Preamble
Morning folks. Sometimes in life, the simple things are the most enjoyable. We all know thatOK Computer was the best album of 1997, but if you’re going out on the lash then there’s nowt finer than the Stereophonics’Word Gets Around. Only a philistine might put any film up againstCitizen Kane, you would think, but I’ll take Predator every time.Dubliners? Bugger it, I’d rather readThe Hunt for Red October. Tell you the truth, there are even days where I’d rather stick 24 on thanThe Wire, rare as they may be. The Hulk is a far superior superhero to Iron Man.
Right, that’s it from me. Thanks for your emails – particularly the fruit-based ones – and your tweets. Be sure to stick around on site for all the reports and reaction. Cheerio!
Safe to say that Australia shaded that. Feels like only one team can win it from here.
Australia 337-1. 337-1!!!
90th over: Australia 337-1 (Rogers 158, Smith 129)
Stuart Broad sends down the final six balls of a miserable day for England and a wonderful day for Australia. There’s no late sting, a Rogers edge dropping a foot or so short of the man at slip.
89th over: Australia 333-1 (Rogers 155, Smith 129)
A roll of the dice – Moeen Ali with the newish ball. Smith blocks, blocks and nurdles into the leg side for one.
88th over: Australia 332-1 (Rogers 155, Smith 128)
The next landmark comes up – the 250 partnership. And … Shot! Rogers sends a glorious drives whistling through the covers for four. Lovely stuff.
87th over: Australia 327-1 (Rogers 151, Smith 127)
Rogers goes to his 150 with a thick edge through gully for four. And we get a strangled appeal as Anderson gets an inswinger to loop past the bat and onto Rogers’ thigh pad.
86th over: Australia 323-1 (Rogers 147, Smith 127)
Just two overs with the new ball for Mark Wood. Stuart Broad replaces him at the Nursery End. As if things weren’t bad enough for England, a couple of possible worse-for-wear gentlemen in the crowd have started yawping Kumbayah. Now definitely in need of cheering …
85th over: Australia 320-1 (Rogers 144, Smith 127)
Six overs left, then, for England to find some crumb of comfort, some straw to clutch. Neither crumb nor straw can be found here – Anderson sends down a rank wide half-tracker and is flapped wide of point for four by Smith.
84th over: Australia 315-1 (Rogers 143, Smith 123)
A play and a miss. Wood sends down a beauty at Smith, angled in, jagging away and beating the outside edge by an inch. But the batsman is back in control a couple of balls later, flaying a pull to cow corner for four as Wood tries some chin music.
83rd over: Australia 311-1 (Rogers 143, Smith 119)
And Jimmy Anderson has the ball in his hands at the Pavilion End. He’s bowling full, giving the ball every chance … but Rogers simply leans into a cover drive and picks up four runs.
82nd over: Australia 305-1 (Rogers 139, Smith 117)
England take the new ball then. And it is being handed to Mark Wood. Smith sees out five balls without fuss, then slams the last through the covers for four.
Australia 300-1 at Lord's. Hello 1990s, I have missed you.
81st over: Australia 301-1 (Rogers 139, Smith 113)
But not taken. Moeen continues and Rogers unfurls the latest of late dabs for a couple more, then takes a single to take Australia to the 300 mark. For one.
80th over: Australia 297-1 (Rogers 135, Smith 112)
Just one one from Wood’s latest over. New ball available …
79th over: Australia 296-1 (Rogers 135, Smith 112)
“Well, if England can cause a mid innings collapse, we could still get them out for under 400,” roars optimism’s Tom Van Der Gucht. “Alternatively, England could fight fire with fire and run up their own massive score of 600 plus for 4 declared and put then under last innings pressure. But, I still feel we’ve pretty much just got Australia where we want them at this point.” I’ll have two of whatever Tom’s having, thank you barkeep.
78th over: Australia 292-1 (Rogers 132, Smith 111)
Mark Wood returns for a quick blast before the new ball. Smith takes a single from the first, Rogers a single from the second, Smith a single from the fourth. Three dots, three singles.
77th over: Australia 289-1 (Rogers 131, Smith 109)
Moeen continues after the drinks break. It’s good, probing stuff … and it’s a maiden.
76th over: Australia 289-1 (Rogers 131, Smith 109)
Stokes strays to leg at Rogers, who glances effortlessly away to fine leg for four. Australia are racing now. And that’s drinks.
75th over: Australia 283-1 (Rogers 126, Smith 109)
Moeen rattles through another over. Just a single from it.
74th over: Australia 282-1 (Rogers 126, Smith 108)
The new ball approacheth. And England need it. Yet another of those late cuts from Rogers sees him pick up four more to third man and takes this partnership to the 200 mark. Then … an edge! Beautifully bowled by Stokes, who square up Rogers but the ball flies through the vacant third slip area and away for another boundary. It means that this is now Rogers’ highest Test score.
73rd over: Australia 272-1 (Rogers 116, Smith 108)
Moeen finds a touch of turn and, shortly afterwards, Steve Smith’s gloves. But it’s not one you could categorise as a chance for Jos Buttler and the batsman picks up four runs to fine leg. Eight off the over, and 18 off the last two.
72nd over: Australia 264-1 (Rogers 113, Smith 103)
Rogers clumps Stokes through the covers for four more, tickles for two, then bashes another boundary to midwicket. The century landmarks out of the way, it’s a just-how-horrendous-is-this-going-to-be? situation for England.
71st over: Australia 254-1 (Rogers 103, Smith 103)
“You mention Steve Smith’s flawless century, is that missing out the drop from Bell?” writes James. “Which is already looking as important a moment as the drop of Root in Cardiff?” Absolutely right. That drop had completely slipped my mind. Still, it has been a great innings. Moeen sends down a maiden at him here.
70th over: Australia 254-1 (Rogers 103, Smith 103)
Rogers gets his century! A lovely moment for him after so many near misses of late. He could’ve gone in the first over but here he is at nearly 5pm BST guiding Australia past the 250 mark.
69th over: Australia 250-1 (Rogers 99, Smith 103)
Moeen has switched ends here. He floats up a full toss so juicy it should come served with a serrated knife and choice of creamy sauces but Rogers, two runs short of his century, can only punch it to the man at short midwicket. Cue a rueful smile at the missed opportunity. He does steal a single from the last, though, to move to 99 …
68th over: Australia 248-1 (Rogers 98, Smith 103)
Smith gets his century! Anderson is back and his first is a loosener, which Smith flat bats down to cow corner for four. The ovation for the ton is a huge one. And a single from the next takes him to 1000 career runs against England. It’s been a superb knock, flat pitch or no,
67th over: Australia 242-1 (Rogers 97, Smith 98)
Steve Smith isn’t going to go down easily in this race for to 100. He crunches the returning Root back over the bowler’s head for six, sending the members scattering. Then sweeps and tucks for a couple of couples. He even pinches the strike with a single off the last.
66th over: Australia 232-1 (Rogers 97, Smith 87)
Rogers moves into the 90s with a trademark late cut off Moeen for four. And he follows that up a couple of balls later with a back foot punch through the covers for four. He’s one meaty blow from his first ton since Port Elizabeth last year.
65th over: Australia 224-1 (Rogers 89, Smith 87)
Broad bangs down a bouncer at Rogers, who ducks and ends up flat on his back, legs in the air, like a beetle. And more elegant destruction from Smith – he steps across and tucks a ball outside off stump wide of long on for four.
64th over: Australia 218-1 (Rogers 88, Smith 82)
CLONK! Smith skips down the wicket and clobbers Moeen back down the ground for four. And he follows that up by rocking on to the back foot and clipping to midwicket for a single. Good cricket. Rogers gets a single – his just added the one run in his last 17 deliveries.
63rd over: Australia 212-1 (Rogers 87, Smith 77)
Bowling at Steve Smith in this mood must just be a nightmare. He steps so far across to off that it has to play havoc with your radar. He guides Broad away for four through backward point to move on to 77. At this rate he’ll reach three figures before his batting partner, who has become a little becalmed with the century mark approaching. And not for the first time.
62nd over: Australia 208-1 (Rogers 87, Smith 73)
Ooh, sloppy. Two overthrows for Australia as several players amble around in a daze as the throw comes in to the bowler’s end. Smith picks up three runs as a result. Rogers drives the next from Moeen straight into Joe Root’s though at silly mid off. And as a result, Ballance sticks the lid on and replaces his team-mate in the firing line.
61st over: Australia 205-1 (Rogers 87, Smith 70)
More fine fielding, from Adam Lyth this time who sprawls at mid off to deny Smith a boundary, keeping the batsman instead to a single. And a couple of balls later Broad produces another cracker. Twice in two overs now he’s attached jump leads to this dead pitch and found dramatic signs of life. Again it was angled in from round the wicket, again it seamed away past the outside edge of a Rogers drive.
60th over: Australia 204-1 (Rogers 87, Smith 69)
Moeen offers Smith a hint of width outside off, and the batsman, casually as you like, slides the ball off the face for three runs that take Australia to 200. And the left-handed Rogers produces the mirror image from the next, but getting hold of the thing rather better and picking up four runs to third man. From the third ball of an eventful over, Rogers props forward in defence and the ball spins back of the blade. He has to take some quick evasive action to tap the ball away from the off stump at the second attempt.
59th over: Australia 197-1 (Rogers 83, Smith 66)
Stuart Broad from the Pavilion End. Smith leans into a drive and it takes a superb tumbling stop from Gary Ballance in the covers to prevent a boundary. Then – what’s this? – a bit of movement and carry for the bowler. It’s a fantastic ball actually, one angled in and seeming away from the left-handed Rogers, who drives at thin air. Bat was a good two inches from ball there.
58th over: Australia 195-1 (Rogers 82, Smith 65)
Hello again everyone. Moeen continues after the break and Smith nudges for a couple and then a single. This pitch has joined the bleedin’ choir invisible.
And that is tea. Australia scored 3.85 runs an over before lunch, but only 2.9 runs an over in the second session. Which is pretty much all they’ve got to worry about at the minute. John Ashdown will be back at any moment to take you through to stumps. Bye!
57th over: Australia 191-1 (Rogers 81, Smith 62)
Rogers could not have been less interested in scoring a run there, and Lyth bowls a maiden. “Not being used to this, one for just under two hundred runs, does this mean the Aussies, if they keep this up will be 10 wickets down for two thousand runs?” wonders Stephen Pendle. Really the sensible thing to do would be to ask Australia how many runs they’d like to score, and how quickly they’d like to score them, stick the runs on the scorebard and perhaps play a quick ODI in the time they’d have taken to get them before England start their reply.
56th over: Australia 191-1 (Rogers 81, Smith 62)
Moeen bowls, Smith scores a couple, and England are going to play their way to tea with spin at both ends – Adam Lyth is preparing for his Test bowling debut.
55th over: Australia 189-1 (Rogers 81, Smith 60)
“Surely it is the prerogative of the home side to prepare pitches how they wish. A great Test side must travel the world proving themselves on every type of surface,” writes Dave Brown, as Wood bowls out a maiden to Rogers. “It is also not their job to provide pitches for the benefit of the crowd.” That’s certainly true, but pitches like this (though it may offer something to spinners in due course) benefit only the accountants and caterers who would most benefit from having a fifth day (inasmuch as having nice big numbers to look at counts as a benefit for accountants).
54th over: Australia 189-1 (Rogers 81, Smith 60)
Moeen comes on, and after a few dots Rogers gloves the ball just to the right of Buttler – who has his head (well, helmet) in his hands – and to the left of the leg slip, and away for three.
53rd over: Australia 186-1 (Rogers 78, Smith 60)
Wood hits Smith in the thigh pad and appeals for lbw, but Marais Erasmus shakes his head and there’s no review (rightly, the ball being on its way well over leg stump). A single later, Rogers pushes the ball to the cover boundary.
52nd over: Australia 180-1 (Rogers 73, Smith 59)
Twice Smith rolls the ball to Moeen at deep point and runs two, and then he does it again for a single. That leaves Rogers one delivery, which is so wide he has to really stretch to divert it wide of point for four. “The administrators that ask for a wicket like this to be prepared are also asking why nobody’s coming to watch Test cricket,” huffs Ricky Ponting about the surface (though obviously today’s a total sell-out).
51st over: Australia 171-1 (Rogers 69, Smith 54)
Wood does one of his last-moment leftward leaps to deliver the ball from a surprising width. Smith hits it for three. His other five deliveries are all dots.
50th over: Australia 168-1 (Rogers 69, Smith 51)
Edged by Smith! And dropped by Bell at second slip! The recently greasy-palmed fielder shakes a sore finger, but his team-mates are grimacing at least as much after that chance went down. To be fair, it came to him low – his fingers were just tucked underneath the ball as it landed – but at 3.15pm and without England taking a wicket all day (I’m not counting Warner, whose wicket wasn’t so much taken as gifted), England so badly needed that to stick.
49th over: Australia 167-1 (Rogers 69, Smith 50)
Steve Smith has half of a century, reaching 50 with a humdrum single, and then Rogers sees off the final five deliveries of Wood’s over without doing anything very much. “A few years ago my friend spent a year in Senegal in a small town as part of his university studies,” recalls Karl Gibbons. “One day when coming back from town with a bag of oranges a group of young boys were happy to see the new guy and were over speaking to him. Unable to speak the lingo, my friend reverted to the tried and tested “pull my finger and I will do a fart” routine that had served him well through the years. Sadly once the finger was pulled he did slightly more than fart… “followed through” I think is the safest way to explain what happened. The boys, expecting something to happen when the finger was pulled, but not realising what had happened stood there waiting to see why my friend had just asked them to pull his finger. Embarassed and presumable sheepish, my friend gave the bag of oranges to the boys and quickly made for home.”
48th over: Australia 166-1 (Rogers 69, Smith 49)
I see Andrew Flintoff and the mini-Flintoffs are at Lord’s. Though I think we’re at least three fallen wickets away from anyone in an England shirt declaring it the best day ever.
Ooooh! Close! Wood bowls at Rogers, who inside-edges just past his stumps and safely away for a single. His stats suggest flawless run-accumulation (if also a fear of three-figure numbers), but he’s been very close to out three times today, while – total idiocy aside – nobody else has been particularly threatened. And then he slashes to the third-man boundary for four!
46th over: Australia 159-1 (Rogers 64, Smith 47)
Stokes bowls, Smith edges and the ball flies low and true, straight to third slip. There is no one at third slip. Four runs. “Early in my footloose 20s, I ruined a tiny rental flat with an overripe honeydew melon,” writes Nick Tebbutt. “I was trying to teach my roommate to pass a rugby ball with it - but one thing lead to another and soon we were hurling it around, each hoping it would burst on the other. Eventually, it did – showering mushy flesh and juice all over us, the sofas, carpets and a couple of walls. Being slovenly layabouts, we obviously didn’t clean it up properly. And so began the Summer of All The Ants.”
45th over: Australia 153-1 (Rogers 64, Smith 41)
Wood bowls, amid near-constant field-tweakage. Smith scores a single again. “Rosalita Jones need not be embarrassed about her mango-related troubles,” writes Erik Petersen. “As a South Florida resident myself, I can confirm that they are Satan’s own fruit. Not only do the little jerks like to firebomb you when falling from trees, they’re disgusting once they land. If you have, say, oranges or grapefruit, you get a few days’ grace period between the time when they fall and the time when they rot. Not with the demon mango. It explodes into a little rotting mango turd pretty much immediately upon impact. Then the horrible little flies swarm. In response, I always take my blender onto the back patio and blend my mango margaritas in full view of them. Make them understand who’s in charge – it’s the only language they understand.” Yeah, that’ll learn them alright.
44th over: Australia 152-1 (Rogers 64, Smith 40)
Stokes bowls, Smith gets a single. Another coin-toss statistic for you: over the last decade teams which won the toss at Lord’s have won six Tests, drawn seven and lost eight. But then there’s also this:
Ominous stat of the day: the team batting second has lost 11 and won only one of the last 14 Lord's Tests.
43rd over: Australia 151-1 (Rogers 64, Smith 39)
Root continues. And Rogers continues to accumulate in untroubled fashion, another late chop to third man adding four to the tally and taking Australia past the 150 mark.
42nd over: Australia 146-1 (Rogers 60, Smith 38)
A good move from Alastair Cook here – with the game in danger of drifting away from England, Ben Stokes returns to the attack. The fourth ball, though, is too full and too wide from the all-rounder and Smith is able to free his arms and squirt a drive through backward point for four. Stokes scuffs the turf in frustration.
41st over: Australia 141-1 (Rogers 60, Smith 33)
Root loses his line, straying down the leg side and allowing Smith to club a sweep for a couple of runs. And a few balls later he’s able to push calmly back down the ground for a single. It’s all very easy for this pair at the moment – the partnership is 62 and counting.
40th over: Australia 138-1 (Rogers 60, Smith 30)
Four more, Rogers dabbing late to guide Moeen to the boundary as the bowler again drops a shade short.
39th over: Australia 133-1 (Rogers 56, Smith 29)
Finger spin from both ends – Joe Root gets the chance to turn his arm over. Rogers pounces on a touch of width, punching through point for four.
38th over: Australia 129-1 (Rogers 52, Smith 29)
Moeen drags one down but Smith misses out, scuffing his pull to backward square leg. That’s the only Hit-Me ball of an otherwise tight over.
37th over: Australia 129-1 (Rogers 52, Smith 29)
With Smith shuffling across his stumps, Anderson throws in a yorker and then tries a leg-stump line. It’s a good little battle and one that the batsman wins on this occasion.
36th over: Australia 128-1 (Rogers 52, Smith 28)
Moeen, England’s sole wicket-taker thus far, returns to the fray. Just a single from the over.
35th over: Australia 126-1 (Rogers 52, Smith 27)
Cracking shot from Smith, a forceful backfoot punch past gully and away for four as Anderson strives in search of movement. Australia are getting into a very dangerous (from England’s perspective) rhythm here.
34th over: Australia 122-1 (Rogers 52, Smith 23)
A nudge here and a nurdle there as the this pair keep the scoreboard ticking over. Broad attempts a yorker from the last – and it’s a decent one, Rogers inside-edging onto the pad. The Australian opener is in pretty good nick, though …
Anderson (10-2-36-0) gets Smith to play the first false shot since lunch, with a ball that just holds its line and tempts a whooshing air-drive. And from the final ball of the over he has Smith in trouble again, this time with one that swings in and finds a thick inside edge. Put on your best Andy Townsend voice and intone “BETTER” – you’ll get the idea.
32nd over: Australia 118-1 (Rogers 51, Smith 20)
Rogers gets tucked up a little by a ball just short of a length from Broad that jags back a touch. But it’s an otherwise entirely fuss-free over.
31st over: Australia 118-1 (Rogers 51, Smith 20)
A short, wide meh of a delivery is whacked through the covers for four by Smith – Anderson hasn’t really hit his straps so far today. He does, though, find a meaty bit of inswing from the fifth ball of the over. Smith deals with it comfortably enough.
30th over: Australia 114-1 (Rogers 51, Smith 16)
Broad comes round the wicket to Rogers, who since that scare in the first over of the day has been a picture of serenity. Five dots and then a lovely tippy-toed flick through point for four runs that take him to yet another half century.
29th over: Australia 110-1 (Rogers 47, Smith 16)
It’s Jimmy Anderson at the other end and he’s immediately whipped through midwicket for three, before following up with a wide.
28th over: Australia 106-1 (Rogers 44, Smith 16)
So Stuart Broad kicks things off with the ball after lunch. There’s a hint – a soupçon – of away swing to the right-handed Rogers, who drops-and-scampers for a quick single. Smith does likewise from he final ball of the over but it’s a much riskier affair as Moeen charges in from mid on. Smith is gone, gone, gone if he can throw down the stumps but it’s a wild throw from the spinner, a good yard wide.
@John_Ashdown The moral of the nectarine story is that Eng need to bowl a peach of a delivery to get an Aussie plumb LBW now Watson's gone.
So that’s a riff for the afternoon then. Fruit-based Disasters. Or Things That Should Be Easy That Are Actually Really Difficult Because You’re Not Very Good At Life Sometimes.
Hello everyone.It’s one of those days I’m afraid. This morning I attempted to buy a nectarine. It’s a relatively simple task, involving the selection of a piece of fruit, the exchange of currency for said fruit, and, if all goes well, the eating and digestion of the same. What actually happened involved a cack-handed juggle around the cafe followed by an unseemly scrabble around the floor to recover a now bruised and filthy nectarine. Which, obviously, I could not put back.
So the upshot is that I’m now sat at my desk with a piece of fruit that no one could possibly want. It’s got a History. No piece of fruit should really have a History. And it’s all mushy.
I’m going to hand over to John Ashdown for the next 90 minutes or so. Back in a bit.
And that’s yer lot, for now. Australia won the toss and made the right and obvious call, and there have only been a couple of deliveries – third ball to Rogers, and one from Broad to the same batsman that only just missed the stumps – that so much as threatened to take a wicket. England will only be cheered by the fact that the one wicket to fall was handed to them by a moment of idiocy from Warner.
27th over: Australia 104-1 (Rogers 43, Smith 16)
Mark Wood bowls, Smith gets another single, and the session ends with Australia presumably feeling very good indeed about their prospects. “You Poms are sounding very chipper this morning for supporters of a team that is going for a very comfortable 100 + runs per session!” writes someone who doesn’t say what their name is in their emails. “Hope springs eternal eh?” Sure, it hasn’t been a very encouraging morning for England’s bowlers but, on the plus side, it’s lunchtime.
26th over: Australia 103-1 (Rogers 43, Smith 15)
Stokes bowls, and the ball comes off Smith’s leg, or his bat, or his bat and his leg, and anyway bounces well short of the slips. He eventually takes a single from the last ball of the over.
@Simon_Burnton Sadly, the cat really has died.I think we'll keep it secret from the 7yr old today (unless there's a batting collapse)
25th over: Australia 102-1 (Rogers 43, Smith 14)
Wood bangs the ball in shortish, Rogers takes a very minimalist approach to evasive action and the ball bangs off his lower back and wide off Buttler for a couple of leg byes.
24th over: Australia 100-1 (Rogers 43, Smith 14)
Australia reach triple figures with a straight drive from Rogers for three. Smith tries to drive as well, chasing after a wide one, and is lucky to miss the ball completely.
23rd over: Australia 97-1 (Rogers 40, Smith 14)
Wood bowls at Smith, with three slips back in play to the newish batsman, and it’s a maiden. “It’s always difficult when your pet cat has been killed on the road, and sick jokes don’t help,” writes John Starbuck. “There’s no easy way to break the news but it’s best if you involve the family in the burial or other disposal, and get them to think about having another one. This depends on if there are other cats in the family, but involvement in choosing and watching a kitten grow up can help.” So you think the cat has actually died? I kind of assumed he had invented a bad situation for himself. I feel awful.
22nd over: Australia 97-1 (Rogers 40, Smith 14)
“Hi Simon,” writes Tony Cowards, as Stokes gives up just a single run. Hello. “I’ve recently discovered that Michael Clarke is a bit of country and western fan on the sly …
Moeen, Moeen, Moeen, Moeen I’m begging of you please don’t take my man Moeen, Moeen, Moeen, Moeen... Please don’t take him just because you can
Your beard is beyond compare With flowing locks of jet black hair With wickets tumbling of our baggy green
21st over: Australia 96-1 (Rogers 40, Smith 13)
Another full toss from Moeen is hit straight back at him, through his legs and away for four by Smith. There are a couple of singles, too. Australia have rocketed along this morning at 4.57 an over.
20th over: Australia 90-1 (Rogers 39, Smith 8)
Stokes’ first over of the day yields a couple of singles.
@Simon_Burnton any chance of some morale boosting wickets before lunch-it's my daughters bday and I need to tell her the cat's been run over
19th over: Australia 88-1 (Rogers 38, Smith 7)
Shot! Smith’s first boundary of the day is a fine cover drive. “I don’t like Mike Atherton’s 11th-over revelation that, for the first time in his captaincy tenure, Michael Clarke has done The Opposite,” writes Mac Millings. “There’s strong evidence that this can be a profitable approach.”
18th over: Australia 83-1 (Rogers 38, Smith 2)
Anderson has tried one end, he’s tried the other end, and he still hasn’t looked consistently threatening. Or even sporadically threatening, really. But he’s still going, still looking. Maiden over.
Only really sad part of that Warner dismissal is we just get to see him do it once. Best part of the day already gone
17th over: Australia 83-1 (Rogers 38, Smith 2)
An infinitely less dramatic second over for Moeen, with three singles coming off it.
16th over: Australia 80-1 (Rogers 36, Smith 1)
A couple of singles, Smith getting off the mark first ball. “They should eliminate the toss and always give the touring side a choice of whether to bat first or second,” suggests Simon Eckford. “It’d drive the laying of more balanced pitches and reduce home advantage.” It would also counteract the one major flaw in my proposed plan:
@Simon_Burnton Trouble with tossing for 1st test then alternating allows groundsmen too much certainty to prepare pitches for home team.
15th over: Australia 78-1 (Rogers 35, Smith 0)
Moeen Ali comes on and starts with a full toss, which Warner smashes away for four. His second ball also goes for four, and then a couple of singles later Warner tries to give it a bit more welly, and gets punished for it. There was absolutely no need for that, none. And here’s a treat for those at Lord’s today. Mmmmmmmm … slop sandwich.
Warner goes big, smashing the ball high into the air and down towards the long-off boundary, but he doesn’t get enough on it and Anderson, running back, takes the catch! Needless. The batsman will be unchuffed about that one, but off he goes, to find a mirror to have a long, hard look at himself in.
14th over: Australia 68-0 (Rogers 34, Warner 29)
The runs are really flowing here, and Rogers sends the ball past point for four more, while England’s match-opening three-slips-and-a-leg-slip-to-boot has become two slips. Here’s Darren Lehmann on Shane Watson, courtesy of Cricket Australia:
Shane’s been a little bit disappointing with his runs and it’s a tight call. He’s been an experienced player for us and Mitch Marsh has done everything we could ask for behind the scenes and obviously in the first two tour games – he’s in good form.
It was a tight call in the first Test – we went with experience – and this time we’ve decided to go with Mitch Marsh. Tough call on Shane but I’m sure he’s got plenty of cricket left in him.
13th over: Australia 62-0 (Rogers 28, Warner 29)
Shot! Warner smacks the ball through cover for four, barely moving his feet or needing to, a moment of casual and clinical violence, with the ball the sorry victim. And then the last is straight-batted between cover and point, no violence this time, just pure timing. “I take it by your comments that you’re not a fan of Warnie in the commentary box?” writes Jonas. “Why’s that? Personally, although I wouldn’t want him there all the time, I think he adds a brilliant dimension of colour.” I don’t mind Warne’s presence, but I prefer his absence. I know it’s his job, but I feel he is excessively opinionated. And I enjoyed Ponting’s slightly more reasoned contribution.
12th over: Australia 50-0 (Rogers 27, Warner 18)
And Anderson’s back, having swapped ends, and he bowls so far down leg side that Buttler can get nowhere near it, the ball zipping to the boundary for four byes. The next ball goes to the square leg boundary, and Australia have 50 runs.
11th over: Australia 42-0 (Rogers 23, Warner 18)
Wood’s first delivery is wide, and thrashed past point for four. The second squares him up and flies just past the edge, with the batsman squirming. The third smacks him in the pads, but was heading just down leg side. The fourth is driven to the extra cover boundary. Really, it’s all action. In further coin-toss news, Mike Atherton reveals that Michael Clarke has called tails before every match of his Test-captaincy career, but today went with heads.
10th over: Australia 34-0 (Rogers 23, Warner 10)
Ooooh! I mean, really very loud oooooh! Broad’s first delivery seams back towards Rogers, whose attempted drive connects with nothing but air, and the ball passes just past off stump. Unbelievably close to off stump. Lord’s lets out a hefty “ooh!” after each replay, of which there are several. The relieved batsman sees out the rest of the over with nothing in his mind except enormous relief, and it’s a maiden.
9th over: Australia 34-0 (Rogers 23, Warner 10)
Mark Wood replaces Anderson, and Shane Warne – gloriously absent from the commentary box in the first Test because he was playing in a poker tournament in Las Vegas, like you do – picks up the Sky microphone. Warner pulls through midwicket for four. And finally, on the Toss stats, Australia have won only 50.44% over all of Ashes history, which I suppose is OK. Personally, I favour having a toss before the first match of a series, and alternating the choice of whether to bat or field first thereafter.
8th over: Australia 30-0 (Rogers 23, Warner 6)
England give up on the leg slip, and Root at third slip comes a couple of yards shorter than the rest of the cordon. None of them are involved much here, with Rogers adding a couple with a drive through cover. Incidentally, on those toss-impact stats, Australia have now won the Toss at the start of 54.9% of the last 114 Ashes Tests, which makes them, by my calculations, quite lucky.
7th over: Australia 28-0 (Rogers 21, Warner 6)
A maiden over from Anderson. Someone’s-sending-me-audio-clips-so-I-might-as-well-use-em dept: this is the sound of some people clapping in a room. A long room, as it happens, which probably makes some difference, acoustically.
6th over: Australia 28-0 (Rogers 21, Warner 6)
Another single for Warner, before Rogers, who has looked in very fine nick since that third-ball edge, pushes Broad’s final delivery wide of mid on for four.
5th over: Australia 23-0 (Rogers 17, Warner 5)
Anderson bowls shortish at Rogers, who guides it through the gap between slips and gully for four. “Can someone with more knowledge or better statsguru-fu than I say how much the toss influences a test,” asks Duncan Smith. “I remember thinking some years ago that it was disproportionately important, but just failed to find out. Discounting moments of Ponting madness of course.” Since 1977 England have won 36.5% of Ashes Tests when they’ve won the toss, 26% having lost the toss, and 30.1% overall. Does that help?
4th over: Australia 19-0 (Rogers 13, Warner 5)
Ooof! Broad gets one to come back into Warner off the seam, and he edges it into his pads. And then he runs a single. The scamp. Rogers gets one too.
This is the 1st time that both teams have had the same captain in 12 consecutive Ashes Tests. M Taylor & M Atherton 11 v each other 1994-97.
3rd over: Australia 17-0 (Rogers 12, Warner 4)
Not a lot of early movement as yet, and the cloud cover appears to be heading elsewhere. Rogers gets a single, and Warner drives past mid off for three. “Forgive me Simon, but I think you’ll find RT Ponting is actually “Ricky”, not “Richard”,” points out Andrew Benzeval. “Sorry, it’s been a long morning already.” Yeah, but I bet he was Richard when he was naughty.
2nd over: Australia 13-0 (Rogers 11, Warner 1)
Stuart Broad oversteps by six inches and his first delivery is called a no ball. A single later, Rogers runs three while Moeen Ali scampers after the ball at midwicket.
1st over: Australia 8-0 (Rogers 8, Warner 0)
Ooof! Rogers goes for a drive off the third ball of the day, and edges it just out of the reach of Root (I think) at third slip and away for four! And then he goes for a drive off the fifth ball of the day, connects sweetly and gets another four through cover.
Walking through long room in @HomeOfCricket at the start of an Ashes Test match is a truly incredible moment. One of best career highlights
Anderson has the ball. Three slips, a gully and a leg slip in place. Let’s play cricket! (or at least let’s watch other people playing cricket)
Out come the players, and the sunshine. There’s plenty of grey cloud over London, but at the moment the sun is poking through a gap.
Here’s Peter Nevill with his fresh baggy green. His father Jeff and fiancee Sam are both at Lord’s to witness his debut.
@Simon_Burnton So how come your England line-up had Root before Bell? Fans of I-Ron like me might begin to think this is Casus Belli!
Because I copy-and-pasted it from someone on Twitter, obviously. Anyway, Richard Thomas Ponting has just rung the Lord’s bell, and play is five minutes away.
A handy, cut-out-and-keep pictorial guide to the Australia team:
“Is your second 10:25 picture of Mike Gatting pulling some form of hover-bag?” wonders Bob Miller. I hadn’t spotted the hover-bag. That’s amazing.
@Simon_Burnton With England bowling first, I am relying on you to take some wickets. Quick commentator's curse on the Aussie openers please?
Well Rogers and Warner both got half-centuries in Cardiff so they carry some confidence into this match, and it’s only a matter of time – and probably not much of it – before they put on a big opening stand. If I were an England bowler, I’d be wobble-kneed with nerves at the moment.
“Any ideas what my chances are for my cheapy day-five ticket getting to see some action?” wonders Chris Green. “I’ve tried googling for “average number of days test at Lords” but not really finding much out there!”
Well seven out of the last 10 Ashes Tests at Lord’s have seen some play on day five (but only two of the last five).
Alastair Cook says that he would also have chosen to bat first. “We’ve got to do all the good things again, take our catches, put the ball in the right area. It might swing in the first couple of hours. Hopefully we can do some damage.”
“It’s obviously overcast. There might be a little bit in it first session but it looks a very good pitch,” says Michael Clarke.
Unconfirmed team news: England unchanged, Marsh and Nevill replace Watson and Haddin for Australia. The toss is a few minutes away.
Always love the Lord’s Test queueing shots. Let’s have a couple more.
Bacon-and-eggs latest:
“Win the toss and bat, surely,” is the conclusion of Ian Botham, having had a peek at the pitch.
The nice people at Investec have sent me a big bag of statistical goodness, and I thought I’d deliver the highlights (almost all of it, to be fair) to you with the use of the highly involved copy-and-paste facility. The first one is particularly telling. Enjoy!
Hello. Simon will be heading out of the pavilion shortly for the start of the second Test. While we wait, here’s Vic Marks on the spinners on both side who have thus far stolen the pacemen’s thunder:
Ashes series are generally won by the pacemen. Think Harold Larwood, Frank Tyson, Dennis Lillee and Jeff Thomson, John Snow, England’s Fab Four of 2005, Glenn McGrath and Jason Gillespie, Mitchell Johnson and Ryan Harris. In all probability the pacemen will be decisive this time as well. Each side will have at least three of them at their disposal.
However in Cardiff the pacemen did not always predominate. Of the 40 wickets to fall, 13 were taken by off-spinners, all of whom have, at some point in their careers, been derided as lightweights. Nathan Lyon may now be the most prolific ever Australian off-spinner but initially he was showered with faint praise. He eventually established himself as the least worst replacement for Shane Warne amid a host of rejected candidates.
That’s all for me, then. It’s been, um, interesting. On the plus side, after a pretty dreary opening day, there is at least interest in this match now, and the possibility of a positive result. More tomorrow. Bye!
A wonderful day for Australia, and very much as expected after yesterday for England – but for half an hour of utter madness at the start of their innings. They require a further 282 runs to avoid the follow-on, and are playing for time and dignity now.
29th over: England 85-4 (Cook 22, Stokes 38)
Lyon takes the last over, with two slips, a short leg and a silly point clustered around the bat. Stokes immediately takes a single and retreats to the safety of the bowler’s end and Cook sees out the rest with the very same ambition – or absence of it – that he showed in the previous over. And with that, the batsmen shake a couple of Australian hands and head for he hills.
28th over: England 84-4 (Cook 21, Stokes 37)
Marsh bowls the penultimate over of the day, and Cook negotiates it, no thought in his mind but survival. A maiden.
@Simon_Burnton Stokes - The New Gordon Greenidge? There's a man who knew how to bat at Lord's. And Cook has a bit of Gomes about him too.
27th over: England 84-4 (Cook 21, Stokes 37)
Stokes is hurting here. He’s had the physio on, he’s taken some pills, and still he’s wincing with every step. It doesn’t matter if his leg’s about to fall off, he’s not retiring hurt. This partnership has hauled England from the ignominy of 30-4 to the ignominy of 84-4.
26th over: England 81-4 (Cook 19, Stokes 36)
Mitchell Marsh swings his arm for the first time today, bowling across the left-handed Cook, who eventually takes a single, and then Stokes gets two off the last. “I’ve just come in and gone to OBO – Orrible!!!!!!!!!!!” exclaims the extremely exclamatory Andy Tyacke. “Just out of interest (foreboding?) - what is the record first innings lead in an Ashes match and are Australia in with a chance of breaking it?” Fortunately England were never in any danger of breaking that particular record, even had they been bowled out without scoring. I haven’t actually checked, but I’d be surprised if anything beats 702.
25th over: England 78-4 (Cook 18, Stokes 34)
Johnson pitches three short and then one full, but Stokes deals with all of them, and the two that follow. The cameras cut to Root, sitting on the England balcony with a look of pure melancholy on his face, as well he might.
24th over: England 78-4 (Cook 18, Stokes 34)
Cook doesn’t attack Lyon like Stokes did, but then I suppose he learned that lesson in Cardiff. Maiden. Johnson, incidentally, was off the field for only one over, and is now preparing to bowl again.
His foot was grounded when Nevill whipped off the bails. An odd review, that, the original appeal having been so massively downplayed that I didn’t notice it happening.
Australia think they just might have him!
23rd over: England 78-4 (Cook 18, Stokes 34)
The England physio comes on before Hazlewood’s over begins, to feed an apparently achey Stokes some kind of medication. While he’s at it, Johnson leaves the field. Cook gets a single off the final delivery, one of the previous ones having not bothered bouncing but trundled harmlessly wide of off stump.
22nd over: England 77-4 (Cook 17, Stokes 34)
Lyon bowls, and Stokes rumbles down the pitch before hitting over midwicket for a one-bounce four. He’s clearly unimpressed with this, and when he does it again the ball goes straight down the ground for six. Twelve runs off the over, the joint most expensive of the match (Mark Wood bowled the other, from which Warner scored 11 and Rogers a single).
21st over: England 65-4 (Cook 17, Stokes 22)
Hazlewood continues, and Stokes gets a single to mid off, and England defend or leave the rest.
20th over: England 64-4 (Cook 17, Stokes 21)
Lyon bowls, Stokes pulls and the ball hits Voges at short leg, and hits him hard. He goes down, but is up commendably quickly, given the state his hip is probably in currently. Still, he prevented a certain boundary. “I think that clatter of wickets might have been my fault,” admits Phil Sawyer. “Rather like in the Avengers movie when Bruce Banner realises he’s been unconsciously waving Loki’s staff around while tempers start to fray, after the Root wicket I looked down and realised that unnoticed I’d picked up a cricket ball and been absentmindedly tossing it from hand to hand since the start of the England innings. I’ve put it down now and picked up a drink instead, which seems the only sensible reaction to this shambles.” And indeed seems to have been England’s approach at tea.
19th over: England 63-4 (Cook 17, Stokes 20)
Hazlewood bowls short at Cook, and the England captain pulls it away for four. The pitch appears to have had a dizzy half-hour, after which it has now settled down. “I wish Shane Warne would stop talking about his poker exploits,” writes Peter Harmer. “Does he not realise there’s only one person I’d listen to poker stories from while watching the cricket, and that’s James Bond? And then only because I wouldn’t want to upset a heavily armed, trained killer who seems to have number of issues he expresses through extreme violence.” I’m not much of a cardsman these days, but in my experience people don’t even talk about poker very much when they’re playing poker.
18th over: England 59-4 (Cook 13, Stokes 20)
Stokes diverts the ball off his pads to the square leg boundary, and then pushes past mid on for four more. Calm, competent, unhurried strokemaking.
When England lose Ashes Tests, they do so in style. They were slaughtered in 05, 09 and 10-11 yet won each series. Folk need to calm down.
Alternatively: LYTH, BELL AND BALLANCE OUT, BRING IN MORGAN, KP AND HALES.
17th over: England 50-4 (Cook 12, Stokes 12)
Hazlewood is back, after a change of ends, and England reach 50 in appropriate style, Stokes edging wide of the slips for four. “On the bright side, possibly we will now hear a little less of this nonsense about playing-the-game-the-right-way and positive-cricket and playing-with-a-smile-on-their-face and how these are indispensable and compulsory for all players on the way to the promised land,” says John Cox. “If the present debacle teaches some of the more tiresome post-Cardiff gloaters that (i) it is possible to play too positively (ii) there is no ‘right’ way to play any sport worth playing and it would be damned dull if there were, and (iii) Curtly A, Don B, Steve W and Alan Border didn’t need a smile to play pretty decent cricket, then something at least will have been achieved.”
16th over: England 46-4 (Cook 12, Stokes 8)
Nice shot from Cook, who flicks Starc past square leg for four and becomes the second English batsman to reach double figures. “Hang on, I’m supposed to be watching this at Lords tomorrow. At this rate there’ll be nothing to see but the miserable last dregs of a follow-on,” complains Rob Wright. “Australia look immensely pumped up for this. I have to take some responsibility for that, as I was among the England fans raining scorn upon them last weekend at Cardiff. How quickly things change…”
15th over: England 41-4 (Cook 8, Stokes 8)
After drinks, Johnson bowls a maiden to Cook. Four whole overs since the last wicket, and some semblance of sanity is settling on Lord’s once more. But for how long? “So what happened to the pitch which was blamed for being a bowler’s graveyard yesterday?” wonders Barry Sharp. It’s still a slow pitch, which is why it helps when you can bowl at 91mph (Johnson has topped that today).
Remarkable commitment from England to keeping the game going forward after Australia spent five sessions holding things up
Ian Bell has been dismissed after scoring 1 run in 5 of his last 10 Test innings http://t.co/JU1LaBEsC7
14th over: England 41-4 (Cook 8, Stokes 8)
A relatively sedate over from Starc, all leaves and fends. Cook gets a single. “Adam Lyth turned himself into the top county batsman in 2014 by learning to leave the ball,” writes Tim Sanders. “In 2013 he was always nicking off after a little cameo, but in 2014 he increased his average from 30 to 70, whilst his strike rate dropped from 62 to 52. An Ashes series is the same game by the same rules, but it just shows what the occasion can do to a player. Paul Farbrace was his coach for Yorkshire who helped him to the top of the averages, so hopefully he can help him again.” Fingers crossed.
This is the 1st time that 3 of England's top 5 have been dismissed for 1 run or less in 160 Ashes Tests at home http://t.co/sDKgMaVAHP
13th over: England 40-4 (Cook 7, Stokes 8)
Johnson bowls again, and you almost expect to see steam coming out of his nose like a cartoon bull as he charges in, happy to be trampling over the assumption that he can’t bowl in England. Stokes hits wide of mid-off for a nice and apparently untroubled four. “Having a new positive Brand of cricket is all well and good unless you’re facing a huge total and need to bat two days. This is just stupid,” writes Duncan Smith. “Like playing 1-1-8 when you’re 2-0 down twenty minutes into a football match. Get in, stay in, then play some shots.” But England’s batsmen haven’t been getting out to aggressive shots – they’ve been getting out to stupid shots, or a total absence of shots.
12th over: England 32-4 (Cook 7, Stokes 0)
Oooh! Another inside edge, this time Cook deflects the ball just past the stumps. Still, it brings two runs, so that’s something.
Ian Bell's fifth dismissal for 1 in Tests in 2015. Ties Dean Headley's record of five 1s in a year, set in 1998. http://t.co/97EKtPHXqp
Last time England went 1-0 up in a home Ashes (1997), they were dismissed for 77 in first innings of the second Test. There's your target
11th over: England 30-4 (Cook 5, Stokes 0)
Oooh! Stokes inside-edges his first delivery into his back foot, and then safe! Could have gone anywhere, that. And then there’s a big shout as there’s a sound when the ball flies through to the keeper, but the ball just hit trouser. The last ball is full and fast again, but heading down leg side. Stokes squirms uncomfortably. “No doubt there’ll be soon doom ‘n’ glooming, but is this not how England play these days?” writes Paul Devlin. “Only 8 batsmen allowed, and Root to do it all himself? Worked in Cardiff, and (so far) Cook and Root are still at the crease, so no major alarm bells. Hell, Root can probably get the 337 still needed himself!” Um …
Boos ringing out at Lord’s now (I think – always hard to tell when Root’s involved) as England’s saviour is sent packing in short order, as Johnson bowls short and wide, Root goes after it and gets the slightest edge – inaudible on the television – through to Nevill.
10th over: England 30-3 (Cook 5, Root 1)
So here we are then. So far this series England have been 43-3, 73-3 and now 29-3. Then there was 62-3, 74-3 and 25-3 against New Zealand (with, it’s true, a 238-3 along the way). It’s not even in the vague vicinity of the farthest outskirts of good enough, really. Still, they bat long.
Speaking of jaffers...Josh Hazlewood in amongst them!! #Ashes
England are in a hole now, and digging furiously. Full and straight, Bell doesn’t judge it, and out comes his off stump.
9th over: England 29-2 (Cook 5, Bell 1)
Johnson’s first delivery is pushed back past mid-off and away for four. He never looked happy, but at least he made some runs – 23 from 29 balls at that stage. Two balls and no further runs later, he’s gone. A bit of away swing on that wicket-taking delivery, but really Ballance was beaten for pace, and by his own technical foibles.
Ballance's depth in the crease counts against him once more: England teetering at 28 for 2
Fast, full and straight, and Ballance gets nowhere near it, the ball nicking leg stump on its way through!
8th over: England 24-1 (Ballance 19, Cook 5)
Ballance fields five more deliveries as his examination continues, before finally getting a single. And now he’s got to face Johnson.
@Simon_Burnton Is Cook's post-2012 form partly due to unsettled opening partners? Compton, Carberry, Robson, now Lyth...
7th over: England 23-1 (Ballance 18, Cook 5)
Starc bowls, and England score singles from the final two deliveries. I quite like these little interviews, and someone’s sending them to me, so I’ll keep posting them. Here’s Michael Palin. They’ve really had quite a lot of celebrities at Lord’s over the last couple of days – Cardiff, strangely, seemed less attractive.
6th over: England 21-1 (Ballance 17, Cook 4)
Another Ballance boundary, though it takes a couple of replays to be sure that Lyon didn’t just stop it in time at backward point, and it came from an outside edge. Even for someone who basically always looks uncomfortable at the crease, Ballance is looking uncomfortable at the moment. “I’m sure you don’t want the OBO to become a forum for matching dwindling cricket clubs with nomad cricketers, but I’ve dropped my team Pacific CC right in it this week by pulling out at the last minute and we need some players,” begs Tom Ireland. “Does anyone reading (literally anyone) fancy taking to the field for us on Sunday in the leafy Essex ‘burb of Fairlop? Preferably an ex-pro local to the area. Or failing that, someone who can just get in the way of a ball. The match starts at 1pm, and promises a good tea plus all the nuances that come with an old-fashioned timed game. Please help.” You’re right, I wouldn’t want that. But a game of cricket in Fairlop sounds appealing enough to potentially attract someone.
5th over: England 17-1 (Ballance 13, Cook 4)
Hazlewood bowls short and wideish, and Ballance leans back and nicks it – apparently deliberately – between third and fourth slips. “It’s almost like a coach giving slip practice,” says Mike Atherton. He gets away with it, and is rewarded with four runs.
4th over: England 10-1 (Ballance 6, Cook 4)
England reach double figures (a minor landmark, but still) and Cook gets off the mark with a flick off his legs through midwicket. And then he’s tempted by a full delivery that whistles just past the bat on its way through. England’s total is already 1.8% of Australia’s, and they’ve barely started. This is going to be easy.
3rd over: England 6-1 (Ballance 6, Cook 0)
Ballance gets a couple from the first ball of another hostile over from Starc – the last ball whooshes about six inches wide of the batsman’s nose. And that really was a shocker of a shot from Lyth, given the match situation and the ease with which he could have left that ball. It doesn’t get any better for repeated viewing. “I’ve no problem with the analysis of OBO language, what ever fills the day,” writes Lennie Lenford. “Its the lack of benchmarking that disappoints me. He needs to go back and compare the Cardiff test, to begin with.” Besides, it’s only bias if we’re not also negative about England’s batsmen – which, to be fair, we often are.
Cook leaves the first ball of Hazlewood’s over – and regrets it, as the ball smacks into his groinal area. Fortunately he’s wearing a box this time. The bowler then gets very excited when the ball flicks Cook’s trousers on its way through – nobody else raises so much as an eyebrow. A maiden.
1st over: England 4-1 (Ballance 4, Cook 0)
The umpires check that Starc didn’t overstep, and though he was very close, his heel fell the right side of the line. That was the second ball of the innings – Lyth having defended the first, so the catch was Nevill’s first ever piece of Test-match wicketkeeping. Ballance clips the first ball of his innings off his pads and past square leg for four. “I was once chastised in school by a PE teacher when I told him I reckoned we might lose an upcoming rugby match,” writes Ant Pease. “He told me to be more positive, to which I replied “Ok – I’m sure we’re going to lose.”
Horrible, horrible start to England’s innings. A bit of width, Lyth swishes at the ball, and Nevill has a debut catch in Test cricket – he won’t get any easier.
Out come England openers, under grey skies now in St John’s Wood. Focus focus focus focus focus.
Australia, day one: 337 runs, one wicket (and that one doesn’t really count). Australia, day two: 229 runs, seven wickets.
So, what now for England?
149th over: Australia 566-8 (Starc 12)
Johnson takes a fantastically massive heave at the first ball post-tea, missing it completely, then has a gloriously enormous heave at the third, and misses it too – this one bounces six inches over the stumps. They do put bat to ball a few times, though, and earn a two and a couple of singles for their pains, before Johnson gets out off the final ball. And with that, the declaration comes! “Has it occurred to Mr Surely You’ve Got Something Better To Do Than Analyse OBO Language that maybe, just maybe, Australian commentators might be slightly more prone to hyperbole than English ones, regardless of who’s winning?” wonders Michael Morris. “I’ve always felt our Antipodean friends have many gifts, but understatement is not always among them…”
Johnson spoons the final ball of the over up, a bit more up, a little bit further up, and then down, down and down into the hands of Anderson at mid off.
Dean Jones says the Smith lbw decision was “morally wrong”:
Technically out to the letter of the letter of the law.. Morally wrong https://t.co/47lDLRuErP
There has been no teatime declaration, and England come back out, tasked with frustrating what I expect will be an attempted assault on the run-rate.
Hello again!
Someone’s done a detailed analysis of the language used in yesterday’s OBO. Australian OBO coverage was twice as positive about Australian players as we were, apparently. I’m going to be incredibly positive from now on, just you wait and see.
That’s the tea interval then and another fairly even session. England wouldn’t be too displeased with their performance... had they not let Australia rack up 337 for bloody one on the first day. As it is, it’s Australia’s to not win from here.
Simon Burnton is going to take you through to the close. Cheers for all your emails and sorry I couldn’t use them all.
148th over: Australia 562-7 (Starc 11, Johnson 13) Think this will be the last over before tea then, Root with it and he fires the second ball down the leg side, looking to counter Johnson’s charge. Alas there is no charge and it just skips on its merry way down to the boundary for four byes. The final ball is carved out to deep cover, where two fielders converge and eventually decide to gather the ball, by which time Australia had taken two runs.
147th over: Australia 557-7 (Starc 11, Johnson 11) Moeen Ali replaces Wood and Starc promptly lifts him over cow corner for six. That was a proper shot too, good body shape, swinging the bat in a pleasing arc – not your hideous IPL slog, that one.
146th over: Australia 551-7 (Starc 5, Johnson 11) Starc turns it round the corner for two, then clumps out to Stokes for a single. That makes it 551-7.
“If I was Clarke, writes Martin Sinclair, “I’d come out for 10 minutes after tea. Cook and Lyth will be expecting the declaration, so do something different to try and unnerve them a bit. Make them forget about their pads and go out to field for a few minutes, let Johnson swing his exceptionally muscley arms and score a few quick runs, then declare.”
145th over: Australia 548-7 (Starc 2, Johnson 11) One to square leg for Johnson, then a leg bye off of Starc’s hip. It’ll be interesting to see how Starc moves between the wickets. Johnson saves his best for the last ball, as Wood bowls short and wide, and Johnson rocks back and cuts elegantly through point for four.
“Surely that’s showing the pitching outside off, which is very much ok,” says Tom Barneby. “The impact on the stumps is umpire’s call, which isn’t shown, no?”
144th over: Australia 542-7 (Starc 2, Johnson 6) Starc clips Root out to midwicket for a couple to get off the mark. I guess Clarke will wait until tea now as there’s only 10 minutes left in the session and he wouldn’t have time to have a go at them now, what with the innings changeover.
143rd over: Australia 540-7 (Starc 0, Johnson 6) Johnson stands tall and clubs hard through mid off for four. Can’t see this innings going much past tea, to be honest. That’s the only scoring shot from the over.
Daniel, my celeb pal from Esben and the Witch, writes: “Keeping you up to date with my traveling Ashes observations we are in a village in Northern Italy called Santa Maria Della Versa and i think Its probably now worth just admitting Steve Smith is a an awkward looking unconventional genius right? Like a champagne Kim Barnett.”
142nd over: Australia 536-7 (Starc 0, Johnson 2) So Peter Nevill goes for a well-made 45 on debut. There’s an appeal for lbw first ball against Starc too, bowling round the wicket to the left-hander, but it’s taken an inside edge by the looks of things. Given not out anyway. Starc then goes for a big slog, gets another inside edge, and the ball cannons into Buttler’s pad.
Lawrence Aggleton makes a good point here on DRS: “Firstly, I know this argument is tired and math-y, so apologies. The decisions on this seems bizarre. It seems to boil down to: 1) if given out and any part of the ball was going to even brush the stumps then out; and 2) if given not out and some of the ball must be going on to hit middle stump and fully below the bails then out.
Nevill goes after it, but plays a way away from his body. He slaps it straight to Ali at mid off, who takes a good low catch.
141st over: Australia 534-6 (Nevill 44, Johnson 1) A big woolly drive from Johnson connects with naught but disgusting St. John’s Wood air as Wood just gets one to seam away a wee bit. I’ve just had another look at the Hawkeye replay of the Smith wicket. It’s ludicrous as I’ll point out in the next over. This one’s a maiden.
140th over: Australia 534-6 (Nevill 44, Johnson 1) Root floats one up, tossing it high in the air, and Smith stands tall and imposing to it, driving off the back foot but only to the sweeper. Nevill shovels one over his shoulder and then Smith’s magnificent innings comes to an end. Joe Root has blown this wide open. Ahem. Johnson is off the mark with a push down the ground.
Smith gets cocky going for the reverse sweep and is struck low, right in front of off. There’s no bat on it, but he was a long way forward. I reckon this is out... yep it’s hitting middle and off.
Given out on the field...
139th over: Australia 531-5 (Nevill 43, Smith 214) Four more to Nevill, rocking back and cutting hard at a short one outside off from Wood; it’s off the top edge, but it’s high over the slips and safely down to third man. There’s an appeal for lbw a few balls later as Wood gets one to tail into the batsman’s pads, only he does so via a thick inside edge.
People who love TMS but hate that pesky commentary are going to love this audio of Steve Smith reaching his double century.
138th over: Australia 527-5 (Nevill 39, Smith 214) Nevill comes down the track to Root and lifts him over mid on for four runs. I expect that Australia are going to put their collective foot down now and declare shortly after tea, especially given the poor weather forecast for Sunday.
“I’m with Ryan Mitchell (over 131),” writes Ryan Mitchell. “I had forgotten how good Jimmy was last week when he took his customary no wickets in Aussie’s second innings. Leader of the attack my sizable backside. Go hiding, moan for a ball change, bowl well at Trent Bridge, cue media fawning. Leading them all into triple figures.”
137th over: Australia 521-5 (Nevill 34, Smith 213) Change of bowling and a change of pace as Wood replaces Ali. Smith plays an absolutely gorgeous cut shot, leaning into a wide one and playing such a fluid looking stroke. Disappointingly for him, there’s a sweeper out and that keeps him to one. On Sky, Botham notices that Stokes looked to be in some discomfort when throwing the ball back to the keeper. Wood then tries the slower ball, but Smith clumps that one out to deep square leg for four more.
136th over: Australia 512-5 (Nevill 32, Smith 207) A nice crisp drive by Smith should be comfortably fielded at cover by Broad, but he fumbles to allow three. Nevill then comes down the track and cracks it hard, past silly mid on and away for four. That was in the air for a short while, but was hit far too hard for there to be a realistic chance.
Smith’s 200, the first overseas by an Australian batsman since Jason Gillespie, featured 24 fours, one six and some of the finest strokeplay you’ll see this summer.
135th over: Australia 505-5 (Nevill 27, Smith 204) Moeen from the other end and Smith turns him out to midwicket. Nevill does the same a couple of balls later and Stokes makes rather a mess, kind of falling over the ball, as the 500 comes up. Smith one away... and he whips the fifth ball of the over crisply through the same region for four! Played, Steve.
134th over: Australia 498-5 (Nevill 26, Smith 198) Hello again folks. First ball after drinks is bowled by Joe Root – as will the subsequent five be – and Steve Smith cuts it nicely behind point for four. A push out to deep mid on moves him on to 198, before Nevill turns one off his pad just wide of leg slip and down to long leg for two.
133rd over: Australia 490-5 (Smith 193, Nevill 24)
One run, one review, no wickets, and someone runs on carrying three bottles of drinks and a banana. It’s drinks! And back to Dan Lucas for the remainder of the session. Bye for now!
The ball would have hit leg stump pretty firmly, but not quite firmly enough to overturn the umpire’s (not great) on-field decision.
The umpire didn’t, mind. Let’s check those replays!
132nd over: Australia 490-5 (Smith 192, Nevill 24)
The lack of a fielder at third man is making scoring easy (even easier) for Australia. Smith works the ball there off the face of his bat and gets four for his troubles. A single later, the ball clips Nevill on the pads and skips away for four leg byes.
England's plan to get Steve Smith back up to No1 in world - where he averages just 33 - working a treat. Bloke's fallen right into the trap
131st over: Australia 480-5 (Smith 187, Nevill 24)
Smith sends the ball screaming to the square leg boundary with a slog sweep, the only scoring from Moeen’s latest over. “Jimmy Anderson will ton up today,” predicts Ryan Mitchell. “At key times, he performs this badly. His batting is really, really terrible. Why no Johnson-like derision?” Because people can still remember when he was really good. Such as last week, for example.
130th over: Australia 476-5 (Smith 183, Nevill 24)
Anderson bowls to Nevill, who feels nervously for the ball with a straight bat, and it flies just past the edge. He recovers to score two twos. Cook leaves the field briefly, being replaced by Jordan Price, who Google suggests normally plays for South Woodford and, never mind Australia, generally considers Wanstead to be “a good test”. Bumble gets a bit excited, apparently because popular British glamour model Jordan’s given surname is Price.
129th over: Australia 472-5 (Smith 182, Nevill 20)
Three more for Nevill, who’s rattling along at just over a run a ball (he’s faced 19). “it just goes to show that prevailing opinions such as wine snobbery have to give way to particulars,” notes John Starbuck, “which in this case is that my wife finds that white wine doesn’t agree with her so she avoids it – except for Prosecco and Champagne.” Bubbles make everything better.
128th over: Australia 468-5 (Smith 182, Nevill 17)
Anderson replaces Broad, and … ooooh! Short and wide from Anderson, and Nevill edges hard and high, just out of the reach of Root at gully. Four runs.
127th over: Australia 464-5 (Smith 182, Nevill 13)
Oooh! Australia take a risky three to Broad at deep square leg, whose throw to the bowler’s end forces Moeen a yard or so wide of the stumps and allows Nevill to ground his bat – a perfectly accurate throw would have done for him there. And then Smith gets a four through point. “Have now stepped out of the office for a puff on the ecig three times, and come back to three wickets,” writes James Greene. “Lobbying the boss to let me take half an hour or so to come back to the lower order skittled.”
126th over: Australia 457-5 (Smith 178, Nevill 10)
Six more runs, shared three apiece. “Hubby had a call from a, let’s call him a scammer, from India who informed him that there was a problem with his computer,” writes Mandy Cheevers in Melbourne. “In response hubby said ‘That’s strange it’s been on all day.’ The fellow was momentarily put off but reconfirmed that the computer had indeed been on all day then he rallied and asked what hubby thought of Sachin Tendulkar. Hubby responded saying ‘Oh he’s the greatest batsman in the world.’ The scammer responded saying ‘That’s the correct answer,’ and politely ended the call.” Nice. I had a very similar experience once, except it wasn’t on the phone, and the guy asked about Bobby Charlton. And he wasn’t trying to scam me. And I was in the Czech Republic. If I recall correctly, I bought some vegetables from him.
125th over: Australia 451-5 (Smith 175, Nevill 7)
Nevill edges low and wide of slip for his first three Test runs, and then deliberately works the ball in a very similar direction for four.
124th over: Australia 442-5 (Smith 173, Nevill 0)
Forget the pitch, Broad insists, credit for the wicket is all mine, demonstrating how he rolled his fingers across the ball at the moment of release, slowing it down and causing the lack of bounce. A wicket maiden, his third wicket of the day, means he’ll be getting plenty of credit either way.
Marsh has been done here by one that stayed low, and clipped the bottom of his bat on its way into the stumps!
123rd over: Australia 442-4 (Smith 173, Marsh 12)
A Moeen maiden, largely thanks to one smart stop by Cook at short mid on. Dermot O’Leary used to work behind the bar (well, one of the bars) at Lord’s. There’s a thing.
122nd over: Australia 442-4 (Smith 173, Marsh 12)
Broad bowls, and Smith works the ball down towards third man, though Stokes catches up with it and the batsmen run three. Broad bowls again, and Marsh works the ball down towards third man, and this time there’s no point Stokes running for it at all. “I’ve just finished preparing and eating a pile of toast with lots of chicken pate to spread on it, helped down with a large glass of Primitivo,” writes John Starbuck, who has gone ahead and sent in his lunch tip. “My wife and I both enjoy this as a summer alternative to the usual fare.” *wine snob alert* I’d be more inclined to go with something white for a summer lunchtime, especially with pate – perhaps a riesling? *end winesnobbery*
121st over: Australia 433-4 (Smith 170, Marsh 6)
Moeen again. Smith snatches a single from the first ball of the over, and Marsh sees out the rest very easily indeed.
@Simon_Burnton what joy it is to be in an office full of English people on a day like this
120th over: Australia 433-4 (Smith 169, Marsh 6)
In comes Marsh, and he pushes his first ball past mid off for four, easy as you like. “I feel Clarke made a colossal error of judgment by not springing a surprise declaration over lunch,” writes James Sloan. I don’t see that at all – Australia should be trying to make sure they don’t have to bat again, and 430-odd isn’t enough to have this match won.
A wicket! A little bit of movement, an absolutely tiny nick, and an easy catch for Buttler!
119th over: Australia 426-3 (Smith 169, Voges 25)
Moeen gets play back under way, and Cook takes a sharp catch at leg slip, though the ball had diverted to him off Voges’ pads rather than his bat.
@Simon_Burnton as someone who lives near your offices, there are far more lunch options than just that pret. Stop being lazy.
Certainly no sign of rain right now, but there’s a shower of applause in the long room as the players come back out for the afternoon session.
“Is it wrong to pray for rain – especially since I’m getting married in the great outdoors of South East England tomorrow?” wonders Tony Cunningham. “A great wedding day for me and my Mrs (and our guests) … or potential happiness for our whole nation by avoiding defeat against Australia?” I would say, in these particular circumstances, your betrothed might have grounds to be somewhat miffed, yes.
Hello! So, a session in which something happened, which is nice. I still think that if I were in the Australia dressing room I’d be encouraging them to bat naturally, not to take risks, and to keep going until they hit quadruple figures. I know they’re 1-0 down in the series and might be tempted to chase a win here, but there are lots of Tests, lots of series, lots of Ashes series. Nobody has ever scored 1,000 Test runs. In front of them there are two paths, one leading to a land of legends, and the other to the possibility of a brief celebration, a beer and a smile, and then nothing. Take the right path, guys. Warner gave his wicket away, Clarke got out to a misguided shot and the kind of decision that batsmen make when there are 383 runs on the board and a queue of batsmen in the dressing-room. My advice: bat wisely, make history.
On Sky they’re talking about Steve Smith, “allegedly the best batsman in the world,” according to David Gower. Love that allegedly.
Well that’s better for England, a couple of wickets and they bowled nicely. That said, it is still 424-3 and this pair look in fine nick. Simon Burnton will be with you for the first hour after tea, so I’ll leave you with a few emails.
118th over: Australia 424-3 (Voges 24, Smith 168) Wood to bowl what will probably be the last over before lunch. Voges is on strike for it and presents the full face of the bat to see off every ball.
117th over: Australia 424-3 (Voges 24, Smith 168) Short, rank rubbish from Ali to Smith, who stands there, waits a while, has a cigarette, downloads the new Wilco album, listens to it (it’s only 35 minutes), goes for a comfort break, sends a couple of funny Tweets, adjusts his pads, adjusts his helmet, writes a blog about how good he thinks the new Wilco album is, makes a tea and then pulls it square for four.
116th over: Australia 420-3 (Voges 24, Smith 164) Change of ends for Wood, who switches to the Nursery End. He starts with a fairly loose one, short, wide and cut to backward point for two by Smith. Earlier today, Rogers made the fifth highest Test score by an Australian at Lord’s and it looks entirely possible that Smith will knock him out of that top five at some point in the afternoon session.
On Smith, John Starbuck emails with news of Geoff Boycott’s idea: “Geoffrey’s come up with a novel idea: fast bowlers should release the ball a stride or two from the bowling crease, before Smith begins his trigger movement towards off. He can be a pain at times, Boycott, but you have to admit he’s no mug.” It’s a decent ploy, but that might well mess up the bowler’s rhythm as much as it does the batsman’s.
115th over: Australia 417-3 (Voges 24, Smith 161) Another single to Smith, swiped agriculturally out to deep mid off. He looks to be ready for lunch now. As am I – the train was late this morning and the queue at Pret was enormous.
114th over: Australia 416-3 (Voges 24, Smith 160) A shovel into the legside apiece brings a single for Smith but then twice that for Voges. He’s looking in very good touch. England have bowled pretty well this morning, much better than yesterday, but this is very good from Australia.
Another You Are The Umpire for us from Robin Hazlehurst: “In a not-very-serious match I was facing a rookie bowler who launched the ball with as much height as length. It was still above shoulder height when it passed me, so the umpire called wide, but it was descending and continued its trajectory onto my stumps, meaning I was given out. Was the umpire’s interpretation legitimate in giving a wide (rather than a no-ball) and if so am I alone in having been clean bowled off a wide?”
113th over: Australia 413-3 (Voges 22, Smith 159) For the third over on the spin, Smith gets it underway with a quick single. Voges then gets another boundary, albeit his least convincing yet, as he reaches a long way outside off to play the paddles sweep and only just about gets bat on ball to feather it down to long leg.
112th over: Australia 408-3 (Voges 18, Smith 158) A scampered single to Smith from the first ball brings up Australia’s 400, before Voges flicks one off his pads for four to fine leg. It’s been a very breezy start from Voges, who has three boundaries in his 14. Make that four from his 18, as he rocks forward and cracks a half volley through extra cover.
Tom Gauterin answers the question on why Bradman sent down 2.2 overs in that 1938 Test:
111th over: Australia 399-3 (Voges 10, Smith 157) Time for some spin, with Moeen Ali getting his first go of the morning. Smith likes the look of him and dances down the track to his first ball, getting to the pitch and driving to mid off for one. Voges then uses his wrists really nicely, going for a full one and driving through mid on, Laxman-style, for four.
On the best cricketer names, Eamonn Maloney writes: “At risk of redirecting the riff, but I can’t let a comment like that slide without pointing you in the direction of my alltime favourite (a current player too!) - up and coming Zimbabwean middle order batsman Joylord Gumbie.”
110th over: Australia 394-3 (Voges 6, Smith 156) Stokes goes up for lbw against Smith, who plays all around one angled back in. He’s a long way back, but it’s hit him above the pad and is going well over. Stokes responds by going wider, overpitching and getting driven through cover for four. Another big appeal from Stokes, against Voges this time, and it’s given not out. After a good think, Cook opts to review, surely out of desperation. Actually it’s not a bad shout, the ball hitting him on the knee roll on the front foot. Umpire’s call though on where it’s hit and the height.
109th over: Australia 389-3 (Voges 6, Smith 151) Wood continues and Voges gets off the mark on his kinda-home ground with a very sweet pull from a bouncer outside off, through midwicket for four. A nudge off the hips brings two more.
Sam Jordison has some questions on England’s 903 declaration back in 1938:
108th over: Australia 383-3 (Voges 0, Smith 151) A couple more before lunch would make this a dominant session for England and do wonders for their confidence. Another maiden from the parsimonious-so-far-this-morning Stokes.
Either Clarke showed it's not so easy to bat out there, or that the way he's batting it's difficult prettymuch anywhere #Ashes2015
107th over: Australia 383-3 (Voges 0, Smith 151) I’ve just spotted the typo in the last entry; refresh and it will magically disappear. Wood sends down a rare wide one outside off and Clarke’s eyes light up, but he gets a bit too excited and swings and misses. More discomfort for Clarke as a short one takes the shoulder of the bat but lands safe, but he’s gone next ball! Ballance didn’t have to move and took it comfortably at head height. He very coolly tossed the ball straight to the umpire after taking it, too. A wicket maiden.
Clarke goes after the bouncer, doesn’t keep it down and his hook flies straight into the hands of square leg!
106th over: Australia 383-2 (Clarke 7, Smith 151) Clarke drives sweetly straight to the fielder at backward point, but it bobbles, there’s a misfield and he gets a run. Smith follows this with four of the things, getting across and just gently pushing it back past the bowler to bring up his 150. Well batted. He should have another boundary as Stokes gives him a wide half volley that’s begging to be put away, but Anderson stops this one well at backward point.
105th over: Australia 378-2 (Clarke 6, Smith 147) We’re back from drinks and I’m back from the loo. Wood is continuing, bowling from wide of the crease but still not creating a lot. Maiden again.
On Tom Hopkins’ hole in Calgary:
104th over: Australia 378-2 (Clarke 6, Smith 147) Broad, who didn’t bowl a single bouncer to Clarke, is given a rest/hooked* and replaced by Stokes, who begins with a fuss free maiden, featuring nothing to trouble the batsman, before drinks.
*Delete as per how much you like Stuart Broad.
103rd over: Australia 378-2 (Clarke 6, Smith 147) Wood’s pace may be down, but there is at least a touch of movement for him. Quite late too, although that’s no good if you get your line wrong to the batsman and allow him to knock it through the onside. He does so three times, going for a two and a one to Clarke and a two to Smith. The last ball takes the hip and goes down to fine leg for a couple of leg-byes.
102nd over: Australia 371-2 (Clarke 3, Smith 145) Two runs from the over, clips behind square on the leg side. They’re that similar that I thought one was a replay of the other.
101st over: Australia 369-2 (Clarke 2, Smith 144) Change of bowling as Wood comes into the attack. His pace is well down from where it could be – just around 82mph. He’s got another 10 in him, but his line is good – wicket to wicket and making Smith play. Play he does, whipping a single to deep backward square for the only run of the over.
“I’m stuck at work in London with the OBO, writes Heather, “but my little brother back in Oz has just timed this perfectly: my new niece made her debut last night in such a hurry that she arrived in the back of the car on the side of the road outside the local Pet Barn. My brother now has a few weeks off work in which he’s volunteering for any and all night duties as he’ll be up anyway watching the cricket! Brisbane is in the middle of a wicked cold snap right now so my other niece’s suggestions of ‘Elsa’ or ‘Ana’ for the new arrival were being taken under advisement, but after yesterday I wonder if ‘Christine’ or ‘Stephanie’ may make the top ten.”
100th over: Australia 368-2 (Clarke 2, Smith 143) Still no change of bowling and that feels like a good move. Clarke is tentative against Broad, not willing to get forward, and the result is a big wafty play and miss as he goes after a wide, full one. Good stuff this from Broad. Gets him fishing like an OBOer desperate for emails a couple of balls later, too.
99th over: Australia 368-2 (Clarke 2, Smith 143) A bouncer from round the wicket isn’t going to trouble Steve Smith, who nails his hook shot round the corner – in the air a while but nowhere near a fielder and safely away for four. The rest of the over is entirely without incident, save five balls being bowled, which gives us time to catch up on emails!
Someone whose name is only Sam, apparently, writes: “I notice no one is mentioning the possibility of large volumes of rain on Sunday (and a little on Monday), giving the possibility of an even more boring draw with hardly anything to watch on the weekend. What fun!”
98th over: Australia 364-2 (Clarke 2, Smith 139) Optimistic England are back as Cook brings in a short leg for Michael Clarke, whose record against Broad is pretty ordinary; the latter having got the former 10 times in Tests. Broad sends down a couple of wide ones, then brings it back in, which Clarke doesn’t look too comfortable with. He’s more comfortable with one on leg though, clumping it out to deep midwicket for a couple.
Chris Rogers' 173 today is the joint-fourth highest score he has made on this ground.
97th over: Australia 362-2 (Clarke 0, Smith 139) In an attempt to stop Smith from shuffling across to off, Anderson is coming round the wicket now. The batsman’s response is to take guard a mile outside leg and then move across early. A maiden, the result. Anderson will be glad to see the back of Rogers, who took him for a fair few after getting hit first ball this morning.
“Morning Dan,” writes Tom Hopkins. “Here’s one for the Bowden wannabes. I watched a game in Calgary recently and there was a big hole (big as in about five feet square with orange plastic fencing to stop people falling in) about ten yards behind the stumps at one end. Any thoughts on what rules might be applied to deal with this surprise feature?”
96th over: Australia 362-2 (Clarke 0, Smith 139) Full and wide from Broad and that draws a false stroke from Smith, an inside edge out to square leg. A single brings Rogers on strike and he too is tempted into driving at a wide one, only he nails it through cover for four more. He tries again next ball though, getting forward too late, and that does for him! It’s the first wicket England have actually earned in this match, you would think.
Lots of talk in the inbox over whether it’s “batter” or “batsman”. As far as I know, “batter” is thought of as the politically correct term, but then I can’t remember anyone being offended by “batsman”. If you’re a woman and are offended, do write in.
Bloody hell it’s out! Broad bowls it on a length, gets it to move slightly back into the batsman, who is looking to drive expansively. It takes the faintest inside edge and crashes into middle and leg.
95th over: Australia 357-1 (Rogers 169, Smith 138) Steve Smith seems to have all the time in the world. Anderson isn’t the slowest, but by the time his first ball reaches the batsman outside off stump, he’s come right across to meet it and punch it down to long on for four. That’s four boundaries off Jimmy so far this morning.
94th over: Australia 352-1 (Rogers 169, Smith 133) Broad hits Rogers on the pad with one that nips back and keeps a touch low, but it pitched a long way outside leg and, though the angle was bringing it back into the batsman, it was swinging back and probably missing too. The next ball is a similar one, a touch shorter, and knocked down to long leg for two.
93rd over: Australia 350-1 (Rogers 167, Smith 133) Anderson’s first ball is, I think, an attempted bouncer from round the wicket. It doesn’t get up, there’s no short leg in place and it’s easily turned away for a single. A couple of balls later, Smith brings up the 350 by driving a half volley perfectly through cover for four. There’s half a shout for lbw as Jimmy goes straighter, but the ball took the inside edge and probably hit outside the line in any case.
The email in that last entry was from Bob Miller, by the way. Sorry, Bob.
92nd over: Australia 345-1 (Rogers 166, Smith 129) From the Nursery End, Stuart Broad, with three very close slips. He nearly finds them with the first ball, albeit not off the bat but rather wide and swinging further away. “I think England had a pretty good day yesterday,” says Warne. He’s not even taking the piss. Broad’s final ball is full, outside off and has Smith fishing.
“Considering it is as beautifully smooth as the pitch can we start bowling on the honours board? Then every other batter (it isn’t batsman anymore, deal with it) could just write their names on it while they’re there.”
91st over: Australia 345-1 (Rogers 166, Smith 129) Jimmy Anderson will get things underway with the nine-overs-old ball. The sun is breaking through and oof! Rogers ducks into the very first ball, takes his eye off it and wears it hard on the side of the head. It didn’t bounce that high, but Rogers didn’t play it that well – it caught him on the neck protecting flap at the back of the helmet. It’s very lucky that he’s wearing the new style, especially with his history of concussion. As it is, it’s just a cut behind the ear and he’s OK to continue. And continue he does nicely, driving a wide, floaty one through cover for four, which brings up the record for any Australian partnership in England, beating Taylor and Slater’s 260 in 1993. Anderson responds with another bouncer, but then Rogers drives another full one behind point for four more.
Players are out. We’ll be playing cricket soon, I would imagine.
And another:
@DanLucas86 Trying to be positive, am I the only one who thinks 3 days bowling on this might just break the Mitchells?
A few emails.
“Not sure what approach to adopt here,” begins Ian Copestake, who is quick to make his mind up. “Blind optimism or grim acceptance of the inevitable. The latter obviously.”
Simon Burnton has arrived in the office.“They could be legends!” he says of Australia. They could make history. Make 903, win it in four days. Simple.
My thinking is that if they try to break that Ashes record, they will ensure that Lord’s never gets a Test again.
What would you rather have the opposition on at the end of day one? 337 for one or 364 for two? I’d say that at least England didn’t invite it on themselves this time, but then there was that drop at slip off Smith, which is damn poor on this wicket. The good news for England, who are probably already out of the running for the win, is that Lord’s always tends to get easier to bat on as the match goes on. Also aside from that New Zealand Test, which was played on a different strip to the usual one in the centre, the pitch has been pretty damn slow all season.
There’s a new edition of You Are The Umpire out! In fact, should we need a riff today, why not test your OBOers out with some YATUesque questions? Simon Burnton is going to love me for this.
Morning folks. Australia’s day yesterday then, shall we say? Yeah we’ll give them that.
This really isn’t good from an English perspective. Of course it’s really good if you’re an Australia fan. The tourists are well poised to go on and score an absolute shedload in the first innings – already you would think that it will take a great effort from England’s batsmen to make Australia bat again.
So that’s that for today. Be sure to join us again tomorrow for what should be a thrash-fest of a morning session. But for now, cheerio!
Australia 108-0. So the tourists lead by 362 with all 10 second innings wickets remaining and two days left to play. A useful position, it’s fair to say.
26th over: Australia 108-0 (Rogers 44, Warner 60) Much mirth on the field as the cameras follow a woman down the steps who then misses her seat as she attempts to sit down. Cheers from the crowd. Root is chuckling. Warner is chuckling. Even Rogers has had to take a moment to compose himself. She’s fine, I’m glad to report, getting up to take a bow after the slow-mo replay on the big screen brings even louder cheers. With six balls to go in the day, Australia need to switch their concentration back on. And that they do – Warner tickling Root to fine leg for four. The final ball of the day is … blocked. And that’s stumps.
25th over: Australia 103-0 (Rogers 43, Warner 56) Shot! Warner drives sweetly down the ground for four runs that take the partnership into three figures. A little Warner waft at the last interests Wood for a moment, but a wry smile is all he gets.
24th over: Australia 99-0 (Rogers 43, Warner 52) Joe Root gets the chance to turn his arm over. Warner flicks fine for three. Well, he doesn’t actually - he misses the ball – but the umpires think he’s hit it so the runs go in his name rather than as leg byes. And then they’re taken away, the umpire changing his signal and causing some scribbling in the scorer’s book. Rogers pokes one through point for four. Seven from the over.
23rd over: Australia 92-0 (Rogers 39, Warner 52) Grimmer and grimmer for England. At least it’s nearly over for today – just four overs remain. Wood returns and Rogers pulls fine for one. And Warner brings up his half century – he missed out in the first innings so he’s clearly keen to make up for that here. It’s taken him 71 balls.
22nd over: Australia 88-0 (Rogers 38, Warner 49) A good stop from Buttler as Stokes strays to leg side and the ball deflects away off Warner’s pads. But there’s runs from the next ball, which is jabbed through the covers for a couple. And from the next, which is too wide and chopped away to third man for four. And he repeats the trick from the last.
21st over: Australia 76-0 (Rogers 38, Warner 37) Rogers flicks Moeen past Ballance at short leg for one and Warner drives off the back foot for the same.
20th over: Australia 74-0 (Rogers 37, Warner 36) Stokes once more. Warner shovels a pull to deep midwicket and the batsmen scurry two as they continue to amble comfortably in the general direction of a declaration.
19th over: Australia 72-0 (Rogers 37, Warner 34) Some turn! Moeen tweaks one past Rogers outside edge. That’s not necessarily great news for England, but at least it gives Moeen something to work with. A late chop brings Warner three more.
18th over: Australia 69-0 (Rogers 37, Warner 31) Nine overs remain today. England might squeeze them in if Moeen continues. Ben Stokes, though, has replaced Mark Wood. His first is a loosener, a half-tracker that Rogers paddle-pulls away for four. That’s followed by a flick for two more. Worryingly, there’s the hint of a hobble as Stokes walks back to his mark. He still sends down a brilliant leg-cutter at Rogers, that has him playing and missing and the ball zipping past the inside edge.
17th over: Australia 63-0 (Rogers 31, Warner 31) Moeen continues. There’s no turn. None. Zip. Zilch. Nada. But just a single from the first.
16th over: Australia 62-0 (Rogers 30, Warner 31) Lord Gower has just used the phrase “for real” on the Sky Sports commentary. These are end times. Or maybe that’s when he says “for realsies”. Wood looks for a back-of-the-hand yorker but it’s too full and Rogers squirts it out for four to third man.
15th over: Australia 56-0 (Rogers 25, Warner 30) Warner takes a couple of strides down the track but scuffs a drive then can’t beat the field with a late cut. Clearly the plan for this pair is to Build A Platform. Although, that platform is already built. They’re really constructing a launchpad.
14th over: Australia 53-0 (Rogers 25, Warner 27) Wood gets one to rear up a touch at Rogers, but the batsman rides it well. A maiden.
13th over: Australia 53-0 (Rogers 25, Warner 27) Rogers gets the sweep out and Mark Wood has to stretch his legs to prevent a boundary at fine leg. They run three, in any case. But otherwise it’s good probing stuff from Moeen.
12th over: Australia 50-0 (Rogers 22, Warner 27) Already there’s a sense of comfort for this pair. Neither is looking to be overly aggressive, but nor are they remotely tied down. Warner demonstrates the point with a punchy drive through the covers for four to take the Australia lead to 300. And he follows it up with a little tickle to fine leg for four more. Fifty up.
11th over: Australia 41-0 (Rogers 21, Warner 19) Moeen once more and Warner welcomes him with a crunching drive through the covers for four. But those are the only runs from the over.
10th over: Australia 37-0 (Rogers 21, Warner 15) Mark Wood replaces Broad at the Nursery End. He’s a little wide of off stump from over the wicket, so opts to come around in an attempt to bring lbw into play. Rogers, via a couple of thick inside edges, plays out a maiden.
9th over: Australia 37-0 (Rogers 21, Warner 15) Now then. Moeen Ali gets the chance for an early twirl. He starts with a juicy full toss that Rogers can only skew straight back to him, but the opener does pick up a run from the next. That brings Warner onto strike – he smashed two fours and was then caught in Moeen’s first over of the first innings. He keeps his powder dry for three balls then skips down the track and shovels Moeen through the covers for four.
8th over: Australia 32-0 (Rogers 20, Warner 11) Broad strays to the pads twice and is twice whipped away to square leg, where there is a man patrolling in the deep to keep things to a single. And from the last Rogers punches down the ground for three more, giving Anderson a leg-sapping chase to the boundary in the process.
7th over: Australia 27-0 (Rogers 16, Warner 10) Anderson puts one right into the slot for Warner, who biffs a drive through the covers for four. “Beautiful weight-transference,” cheers Ricky Ponting it the commentary box. Anderson bites back with a cracker that seams away prodigiously and misses the outside edge by a whisker.
6th over: Australia 22-0 (Rogers 15, Warner 6)“An eccentric Yorkshireman in our stand is loudly exhorting the crowd to ‘Get behind the bowlers and ‘ave a do’, in the style of a warm-up artist,” reports Robert Wright. “It’s like having our very own Peter Kay. Funny-annoying.” Broad keeps things tourniquet-tight at Warner, and even though the last is a little wide the moustachioed one misses out. A maiden.
5th over: Australia 22-0 (Rogers 15, Warner 6) Anderson gives Moeen a bit of a glare as a misfield at fine leg allows Rogers to come back for a second run. I’d be avoiding Jimmy in the dressing room this evening – he’s not a happy bunny. And this won’t improve his mood – Rogers, clipping of his hip for four more.
4th over: Australia 16-0 (Rogers 9, Warner 6) That drop from Lyth gets uglier and uglier with each replay. He got himself into an awful position. Rogers nurdles Broad for three and Warner nudges him round the corner for two, each one an extra grain of salt in England’s wounds.
3rd over: Australia 11-0 (Rogers 6, Warner 4) Too full from Anderson and Rogers is able to plonk his drive straight of mid off and away for the first boundary of the innings. The bowler follows it up with a beauty, though, just back of a length and seaming past a groping outside edge. A leg bye brings Warner on strike … and Anderson beats the outside edge once more with another cracker. And the last of the over does catch the edge and should be caught at fourth slip but Lyth drops a fairly simple chance. Not what England need. Warner should be back in the hutch, instead he’s off the mark with four.
2nd over: Australia 2-0 (Rogers 2, Warner 0) These must be horrible circumstances to bowl in. It’s a hiding-to-nothing situation. Broad, though, almost picks up Warner without him troubling the scorers, a slower ball chipped just short of midwicket. A maiden and a very fine one.
Michael Clarke has had 4 opportunities to enforce the follow on and declined each time. Leads 332, 398, 207 & 254.
1st over: Australia 2-0 (Rogers 2, Warner 0) England have a maximum of 26 overs this evening. Anderson bowls the first of them and after five dots, Rogers clips one off his hip to square leg for two.
So Warner and Rogers stride to the crease – Sky have just had a “Best of Enemies” montage for the pair, which seems a bit of a stretch from their team-mates describing them as very different personalities, but still.
So England trail by 254 on first innings. Australia will presumably have a two-session thrash and look to declare at some point before tea tomorrow with a lead of 450-odd.
Clarke has opted not to enforce the follow-on.
Another slash outside off from Broad and this time Johnson finds the edge and Shaun Marsh takes a sharp catch at second slip.
90th over: England 312-9 (Anderson 6, Broad 21) Shot! Anderson thumps Hazlewood through mid on for four, then dabs square for two.
89th over: England 306-9 (Anderson 0, Broad 21) Play-and-miss. Play-and-miss. Play-and-miss. A hat-trick of sorts outside off for Johnson at Broad. There’s a bouncer next up, but then a fourth play-and-miss. And a fifth. A maiden, but one that could’ve been a touch straighter from Johnson perhaps.
88th over: England 306-9 (Anderson 0, Broad 21) The over had begun in decent fashion for England with Broad finding the boundary with a full-blooded club over the covers for four. Hazlewood produced a very good ball to Wood, though, one that seamed back towards the right hander and seared through the gate.
How many Woods would a Hazlewood bowl if a Hazlewood could bowl Woods? #Ashes
Another inside edge, another death rattle.
87th over: England 301-8 (Wood 4, Broad 16) Starc attempts to surprise Broad with a yorker, but it’s a little too full and the batsman is able to bunt down the ground for a couple. Starc’s lost his line a little here too – all a bit leg-side. A paddle pull from Wood brings him four runs to get off the mark. And take England to 300.
86th over: England 294-8 (Wood 0, Broad 13) That was a cracker from Hazlewood. Just a matter of time now. And then it’ll be decision time for Michael Clarke.
CLONK! Broad whups Hazlewood to cow corner … for two. DOOF! And he attempts a hook from the next, bottom edging into the deck and taking himself off his feet. He gets up and gets a single. OUT! Ali is trapped in front by a Hazlewood inswinger. Dharmasena’s finger goes up … and rightly so. Moeen reviews, because why not, but it pitched on middle and was going on to hit middle two-thirds of the way up.
85th over: England 291-7 (Moeen 39, Broad 10) And it’s Mitchell Starc from the Pavilion End. Broad gets lucky, attempting to drive off the back foot but squirting just over Warner at point for two. It’s little more than a game of survival for Broad at the moment, but one he is winning.
84th over: England 288-7 (Moeen 39, Broad 7) Hazlewood comes into the attack for the first over after the break. He’s a little leg-side to Broad and is eventually tapped to midwicket for a single. Moeen works the next forward of point for similar. And Broad adds another single from the last. Three off the over.
Hello again everyone. The players are back out.
So we will head into the final session of the day with England needing 82 more to avoid the follow on. So long as Moeen is still there and Broad shows the tenacity to survive that he did in those 20 balls before tea, then it’s still very possible.
John Ashdown returns for the final session, so direct all your missives his way. I’ll see you tomorrow.
83rd over: England 285-7 (Moeen 38, Broad 5) Moeen rocks back and plays an odd shot, a lofted back-foot off drive of sorts with an angled bat, past Starc’s head and down to wide mid off for three. Starc goes fuller to Broad, who drives from outside off for two – England are happy to entrust Broad with the strike here. Normally you would say that Australia need to be straighter to him, but he is playing his shots. A bouncer then flies over Broad, over Nevill and down to the boundary for four. The final ball before tea is full-ish, on off and pushed into the off side for one more. Broad survives then.
82nd over: England 275-7 (Moeen 35, Broad 2) It’s Johnson from the other end. He’s not been quite so effective today as he was in the evening session on day two, but he’s going to be a real threat with a hard, shiny ball. Moeen plays the swivel pull to his first ball – inevitably a short one – off his chest and round to long leg for one. So it’s Johnson v Broad, which might not last long. A steepling bouncer to begin with, of course, but still we haven’t seen anything that Broad’s had to play. Ah there we go, he finally hits one, a back foot defensive, to ironic cheers from the crowd. Broad is off the mark with a fend past the misfield at gully for two.
81st over: England 272-7 (Moeen 34, Broad 0) No surprise, the new ball has been taken, with Starc taking it. Four slips and a short leg for Ali, who pushes to mid off but can’t get the second run, exposing Broad to the new ball for up to four deliveries. He tries banging in a short one to begin with, but it doesn’t even get up to waist-height, although it nips away off the seam a touch. Broad plays down the wrong line at the first two, before Starc whangs one down a mile outside off stump that Broad has a massive slash at, connecting with naught but London air. Final ball is in the channel and brings another play and miss.
80th over: England 271-7 (Moeen 33, Broad 0) Moeen won’t die wondering and comes dancing down the track to Lyon’s first ball, smashing it wide of the bowler’s despairing dive and down to wide mid off for four. A single brings Broad on strike and he looks about as comfortable as a teenager watching The Wolf of Wall Street with his parents. He survives easily enough though. New ball is now due.
79th over: England 266-7 (Moeen 28, Broad 0) You can stop emailing me about players carrying their bat now. Sorry, Alastair. Broad has a drive at one that leaps nicely past the bat and is lucky to miss it; there was a noise, but it was bat on pad. Broad then ducks for a wide one that went about waist-high from the medium pacer, before driving at thin air from the last.
Lorraine Rees asks: “My laptop has died so I can’t check Statsguru but didn’t Rahul Dravid carry his bat against England during the summer India got thrashed?”
@DanLucas86 we forgot to include our drinking game rules earlier. Doh! If anyone wants to play along, they're here: http://t.co/qpONjpniAV
Awww fffffff. Cook reaches for a wide one angled across him, the bat twists in his hand a touch, he misreads the slow pace and a huge inside edge sees the ball crash into leg stump.
78th over: England 266-6 (Moeen 28, Cook 96) “I’m not going describe anyone getting runs on this featherbed as ‘batting’ very well,” says Michael Holding. “If you can’t get runs on this give up the job and find another profession.” I want Michael Holding to narrate my own life.
We’ve got a review here for lbw against Moeen. It’s given not out, but it looks very close. Struck on the front pad playing forward down the wrong line, but it’s umpire’s call hitting leg stump. Just. Moeen celebrates his reprieve by going back and cutting dismissively through point for four.
77th over: England 262-6 (Moeen 24, Cook 96) Nice shot for two from Cook as Marsh comes round the wicket, stepping across early and meeting it with the full face to push it back past the bowler and down to long off. He moves to within a stroke of his century from the final ball, again getting across well and clipping through square leg for a crisp boundary.
76th over: England 256-6 (Moeen 24, Cook 90)“Put yer feet up for a bit before the new ball, Mitch,” says Michael Clarke. Or words to that effect, as Johnson is replaced by Lyon. Cook nudges him to midwicket for the single that takes him into the 90s and takes England up to 250. Ali though goes five better from the final ball, hitting straight back over the bowler’s head with an elegant swing of the bat that takes the ball all the way over the rope.
75th over: England 249-6 (Moeen 18, Cook 89) Not a lot happens in this maiden over, so here’s Andy MacDougall with some further anecdotes on South Africa v England 1889.
“It appears that Montague Parker Bowden only played 2 tests and was only captain due to the fact that the usual captain Aubrey Smith had been unable to get to the test in Cape Town in time and then stayed in South Africa to follow the Gold Rush with Smith, went to Rhodesia as part of the Pioneer Column before ending up as a liquor smuggler!
74th over: England 249-6 (Moeen 18, Cook 89) Single to Cook as he flicks behind square on the leg side for one, before Ali drops to mid off for the same.
“On the subject of carrying one’s bat through an innings, what (a) is the highest innings score when a bat has been carried through and (b) the highest bat carrying individual score?” asks Ilona Turnbull.
73rd over: England 247-6 (Moeen 17, Cook 88) It’s a double change, with Mitchell Marsh getting another go. He overpitches a touch with his fourth ball and Moeen drives nicely out to deep extra cover, perhaps not timing it perfectly, and the sweeper comes round to keep them to two. Two balls later he flicks Moeen’s pocket and it rolls all the way down to the rope for four leg byes.
72nd over: England 241-6 (Moeen 15, Cook 88) A post-drinks change of bowling, as Johnson comes in for a final burst with the old ball. He tests Moeen out with a short one, but it’s slow and doesn’t get up, so Ali pulls it easily between two men on the on side for one. Johnson switches to round the wicket for Cook, angles it across him and the cap’n rocks back and slides a terrific cut through backward point to the fence. Johnson goes shorter, so Cook shuffles across and hammers a pull out to deep square for one; Mitch responds with some chat about being aggressive. Moeen nudges for a single off the last.
“On the bat-carrying following-on question,” writes Duncan Innes, “Desmond Haynes also managed that feat in the Oval match in 1991 when Phil Tufnell took the rest of the Windies batting order apart - he got 75 in the first innings and then 43 in the second.”
Cheers John. I’ll be here for the next hour or so as England battle for the further 133 runs they need to avoid the possibility of following on. Apparently it’s unlikely to be enforced, though I’d put them in again if I was Michael Clarke, given that there’s a week between this Test and the next. Thoughts? Email ‘em to dan.lucas@theguardian.com or tweet @DanLucas86.
71st over: England 234-6 (Moeen 13, Cook 83) Hazlewood strays onto Cook’s pads and gets tucked away for two wide of midwicket. But then there’s the first mistake in an age by Cook, who pushes nervously at one outside off. Ball and edge do not meet, however.
And with that I’ll return you to the capable hands of Dan Lucas, who will take you through until tea.
70th over: England 232-6 (Moeen 13, Cook 81) Shot! Moeen has come out all guns blazing here. After four dots he thunks a sweep away to midwicket for four.
“Love the match notes in that game you linked to when Bernard Tancred was the first to carry his bat regarding the England Captain MP Bowden,” writes Andy MacDougall. “’Bowden, aged 23 years 144 days became England’s youngest captain three years before dying in Umtali Hospital - a glorified mud hut where his body had to be protected from marauding lions prior to being interred in a coffin made from whiskey cases.’ And Chef thought he had it tough!”
69th over: England 228-6 (Moeen 9, Cook 81) Hazlewood returns and looks to test Cook with a slower-ball bouncer, but Cook pulls pretty safely for four. And there’s four more from the next – a wide one outside off swerving away from the diving Nevill and flying past Clarke at first slip before heading off for four byes.
68th over: England 220-6 (Moeen 9, Cook 77) One of Lyon’s latest. The highlight of that over, though, was a lovely replay of umpire Dharmasena during that Buttler wicket – he was mid-headshake and as Buttler walked he seamlessly transitioned to a nod. Weirdly reminiscent of this:
67th over: England 219-6 (Moeen 9, Cook 76) Shot! Moeen gets down on one knee and powers a drive through the covers for four – one for the cameras, that. He picks up four more a couple of balls later in far streakier fashion, chipping just wide of Rogers at midwicket.
“I’m one of the brave team of north London irregulars taking part in the drinking game you mentioned earlier,” writes Nick Tebbutt. “After that over (small red wine raised for a glorious cover drive for four, a large G&T for a dropped catch and a shot of bitter for a pulled boundary) we’re starting to pray for rain.
66th over: England 211-6 (Moeen 1, Cook 76) Buttler’s decision to walk there confused everyone, not least Steve Smith who was still appealing when the batsman was halfway to the pavilion. Anyway, England are back in the seriously sticky stuff, not that they were ever really out of it. Moeen gets off the mark with a single.
Lyon returns and immediately makes another breakthrough. Buttler lunges forward and feathers the faintest of edges through to the keeper … and he walks!
65th over: England 210-5 (Buttler 13, Cook 76) Cook leans into an on-drive as Starc overpitches – four runs. And then guides a cracking drive through the covers for four more.
“Has anyone in a Test carried his bat but, having failed to save the follow-on, had to go straight in again?” wonders John Starbuck. “If so, how did they fare? If that were to happen to Cook, or any batsman, no-one would blame them for deciding to come in again at No4, say.”
64th over: England 202-5 (Buttler 13, Cook 68) DROPPED! Cook hammers a pull at Steve Smith at square leg but the fielder can’t hold on. That was travelling like a rocket but still goes down as a chance to dismiss the England captain, who adds the salt with a tickle to fine leg for four runs that take England past the 200 mark.
“Mitchell Johnson is on the boundary right in front of where I’m sitting in the Compton Stand - and he’s got his own hamper!” reports Robert Wright. “No wonder he’s so well built. I wonder if he’s got those chicken drumsticks with spicy sauce ...” If there’s no pork pie in there, it has no place at a cricket ground.
63rd over: England 197-5 (Buttler 13, Cook 63) Cook blocks Starc down the ground to pick up a couple – it’s just the fifth scoring shots since in the six overs since lunch.
62nd over: England 194-5 (Buttler 13, Cook 61) Johnson again looks to tempt Buttler outside off but there’s no ill-judged-bat-dangling from the batsman this time around. And from the last there’s a sweetly-timed drive through the covers for four.
61st over: England 190-5 (Buttler 9, Cook 61) Starc offers Cook a hint of width and the England captain is onto it in a flash, gleefully tucking through backward point for four.
Here’s Dan Lucas, utterly putting the kibosh on Cook:
60th over: England 186-5 (Buttler 9, Cook 57) Trouble here! Johnson fields off his own bowling and Cook sends Buttler back … but Johnson is quick as whippet in turning and throwing at the stumps. He misses, so no embarrassing departure for Buttler, but the bowler clearly has his dander up. Cook does get his single a ball or two later, and Buttler plays-and-misses outside off.
But from the last ball of the over, Johnson thinks he’s got his man. Buttler edges and the ball flies low wide of Nevill, who dives in front of first slip as the ball dies. I have to say on first viewing it didn’t look like he had managed to keep the ball up and the third umpire confirms it. The wicketkeeper got there, but the angle of his glove meant the ball briefly dragged along the ground. Australia are seriously unimpressed by that decision but I reckon it’s the right one.
59th over: England 185-5 (Buttler 9, Cook 56) Mitchell Starc from the Pavilion End. He keeps a tight line outside off, looking to drift the ball across the right-handed Buttler from over the wicket. Buttler stands firm then cuts for four as he’s offered the merest hint of width.
On commentary Shane Warne has got himself into a bit of a verbal grammatical tangle as the cameras show Rodney Marsh in the stands: “No, that’s not a Rodney Marsh lookalike, that’s Rodney Marsh, and on his right his lovely wife Roz, the chairman of selectors for Australia.”
58th over: England 181-5 (Buttler 5, Cook 56) Mitchell Johnson continues after the break and he continues to test the England captain by mixing up his length. Cook digs out a couple of yorkers but can’t get the bowler away. A maiden.
The players return to the field.
Intriguing:“As the England batsmen dig in to survive, a few chums and I are digging into an incredibly convoluted cricket-themed drinking game,” writes Chris Tebbutt. “My front room has been converted into the Lords playing field (albeit with shot glasses rather than fielders), we’ve created extensive laws of the game (with no less than 40 possible action-related drinks) and plenty of sausage rolls to keep us alive.”
England are still 186 runs short of the follow on, but the general consensus seems to be that the 366 mark is a pretty irrelevant one as Australia will bat again anyway.
Hello everyone. Do give me a shout with your views on john.ashdown@theguardian.com or tweet @John_Ashdown. Incidentally, speaking of tweeting, just before lunch I discovered that the individual who forced me into utilising an underscore in my Twitter ‘handle’ hasn’t exactly made the most of the wonderful and weird world of social media …
Well that late Stokes wicket really did sour what was almost a confidence rebuilding effort from England. He and Cook looked secure, but just one lapse can do for a batsman and indeed that was the case here. Just as hope might have been creeping back into English minds, a bloke called Mitchell ensures that they have another big job on their hands to avoid the follow-on. Again.
57th over: England 181-5 (Buttler 5, Cook 56) Starc comes back on for the final over before lunch. Buttler drops his first ball into the off side to get off strike. Cook, utterly delighted at the prospect of facing five balls from the fast bowler, thinks “to hell with this” and gets back off strike with a sharp single of his own. Starc is putting it in a good channel outside off stump, with four slips waiting for Buttler’s instincts to get the better of him. They don’t though as he plays only at his final ball, blocking it back down the wicket.
A first: I’m getting sent pictures from Lord’s. Which is kind of cruel, given that they’re chaining us up in a bunker in King’s Cross.
56th over: England 179-5 (Buttler 4, Cook 55) So it’s all about surviving the next nine minutes or so until lunch for England. They could do with a contribution from Buttler; for all his bucketloads of talent, he’s 24 years old, the same age as Kane Williamson, and at an age where we should be talking about what he’s doing rather than what he might do. Cook tries to leave a short-ish one that climbs and cracks him right on the inside of the elbow – that’s going to hurt a lot and he’s called for the physio.
Cook using all his experience there to get hit on the elbow and waste five minutes before lunch. Such a canny operator.
55th over: England 179-5 (Buttler 4, Cook 55) Remarkable commentator’s curse that. Atherton praises England’s just-about perfect morning, Botham warns of the commentator’s curse and within literally a second – the very ball they were talking over – England’s resistance is broken. That’s a real shame for Stokes, who played beautifully for his third 50+ score at Lord’s on the spin. The fielders close in for Buttler, who gets underway from the final ball by flicking a full, straight one round the corner for four.
And there’s the breakthrough. Stokes tries to defend one on a length, outside off on the back foot, his bat doesn’t quite come down straight, the ball keeps a touch low and he inside edges on to his stumps.
54th over: England 175-4 (Stokes 87, Cook 55) It’s a double change, with Johnson replacing Smith for a couple of overs before lunch. He continues to get variable bounce outside Cook’s off stump, but the England captain is secure enough. He tries to drive a straighter one off his ankles and through midwicket, but Nathan Lyon makes an excellent stop diving to his left. And then a flashback to old Mitch as he flings one way, way down the leg side, beyond Nevill’s dive and away for four byes. Straining a bit too hard for some swing there, the bowler.
“Thanks for the birthday wishes, Dan,” writes Ian Copestake. “I am pleased that today has seen me survive the LA public transport system to watch Gerrard score (it is easier than getting a ticket at Anfield), and to enjoy this England pre-lunch resistance. As a man who now increasingy appreciates a snooze, I knew all England needed was a good sleep.”
53rd over: England 171-4 (Stokes 87, Cook 55) Yep, Starc is going to take a break so we’ll get a look at Mitchell Marsh for the first time today. There’s a mistimed cut to point, then a very streaky boundary as Stokes goes hard at a full one and edges it wide of second slip at a good height for the fielders and down to the fence for four. Better next ball as he chops behind point, down the hill for the same amount.
52nd over: England 163-4 (Stokes 79, Cook 55) Starc is over on the sidelines again, pointing to his back. In the middle, Smith gives Cook another big full toss that England’s captain welts out to deep mid on for two. He tries the googly a few balls later and it very nearly bounces twice before reaching the batsman, who chops it away.
51st over: England 160-4 (Stokes 78, Cook 53) One more to Cook, with a punch into the off side. This pitch is offering no assistance to Australia’s bowlers at all and England’s serene progress this morning makes their efforts last night look all the more impressive. Short then to Stokes, who needs no further invite to pull, but there’s a man out in the deep to keep them to one. The slow nature of the pitch means that Stokes isn’t quite nailing these shots, but he’s playing them safely enough.
50th over: England 158-4 (Stokes 77, Cook 52) The man with seven wickets at 19, Steve Smith is on to bowl a bit of leg spin. It’s a mixed bag, with a couple of rank full tosses, each of which only brings a single. The final ball is dragged well down though and smashed on the cut through cover point for four by Stokes.
49th over: England 152-4 (Stokes 72, Cook 51) Starc is fit to continue then and the second ball of his over his pushed out to cover for one by Cook. The left armer switches to round the wicket for Stokes, who chops a full one out to backward point on the bounce. A couple of balls later, Starc tries the bouncer but there’s no pace on it and Stokes’ pull only squirts away for a single behind square.
48th over: England 150-4 (Stokes 71, Cook 50) Starc is having a word with the physio – Shane Warne tells us that during the ad break between overs, the fast bowler was grimacing. A short one from Lyon gets punched to deep mid on for one by Stokes. He overcorrects a couple of balls later, going too full, and Cook works him out to the same region for the three runs he needs to complete his half-century from 142 balls. A very important innings that from Cook.
47th over: England 146-4 (Stokes 70, Cook 47) Full from Starc with a bit of shape away from Cook and it takes the edge as the batsman tries to drive, but stays low and shoots past the slips. Two runs there, which the same they get when Cook drives a straight, full one through mid on.
46th over: England 142-4 (Stokes 70, Cook 43) Lyon again. It looks to me as though short leg is very deep, presumably as protection against the sweep as both of these batsmen like to go hard when they bring that shot out. Adam Voges wore a very painful looking one on the hip fielding there yesterday. And no sooner have I written that, he gets one on the ankle as Cook flicks square, through the fielder’s legs for a single.
45th over: England 141-4 (Stokes 70, Cook 42) So a perfect first hour for England. They still need another 230 to avoid the follow-on mind and this isn’t a good sign: Starc gets one to shoot along the ground outside Stokes’ off stump. The next ball is straighter and gets turned comfortably through mid on for a couple. A wider one gets cut away, but the sub fielder Pat Cummins makes a good diving stop and they can only get the one run. One more into the on side from the final ball.
“Who or what has got inside Stokes’ head?” asks Dean Kinsella. “Major transformation from locker bashing plonker to responsible and thrilling cricketer. I think the new England ‘smile on your face’ ethos suits him perfectly.”
44th over: England 137-4 (Stokes 67, Cook 41) A single round the corner to Cook brings Stokes on strike against the spinner. He did go after Lyon last night, hitting a couple of boundaries over the top and not letting the offie settle. Indeed he goes for the big hard sweep here, not quite timing it and the fielder is able to get round from long leg to save two. A push down to mid off brings one more and that should be drinks.
43rd over: England 133-4 (Stokes 64, Cook 40) There is a change of bowling, but it’s Starc rather than the leg spinner Smith. A couple of full balls that Stokes tries to drive through mid off, but he can only find the fielder each time. Across the stumps he goes, looking to push through mid on this time, but again he can’t get it away. No swing for Starc here.
John Starbuck writes: “Adam Lyth will, in a few years, look more like another 666: Alastair Crowley, the Wickedest Man in the World.”
42nd over: England 133-4 (Stokes 64, Cook 40) Stokes reaches a good couple of feet outside off stump to play the paddle sweep, all along the ground, down to long leg for three, before Cook sees off the final ball.
41st over: England 130-4 (Stokes 61, Cook 40) Four more to Stokes as Hazelwood gives him a half volley that’s driven sumptuously through wide mid off. A couple of balls later he thinks for a moment about cutting a wide bouncer, but withdraws from the shot as it keeps very low. He’s hit on the pad after that, but the umpire says no as it’s pitched outside leg. Michael Clarke signals the review... but Hawkeye confirms my initial suspicion. The final ball is on the pads and turned round the corner for the single that brings up the century stand. Good stuff from these two.
“Good to see Cook hanging in there,” writes Robert Wright. “As a relative newcomer to cricket, this is about the longest I’ve seen him stay in. I’m used to seeing him trundle off back to the changing rooms with a mighty haul of two runs to his name.”
40th over: England 124-4 (Stokes 56, Cook 40) There’s a shout of “catch!” as Cook gets a bat-pad to Lyon’s arm ball, but it loops up too straight for short leg. Cook responds by coming down the track and hammering what becomes a half volley past the bowler for four down to long off. That was a most un-Alastair Cook shot.
“Surely Adam Lyth must be the oldest looking 27 year old in the world,” reckons Clinton Arnold.
39th over: England 120-4 (Stokes 56, Cook 36) It’s a change of ends for Hazlewood, who replaces Johnson at the Pavilion End. He’s shaping it back into the left hander nicely, perhaps a touch full, and Cook squirts him square on the leg side for one. That takes him to 4,651 in Tests in England, past Alec Stewart and up to third on the all-time list.
38th over: England 119-4 (Stokes 56, Cook 35) A change of tack from Australia as the world’s oldest looking 27-year-old, Nathan Lyon, comes on. It’s a lot of very full stuff to Cook, with a silly point, short leg and a slip around the bat, but the England captain gets forward and smothers the spin. He punches the final ball to mid off for one.
37th over: England 118-4 (Stokes 56, Cook 34) Johnson to continue and he finds what looks to be a touch of reverse swing with a full ball to Stokes that cannons into the pads off the inside edge. With Stokes dealing comfortably with the full stuff, Johnson tries to bang it in and gets pulled hard through midwicket for another boundary. This is seriously good batting from the Durham man.
36th over: England 114-4 (Stokes 52, Cook 34) A couple to Cook through square leg as Hazelwood strays on to the pads. These two looking comfortable, as well a top class batsman should in conditions as glorious as these. Four more to Cook as Hazelwood comes round the wicket, Cook goes across, opens the face and runs it down to third man.
Some top stats work by John Ashdown sat to my right, who points out that Stokes either tends to be very good or very bad at Lord’s. It’s a small sample, but the good news is that he’s been very good this year and hasn’t bagged a duck in this innings.
35th over: England 108-4 (Stokes 52, Cook 28) Stokes gets struck on the pad, pinned back on the crease, but it’s going down leg and the appeal is more of a yelp than a genuine question. Johnson cuts him in half with the next ball though, getting it up the hill, through the gate and about six inches over off stump. His next ball is fuller and Stokes brings up his fifty with a punchy drive through extra cover for four. He’s played very well in this innings as he has in every one he’s had at Lord’s this summer: scores of 92, 101 and now 52*.
34th over: England 104-4 (Stokes 48, Cook 28) Short from Hazlewood; it gets up to around nipple height and Alastair Cook loves them on his nipples. Swung nicely out the middle of the bat to the square leg boundary for four runs. He gets one wide outside off a couple of balls later – something else he’s good at putting away – but gets a bottom edge from the attempted cut.
Let’s laugh at David Warner while we can, yeah?
David Warner's day off to a flyer ... and great reaction from Chris Rogers https://t.co/cqfZCU9XVy
33rd over: England 100-4 (Stokes 48, Cook 24) This is nice: Sky’s cameras can see into London Zoo. My girlfriend and I went round there a little while ago, playing a game of “which animals would win in a fight with Jason Statham”. We then came up with the outline for a movie in which Statham fights animals on steroids in the zoo. It’s going to be brilliant.
Stokes produces a textbook display of forward defensive shots to Johnson, before playing all round one that’s whistling down leg. They take a couple leg byes to bring up the team 100.
32nd over: England 98-4 (Stokes 48, Cook 24) There’s still a hint of up and down bounce out there. Cook plays out the first five balls with minimal fuss, but then flicks at the final ball – a wider one – with a 45 degree bat and is fortunate to miss it.
31st over: England 98-4 (Stokes 48, Cook 24) From the Pavilion End it’ll be Johnson to Cook. Second ball is guided nicely out to deep backward point for a couple as the England captain reads the bounce nicely. It was a touch variable last night, as Ballance found out to his peril. Johnson, rightly, pushes his length a touch fuller and Cook knocks him past short leg for a single. It brings Stokes on strike, Mitch greets him with a bouncer outside off and the batsman plays a cut behind point, on the jump, and nails it for four.
If you don't enjoy watching Mitchell Johnson run in from the pavilion end at Lord's you either don't like cricket or you're holding a bat.
30th over: England 91-4 (Stokes 44, Cook 21) Here we go then, this partnership resumes on 55. Shane Watson is in at slip after Voges took that nasty whack on the hip yesterday evening. Hazlewood gets us underway and beats Stokes’s bat outside off straight away. The first runs of the day come via a thick outside edge that flies through the vacant gully region for four as Stokes is tucked up well. He gets a couple more, more convincingly this time, with a push to midwicket.
Australia take to the field. David Warner trips over the boundary rope.
An email from birthday boy Ian Copestake. “If both teams manage to hit top form in a Test match at the same time, rather than the current overly polite ‘its your turn, old chap’ scenario, then maybe, just maybe, this might be quite a cracking Ashes.”
That would be nice – it kind of went this way in 2013 and 2009 though too. Happy birthday, too.
“There’s not many number threes in world cricket who can’t play the short ball and can’t play the full ball.” Nasser Hussain isn’t pulling his punches when it comes to Gary Ballance. He does go on to say praise Ballance’s mentality though and says he’d want him in his Ashes team. I tend to agree as I don’t think Bairstow is a number three, James Taylor isn’t hitting the same heights as last season as Notts struggle and I don’t think there’s anyone better out there. And before you suggest it, there’s no way in hell I’d move Joe Root at the moment.
If you’re emailing and they’re not getting through, that’s because there was a slight problem with the link at the top of the page when the OBO went live. Refresh the page and it’s all fixed now.
Not a lot to argue with here.
England cannot blame the pitch for yesterday's performance. Tired bodies, tired legs and tired minds were to blame...and bad shots. #Ashes
A fun fact for Game of Thrones fans: Mitchell Starc has a younger brother, a high jumper, called Brandon.
Our first missive of the day:“Morning Dan,” Morning, James Higgott, you hopelessly optimistic being. “It’s unlikely that this Test will end as anything other than an Australian win but I did some back-of-a-receipt calculations anyway, and the England win doesn’t look as impossible as you might think.
With four overs lost for changes of innings there are 266 overs left in the match. That’s 974 runs at the current match run rate of 3.66. This is how it could happen:
Morning folks. Let’s not beat around the bush here: this is bad for England. Real bad. They’re in vaguely-ethnic-terrorist-captured-by-Jack-Bauer territory here, staring down the barrel with a snarling, angry man holding the trigger.
Or make that snarling angry men. Mitchell Johnson’s bouncer may have been neutered somewhat by the pace of the two pitches so far, but he bowled a perfect full length to England’s top order yesterday, seaming the ball away from the plethora of left-handers and making a mockery of everyone who called him a one-trick pony after Cardiff. If England can somehow keep Johnson quiet... well then Australia also have Josh Hazlewood and Mitchell Starc doing the same thing.
Mitchell Johnson back to his terrifying best as Australia demolish England
Well that was fairly unequivocal, you have to say. Australia’s win is their biggest over England by runs since 1948 and their third biggest ever in Ashes Tests. In fact it’s the ninth biggest win by runs in Test history!
England smashed Australia at Cardiff. That only served to make them angry, it seems, as the tourists have turned it around and then some. England can do their whole taking the positives schtick, as they weren’t as entirely abject as that scoreline suggests. It doesn’t matter a jot though as Australia were absolutely outstanding. With Smith’s brilliant double hundred, Chris Roger’s almost-as-good first innings century and a trio of fast bowlers making a mockery of the pace of the pitch, that was like watching the Australia of old.
37th over: England 103 (Wood 2) Come on now, let’s get this over and done with, guys. Wood plays an expansive drive that’s well stopped by Warner, I think, at backward point with the ball bouncing just before him. A swivel pull out to deep square leg brings Anderson on strike for the final ball, and a perfect inswinging yorker castles him. That’s it! Australia level the series.
36th over: England 102-9 (Anderson 0, Wood 1) Nathan Lyon continues. Given that they were 60-6, does this count as a recovery from England’s tail? No, no it does not. Wood turns one into the on side for a single.
35th over: England 101-9 (Anderson 0, Wood 0) Johnson, with 3-27 to his name in this innings, gets a rest and is replaced by Hazlewood. I’m not sure how pleased Mitch will be with that decision. He can probably pack up now though, as Australia move to within one wicket of a series-levelling win. That was such an understated wicket considering that it was England’s best batsman getting his furniture rearranged by a quick. Anderson plays a nice off drive from his first ball, but Marsh (M) makes a nice diving stop. A wicket maiden and we will go on for another entry at least.
Angled back in down the slop and Root is done for pace.
34th over: England 101-8 (Root 17, Wood 0) Four more to Broad and he nudges ahead in the race to top score in this innings with a nice paddle sweep from well outside off, all along the floor to the fine leg boundary. A couple of balls later he gets one in the slot and lifts it effortlessly over mid on for six! He may support Leicester Tigers, but I bloody love Stuart Broad. Hundred up, but an eighth wicket down.
Broad tries to cut, it’s not short enough and the ball loops to cover, where Voges takes a dolly.
33rd over: England 91-7 (Root 17, Broad 15) Shot from Root! Johnson bangs it in but the bounce isn’t as vicious as he might have hoped. Root swivels and hammers it to the midwicket boundary on the pull. That takes him to 17 and past Stuart Broad as England’s top scorer.
“This is getting pretty hard to watch now,” writes understatement fan Thomas Bright. “Have just noticed that Jonny Bairstow has just scored another century though. Bairstow in for Ballance, Bell or Lyth?! Root must bat at 3 by the way.” I’d give them all one more Test, personally. They’ve all got issues but have all played innings of substance in England wins in the last three Tests.
32nd over: England 87-7 (Root 13, Broad 15) Stuart Broad isn’t one to share your pessimism: he is going for the win! Or at least he goes back and slots some wide filth from Lyon through point for four more. He’s 15 from 9 and if can carry that on to a quadruple century then England are almost home and dry. He goes for the shot again, doesn’t time it and the looping ball lands a couple of yards short of the man at point.
31st over: England 82-7 (Root 12, Broad 11) A punch back down the ground gets Broad three runs but, more importantly, gets him off strike. If I was Australia I’d have been willing that ball to the fence. All told, it was a good shot, mind. Root also plays nicely off the back foot, pushing to mid on for a single. Broad doesn’t look too happy about going through for that run and it’s patently obvious why: he gets absolutely strung up, the ball fires up off the splice and clears everyone, shooting down to long stop for four. Emboldened, Broad rocks back to the last ball – short and wide of course – and uppercuts expertly over the slips for four more.
Mark Turner is absolutely spot on with his assessment of Johnson: “Not only does he look in superb nick, but for me he’s being captained better. There’s no sulking when the ball’s taken off him, there’s no over-use, he’s fresh every time he’s called back to bowl, there seems to be agreement between himself and Clarke. Result: we get to watch the world’s best strike bowler rip the heart out of our top order, who are being made to look more mediocre than they are.”
30th over: England 70-7 (Root 11, Broad 0) From the other end it’s Nathan Lyon to Joe Root. The Yorkshireman swivel pulls a short-ish one round the corner and there are derisory cheers the ball trickles sorrowfully to the fine leg fence. He repeats the shot a couple of balls later, but Mitch Marsh slides round well to save two.
29th over: England 64-7 (Root 5, Broad 0) It’ll be Mitchell Johnson first up after tea. And it’ll be Moeen Ali to the crease second ball after tea. This is as pathetic as we’ve seen from England this year, like one of those rubbish BBC 2 “I Love 2013-14” nostalgia shows. It was nothing more than a loosener that did for Buttler. Ali then tries to swish at one down the leg side and there’s a strangled appeal as Australia hear a noise, but Nevill fumbles it. It was ball on sweater in any case. Australia won’t give the tiniest one though as the fifth ball of the over brings Moeen’s tortured, awful innings to a miserable close.
This might be the shortest OBO shift I’ve ever done.
I’m not making this up. After a working over, Moeen gets in an almighty mess swinging at a short one and he just pops it into the hands of short leg.
First effing ball after tea. It’s angled across him from over the wicket, Buttler pushes at it needlessly and Nevill snaffles yet another catch.
So our weird Ben Stokes stat,which John Ashdown dug out yesterday, remains. His first innings 87 remains his worst score at Lord’s when he has deigned to get off the mark: his record now reads 0, 0, 92, 101, 87, 0.
“WICKETARDIUM LEVIOSA” writes Edward Wilson on the Stokes runout. I’ve asked my colleagues who have children and apparently this is a Harry Potter thing and it’s a spell for levitation. I wouldn’t have known this otherwise, because I am a grown up.
Evening folks. I thought to myself earlier “If England can get to the evening session five down then that’s the only way this is going to be an exciting finish to the match.” But then again I was thinking about tomorrow evening.
It turns out they’ve ignored my earlier masterplan (see lunch break) of not getting out and hitting loads of fours. Natalie Portman will be very disappointed.
And that is tea. Another wonderful session for Australia, more misery for England. I think England could claim to have done pretty well in the first session of day three, but the other 10 sessions so far belong to Australia. Dan Lucas will helm the OBO for the remainder of the day, so send your despairing emails his way. Bye!
28th over: England 64-5 (Root 5, Buttler 11)
Lyon continues, as Lord’s continues to come to terms with the bizarre lunacy of that Stokes run-out, and the absence now of any kind of doubt about the outcome of this Test. “Any chance of putting up the required run rate England need to pull off the win?” asks Alex Gaywood. “I suspect we’re a little bit behind target but just wanted to be sure. Cheers!” Very droll.
27th over: England 60-5 (Root 4, Buttler 8)
Buttler comes in, and clips his first delivery over the head of the fielder at midwicket – not far enough to be comfortable – and away for four. Then he gets a thick outside edge and the ball flies low, wide of the slips and away for four more.
A boy was expelled from my school for being run out like that.
Disaster for England! In theory Stokes is in by a yard but he never grounded his bat, and as the ball hits the stumps – a direct hit from mid on – his feet are in the air and he’s gone! Excellent fielding from Johnson, idiotic running from Stokes.
26th over: England 52-4 (Root 4, Stokes 0)
“There’d been three maidens in a row, and how many times does a wicket follow?” asks Mike Atherton on Sky. Well, plenty, but surely maidens had nothing to do with that one. After all, it’s not like Bell was trying to score a run at the time, or England care a hoot about the score on the board. Bell just misjudged the flight of the ball. Later there’s massive turn out of the rough, the ball rears up, misses everyone and goes for four byes.
Bell inside-edges into his pad and the ball loops straight into the hands of Shaun Marsh, the sub fielder, at short leg!
25th over: England 48-3 (Bell 11, Root 4)
Marsh is back, replacing Johnson, and he bowls wide and short at Root, who takes the bait and tries to pull. He misses the ball entirely, and presumably gives himself a bit of a talking-to.
24th over: England 48-3 (Bell 11, Root 4)
Lyon bowls to Cook, with a single slip, silly point and short leg around the bat. No sniff of either runs or wickets. “Let’s be clear what is at stake here today,” writes Owen Kendler. “England’s middle order is batting to save the fifth-day concession sales at Lord’s. Otherwise, England could throw their wickets away quickly and take the extra day to recover both mentally and physically from this thrashing.” A little harsh I fear, Owen. On that basis the captains could have shaken hands and called it 1-1 after 20 minutes of England’s first innings, and they’d have had their feet up for a couple of days already.
23rd over: England 48-3 (Bell 11, Root 4)
Johnson bowls short, into Root’s body, he fends it away with the handle of his bat, and it drops well short of short leg. That’s the first ball of the over, and it’s an over of two halves – the first three deliveries short and fearsome, the next three wide and harmless.
22nd over: England 48-3 (Bell 11, Root 4)
Lyon continues, and Root – who had scored a single from the first ball of each of the three previous overs – has to wait until the second this time. It’s the only run of the over.
21st over: England 47-3 (Bell 11, Root 3)
Dropped! Mitchell bangs the ball across Bell, who nicks low, the ball flying between Nevill – slightly wrong-footed, he pulls out at the last minute – and Voges at first slip – who dives to his left and briefly has the ball in his left hand, but it doesn’t stick! “What do we think of that cricket Australia graphic counting down the English wickets?” asks Rick Butler. “‘Pretty ordinary’ isn’t it? Did the ECB do that last week? Their goading starts from the top.” It is both a simple and therefore perfecftly reasonable visual presentation of the state of play in this innings, and also, at the same time, a bit wrong.
20th over: England 44-3 (Bell 10, Root 1)
Lyon bowls for the first time today, and there’s a bit of turn here for him, too. England take a leg bye from the first, and leave it at that.
19th over: England 43-3 (Bell 10, Root 1)
Marsh shuffles off again after a single over, with Johnson replacing him. His first delivery is banged in hard and uncomfortably fended away by Root, who might have been caught if only Australia had a leg slip standing suicidally close to the bat. They didn’t, and England take a single.
18th over: England 42-3 (Bell 10, Root 0)
Starc bowls, and five leaves and a prod straight to a nearby fielder take England a few minutes closer to glory. Still, however, absolutely nowhere near glory.
This is not going entirely according to plan. From an English perspective. 3 down for not many. Again. Might need to rethink that tactic.
17th over: England 42-3 (Bell 10, Root 0)
So here we are. Again. An inspired bowling change – Marsh’s first delivery of the innings doing for Ballance – means that for the nth time in y games England have three down for nothing very much, and every Australian Mitchell has already taken a wicket this innings. If England have any chance of avoiding defeat here – and it’s increasingly apparent that they don’t, but let’s play the game, eh? – they cannot afford to lose another wicket today. Marsh’s last ball is banged in short and Root edges it into his face, fortunately well protected. A new helmet is called for.
Ballance goes first ball after drinks, a short delivery flicking off a glove and through to Nevill!
16th over: England 41-2 (Ballance 14, Bell 10)
Starc squares Ballance up and beats the outside edge once again. It does feel like a matter of time for this pair, but then again Gary Ballance doesn’t look in even when he’s in three figures. A single to deep midwicket from the final ball is the only run of the over.
15th over: England 40-2 (Ballance 13, Bell 10) Bell continues to look uncomfortable against Johnson, hopping about and knocking him round the corner from rib height for a single. Ballance then has to sway back as a sharp bouncer flies past his throat. He then almost falls over a full toss on leg stump, but manages to squirt it into the on side for a single. Change in the field then for Bell, facing the last ball, as a leg gully comes in, but Bell drops his hands away from the short ball.
Simon Burnton has been digging out some stats and you have to admire his dedication to finding the most tenuous out there:
Alastair Cook’s fortunes in the second innings are basically irrelevant to England, who have won or drawn 17 matches in which Cook has scored 15 runs or fewer in their second knock, and lost 20. And they’re actually significantly more likely to avoid defeat when Cook fluffs his lines in the first innings than when he doesn’t (23 won/drawn, 14 lost, after scores of 15 runs or fewer)
14th over: England 39-2 (Ballance 12, Bell 9) Mitchell Starc returns in place of Hazlewood, coming in from the Nursery End this time. There are two men out on the hook for Ballance, which seems odd, as Bumble point out, given that he never plays the hook. It’s even stranger given Starc is bowling wide outside off and Ballance drives nicely through extra cover for four to move into double figures.
13th over: England 35-2 (Ballance 8, Bell 9) Ballance drops his first ball into the off side and nips through for a single, allowing Ian Bell to take up residence in the Mitchell Johnson shaped firing line. Bell doesn’t look like he wants to be there, as he pushes out at one that’s angled across him; certainly no need to play at that, Ian.
“Seems pretty reasonable to question Lyth’s presence in the team,” writes Gareth Wilson. “Two innings, two absolutely atrocious shots which anyone with a brain could work out were incredibly low-percentage. That first inning sone in particular beggars belief. Sure, be aggressive, but also THINK. The guy is 27, not a callow 20 year old; he hasn’t got it it up top. Oh, and to Lawrence Booth’s commit about a ton against the kiwis two tests ago- how many lives did he have in that innings?”
12th over: England 34-2 (Ballance 7, Bell 9) Blessed runs for Ian Bell as Hazlewood goes on to leg stump, looking to bring it back in towards off but not managing it and Bell knocks it square through the leg side to the fence. There’s a very muted appeal a few balls later as Bell tries to hook one that’s whanged down the leg side, but the bat was nowhere near ball.
The cricket just keeps getting worse.
PLAY: Peters and Duckett opening up for Northants! Deficit is still 245 after being dismissed for 116 in the first innings. #NORvDER
11th over: England 30-2 (Ballance 7, Bell 5) Ballance survives, giving off that same air of confidence as Billy preparing for his sword fight against the Preadtor.
10th over: England 30-2 (Ballance 7, Bell 5) After an exchange of singles, Ballance just about keeps a low one out with the bottom end of his bat. He drops the final ball into the off side for a quick single, which means he’ll be exposed to Johnson next up.
“Hi Dan,” writes Tony Cowards. “I love how the away team in cricket is referred to as the tourists, it conjures up images of the Aussies trudging around the London Underground, standing on the wrong side of escalators and blocking the entrances whilst starring intently into their guidebooks trying to work out how to get to Piccadilly Circus.”
9th over: England 27-2 (Ballance 5, Bell 4) Change of bowling as Johnson replaces Starc, getting his first go with this hard new ball. He gets it to stay very low outside off, as he did in the first innings, largely down to his low slingy arm action. There’s nothing there that should interest Cook, but he picks the wrong shot and pays for it. England aren’t so much staring down the barrel as grabbing it and twisting it towards their own temple. Oof and then Bell gets an absolute peach first ball, swinging back in from a length, through the gate and catching the inside edge millimetres past his leg stump and down to fine leg for four. He just about fends off a bouncer last up.
This is really poor. It’s a rank half tracker that moves away, but not far away enough for the cut shot to be on. Cut at it Cook does, getting a top edge through to the keeper.
8th over: England 23-1 (Ballance 5, Cook 11) Watchful from Cook, seeing of Hazelwood and digging out one that keeps low nicely. They run a single, then Ballance clips the last ball through the acres of space left out on the on side and away for four.
On Sky, Atherton makes the point that as a Yorkshireman playing most of his cricket at Headingley, Lyth won’t be used to leaving on length as often. That said, Hussain makes the counterpoint that he does keep getting out the same way, prodding at balls he has no business playing it. There isn’t really anyone banging on the door in County Cricket though.
Two Tests ago Lyth makes an accomplished hundred against NZ. Now people want him out. This isn't the 1980s, folks!
7th over: England 18-1 (Ballance 1, Cook 10) In fact Hawkeye has that lbw appeal in the last over pitching in line, but it was going well over the top in any case. Here, Ballance takes a huge step back, almost on to his stumps, and turns the first ball off his chest and down to long leg for one. Cook then opens the face to a wide, full outswinger, guiding it behind point all along the ground for four down the slope. He keeps the strike with a mistimed chop to point for one.
6th over: England 12-1 (Ballance 0, Cook 5) Is there any player in world cricket you’d rather have play out a maiden for your life than Alastair Cook? There’s a strangled shout for lbw, but it’s pitched well outside leg.
“Perhaps this is the first time ever that a Lord’s pitch has been prepared such as to nullify the threat of Anderson’s bowling,” suggests John Bottomley. “It is also a pitch that makes Test cricket boring.”
5th over: England 12-1 (Ballance 0, Cook 5) Starc sends down a short, wide loosener that Lyth reaches for and toe-ends into the ground, trying to cut. It’s good that he’s playing his natural game, I guess... oh no he won’t be doing that any more. Nine to go. Ballance’s first ball is full and swinging, but well kept out, and his second a bouncer that he ducks well.
That was really poor from Lyth, playing at one that was always going to fly miles over the stumps. Really no need to play any shot at all.
Ballance coming in at <11 overs for the 16th time in his last 21 innings at number three.
Oh dear. Back of a length, outside off and Lyth fends at it with the hands away from the body. It takes the thinnest of edges and it’s an easy catch for Nevill.
4th over: England 12-0 (Lyth 7, Cook 5) Four slips and a short leg in for Lyth, facing Hazlewood in the first over after lunch. The bowler was a touch wayward before lunch and he stays on to leg here; Lyth gratefully clips it off his pads through midwicket for his first boundary, before dropping the fifth ball into the off side and jogging a single. Ooh and then risky from Cook, who prods the final ball into the on side with soft hands and sees it drop a couple of inches in front of short leg’s fingers.
David Wall asks: “Re. Lunch: as a serious question, do the players really have a three course meal at lunch time as the players’ menu suggests, or can they pick and choose a couple of things as they like? Perhaps the sports science shows otherwise but on the face of it you’d have though rushing down a load of food, some of it sounding quite heavy, in about half an hour wouldn’t be the best thing to be on top of your game in the afternoon session. Sounds more likely to induce an afternoon nap, perhaps down at fine leg or third man. Wouldn’t the standard Guardian OBO-ers’ menu of pickled onion monster munch, tepid soup from the vending machine, and a chunky kitkat be more appropriate to keep them lean and alert?”
Well when I was playing Tests...
A more realistic take on how England can save this:
@DanLucas86 England's 8 (that's 8!!) proper batsmen need to bat an average of 150 mins for the draw. On this pitch, not that hard surely?
There was a typo in my Anderson stat earlier: it was The Oval, rather than Lord’s, where he went wicketless in both innings. This is the first time he’s failed to take a wicket at the home of cricket. And...
This is first time in 59 Tests James Anderson hasn’t taken a wicket - longest run since Fred Trueman went 67 Tests pic.twitter.com/gkipX80pFa
Afternoon folks. I’ve been doing some maths and some logical thinking stuff and here’s what I’ve figured out.
England have batted three overs in this innings and have lost zero wickets. There are another 152 overs in this Test match and 152 x 0 = zero. They also scored seven runs in those three overs.
And so to lunch. Here’s the players’ menu, which provokes one significant question: what precisely has Marian done to the swordfish?
… and exhale. There’s an edge from Cook, but the ball bounces about three feet from the bat, no chance of a catch. Still, it might have got the batsman’s nerves aflutter, and Starc emphatically fails to capitalise with three wide deliveries that he can leave with ease. England go for lunch, just the 502 runs from glory.
@Simon_Burnton Having failed with Google can I tap The Wisdom of OBO? Does anyone know how I can stream TMS from abroad? #Ashes2015
2nd over: England 7-0 (Lyth 2, Cook 5)
Hazlewood’s first over is all over the place linewise, with deliveries going down leg, well wide of off and straight. The last two yield singles. One over to go before lunch, and England remain uncrumbled.
1st over: England 5-0 (Lyth 1, Cook 4)
Obviously the sun shines on Australia’s batsmen, and then clouds arrive the moment an Englishman straps on a pad. He defends Starc’s first delivery competently enough, leaves the second, and gets a single from the third. Just repeat that triple-whammy about 400 times and England are home dry. Cook pushes his first ball off his pads and square for four. There’s a loud lbw appeal off the next, which other than possibly pitching outside the line, definitely flicking the bat and probably being on its way over the stumps was a decent shout.
Out come the batsmen. If England are going to do this, they need big runs, they need to score them slowly, and they want absolutely no drama in the 11 or so minutes between now and lunch. Here goes …
Some stat action from Dan Lucas:
James Anderson’s wicketless innings was his third in a row. The last time he experienced such a drought was six years ago in the 2009 Ashes, where he failed to take a wicket in the only Australia innings at Headingley and was also luckless in both digs at the Oval.
The biggest successful fourth-innings run chase in first class history is West Zone’s 541 to beat South Zone in the Duleep Trophy final in Hyderabad in 2010. Enjoy the scoreboard here.
49th over: Australia 254-2 (Clarke 32, Marsh 27)
Marsh runs down the wicket and smashes Moeen down the ground for six, taking England’s target beyond 500. And then he does it again, not quite as convincingly but with an identical result. Australia decide that’ll do, and fancy a few pre-lunch overs at England’s quaking, fearful and out-of-sorts top order.
48th over: Australia 239-2 (Clarke 30, Marsh 14)
Marsh inside-edges the final ball to very fine leg for four, ending a run of 12 singles (and one dot) from 13 successive Root deliveries.
@Simon_Burnton Please Burnton, England are doomed anyway, can you please print all the emails of the Wright couple? pretty please :D
47th over: Australia 231-2 (Clarke 28, Marsh 8)
Moeen bowls, and in addition to three more singles there’s a two. England’s target is also way out in world record territory, but Australia aren’t finished yet.
46th over: Australia 227-2 (Clarke 25, Marsh 7)
Root bowls, and it’s like an episode of Blind Date – a whole bunch of singles, but not especially exciting. Six singles, to be precise. A full house. Up on the Australia balcony, there’s no sign of anyone preparing for anything.
A relatively sedate over from Moeen, bringing as it does a couple of singles.
44th over: Australia 219-2 (Clarke 21, Marsh 3)
More spin, with Joe Root coming on, and his first ball is pretty much giftwrapped, and Clarke sends it to the deep extra cover boundary. “At the risk of sounding like the bickering airport tannoys at the start of Airplane, please allow me to point out that my wife’s title of ‘Cricket Expert’ is self-appointed and open to debate,” roars Rob Wright, responding to the email of over 36. “Shouting ‘Ooh that’s plum!’ whenever there’s a sniff of LBW, and ‘Gosh, James Anderson is a handsome man’ does not necessarily equate to cricketing expertise. How we laughed on the way to Relate…”
43rd over: Australia 210-2 (Clarke 15, Marsh 0)
Smith took 48 balls over his 58, out in search of his 10th boundary. Highlight of the over was a perfect slog-sweep from Clarke, not really any less delicious because it picked out a fielder. “The Aussies could declare now, but being somewhat cautious will probably wait until 12:30 - 12:40, so as to have a few overs at the English openers and successors and enjoy lunch even more,” predicts John Starbuck.
Smith advances down the pitch and attempts to launch the ball into orbit, but misses.
42nd over: Australia 208-1 (Smith 57, Clarke 14)
Broad switches up, going over the wicket and bowling straight and wide at Smith, rather than across him and wide. Smith doesn’t put up with it for long, hacking the second ball to midwicket for a couple, smashing the third past point for four – most of the fielders are out there waiting for it, and they still can’t get anywhere near it – and wandering way wide of off stump before inside-edging the fourth to the fine leg boundary. Broad bowls the fifth at the stumps, and it too goes to fine leg for four. Somewhere in the middle of those three boundaries, he passes 50. Australia lead by 462.
41st over: Australia 193-1 (Smith 42, Clarke 14)
Moeen’s opening delivery is sent soaring over extra cover by Clarke for four. There have been some lovely shots played in the last hour, and we should probably enjoy it while we can, as I don’t expect we’ll be seeing much aggression for the remainder of the day. If Australia wanted a lead of 450, it is now just three runs away.
40th over: Australia 187-1 (Smith 41, Clarke 9)
Broad’s over starts with a nice yorker, which Clarke digs out for a single, and a couple more singles follow. Smith, still tired of chasing after wide balls when Broad’s bowling, gets around it by twice taking guard three feet wide of the stumps. Five singles and two off the last, and Australia lead by 441.
@Simon_Burnton What is this soi disant "scoreboard pressure"? Everyone expects England to lose, so don't look at the scoreboard. Just net.
39th over: Australia 180-1 (Smith 37, Clarke 6)
Bang! Clarke hoiks the ball over midwicket for four! Biff! Smith bashes it down the ground for four more! And here’s some news just in from Ali Martin at Lord’s:
Update from the Cricket Australia media manager on the condition of Rogers, who tells us he simply suffered a sudden dizzy spell out in the middle. He was fine before the start of play but is now resting in the dressing room. So no visit to the neighbouring Wellington Hospital as it stands, which is good news.
38th over: Australia 171-1 (Smith 33, Clarke 1)
Smith, having chased a wide Broad delivery in his last over, chases another one in this. He misses it again. Then he does it one more time, and this time tonks the ball straight to point. Bored of having to reach for wide balls, next time Smith shuffles across a bit more than usual, which allows him to bosh the ball high to the deep extra cover boundary.
37th over: Australia 167-1 (Smith 29, Clarke 1)
Clarke gets under way first ball, with a slightly risky single to mid off, where Stokes collects the ball, takes a shy at the stumps and misses. “So what will be the tipping point now for the declaration now Warner has gone? 500 lead?” asks Dave Milnes. I’d have thought they’d want at least 450, but really five full sessions with no rain forecast should be enough, so if they fancy carrying on until lunch surely there’s no reason why they shouldn’t. They currently lead by 421.
A wicket! England take a wicket! Warner slashes the ball high to short extra cover, where the captain takes the catch!
36th over: Australia 164-0 (Warner 83, Smith 27)
Broad bowls now, and when he gives Smith some width the batsman is tempted into an ugly side-batted swish, which completely misses the ball. The next ball is paddled around the corner for three. “I’m Cleone, Rob Wright’s wife. My husband seems to have a pretty good record at getting his emails printed so thought I’d give it a go,” writes Cleone Wright, and with an opening like that it’s hard to refuse. “Hope Rogers is ok, photos look worrying. We are on the train home after attending Lords yesterday. Lovely day as always at Lords but a depressing position for England. I suspect batting for five sessions is beyond our boys on this wicket, so to me it’s onwards and upwards to the next test. I can cope with a 4-1 victory instead of a whitewash. My theory is we are letting them win this one to give them hope, so that when we crush them it will be all the sweeter.
35th over: Australia 158-0 (Warner 80, Smith 24)
Moeen continues, and after a Warner single Smith edges well wide of the single slip for four. There’s also a smattering of singles. Australia lead by 412.
Five of Warner's 12 Test hundreds have come in the third innings
34th over: Australia 151-0 (Warner 78, Smith 19)
Warner crunches the ball through the covers, very nice shot, and then Smith flicks the ball into the air but perfectly safe, over midwicket and away for four more. Australia roar past 150, lead by 405 and will presumably stay out until Warner’s reached triple figures but not much longer.
@Simon_Burnton dizziness? I think Rogers saw a stray Watto payslip late yesterday I bet he has been awake thinking what if all night #Ashes
33rd over: Australia 142-0 (Warner 73, Smith 15)
Moeen Ali replaces Anderson, and Smith goes for a drive, misjudges the bounce and inside edges past his stumps – well wide of the stumps – and away for three. Then Warner pulls through midwicket, Ian Bell dives to stop the ball a foot from the rope and he too gets three runs. Smith’s going at a run a ball, and Warner looks ready to play a few shots.
32nd over: Australia 133-0 (Warner 67, Smith 12)
Droppedish! Wood keeps bowling straight at Warner, and he tries to club the ball over Root at mid on, but the fielder leaps up one-handed and gets a few fingertips to it, but can’t hold on.
31st over: Australia 130-0 (Warner 65, Smith 11)
Smith drives past cover for four, off the middle of the bat, nicely timed. Anderson’s last six overs have each featured one four.
@Simon_Burnton hope that Rogers is well, can't help but think he brought it upon himself. A strike rate of 63.63 is dizzingly high for him.
30th over: Australia 126-0 (Warner 65, Smith 7)
Wood continues to Warner, bowling at or over the stumps, very straight. One goes a little towards leg, and Warner flicks it fine for four.
29th over: Australia 122-0 (Warner 61, Smith 7)
Smith gets off the mark with three runs to deep extra cover, and gets even further from the mark with a flick to the deep square leg boundary.
Between overs Rogers takes off his helmet and goes down on his knees. After a minute or so, he sits back on the ground. Someone runs on with a bottle of water, though surely it’s a bit early in the day for dehydration to be an issue. He was hit hard on the head by an Anderson bouncer yesterday, which hopefully has nothing to do with anything. Given the match position, surely there’s no point taking any risks with his health. Up on the balcony, Steve Smith pulls on his gloves.
28th over: Australia 114-0 (Warner 60, Rogers 49)
Mark Wood starts the day with a straight yorker, and Warner jams his bat down upon the ball. England kind of hope this might have squished the ball sufficiently for them to get a new one, but the umpires twice deny their request. And then Warner defends to point, Rogers runs halfway down the track in search of a run that was never there and might have been run out, had the fielder only been facing the other way when he picked up the ball. A maiden.
27th over: Australia 114-0 (Warner 60, Rogers 49)
Anderson bowls, and there’s a single, a leg bye, a boundary past point and one delivery that bounces unexpectedly high and angrily smacks Rogers’ bat in the shoulder.
In the third innings when Australia have a 1st innings lead, David Warner has 1086 runs at 63.88 with five centuries. pic.twitter.com/gfh3h8oFeL
The players trot out. Big day, this. Australia will hope to end it on the verge of victory. England have no hope of victory, but will hope to at least end it with lots of wickets in hand and a chance of a draw. Let’s (watch other people) play(ing) cricket!
So Michael Vaughan says England have “shot themselves in the foot” by asking for a slow pitch at Lord’s. “By preparing a real slow wicket, you’re basically saying you don’t trust your top seven, which is a really poor message to send,” he told the BBC. ““It hasn’t been good for England or for cricket. It just gave Australia the opportunity to get that confident buzz back into the side.” Whatever the pre-match logic, it’s certainly ended up looking very silly indeed, and there’s no much point in having an “attacking brand of cricket” if you’ve got such a negative brand of pitch-preparation.
My colleague Daniel Harris appears to be at Lord’s, though I’m not far away and don’t see any of those grey clouds. Anyway, wine straight from the bottle at 10.30am shows real commitment.
In case you’re still hoping for rain today, here’s a weather forecast featuring chances of precipitation. In brief: no chance.
Hello world!
There was talk of rain delaying the start today, but instead the sky is bright blue, dappled with occasional fluffy clouds. So nothing will stop Australia’s unhurried run-accumulation except Australia themselves, when they’ve decided they’ve got enough of them. They lead by 362, so will want another 80-odd and to leave themselves plenty of time to bowl England out on this flat, dry and featureless strip of earth:
Hello. Simon will be along shortly for the fourth day of the second Test. The first three days have been low on highlights for England, but one man shone with the bat in the refined air of a Lord’s Saturday, or so says Barney Ronay:
There was a brief period before lunch at Lord’s when England looked to be in command, if not of the Test match, then at least of their immediate destiny. As Lord’s hummed and chattered in the sunshine, the clock not yet ticked round to the approved champagne-popping hour just before midday, it seemed possible England’s batsman might even be about to provide a show to fit the occasion. Or in other words, for a while this looked like it might be a Ben Stokes day.
Saturday of the Lord’s Test is an occasion that still seems to demand a little extra burnish, played out in front of a crowd that retains a kind of shared red-trousered folk memory of the social season, pegged out around Henley, Wimbledon, Lord’s, and assorted other summer bean-feasts. The narrow public spaces are extra-crammed with pleasure-seekers. The boater count, the combined chino-acreage, reach a seasonal pitch. And the entire elegantly shadowed micro-climate seems to hum with a fresh pitch of self-regarding event glamour.
And that’s it for the day, with the covers still on. An extra half-hour will be added on tomorrow now. It’s been England’s day, in every way, though if we may be critical for a second, then the dismissal of Bell just before the rain came will have taken just a little of the sheen from it, given that a storybook heart-warming home hundred looked on the cards. The home side’s advantage is down mainly to a fine, well-executed bowling performance from their seamers, particularly but by no means exclusively Anderson, and some surprisingly limp Australian batting. One wonders when both these sides will play well at the same time in this series. Perhaps they will tomorrow, who knows? Join us then – same place, same time – to find out. Thanks for your company, emails and wildly variable ideas on what constituted decent pop music in 1987. Bye.
Rain stops play. They’re off again, possibly for the final time today. Though we’ve technically got 19 more overs scheduled.
29th over: England 133-3 (Root 30, Bairstow 1). Starc has four slips in for Bairstow, who is indeed standing much taller in the crease than he did in 2013-14, along with that high bat-lift stance. With the gloom deepening, and a touch of rain in the air, he’s watchful for four deliveries before pushing and running a snatched single to get off the mark.
28th over: England 132-3 (Root 30, Bairstow 0). Lyon returns for a second over, having taken the most bizarre/extraordinary wicket with his first. And strikes again. He’s round the wicket at Bell, who is watchful with two well pitched up deliveries before throwing his wicket away, advancing down the track and mishitting an attempted straight drive. It’s up in the air and comes down into the hands of David Warner on the onside. So Jonny Bairstow gets his chance tonight.
27th over: England 131-2 (Bell 53, Root 29). Starc comes round the wicket at Bell, and does at least manage to cramp his style a little more. But not enough to prevent him going to 50 with a lovely cover drive for four. A controlled pull from a shorter ball brings two more and England are nearly in front. This first day is so reminiscent of a day from May 1997 that it’s a surprise no senior Labour party grandees have sought to package it up and impose it on the current leadership contest.
26th over: England 125-2 (Bell 47, Root 29). And here’s why it’s nice to see Root and Bell further up the order: the former unfurls the most gloriously textbook of cover drives from Hazlewood. Another two, then another four – this one clipped through the legside and over Johnson’s missed dive in the outfield, for added value – get the crowd fired up even more. The comeback ball, however, might just be the best wicketless delivery of the day, an absolute peach of a probing away-seamer, just back of a length, that could so easily have taken Root’s edge, or the top of off stump for that matter.
Up in the commentary box, Bumble, Atherton and Hussain are doing that fumbling-around-unsuccessfully-with-technology thing they habitually do while trying to plug one of Sky’s iPad apps. Then they give up.
25th over: England 115-2 (Bell 47, Root 19). Four more for Root with a dabbed edge past the slips. Big exasperated sighs from Starc. He gets a bit more encouragement from an inswinger that takes Root’s edge and drops short of the slips, and the batsmen run one. The lights are on and it looks gloomy over Birmingham.
24th over: England 110-2 (Bell 47, Root 14). Hazlewood continues at the City End. He’s still finding plenty of swing and, despite having been expensive, is perhaps making better use of it than his colleagues. Root is well beaten by one such display of it, and hurries through for a single at the end of a tighter, better over.
23rd over: England 109-2 (Bell 47, Root 13). More ch-ch-ch-changes, as Starc is reintroduced to the attack, but the flow of runs continues as a confident square drive on the offside brings Bell four more and England to three figures. He gets four more in the same region when Starc overpitches and the drive is easy and confident. If Gower in the commentary box is fretting a tad about the airy nature of some of his shots, no fault can be found with the third boundary of the over, a deft, brilliantly timed late cut past the slips. By Bell’s recent standards, this is a substantial score and his response to his promotion up the order appears to have been to really go for it, though the match situation may have much to do with this. And that’s drinks.
22nd over: England 97-2 (Bell 35, Root 13). Hazlewood continues, but Bell continues to enjoy himself at his expense, with even a slightly loose airy drive square on the offside bringing him four of his less impressive run. The bowler’s comeback ball is the best bowled by anyone for a while though, with his movement off the pitch beating Bell outside off-stump and even sparking an almost-appeal from Hazlewood. One more run completes the over.
21st over: England 92-2 (Bell 30, Root 13). We have our first SIX of the day when Root swivels and top-edges Johnson behind him right over the ropes. The bowler might not be totally disheartened by that, were it not for the fact that England are already closing in on a first-innings lead. Johnson and Root exchange some looks’n’verbals after another short-ish ball passes through to the keeper.
20th over: England 86-2 (Bell 30, Root 7). The chopping and changing continues as Lyon is rewarded for his wicket by removal from the attack after one over. Hazlewood’s back from what one would imagine is his favoured end after his brief mauling at Bell’s hands from the Pavilion End a few minutes back. However, he concedes another four when Root nudges a slightly awry legside delivery down to the fine leg boundary. Another clip down to deep square leg is the only other scoring shot of the over.
19th over: England 81-2 (Bell 30, Root 2). More tinkerman stuff from Clarke, as Johnson is back into the attack to greet Root’s arrival. Bell takes a single, which gives the bowler a chance – after an over-cooked wide – to do one of his favourite things and spear one into Root’s ribs, but Yorkshire’s finest fends it away deftly enough and gets down the other end for a single.
18th over: England 78-2 (Bell 29, Root 1). For the first time all day we have spin, with Nathan Lyon on at the City End. And it works straight away. Lyon drops short, and Cook pulls it straight into the midriff of Voges at short leg. The fielder knew nothing about it, but he can claim a remarkable catch. Everyone, including the camera operatives, had panned over the boundary assuming it had gone for four. But Cook’s fun is over. Root comes in and is off the mark second ball with a legside swipe for a single. Bell adds one more run.
17th over: England 76-1 (Cook 34, Bell 28) Johnson’s short sharp spell is ended – “You’re not bowling anymore,” chorus the Barmy Army – and Hazlewood rejoins the attack. But Bell is on top of him straight away, cracking a cover drive, then a squarer drive and then a legside flick away for three consecutive fours. This partnership is more than a run a ball at the moment. Heady stuff.
With England currently in the ascendant, let’s continue our ruminations on their shortcomings: “Hey Tom,” chirps Will Bird. “Thoughts on Ali moving up to open with Cook? He could handle the pressure. And maybe bring in Taylor to shore up the tail?” I’m not convinced by Ali as an ODI opener to be honest, and he’s made some useful contributions – both defensively and as a lower-order dasher – from where he’s been in the past year or so.
16th over: England 64-1 (Cook 34, Bell 16) Fun and frolics aplenty for the home fans, and lots of runs.Perhaps the loudest cheer of the day goes up as Johnson misfields at deep square leg after a confident clip from Bell to concede a four. Another single means a change of sides for Johnson, who now has to field in front of the Hollies Stand and is brought into action straight away to pick up Cook’s legside flick. Which he does without fumbling this time, to much braying. I think this is what they call Epic Bantz. The home crowd’s good mood is enhanced further when Cook slashes with abandon and confidence at a wild Marsh delivery outside off stump and gets four more.
15th over: England 53-1 (Cook 28, Bell 11) Johnson asks a few more questions of Bell with a couple that nip back sharply at him, and then a shorter one that the batsman pulls somewhat uncomfortably for a single down to deep square leg. Cook, whisper it, is looking more comfortable though and he clips Johnson for four through midwicket with precision timing. England have passed 50 FOR THE LOSS OF ONLY ONE WICKET! Unbelievable scenes.
“If the Aussies were in charge of England they would have Hales in by now,” surmises Neil Toolan. “I cannot help thinking there is a synergy here in promoting Hales into the Test arena with that of David Warners ascension in the Australian ranks. I’m not sure if the Aussies would be worried about any of the other candidates as they appear to be about Lyth. Finally England want a positive opener as a foil to Cook and a left hand / right hand combination would not go amiss.”
14th over: England 48-1 (Cook 24, Bell 10) Marsh cuts Cook in half with a lovely inswinger that is as equally impressively taken behind the stumps by Nevill. It’s a good over, with a couple of testing length deliveries slanted across the left-hander to complement those brought back at him, but when he overpitches with one, Cook flicks him away casually on the offside for two. “That current openers list might be made easier if it were used to effect a Mitchell of the Match prizem,” says John Starbuck cryptically. “Just kidding, I’d like to see Hales in too, and James Taylor for Bell if the latter fails (hope he doesn’t though).” Taylor would seem to be hovering closest to the team of all the contenders at the moment to be honest.
13th over: England 46-1 (Cook 22, Bell 10) Johnson strays just a little down the leg side at Bell with that trademark late swing, and concedes four leg-byes when one brushes the batsman’s thigh and races to the ropes. Johnson then goes short and Bell decides to take him on, hooking with verve and getting four more backwards of square. A good over for England.
12th over: England 38-1 (Cook 22, Bell 6) There’s a double change of bowling, with Mitchell Marsh on at the City End. He concedes his first runs with a very good ball, bringing a full-length delivery back at Cook, who inside edges down to the fine leg boundary for four. It’s the only scoring shot of a decent enough opening over.
Regarding openers, both James Soper and Mark Healy shout the odds for Alex Hales, on whose home ground the next Test takes place. And here’s some stats:
11th over: England 34-1 (Cook 18, Bell 6) Johnson hasn’t been held back for long after all – he’s on for Starc at the Pavilion End, to the usual fate-tempting refrains of the “He bowls to the left…” chant. He works Bell over early on with a short ball aimed at the ribcage that the Warwickshire batsman dabs down past short leg for a single. Cook gets a testing ball on a different length – inswinging full and straight – that he manages to deflect a little uppishly towards Rogers at short square leg, before he adds two on the offside with a little more ease.
“Re the Shane Warne tweet,” emails Donald McMain from a parallel universe of giddy optimism that no other English cricket fan has ever visited, “Now that Lyth’s out England can declare for 348 and leave five overs to bowl Australia out before the close of play - so yes, the good money’s on Australia batting again tonight.”
10th over: England 32-1 (Cook 17, Bell 5) It had looked as if Mitchell Johnson was preparing to come into the attack before Lyth’s dismissal but with a right-hander now in, Clarke persists with Hazlewood for the time being. Bell drives confidently towards his most voluble supporters in the Hollies Stand for three, which is the only scoring shot of the over. Is it too early, or too unfair, to be having the “what other in-form openers are around at the moment?” conversation yet?
9th over: England 29-1 (Cook 17, Bell 2) Starc continues and Bell gets another single straight away. Cook then produces a lovely punch off the back foot for four, which in turn prompts Starc to up his game and beat the England captain all ends up next ball with a fiendish late awayswinger. Just before Lyth went, Philip Bryden sent in this perfectly timed email: “No need for theatrics tonight, just go into the close with ten wickets intact, that’ll be the icing on today’s cake!”. Which would be worthy of mass condemnation had I not done the same thing in the previous over.
8th over: England 24-1 (Cook 13, Bell 1) Cook turns Hazlewood away square with confidence for a single. And then … what do you know? Lyth goes cheaply again, driving loosely at Hazlewood and Voges pouches it at the second attempt at second slip. It’s a careless shot after a composed start. Bell’s arrival at the crease earns hearty applause from the locals and he’s off the mark with a hurried single. Cook then adds four more with an excellent controlled pull shot. This is a really pivotal period now.
7th over: England 18-0 (Lyth 10, Cook 8) Starc continues to find the sort of boomerang swing that is easily enough left before Lyth gets hold of a fuller length ball and drives it through the covers for two. He gets four more with a nudge round the corner to the fine leg boundary. Given that one can sense, even from an office 120 miles away, the collective nervousness about England’s top order, you might expect something a bit more probing from Australia. We’ve not seen it. Yet… YET.
The best Australians, of course, are known for being aggressively optimistic and backing themselves:
6th over: England 12-0 (Lyth 4, Cook 8) Hazlewood finds a fuller and straighter line, but Cook pushes him firmly down the pitch for a single. Lyth adds another with a clip towards mid-on that Marsh, in the thick of it again, fumbles slightly once more.
5th over: England 10-0 (Lyth 3, Cook 7) Starc continues, and finds some fairly extravagant swing, without managing to tempt or trouble Cook, who leaves four innocuous balls in the prescribed Proper Cricket manner and then pushes a single on the offside. Which brings Lyth on strike and he plays his best shot so far with a confident punch down the ground. Marsh hares after it, slips just short of the ropes as he attempts to retrieve but manages to prevent the boundary. They run two.
4th over: England 7-0 (Lyth 1, Cook 6) The one ball remaining of Hazlewood’s over is a dot.
Afternoon again everyone. When I was a lad, my dear old grandad (God rest his soul) would insistently impart one key piece of advice when the subject of batting came up in conversation: when faced with a length ball outside off stump, he’d say, either leave it well alone or get on top of it and thump it. Too many modern players just leave their bats out to dry, he’d complain. Well, he’d have been admonishing the Australians left, right and centre today, as they repeatedly left the wrong balls and dangled their bats at the right ones. As a result, England’s skillful and intelligent bowling got more than ample reward. Now, they must battle to avoid the same pitfalls.
Anyway, out they come again.
I’m handing back to Tom now, who will see you through to stumps on what’s been a glorious first day so far for England. Whether that will still be the case come half past seven, we shall see. Thanks for all your emails, tweets and almost total pessimism. That’s what an Ashes summer is all about.
4th over: England 7-0 (Lyth 1, Cook 6) Four slips and a short leg in place as Hazlewood bowls to Cook, who coolly works a full ball to midwicket for three. Lyth looks to have settled a touch, leaving Hazlewood’s teasing deliveries outside off well alone. Having said that, he then immediately edges, but it won’t carry to captain Clarke in the slips. The rain is falling again, and that means tea will come early. Now surely, that’s A Good Thing For England...
3rd over: England 4-0 (Lyth 1, Cook 3) Starc is getting the new ball to move, and bamboozles Lyth with a good length ball that fizzes off the seam. Any hope for England that the visiting bowlers would magically be unable to find the same movement have been quickly undone. Just one from the over, but the primary objective – no wickets before tea – remains on course.
2nd over: England 3-0 (Lyth 1, Cook 2) “The rain is coming...” Ned Starks Paul Kavanagh. With half an hour until tea, I doubt England will be too devastated. Josh Hazlewood, who Ricky Ponting reckons is perfectly suited to these conditions, has Lyth in a tangle with a full, straight ball that ricochets a few inches over the stumps. Cook, who looks a far safer pair of hands already, flicks his wrists for a single to fine leg. Hazlewood then finds the perfect line, and Lyth is lucky to see it swing a hair’s breadth past his outside edge.
1st over: England 0-0 (Lyth 0, Cook 0) 48 overs remain today, and they could be absolutely pivotal in this series. Starc finds movement from the first ball, trying to tempt the often tentative Lyth into an edge. A length delivery swings away, and Lyth nervily prods at fresh air. A maiden, which will please Gary Naylor:
@niallmcveigh 100-0? Let's not be greedy. I'd be happy with 0-0 or even 0-2 at the close. It's time to dig in.
So, no wickets in four days for Anderson at Lord’s, and now six in under two hours – including a rain break. Skittling Australia for 136 was an outcome that only existed in Alastair’s Cook wildest dreams last night – Chris Rogers and Steve Smith each scored more by themselves at Lord’s – but as always, there’s a nagging doubt that won’t be salved until England are 100 without loss at stumps.
Lyon, a capable enough batsman for a No11, sends a full delivery over midwicket for four, then hits a less convincing thick edge which flies over the slips. Just as murmurs of concern spread around Edgbaston, Anderson gets his sixth wicket, as Lyon edges straight into his own stumps.
36th over: Australia 128-9 (Hazelwood 14, Lyon 3) Lyon gets off the mark with a cut behind square that should run for four, but the ever-tenacious Ben Stokes chases it down. Hazlewood is next to face Broad, who overpitches down the off side, giving Hazlewood room to drive past mid-off for four. Broad’s seen enough, and fires down two vicious bouncers – Hazlewood almost gloves the first, and decides to duck and cover the second time.
35th over: Australia 120-9 (Hazelwood 9, Lyon 0) Just the one run from the over, Hazlewood driving Anderson to backward point. Some might argue there’s no great rush to see this out, with better weather to come tomorrow morning. Adam Lyth, for instance.
34th over: Australia 119-9 (Hazelwood 8, Lyon 0) Buttler dives full length to stop a wide Broad delivery from disappearing for four. Lyon survives the over – a wicket maiden for Broad. Three overs for Australia to match England’s 37-over second innings effort at Lord’s. “Looks like England will avoid the follow on” predicts Seth Ennis. Don’t get cocky.
Australia undone once again by indecision around the off-stump, as Starc leaves an angled Broad ball so tentatively that it clips the bottom of the bat and sails through to Buttler.
33rd over: Australia 119-8 (Starc 11, Hazelwood 8) Hazlewood swings at a wide Anderson delivery, and it pings over the slips for a fortunate four. Jimmy gets back to heaving straight at the stumps – England haven’t had to do much more – but Hazlewood offers a straight bat, before another risky swing runs away to third man for another four.
32nd over: Australia 110-8 (Starc 10, Hazelwood 0) So Stuart Broad, who has battled away in the shadow of Anderson and Finn, gets his first wicket, and it as good as ends what little resistance Australia have offered. Hazlewood sees out the over with little comfort.
Adam Hirst is thinking what we’re all now thinking:
Rogers picks up a couple of runs with a punch beyond cover point, mithers about movement in the stands again – and then Broad traps him on the back foot! Aleem Dar raises a finger, Rogers reviews – well, he would – but there’s no reprieve. Rogers has gone!
31st over: Australia 108-7 (Rogers 50, Starc 10) Anderson is hunting for more wickets, but Starc straight-bats again for a couple, before a chip over the infield runs away for four. Anderson, very much firing on all cylinders, gets a warning for straying too far down the track.
30th over: Australia 102-7 (Rogers 50, Starc 4) The players are back out, and Broad finishes off his over, coming perilously close to taking care of Starc immediately, pitching outside off and almost clipping the off stump as Starc left it alone. Starc picks up three, pushing a full one down the ground. That’s the ton up for Australia. At Lord’s, by the time England took the seventh wicket, Australia had totted up 536.
Thanks Tom. So, Jimmy has a five-fer and Australia, having won the toss and chosen to bat, are struggling to scrap into triple figures. England fans must be on top of the world, right?
“If the Aussies are 99-7 on a track they wanted to bat on. What will England score? 50?Watching Johnson walk off it seemed there was a “see you in a bit lads” swagger about him..” says Rich Graeme.
The covers are coming off again. Play expected to resume at 3.15pm
Anyway, as Sky broadcasts one of its horribly self-congratulatory (and palpably untrue) ads for its football coverage of what it claims is “the best league in the world”, I’ll hand you back to Niall McVeigh to talk us through what the weather and the cricket have to offer us over the next hour or so. See you later.
29.2 overs: Australia 99-7 (Rogers 50, Starc 1). Rain stops play. Umbrellas and plastic ponchos are going on around the ground as Broad continues, but for only two more balls before the umpires signal a retreat to the pavilion as the rain intensifies a little. We’re off for a bit.
29th over: Australia 99-7 (Rogers 50, Starc 1) Anderson comes round the wicket at the new man in, Starc, and he has mid-off brought in a fraction and five slips, the fourth of whom, Lyth, almost pouches a catch from Starc’s low edge but it bounces just in front of him. A single ensues, the only such of the over.
I know what you’re thinking: we’ve not heard from Sara Torvalds in this session. Well, we have now:
The question Michael Hunt raised fails to take into account that Finland is officially bilingual: I, for instance, speak Swedish as my first language. And there is a sizeable number of Finnish-speakers in Sweden (it’s an official minority language over there). So, will a postcard in Swedish from Finland do?
Of course within the rapidly growing number of #FinnsForFinn we are in favour of any and all languages, though it must be said that the Swedish #FinländareFörFinn works slightly better than the Finnish equivalent #SuomalaisetFinninPuolesta, particularly as the form of the name Finn used in that hashtag is the same as the Finnish word for ‘pimple’ (another Swedish variant, #FinnarFörFinn would also be ambiguous in the same way, in addition to suggesting to some readers that only Finnish-speaking Finns are supportive of Finn).
28th over: Australia 98-7 (Rogers 50, Starc 0) Broad returns and causes Rogers some discomfort with one brought back into him, which strikes the left-hander above the pad. Uncharacteristically, Rogers then opens his shoulders and chips riskily and uppishly into the offside for two, and then brings up his 50 when mid-off misfields and the opener takes a couple more. It’s been a really fine innings in the circumstances, although Rogers then plays and misses an attempted hook that prompts half an appeal from Broad, but even he doesn’t really fancy it.
27th over: Australia 94-7 (Rogers 46, Starc 0) Johnson is off the mark with a firm punch down the ground for three, which takes him past 2,000 Test runs, a testament to his use as a No8 batsman. Rogers pushes another single, while Anderson gets a warning for running down the middle of the pitch. And then – Jimmy gets his fifth!– as Johnson thick-edges low to Stokes at fifth slip, a tribute to Cook’s field placing as well as the bowler’s enduring skill, coming round the wicket on this occasion.
26th over: Australia 90-6 (Rogers 45, Johnson 0) The past Edgbaston Test being invoked now is, inevitably, the 1997 one, but Rogers is doing his best to defy such talk, going about his business mostly quietly and unfussily and he picks up four more with a delicately-steered toe-ended nudge down to the boundary behind square on the offside. Finn comes back at him with a shorter ball but he fends that away successfully too.
25th over: Australia 86-6 (Rogers 41, Johnson 0) Johnson emerges to a cacophony of cartoonish booing and digs out an attempted yorker, first up. It’s another superb over. “Call me an old fashioned pessimist,” cautions Felix Wood with the sort of gloomy contrarianism that I can only applaud, “but this scene seems set for quick centuries from Johnson and Starc, and England to have to follow on.”
Anderson tests Rogers with two accurate full-length balls, both of which induce inside edges, whereupon a man is – seemingly incongruously – posted out on the hook. Rogers manages a single with a square drive that could easily have been four, had not a diving Ben Stokes hauled it back. England are all over Australia and, to prove it, Anderson bowls Nevill, who is deceived by an inswinger, which he foolishly leaves, and sees the top of off-stump pegged back
24th over: Australia 85-5 (Rogers 40, Nevill 2) This is what people have long wanted Finn to be in the team for - fiery, purposeful, testing fast bowling. He forces Rogers to duck under another short one before a leg-bye adds one to the total. There’s variation of length too, as Nevill has to dig out an attempted yorker, and is then beaten by a jaffa that leaves him a fraction. The final ball of the over is almost as good, though well left this time by the batsman. A terrific over.
Meanwhile Joel Greig possibly wins the 1987 argument by pointing out that “Prince released Sign ‘O’ The Times in 1987 thus it was (and always will be) a high point in modern music. Never before or since has a man looked so good in matching peach heels and jumpsuit.” Don’t think I can dispute a single word of that.
23rd over: Australia 84-5 (Rogers 40, Nevill 2) This is a big test for the new batsman Peter Nevill now, having made hay while the sun – metaphorically and actually – shone at Lord’s. He’s off the mark with a tidy tuck away on the leg side for two but it’s another fine over from Anderson.
Marsh goes early, and Anderson – wicketless over four days at Lord’s – now has three in fewer than three hours. Marsh is induced into a regulation edge behind by an away-seamer and Buttler does the rest.
22nd over: Australia 82-4 (Rogers 40, Marsh 0) This is a proper contest. Finn finds some more lift with a crowd-pleasing bouncer at Rogers. He follows it with an equally rousing outswinger slanted across the left-hander, although it’s called a no-ball. Rogers retorts with a lovely drive through extra-cover for four, however, but he’s asked sterner questions by Finn’s subsequent awkward bouncer, which isn’t easy to duck under, although he manages to. Lovely stuff.
“Paradise City certainly includes the best use of a whistle in rock music, IMHO,” reckons Simon McMahon. “I still join in every time I hear it. 1987 also saw the release of The Proclaimers debut album, and I have it on good authority that the Reid brothers in their early days made Axl Rose and Slash look like a couple of choirboys.” Couldn’t agree more on the Proclaimers’ oft-overlooked debut. And to celebrate its rare recognition on the OBO, here’s this:
21st over: Australia 77-4 (Rogers 36) Anderson resumes from the Pavilion End. Rogers nudges him round the corner for one. And then Jimmy strikes! A nibbling outswinger is, well, nibbled at nervously by Voges and Buttler takes a neat low catch behind the stumps. Today’s rain and slow over rates mean play could go on until 7.23pm precisely tonight, which destroys my chances of catching Corrie tonight.
20th over: Australia 76-3 (Rogers 35, Voges 16) It’s still pretty gloomy and the floodlights are on, as Finn is tossed the ball once more. The restart is slightly delayed by yet more spectator movement behind the bowler’s arm in the corporate seats, which is irritating Shane Warne, and thousands of others no doubt. Finn beats Voges with a delicious away swinger, which just deviates enough to flummox the batsman. A good over is marred slightly by it final delivery, which strays down the legside and is flicked effortlessly down to the fine leg boundary by Voges for four.
The players are trotting back out. “I can’t believe you haven’t been deluged with emails informing you that 1987 is important in pop music primarily because it was the year that Kylie launched her recording career,” disbelieves Marie Meyer. “I guess the Aussies are all under their duvets.”
Some covers are coming off again, albeit not yet those covering the square, but the rain has stopped.
“Never mind 1980s popular music,” John Starbuck becomes the 857th person to have ever told me, “Let’s go back to the 1960s and this Beach Boys hymn to Californian hedonism - Finn, Finn, Finn.”
“1987 was a great year for music,” insists Andrew Pechey. “Appetite For Destruction arrived, the single greatest album ever released. So did Def Leppard’s Hysteria, which is almost as good.”
Up in the commentary box, Warney, Gowery and Pontingy are discussing the current travails of Test cricket in the world in general, which provides me with a handy hook on which to hang another plug for this fine piece from Andy Bull yesterday on the very necessary film Death of a Gentleman.
Various public screenings have been organised, with more being planned all the time, which is a similarly handy hook on which to hang this (admittedly London-centric) tweet:
Uh-oh. The covers are back on. The light rain of earlier has become a little more niggling, not to say nagging. So no play for the moment.
Afternoon everyone. Is there a more aesthetically pleasing sight in all sport – or indeed in life generally - than that of a new ball zipping, seaming and swinging purposefully about the place? Unlikely. And England’s bowlers were frequently a delight to watch this morning, claiming three vital early scalps in the manner that, well, all England’s opponents habitually do themselves at the moment. However, there were signs in the half-hour before lunch of Australia steadying themselves, so for the moment – from an English point of view – I’m the bloke in the corner of the bar grumbling slightly at the state of his perennially half-empty pint glass.
Anyway, there’s much to chew over this afternoon, including the remnants of the morning’s Finnish Finn fans and Mel’n’Kim riffing. And if you want bleeding-edge allusions to 1987 pop music, I’m probably your man. (Actually scratch that, 1987 was a rubbish year for pop music).
I’m handing over to Tom Davies for a little while. I’ll leave you with this from Ravi Raman, who has taken the previous e-mail to its logical conclusion with this video, which asks: what would happen if everybody in the world jumped at the same time?
So, on balance, that rain break was probably A Bad Thing For England. Guardian IT people: please amend my email address immediately. No, it’s fine, I’ll wait.
“Much like the question of what happens if everyone in China jumped at the same time, if all of Finland holds its breath for an over as Finn is bowling, is Sweden hit with periods of low pressure, and they pray for a solid over-rate to minimise the magnitude of the storms?” asks Michael Hunt. Answers on a postcard (preferably from Sweden).
Australia made a dreadful start, finding themselves at 34-3 before a brief rain break allowed them to steady the ship. Their early struggles were thanks to a combination of slick, aggressive England bowling – particularly for comeback kid Steven Finn, who took the wickets of Steve Smith and Michael Clarke – and nervous batting. Chris Rogers has hung in there, and has cobbled together a 38-run partnership with Adam Voges, but it was undoubtedly England’s morning.
19th over: Australia 72-3 (Rogers 35, Voges 12) Voges opens the over by sending a full Broad inswinger back down the ground for four. A short, wide ball moves in sharply and catches the thigh pad, and the next ball prompts a half-hearted LBW appeal that’s promptly turned down. Rogers, finally finding his groove after the rigours of this morning, tucks a full ball through midwicket for four, and that’s lunch.
18th over: Australia 63-3 (Rogers 31, Voges 8) Alastair Cook rearranges the field in preparation for some short stuff from Finn, but Rogers picks out a gap at mid-on, sending poor Jonny Bairstow chasing down the field. It goes for three, and then Rogers fiddles with the pitch in an attempt to drag the over out. Not quite the swashbuckling Australia we saw at Lord’s, is it?
Finn fires in a bouncer that Voges has to duck, then after the strike is rotated, Rogers clubs a short ball into a wide open space on the leg side. There will be time for one more over.
17th over: Australia 55-3 (Rogers 24, Voges 7) The seamers have kept a good to full length when aiming at Voges, keeping him on the back foot. Just two from the over, as a shorter Broad ball is edged past point. One more over – maybe two – before lunch.
16th over: Australia 53-3 (Rogers 24, Voges 5) Rogers is also playing the waiting game, keeping on his toes to defend a straight ball, then pulling away from a tempter outside off, before getting the half-volley he was waiting for, and despatching it through extra cover for four. A patient, persistent and necessary 24 off 49 so far from Rogers.
“With a picture of Arthur Fonzarelli emblazoned on them, Sara Torvalds’ diving accessories would be massive in the bog snorkelling niche. ‘Fens fun in Finns’ Finn fan Fonz fins’” says wordsmith David Stott.
15th over: Australia 49-3 (Rogers 20, Voges 5) Voges bides his time, leaving a slew of off-side deliveries before picking his moment to punch Broad down the pitch for four. Two old heads at the crease now – a combined age of 72, no less – trying to atone for that nervy first hour.
14th over: Australia 45-3 (Rogers 20, Voges 1) Finland holds its breath as Steven Finn returns to the fray, trying to square Voges up, but he defends well, then pushes Finn away for a single to get on the board. Rogers, who has played much further back in the crease than at Lord’s, leans back and guides a full delivery past Stokes at backward point. The ball nicks Stokes’s injured finger on its way through – that will sting.
13th over: Australia 38-3 (Rogers 14, Voges 0) Broad will finish off the over he started half an hour ago, with three slips and a gully behind Rogers, who continues to complain about movement in the stands. Rogers fields the first with a tuck to mid-on, before he again searches for an edge outside off. Rogers just about gets his bat out of the way. No runs from the four balls.
Felix Wood is putting me on the spot:
“I think the big thing everyone wants to know is whether this break is A Good Thing For England or A Bad Thing For England. Will they have enjoyed their little break, and have a chance to have a go at batsmen who have to get in again, or will Boof have sorted their heads out? What is your opinion? Your ability to correctly answer this will probably determine whether you ever lose the casual from your email address.”
“Sara Torvold’s organization could offer merchandise” suggests Marie Meyer. For example, diving gear. Yes, that’s right... the official Finns for Finn fins. And their promotional video could wrap up with ‘Finns for Finn fins. Fin.’
Finns for Finn Fins: Fine Fins For Finnish Finn Fans. It just rolls off the tongue.
Better news from Birmingham. Tony Pimlott reports “it’s clearing up already with a hint of blue sky”. Lovely stuff. We’ll restart at 12.35.
Here’s Jack Duncton on the man of the hour:
Bad news from Birmingham:
@niallmcveigh raining quite heavily in centre of Brum right now, with a northerly wind ..... :(
13th over: Australia 38-3 (Rogers 14, Voges 0) Rogers leans in and lashes at a Broad ball that darts away, with the thick edge that flies just over Stokes at backward point. Stokes was about four feet in the air; that would have been ridiculous. Oh no, what’s this? Rain has stopped play! “Well, it’s August in England” says David Gower. Erm... no it isn’t.
Anyway, the covers are on, and the players are off after a raucous first hour. Any lily-livered England fans who wished for rain this morning – that’s what you get.
12th over: Australia 34-3 (Rogers 10, Voges 0) Here comes Adam Voges, with Finn firing outside off and Voges leaving everything well alone. Finn has figures of 2-6. The only bad news for England: slate-grey clouds are building over Edgbaston.
By the way, I’m aware Steven Finn wasn’t actually told he was never gonna be selectable. I was making a Mel & Kim reference. Probably a bit contemporary.
Don’t call it a comeback, but Finn has a second wicket, and it’s a crucial one as Clarke goes! It’s a brilliant yorker that sneaks underneath the Australia captain’s bat. The first hour has not exactly gone as planned for Australia.
11th over: Australia 33-2 (Rogers 9, Clarke 10) The scoreboard gets moving again as an angled Anderson ball flicks off Clarke’s pad and beyond Buttler for four. Clarke’s at it again later in the over, throwing a dummy to send Buttler diving to his left as the ball sails to his right. Not the finest over for the wicketkeeper, and there’s more fielding issues as Clarke edges through a chasm in the slips. Australia almost double their score in one over.
10th over: Australia 19-2 (Rogers 9, Clarke 1) After a wicket in his comeback over, Finn can now have a pop at Clarke, sticking to his tried and tested back of a length deliveries. Just the one run from the over, with the captain pushing one into the covers.
“Good first 8 overs for England. Australia probably about 239 runs short of where they’d want to be at this stage” honks Andrew Buddery. Australia’s slow start is certainly making things easier for our app boffins, and for that we’re thankful.
This just isn’t cricket:
9th over: Australia 18-2 (Rogers 9, Clarke 0) Rogers is again fussing about movement behind the arm. Those delays mean we’ve had nine overs, and just eighteen runs, in the first 45 minutes. Crucially for England, there’s also been two wickets. A maiden for Anderson, who continues to hum with menace, flashing two deliveries in quick succession past Rogers’s outside edge.
As ever at the Guardian OBO, we remain as impartial as Pontius Partridge. Australians – how are we feeling? Stop pretending to be asleep...
8th over: Australia 18-2 (Rogers 9, Clarke 0) This is looking a little sticky for Australia all of a sudden, and Michael Clarke, Australia’s only survivor from 2005, needs to settle things down. Steve Smith is, we’re told, the world’s No1 batsman. It’s fair to say he didn’t look like it in that skittish cameo.
Eighteen months after being told he wasn’t ever gonna be selectable, Steven Finn is back. Steve Smith hasn’t settled yet, but a timid half-volley is punched through four – but the very next ball, Finn finds the perfect line and gets an edge that carries to Cook at first slip!
7th over: Australia 14-1 (Smith 3, Rogers 9) Not much short stuff in Rogers’s direction so far, on a quicker pitch than at Lord’s. Anderson does fire in a snorting short ball, then a fuller delivery that finds Rogers’s outside edge, but the batsman’s awkward swipe drops wide of gully. England continue to ask the right questions.
6th over: Australia 13-1 (Smith 2, Rogers 9) Another maiden, this time for Broad, who hasn’t found the movement that Anderson has but keeps Rogers quiet, save for a push to backward point which the spry Ben Stokes dives brilliantly to field.
“England could really do with making the most of these conditions. Not wanting to be Eeyorish, but the ball is doing more laterally than it has all series, pitch seems relatively friendly to England’s bowlers at present, but little pace or bounce. When the ball becomes softer, seam less pronounced, and the pitch dries out, England’s seamers will be about as threatening as they were at Lord’s” offers optimism’s Christopher Dale.
5th over: Australia 13-1 (Smith 2, Rogers 9) A maiden from Anderson, targeting Smith’s off stump as the batsman dances all over his crease. Australia looking pretty uncomfortable so far.
“As an ex-pat living in Queensland I could do with a little clarification” asks Phil Withall. “Do I go to bed embracing the warm and fuzzy feeling of the ‘New England’ (sorry Billy Bragg) or do I spend a restless night imagining another hellish day at work tomorrow as every single one of the 300 people I deal with each day continue to take an over zealous interest in the cricket. I really wish England would sort themselves out one way or another. I need the sleep.”
4th over: Australia 13-1 (Smith 2, Rogers 9) After all that excitement, there’s a five-minute break as Smith is also unhappy with movement behind the arm. Ground staff busy themselves closing windows and tying down tarps; would have helped to have done that earlier. Broad goes full to Smith, then short to Rogers, which works pretty well until the final ball, which Rogers attacks and sends wide of long leg for four.
@niallmcveigh Let's hope Captain Clarke doesn't get a stinker that he can't review later in the innings... #TheNewShaneWatson
Given the way Anderson has got the ball to move already, there’s a chance we’ll be seeing Clarke’s decision to bat replayed in ten years, as is the case with poor old Punter.
3rd over: Australia 8-1 (Smith 1, Rogers 5) Jimmy Anderson has come out swinging – and there’s another big appeal as an outswinger strikes Smith on the pad – but the new batsman was outside the line of off-stump. Rogers is next in Anderson’s sights, as a short ball jags past his outside edge. “A good start for England”, understates Ian Botham.
Well, well. Anderson sends in a short seam ball that looks to have pinned Warner lbw, and he’s given out! After a long discussion, Warner decides to review, but it’s in vain. An early breakthrough from England
2nd over: Australia 7-0 (Warner 2, Rogers 5) Broad bowling to Rogers, who holds things up to admonish a chap in a t-shirt marked Here to Help, who is only hindering the Australian by walking across his line of sight. Having regained his composure, Rogers drives a half-volley through midwicket for four.
A toadstool of hopeful excitement, quivering under the booted foot of abject terror. @niallmcveigh#Ashes2015
1st over: Australia 3-0 (Warner 2, Rogers 1) Anderson finds movement on the first ball, and from the second, Rogers prods to mid-on. Stuart Broad collects smartly, and skittles the stumps with Warner diving for the crease! It’s a review, and England look confident – but replays show Warner got back in time. The single run collected takes Rogers to 44 tests without a duck. Warner flicks a full, moving delivery wide of gully, which Stokes retrieves a foot from the boundary. A lively first over.
It’s Jimmy Anderson who has the ball in hand, and all things are possible.
Five minutes! Who’s excited/terrified?
“What’s the weather like? Does any enquiry about the weather forecast at this stage of the match indicate a defeatist mindset?” asks Naren Radhakrishnan.
It’s cool and cloudy in Birmingham right now, with spells of sunshine, and perhaps the odd shower to come. I’m sad to report that there are a few umbrellas going up around Edgbaston, but we’re still on for an 11am start. The forecast over the five days is pretty promising, unless, like Naren, you’re hoping for a face-saving washout.
Your thoughts
“I’m not sure we can trust Ricky Ponting on the Edgbaston pitch given what happened in ‘05. On this basis alone I’d have a bat!” chuckles James Crowder. Well, Michael Clarke was clearly paying attention, and completely ignored Punter’s advice.
A quick charity plug: our very own James Dart is getting on his bike to raise some cash for the Youth Sport Trust. Do lend him your support.
@NiallMcVeigh the designer for the ad for your app was pretty confident, eh? I'd take 257-2 after 8.2 overs.
Michael Clarke’s side is unchanged, with Chris Rogers fit to start and Peter Nevill staying behind the stumps ahead of Brad Haddin. Alastair Cook sheepishly admits he’d have batted first, and confirms what we all suspected: Bairstow is in for Ballance, and Steven Finn replaces Mark Wood, who hasn’t recovered from his ankle problem.
I like this, from Gary Naylor, about the mysteries of pitch reading. The unpredictable wicket here today has everyone confused, to the extent that Shane Warne would bat, Ricky Ponting would bowl. I’d bowl first – I think.
The coin toss is around 15 minutes away. Whether you’re brimming with confidence or racked with fear, you can keep up to date with the Guardian app, now featuring a fancy new interface. There’s really no excuse to do any work today.
Eighteen days ago – really, that’s all it’s been – Cardiff buzzed with delight and disbelief as England took the first Test at a canter. Australia turned down their offer of a post-match pint, in favour of a spot of sober reflection. Their response at Lord’s was clinical and comprehensive, and the hangover lingers for England.
England have acted in response to their second Test embarrassment, dropping Gary Ballance for Jonny Bairstow, and potentially shuffling the pace attack by recalling Steven Finn ahead of Mark Wood, whose enthusiasm was blunted at Lord’s. With Bairstow slotting in alongside Joe Root and Ben Stokes, England will send out a swaggering middle order, but one that must convince and not collapse.
Moeen Ali’s 59 gave England a significant first-innings edge after a shaky start, before Steven Finn took five wickets as Australia collapsed, finishing on 168-7 to narrowly avoid losing inside two days as England took control of the third Test
We’ll see a third day, but not a particularly long one, as England have taken control of the third Test. The two late sessions proved as pivotal as they seemed at lunch, when England had an 85-run lead, and Australia had several days of batting ahead of them.
By tea, Moeen and Broad had boosted England’s lead to a healthy 145 and Australia had lost Chris Rogers and Steve Smith cheaply. The pendulum was swinging, and Steven Finn gave it the decisive push, taking two wickets in two balls, including captain Michael Clarke, then completing a five-wicket haul with the scalp of Mitchell Marsh.
55th over: Australia 168-7 (Nevill 37, Starc 7) Joe Root will see us out, and there’s drama as a full delivery clips Starc’s boot before his bat, but Gaffaney says no! It may have been drifting wide, but England are all out of reviews. That’s stumps.
54th over: Australia 166-7 (Nevill 36, Starc 6) Just a couple of overs left today, and Broad wants to make the most of the first one, still firing hard at Mitchell Starc and almost clipping the off stump with an angled delivery that Starc plays at and misses. Curiously, Starc takes a single from the final ball to keep himself in the firing line.
53rd over: Australia 165-7 (Nevill 36, Starc 5) Nevill, the only batsman to face a century of balls in this Test match so far, picks up a single while Starc punches a length ball from Finn down the ground beyond the diving Moeen. Australia have held it together and are almost at stumps, but I doubt that’ll make them feel much better.
“I was going to write in to say if the Aussies took the stark decision to drop Starc, that would allow Cummins to come in, but then I thought nah, not worth it” says John Starbuck.
52nd over: Australia 160-7 (Nevill 35, Starc 1) Broad, closing in on 300 Test wickets, bowls out another maiden to Nevill. Perhaps only ten minutes left, so unless England can dislodge one of these two pronto, we will have a third day. Good news for The Archers fans.
51st over: Australia 160-7 (Nevill 35, Starc 1) A single for Nevill that’s tucked to midwicket, but that allows Finn to have a bash at Mitchell Starc. Shane Warne has just suggested dropping Starc – surely not? Just one run from the over.
50th over: Australia 159-7 (Nevill 34, Starc 1) A run! Starc gets off the mark with a drive to cover point. Australia then go run crazy, with Neveill tucking the ball beyond Buttler for four, then adding a single with a stroke into the covers.
49th over: Australia 153-7 (Nevill 29, Starc 0) Nevill has looked unflappable, seeing out a third maiden in a row, but England will have Starc back on strike now. There’s still plenty of time for England to finish this off today.
48th over: Australia 153-7 (Nevill 29, Starc 0) A second maiden for Moeen, with Starc happy to stand his ground. He was hardly going to start flaying into the stands, was he? The crowd volume has switched from subdued beer garden to distant football ground.
47th over: Australia 153-7 (Nevill 29, Starc 0) Nevill continues his Boycottian knock, defending against the mighty Finn as he approaches a century of balls faced. Still, that’s a wicket maiden.
John Starbuck has some fine ideas about a replacement for Anderson, for Trent Bridge at least: “Harry Gurney and see how he goes. Otherwise, Liam Plunkett if fit. Rashid looks to miss out again.”
Never in doubt. That’s a five-fer for Finn! A short angled ball has Johnson confused, and it’s another high top edge that Stokes can take with both hands. Now, can England finish the job before stumps?
46th over: Australia 153-6 (Nevill 29, Johnson 14) Moeen works away at Nevill, but the intensity has dropped to such a degree that Bumble spends most of the over carousing an Australian fan in a straw hat who’s listening in via an earpiece. The modern world. So England need reinvigorating... it’s time for Steven Finn.
45th over: Australia 150-6 (Nevill 27, Johnson 13) 45 overs in, and the ball isn’t moving around too much, although Broad does find an outswinger, but it zips a long way wide of Nevill. A maiden, played out to what sounds like a beer garden in the background.
“Any thoughts on who will replace Jimmy if his injury keeps him out of the next test?” asks John Piper, one of many England fans nervous at the prospect of a Jimmyless series. The obvious choice would be Mark Wood, who has been rested for this Test, but was unlucky to be replaced by Steven Finn, who has now gone from unselectable to, well, undroppable. It’s not exactly easy to replace James Anderson, though.
44th over: Australia 150-6 (Nevill 27, Johnson 13) These two are growing gradually in confidence, with Nevill bagging five runs from a Moeen over, driving nicely through the covers for a couple of doubles. England are officially saying Anderson has a tight side, and will be assessed further. If he has a muscle tear, Beefy doesn’t fancy his chances of featuring again in this series.
“I’m as excited as anyone but lets mercilessly crush the Aussies first and then plan the rest of our weekend” says sensible Steve Birtwistle.
43rd over: Australia 145-6 (Nevill 22, Johnson 13) Three runs for Nevill, and Australia move to dead level with England. That seems to wake Broad up, and he fires in a feisty outswinger that Nevill swings at, and misses.
“I like the idea that when Tests finish early the OBO team would switch its attention to nattering about the Archers. Why not widen the scope?” suggests Peter Salmon. “The Radio 4 schedule is a full one tomorrow. Book of the Week looks pretty good: a young woman forges her own path, Chick dwindles before his family’s eyes.’ And on The Listening Project: a townie married a farmer, not realizing a herd of Jersey cows would be part of the deal. Perfect grist for the OBO mill.”
42nd over: Australia 142-6 (Nevill 19, Johnson 13) Sixteen overs left to play today, with an extra half hour for England to call upon if they want it, or need it. Big appeal for caught behind, as Ali sends one sneaking past Nevill’s outside edge, but there was no contact. Nevill adds three with a whip to midwicket that Stokes fumbles clumsily. A teak-tough partnership of 31 from 82, here.
41st over: Australia 138-6 (Nevill 16, Johnson 12) Credit Peter Nevill for keeping his head, while all before him lost theirs. Stuart Broad returns, hoping to offer more of a threat than Stokes and Moeen, but after Johnson helps along an angled drive for a single, Nevill defends through the remainder of a menacing Broad over. Nevill has faved 69 balls, seven more than David Warner. who was out for 77. That’s drinks.
40th over: Australia 137-6 (Nevill 16, Johnson 11) Moeen hasn’t been able to trouble the Australian bowlers too much in this spell, and this over gleans just one run, with Johnson driving a low full toss to mid-off. Australia now trail by eight runs.
“What does Tim Adamson have to say about the potential Archers showdown at the Test?” asks Stuart Raybould. As soon as I hear, you’ll hear.
39th over: Australia 136-6 (Nevill 16, Johnson 10) A maiden for Stokes, forcing Nevill to poke and miss at a seamed ball that’s close to off stump. The Australian wicketkeeper remains relatively untroubled, though. Apparently Anderson has a suspected intercostal tear in his side, which doesn’t sound like great news.
A38th over: Australia 136-6 (Nevill 16, Johnson 10) Moeen bowls to fellow top-notch tail-ender Mitchell Johnson, and gets sent packing for four, Johnson sashaying down the track and smashing it over the umpire’s head. Maybe we will get a third day after all...
37th over: Australia 131-6 (Nevill 15, Johnson 6) Stokes, still relatively fresh, does continue. Johnson picks up three runs with a push through the covers, and Stokes wildly overthrows to Buttler, almost conceding seven off one ball. Let’s not get too sloppy here.
“You’ve maintained your cool credentials by apparently not following the minutiae of life in Ambridge, but it’s Charlie who has invited Adam to try to get in his pants, but Adam has contrived to bring along Ian, his life partner, to perhaps protect his honour, so we’re all on pins to see whether there’ll be a showdown” corrects Lizz Poulter.
36th over: Australia 127-6 (Nevill 14, Johnson 3) A slip, short leg and short cover in place, but Ali can’t find a breakthrough, turning his first ball down the leg side for two byes. Australia milk another couple of runs from the over as they creep glacially towards the England total. They now trail by 18 runs.
35th over: Australia 123-6 (Nevill 13, Johnson 2) Stokes runs through the last over of his short spell, conceding just a single and a leg bye. Some of the sting has gone out of this, to be honest – and with Johnson keen to attack and capable of scoring quickly, England are happy to stifle even a hint of momentum.
34th over: Australia 121-6 (Nevill 12, Johnson 2) A maiden for Moeen, with Nevill staying firmly on the back foot. 12 runs in 45 balls for him.
Now, I know that this potential two-day victory is a nightmare for ticket-holders and TV-watchers alike, but Lizz Poulter informs me that in The Archers, love rivals Adam and Ian were due to attend the Test tomorrow, hiring an executive box for “a long awaited showdown between husband and suitor”.
33rd over: Australia 121-6 (Nevill 12, Johnson 2) Anderson lasts three balls, but he’s feeling his side after another swinging delivery. He’s had to go off, and Joe Root will finish off the over. Wise for Anderson to go off immediately if that’s a side strain; that could turn out to be a pretty big negative on what’s been an excellent couple of days for England.
32nd over: Australia 121-6 (Nevill 12, Johnson 2) Only one review out of 22 has led to a decision being overturned so far in this series, and that doesn’t change as Stokes practically bullies Cook into reviewing an inswinger that strikes Nevill on the pad. The impact is outside, but the ball is swinging for Stokes, and Nevill can do no more than stand his ground, until a flick through midwicket adds a couple of runs.
31st over: Australia 118-6 (Nevill 10, Johnson 1) A maiden for Anderson, as Australia inch towards both the 37-over mark of the first innings. They’re no closer to England’s total though, and still trail by 27 runs.
“When this game ends, will it fade to a black screen than just reads ‘Finn’?” asks Joseph Surtees
30th over: Australia 118-6 (Nevill 10, Johnson 1) Stokes to Johnson, who gets off the mark with a defensive shot that runs behind point. Nevill, finding a bit of rhythm far too late, moves forward to drive for four.
“About the best thing Lyth has done all series isn’t it?” says Adam Andrews of the opener’s two catches. That’s not very nice, is it?
29th over: Australia 112-6 (Nevill 5, Johnson 0) Australia are down to the tail now, but they can’t do much worse than the middle order. Mitchell Johnson is next up; how much has changed since those two bouncers that did for Root and Stokes, just six hours ago?
“Who is Tim Adamson? I keep seeing his name being mentioned here with reverent awe” asks Alex Adams. What do you mean, who is Tim Adamson?! See the 16th over. We owe it all to him.
Shane Warne has spent the last ten minutes telling anyone who’ll listen that it’s all down to David Warner. Right on cue, the batsman’s excellent innings is over, as Anderson strikes! A shortish delivery leads to a regulation flick through the leg side, but he gets a leading edge, and Lyth has all day to get underneath it.
28th over: Australia 107-5 (Warner 77, Nevill 5) Suitably refreshed, Stokes comes steaming in, and after Warner adds a single, Nevill steps forward and gets an edge, but it falls short of the slips. Anderson, who has been off the field for a few moments, will now come back into the attack. No wickets in this innings yet, but he still has 37 overs to find some.
“Hi Niall, as someone who has tickets for tomorrow, I am despairing at the current state of play.” moans Luke Stevenson. “Obviously, it’s great for England, however my dad just texted me asking if I fancy a day at the Black Country museum instead.”
27th over: Australia 106-5 (Warner 76, Nevill 5) Finn, who may have more over in him in this spell, starts with a leg bye. Nevill, then straight bats his way to 1 off 20 balls, before finally sensing a rare opportunity to strike, flicking a straight ball through square leg for four. And that’s drinks.
26th over: Australia 101-5 (Warner 76, Nevill 1) Stokes continues, and Warner gets a sliver of bat on a full, wide ball which flies away for four. Warner maintains his 75% ratio of Australian runs, and is course for what may be the least celebrated century of all time.
“No offence to Nevill” says Alistair Halton, “but as an Englishman I’m very happy that Brad Haddin isn’t out there to back up Warner right now.” Who do you think you are, Alistair? Tim Adamson?
Plenty of you asking whether England have ever beaten Australia inside two days. Firstly, stop it; secondly, I’ll hand over to Oliver Smiddy:
“From what I can see, the last time we beat the Aussies in two days was in 1888, when a side led by one W.G. Grace hammered them not once, but twice (first at the Oval, and then again at Old Trafford) before the close of the second day. Granted, Tests were only three day affairs then, but still. I daresay this one might just stretch to a third day.”
25th over: Australia 96-5 (Warner 71, Nevill 1) Finn has been absolutely electric, particularly since tea, firing down a series of unplayable jaffas without breaking sweat. Nevill is rocking, and there’s a big appeal for caught behind – but Aleem Dar says no, and he’s right to – it hit the batsman’s back leg.
“What is it about Edgbaston and ankles?” asks
Jerry Seinfeld Tom Adam. That’s two tests now which Australia have lost at least in part because a fast bowler suffered an ankle injury. I propose that this is recognised as a new medical condition, Brummius ankleitis Australiensis.”
24th over: Australia 95-5 (Warner 70, Nevill 1) Warner, who must be wondering what exactly is going on at the other end, tucks a single to fine leg, before Nevill gets off the mark with a flick to long leg. Stokes is letting fly in an agricultural style, sensing that it may not need much more than enthusiasm to keep Australia on the rack.
23rd over: Australia 92-5 (Warner 68, Nevill 0) Australia are now battling to take this match into a third day. Is this really happening? Finn, who has done the necessary with minimal fuss throughout, keeps on ploughing the right length, and new man Peter Nevill almost edges to fourth slip! And now Ben Stokes is going to have a bowl.
He doesn’t. The young batsman has looked no more assured than the old heads above him,. and he is clean bowled, playing all around a full Finn delivery. That’s four for Finn, and all within a hour of play. You can thank poorMark Wood’s dodgy ankle, and of course Tim Adamson, for this.
22nd over: Australia 92-4 (Warner 68, Marsh 6) Broad is bowling much straighter now, making the batsmen play, which in this match so far has been enough. Marsh defends gamely, then gloves a bouncer into open space and carves out a very scrappy single. Marsh has to hang on here, somehow...
21st over: Australia 91-4 (Warner 68, Marsh 5) Steven Finn, Destroyer of Worlds, looks to have caught Marsh lbw, but Aleem Dar says no! Cook is unsure, but opts to review– it’s pitching in line, and clipping the bails, but it’s umpire’s call, and Marsh survives. Lucky boy. He celebrates with a tucked single, the fourth of the over.
20th over: Australia 87-4 (Warner 66, Marsh 3) Broad sends down a succession of deliveries that fly wide of off stump, in a rather tame maiden. Despite that, Warner repeatedly heads down the track to school his young colleague, and with good cause – there’s pressure on those shoulders, with Australia still 56 runs behind.
19th over: Australia 86-4 (Warner 65, Marsh 3) Warner, who has taken on Rogers’ mantle of Only Cool Head from the first innings, picks up a four with another smart cover drive that has the field chasing in vain. Warner has scored more than three quarters of Australia’s runs so far.
“As an Australian I will take this as our off test in the pattern off – on – off. Based on that I just hope we don’t go this way in the fifth” says Michael Gaff. “I am off to a mate’s wedding tomorrow and by the way it is going this will be over by the time he says I do, which is before midday!” Every cloud.
18th over: Australia 79-4 (Warner 58, Marsh 3) With Australia dazed and confused, Broad pushes ferociously at Marsh – but he holds his ground, leaving a full ball that jags low off the surface, then picking up two with a pull through midwicket. Could have been three, but the punch-drunk Australians don’t get out of the traps.
“Does someone want to get Tim Adamson a drink?” hints David Hopkins. From the state of my inbox, I reckon Tim can have his own Cask & Bottle ale challenge (see over 7).
17th over: Australia 77-4 (Warner 58, Marsh 1) Finn fires down the hat-trick ball to Mitchell Marsh, but it’s a little too wide and Marsh can watch it go. “Get it on target” tuts Michael Holding, which is a bit harsh. Marsh does get off the mark with a push into the off side, but that won’t change much. That was a devastating over from Finn.
“Tim Adamson – you’re a genius!” hollers Ross Bennett.
I’m not even kidding. Steven Finn has roared back into the England reckoning, and now he’s on a hat-trick. It’s a meek waft of a shot, edged straight to Bell at second slip.
Catch! Finn gets a go from the Pavilion End, and Clarke gets an outside edge that drops low in front of the slips – but Lyth, who has had so little joy with the bat, makes a key intervention, diving low to his left and hauling it in. The captain has gone!
16th over: Australia 75-2 (Warner 57, Clarke 3) Broad from the Birmingham end, and Australia pick up just a couple of singles, with a full ball catching Clarke high on the pads, leading to an lbw appeal we’ll file under ‘hopeful’.
“How encouraging it is that Australia have Adam Voges - and not Mike Hussey - coming in at 5. Hussey was imperious in these situations” says Tim Adamson of imminent double centurion Adam Voges. That name again, Tim Adamson.
Here we go again, with 42 overs remaining today. By the end of it, maybe we’ll have some clue who might win this Test match. It’s been another good day for #FinnsForFinn...
Things were very much in the balance at lunch, and it wasn’t inconceivable that Australia could have wiped out that 85-run lead by now. As it turned out, Moeen and Broad dug in, giving England a healthy advantage, and claimed the key wickets of Rogers and Smith, each for single figures.
David Warner has piled up the runs, and the pitch isn’t offering the bowlers as much assistance as yesterday, but that was England’s session. The next could be absolutely crucial. Is it really only day two?
15th over: Australia 73-2 (Warner 56, Clarke 2) With an unconvincing middle order waiting nervously in the pavilion, there’s only a David Warner shaped obstacle stopping this looking pretty, pretty good for England. He hangs on until tea, nicking a single off Finn to deep square leg, before adding a ninth boundary to close the over. Tea time.
14th over: Australia 67-2 (Warner 51, Clarke 1) Broad can’t quite find his line, and Clarke can take his time, getting off the mark with a single that sneaks past the outstretched Broad. Warner on strike now, and he plays a lovely stroke through the covers for three. That’s his half century, and after a shaky start, it’s been very nicely, and speedily done.
13th over: Australia 63-2 (Warner 48, Clarke 0) All in all, Smith showed composure and shot selection that would shame a tail-ender. He started walking as soon as the ball flew up off his bat, and Michael Clarke replaces him. Warner has also missed the chance to notch the fastest-ever Ashes fifty by an Australian. It never rains but it pours. Five minutes until tea, and right on cue, back comes Stuart Broad.
Finn changes ends after a rough first over – and it pays off! Smith sets himself to pull a short ball, but he gets it horribly wrong, and it flies high in the air. Buttler shoos away the slips, the ball hangs in the sky for an age, but the wicketkeeper gloves it. Big wicket.
12th over: Australia 61-1 (Warner 47, Smith 8) Moeen does come in, and Warner guides his first ball off the pad and away through the leg side for four. A short ball outside off sits up, and Warner pummels it to the boundary. Warner closes on a half-century, off just 33 balls so far.
“As I’m currently just doing a dissertation I can allow myself time off in the day to watch the cricket. A problem arrives though if you say “over the 5 days I’ll watch X amount” and then in day two it becomes unlikely it’ll last the distance. Do I risk letting myself make up for the probable lack of breaks on Sunday by watching more now?! It’s a predicament!” asks Ben Shephard, who should be filming Tipping Point now anyway. Just watch the cricket, Ben. You know it makes sense.
11th over: Australia 50-1 (Warner 36, Smith 8) It may be Moeen time soon – he’s taken the dangerous Warner’s wicket three times already in this series – but Anderson is more than capable of dislodging one of these two, and continues for the time being. Another shuffling, defensive over from Smith as Anderson keeps him guessing. Smith does play and miss at the final ball which darts left at the vital moment. Jimmy has a long, hard look down the wicket. Another maiden.
10th over: Australia 50-1 (Warner 36, Smith 8) Steven Finn, who took care of Smith and Michael Clarke yesterday, is handed the ball, but Warner pinches three runs with a straight drive that squeaks past mid-off. Smith adds three more with a clip to midwicket, before Warner, who is finding his groove, hangs back and punches through the covers for four. Warner then pulls over square leg for four more. An expensive start from Finn.
9th over: Australia 36-1 (Warner 25, Smith 5) A calm has descended over Edgbaston, punctuated only by Australian fans kangaroo-hopping along the stand, and ear-splitting exhortations to bet on the outcome. After facing 18 balls and notching up one run, Smith strikes down the pitch to the boundary as Anderson goes a touch too full.
If there’s no cricket at the weekend, how about... some cricket? “Down the road Worcester are hosting a One Day Cup game on the Sunday. Although being Worcester it is probably under water already thus doubling down on their cricket frustration” warns Bob Miller.
8th over: Australia 31-1 (Warner 24, Smith 1) Smith, much more reserved than his partner Warner, leaves anything he can from Broad, and as a result, it’s a maiden. Australia don’t have to rush here, though – it’s only the afternoon of day two, after all. Maybe Jonathan Wood should hold off on booking the boozy theatrical weekend for now.
7th over: Australia 31-1 (Warner 24, Smith 1) Warner has got away with a fair few thick edges in his innings, and with the ball swinging hither and yon, he squirts a shot to the rope at fine leg. Anderson is probing with intent, searching for a wicket that would put the advantage firmly back with England.
“I suggest getting down the Cask & Bottle in Leamington Spa” offers Tom Banks. “The challenge is eight pints of different ale in 2 hours and you get a free T-shirt to say you have completed the challenge which says: ‘Take me drunk I’m home’.” Eight pints in two hours? I’m not sure that’s worth a T-shirt.
6th over: Australia 27-1 (Warner 20, Smith 1) Broad comes around the wicket again, with four slips in place – but Warner’s thick edge scoots past all of them, with Lyth at fourth slip cartwheeling in vain to reach it. It runs away for four, and another edge yields two more, before the batsman tries to blast a short ball over the covers. He doesn’t catch it right, but it bobbles away for three.
Re: fun to be had in the West Midlands. Mark Turner suggests “Stratford Upon Avon is just down the road and word is that the Othello they have on is toppytops.” I was going to suggest Cadbury World.
5th over: Australia 18-1 (Warner 10, Smith 1) Another maiden for Anderson, still finding plenty of swing as Smith gets himself settled in.
What’s a good score to chase on this?” wonders Daniel Clayton. “I fear for anything above 150 which means Australia will do well to post 300 and let the pitch and Lyon work hard. This afternoon and evening session will define the series.”
4th over: Australia 18-1 (Warner 10, Smith 1) Smith, imperious at Lord’s, not so much yesterday, is at the crease, shuffling about in that curious style of his. He gets off the mark with a hurried single to end the over, but England have the early breakthrough they wanted.
“With both teams having completed their first innings inside five sessions, is it too early to start making contingency plans for those of us who banked on a five day classic and bought day four and five tickets? We have train tickets and a hotel room, but it looks as if there’s a strong possibility we might not have any actual cricket. Do you have any suggestions?” asks Jonathan Woods. Help him out.
Broad comes round the wicket, and with Edgbaston expectant, he strikes – catching Rogers on his back pad. Rogers ponders a review, then asks Warner what he thinks, then ponders some more, and then calls for the review – but he’s taken too long, and is sent packing anyway! Good job in the end – DRS backs up Gaffaney’s decision.
3rd over: Australia 16-0 (Warner 10, Rogers 6) Rogers makes his way into the history books with a slightly wild drive over backward point. That’s 45 straight Tests without a duck, the most in history. Impressive. Rogers has the field scampering back with a push wide of extra cover for two. Anderson’s last ball shapes away and draws gasps from the slips. I doubt either side will be too concerned with the state of things in this first three overs.
2nd over: Australia 10-0 (Warner 10, Rogers 0) Broad comes in for the Birmingham end, and Warner gets the second innings moving with an awkward edge that drops between the slips and bounces away for four. A more composed boundary follows, with Warner clipping a half-volley away to midwicket. Broad offers the umpire a throaty appeal as he catches Warner’s pad, but that was well outside leg stump.
1st over: Australia 0-0 (Warner 0, Rogers 0) It’s Jimmy Anderson’s birthday, but Alastair Cook is a cruel master, and has sent him in to work straight away. Plenty of bounce and carry, and Anderson gets the ball to swing, but Rogers reads it well, leaving one well alone and pushing the next safely away. The next cuts back in and has Rogers in a tangle – and he closes with a wide ball that Rogers lashes at and misses. Terrific start from Anderson – a maiden that offered menace in several varieties.
“Broad’s scored 46, 23, 18, 4, 21, 25, 31 in his last 7 knocks - all against good pace attacks” says Tom Bowtell. “Were rumours of the death of his batsmanship exaggerated?”
“Broad was a walking wicket two or three months ago and his apprehension as a batsman was clear. Fair play to him for this” adds David Kelsey.
And that’s that – Anderson edges to Nevill, and England will have a healthy 145-run lead to defend when the second innings gets started. Which will be soon. Don’t go anywhere.
67th over: England 281-9 (Finn 0, Anderson 0) Anderson makes his way to the crease, and purloins three runs from Hazlewood with a square drive. This will be a matter of time, you feel, but they’ve built a useful lead so far this afternoon.
It works a treat, with Moeen top-edging to Warner to end a fantastic innings, particularly after lunch. Edgbaston give the batsman a deserved ovation. Credit to Hazlewood too, for finding two wickets after an inauspicious start.
66th over: England 272-8 (Moeen 58, Finn 0) Ali takes a single into the covers, leaving poor Finn to deal with Nathan Lyon for the rest of the over, but he sees it out in relative comfort. David Warner jogs on back to third man as Australia look to catch Moeen out...
65th over: England 272-8 (Moeen 58, Finn 0) There are 15 overs until the new ball. Steven Finn, hero of yesterday morning, is at the crease.
“Wearing a hat while umpiring the cricket would have negated the unaccountable aura generated by Collina (the Howard Webb of calcio) in non-Italian minds,” reckons Lou Roper. I think Collina would actually look more terrifying if he were staring down defenders in a wide-brimmed hat...
Broad gets in on the boundary act, driving through the covers and beating a despairing lunge at the ropes on the off-side. It’s an 87 partnership ... or should I say, was. The final ball of the over isn’t anything special, but Broad gets under it, and it loops to Marsh at mid-on. Hazlewood’s foot was a millimetre behind the line, and the wicket stands.
64th over: England 272-7 (Moeen 57, Broad 27) Moeen, who has hardly been shy so far, can really cut loose now, and he opens the over by sending Lyon packing over mid-off for another four. Moeen adds a couple more, getting down early to sweep towards fine leg. He’s got this field licked. 51 runs in eight overs for England since lunch, and they now lead by 136. What were you all worried about?
63rd over: England 265-7 (Moeen 50, Broad 27) Hazlewood, who has leaked over five runs an over for a single wicket so far, has ball in hand as Australia try and break up this partnership. No joy, as Moeen pushes and leaves before a cut to deep point gives him the run he needs for a half-century. Fortunate at times, but a gutsy and hugely important 50 for the No8.
62nd over: England 262-7 (Moeen 49, Broad 25) The crowd are oafishly goading Johnson as he returns to the outfield, rather like kids flicking Vs at the school bully from the safety of the bus home. After that explosive over, Broad and Ali milk four singles from Nathan Lyon.
I set them up, Ross Bennett knocks them in: “Hmm, so on that basis you’d review Billy Bowden even when clean bowled…”
61st over: England 258-7 (Moeen 47, Broad 23) Johnson tumbles over in his follow-through, and turns his ankle, but he looks okay. Either side of that, Moeen has his eye in and pelts a full ball past mid-on for four... then pulls a short ball wide of long leg. And there’s another – Moeen cuts loose, lofting another full delivery high over mid-off!
60th over: England 246-7 (Moeen 35, Broad 23) A maiden from Lyon, almost catching Broad’s top edge as he plays on the back foot, which encourages the batsman to move forward, while staying very much on the defensive.
John Starbuck has given me pause: “One more issue about the Buttler non-review - the umpire was Aleem Dar and, as he’s one of the best there’s ever been (certainly in the DRS period), the likelihood of overturning his decision probably seemed pretty remote to the batsmen. He got it wrong, but how often does that happen to him?”
59th over: England 246-7 (Moeen 35, Broad 23) Moeen hovers on the back foot, waiting for the short ball, but then swings and misses at a short, wide effort from Johnson. The bowler doesn’t get away with it again, as Moeen controls a lovely pull shot for four. It’s such a skilful shot, the next two wild hacks at air seem almost intentional, and he finishes the over with a drilled shot down the ground that Broad has to hop over down at the other end.
58th over: England 238-7 (Moeen 27, Broad 23) The heat doesn’t stop for these two, with Nathan Lyon returning. The first ball hits Broad on the pad and leads to a half-hearted appeal. Broad isn’t cowed, smacking two boundaries in the next three balls, with a cover drive and a swing that flies wide of second slip. They run a risky two, and Lyon clears the bails with Moeen chasing back – Aleem Dar wants another look, but the batsman just got back. England lead by 102.
57th over: England 228-7 (Moeen 27, Broad 13) So, Broad and Ali trot out to the crease, on a healthy partnership of 31. They’ve struggled a touch with the short stuff – cue Mitchell Johnson. Broad starts with a push into the covers for a couple of runs, then fires a pull shot straight at the feet of Rogers, who is very sensibly sporting a helmet at square leg. A single, then an angled ball which Moeen feathers just beyond the diving Nevill and away for four.
Hello there. Niall McVeigh here, taking you through ‘til stumps. Would Alastair Cook and crew have taken a puncher’s chance at a 100+ first innings lead yesterday morning? Probably. Would he have taken that at 10.59 this morning? Probably not. Would he have taken it at 11.09, after Mitchell Johnson had wrought fresh havoc? Probably. How about forty minutes later, when Joe Root was settled in beyond the half-century mark? You get the idea. The players will be back out in five minutes. Let’s do this.
The perils of interviewing 10 children simultaneously …
A great first 20 minutes by Australia, who started the day knowing that the match might have slipped away from them over this session and the next. Instead two brilliant Johnson bouncers and two wickets all but ensured that come the end of England’s first innings the tourists will remain at worst competitive. Since then, there’s been some excellent spin bowling from Lyon, which suggests that Michael Clarke’s decision to bat first, bad as it seemed at close of play yesterday, may eventually work out in their favour.
56th over: England 221-7 (Moeen 23, Broad 10)
Lyon completes the first session of the day, and Broad gets a single off the last. England head to lunch with an 85-run lead. “With regards to the baseball-inspired suggestion that any ball that hits a batsman above waist height be a no-ball, I feel its only fair to point out that any quick ball that reaches the batsman above waist height, regardless of whether or not it hits him, is in fact a no-ball,” writes Phil Russell. “The only caveat being that the ball hasn’t bounced first. In the interests of fairness perhaps baseball could include this rule?”
Kudos to Broad for this innings @Simon_Burnton. Remember Mitch broke his foot with a yorker in 2013/14.
55th over: England 220-7 (Moeen 23, Broad 9)
Starc bowls, and Moeen plays the best shot of his innings so far, driving the ball through the covers for four. “Greetings, Simon, from a rainy Newfoundland,” writes Richard Woods. Hello Richard. “Maybe the other thing for Buttler and Moeen to have considered is that the previous ball had involved the Australians getting very excited about an appeal that had been turned down, and the umpire’s finger seemed to go up very quickly for the lbw. Maybe a little bit of pressure/excitement had got to Mr Aleem as well?”
54th over: England 216-7 (Moeen 19, Broad 9)
Lyon yields a single to each batsman, as the game swings into an awkward period, England desperately trying to avoid the immediately pre-lunch wicket. Meanwhile in Worcester, England’s discarded batsman hasn’t played himself back into the selectors’ thinking:
Ballance gone! Skied Morris to mid-on for 28. Yorks 227-3 in the 38th. 105-run stand with Maxwell inside 14 overs.
53rd over: England 214-7 (Moeen 18, Broad 8)
Fully 12 of Moeen’s runs – two thirds of his total, maths fans – have come from edges that have made it past the slips and gone for four. This time, precisely five overs after England’s last boundary, he sends Starc’s second delivery flying over the cordon and away. “With regards the Buttler non-review, I wonder if all the ruthless mockery of Watson’s reviewing after the first Test hasn’t got inside the heads of a few players,” writes Michael Jenkins. “It’s madness not to review when you’re one of the last two batsmen, there’s any chance of a reprieve, and you still have a review to spare.”
52nd over: England 210-7 (Moeen 14, Broad 8)
All sorts of bounce and turn here for Lyon, way too good for Moeen, who spends the first five deliveries squirming uncomfortably, before he finally gets the meat of his bat on the last, and is rewarded with a single.
51st over: England 209-7 (Moeen 13, Broad 8)
A couple of singles, and a couple of Johnson short balls survived by Broad. “Surely the issue here is that Buttler knew that Stuart Broad was in next, and we all know how many reviews he needs to have in the bank to function effectively as a batsman,” writes John Starbuck. Fair point.
50th over: England 207-7 (Moeen 12, Broad 7)
Lyon again fails to get a wicket, but he does get so much turn that the ball flies wide of the bat, surprises Nevill and goes for a couple of byes. “Reading OBO I am not able to figure out if the match is so close because Australia has fought back well or if England messed it up,” complains Naren Radhakrishnan. In brief, there was a brilliant opening over from Johnson that took out two wickets, but too many of the others – today and yesterday, from both teams – have been lost to loose shots. So, a bit of both.
49th over: England 204-7 (Moeen 12, Broad 6)
Johnson bowls, and England pass 200 with two for Broad, and then a few singles.
@Simon_Burnton easy to say with a chunk of hindsight. I'm sure it looked plumb. If it'd have been hitting 3/4 up he'd get stick #cantwin
48th over: England 199-7 (Moeen 11, Broad 2)
Oooh! Moeen edges, and Lyon nearly has a fourth wicket! Instead, though, it flies just wide of the single slip and England have four runs. Then Moeen smashes the ball straight into the shoulder of a crouching Voges at short leg, who saves a boundary and gains a bruise. For the first time in this Test, Lyon bowls an over without getting anybody out.
47th over: England 193-7 (Moeen 5, Broad 2)
“Has Daniel Jeffreys just emerged from a cryogenic sleep?” rages James Chippendale. “This isn’t 1935, aggressive bowling is compelling. Let’s stop boxers punching each other, it’s unseemly. Daft idea.” Meanwhile Twitter is abuzz with confusion about why Buttler failed to review, with Lawrence Booth summing the sensible position up nicely:
As others have pointed out, if you have two reviews left and your last recognised batsmen at the wicket, it makes sense to review
46th over: England 190-6 (Moeen 4, Broad 0)
Hawkeye shows that had Buttler reviewed his lbw decision, he’d have been reprieved – the ball was clearing the stumps. Lyon’s figures so far: three overs, three runs, three wickets. Three is certainly his magic number. Until he bowls another over, I suppose. This one’s a wicket maiden.
But he goes next ball! Again Lyon makes a breakthrough! This one just straightens, flies past Buttler’s defensive push, and hits his pad. He looks furious, and asks Moeen Ali if it’s worth a review. He’s told not to bother.
Hotspot shows no spot. Snicko shows no snick. And the ball would have cleared the stumps by six inches. Not out.
Australia think he edged Lyon’s delivery into his pads, and then to short leg! The on-field umpire did not. Let’s find out!
45th over: England 190-6 (Buttler 9, Moeen 4)
Johnson returns, but with none of the venom with which he started the day. It’s a maiden, but Moeen isn’t particularly worried. Meanwhile, it has just come to my attention that it is National Cheesecake Day today. In fact, it seems to be being celebrated both here and in America, which makes it International Cheesecake Day. Does the world – or, indeed, the cheesecake – need a cheesecake day? Does it? Really?
@Simon_Burnton I hope Mr Jeffreys is aware that every other rule in the game is in favour of the batsman. We hardly need another!
44th over: England 190-6 (Buttler 9, Moeen 4)
Nice, disciplined over from Marsh, during which no runs are scored and Rogers straps on some pads, preparing presumably to position himself at short leg and wait for Moeen to fend a Johnson bouncer into the air. “Given the rules, one can’t fault Mitchell Johnson for using the cricket ball to threaten GBH, but it seems unsporting because the threat is one-sided,” writes Daniel Jeffreys. “In baseball, a pitcher who hits the batsman suffers a penalty of one base and the batter walks. Fair play demands that cricket have a similar balancing clause – if a bowler hits the batter anywhere above the belt then it should be judged a no ball. This might rein back the ungentlemanly intimidation. A man should get caught defending his wicket not his frontal lobes.” In many ways a sensible proposal, but it would totally change the game in the batter’s favour, which would be bad.
43rd over: England 188-6 (Buttler 7, Moeen 4)
Another wide down leg side from Starc, who is bowling absolute dross this morning, and is flattered by Root having absent-mindedly got himself out off his bowling. And then the next delivery, a bouncer, flies so high over Moeen that it’s called a wide as well. The last delivery is edged low, wide of the slips and away for four, taking England’s lead beyond 50 (it’s now 52, to be precise). “On the subject of scenic rail journeys (36th Over), last year I had the last leg of a 12-hour rail journey in India up the famous Shimla railway,” recalls Sam Smith. “A 5-hour narrow gauge ride through the Himalayas to the old British Summer Capital. I spent 4¾ of those hours throwing up at every single stop and almost getting left behind a few times for good measure. Oh and there wasn’t even any Wifi! By comparison British Rail can do no wrong.”
42nd over: England 182-6 (Buttler 7, Moeen 0)
Marsh bowls a maiden to Buttler, who has taken 29 deliveries to accumulate his seven runs.
Glenn McGrath as Starc runs in - 'Root's in no trouble, he's looking set'. Two seconds later he's out. Cheers Glenn. @bbctms@Simon_Burnton
Yet another instance of Number Eight being a crucial slot in the order. 40 for Moeen here would be worth a ton on another day.
Root’s gone, nicking a wide delivery that he really should have left straight to second slip!
Gah, soft from Root ... Starc bowling dross and he gives it away
41st over: England 182-6 (Buttler 7, Moeen 0)
Starc repeats the delivery that brought a four in his last over – heading just wide of leg stump – and though it’s aimed at a different batsman this time, it brings an identical result. It is to prove Root’s final scoring shot. “Maybe that email came from this David Warner (the actor) who obviously knows something about high deliveries?” wonders David Griffiths. “Could it be that Mitch Johnson watched this scene before play today?” Warning: this video contains grisly scenes of fatal decapitation, and I include it only because Johnson did basically attempt to recreate it with a cricket ball.
40th over: England 178-5 (Root 59, Buttler 7)
Root hits Marsh square for successive twos, the first – a nice, controlled pull from a short delivery – stopped just short of the rope by Starc. “Why don’t Australia have Root down as a potential bumper victim?” wonders Neil Parkes. “Surely they’re not convinced by that panicked 6 off Johnson last night? I was at Lords for New Zealand day 4: “Root hooks the third consecutive short one [from Henry] into the hands of Trent Boult just behind deep square leg”. It was a blindingly obvious trap and they kept hitting him with short balls he wasn’t playing terribly convincingly. Perhaps he was playing for the team rather than his stats, perhaps he won’t fall for it again, but I’d have thought it was worth a try. Not that I want them to, you understand. I suppose they can’t afford to put three people on the hook with all the slip fielders they’ve got, but they’ve not exactly needed them this morning, eh?”
39th over: England 173-5 (Root 54, Buttler 7)
Starc returns after a change of ends, and his radar goes significantly haywire here, leading to four byes as one delivery flies way down leg side, and a couple of other much-too-wide deliveries. Buttler eventually flicks one that was heading only just wide of leg stump past midwicket for four.
38th over: England 163-5 (Root 54, Buttler 1)
Marsh bowls, Root inside-edges into his and the bowler wheels away, arms momentarily outstretched in celebration – until he realised the ball had hit Root’s back leg and bounced just wide of the stumps, which is why nobody else was running towards him with smiles on their faces. A maiden.
@Simon_Burnton The greatest trick British Rail ever pulled was convincing the world it no longer exists ...
37th over: England 163-5 (Root 54, Buttler 1)
Three singles to start Johnson’s over, three dots to end it. “Is Johnson the most exciting cricketer to watch in the world right now?” asks David Warner (presumably not that one). “If not any other suggestions?” Any bowler with class and confidence is pretty exhilarating. It’s two months almost to the day since Ben Stokes looked the most exciting cricketer in the world, against New Zealand at Lord’s. It’s a title that can be shared around, I think.
36th over: England 160-5 (Root 52, Buttler 0)
Root leaves the first four deliveries, before sending the fifth down to third man, where Australia have finally decided to station a fielder, for a single. “I’m thundering through the beautiful English countryside on one of our many wonderful and scenic train routes (sshh… don’t tell anyone that’s a lie, there might be some tourists reading) keeping up to date with the cricket using the speedy and reliable wifi and all was well until the internet died,” writes Peter Harmer. “10 minutes later and the system restores itself and Johnson has tried to kill two of our batsmen. What I’m saying is I think we can safely blame British Rail for those wickets.” Or we could, had British Rail not died nearly 20 years ago …
35th over: England 159-5 (Root 51, Buttler 0)
Australia clearly don’t have Buttler and Root down as potential bumper victims. Another Johnson over goes by without a bouncer, though there is one inswinger that is left by Buttler and flies perhaps four inches wide of off stump. A maiden.
.@Simon_Burnton Crikey. Whisper it, but this is a massive innings for Buttler. He's not had a great series with the bat and pressure is on!
34th over: England 159-5 (Root 51, Buttler 0)
Hazlewood is off, and Starc on. He sends down one ludicrous wide, caught by Neville, diving full length, before it hit the toes of second slip. Then Root hits one delicious cover drive, and pulls slightly awkwardly for a couple to bring up his half-century. And here’s a tweet that popped up and disappeared again as Mitchell Johnson’s 300th Test wicket was so rapidly followed by his 301st, but that deserves to be witnessed in all its manifest monstrosity.
A single for Root, and no vicious bouncers this time from Johnson. “How did your interview go?” asks Robert Wilson. “Any tips or inside skinny? Or was it just all a subtle way of super-boasting that you once spoke Icelandic? Or did said Most Important Football Scout in the World find you a touch kotroskin?” It went OK, I think, or as well as any interview can when you’re supposed to be watching cricket, and you don’t understand any of the answers. I asked Udinese’s head of scouting some questions in terrible Italian. He answered them in very fast Italian. I recorded the call. At some point I’ll listen back to it very slowly and try to work out what on earth happened.
32nd over: England 151-5 (Root 44, Buttler 0)
Hazlewood’s first delivery is too wide, and sent down to the third man boundary by Root. The second is less wide, but is also sent down to the third man boundary by Root. “Bodyline bowling?” asks Michael Gorman. “After all these years?”
That Mitchell Johnson over will live forever. Two England batsmen bounced out. Classic and expert sadism.
31st over: England 142-5 (Root 35, Buttler 0)
What an opening over. Breathless stuff, this. Johnson’s first delivery swings a lot, back into Root, and he flicks it off his pads and through the covers for four. Root flicks the next, another full delivery, away for a single and then stands at the other end as a brutish pair of bouncers does so much to nullify England’s first-day advantage. England lead by six.
And he’s done it again! This one bouncing into Stokes’s face, and he raises his hands and gloves it behind!
Does getting out to that qualify as a "weakness" v the short ball? Liike having a weakness against being punched on the nose by Mike Tyson
Early breakthrough for Australia! A vicious, screaming bouncer flies straight at Bairstow’s head, and he fends it into the air and straight to Nevill! That was vicious.
Oh crikey how do you play that? That's a proper fast and nasty wicket.
30th over: England 137-3 (Root 30, Bairstow 5)
Hazlewood takes the ball, and his first delivery moves off the seam away from Bairstow. A vaguely proffered bat gets nowhere near the ball, but a lovely opening to the day. A few moments later the batsman belts something wide and full to the deep cover boundary.
Out come the players, bathed in sunshine, albeit with some thick cloud not immediately overhead. Let’s watch cricket!
Looking back at Alastair Cook’s wicket yesterday (see it here), I love the way the camera goes looking for the ball, assuming it’s rocketing ropewards rather than nestling flukily in a fieldsman’s midriff. It’s the excessive camera-pan that makes it for me.
More day one reaction, this time from Chris Rogers, speaking to Sky last night:
Nathan Lyon has been chatting to Sky:
Yesterday probably wasn’t the best day for Australian cricket, but Jimmy Anderson was fantastic and probably showed us how to bowl in these conditions. We’ve had a night to work out how we can have a better day than yesterday, and we’re looking forward to it.
I think we come out, be positive with the ball and try to take wickets. This pitch has got something for the bowlers. If we bowl positive, we can take seven more wickets, get back out there and have a go.
An official weather forecast. Much the same as mine, I think:
#Ashes. A better day for it today, lighter winds, a bit warmer, mostly dry and bright but with the outside chance of a passing shower. JW
If you want to know what James Anderson thinks about things, we can help with that:
“We need to lose as few wickets as possible in the next hour,” says Steven Finn. “We’re in a good position, but it’s not a done deal yet.” Yep, that pretty much covers it.
OK, he didn’t answer. I’ll try again in a minute. In the meantime I can tell you that Michael Holding is on Sky, in the middle, and it looks a bit blustery. There’s a bit of trouser-flap and jacket-whoosh going on.
Hello world!
Three. It’s the magic number. Three wickets down. Three runs behind. Third Test of the series. Three victories required to take the Ashes. Yes, no doubt about it, today’s pre-play build-up is sponsored by the number three. Welcome, boys and girls, to day, er, two!
Simon will be here shortly. In the meantime here is Ali Martin on Steven Finn’s return to the Test scene:
Only the stone-hearted – or perhaps the one-eyed supporter of the opposition – could begrudge Steven Finn the two wickets he enjoyed on his comeback to Test cricket at Edgbaston after a two-year absence that, at one stage, led him to shed tears in the away dressing room on this ground.
That reported occurrence, playing for Middlesex at the start of the 2014 season, followed his early return from the tour of Australia the winter before, when the one-day coach, Ashley Giles, described him as unselectable after deciding a plane home, rather than more self-flagellation in the nets, was the more humane option.
10th over: England 51-1 (Lyth 12, Bell 32) [Target 121] Lyon maintains an assertive off-side field for Lyth, who fails to pierce it with a rasping square cut that’s excellently cut off by a diving Warner. It’s a good probing maiden.
9th over: England 51-1 (Lyth 12, Bell 32) [Target 121] Johnson’s on then, to the usual serenade of “he bowls to the left…”, which he does with his first ball, which is wide and easily left by Bell. The one bouncer of the over is straight and true but easy enough to duck under, and the local hero brings England to a rapid 50 with a wristy square drive for four.
One more plug – get a load of this, The Guardian Live with Andrew Flintoff:
8th over: England 47-1 (Lyth 12, Bell 28) [Target 121] Bell executes a rather smarter glide down to third man off Lyon, playing it late and steering it to the boundary. More transgressions from spectators behind the sightscreen momentarily delay things before Bell picks up three more with a chop square on the offside. A single brings to the strike Lyth, who creams a confidence-boosting four through the covers. And here comes Mitchell J…
Who fancies a game then? Here’s Joe Neate with an unrefusable offer.
“For anyone disappointed that this game looks like it might not make it to Sunday, fear not, the OBOcassionals are in action again down in Brighton in a mini-tournament for the Extra Cover charity. This is a final call to action for anyone who wants to come down to watch, play, or even umpire or do the score. Should be a terrific day out, and people of any ability are more than welcome. We’re playing this Sunday the 2nd August from 11am. To get in contact, there are a few options. Facebook:OBOccasionalsTwitter:@JoeNeate1My email: joe.neate@gmail.com
Please get in contact, the more the merrier, and we’re mostly normal and friendly. We have two 20-20 games in the day, and if you turn up, you’ll get a game, guaranteed.
7th over: England 36-1 (Lyth 8, Bell 21) [Target 121] Bell unfurls a grade A, makers-name-displaying cover drive that races past Starc and to the ropes for four. Emboldened, he cracks the following delivery square on the offside for another boundary. Starc just can’t bowl a tight over in this match and he’s milked for four more with a deftly timed flick down to wide fine leg. And then - A DROP - Bell tries to steer it down to third man and edges it to Clarke, who spills it. Poor cricket all round there.
“Not sure if anybody else has passed comment,” comment-passes Ross in Edinburgh, “but what would happen in a County Championship match that saw 27 wickets fall on the first 2 days and is likely to be wrapped up the end of the third ? Would there be an inspection and potential points deduction for preparation of a “unsuitable” or “poor” pitch ?”
6th over: England 23-1 (Lyth 8, Bell 8) [Target 121] Lyon finds some turn, which doesn’t greatly bamboozle Lyth, who square cuts uppishly, but it does befuddle the fielder at backward point who sees the ball spin past him and race to the boundary. The target is now below 100
5th over: England 19-1 (Lyth 4, Bell 8) [Target 121] After the dismissal of Cook with the first ball of the over, Bell is off the mark straight away, clipping a half volley nonchalantly through midwicket for four. He gets another, less impressive, boundary with a squirt past the slips to conclude an over.
“I can’t be the only person writing in to correct someone’s peculiar idea that the Aussies were bowled out for 121 at Headingley in 1981,” smartarses John Starbuck. No, they were bowled out for 121 at Edgbaston in 1981, like I said.
Uh-oh. Here we go. Cook is comprehensively castled by an outswinger that pitches leg and clips off. Fine bowling. Now is the worrying time for home fans (well, in fact all day has been, but you get my drift).
4th over: England 11-0 (Lyth 4, Cook 7) [Target 121]
We have some spin with the new ball, as Lyon comes on at the City End. No great surprise really. He finds some turn away from the left-hander and ramps up the pressure with an aggressive offside field, but Cook threads a firm drive through the gaps in the covers and adds three. An extra slip is brought in for Lyth, who’s well beaten with a sharp turner. But he survives, so we’ll call it a good leave. Or something.
3rd over: England 8-0 (Lyth 4, Cook 4) [Target 121]
No Mitchell Johnson yet – star batsman Starc continues at the Pavilion end. Lyth is off the mark with a lovely shapely cover drive for four. It feels like every run counts for him as much as England at the moment. He’s largely watchful for the rest of the over, with some good leaving outside off stump, though one sharp square cut is well stopped at gully.
So where should our money be going then? Here’s one suggestion:
Afternoon everyone. Tom here, taking up the chase.Well, like the people on the afternoon shift in Edgbaston’s bars, I wasn’t sure if I’d be called into action at all today. But here we are, with England facing a nervy little chase. The angst-infused historical precedents have been flying around social media this morning (have any cricket lovers in England done the remotest stroke of work today?) - that 121 is the precise total Australia were skittled for at Edgbaston in 1981; that England’s most recent fourth-innings score was 103 at Lord’s, on a flat pitch at that; that there are echoes here of the nerve-shredding chase at Trent Bridge 10 years ago; that the atmosphere in the ground at times this morning – sporadic Australian cheering interspersed with audible expressions of English anxiety – sounded exactly like it did, science boffins have demonstrated, on That Fourth Morning in Birmingham in 2005. A new chapter is waiting to be written here then …
2nd over: England 4-0 (Cook 2, Lyth 0) [Target 121]
Hazlewood, not Johnson, and he starts with leg-stump half-volley which Cook works away for two runs. Better line from Hazlewood. Two more as he reverts back to that first ball.
1st over: England 0-0 (Lyth 0, Cook 0) [Target 121]
Good start from Starc - a maiden, with a few questions asked of Lyth. It ends with the Yorkshireman leaving one that rises and catches the toe of his bat, but it lands short of the man at gully.
Here we go - Starc to open the bowling after the sightscreen issues are rectified....
ENGLAND NEED 121 TO GO 2-1 UP IN THE 2015 ASHES.
First, they’ll need to negotiate a tricky two/three over mini-session before the lunch interval. Johnson will probably get the new ball. Reckon we’ll see Nathan Lyon on early, too.
That’s it! Mo floats one up, Starc goes to clear cover but miscues to the sub-fielder, Josh Poysden, who takes an easy catch.
England require 121 to win!
79th over: Australia 265-9 (Starc 58, Lyon 12) [lead by 120]
Finn back into the attack and Starc clears his front leg to pierce the gap between cover and mid-off. Good work from Ali, though, and it’s stopped expertly. Gorgeous straight-drive from Lyon is stopped superbly by Finn, who aborts his follow-through to dive across and save one-handed.
78th over: Australia 264-9 (Starc 57, Lyon 12) [lead by 119]
Heave-ho from Starc but no connection, as Mo floats one above his eye-line. The next is slightly flatter and Starc connects this time but to backward point.
77th over: Australia 263-9 (Starc 56, Lyon 12) [lead by 118]
Diligent from Starc. Gutsy and calculated. He even manages to evade a full toss from Stokes that nearly wraps him on the wrist, but he does well to plonk it into the leg-side for a single at the end of the over.
76th over: Australia 262-9 (Starc 56, Lyon 12)
Starc picks a single off to mid-on this time as Lyon takes guard against Moeen, who is operating around the wicket to both batsmen. Lyon gets on full and outside off-stump and leans forward to push through cover for one. Firm bunt down the ground gives Starc another. Lyon then sweeps fine for two to finish the over.
75th over: Australia 257-9 (Starc 54, Lyon 9) [lead by 112]
Starc is happy to let Lyon face Stokes. A single and Lyon is swinging and missing at a fifth stump delivery. Lyon then gets forward with a lot more conviction and strikes four through extra-cover.
74th over: Australia 252-9 (Starc 53, Lyon 5) [lead by 107]
Mid-off and mid-on pushed back to Starc. Moeen floats one up and Starc’s head goes back to smash over mid-wicket. No connection, for bat on ball or ball on stump. Next ball is played with a bit more thought as he pushes to the man out at mid-off for a single. Lyon sweeps his first ball for a single to deep square leg. Another harder one from Lyon, squarer, goes to the fence for four!
73rd over: Australia 245-9 (Starc 51, Lyon 0) [lead of 100]
Stokes into the attack, replacing Joe Root. He starts over the wicket and signs of a touch of swing, as he starts one wide of leg stump which goes on to wrap the top of Hazlewood’s pad on leg stump. The next ball, Root takes a stunning catch at third slip. Big appeal against Nathan Lyon, first up, but it’s not out - seems to have hit just outside the line. At least Aleem Dar thought so, anyway. Hawkeye says “umpire’s call”. Close again – Dar thinks long and hard and still not out. Fair enough. Lyon finally gets bat on one, right back to the bowler. And again. Wicket maiden. Turns out the second one was out. Ah well...
Scores of more than 50 since April 2014: Mitchell Starc: 2 Michael Clarke: 1 #ENGvAUS
Brilliant catch from Root - Stokes pushes one across Hazlewood, who swings wildly and Root takes a blinding one-handed catch, diving high to his right at third slip. Stunner.
72nd over: Australia 245-8 (Starc 51, Hazlewood 11) [lead by 100]
Starc very watchful of Moeen’s flight and defending nicely, almost inside-out. Leaves his third ball, as Mo gives this one a little bit more air. Not enough for Ponting, who wants Starc to be tempted. He is, the very next ball, and he goes high but straight enough to evade the man running back from mid-off. Another four. An almighty heave the next ball goes higher than it does long but still manages to plink on the right side of the boundary, from an Australian point of view, for six! That’s Starc’s fifty from 83 balls.
71st over: Australia 235-8 (Starc 41, Hazlewood 11) [lead by 90]
Flighted and Starc is foward and swiping him down the ground for a one-bounce four. Really well played by Starc. He scampers a single that looks tight but Ali’s throw and Buttler’s mean Hazlewood is safe. Solid defence to finish the over.
70th over: Australia 230-8 (Starc 36, Hazlewood 11) [lead by 85]
Hazlewood gets his first boundary – a fortuitous edge as he misreads the ball off the pitch and hurries through a back-foot punch, which trickles for third man boundary, fine, for four.
Huw Neil reckons he’s seen this somewhere before...
“Do you think that Australia can bat through to at least luncheon, leaving England a target of 130 (which Australia failed to chase down in 1981 at Headingly)? Could Johnson or Starc be Edgbaston 15’s Bob Willis? I shudder at the prospect.”
69th over: Australia 226-8 (Starc 36, Hazlewood 7) [lead by 81]
Hazlewood starts the over with a single allowing Starc to a full five.
68th over: Australia 225-8 (Starc 36, Hazlewood 6) [lead by 80]
Couple of strangled appeals as Starc drives right next to his pad. Manages to get one out of the middle but he’s driving it into the ground just in front of him and Ali can field it easily. Maiden.
@Vitu_E Not meaning to brag, my dog caused the Nevil wicket. If it hadn't needed a walk..... you're welcome England
67th over: Australia 225-8 (Starc 36, Hazlewood 6)
Just one from the over - to Starc. Broad off next over as Ali takes the ball.
66th over: Australia 224-8 (Starc 35, Hazlewood 6) [lead by 79]
Couple of solid defends of the ball and Hazlewood then gives himself room to drive down the ground for three. An easy single for Starc gives Hazlewood one more ball to play. Another solid bunt and another couple.
65th over: Australia 218-8 (Starc 34, Hazlewood 1) [lead by 73]
Second ball and Finn gets a feather from Nevill for his sixth of the innings. Josh Hazlewood is the new man (another leftie) and he’s right behind two good length balls from Finn, who is currently in possession of his best Test figures.
Nevill feathers one through to Buttler, who takes an excellent catch diving to his left. Carbon copy of one off the glove that wasn’t given earlier. England, at ease...
HE’S SMASHED THE COVER OFF IT! PRAISE BE TO DAR!
Nevill feathers one around the corner and it’s given but the batsman wants a review...
64th over: Australia 217-7 (Nevill 59, Starc 54) [lead 72]
Short-leg in for Nevill as Broad starts another over. He works around the corner first ball and Starc is the man on strike. He’s also got a short-leg for company and he plonks one over his head as Broad pushes him back. Single taken. Another worked single around the corner takes Nevill to 59. Starc gets a leading edge and manages to scamper two as the ball squirts wide of mid-off.
63rd over: Australia 212-7 (Nevill 57, Starc 31) [lead by 67]
Finn starts with a short one, now over the wicket to Starc. He follows up with a fuller, straighter one which hits Starc high on the back thigh – an appeal, Dar says “not out”. Wider and fuller and Starc has his fourth boundary, timing nicely through extra cover. A much better delivery cuts Starc in half
62nd over: Australia 208-7 (Nevill 57, Starc 27) [lead by 63]
A skewed on-drive makes its way to Moeen Ali, though not before Starc is able to scamper for a single to allow Nevill to take the remainder of this Broad over.
An Australia wicketkeeper edging everything for four. Huh.
61st over: Australia 207-7 (Nevill 57, Starc 26) [lead of 62]
Finn goes full to Starc and he drives well through the covers for four. Two balls later Finn is back in the batsman’s half again and this time three is taken. That’s the fifty partnership, from 86 balls. Last ball of the over, Finn bowls an outswinger and Nevill drives away from his body, thick-edging through a vacant gully region. Anotherfour...
60th over: Australia 196-7 (Nevill 53, Starc 19) [lead of 51]
Muted appeals after Buttler takes excellent down the leg-side, as Broad has Nevill bunching up with one that rises on him. Atherton reckons there was a tickle on the glove, but Chris Gaffaney, the standing umpire, thinks not.
59th over: Australia 196-7 (Nevill 53, Starc 19) [lead by 51]
Starc slashes at a wide one and it somehow finds its way through the slip fielders and away to the third man boundary for four! Cook orders a tightening up and a couple of balls later Finn beats Starc’s edge. And again. Can’t really fault the bowling, to be fair. Four off that over.
58th over: Australia 192-7 (Nevill 53, Starc 15) [lead by 47]
Starc whips off middle and leg and Moeen dives over one at mid-on for four! Single off the fifth ball and Nevill leaves. So far, so good for Australia.
57th over: Australia 187-7 (Nevill 53, Starc 10) [lead by 42]
Finn starting around the wicket to Starc and the pointy-nosed one gets forward and pushes down the ground for three to bring Nevill back on strike. Nevill goes to leave and Finn catches the back of his bat: the ball ricochets just past the stumps and away for four to take the keeper to 49*. Then he works another around the corner for another four - that’s Nevill’s first Test fifty.
56th over: Australia 176-7 (Nevill 45, Starc 7) [lead by 31]
Broad kicks us off. A thick edge off the second ball finds it’s way to the vacant third man boundary. Nevill then opens the face and Stokes has a fumble after a chase to allow another two. Another edge drops short of Bell at third slip and the captain gallops after it. Another two.
Jerusalem on the ones and twos, so we must be underway soon..
“I also have the fear, though Geraint Morgan’s concerns about our bowlers being stupid enough to bounce Johnson are misplaced. Not that some of our bowlers don’t seem perfectly capable of stupid decisions when it comes to bouncing tailenders, but Johnson’s already out. Even Stuart Broad couldn’t try to bounce someone already back in the dressing room.” Thanks for joining us, Geoff Savage.
And Tom McKenna too...
@Vitu_Ehttps://t.co/WXGoq6cVi4 buttery bulletproof is a staple of the hipsters diet. Don't read this with a hangover mind you...
So has Chris Hind:
“Butter in coffee is a health fad, often known as ‘bulletproof’ coffee. It’s supposed to help with a ketogenic diet. If you’re accompanying your coffee with carbs you’re not on a keto diet so don’t bother.”
Had no idea “buttered tea” was a thing. But David Hopkins has had it:
“I’ve never tried butter coffee, but Dhananjay’s note does remind me of the difficulties I had pretending to enjoy a butter tea made by generous hosts in Nepal. It’s apparently just the thing to help you walking in the Himalayas but it also makes a suet pudding seem like a ryvita in comparison...”
This is the kind of pessimistic thinking we thrive on. Take it away, Alex Gemmell:
“If Australia’s 4 remaining batsmen equal their own individual Test high score they will have a lead of over 200. Starc scored 99 against India.”
Step into the asylum, Geraint Morgan. I’ll get the kettle on:
“Is it perfectly
normal English to spend this morning working out the ways England can lose this match? I have fears of Australia getting a lead of 120 as the depleted bowling attack gets frustrated with the tail enders, and then someone stupidly bowling a bouncer at Johnson…”
Matt Brown’s on e-mail too (from his iPhone - la di da):
“Could Jimmy’s injury be the equivalent of the Glen McGrath injury a decade ago? Joining you in being bloody terrified btw.”
@Vitu_E Australia are effectively 23-7 but I've still got The Fear. #Ashes
Apologies for the delay. But Richard Lankshear is with me...
“I’m with you.” See?
So Anderson has officially been ruled out the fourth Test at Trent Bridge, as well as the rest of this one. His availability for the final Test at the Kia Oval will be determined in due course.
In case you were wondering how much of a loss Anderson will be in Nottingham, just have a look at his Test stats at the venue...
England and Stuart Broad skittled Australia for 60 in the morning and Joe Root piled on the runs in the afternoon to give England a 214-run lead at the close
Right, that’s it from me. What a day. What. A. Day. Stick around on site for Mike Selvey, Vic Marks and Ali Martin’s reports from the Trent Bridge. And join us on the OBO again for tomorrow for more. But for now, cheerio!
This is what being Australian must have felt like in 1993. And 1989. And 94-95. And 2013-14. I could go on … #Ashes
Biggest 1st inns lead at end of 1st day: 286 SA v Zim CT 2005 233 Eng v Aus Lord's 1896 214 today
England 274-4 – England lead by 214 runs. Yes, you read that right. About as one-sided a day of Test cricket as you’re ever likely to see.
65th over: England 274-4 (Root 124, Wood 2) Wood flicks one off the shoulder of the bat but doesn’t take the run available. And the next flashes past the outside edge. He does well to dig out an inswinging attempted yorker from the fourth ball of the over and similarly well with the next. The final ball … is left alone outside off.
64th over: England 274-4 (Root 124, Wood 2) Wood takes a single off the second ball of Hazlewood’s latest. And a low edge from the nightwatchman just fails to reach the slips later in the over. He survives, though, and will face Mitchell Starc in the actual definite final over of the day.
63rd over: England 273-4 (Root 124, Wood 1) Root sweeps Lyon for two (off the gloves) and then tickles for a single. And Wood pinches the strike for the final over of the day with a single off the last.
62nd over: England 269-4 (Root 121, Wood 0) And despite being 209 runs ahead on day one, England send out Mark Wood as a nightwatchman.
Five minutes remain in one of the best days for the England cricket side in a long, long time.
Hazlewood induces a play-and-miss outside off from Bairstow, who has ridden his luck at times in this innings. And then his luck runs out – a straightforward flick off his pad flies straight to Rogers at square leg.
61st over: England 268-3 (Root 121, Bairstow 74) Lyon once more. Root plants the foot and heaves a slog-sweep into the stands at cow corner. Fine shot.
60th over: England 261-3 (Root 114, Bairstow 73) Yet again Hazlewood begins an over with a four-ball – Bairstow driving a half-volley sweetly through the covers for four. He’ll have his sights set on a first Test century tomorrow if he can make it through to the close. Salt? Meet wounds – a bouncer soars high over Neville’s despairing dive and away for four byes that push the England lead past 200. On day one.
59th over: England 253-3 (Root 114, Bairstow 69) Lyon returns for a little twirl before the close. Root waits brilliantly on a wide one and plays a cut so late it actually happens tomorrow to send the ball bobbling away for four.
58th over: England 249-3 (Root 110, Bairstow 69) Hazlewood returns and finds himself immediately thumped to the cover boundary for four by Bairstow. That was a half-volley … and he follows it up with a gentle half-tracker to Root, who pivot-pulls to cow corner for four more. That brings up the 150 partnership off 180 balls. And an inside edge from the next flashes past the stumps for a single.
57th over: England 239-3 (Root 105, Bairstow 64) Warner once more. Nudge and nurdle from Root.
56th over: England 233-3 (Root 101, Bairstow 63) Johnson continues to bend his back but this is a forlorn Australia now. Thirteen overs remain today but we won’t squeeze them all in.
Most #Ashes Test 100s for England before 25 yrs 3 - Joe Root 2 - Len Hutton Note: Don Bradman by then had already made 7 100s #Ashes2015
55th over: England 230-3 (Root 101, Bairstow 60) A century for Joe Root! He cuts Warner away for four to move to three figures and Trent Bridge rises in appreciation. It has been a quite sensational innings, one that gets you genuinely wondering about what lofty place he will find in the pantheon come the end of his career. That good.
Joe Root is the first batsman to score a century on day 1 of an Ashes Test batting in the 2nd innings of the match.
51st over: England 213-3 (Root 91, Bairstow 53) “A friend just texted me: ‘England should declare and claim the last half hour,’” writes my colleague (and Cricket Pitch host) Emma John.
54th over: England 224-3 (Root 96, Bairstow 59) Johnson continues round the wicket to the two right-handers and yelps an appeal as Root is finally beaten by one that swings in. It’s doing too much, though – probably missing leg, though it wasn’t too far away with the naked eye. And a couple of balls later England are in full troll mode – a little hesitation as the batsmen come back for a second, Warner does brilliantly in the deep and Johnson collects before shovelling the the ball just wide of the stumps as Bairstow dives for the crease. He would’ve been out had the throw connected. Instead they run an overthrow.
53rd over: England 221-3 (Root 93, Bairstow 59) Oh my word. Michael Clarke looks heavenwards and no wonder: Warner does indeed trundle in and with his first ball he induced Bairstow into a drive and finds the edge. It zips wide and over second slip in almost taunting fashion.
“I’m a Wednesdayite and I think Joe Root has just over taken Michael Palin as my favourite Blade,” writes Simon Jenkins.
52nd over: England 215-3 (Root 92, Bairstow 54) Johnson continues and tucks Bairstow up just a touch with the third ball of the over but the batsmen aren’t troubled unduly. Australia just want this day to be over.
Meanwhile, David Warner is having a bit of a stretch. A couple of dibbly-dobbling overs may be in the offing.
@John_Ashdown seeing the ashes is now over can we not invite @BLACKCAPS back for a decider at the oval?
50th over: England 209-3 (Root 91, Bairstow 49) Johnson once more. Root stays watchful outside off.
“All this fuss about Stuart Broad,” writes Tom Levesley. “Everyone seems to be forgetting that Tom Levesley took 8-15 for the Brondesbury Casuals in 2001 to guide them to victory at Harrow Rec. I’ve wasted an afternoon looking for the non-existent online archives but someone should still have the scorebook.”
49th over: England 208-3 (Root 91, Bairstow 48) Starc tempts Bairstow into driving away from his body … but he middles it and sends the ball crashing away through the covers for four.
“If watching Australia bat was like watching the highlights live, then watching Joe Root bat today has been like watching a career highlights reel,” writes Adam Hirst, who’s not wrong.
48th over: England 197-3 (Root 90, Bairstow 39) Johnson strays wide. Root cuts for four! And again! Pick your own superlative, they’re all good. That takes Root into the 90s and the partnership past 100.
47th over: England 189-3 (Root 82, Bairstow 39) A reprieve for Bairstow, who gets in a right tangle as Starc bangs one in short. Somehow the top-edge lobs over the slip cordon. And there’s a moment of worry when he starts shuffling down the track in search of a silly single and has to dive back to his crease when Starc picks up and throws at the stumps.
46th over: England 184-3 (Root 81, Bairstow 35) Oof! Root unfurls a cover drive so majestic it should really have its own throne and sceptre. Or wine shop. He’s now the leading runscorer in the series (and the next three names on that list are Australians, which probably says something about something). Bairstow joins the fun with a clumping drive through mid on for four more. Hazlewood looks dejected, as well he might.
45th over: England 175-3 (Root 76, Bairstow 31) The selectors couldn’t really have foreseen the extraordinary events today, but the decision to omit Mitchell Marsh is looking a stranger one by the minute. Starc, who has all three wickets thus far but must be feeling a little tired, returns for another blast. Both batsmen nudge singles.
44th over: England 173-3 (Root 75, Bairstow 30) More good stuff from Hazlewood, who sends down a maiden at Root.
Only previous England batsman to outscore Australia having batted second at the end of day one was Bobby Abel at Lord's in 1896
43rd over: England 173-3 (Root 75, Bairstow 30) SHOT! Root skips down the track to Lyon and calmly plants him wide of mid on for four. And tickles the next for a single. Bairstow isn’t finding life quite as straightforward out there, though, and he is forced to fend off a few.
42nd over: England 168-3 (Root 70, Bairstow 30) When your luck is out, it’s out. Bairstow edges the improving Hazlewood clean through the gap between second and fourth slip. And he follows it up with an odd, one-kneed pull shot for a single. And Hazlewood ends the over by beating Bairstow’s outside edge once more. Comfortably his best over of the match.
In more worrying news for England, Joe Root is struggling a touch with his back.
40th over: England 161-3 (Root 69, Bairstow 25) Bairstow brings the paddle-sweep out of his box of tricks and tickles Lyon fine for four. That takes the England lead past 100. Before 5pm. On day one.
39th over: England 156-3 (Root 68, Bairstow 20) Hazlewood, who has gone back to line-and-length basics to some extent, keeps things tight at Bairstow. Root nabbed a single from the first, though, to deny the bowler a maiden.
38th over: England 155-3 (Root 67, Bairstow 20) Lyon returns as Clarke looks for something, anything, to get his side back into the game. He doesn’t find it here though – three from the over.
38th over: England 152-3 (Root 64, Bairstow 20) It’s been a big week for Joe Root. First he finds out that if you leave Championship Manager running for 1,000 years his beloved Sheffield United turn into the greatest team in history. And now he’s outscored the entire Australia XI. He’s done it in some style too. He adds one here and Hazlewood finally draws a play-and-miss, Bairstow driving slightly wildly outside off and connecting only with Nottinghamshire air.
37th over: England 151-3 (Root 63, Bairstow 20) The England run-rate is still a very healthy four-an-over, and it’s been over five in the last 10 overs. They’re all over Australia here. Bairstow brings up the 50 partnership with a pull for three as Johnson continues and Root picks up four from the next, paddling a pull to fine leg as the bowler struggles to get his bouncer up above waist height. That moves Root past Australia’s total.
36th over: England 142-3 (Root 57, Bairstow 17) The inconsistent Hazlewood returns to the attack. Again the over features a four-ball … and Root isn’t going to miss out, chopping past gully for four. He’s in Bell 2013-esque form here.
In fact, let’s poor ourselves a glass of something strong and indulge in some Root love:
Christ, that highlight reel of Root's fifty. You could eat off some of those shots. #Ashes
Since he was dropped in 2013-14, Root averages 80 from 16 Tests. And he might be be the world's best batsman by Sunday.
35th over: England 137-3 (Root 52, Bairstow 17) Whump! Bairstow’s bottom hand comes to the party – the first ball of Johnson’s next over is a bit of a nothing delivery and is shovelled down to cow corner for four. A thick inside edge from the next though is a whisker away from clattering into the stumps. That was an escape. A bumper later in the over flies away for four more. Fourteen from the over.
Here’s Paul Griffin: “This, from the OBO of the first NZ test barely two months ago, seems a very different era...”
34th over: England 123-3 (Root 52, Bairstow 7) Root brings up his half century with yet another glorious stroke – a luxury, full-fat, triple chocolate cover drive smothered in caramel and deep fried until golden. Four runs.
33rd over: England 119-3 (Root 48, Bairstow 7) Bairstow v Johnson again, and this time the bowler has him in trouble. The batsman keeps planting his foot down a little early and trying to play around that front pad – difficult. It takes an inside edge to save him from the fifth ball. A maiden.
Think I might have been the only person to miss this earlier
32nd over: England 119-3 (Root 48, Bairstow 7) Starc’s turn to pepper Bairstow with some short stuff. He escapes – though that’s not really the right word: he’s playing perfectly well – to the non-striker’s end with a push through the off side and Root thrashes Starc’s final ball backward of point for four. In this form, Root pretty much makes you tingle with excitement.
“The point about ‘schoolboy (or girl) cricket’ is the stupendous mismatch that sometimes happens,” writes John Starbuck. “A bowler is right on the money in a game and is simply too fast/artful for the opposition, or racks up multiple centuries while all around collapse. Because games at school level often haven’t had the filtering effect of stronger competition, a side can walk all over another one week and fold themselves the next. Hang on, that sounds familiar …”
31st over: England 112-3 (Root 44, Bairstow 4) Johnson v Bairstow II. Johnson again looks for that throat-ball and Bairstow just manages to cope with it, glancing off the ball off his gloves and taking enough speed off it so that it doesn’t sting too much when it cannons into his ribcage. Another fearsome bouncer rips past his nose. Both men look up for this contest and Bairstow stands frim, flicking the next off his kneecaps for a single. Root, playing like a dream, punches wonderfully through the covers for a couple more from the next.
30th over: England 107-3 (Root 41, Bairstow 2) “Getting slightly perturbed by the constant mention of Broad’s 8-15 figures as ‘schoolboy stuff’,” writes Tsiloon. “Maybe we were very mediocre but we never had anyone take eight wickets in an innings, personally would have been happy with that many in a season.” I know what you mean – although, ahem , I did once take four for 18 for the school side. Heady times. Root has started gorgeously after tea – he flicks one off middle stump and away for four through midwicket and follows it up with an even better shot, a glorious tippy-toed punch through the covers for four of the most aesthetically pleasing runs you’re ever likely to see.
The players are back out. Off we go again.
England 99-3. And there are still 40 overs remaining in the day …
29th over: England 99-3 (Root 33, Bairstow 2) Root takes care of the first three deliveries, scampering a single off the third to give Bairstow potentially a trio of Johnson balls to cope with before tea. The first he clips off middle stump away for a couple to get off the mark, the second he bunts away outside off. And the third … is a bouncer outside off that Bairstow swerves calmly away from. And that’s tea. England have a lead of 39 with seven first-innings wickets remaining.
28th over: England 95-3 (Root 32, Bairstow 0) An odd dismissal that. Cook seemed to play for swing that didn’t materialise and ended up missing a straight one. Bairstow sees out the remainder of the open, but Mitchell Johnson is coming on at the other end. We’ve just seen a replay of the ball that did for Bairstow at Edgbaston – it’s still a terrifying delivery.
The England captain departs! Starc beats Cook with a full one that careers into Cook’s pad slap-bang in front of middle stump. The very definition of plumb.
27th over: England 95-2 (Root 31, Cook 43) Lyon has changed ends and sends down a maiden at Cook, the most notable moment of which sees Root send a few stewards scurrying towards a van that is parked in a gap between the stands and is causing a few windscreen reflection issues. A couple of towel are rustled up from somewhere, though the whole operation is delayed by someone switching the wipers on. Cricket, ladies and gentlemen.
26th over: England 95-2 (Root 31, Cook 43) Starc returns for another blast as this pair look to bed in until tea. Five dots before Root pounces on a hint of width and pushes through the covers for a couple.
25th over: England 93-2 (Root 29, Cook 43) Hazelwood again mixes it up a little, some decent line-and-length and one hideous leg-side delivery that might have been called a wide.
24th over: England 91-2 (Root 28, Cook 43) Lyon keeps Cook honest for three balls but then drops too short and allows the England captain to free his arms and cut gleefully through backward point for four. The Australian bowlers just can’t string together a succession of decent deliveries – every couple of dots is followed by a four-ball.
23rd over: England 86-2 (Root 27, Cook 39) Hazlewood again tempts Root with a floaty wide one but this time the batsmen misses out, mistiming his drive. Better from Hazlewood in general though.
Meanwhile, the young match mascot has turned up in the third man chair in the Sky commentary box. Ricky Ponting nicks his sweets … then slightly disappointingly gives them back.
22nd over: England 84-2 (Root 26, Cook 38) Nathan Lyon gets the chance to turn his arm over for the first time today. A little control would do for Michael Clarke at this stage. Just keep the batsmen pinned down for an over or two. Cook nurdles a single behind square on the leg side. Root pushes for a couple that take this pair to their 50 partnership. It’s taken them only 51 balls to get there.
I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking: “What would Dr Karl Kennedy off of Neighbours make of this Australia performance?” Well …
21st over: England 81-2 (Root 24, Cook 37) Back-to-back boundaries for Root as Hazlewood returns to the fray. His first is filth – full, wide, floaty … and crashed to the cover point boundary by Root. The next is clipped off the hip and beats Johnson’s slightly bungled dive down by the midwicket fence. Root rattles on to 24 from 23 balls
20th over: England 73-2 (Root 16, Cook 37) Dropped! Starc squares Cook up with a beauty that catches the edge and flies high into the gap between second and third slip. Smith dives to his right from third but can only palm the thing away to the boundary – Clarke was tumbling to his left from second slip and was probably in the better position to take the catch. It was a tough one but it certainly goes down as a missed chance. Cook is playing a few shots here but not beating the field – a pull echoes noisily around Trent Bridge but flashes straight to mid on. From the last, though, he cuts past point for four. Fine shot.
A little note of caution for England: it’s only three years since they bowled a team out for less than 100 in the first innings of the match and went on to lose: v Pakistan in Dubai in February 2012.
19th over: England 65-2 (Root 16, Cook 29) England lead! Root glances Johnson to fine leg for four then follows it up with a thumping pull for another boundary.
18th over: England 56-2 (Root 9, Cook 28) Cook has a little nibble at one outside off but fails to make contact but the batsmen run a bye as Starc strays to leg with the next. Then … shot! Starc finds the sort of late inswing that did for Ian Bell but Root watches it beautifully and punches authoritatively down the ground for four with a bat so straight in could be involved in some sort of military parade.
If you haven’t seen it, the front page of tomorrow’s Courier Mail is a doozy:
17th over: England 51-2 (Root 4, Cook 28) Hello all. John Ashdown here, stepping in to the OBO breach after a profitable spell of 12 for 104 from the estimable Mr Miller. He heads off for a graze on the midwicket fence and Mitchell Johnson rumbles in once more. Root gets off the mark as the bowler drags one down and wide – his cut zips away backward of point for four. And he tucks a leg bye off his pads from the penultimate ball of the over to bring up the England 50 – they trail by just 10 runs.
16th over: England 44-2 (Root 0, Cook 26) Cook gets four with what we’ll generously call a ‘late cut’, but in reality was probably a thick outside edge. Cook cuts one to gully that bounces off the fielder and they take a single, from a no-ball too. Decent line from Starc to Root though, encouraging him to play at most things he should and a few that he shouldn’t.
15th over: England 38-2 (Root 0, Cook 21) Hazlewood gets away with a wide so wide that even Shane Warne thought it was. Cook rides some in-swing to flick a couple through mid-wicket, then drives one down the ground that Warner fields splendidly to keep them to just one.
14th over: England 34-2 (Root 0, Cook 18) Root flaps a little at a full, wide one, much like the shot he nearly got out to at Cardiff, when Brad Haddin dropped the Ashes. Well, sort of.
Jake Patterson writes, inbetween mouthfuls of apple pie and twinkies: “Emailing from the US. I got into work this morning and wondered why it showed England trailing even though they are batting. I just got into cricket so I am very confused what is going on. Is Australia normally this bad? Does this mean our cricket team could beat the Aussies in a test match?”
...and it was just clipping leg stump.
Starc bowls a toe-crusher to Bell and he’s given out lbw, but will it stand...?
13th over: England 32-1 (Bell 0, Cook 17) Hazlewood has changed ends, and he sends down a rather neat maiden to Cook.
Meanwhile, some English introspection among the joy, from James Soper:
12th over: England 32-1 (Bell 0, Cook 17) Bell’s in, and Shane Warne has upgraded the Warwickshire man from ‘the Sherminator’ to ‘Stifler’ - and in Warne’s brain, that is indeed an upgrade.
Mitch Starc has the ball from the Radcliffe Road end, and Lyth drives a full one down the ground for two, but then one on a slightly better length induces the nick, and Australia have their first wicket. There’s a momentary pause as they double-check Starc hadn’t over-stepped, but he was just - just - OK.
11th over: England 30-0 (Lyth 12, Cook 17) Decent ball from Johnson, going wider on the crease and getting the ball to shape away, causing Cook to fence at it without much conviction. The rest of the over is a bit wide, although Cook flings the bat at one of those wide ones, missing by a distance.
10th over: England 30-0 (Lyth 12, Cook 17) Hazlewood continues around the wicket to Cook, who collects a slightly lucky single off an inside-edge out to fine-leg. So much has been happening that it’s taken Sky til after lunch to note that Trent Bridge, and Nottingham’s two football grounds are quite close together, AND for David Lloyd to have a pop at someone in the crowd for being fat.
9th over: England 29-0 (Lyth 12, Cook 16) Mitch is bowling to Lyth now, and he just misses the top of off after the Yorkie opener leaves on length. Lyth tucks a couple off the last ball of the over, down to deep square leg. This now feels a bit more like normal Test cricket, after the madness of this morning.
8th over: England 27-0 (Lyth 10, Cook 16) Hazelwood tries around the wicket and gets a certain amount of success, beating Cook’s inside edge and going up for lbw, but it was hitting marginally outside the line and going over. A maiden, though.
An answer for Mike Voss, sort of, from Alex Burton: “Sorry Mike- nearest place is Tashkent...
7th over: England 27-0 (Lyth 10, Cook 16) Johnson flings one in at some pace, but it’s on Cook’s leg stump, and he flicks it away rather adroitly to the square leg fence. One more single from the over.
Sounds like it’s all kicking off on Channel Nine...
I'm a bit delirious but did Warnie just say he became a Chelsea supporter when a fan attacked him with a knife on the tube?
6th over: England 22-0 (Lyth 10, Cook 11) Hazlewood is a little more on point with a nice yorker that Lyth keeps out, but then drifts legside, Lyth clips straight at Rogers but he misfields horribly, and they nab a single. Bit of in-dip from the last ball as Cook is slightly tucked up, but gets a thickish inside-edge to fine leg for one.
Mike Voss has an extremely niche request: “I just arrived in Bukhara in Uzbekistan and popped into a hostelry with WiFi for a beer and to check emails etc. My Ashes whatsapp group had a number of cryptic messages and when I asked what was happening the Aussie simply said “it’s lunch”. Looks like I might be stuck here awhile as my hotel’s WiFi is iffy. Unless someone can recommend a cricket friendly pub here???”
5th over: England 20-0 (Lyth 9, Cook 10) Here’s Mitchell Johnson - can he spark something in this Aussie performance? There’s a bit in this pitch still, getting an edge from Cook that doesn’t carry, but from the last ball he drops too short and wide, and Cook cuts betwixt slips and point to the boundary.
The Observer’s Emma John has an addition to the bill for those Guardian Live Cricket Pitch events: “I can EXCLUSIVELY reveal to you that for the show on the 18th August we will also be joined by The Last Leg’s Adam Hills and McBusted’s Harry Judd.
Steve Smith shadow-batting a leave just then my new favourite moment of the day.
4th over: England 15-0 (Lyth 8, Cook 6) Hazlewood, who’s supposed to be Australia’s Mr Consistency, is a bit all over the show again, and Cook tucks a couple off his pads and down to fine leg for two. However, he comes back splendidly by sticking two in a row exactly where you should bowl to Cook, outside off, and the England skipper fishes at both.
And we’re back. The sun is out and Australia have quite the task on their hands. Here’s Hazlewood...
A note of caution/pessimism for England, from Shankar Mony: “It’s been hard work but I have found a stat to give England fans concern – I know they happier when worried:
“Only twice in cricket history has a team lost two wickets in the first over before – Eng v NZ(Astle made 200+) and Pak v India(Pathan took a hattrick). On both occasions, the team went on to win! It should be noted that neither Eng nor Pak were dopey enough to be skittled for 60!”
“According to the national rail website,” Andrew Benton writes, promisingly, “it takes not less than 7hrs and 49 minutes to travel from Criccieth (Gwynnedd) to Bat and Ball (near Sevenoaks in Kent) - so, the Aussies probably got as far as Machynlleth in their first innings.....and long may they stay there.”
Since the English among you will be in rather good moods, how about you have a look at some of the Guardian Live Cricket Pitch events over the next month. Here are the details:
And more from Katy - here’s the Guardian’s report from Lord’s in 1896, when Australia were bowled out for 53 in 75 minutes. REMARKABLE BREAKDOWN OF THE COLONIALS!
Splendid work here from Katy Stoddard, the Guardian’s media librarian who has dug out this gem of a match report. The last time an England bowler took eight wickets before lunch was SF Barnes, as mentioned before, in 1913 against South Africa in Johannesburg. He got 8-56 all in.
“If I’m right (and I’m a bit of a Statsguru novice so I might not be),” caveats Timothy Colyer, “then Australia’s innings of 111 balls is the shortest first innings by any team in the history of test cricket. Two balls shorter of the 1896 Lord’s test (also Australia).”
Also...
Australia's innings the 7th shortest all-out innings ever in Tests. They played positive cricket today. Bad, positive cricket.
What a morning. It seems ages ago that someone emailed in, mentioning that they were following the OBO in Borneo. It seems like a ripe riff at the time, then all that cricket started happening. But here are a few people following the cricket from exotic locations.
“How about following you at work in Equatorial Guinea?” - David Shaw, Honorary British Consul, Malabo, Equatorial Guinea.
3rd over: England 13-0 (Lyth 8, Cook 4) Lyth looks like he’s going to just leave everything in the last over before lunch, but from the final ball Starc gives him a lovely half-volley that he nails to the square boundary. Stick your feet up and have a sandwich chaps, you’ve earned it.
2nd over: England 9-0 (Lyth 4, Cook 4) Lovely start by Cook, flicking a rather generous, floaty number through straight mid-wicket, which gently plops against the boundary marker. Hazlewood is then no-balls, and complains at reasonable length about the decision, but he was a good few inches over the line. One would think they have more to worry about than a correctly penalised over-step.
While this isn’t offering excuses for them, Australia will presumably be cursing the weather - after cloud cover for the majority of their rather perfunctory innings, the sun is now shining over the glorious city of Nottingham.
1st over: England 4-0 (Lyth 4, Cook 0) Starc goes full, full, full, but the second ball is driven rather nicely through the covers by Lyth and to the boundary. Lovely shot, that, and England already have their noses ahead by surviving the first over...
Teams bowling 1st and batting by lunch on day 1 of a Test: Eng v Aus Lord's 1896 SA v Ind Ahmedabad 2008 SA v NZ CT 2013 Eng today
They’re back out. Starc has the ball, and Adam Lyth will face up first.
Stuart Broad finishes with figures of - get this - 9.3-5-15-8. It is, it should probably go without saying, his best analysis in Test matches. His best in first class cricket, actually, bettering the 8-52 he managed for Nottinghamshire against Warwickshire in 2010.
WICKET! Lyon c Stokes b Broad 8 Flashy from Lyon, who gets a thick edge over the slips and to the boundary. “That’s four more,” says Shane Warne, with adorable and admirable positivity. But that doesn’t last, as next ball he edges to Stokes in the gully and Australia are skittled, 20 minutes before lunch. Simply extraordinary.
18th over: Australia 56-9 (Hazlewood 4, Lyon 5) “I am emailing from the US,” says Andy Hall. “Is 54-9 good?” That very much depends, Andy.
Of course, we can't really judge this pitch until Australia have batted on it.
17th over: Australia 54-9 (Hazlewood 4, Lyon 4) A few people have been asking what the shortest ever Test match is, and in terms of balls it seems to be Australia beating South Africa at the MCG back in 1932, a match which lasted just 656 balls but, rather curiously, was spread over four days (including a rest day). A wicketless maiden for Broad, although to say Hazlewood looked uncomfortable is quite the understatement.
16th over: Australia 54-9 (Hazlewood 4, Lyon 4) Shot! Nicely played by Lyon, driving straight back over the bowler’s head, not perfectly timed but it just trickles into the boundary. Four runs! That’s nearly ten percent of the total in one shot!
15th over: Australia 50-9 (Hazlewood 4, Lyon 0) Broad’s current best Test analysis is 7-44, against New Zealand at Lord’s a couple of years ago. He comes close to bettering that, with Hazlewood backing so far away to leg that he’s basically in West Bridgford as the ball glides past his outside edge every time.
The cheapest Test seven-for is Harmison (7-12), the cheapest Test eight-for George Lohmann (8-5). http://t.co/kSQW8d5nfT
14th over: Australia 50-9 (Hazlewood 4, Lyon 0) Huge cheers, admittedly largely from the England fans, as Hazlewood flicks three runs through mid-wicket, thus bringing up the 50 for the tourists. Boof looks decidedly unimpressed on the balcony. Finn gets one to lift a bit on Lyon, who edges towards Stokes but it bounces inches in front of the Durham all-rounder.
13th over: Australia 47-9 (Hazlewood 1, Lyon 0) It’s impossible to know what to say.
That old adage about not troubling the scorers is shown to be nonsense once more, as another load of work for the chaps with the pencils is offered. Johnson repeats, almost exactly, Starc’s dismissal, which leaves him level with extras for Australia’s top-scorer.
And there’s another. Again, it’s slightly tricky to work out if this is sensational England bowling or terrible Australia batting. Probably both, but Starc drives airily and unnecessarily outside off, edging to Root at second slip who takes a comfortable catch.
12th over: Australia 46-7 (Starc 1, Johnson 13) A flurry, nay a flood of runs for Australia, with a couple of relatively streaky fours through gully for Johnson. The comeback is on!
11th over: Australia 38-7 (Starc 1, Johnson 5) Johnson flicks a couple over square leg, taking Australia past their lowest ever Test score, which was 36 against England in 1902. Another leg-bye, and they’re cooking on gas now. Drinks!
10th over: Australia 35-7 (Starc 1, Johnson 3) Starc is the latest lamb to the England slaughter, and he waves needlessly at the first ball, before getting a single first up with a push into the covers. Johnson clips a single of his own as Australia creep towards the significant milestone of their half-century.
Cathering writes: “I am taking a print of this OBO for my work’s hovel cubicle wall for posterity. With a bit of cunning editing I’ve got the first forty minutes encapsulated on a single A4 piece of paper…now on my wall. Don’t let my boss know that the headphones are cricket and not a Very Important Online Training Module.”
And Finn joins in, bowling an uncertain Nevill through the gate. Early lunch, anyone?
9th over: Australia 32-6 (Nevill 2, Johnson 1) Some more smart leaves from Johnson, and a couple of singles, one from each batsman, and it;s a reasonably uneventful over.
Amanda in Adelaide writes: “Watching the cricket while in the early stages of labour. Can guarantee none of the contractions have been as horrific as this Aussie order collapse. Midwives are recommending distraction and denial to ease the pain. How wise they are.”
8th over: Australia 30-6 (Nevill 1, Johnson 0) Cook’s clearly not happy with how England have been bowling so far and has made a change - Finn replaces Wood, and he nearly digs out Nevill with a couple of splendid yorkers, that are pretty well played by the rookie keeper. As is the next ball, which he clips to fine leg for a single.
“Right, who’s got The Fear then?” writes Nigel Steel, tapping into the darkest parts of every England cricket fan’s psyche.
7th over: Australia 29-6 (Nevill 0, Johnson 0) Johnson plays out the rest of the over rather sensibly, with some stout defence and judicious leaves. Dave Espley’s plans are ruined, slightly: “My daughter’s getting married on Saturday at 2pm. I was quite looking forward to peppering my “father of the bride” speech with humorous references to trying to keep informed of the test score during the ceremony. Bah.”
A couple of stats from John Ashdown, who’ll be on duty after lunch, assuming the Test lasts that long:
@NickMiller79 Some positive news for Aussies? Well, you're five wickets down, but you've still got two reviews left...
A five-fer in Stuart Broad’s fourth over! And this is due to an absolutely heinous shot from Clarke, throwing everything at a wide halfish-volley and edging to Cook, who jumps high to take a good catch. Just the most sensational scenes, and here comes Mitchell Johnson.
6th over: Australia 29-5 (Nevill 0, Clarke 10) A shot! A convincing shot! Clarke gets what amounts to a bit of a long-hop from Wood and is on it quick-smart, pulling through square leg and to the fence. Apologies if I’ve ignored your email by the way, but as you can imagine my inbox has exploded with people saying “I’ve got tickets to the third day!” But to the bloke who’s just written in requesting that I type faster - pipe down, son.
5th over: Australia 23-5 (Nevill 0, Clarke 5) I mean, it’s swinging a bit out there, but these Australian batsman are playing like this pitch is a sticky dog from the 1950s. Apparently the last man to get five before lunch in a Test was SF Barnes. Nevill takes a couple of leg-byes, then leaves one that hoops in and goes just over off stump - only two types of leave, as the old saying goes.
“To be fair, the run rate’s not too bad,” notes S.Ward. Take the positives, Australia.
What. A. Catch. Voges goes, driving squarely to Stokes’ right, but it’s miles away from him so he can’t possibly grab it can h...OH HOLY MOTHER HE CAN! Sensational grab, and Broad’s figures currently read 2.1-1-6-4. Decent.
4th over: Australia 21-4 (Voges 1, Clarke 4) Clarke lucky to escape as Wood bounces him, the Australian skipper attempts a cuffed hook which flies in the air, but falls just short of Finn at fine-leg. Voges then gets a single with a rather more controlled shot to the same man. That’s a whole over without a wicket. This is bull, England.
@NickMiller79 do you know that your commentary is the Guardian Australia's commentary? Less celebrating, more 'what a disaster' please!
3rd over: Australia 19-4 (Voges 0, Clarke 4) Broad drifts onto the pads and it flies down to fine leg for four leg-byes. No wickets in two balls, though. Booooooooo.
Thing is, wickets falling starts to get a bit samey now. Yeah, yeah, England, that’s lovely but try something different now. Broad gets Marsh driving outside off, and the drive...well it doesn’t go that well, as he edges to Bell in the slips. “This just isn’t fair or funny now,” complains Tim from Swindon. “I’ve got Sunday off to relax and watch the Cricket at home, looks like I’m off to trudge round a shopping centre at this rate.”
“What the hell is happening? Is this real?” writes NZ Trav. It bloody is you know.
2nd over: Australia 15-3 (Clarke 4, Marsh 0) Scenes. I hope nobody has tickets for the third day. Maybe even second day at this rate. Clarke very nearly goes second ball with the most tentative, uncertain of drives outside off that he inside edges and it zoots past the stumps and to the boundary.
OH MY EFFING DAYS! WHAT A START! Wood gets shape straight away, and second ball he gets one to fly back in at Warner who inside edges through to the keeper. TEN FOR THREE AFTER 1.2 OVERS!
1st over: Australia 10-2 (Warner 0, Marsh) What. A. Start. Warner hasn’t faced a ball and Australia are two down.
Smith is in early doors, and he’s not hanging around. He gets off the mark with a push to mid-on that Steven Finn misfields and they come through for a couple, then a wider one is driven through point for four. But then he’s gone! Remarkable scenes as Broad squares up Smith and he edges to Root in the slips! GONE! THAT’S OUT! GOT ‘IM! BAD LUCK YOU AUSSIES!
Australia are away with four leg-byes as Broad drifts onto Rogers’ pads, but the next ball is a belter, shaping away on off from round the wicket and catching the edge, the catch taken comfortably at knee-height by the skipper. That’s 300 wickets for Broad, and both he and the home crowd are delighted.
The sun’s out, Stuart Broad has the ball, Chris Rogers has taken guard. Let’s play.
A couple of slightly contrasting views on KP, for that is what he’s best at now he isn’t being brilliant at cricket quite so much.
Jonathan West writes: “The problem with KP seems always to have been that he has a huge talent for making a good point badly. His latest comment is a perfect example of its kind. I suspect that the real reason for his being cast into the outer darkness was that he made thoroughly justified criticisms of the way the team was being run. If he had been wrong, management would have been able to say indulgently “there goes KP off on one of his rants again”, waited for everything to calm down, and then carried on as before. It was the combination of his being both abrasive and right which was intolerable to them.”
There’s just a smidge of rain in the air - not enough to make a significant impact on play, but enough to delay the start by five minutes.
They’ve just had a minute’s applause for the recently and sadly departed Clive Rice at Trent Bridge. Here’s Paul Weaver’s obituary for the great man:
The New Yorker magazine once described the polymath Clive James as “a brilliant bunch of guys”. Well Clive Rice, who died on Tuesday aged 66 after suffering with a brain tumour, was a brilliant bunch of cricketers: a pugnacious batsman, a challenging fast‑medium bowler, a safe slip fieldsman and, above all else, a leader with the heart and mind of a true warrior; Hannibal would have vacillated before him.
“I have nothing witty, erudite or strangely surreal to stick in my email,” begins Ian Ratcliffe, promisingly, before ramping things up a notch or two, “but I am reading the coverage from the rain forests of Borneo whilst waiting for the birth of my second child. It’s peeing it down with rain and baby seems disinclined to make a speedy appearence - much to my wife’s disgust. Still, Come on England!”
Bloody hell. Can anyone beat that, in terms of exotic places they’re following/have followed the OBO? Almost certainly not, but have a go.
Ian Palmer’s been on, which what smells an awful lot like a riff for the day.
“Christopher Benn has got it all wrong. Cook is not the Emperor he is Princess Leia. Steely minded and idealogical fighting an evil in the universe.
Just time before the start of play for Mike Selvey’s scene-setter. The pressure is on Australia, says the big man:
All the pressure is on Australia. This is make or break for them, a situation very few beyond the most steadfast England optimists would have anticipated before the series began. Michael Clarke’s team can afford not to win the fourth Test but they must not lose or that will be the Ashes gone for the fourth successive time in England. On the other hand, England can lose the match and still eventually take the series but they would rather not have a shootout at the Kia Oval. Such is the frenetic pace at which these matches have been played that unless the weather intervenes massively, which looks unlikely, the draw can be considered an anachronism.
By next Monday evening, it will either be 3-1 to England and the prospect of a dead rubber at the Kia Oval, or 2-2 and the imperative back on England to make the running in what would then be seen as perhaps the most remarkable switchback series of them all. You can’t take your eyes off it for a moment.
Pup means business.
Michael Clarke just did the trademark "David Cameron walk swiftly away from interviewer with purpose signalling intent" manoeuvre. #ashes
“I had hoped that Cook had spent the week creating a Bill and Ted-style evil robot Jimmy Anderson,” writes Matthew West.
...with all that cloud cover and grass on the pitch and whatnot.
“I know it hasn’t quite happened yet but re the toss,” says Christopher Benn, brother of Sulieman, I assume. “I fully expected Alistair Cook to come out for the coin toss wearing the Emperor’s cloak declaring to Michael Clarke that his team have failed and that they would now witness the fire-power of a fully armed and operational Jimmy Anderson. Boo.”
Fire at will, commander.
“I agree with Vic Marks about the unpredictability of this series,” writes Any Pease. “That’s why I just went down the bookies and put a bet on Aus to bat first, 568 all out. England 650-2d in response. Aus to be 159-0 at tea on the 5th day and the captains shake hands.
“The chap behind the counter must have been new because he gave me spectacularly generous odds. I could barely stop myself from laughing as I put next month’s mortgage money down.”
Word around the campfire seems to be that Shaun Marsh is in for Mitchell Marsh, with Michael Clarke dropping to five. Watto denied.
“Morning Nick, hope you’re well,” begins Paul Ewart. “Always good to start the day with a snarky remark about KP but did you read the piece? It was genuinely constructive, indeed just the sort of advice an England fan would give to a struggling opening batsman: how best to play Australian bowlers. Who’d have thought?”
Of course I read the piece, and there were some constructive bits in there, but England’s most high-profile ex-player telling an already under pressure current player that he’s a walking wicket and he’s hampering the rest of their batsmen is not especially constructive, I’d say. It might be true, but a) Lyth most certainly already knows that and b) did Pietersen really need to say it in a blog for Paddy Power?
You wonder why we’re all here, really. That’s not supposed to be an existential statement - why is anyone here, when someday soon our star will explode and we’ll all turn to dust? - but about this Test match. Because England have the Ashes wrapped up, don’t they? It’s all done and dusted, right? Tear that precious wee urn from the uncouth, brutish grasp of the Australians and put it in its rightful place - England! England! England!
Nick will be here shortly. While you’re waiting, here’s Vic Marks on why we can expect the unexpected at Trent Bridge.
Perhaps it will be close this time. It is getting serious now; possession of the urn can be decided in Nottingham, which should concentrate the minds of both sides. So far in this series only one team per match has had their eyes on the ball. Maybe both teams will turn up on Thursday.
Moreover recently Trent Bridge has witnessed two climaxes sufficiently nerve-racking to prompt the unwitting chewing of umbrella handles. Two years agoJimmy Anderson took 10-158 in the match, which helps to explain why Australia are favourites, and England just prevailed by 14 runs despite the heroic efforts of Brad Haddin, who is also likely to be an interested spectator this time.
47th over: Australia 181-5 (Voges 23, Nevill 1) Stokes is back on the field, so presumably it was just cramp rather than a bout of hamstring oof. Nevill finally gets off the mark from his 20th ball faced with a tuck off his hips, then Buttler claims a catch off Voges down the leg side, but that wasn’t near nuffink. A leg-bye and another single from the over.
46th over: Australia 178-5 (Voges 23, Nevill 0) Finn beats Voges with one of those away-nippers that he plays at, then just has to hope he doesn’t catch the edge. Which, in good news for him, he doesn’t. Voges tries to leave the last ball of the over but it thuds into his gloves and dribbles to the slips.
Robert Wilson has some thoughts on Joe Root. In summary, he’s good: “Given all the eccentricities of this definitively weird game (random 8-fers, Aussies playing exactly the same shots that got them out first innings, David Warner generally being David Warner), how good does this make Root’s innings now look? Amidst all the English Broad-worship and Warne-mocking, you could just see a little uncomfortable awe in the reaction to Root. Admittedly, he had the best of the conditions but he was seeing it like it was a beachball and playing like some idealized computer game version of Sobers, Bradman and Ramprakash combined. He looked like an adult playing with children. Seriously, how good is he now?”
45th over: Australia 178-5 (Voges 23, Nevill 0) Decent over from Wood, just a single coming from it via a thickish Voges edge into the covers. One wayward delivery is saved with a marvellous diving catch from Buttler, down leg side.
44th over: Australia 177-5 (Voges 22, Nevill 0) Lovely over from Finn, missing Nevill’s edge (which sounds like it should be a peak in Nevada somewhere) by a whisker. One leg-bye from the over.
A poser from Matt: “Bit of a weird one, but something worth thinking about now that England are (effectively) reclaimed the ashes: who’s been the best Australian player this ashes? Who has underperformed the least?
43rd over: Australia 176-5 (Voges 22, Nevill 0) It’s possible that Wood can hear the commentators discuss how it should be him, rather than Finn who drops out when Jimmy Anderson is fit again, because he sends down an absolute zooter of an over, beating the edge and getting Nevill on the shoulder with a nasty lifter. Just a single from the over.
42nd over: Australia 175-5 (Voges 21, Nevill 0) Finn gets Voges flashing outside off, and not in a good way, then a single brings Nevill to strike, and he plays out the rest of the over with extreme caution.
Ouch...
The crowd start chanting "sacked in the morning" as Clarke walks off the field. They're probably right.
41st over: Australia 174-5 (Voges 20, Nevill 0) Nevill’s the new man, and he watches one outside off.
Wood bowls a bouncer that is so bouncy it’s called a high wide, then Clarke gets one of the least convincing fours you’ll ever see, trying to pull his bat away but it clips it through the slips. More pertinently, Stokes pulls up trying to chase the thing, and immediately goes off the field limping. He jogged off, so the chances of it being a proper hammy twang are minimal, but it’s a concern nonetheless.
However, England aren’t fretting for long, as Clarke once again plays one of those groping, uncertain drives to a wide ball, nicks it to Cook at first slip who juggles, palms the thing up in the air and Bell is there to swoop in and gather the catch. Will that be the last time we see Pup in a live Ashes match?
40th over: Australia 169-4 (Voges 20, Clarke 9) Finn gets a couple spot on just outside Clarke’s off stump, causing the skipper to uncertainly play and miss. Clarke tucks the last ball of the over down to fine leg for a single.
I *think* this is banter, from Paul Griffin: “I’m sure the lads don’t need more of an incentive to wrap up the tail tonight, but it’s Electric Funeral Metal night at the Old Angel Inn in Nottingham tonight. Somebody called DJ Entropy is featured. However, MC Learn To Bat Properly is not on the list, so the Australians top order would get less value out of the evening, and should probably stay in with a protein shake and a coaching manual.”
39th over: Australia 168-4 (Voges 20, Clarke 8) Wood has the ball now, and Voges slaps his loosener off the back foot, through the covers for four. The next one is a similar shot, but he gets a thick edge that bounces just shy of the slips, going through them as they take two runs.
Seems like an opportune time to plug this, the Guardian’s Cricket Pitch – Ashes Special at the Oval on Tuesday 18 August.
The UK’s only cricket-comedy-music-chat show returns with our Ashes Specials, in association with Kia. Hosted by The Observer’s Emma John, and comedian Andy Zaltzman, with former international, Gladstone Small and England women’s team captain Charlotte Edwards, The Last Leg’s Adam Hills and McBusted’s Harry Judd!
38th over: Australia 162-4 (Voges 14, Clarke 8) Just the one single from Finn’s over, Voges snaffling it.
Not gone brilliantly this, has it Devereux?
37th over: Australia 161-4 (Voges 13, Clarke 8) Broad’s getting some in-dip and some out-dip, but struggling to control either as he’d like at present. Voges tucks a single off his pads, and that’s yer lot from the over.
By the by, this was the last two-day Test, as Dan Lucas points out, when Andy Caddick turned into Malcolm Marshall for a glorious evening at Headingley.
36th over: Australia 160-4 (Voges 12, Clarke 8) The physio is on to have a word with Stokes, and at first glance it seems to be about that hamstring, but as it turns out he was merely delivering a banana. Anyway, Finn’s back into the attack, and he bowls a maiden that’s less eventful than your average Spiritualised gig.
Steve Hughes, whose other thoughts you can enjoy from the start of this innings, has been back on: “I would just like to reiterate my earlier comments about Cook’s declaration; it was innovative, courageous, and the timing was masterful, putting all of the pressure on the Oz boys, to which they inevitably succumbed. Batting beyond lunch would have achieved nothing, so kudos to captain Cook for his foresight and vision.
35th over: Australia 160-4 (Voges 12, Clarke 8) They keep cutting to Stuart Broad’s ladypartner in the crowd, which leads to the inevitable wolf-whistles from the well-oiled wazzocks in the crowd - come on, everyone, we can all do better than this. Including Broad himself, who floats a lovely leg stump half-volley to Voges, who jumps on it and flicks it to the mid-wicket fence. Three more runs from the over.
34th over: Australia 153-4 (Voges 6, Clarke 7) Clarke airily wafts his bat at one outside off as if he’s a jaded magician waving his wand half-heartedly over a top hat. Probably isn’t even a rabbit in there. Clarke is in and around (Clive) that front pad again, this time working the ball just past mid-on and they dash through for three runs.
Janet Stevens has an answer to the question posed by Johnny Cleary in over 32, and it’s one she’s clearly put a huge amount of thought into and weighed up all the pros and cons of the argument before coming to the following learned conclusion:
33rd over: Australia 150-4 (Voges 6, Clarke 4) Prediction; if/when Clarke is out, it’ll be lbw - he’s playing around his pad a hell of a lot, flicking a single down to fine leg after riding a bit of in swing from Broad. 150 up for Australia, but they’re not exactly cracking out the bunting for that milestone.
32nd over: Australia 149-4 (Voges 6, Clarke 3) Stokes sends down a few relatively uneventful numbers, with Clarke taking a single down to fine leg. A few balls haven’t really carried through properly, while others have taken off. Variable bounce isn’t, to say the least, what Australia want to see here.
Shots fired/boot in from Johnny Cleary here: “Given the Lords pitch was a featherbed and should be ignored, Smith has been bloody hopeless here!
31st over: Australia 148-4 (Voges 6, Clarke 2) Broad continues, and Voges...well, we’ll be generous and say he opens the face and gets a thick edge down to third man for four.
“Very heartening to see Stuart Broad overtake Fred Truman in the list of English Test wicket takers,” writes Andrew Pack. “Do you think there’s any remote chance of Stuart taking up Fred’s other mantle, of presenting a revived format of the Wheeltappers and Shunters Social Club? And yes, that is a set-up for you to put in a link to possibly the oddest TV series ever made (other than those Yugoslavian cartoons that sometimes used to be shown on BBC2 just before the Great Egg Race.)”
30th over: Australia 144-4 (Voges 2, Clarke 2) Clarke *really* reaches for the first ball after tea, his eyes looking towards point but the drive heading off the inside part of the bat to just past mid-off, and they take two. Stokes feels his left hamstring, which isn’t massively promising, but he looks OK in the end, getting one to absolutely hoop from outside off, so far that it might’ve missed a second set down leg. Then Stokes sends down a bouncer that Buttler can only tip over the bar and it’s four byes.
“How much are you loving your job right now?” asks Sarah Morriss.
We’re back out for what could be the last session of the Test.
“Any chance of a plug?” writes George Browne. Happy to oblige, George. Take it away.
“I was just wondering if you fellows would be kind enough to give a little plug to the six-a-side tournament my cricket clubs is hosting next Sunday 16th August? The day should appeal to those who are enjoying this new, shorter form of the game. Entry is free, and play runs all day from 9am. There will be 15 fixures in total, with a two-group round robin stage followed by semi-finals and finals.
It’s on. It’s bloody well on. Six wickets tonight to, with apologies to the two remaining Australians reading, reclaim the most marvellous prize in sport.
Nick Miller here to take you, this match and possibly the series home. Getcher emails to Nick.Miller@theGuardian.com or tweets to @NickMiller79, like Kenny MacLeod has:
So at the tea break Australia are four down, still 193 runs in arrears. Nick Miller is going to helm the evening session and I’d be surprised if he didn’t bring you news of England reclaiming the Ashes.
Cheers for all your emails and tweets. Sorry I couldn’t use them all. I’ll leave you with the only Fear you’ll need this evening.
29th over: Australia 138-4 (Voges 2, Clarke 0) This is great captaincy from Cook – he’d put Stokes there for that exact shot. Broad goes past Fred Trueman’s record to become England’s fourth highest Test wicket taker with 308. Only Anderson, Botham and Willis lie ahead. Voges is the new man and there’s a shout for a run out against him straight away as Stokes gets in a good throw from deep. They check, but Voges was well home. That’s tea.
Shannon Leaman, I love you so much: “Hello, Dan! I’m writing from the US. My husband is Australian and I can’t resist rubbing it in when the Aussies perform so terribly. On the way home from work yesterday I stopped at a bakery and bought a cake for my husband to cheer him up, but I had the baker write “Congratulations ‘Extras,’ Australian Top Score” on it in glorious green and gold.”
The plan works! Smith drives at a wide one and it flies low, straight to Stokes at short cover point.
28th over: Australia 136-3 (Smith 5, Clarke 0) Stokes is coming round the wicket to Shaun “Lousy Smarsh weather” Marsh. I know Australia are in trouble in this Test match, but the signs were there: you’re probably in trouble if you’re having to pick Shaun Marsh in your Test side. Anyway, appeal for a catch down the leg side gets turned down, rightly so, I think as it clipped the pocket. Before that, Marsh had got underway with a push to mid off for two. Oh wait, that’s his innings done. Thanks for coming, Shaun.
This is poor. Just as in the first innings, Marsh pushes at one that’s well wide of his off stump and moving away. It takes a thick outside edge and that’s not exactly difficult difficult lemon difficult for Root.
27th over: Australia 134-2 (Smith 5, Marsh 0) With two new batsmen at the crease, Broad returns. He starts with a very wide one outside Smith’s off stump and the world’s number one batsman drills him through cover for four. Broad’s sticking with a very, very wide line to Smith, but he resists temptation for the time being.
26th over: Australia 130-2 (Smith 1, Marsh 0) On Sky they’re showing a replay of all the Mark Wood deliveries where he’s pushed it with the popping crease and not been called for a no ball. Some of those are pretty clear no balls, too. That said, I feel bad for Wood now as Stokes, for the second time in consecutive overs, gets a wicket with a ball identical to one that Wood bowled in the preceding over.
“And I was just thinking that perhaps Jimmy’s place for the Fifth Test is safe after all,” writes Janet Stevens. “I thought he looked a bit worried as he applauded his mates back to the pavilion yesterday morning. Good that other people are getting a chance, though, he and Broad can’t go on for ever.”
Again Warner tries to flick it round the corner and again he gets a top edge. This time it loops up to mid on and, after seemingly spending an age in the air, the ball plops down into the hands of Stuart Broad.
25th over: Australia 128-1 (Smith 0, Warner 63) That’s a half century for Warner, just brushing the ball with his bat as he flicks it round the corner and down to fine leg for a couple. And then more bad luck for Wood as he sends down a bumper, Warner looks to paddle it round the corner, it gets a top edge and flies all the way over Finn at long leg for as flukey a six as you’ll see. Another leg side ball and four more, flicked round the corner.
“One more and we’re in to the tail,” says Chris Allison, unkindly but not unfairly.
24th over: Australia 113-1 (Smith 0, Warner 48) Warner goes after Stokes with the hook shot, but doesn’t quite get hold of it and it’s fielded on the bounce by the man at deep square leg – Wood, I think. Just the one, then the same to Rogers flicking round the corner off his ankles. A leg bye, that I miss while checking my tweets, then a wicket! And it is – just – a legal delivery!
I was just thinking this.
@DanLucas86 Bit like this at The Oval back in '05. Hayden/Langer off to a 90+ flyer, before the Harm/Hogg/Flin/King of Spain thing did 'em
There we go. It’s almost identical to the non-wicket before as Stokes shapes it away, on a length from round the wicket. Rogers drives hard, hands away from the body and the ball flies to the left of Root at third slip; the Yorkshireman flings himself left and takes a heck of a catch.
23rd over: Australia 110-0 (Rogers 51, Warner 47) Four byes to begin with as Wood whangs a bouncer hundreds of miles over his head. That’s the hundred up. Four actual runs follow as Rogers tickles one off his knees, round the corner and down to fine leg. Then he’s gone! Edged to gully where Root takes a very good catch... oh no but it turns out he’s overstepped and it’s a no ball! He’s only a fraction over the line, but it’s a reprieve for Chris Rogers. He has a waft at the very next ball though, England go up and celebrate, but the umpire shakes his head... it’s a weird one, because there was a noise, but the bat was a good three feet away from the ball! The fifth ball is short and Rogers gets a thick top edge over the slips and away for four. That’s his 50.
What a weird over.
22nd over: Australia 97-0 (Rogers 43, Warner 47) Another maiden from Ben Stokes, his second in five overs today. He has bowled absolutely beautifully without reward in this innings.
Happy first birthday to Eleanor, whose dad Doug asks for a shout out. He doesn’t give a last name though.
21st over: Australia 97-0 (Rogers 43, Warner 47) A change of tack, as
Ben Wyatt Mark Wood returns. Not much of a threat it seems and Rogers easily punches a cut out to deep cover point for a couple when he tries a bouncer. Nowt else happens in that over, though.
Meanwhile Henry Hempstead is a popular man! “Can you reassure Henry Hempstead that I am within 200 miles of Lyon and also have the fear?” writes the mysteriously named GM. “I wonder if any other readers are also within 200 miles of Lyon and have the fear?”
20th over: Australia 95-0 (Rogers 41, Warner 47) Four more runs for Warner, via a thick outside edge that shoots along the ground and through third man. Back-to-back lbw appeals follow though as Stokes pings Davey on the pads with a pair of straight ones, but both were going to miss leg stump and the second by some way.
Alex Studholme pleads, “Don’t replace Nick Miller’s use of Nirvana with this.”
19th over: Australia 91-0 (Rogers 41, Warner 43) A paddle sweep just round the corner gives Warner a run, then Rogers leans back and slaps a cut past Broad at backward point and away for four runs. Another boundary two balls later as Buck dismissively whips another too-full on through extra cover. Soft runs these, against Moeen.
18th over: Australia 82-0 (Rogers 33, Warner 42) An absolute beauty from Stokes, who is hooping it round corners here; pitched up on off stump from round the wicket and swinging away from Rogers’ drive. A bouncer, a couple of balls later, has the batsman looking to sway and ending up on his arse.
“Okay I most certainly have The Fear now,” writes Henry Hempstead. “I’m following the OBO from an apartment in Lyon. Nobody within approx. 200 miles cares about what’s happening in Nottingham, which means the inevitable Australian victory will have to be coped with by just me and, what do they call it here, ah yes, ‘vin’.”
17th over: Australia 82-0 (Rogers 33, Warner 42) Ta, Nick. What the bloody hell was that, Australia? You were meant to collapse spinelessly, not bring back The Fear for English fans as this extremely confident start is doing. Moeen tosses one up a bit too full and Rogers drills him nicely through extra cover for four. So Moeen goes a bit shorter and gets cut behind point for one.
16th over: Australia 77-0 (Rogers 28, Warner 42) Bit of swing from Stokes, coming round the wicket and getting a few to duck into Warner, the second of which is a bit full and he pushes it down the ground and to the fence. He then semi-drives at a wider, full one that goes through point for a couple, then another drop! A tough chance, but Warner misjudges an in-ducker, edges right in the middle of first and second slip, Bell dives to his right and gets a good hand on it, but it pops in then out again.
Another update - the millionth legal delivery in Test cricket in England will be the second delivery of the 16th over of Australia's innings
15th over: Australia 71-0 (Rogers 28, Warner 36) Hey, look at that - spin! Mo’s on, and Warner pushes his first ball to mid-on for a rapid single. That’s all from the over, as Rogers prods rather uncertainly at deliveries that aren’t really spinning.
14th over: Australia 70-0 (Rogers 28, Warner 35) Hmmmm. That old thing luck is going for Australia today. Warner plays one of those weird flap pull shots that he pulls out of halfway through, the ball balloons off a top edge and flies over the slips for four. The next one is just short of a length but keeps low, causing Warner to look most vexed, before he collects a more deliberate boundary with a nice drive through the covers.
Steve Hughes again: “Thank you for your kind words Boris; I doubt that I have ever worn a more nauseating smirk of self-satisfaction than I am right now, in this moment of glorious vindication. Incidentally, if we had not declared, we would now be 482/9, and Broad would have reached his century.
13th over: Australia 61-0 (Rogers 28, Warner 26) A change in the bowling, and Broad takes a rest for the first time in the Test, Ben Stokes taking the ball from the Pavilion End. He starts with a whiffy half-volley outside leg that Rogers reaches for and gets a tickle on, flicking it for four. Cheers go up as Australia pass their first innings target. See - alls they had to do was not get out all the time. You wonder why they didn’t think of that before.
Alex Studholme writes: “I wonder if Kieron Shaw also noted that England’s lead into the second innings of the original Ashes was 38. Which is slightly less of an advantage than 331. BUZZ BACK ON.”
12th over: Australia 57-0 (Rogers 24, Warner 26) Oooh, lovely shot that from Rogers, driving a full one through mid-off and to the boundary. Finn’s not been quite at it so far - not exactly bowling nonsense, but the Aussies have nonetheless taken a liking to him. A couple more singles from the over.
11th over: Australia 51-0 (Rogers 19, Warner 25) Rogers gloves one down the leg side that trundles out towards fine leg, and they take two. Then he’s lucky to survive after driving without taking the standard precaution of footwork, inside edging just past his stumps and they take a single. Another quick one is pushed into the covers, and Australia are working their way to a big lead now.
Kieron Shaw is on buzz-harshing duty: “Is it worth remembering how this ‘Ashes’ business began – with Australia all out for 63 in the first innings at the Oval in August 1882, before coming back in the second innings and winning the match? RIP English cricket and all that.
Updated stat: David Warner averages 19.50 in the first innings of Ashes Tests and 70.60 in the second.
10th over: Australia 47-0 (Rogers 16, Warner 24) Here’s big Stevie Finn with the ball. Rogers gets a single into the covers, then Warner is winded by a riser that tucks him up and thuds into his stomach. However, he regains his breath in time to play a delicious drive through mid-off and to the boundary, before getting another four with a little flick off his thigh that beats the dive of Moeen on the fence, and then six! Finn tries a shorter one but Warner, the blood flowing now, pulls with a flourish and a pirouette over deep backward square and into the crowd.
9th over: Australia 32-0 (Rogers 15, Warner 10) Drop! Everyone was already celebrating after the familiar sight of Broad inducing an edge from an Australian batsman, but Cook - diving to his left but not that far and at around stomach height, grasses the thing and Warner is reprieved.
8th over: Australia 32-0 (Rogers 15, Warner 10) Rogers flings everything at a Wood short ball so wide that he nearly put his back out reaching for it. No dice there, and he’ll be pretty glad about that, for it would’ve been a particularly embarrassing way to go. Just a no ball from the over.
7th over: Australia 31-0 (Rogers 15, Warner 10) Broad takes an uncharacteristic detour into ‘filth’ territory, and Warner slaps the ensuing wide half-volley through the covers and to the fence. That’s all from the over, as Warner leaves the rest outside off.
Steve Hughes is back: “Now I have lost my sense of identity; Australia will score 501, leaving a tricky run chase of 170. However, we will be dismissed for 156, leaving us a tantalizing 14 runs short of victory. Cook, despite having carried his bat throughout, will be the last man out, retired hurt, attempting a Dilshan scoop, but mis-timing it, and directing the ball with great velocity into his nether regions. There will be outrage, heads will roll, Downton, Moores, KP will be re-instated. But at least I will be correct, which is the most important thing.”
6th over: Australia 27-0 (Rogers 15, Warner 6) Couple o’ runs for Rogers, clipping them neatly off his pads out to fine leg. He flashes at the last ball of the over and gets a thick, wild edge that eludes a flying, twisting Lyth at fourth slip. If Stokes and Smith’s catches in this Test were incredible, that one would’ve been miraculous.
David Hopkins sniffs, possibly from the scruffy bit of the East Midlands: “Tim Hill has some nerve claiming Brian Clough Way as an example of Nottingham naming its streets after sporting heroes, when the road actually links Nottingham and Derby, a city with equal claim to the great man. Poor form also in his eschewing a cheap gag about Broad Street perhaps referring to the presence of ladies of easy virtue.”
England inexplicably deviating from their first-innings strategy of taking a wicket every 11 balls. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
5th over: Australia 21-0 (Rogers 9, Warner 6) Broad’s in, and Buttler takes a catch down leg that he seems pretty confident came via bat, but at best that clipped Rogers’ thigh pad. A jaffa beats the Rogers groping outside edge, then he shoves a single into the covers.
4th over: Australia 20-0 (Rogers 8, Warner 6) Before that review, Davie Warner gets off his pair with two, via a misfield in the covers, then with four from a slightly uppish cut through point.
Lordy that was a bad review. It was pretty full but it pitched just outside leg and was heading a fair way down, having swung with gusto in the air.
Toe-crusher from Wood to Warner, the umpire says not out...
They’re back out. Cricket is imminent.
Boris Starling is straight on Steve Hughes: “I don’t wish to be a pedant*, but re Steve Hughes’ views on the declaration: the 14 runs Warner and Rogers scored before lunch they would presumably have scored anyway no matter when they went in, so they can hardly be counted as runs off our overall lead.”
*I always wish to be a pedant.
“Tim Hill fails to declare his interest in landmarks being named after people,” j’accuses Matt Farrow, “because there was of course that time they named that grassy bit outside Wimbledon as Henman Hill in his honour.”
Laughed far more at that than I really should have.
Yep, we’ve found one - an Englishman who has found something to be downbeat about this whole affair. Steve Hughes chuckles:
“I don’t understand the praise for the declaration; it was just dumb. An early declaration only makes sense if there are time constraints, which there clearly are not; over three and a half days to go.
“I moved to Nottingham eight years ago,” writes Tim Hill, but not the Tim Hill I went to school with just outside Nottingham or the one that works at the Guardian, who as it happens are the same person, “and for the entire period have been mildly irked by the name of its actually-rather-narrow Broad Street. Given the city’s propensity for renaming its roads after local sporting legends (Brian Clough Way, anyone?), I’m hoping we can convince the council to expand this to Stuart Broad Street and kill the two birds of pedantry and celebration with one nomenclatural stone. Anyone with me on this?”
Afternoon, Nick Miller here. Life is sweet. My lunchtime jacket potato was just so, I’ve just seen a bloke wearing genuine, full-blown bell-bottoms and England could regain the Ashes by this evening. Two days! Imagine that. They could well win the last two Tests in the time it should take to win one. What a time to be alive.
But, of course, this liveblog is probably being read in Australia too, so let’s take a moment to think of those from down under who might be suffering.
So Australia are 14-0 at the end of the first session, 317 runs behind. They got five English wickets, but the batsmen played with freedom and joyful abandon, adding 117 runs in no time at all and declaring, just for the giggles really. It gave Australia a tough three overs to survive and they just about managed it, with Broad giving Warner a hell of a grilling in that last one before lunch.
Nick Miller is your man after the break. Send all your musings his way for the next hour and a half or so.
3rd over: Australia 14-0 (Rogers 8, Warner 0) Rogers’ time wasting tactics are a miserable failure, as Aleen Dar decides we’ve got time for another over before lunch. The crowd are happy with that, but Warner won’t be as a couple of Broad lifters just nudge away off the pitch and barely miss the shoulder of the bat. Then a slightly fuller one zips past the inside edge! This is so, so good to watch. Warner finally lays bat on one with a forward defensive, then Broad beats him yet again with one that moves away off the pitch. One last ball for Warner to survive before lunch... and it’s slightly anticlimactic as it goes round to long leg for a leg bye. That’s lunch.
2nd over: Australia 13-0 (Rogers 8, Warner 0) At the other end it’ll be Wood v Warner. It was a pretty comfortable victory for the bowler in the first innings – Warner was one of the batsman to escape blame for the debacle as it was a peach that did for him. A leg bye, then Rogers shamelessly wastes time in checking his guard to boos from the crowd. He gets a couple of very nice boundaries after that though, whipping one that’s too straight through midwicket and leaning into one across him, easing it through extra cover.
Does anyone else think Wood looks like that guy out of Parks and Recreation?
1st over: Australia 4-0 (Rogers 0, Warner 0) Four slips and a backward point in place for Rogers. Broad has the new ball, but I feel like I didn’t need to tell you that, and he’s coming round the wicket. He begins with a lifter, that Rogers defends well enough on the back foot. Australia, but not Rogers, are off the mark with four leg byes off the hip, down to fine leg, but then Broad is very, very interested in one that wobbles around teh seam, beats the inside edge and strikes Rogers high on the leg. No review, as it hit him outside the line though.
Same again please, Stuart.
I do like this from Cook. Keeping the foot on the throat by effectively saying “We can win this inside two days”.
86th over: England 391-9d (Broad 24, Finn 0) Amusing bit on Sky where they replay a bit from before the start of play, in which Ricky Ponting explains how to bat in swinging conditions as Mitchell Marsh loses his middle stump in the nets behind him. Back in the present, Broad is beaten all ends up by a slower one but then bloody hell! Cook has called them in! We’re going to have a tricky 10 minutes for Australia to face before lunch.
85th over: England 391-9 (Broad 24, Finn 0) One more for Broad, guiding Starc down to third man and bringing Finn on strike. He’s leaving almost everything on length here, which is a shame. Oh no there we go, he tries to hit this next one to Leicester and doesn’t even get close; smiles all round on the field, which is nice.
Thanks to James Thomas, who notes that Ian Botham played in five winning Ashes series. Fine company for Bell to be in.
84th over: England 390-9 (Broad 23, Finn 0) The hundred is up for Mitchell Johnson off the first ball of his return, as he goes full and wide and Moeen absolutely murders it over backward point for four. He goes next ball though, for a fine 24-ball 38 and Johnson gets his first wicket of the Test. That was all about Steve Smith though, a really really sharp catch. There’s half a shout for lbw against Finn, first ball, but it’s pitched outside leg I think and was missing it in any case.
“England should declare, rather than risk Broad and Finn against the new ball,” reckons Simon Eckford. “The extra runs are irrelevant and Australia’s only hope is if England lose one or two of their front line bowlers.”
Catch! Moeen pushes at one and it takes the edge. It looks to be going down to third man, but Smith flings himself to his left, Stokes-like, and grabs on to it one handed at slip.
83rd over: England 386-8 (Broad 23, Moeen 34) A couple more to Moeen as he swishes Starc off the pads. Mitch S is still bowling in the high 80s, but he must be getting a bit tired by now, having bowled unchanged today. He then mistimes a drive, getting it up and over cover and off to that beloved boundary. That’s 53 from 42 balls for the partnership. One more as Moeen guides it down to third man for a single.
82nd over: England 379-8 (Broad 23, Moeen 27) Hazlewood shares the new ball and, with a big wide flung outside off, sends the lead to 300 and England’s score to six (!!!) times that of Australia’s. Moeen then moves to 22 – all in boundaries – with a lovely timed shot straight back down the ground, and follows that by working it wide of mid on for four more. But then the run comes to an end, as he mistimes a cut at a short, wide one and just gets the one, er, run. Broad then gets in on the act, smashing one up and over mid off for four more! A bouncer follows and that’s hooked over square leg for six! 20 from the first five balls, then a near-wide to finish brings a blessed dot.
“Scheiss, on the other hand, is masculine,” notes Scott Poynton. I did email him back saying he was wrong, but he isn’t. Sorry man.
@DanLucas86 On another note, if this series goes as we now hope, will Bell be the only living Englishman to have been in 5 winning Ashes'?
81st over: England 359-8 (Broad 13, Moeen 18) The new ball is available, but Starc has no interest in it just yet. Broad stands tall to his second ball and drives sweetly on the up, through extra cover for four, so Starc develops a sudden interest in the new ball and takes it. Two more from the last ball, full and clipped off the legs.
Paul Ewart’s back. “Pah! Whilst Mapleston’s linguistic erudition is commendable his reading of Søren Aabye Kierkegaard’s existentialist philosophy leaves a lot to be desired. Kierkegaard’s existence was defined by not doing sh*t. Thus it would follow that the correct translation is ‘lad os ikke gøre det lort og beklagelse om evigt mere’”
80th over: England 353-8 (Broad 7, Moeen 18) Perhaps we will see the new ball next up? Nathan Lyon’s on to bowl what might well be a token over of spin, anyway. Broad nudges him away for two into the on side, but then gets hit in front. It’s close, but given not out, so Australia review... it’s not out! He was trying to sweep and missed it; the ball was hitting halfway up off, but the impact was only a fraction in line, so it’s umpire’s call. Broad celebrates with a single, then Moeen shows him how to properly celebrate with a mighty straight drive into the stands!
Nope, impact is umpire’s call, which is a nonsense as there’s no predictive element there.
This is given not out on the field, but looks mighty close to me...
79th over: England 344-8 (Broad 4, Moeen 12) We’re back underway with a glorious shot from Moeen, who leans into a full, wide one outside his off stump and caresses it out of the middle of the bat and through cover for four. Back-to-back boundaries, in fact, as the next delivery is too straight and gets clipped up and over square leg to the rope.
78th over: England 335-8 (Broad 3, Moeen 4) A thick outside edge from Broad brings cries of “catch!”, but they die down quickly enough as it transpires that the ball is going nowhere near a fielder, but rather flying out to deep point for a single. England lead by 275 at drinks.
“You’re all wrong,” reckons Dave in Vienna. “None of them would have said ‘dieses Scheiße’ because Scheiße is feminine (please don’t read too much into that, so’s work) so it would have been ‘diese Scheiße’.” This is correct.
77th over: England 334-8 (Broad 2, Moeen 4) Starc looks so threatening here – can he match Broad’s eight? He comes close to number seven with a yorker that tails into Broad very late, but the greatest living Englishman keeps it out well enough. Given how much Starc is getting this to move, will Clarke take the new ball when it’s available in three overs’ time? I’d wager not. Another yorker is dug out to finish the over, and England sprint a sharp single.
“This worries me, English batsmen not dealing with what little swing the Australian bowlers can muster. What on earth is going to happen when we bat again?” asks Michael Gaff.
76th over: England 333-8 (Broad 1, Moeen 4) A couple of you have emailed in about the prospects of Starc taking in all 10 wickets. In my opinion, it’s a stretch as Hazlewood got Bairstow out yesterday. That same bowler finds Stokes’ edge here, but it stays low and goes wide of gully, running away for four more. And indeed that’s as many as Stokes will get as Hazlewood grabs his second. Runs straight away for Broad, via an inside edge out to long leg.
“If you’d offered Cook the Aussies all out for 60 and England 324 -7 in reply, I reckon he’d have taken it,” reckons Andy Brittain. Take my job, Andy, just take it.
A nothing wicket this. Full and swinging down the leg side, but Stokes gets the tiniest inside edge as he looks to flick it round the corner and Nevill holds it. Time for a 60-ball Broad hundred, yeah?
75th over: England 328-7 (Stokes 1, Moeen 4) Runs, at last, for Stokes, as he turns a straight one down to fine leg for one but then Buttler goes for a flashy, but not brilliant 12. Rather hilariously, Moeen Ali strolls out at number nine and is greeted by an inswinger that goes all wrong and flies down the leg side for four byes. This is wonderful bowling from Starc, who is on for his best ever Test figures, but the final ball of his over is a bit too full and worked through midwicket for four.
“Just to point out that Ewart and Copestake both got it wrong,” points out Peter Maplestone. “The words were ‘Lass uns dieses Scheisse machen.’ Unfortunately, I am not in a position to say if it was Adorno or Benjamin. Actually, my money would be on Kierkegaard. But he being Danish would more likely have said ‘Lad os gøre dette lort.’”
This is wonderful bowling. On a length and swinging back in late, the ball flies through a big gate as Buttler tries to drive and crashes into middle and off.
74th over: England 319-6 (Stokes 0, Buttler 12) A change of bowling as Johnson, who has been pretty ordinary – to use the Australian parlance – is replaced by Hazlewood. His first ball cannons away off Stokes’ boot and they jog through for a leg bye. A few balls later, the right armer overpitches outside off and Buttler crunches it very nicely through extra cover for four, before punching another down to straight mid on for his third boundary.
73rd over: England 310-6 (Stokes 0, Buttler 4) Jos Buttler really could do with some runs in this series, but for the first time now he has a tailor-made situation to bat in: 246 ahead and with a similarly positive Ben Stokes at the crease with him. I suppose it’s not quite ideal, as he is facing Mitchell Starc in the middle of a quite gorgeous spell of seam bowling. Buttler is off the mark with a push down the ground for four to long off.
Oof. A lovely in-dpping yorker from Starc gives him a Michelle, ends Wood’s fun and rips leg stump out the ground.
72nd over: England 306-5 (Stokes 0, Wood 28) Johnson goes back over the wicket, whangs down a full and wide one that Wood drives at hard, getting a big thick edge that brushes the leaping Clarke’s fingers on its way down to third man for four. That takes England to five times Australia’s score. And then SHOT! Identikit ball follows and Wood thumps it aerially, but safely, through extra cover for a rocket of a four! Finally Johnson pulls his length back, but he’s still bowling way outside off and Wood misses out when he bottom edges a pull. There’s a shout for lbw shortly after, but it’s missing leg by a fair old distance. A big thrash gets an inside edge down to fine leg for a single off the final ball.
71st over: England 297-5 (Stokes 0, Wood 19) Starc beats Root again with an outswinger that evades the right-hander’s attempted cover drive. This is a nice little spell from Starc and it pays off, bringing Ben Stokes to the crease. Stokes gets a cracking yorker straight away and does well to dig it out with a nice straight bat. A wicket maiden.
On a length, just outside off and nipping away a touch; Root goes for the big drive and feathers it behind to the keeper, who takes it easily. Standing ovation for Root.
70th over: England 297-4 (Root 130, Wood 19) One more to Root, who rolls the first ball off his ankles and out to deep square leg. Wood then brings out the shot of the day, leaning into a full, wide one and lacing it through cover, right out the middle of the bat and whistling away for four. Johnson continues to bowl full and Wood turns the next one out to mid on for two more. This is utter dross, yet another one pitched up and Wood pushes him straight back down the ground for a couple more. Nine off that over.
Do you think County Cricket is better than this Test nonsense? Would you rather read about that? Here you go then!
69th over: England 288-4 (Root 129, Wood 11) Short and on the hips from Starc and Root turns him round the corner for a single, then MIRTH as Johnson fumbles the return throw. Wood sees off the rest of the over with little difficulty.
Patrick Foyle writes: “The boss and I have agreed; we need to inflict complete humiliation upon our Antipodean guests over the course of today, ideally via a Ben Stokes smashathon before more high quality pace bowling. What could be more fun?
68th over: England 287-4 (Root 128, Wood 11) Filth from Johnson: a short, wide nothing ball that Wood guides effortlessly through backward point for the first four of the day. He follows that immediately with the second, driving a half volley uppishly over extra cover and to the fence. You’d expect the bouncers to come flying in now, especially as Johnson goes round the wicket, but he continues to pitch it up. No more runs from the over though.
Paul Ewart is in the mood for a fight, er, I think: “That numskull Copestake has got it all wrong! Adorno lamented the commodification of contemporary cricket demanding the return of free-to-air viewing and insisting twenty twenty be cast to the wind. Walter Benjamin, however, celebrated the radical potential of Sky TV and the shorter, more popular and reproducible format. It was he who said: ‘las uns dieses Schiesse machen’. I demand a retraction!”
67th over: England 279-4 (Root 128, Wood 3) The odd moment of excellence on the first day, but a lot of stupid stuff too and seemingly losing his head at one point, on comes Mitchell “Ned” Starc(k). Root tucks his first ball off the pads to deep midwicket for a couple, then gets one more with another nudge into the on side. Wood then gets right back off strike by dropping it into the off side and setting off for what should be a very tight single, but Lyon fumbles at mid off and the run out opportunity goes begging. A play and miss at the final ball from Root, driving airily outside off and being beaten by the late away swing.
66th over: England 275-4 (Root 125, Wood 2) It’ll be Johnson to begin with, on a slightly breezy, slightly overcast morning at Trent Bridge. “An ordinary day for Australia,” is Shane Warne’s opinion on yesterday. Imagine what a bad day must look like! Root looks to push a wide bumper down to the unguarded third man region, but is foiled by a good diving stop at gully by Smarsh. An inside edge just past the stumps to square leg gets the first run of the morning, before Wood keeps out a full inswinger comfortably.
Before we get underway in a moment, happy birthday for yesterday to Malcolm Conn. Hope he had a good one.
And Paul Foley has a question. “Getting ahead of the game a touch but I wonder have there been any occasions where a night watchman gets more runs than an entire opposition’s innings?”
Yesterday’s hero was not Joe Root, nor Stuart Broad. At least according to Robert Wilson:
“Dear Dan, “I’m not even faintly Australian and I know he will never be troubling the Nobel Committee but I thought David Warner was immense yesterday. After his dismissal, he was straight out onto that balcony with his Clint Eastwood face on, invitiing and defying the camera’s scrutiny. When fielding, he attacked the ball like it had insulted his mother. He bowled the world’s highest, silliest bouncer and sledged it up loads while bowling at 70mph. “Yes, the fake accidental shoulder-bump is the toddler’s version of machismo. But how mature can machismo ever be? And what purpose does mongrel defiance serve in such purposes? What can it matter in the midst of such humiliation? Well, I can’t help feeling that when it is all that is left to you, it matters very much. He stood right up to it. And he ended up looking like the least humiliated guy in the ground. “He gained an admirer.”
Some more emails. The first comes from super smart Ian Copestake: “My background reading on the context of Adorno’s writing of “The Dialectic of Enlightenment” is having to come to a halt because of the greater importance of watching England not relinguish their throat hold on the Aussies. So as Adorno might have said ‘las uns dieses Schiesse machen’ [let’s do this].”
“Is your Granddad really called Alan Partridge?” Yes, Charles Horwood, he is. “That is excellent. I remember the BBC did a piece once about a guy in Scotland called Donald Duck who was named before the cartoon existed. He was a doctor and said one of his patients was nearly sectioned after insisting his GP was Donald Duck.”
With 20 minutes to go, why not enjoy this unaired 1986 episode of The Office, starring Sir Ian Botham? My personal favourite bit is where, four seconds in, he responds to a question about sexism with “look love”.
“So, Trent Bridge, first day, no Jimmy - this is going to be tough, isn’t it? By the way, I had a great dream last night...”
You’ve been having my dreams, Paul Mitchell. Get out of my head!
OBOs in history: this from Rob Smyth, 10 years ago today.
Now, I understand that with our Australian readers, we should be objective, even with the giddiness of yesterday. But what good is there to say about Australia yesterday? They scored their 60 runs at a decent enough rate and played positive, bad cricket? I was in the pub talking to people about whether we could find parallels between this match and any other in the Ashes and we were struggling to think of any – even Melbourne 2010. Is this going to be England’s best ever win? What can Australia, realistically do to salvage pride, if not the match?
“Can you make sure th Guardian produces the inevitable 60 t-shirt so I can buy one for my son who’s flying to Oz in 10 days time?” asks Cliff Challenger, who either stole my pseudonym or has the best name of anyone who isn’t my granddad (Alan Partridge, since you didn’t ask).
“Morning Dan.” Morning, Jonathan Day. “Apropos of nothing I took it upon myself to find a Bible passage relevant to yesterday’s magnificent events, with Chapter and Verse corresponding to Broady’s figures. Accordingly I give you Isaiah Chapter 8, Verse 15: “And many among them shall stumble, and fall, and be broken, and be snared, and be taken.” Which happily sums up the Aussie innings rather well.”
Morning folks. Some great news from yesterday: Larry David has a notebook full of ideas for a ninth season of Curb Your Enthusiasm! Personally I couldn’t be happier, one of the funniest sitcoms ever making a return, it puts me in the mood to revisit the classics. Palestinian Chicken, The Doll, The Table Read – there are few funnier half hours of TV than these. It’s not just Larry, the social assassin either, but the supporting characters: Jeff and Susie, Marty Funkhouser, Ted Danson …
OK, I’m filling space, but that’s because this Test match, and indeed this series, are done. With good weather forecast for the remaining four days, Australia are already 214 runs behind, England have six wickets in hand and Moeen Ali is due to come in at number bloody nine. Never in Ashes history have Australia overturned such a first-innings deficit and this is not a classic Australian batting line-up. They are cooked.
Mark Wood took the final wicket as England routed Australia by an innings and 78 runs to win the Ashes with a game to spare.
A nice postscript: Joe Root is now officially the world’s best batsman, the first England player to reach No1 since Michael Vaughan after his Ashes mirabilis in 2002-03. Bye!
England have won the Ashes. There’s your postamble!
Mark Wood: “Absolutely phenomenal. I was just blown away with emotion, I was still shaking half an hour after we won. The scenes in the dressing-room are great. It’s not so good being a teetotaler! I don’t remember the final wicket to be fair. I never thought even a year ago that I’d be playing in an Ashes wicket, never mind taking the winning wicket. I’ll remember it forever.” And with that, he walks straight over to give him Mum a bit hug. He is such an infectious character. “It’s probably a good thing he doesn’t drink,” says Beefy, “because I dread to think what he’d be like with a few pints inside him.”
Trevor Bayliss: “It was hairs-on-the-back-of-the-neck-standing-up stuff. No mixed emotions. I’m not going to gloat, I know a lot of them very well, but the feeling amongst our guys is fantastic. Australia are a very good team and that’s why the England boys should be very proud of their performance. I couldn’t have imagined it would turn out like this, but the win at Cardiff gave the boys so much confidence.
“There were a few nerves at the start, but enough ability that they could see past that. If they concentrate on what they’re doing, they’re going to be very difficult to beat. At Lord’s we got away from playing our game, and it was just a case of not worrying what the opposition were doing and concentrating on our individual gameplans. In the last two matches we have done that perfectly. There were no harsh words after Lord’s, but we spoke about some realities and the team were very honest about what needed to be done.
Joe Root is wearing a rubbery old-man mask, doing a hilariously bad impersonation of Bob Willis. “Wellll I’d give England 4/10. It wasn’t a patch on myyyy day was it?” Now he has his mask off and is being soaked by Ben Stokes. “I’ve felt pretty good in the middle,” he says, wiping champagne out of his eyes. The great thing about this team is that everyone’s chipped in. I’m sure it’ll be an entertaining evening. I can’t wait for that and then to crack on at the Oval.”
Joe Root was 50/1 to win Sports Personality of the Year at the start of the series. I thought about it and then I decided to have a freelancer’s nap instead. Ach!
Ian Bell, who has won the Ashes for the fifth time: “This one is right up there. The bowlers set the tone from ball one in the last two Tests, and made it a lot easier for us as a batting unit. This is as good a dressing-room as I’ve been involved in. The way we reacted after Lord’s was exactly what we needed to do. There was a real calmness. Edgbaston was a big Test for me; it’s nice to still be here at Trent Bridge! The team performance has been incredible.”
“I have no particular problem with Michael Clarke, but I do think taking out the opposition captain is the sign of a really crushing series win,” says Tom Hopkins. “I have in mind Graeme Smith’s habit of laying waste to multiple England skippers.”
Yeah. It was so important at the start of the series that England took down at least one senior player as soon as possible. You could never have imagined they would taken down so many.
The Man of the Match is Stuart Broad, who has now produced three Ashes-winning spells in consecutive home series. I can’t remember the last time someone did that. “Cooky will tell you: I wanted to bat! It was a good toss to win, there was green grass on the pitch, but we got our lengths right and the catching was spectacular. A lot of credit has to go to our batsmen in this series; we’ve played on wickets that have done a bit and they have put scores on the board. Our last four innings, four different guys have got five-fors, so that shows how we’ve dovetailed as a bowling unit.
“That’s the best I’ve ever seen Ben Stokes bowl. He had the ball on a piece of string. What an exciting future he’s got. It was awesome to watch. Having an all-rounder gives you the luxury of bowling short spells, which is important on wickets that do a bit. The balance of the attack has been awesome - it’s the first time we’ve settled into a five-man attack since Freddie was around.
Alastair Cook: “To Michael, from the England cricket team: you should be remembered as a great cricket and a fantastic cricketer, so congratulations ... I can’t believe what we’ve achieved over the last 18 months ...” Now Cook is welling up! “When you lose 5-0 a new side develops pretty quickly, and I think you’ve seen the amount of talent in the country. It takes a little bit of time but we saw the potential, and Ben Stokes in that second innings was fantastic. Joe Root, Jos Buttler, Moeen Ali, they have all done incredibly well and driven this side forward. I’m also very lucky to have a group of senior players: Broady, 8-15, almost guarantees you the Test match. Jimmy, Belly, the support I’ve had from them means a lot.
“The amount of work Peter Moores did was so important. Trevor has come in and taken that forward again. Today is not about me, or me getting emotional, it’s a group of players who have taken that journey - I know it’s a horrible word - through so many tough times. That’s the moment you play for, when Woody gets that last wicket.
“As it’s unlikely that the Australians will be tempted to do a book on this tour maybe the OBO could?” says John Starbuck. “If so, the title might well be on the LWLWLW theme and subtitled Antipodeans on the England tour, including the women’s games, the New Zealanders and all the short-form matches too. It might not be entirely OBO lists, as in some cases an extended essay would be better.”
Michael Clarke: “Our goal was to come here and try to have some success. Alastair Cook and the England team have shown us how to play in these conditions. It wasn’t for the lack of trying, but we’ve been beaten by a better team. England, when they’ve had momentum, have grabbed it with both hands. They showed their class in this Test match. Was it a tour too far for some players? Maybe for the captain. I’ll always hold myself accountable. My performances have been nowhere near the level they should be. I don’t blame anyone in that dressing-room, they have all worked hard. Was it a difficult decision? Not when you perform as I have in this series. I think it’s the right time to walk away to give the next captain the chance to prepare for the next Ashes.
“I’ve been very lucky to play over 100 Tests. I was lucky that when I first came into the team I had 10 or 11 older brothers who helped me to grow and learn....” Clarke tails off as a lump swells in his throat ... “I’m sick of crying on television, I know that! There’s that much talent in the changing-room, they will be fine, I know that.”
It’s not even Saturday lunchtime, it’s not even the fifth Test, and England have the Ashes. Crikey. Here comes Michael Clarke.
There’s nothing in sport to compare with the joy of seeing a young team succeed. Root, Stokes and Buttler are 24, Bairstow and Wood 25, Finn is 26. It’s that, along with Cook’s redemption, that will define this Ashes series.
It would be daft to say they are going to rule the world; we’ve made that mistake before. But with their talent and - just as important - their personality, we are going to have so much fun watching them in the next few years.
Michael Clarke:“England showed us how to execute swing and seam bowling throughout this series. We were outplayed, no doubt about it. I’ll have one more Test and I’m retiring from international cricket. The time’s right. It’s always a tough decision, but my performances over the last 12 months have not been acceptable to me. And you build yourself up to the big series - the World Cup and the Ashes. I tried my best, the boys tried their best, but we were well beaten. Now it’s time for the next generation.”
While everyone else quaffs beer on the balcony, Mark Wood has a bottle of still water in his hand. I think I might be dangerously obsessed with Mark Wood. Ian Botham is revelling in the fact he predicted an England win. The fact he has predicted an England win for the last 48 Ashes is neither here nor there.
Hic! The England players have cracked the beers open in the dressing-room. Sky’s Ian Ward has just been drowned in champagne by Joe Root and Jimmy Anderson. Ottis Gibson has a half-empty bottle of rum in his hand. This is wonderful stuff. Imagine how good they must feel right now. “I shouldn’t be laughing because it’s hurting my side,” says Jimmy as he embraces Ian Ward.
Thanks to my colleague Niall McVeigh for this gem.
Alastair Cook thinks his current KP-less England team will regain the Ashes this summer. In other news, I will be elected Pope in August.
Mark Wood, daft as a brush, is now taking his imaginary horse for a walk round the outfield. Here’s Paul Farbrace: “It’s unbelievable isn’t it? Every session seems to have been a rollercoaster. So please for the lads because we took a real hit after Lord’s, and to bounce back as they have is absolutely outstanding. I’m so pleased for Cooky; he’s been through the wringer the last couple of hours, and this morning he was a bit stressed, but to finish it that way was great. None of us could have dreamed that we would win with a game to spare. The satisfaction that we get from watching the boys celebrate is just out of this world. It’s about the players, they deserve all the credit they’re getting.”
The media don’t always lie. Reports of Michael Clarke’s retirement were not remotely exaggerated; the final Test at the Oval will be his last. At the same time, England are posing for a team photo, smiles so broad that they’re in danger of splitting their mouths. Cricket, lovely, cruel cricket.
I was trying to think of the last team an Ashes victory was so unexpected. You could make a case for 1986-87, 1989, 2005, 2009 and 2013-14, but I reckon this tops those. You might even have to go back to 1958-59.
The England team are doing a lap of honour. Cook hugs Anderson. It’s so good that he is with the team today. It is so hard for top-class sportsman to achieve something great with your team, then suffer a comedown as the team breaks up, then go again with a new team in the twilight of their career. Anderson and especially Broad have managed that with some exceptional bowling in this series.
ICYMI: ENGLAND HAVE WON THE ASHES! Trevor Bayliss and Paul Farbrace are straight into their celebrations. Bayliss is quaffing what looks like Ribena, Farbrace what looks like orange squash.
Alastair Cook:“Unbelievable. Unbelievable moment. I couldn’t be happier. From what we’ve been through in the last 18 months, to play like this, is incredible. I’m so proud of this young team, to take this opportunity, even without Jimmy ... We need to thank Peter Moores as well. A lot of the guys made huge developments under him, and you saw a lot of it in this series. Trevor has come in and done a fantastic job as well with Paul Farbrace. This is for you Peter.
Ben Stokes:“Phwoar, we’ve won the Ashes with one game to go, it’s absolutely surreal. From where I was last time in Australia to be an Ashes-winner it’s absolutely amazing. The crowd here ... it’s been electric ... That’s the best I’ve bowled in an England shirt. Everyone has put their hand up at some stage in the series.
The Aussies are on the field, shaking hands with the England players. Now Sky are repeating the celebrations, with the England team getting straight into a huddle when the last wicket fell. What a feeling, especially for all the youngsters, and of course for Cook.
Mark Wood finishes it off, bowling Nathan Lyon via the inside edge, to prompt a lusty, joyous roar all around Trent Bridge. You don’t always get to say this but, jeez, it feels good to be English. Alastair Cook looks relatively emotional as he takes it all in. Ben Stokes has a stump, Jimmy Anderson is beaming on the balcony, demonstrating some impeccably white teeth. England have routed Australia twice in 10 days to pull off the most unexpected Ashes victory in decades.
72nd over: Australia 248-9 (Voges 50, Lyon 0) Lyon ignores a series of wider deliveries from Stokes, who waves his cap angrily at the end of the over, frustrated that he didn’t make Lyon play more.
71st over: Australia 248-9 (Voges 50, Lyon 0) Mark Wood spears four byes down the leg side, trying for the glory ball. If you can’t try for the glory ball, when can you. He is daft as a brush, Wood, in the most affectionate sense of the phrase.
“This isn’t just a time for Australia to be looking forward, but also England,” says Ben Hendy. “There have been a few mid-order collapses on our side of the scorecard in this and recent series. There are question marks hovering specifically over Lyth and Bell, with Bairstow only recently installed at 5. I don’t even know what I think about remodelling the top half, but where do you stand? And if they’re all fit, who plays out of Anderson, Broad, Wood and Finn (assuming Stokes is taking the all-rounder position regardless so isn’t part of that question)?”
70th over: Australia 244-9 (Voges 50, Lyon 0) Voges plays tip-and-run to reach an excellent fifty in trying circumstances, one that has surely bought him at least one more Test. Lyon is beaten by a monstrous inswinger from Stokes, who has figures of 20-7-36-6.
“That was a pretty painful innings to watch,” says Tom Hopkins. “To expand on Warner’s comment, Hazelwood looked like every ball was the first he’d ever faced in his life.” Haha, that’s a great line, which I’d be tempted to nick had I not just published it under your name. Ach!
69th over: Australia 243-8 (Voges 48, Lyon 0) “Yesssssssss” roared Wood after the ball thumped into middle stump. The net hero has been such a good addition to this England side, and that was perfect bowling to a tailender.It was the last ball of the over, so Stokes gets first crack at the Ashes-winning wicket.
“On the ranking of recent Ashes victories I would have to say this one feels by far the best,” says Daniel Jeffreys. “After the 0-5 demolition in 2013/2014, my Australian colleagues confidently predicted that England would not win the Ashes again for a generation or two. Seeing their faces during the 60-all-out debacle was like watching Wile E Coyote run off cliffs in pursuit of the Road Runner. One minute they were smug with anticipation, confident that Edgbaston had been a fluke, that Lords was the true state of play between the teams. And suddenly, with nothing but air and humiliation beneath their feet, their faces had that priceless “Oh my God, this is going to hurt” expression. 2005 was more of a cricketing miracle but 2015 has been schadenfreude at its delicious best.”
There are more false strokes than, er, non-false strokes at the moment. Batting would be fiendishly difficult for Bradman and Smyth, never mind Hazlewood and Voges, such is the amount of movement. And there you go! Hazlewood is cleaned up by a glorious inswinging yorker from Mark Wood! England are one wicket away from a wonderful victory.
68th over: Australia 242-8 (Voges 48, Hazlewood 0) Despite bowling very well at times, Stokes had taken only nine wickets in eight-and-a-half Tests since his recall in the Caribbean. Now he has six in an innings. This thing of ours never ceases to fascinate. Stokes is hooping it both ways and beats Hazlewood both on the inside and the outside. He isn’t just making the ball talk; he’s getting it to recite Shakespeare. Another maiden.
Great tweet, this.
In Australia's last four innings: Anderson 6-47, Finn 6-79, Broad 8-15, Stokes 6-35*.... #Teameffort#Ashes2015
67th over: Australia 242-8 (Voges 48, Hazlewood 0) Wood swerves a peach past Voges’s outside edge. How can you not love Mark Wood? Another maiden.
“I’m in need of an outdoor big screen in central London to watch the last of the match and catch some sun,” says Ben Reilly. “Any chance of asking the OBO faithful for advice?” Is it on at Regent’s Park? In truth, I’d just concentrate on getting some sun - by the time you reach your destination, this will be over.
66th over: Australia 242-8 (Voges 48, Hazlewood 0) Stokes was just too good for Starc, moving it both ways and eventually drawing an indeterminate push outside off. There is a whiff of 2005 about the way England’s pace attack have relentlessly harassed the Australian batsmen, with the obvious exception of Lord’s. That line from Warner - “every ball felt like my first ball” - sums it up really.
“Controversially, I’d put 2010-11 above 2005 as an England victory,” says Tony Brennan. “2005 was, of course, the ultimate test series, but as a win I think 2010-11 edges it. We were more dominant, and it was in Australia. A series win tucked between two 5-0 losses - that’s pretty extraordinary.”
The ball is doing plenty, and Starc is beaten by a ludicrous jaffa from Stokes. The early signs are that this shouldn’t take long. And there’s the first wicket! Starc fences outside off and is taken easily by Bell at second slip. Stokes has six for 35!
65th over: Australia 242-7 (Voges 48, Starc 0)
Hmmm now told any Michael Clarke confirmation more likely post play. Will speak to Channel 9 (his future employer, one would wager)
64th over: Australia 242-7 (Voges 48, Starc 0) Ben Stokes starts at the other end. He was overdue a five-for after all the bad luck he has had with the ball in the last few months; in fact he was overdue a wicket, never mind five of them. A quiet first over, but with some encouraging swing, is a maiden to Starc.
“Would concur with your ranking,” says Phil Rhodes. “2005 has not just daylight but light years, ice ages and any other extravagant time frame measure between that and 2010/11. I’m wondering if this year isn’t close to 2010/11 due to concerns before hand but lack of Ryan Harris prevents that. It could be said his career ending injury has won the Ashes for us. Can you imagine him bowling on this wicket and that one at Edgbaston. Must be said though that wasn’t a smart move to rely on such an injury prone bowler. Exactly the type of thing England kept doing on all those barren tours down under...”
63rd over: Australia 242-7 (Voges 48, Starc 0) There are four balls of Mark Wood’s 13th over remaining from last night. How nice it would be if Mark Wood, cult hero and adorable clown, took the Ashes-winning wicket. Mind you, that applies equally to Ben Stokes, Stuart Broad and Steven Finn. When you win the Ashes, every story is a good story. There’s some early, orthodox swing for Wood, even with a ball that is 63 overs old, and just a leg-bye from those four deliveries.
Update: Who/what is Simon McMahon? “I’m certainly a guy, and in my mind I’m of average build, a ruggedly handsome, fit 40 something, when in reality I’m like that bloke who was wearing the Beefy T-shirt the other day.” I thought Giant Haystacks passed away in 1998?
David Warner is being interviewed, and has just come up with a great line about the conditions and how well England have bowled. “It’s the first time in my career that I felt like I was facing my first ball every ball.”
“Morning Rob, morning everyone,” says Sarah Morriss. “What a time to be alive. I’m veering between impatience and butterflies. My boss, who’s a good bloke, is at Trent Bridge today so it’d be nice if he got to see *some* play. However, I couldn’t take the spare ticket so screw ‘im.”
In 2015, nothing really counts until it has been ranked. So where do we put this among England’s recent Ashes victories? I’d probably say 2005, daylight, 2010-11, 2015, 2009 and 2013. Any thoughts?
Concentrate hard though Eng. Ideal finish for me would be c Cook b Broad.
The Australian newspaper running that Michael Clarke has been told ‘there’s no place for him in the team’ & he will retire after the Oval
On Sky, Mike Atherton has been drawing a parallel between this and the 2013-14 series: two excellent, ageing teams who wrongly thought they had one last tour left in them. It’s a great point. Just as England lost Trott, Pietersen, Prior and Swann in the last Ashes, so Australia have lost Haddin, Harris, Watson and Clarke this time. Those four have over 260 caps between them. Even youngsters who were seen as bankers – Root then, Hazlewood now – were undermined. This thing of ours is a wonderful and cruel thing.
“Morning Rob,” chirps Simon McMahon. “So, it’s 99.94% certain that England will regain the Ashes today. And yet. And yet ... It was also seemingly certain that Bradman would finish his career with a Test average of over 100. And that after Trent Bridge in 1993 Martin McCague would take 500 Test wickets. Ach, stuff it. There’s more chance of the Central African Republic winning the next World Cup than there is of England not winning today. Right? RIGHT?”
Come and sit on the couch, big guy, and give me a hug. It’s going to be okay.
This is sad but increasingly inevitable news. He has been worn down by his back and now his team’s lack of spine, not to mention the unimaginable trauma of Philip Hughes’s death. It’s hard to know how history will judge Michael Clarke – both around the world and in Australia. He touched greatness with the bat, most obviously during an astonishing 2012, and has been a brilliant captain don’t mention the F-word don’t mention the F-word who, at his best, reads games like he has written them. At his best, with the bat or in the field, he was an outstanding advert for instinct. But there has also been a strong sense that Australia didn’t quite trust him for a long time; that he was – heaven forbid – a bit metrosexual. Having never met him, it’s impossible to say whether that’s fair, or whether he uses hair products. All in all, he’s had a unique career, and a largely brilliant one.
Michael Clarke to retire from Test cricket say reports in Australia (from England)
September 12, 2005. August 23, 2009. December 29, 2010. August 5, 2013. August 8, 2015. These are the dates on which England have regained or retained the Ashes in the last 25 years. Forget all that real-life stuff like childbirth, weddings and the first time you practised the physical act of love; these are the dates of our lives. The Ashes-winning days.
Admittedly I had to look up the precise dates up for 2009, 2013 and even 2015 –and 2013 was a bit of a damp squib for a variety of reasons – but the point remains: for those who received the questionable gift of caring about the England cricket team early in life, today will be taking out a lease in the memory bank.
Steve Smith and David Warner piled on the runs as Australia took control on the opening day at the Oval
Right, that’s it from me. Stick around on site for all the reports and reaction. And join us again tomorrow for day two. But from me, cheerio!
Australia 285-3. Australia’s day then, but it has been a decent battle between bat and ball.
79.4 overs: Australia 285-3 (Smith 78, Voges 47) The final over before the new ball and Steven Finn will bowl it. A leg bye brings up the 100 partnership – the first Australian century partnership in this series, fact fans, that has not involved Chris Rogers.
Oh, and out of nowhere, that’s that for the day. The light isn’t great but it hasn’t deteriorated that much over the last 10 minutes or so. Hmph.
79th over: Australia 285-3 (Smith 78, Voges 47) Stokes continues despite those shoulder stretches. He keeps things tight then looks to trouble Voges with a short one that the batsman pulls just wide of the man at square leg.
Further dark clouds gather near the Oval and plot precipitation.
78th over: Australia 280-3 (Smith 77, Voges 43) Stokes is just stretching his shoulder a little after that over. He has remained on the field, though, so you’d imagine it’s nothing too serious. Finn beats Voges’ outside edge for the umpteenth time and then clips a full one to cow corner for four.
77th over: Australia 275-3 (Smith 76, Voges 39) Ben Stokes returns to the England attack as Cook ponders his options with the new ball. He sends down a maiden at Voges.
76th over: Australia 275-3 (Smith 76, Voges 39) Another edge – Voges straightened up by an effort ball from Finn – flies into glorious green space behind the batsman, this time in the gully region.
75th over: Australia 272-3 (Smith 76, Voges 36) A superb stop from Joe Root at backward point as Smith slashes hard at a wide one from Wood denies Australia a boundary. So just a leg bye to the total.
74th over: Australia 271-3 (Smith 76, Voges 36) Voges pushes a single past the man at gully. Finn responds with a full one – almost yorker length – that Smith attempts to blast out of the ground, over Surrey, out over the channel, and into the soup of a surprised diner at a Paris street cafe. Instead he finds the edge and the ball zips low at Bell, pitching yard or two short and rattling away to the fence.
73rd over: Australia 264-3 (Smith 71, Voges 35) A maiden – a bit of a rarity – from Wood at Smith.
72nd over: Australia 264-3 (Smith 71, Voges 35) There’s a decent-sized appeal – a Uranus in the solar system of appeals – as Finn smites Smith on the pad. It looks to be going down leg to me, and Aleem Dar is unmoved. England opt to review, though … and indeed it is missing leg stump by an inch or two. Voges celebrates with a tidy flick fine for four. Next up, Finn finds the edge but Voges plays with soft enough hands to send the ball bobbling low through the slips for four more.
71st over: Australia 255-3 (Smith 71, Voges 27) Wood has one ball remaining in his over … and it’s left alone outside off by Voges.
The players are back out. We can go on to 6.56pm BST, so there’s more than an hour of play available.
The sun is out and the restart has been set for 5.50pm BST.
I think it’s just a squally shower but, in the interests of full disclosure, I should point out that I’m NOT a trained meteorologist.
70.5 over: Australia 255-3 (Smith 71, Voges 27) The sky over London now is leaden. I’ve not seen a grey that threatening since watching the Fifty Shades film. And the rain arrives. Off they go.
70th over: Australia 254-3 (Smith 70, Voges 27) A bit of extra bounce from Broad sees Voges’ fingers jammed against the bat handle. He recovers well enough to tickle four to fine leg from the final ball of the over. And that’s drinks.
69th over: Australia 249-3 (Smith 69, Voges 23) Wood once more. He cuts Voges in half with one that jags back from outside off with the viciousness of a jam-crazed wasp.
“Re Bairstow’s bits. Presumably your inbox is flooded with emails about the … er … hardness of Yorkshiremen?” Oh, Dale Sellers how could you?
68th over: Australia 248-3 (Smith 68, Voges 23) Stuart Broad is into the attack for the first time in this evening session. He overpitches on middle-and-leg and Voges tucks in with relish, guiding all along the ground to cow corner for four. Just a little rain in the air now.
67th over: Australia 242-3 (Smith 67, Voges 18) Here’s a screengrab of that lucky escape for Bairstow:
66th over: Australia 237-3 (Smith 63, Voges 18) Seven off the first four balls of Moeen’s latest in one and twos, and from the last there probably should be four more as the bowler drags one short. Voges pulls hard … straight into Bairstow’s crotch at short leg. He must’ve had some serious protection down there because that could’ve been exceptionally nasty. Instead the Yorkshire man is up and smiling (perhaps mostly in relief).
65th over: Australia 230-3 (Smith 62, Voges 12) Mark Wood returns and he immediately has Voges in trouble, first beating the outside edge then finding a leading one. Voges survives on each occasion. And later in the over Wood has his man in trouble once more, beating the inside edge and thwocking the pad. A very fine maiden.
64th over: Australia 230-3 (Smith 62, Voges 12) Smith strikes the first ball of Moeen’s next over for four – it’s a slightly squirty effort to third man but four runs none the less. This pair have got their collective foot on the gas.
63rd over: Australia 224-3 (Smith 57, Voges 11) Adam Voges gets in on the act with a couple of back-to-back boundaries, both whacked through the offside. The second was off what looked to be a botched slower ball from Stokes that ended up as a full toss.
62nd over: Australia 216-3 (Smith 57, Voges 3) Buttler charges towards Moeen in celebration as the ball loops up into the hands of Bairstow at short leg. It missed the bat by about a foot. From the penultimate ball of the over, Smith calmly strides down the ptich and plonks the ball into the stands at long on. Six!
61st over: Australia 210-3 (Smith 51, Voges 3) Steve Smith goes to his half-century by thunking a Stokes full toss through the covers for four. He was streaky as a twin-pack of unsmoked Danish early on but he’s settled down into something much more Steve Smith 2014-15 than Steve Smith 2010-11.
60th over: Australia 205-3 (Smith 46, Voges 3) Moeen Ali returns to the attack. He did for David Warner earlier, but unusually not due to the sort of shot that, had the Australia opener connected correctly, would’ve sent the ball flying into the London sky, out over Wiltshire, high over the Atlantic and landing on a confused pigeon in downtown Caracas, but to a nibble outside off to one that turned.
There is a touch of turn here but he can’t find it with his first delivery – overpitched and smashed through the covers as it is by Steve Smith – but the rest are given the opportunity. Voges cautiously plays from his crease.
59th over: Australia 200-3 (Smith 41, Voges 3) Stokes again worries Voges outside off, this time the Australia No5 nudges down and into the slip cordon. But h survives another testing over.
58th over: Australia 200-3 (Smith 41, Voges 3) Finn offers Smith a little too much width and the FAC guides neatly through point for four runs that take Australia to the 200 mark.
57th over: Australia 194-3 (Smith 35, Voges 3) There’s a yelp of an appeal as Voges shoulders arms outside off and is surprised to find the ball swerving stumpwards. It’s going well over the top but this has been another fine spell from Stokes.
56th over: Australia 192-3 (Smith 34, Voges 2) You don’t get much razzamatazz from Adam Voges but you do get stubbornness and, when he’s on his game, an awful lot of stickability. You’d imagine he’s playing for his Test place to some extent here after a pretty dismal series.
Finn almost does for Smith here, but an edgy cut flashes past Root in a strange short-gully position and rattles away for four over turf as green and smooth as the skin of a watermelon.
55th over: Australia 187-3 (Smith 30, Voges 1) It wasn’t the greatest shot of Clarke’s career but it was another fine ball from Stokes, who over the past two Tests has taken a real step forward in his bowling. Voges gets off the mark with a single to square leg.
Stokes has Clarke driving airily outside off and making no contact. And a couple of balls later he has his man. Or does he? The finger goes up as Clarke feathers an edge through to Buttler. After a long pause the Australia captain reviews. There’s nothing on HotSpot but a tiny spike on Snicko – decision stands and Clarke has to walk.
54th over: Australia 185-2 (Smith 30, Clarke 14) Off we go again then. Steven Finn rumbles in once more. Clarke fends then flicks a single to fine leg.
Speaking of rain … It’s still grey at the Oval as it has been all day, but there is a little – and I mean little – band of the wet stuff approaching the area from the west. I doubt it’ll cause a break in play but you never know.
What? No, no, no. I’m not crying. It’s just been raining on my face.
So anyway, it looks at this point as if this match will at least have a proper Day Three, and maybe even a Four or Five. But you never know. I’ll hand you back now to John Ashdown, who’ll see you expertly through to the close. Thanks for your company, emails and tweets. Bye.
53rd over: Australia 184-2 (Smith 29, Clarke 14). Broad bowls the last over before the interval. Clarke nudges him off his hips for a single, then Smith does his swivel-pull thing for another, as Broad struggles to build the kind of pressure he’s managed so brilliantly at other points this summer. It’s tea, and Australia will be the happier side.
52nd over: Australia 182-2 (Smith 28, Clarke 13). Wood’s turn to go short this time, but it’s nothing Smith can’t duck underneath without too much bother. Another back of a length ball is pulled to Bairstow at deep square leg for a single. Clarke pushes for one more. Bumble’s off on a strange riff in the commentary box, comparing various London landmarks visible from the blimp-camera to far-flung destinations (The Shard = Dubai; Crystal Palace = Paris; Hammersmith Bridge = Sydney). This could have legs. Or perhaps not.
51st over: Australia 180-2 (Smith 27, Clarke 12). Clarke tucks Broad away off his pads for a couple, and gets a dabbed three through the slips, showing good hands. Clarke thus far looks untroubled. Smith gets another single with a controlled pull through midwicket, before Broad finally does test Clarke with a short ball that the captain pulls himself away from.
50th over: Australia 174-2 (Smith 26, Clarke 7). Ali is indeed withdrawn from the attack, in favour of Wood. Smith is watchful throughout a maiden that contains much of the pace and carry of Wood’s earlier spells but not quite the devilishness.
49th over: Australia 174-2 (Smith 26, Clarke 7). There’s a bowling change at the Pavilion End in any case, Broad back in the attack now Clarke’s out in the middle. Smith pulls across the line for a single in that gauche but effective way of his to put the captain on strike. Broad tests him with a couple that show some considerable in-swing, the second of which hits him just above the pads, but Clarke survives.
48th over: Australia 173-2 (Smith 25, Clarke 7). The sub fielder Will Gidman is on for Mark Wood as Ali continues at the Vauxhall End. He finds some decent turn and bounce into Smith’s pads but this pair know how to play spin as well as anyone, and Smith gets forward confidently to drive to mid-on and take a single. Clarke gets even cockier, lofting Ali over the top for a one-bounce four. Ali comes back at him well with a couple of decent tighter balls, but one wonders whether we might see a bowling change at that end sooner rather than later.
47th over: Australia 168-2 (Smith 24, Clarke 3). Noting my century-prediction for Warner a couple of overs ago, Dale Sellers emails in to say “Top jinxing my friend”, presumably cackling manically while doing so. Smith adds a single to bring Clarke on strike to face Finn, who pushes one too far into the Australia captain’s pads and concedes two leg byes as the ball is ricocheted down to fine leg. The outfield, by the way, is so lush it looks like something from a computer game: completely unscuffed and unscorched. Not the August Oval surface we know and love.
46th over: Australia 165-2 (Smith 23, Clarke 3). Ali gets Warner again! The off-spinner finds just enough turn to fox Warner and find his edge, and Lyth holds a sharp chance at slip. So that hundred eludes Warner again. Now here comes Michael Clarke, to a guard of honour and generous applause from the crowd. All a bit sentimental I know, but I do still love that cricket does stuff like this. I also love that Clarke almost went first ball, flicking one off his pads straight to Ian Bell, who almost runs him out with a sharp toss back to the keeper but it doesn’t quite have the power to reach Buttler in time. He’s then off the mark with three. Smith adds a single to complete a pleasingly eventful over.
45th over: Australia 161-1 (Warner 85, Smith 22). Finn does well to dive low on his follow through to cut off Smith’s fierce straight drive. He can do nothing when Smith pretty much repeats the shot though, sending a textbook cover drive zipping to the boundary for four. Singles for each batsman follow as understandable expectations that the first Australia wicket might have sparked another quickfire collapse are now firmly dashed. These two have already added 51.
44th over: Australia 153-1 (Warner 84, Smith 15). Ali is back into the attack, and Warner nonchalantly flays his first ball between two offside fielders. A beautifully placed cover drive. A first hundred of the series is in reach for the opener now.
News from elsewhere: it’s been India’s day on the first day of the great Kumar Sangakkara’s final Test, India reaching 319-6 against Sri Lanka in Colombo
43rd over: Australia 148-1 (Warner 80, Smith 15). A rare loose shot from Warner, inside-edging Finn behind square on the legside for a single. Smith’s playing rather more loose shots though, as he demonstrates with a downright weird play and miss, trying to turn the ball to leg and twisting himself into such an awkward position that he gets nowhere near the ball. What an unusual player he is. A dabbed two completes the scoring from this over.
42nd over: Australia 144-1 (Warner 79, Smith 11). Warner slightly mistimes a hook from a short ball from Stokes, but it lands harmlessly behind square leg and brings one. Smith drives to mid-on for another single before bye off a rather awry ball sprayed down the legside completes the over.
“Any chance of a plug for the U19 T20 berkshire finals Boyne Hill CC (Maidenhead) are hosting Sunday? Ashes will be shown on TV in the bar,” writes Matthew Valentine. There’s every chance, I’d have thought, Matthew.
41st over: Australia 141-1 (Warner 78, Smith 10) Afternoon again everyone. Smith – who’ll probably go on to get a hundred now his technical failings have been so exhaustively picked over in the Sky commentary box - inside-edges unconvincingly to fine leg for a single. Warner, by contrast, is on top of his game and picks up four more with nothing more than a front-foot push down the ground. A scurried one follows when Stokes shies a little too hastily at the stumps from backward point and they nick a single with the overthrow.
40th over: Australia 135-1 (Smith 9, Warner 73) Smith’s uncertainty is almost his downfall, with Stokes finding an inside edge and the ball whistling past the stumps and down to the boundary. And with that Tom Davies is to return to see you through to tea.
39th over: Australia 129-1 (Smith 5, Warner 73) Just a single for a slighty uncertain Smith off Finn’s latest.
Here’s a bit of a charity plug from Nicola Davies:
What started in 2013 as a project to design and sell an aesthetically pleasing diagram to show where the fielding positions are on a cricket pitch, in order to raise awareness of Time to Change (the campaign to challenge mental health discrimination) is still going strong! Thanks to mentions on over-by-over I’ve fulfilled my objective of selling a poster to someone who isn’t my dad, and have even expanded my range to include a variety of crickety t-shirts, badges and cards. I’ve created bespoke pieces to auction at an event to mark Mike Yardy’s benefit year and at Sussex CCC’s first ever LGBT cricket festival, and am continuing to donate 10% of all online sales to my local Mind.
But possibly the greatest thing I’ve done for humanity is to design the attached homage to the devastation at Trent Bridge a couple of weeks ago. I’m giving it away as a free postcard with every order placed on my site, in a bid to prohibit any Australians to forget about their team’s dismal annihilation at the hands of Stuart Broad and co on that fateful day in Nottingham …
38th over: Australia 129-1 (Smith 4, Warner 73) And it’s a double change once more – Ben Stokes on for Mark Wood. It’s a bit of a mixed bag, with a couple bunged down the leg side, the last of which comes off Warner’s pad and the batsmen pick up a couple more leg byes.
37th over: Australia 127-1 (Smith 4, Warner 73) The first bowling change since lunch – Steven Finn replaces Stuart Broad. Warner punches economically through the covers for three and Smith misses a flick off his hip but sees four leg byes skitter through to fine leg.
36th over: Australia 120-1 (Smith 4, Warner 70) Smith carves a straight one from Wood to midwicket for a couple.
35th over: Australia 118-1 (Smith 2, Warner 70) Warner is tempted into a hook as Broad bangs one in short, but it’s a bit half-hearted and there’s a huge top-edge that zips away for four to fine leg. It’s just the sort of slightly muddled shot at about this stage of the innings that has meant he has five 50s in this series and no hundreds. He gets away with this one, though.
34th over: Australia 112-1 (Smith 1, Warner 65) Steve Smith immediately takes on another short ball from Wood and pulls away for a single.
“Re. John Starbuck’s weirdest things to read when following cricket (29th over),” writes Robert Wilson. “Didn’t I win that challenge last year while reading Stendhal’s lunatic manuscripts (kid gloves and all) in the archives in Grenoble? If not, I did once agonisingly polish off Dryden’s The Hind and the Panther during a game at Fenners. One of the Essex fielders actually asked me if I was ok (that’s not a joke). Apparently, I was making terrible noises.”
Wood bangs one in back of a length and Rogers jousts at the thing at chest height outside off. The edge flies to first slip, where Cook juggles before clinging on.
33rd over: Australia 110-0 (Rogers 43, Warner 64) A brilliant slower ball from Broad almost gets England the breakthrough – Rogers completely mistimed a drive but it dropped a yard short of the bowler. It’s an excellent over from Broad, whose figures read 9-3-17-0 at the end of it.
32nd over: Australia 108-0 (Rogers 42, Warner 64) This is Australia’s fourth century partnership of the series – three of them have been Rogers/Warner, while the other was Rogers/Smith. Wood is pretty close to ending it here with one that beats Rogers’ outside edge. The opener responds by timing one sweetly down the ground for four.
31st over: Australia 103-0 (Rogers 38, Warner 63) Broad tries a couple of balls from over the wicket at Warner but quickly returns to his usual round-the-wicket approach. From the last, Rogers thunks a drive through the covers to bring up the Australia 100.
The old Warner did nothing quietly but the new Warner has quietly had a decent series: 396 at 49.50. Only Rogers & Root have made more runs.
30th over: Australia 99-0 (Rogers 34, Warner 63) Warner clips Wood behind square for a couple then guides backward of a diving Ben Stokes at gully for four. He’s playing within himself and doesn’t look like he’s about to give his wicket away with a brainfreeze. Which probably means he’s about to give his wicket away with a brainfreeze.
29th over: Australia 93-0 (Rogers 34, Warner 57) Broad keeps things tidy for five balls then overpitches just a touch with his last to Rogers and is driven square for four for his trouble.
“I can’t claim anything exotic like the Philippines (though I expect those who do live there don’t think of it that way),” begins John Starbuck, “as I’m at home, listening to TMS and checking the OBO, but I have knocked off the Guardian’s quick crossword and resumed reading Tales of the Marvellous and News of the Strange(Penguin 2014), which is pretty outré. Apart from the OBO, what is the weirdest thing to read when following cricket?”
28th over: Australia 89-0 (Rogers 30, Warner 57) Mark Wood returns at the Vauxhall End for the first over after the lunch break and he immediately overpitches onto Rogers’ pads and is flicked away for three to the backward square leg boundary. But he follows that up with a lovely full delivery that wiffles past the outside edge of a full-blooded Warner drive. And to continue this Kellogg’s multipack of an over he offers Warner some width from the penultimate ball of the over and is crunched to the point boundary, then follows up with another beauty that beats the outside edge.
The players return to the field. Earlier we mentioned the Change Cricket outside the Oval before play today. Here’s the full story.
An email.“This was never going to be as easy as Trent Bridge,” writes Richard Hartland. “I get the feeling when the Australian selectors gathered the players after that match they will have told them in no uncertain terms that win or lose this last match, the one thing to avoid would be an embarrassment on the scale of that first innings shower.
“All the same though, I’m enjoying the fact that it might be more of a contest this time. Also that I can finally follow the OBO live, sat on my porch with a G&T, even here in the rural Philippines, thanks to a very long bamboo pole (with an internet antenna thingy at the top).”
Hello all. Well, this is all a little unexpected. Warner and Rogers have been Australia’s best batsmen in this series and the last pair that you’d expect to be mentally shot at this stage, but their determination has been hugely impressive. It should set the tone for a big score for their team but it hasn’t quite worked out that way in the series so far.
First morning thoughts: Australia have played with caution and intelligence so far, seeing off the new ball in a cloudy first hour before playing a few more expansive shots. “Proper, old-fashioned Test cricket,” purrs Michael Holding in the commentary box approvingly. England haven’t bowled particularly badly – Wood was excellent early on, though Broad has been below his best – though they may now be in for a long hard day. John Ashdown will be with you first thing after lunch, so send your thoughts, witticism and statistical quirks to him at john.ashdown@theguardian.com. See you later.
27th over: Australia 82-0 (Rogers 27, Warner 53). The last over before lunch is bowled by Finn, who has a half-shout for lbw against Warner but it pitched outside leg stump. A maiden ends the session. It’s been a first morning as unlike that at Trent Bridge as could have been expected.
26th over: Australia 82-0 (Rogers 27, Warner 53). Broad is back before lunch, from the Vauxhall End (the end which, if memory serves, he bowled from when ripping through Australia in 2009). He’s still around the wicket, spearing it in at Rogers, who duly nudges round the corner for one. Warner flicks away a fuller delivery for another single and Rogers keeps the strike rotating with an other one, as does Warner off the fifth ball of the over. It’s all rather effortless for Australia at the moment.
25th over: Australia 78-0 (Rogers 25, Warner 51). Warner brings up an intelligent half-century with a drive off a loose Finn delivery for four. Another well-judged quick single follows. This partnership, in terms of the weather conditions and the stand’s steady unflappable nature, is beginning to carry slight echoes of that between Hayden and Langer here 10 years ago.
24th over: Australia 72-0 (Rogers 24, Warner 46). Ali finds some proper turn away from the left-hander, which finds Rogers’ edge and squirts out beyond slip for a single. But a fuller delivery gets the treatment from Warner, who hoiks it over square leg for four. A single follows, and then comes a much better delivery that turns and bounces sharply past Rogers’ outside-edge. A single completes the over.
Jonathan Wilton, meanwhile, has some words in defence of Australia’s outgoing captain: “I am amazed at the way people have turned on Clarke. He has been a real positive force for Australian cricket and his sportsmanship in declaring the last time he was at the Oval to make a game of it should be cherished, not forgotten. He’s been a great captain and a great batsman and he’s played through considerable physical pain and in charge of a team of rebellious larrikins”.
23rd over: Australia 66-0 (Rogers 23, Warner 41). A change of ends for Finn, who replaces Stokes at the Pavilion End. He bowls a fuller length at Warner and with Cook maintaining an attacking offside field, and there are shouts from the crowd – but no players – for a catch by Root at third slip when Warner edges in his direction, but it had bounced well short. Warner is then hurried up by a back of a length ball that he mistimes and misses as it rears into his thigh. This is better from Finn.
22nd over: Australia 66-0 (Rogers 23, Warner 41). Rogers is watchful against Ali, staying in the crease and playing late. Ali of course was the only wicket-taker the last time a morning’s play carried this kind of pattern, back at Lord’s. But there’s been none of the sort of reckless nonsense that delivered that particular scalp on this occasion. There is, instead, a maiden.
21st over: Australia 66-0 (Rogers 23, Warner 41). Stokes continues, with Australia looking to go for their shots a little more now, as Warner demonstrates by walloping across the line with force and confidence for four more. Another boundary ensues with a flick past the slips from an in-slanting delivery that sought to cramp Warner up. The Barmy Army band are playing “Yesterday”, which seems a tad melodramatic.
20th over: Australia 58-0 (Rogers 23, Warner 33). Our first sighting of spin comes with Moeen Ali replacing Finn. And conceding four from his first ball, Rogers cutting a short ball behind square for four. He also adds a flicked two on the legside. There’s some bounce and spin there though.
19th over: Australia 52-0 (Rogers 17, Warner 33). Warner gets three more with a composed drive, but Stokes has bowled decently and comes back at Rogers with a lovely outswinger that confounds and beats him. He then squares him up in front of his stumps but Rogers is able to get bat on it and gain a squirted single backward of square on the offside. Warner drives to the long boundary on the onside for a four that’s confirmed on TV replay, Broad having dived into the ropes while retrieving it, and Australia are past 50 way before lunch after all that. But both chances and runs are coming more freely now, and Warner thick edges in the air towards point but it just drops a yard short.
18th over: Australia 44-0 (Rogers 16, Warner 26). Finn concedes the first no-ball of the match through over-stepping. Warner adds another single with an easy drive to mid-on. Rogers then helps himself to his third boundary with a nice back-foot drive on the offside for four. This is good Test-match batting by these two, who now look mostly comfortable, though Finn squares up Rogers with a decent comeback ball that jolts away past his outside edge.
It looks as if Australia will reach 50 by lunch now anyhow, but talk of slow starts has stirred James Thomas’s memory: “On 30 August, 1979, Geoff Boycott and Alan Butcher (playing in his only test) put on a first wicket partnership of 45, very slowly. This was at the Oval. I have a feeling it may have been 45-0 at lunch, but that might be a false memory. Either way I was watching the game in South Wales and had earlier that year suffered a bout of chicken-pox.” Details of that one here, which tell us that England had positively raced to 245-5 by the end of the day
17th over: Australia 38-0 (Rogers 12, Warner 25). Warner clips Stokes down to the boundary where Finn makes a fine stop to prevent the four. It’s a single instead. Rogers picks up four more with a slightly fortuitous edge between slip and gully from a good back of a length delivery slanted in at him. A loose play-and-miss follows, which prompts some hopeful appeals, but the shot wasn’t good enough to have caught an edge, frankly. A good over.
16th over: Australia 33-0 (Rogers 8, Warner 24). Warner tries what could be his first properly risky shot of the morning, pulling across the line and in the air towards mid-on but getting away with it, and getting two runs. Finn comes back at him with a fierce accurate bouncer that Warner does very well to duck away from. He also induces a rather unconvincing inside-edge towards square leg that Warner nonetheless adds a single from.
15th over: Australia 30-0 (Rogers 8, Warner 21). It’s quite possible Australia could reach lunch without reaching 50. When did that last happen after a full morning’s play on a first day? Having said that, this over features the first two boundaries of the morning – a rasping pull shot square on the legside for four by Warner, and an effortless drive on the offside for four by Rogers in addition to a two and a one for Warner. So I’ve put the mockers on that stat-gasm there.
Some words on bowling first at The Oval, by one who might know about these things:
14th over: Australia 19-0 (Rogers 4, Warner 13). Rogers is getting all his runs in hurried singles – another comes at the start of this over following a defensive push – while Warner gets another one with a nudge to backward square leg. And that’s drinks. As Atherton points out, at this stage at Trent Bridge Australia were 38-7.
13th over: Australia 17-0 (Rogers 3, Warner 13). Rogers cuts and misses at an outswinger from Stokes that finds more bounce than the batsman was expecting. Rogers is also struck on the back by a short delivery that thwacks him on the back and runs down to fine leg for a leg-bye, and then Warner is beaten by an absolute beauty - perhaps the best ball of the morning - of an outswinger. There is a sense that these openers are seeking to hit the shorter and wider deliveries now we’re nearly an hour in but even though there’s been the odd miss they’re both playing wisely and well.
12th over: Australia 16-0 (Rogers 3, Warner 13). We have a double change of bowling, Finn coming on at his (presumably favoured) Vauxhall End. His first ball is short-ish and met with that strange wristy – sometimes risky – flick of Warner’s that brings him a single on this occasion. Rogers take another quick single.
Josh Robinson meanwhile corrects my horribly faulty memory about rest days: “For some reason very few people seem to remember this, but rest days continued in England (albeit not for all Tests) until the mid-90s. If I remember correctly, for their last few years there was only one Test a summer with a rest day, and it was invariably (and I have no idea why) the first Test of July. The last one I remember was the thirdTest against India at Trent Bridge in 1996. Oh well, if you can remember the early 90s, you weren’t there. Or something.
11th over: Australia 14-0 (Rogers 2, Warner 12). We have a first bowling change, Stokes replacing Broad at the Pavilion End. He too is round the wicket at Rogers, who gets on the front foot for a change to drive straight but Stokes fields smartly to prevent any runs. It’s a maiden.
Warne has spoken about The Mural:
10th over: Australia 14-0 (Rogers 2, Warner 12). Warner tries one of his foolhardy onside jabs for the first time this morning, prodding a Wood delivery towards mid-on. He’s then caught on the top of the pad by an inswinger, which the bowler appeals for but no one else does as it’s too high. Warner, having been praised for his caution, slashes and misses at a wide slanting outswinger, and there’s just a sense he want to get the scoreboard ticking over a bit more. A clipped single to square leg ensues, and then Rogers doubles his total with a scampered single to mid-off.
9th over: Australia 12-0 (Rogers 1, Warner 11). Australia have a “slightly different” attitude so far, says Atherton in the commentary box, wildly understating things. Though Warner is able to cut a loose one in front of square on the offside for three. Rogers does try a more expansive shot when hooking and missing at Broad. Cook brings in a short leg, who’s called into action when Rogers flicks one into the ground and at him.
“On the topic of standardised pitches,” writes Ed Round, “much of the variability comes down to the weather conditions. Temperature and humidity are known to affect swing bowling, and a damp pitch will dry to create havoc-inducing cracks for the team that bats last. So, to standardise conditions, the only sensible solution is to build an indoor cricket megadome in Dubai and hold all test matches there. Pitches of different types (flat, turning, seaming) could be dropped in, with the choice going to the captain who won the toss. It would also have the advantage of avoiding rain and light delays.”
8th over: Australia 9-0 (Rogers 1, Warner 8). Wood isn’t quite as accurate with this over, aside from a slanting outswinger that zips past Rogers’ defensive prod, but the runs aren’t flowing, though Australia won’t be too perturbed by that.
An anecdotal counter to the ‘whinging Aussies’ narrative comes from Patrick O’Brien: “I’m currently in Oz on hols and haven’t heard anyone blame pitches or unfair clouds. They’ve all been critical of the batsmen’s inability to adapt.”
7th over: Australia 9-0 (Rogers 1, Warner 8). Cook gets his funk on, field-placings wise, by bringing in a silly mid-off for Warner, but the opener remains uncharacteristically cautious, hitting little that doesn’t need to be hit. Broad does finally trouble Warner with a smart outswinger, which induces a play and miss. But Australia have lasted a whole 30 of your English minutes without losing a wicket. And scoring a mere nine runs.
6th over: Australia 9-0 (Rogers 1, Warner 8). A hurried Warner single starts Wood’s over before Rogers is startled somewhat by one that rears up at him and he has to push away off the back foot, and is then beaten all ends up by a jaffa. This is a bright, sparky start from the Durham bowler - mixing up yorkers, back of a length balls and inswingers and outswingers. He almost gets his reward with the final ball of the over, which finds Rogers’ edge but falls just short of Alastair Cook at slip.
5th over: Australia 8-0 (Rogers 1, Warner 7). Broad hasn’t quite got his line consistently right yet, a couple too wide outside off stump and the odd stray ball down leg (one of which is exceedingly well taken by Buttler, diving to his right). Warner adds another single with little more than a defensive nudge towards point. Rogers is then beaten for pace by one that’s pushed in at him from wide of the crease by Broad.
“So this series has had less play on Sundays than series where no play was scheduled for Sunday????” multiple question-marks Dale Sellers. “Now THAT is a statgasm of the highest order.” I might need a lie down after that one.
4th over: Australia 7-0 (Rogers 1, Warner 6). Rogers squirts a juicy Wood inswinger down to fine leg for one to get off the mark, but is then beaten for pace and bounce by a zesty delivery slanted across him. An excellent yorker follows, which is dug out with equal skill by Warner. But he adds three more to complete the over.
Another counter to Brendan Jones’s statblast: “In the not too distant past, when I was a kid going to Old Trafford, in the 70s, tests weren’t played on a Sunday. They did Thurs, Fri, Sat, Mon, Tues. That will make the stats for play on a Sunday rather unreliable.” Was it 1987, in fact, when they stopped having rest days here? This should prompt another stat-cascade.
3rd over: Australia 3-0 (Rogers 0, Warner 3). Broad, from around the wicket again, almost tempts Warner with an outswinger that the batsman almost nibbles. Warner is able to leave most of the over though. without ever looking as if doing so is his natural game. Which it isn’t of course, but some decent leaving thus far from Australia, which in itself feels like an achievement given what’s gone before this summer. A maiden.
2nd over: Australia 3-0 (Rogers 0, Warner 3). Wood opens up from the Vauxhall End to Warner and gets some decent inswinging movement off the seam with his first ball, which Warner bunts back defensively. He’s off the mark next ball with an assertive push down the ground for two. It’s a reasonably probing over from Wood though, making the batsman play and Warner drives for another single to round it off.
“In past years, test matches always started on Thursdays,” writes John Arbuckle on Brendan Jones’s stat-bomb. “This year, the 1st and 3rdtests started on Weds.This will have a bearing on Brendan Jones stats re weekend play – not comparing like with like and all that boring scientific due diligence.” When did stat-nerdery become so scientific and serious?
1st over: Australia 0-0 (Rogers 0, Warner 0). Broad is around the wicket straight away at Rogers. He gets decent bounce and carry, as you expect and kind of demand at The Oval. Bumble, perhaps bravely, says he wouldn’t be surprised if this is a high-scoring game. Rogers is watchful and sees out the first five deliveries before he’s rapped on the pad with the final ball of the over, which prompts an appeal from Broad but no one else is interested, because it was going down the legside. A maiden to start us off.
By the way, here’s a rather nice tribute to Rogers by our art critic Russell Jackson:
And out they come, to the usual Jerusalem fanfare. Here’s a juicy stat to get us going, from Brendan Jones, albeit not one to cheer Saturday or Sunday ticket-holders: “In the 4 Tests so far, a total of 48 hours of cricket was scheduled to be played on the weekends. But a grand total of only 16 hours and 30 minutes of play has occurred on the weekends, not due to weather interruptions but because the matches have been completed. This means only 34% of the scheduled weekend match time has been played, the lowest ever in a post-War Test series in England.”
There’ll almost certainly be more talk of pitches and conditions today (and, if the game lasts that long, tomorrow and Saturday), and here. Anthony Pease gets the ball rolling:
I have an inkling it’s just press hyperbole - I’d not like to be judged by the content of any tabloid headline from over here - but this hoo-ha about doctored pitches coming from many Australian outlets seems a bit rich. I’m no groundsman, but I imagine that one of the features of touring England & Wales is the necessity to play in English (& Welsh) conditions.
Is it the consensus of your Australian listeners that us Poms are just a bunch of pitch-doctoring cheats, or that the side that got sent over doesn’t have the gumption to bat a Test innings against a moving ball, and bowl the right length? Or somewhere in-between?
Team news: For Australia, Mitchell Marsh is in for Shaun Marsh, and Peter Siddle (whom we are contractually obliged to describe as a Sturdy Warhorse) comes in for Josh Hazelwood. In his interview with Michael Atherton, Michael Clarke again kind of distances himself from the selection process, talking of the choices being made for him.
Clarke calls heads, coin says tails. England bowl again. And yes, it looks cloudy and seamy out there. Disgraceful meteorological bias.
Anyone fancy another three-day Test? Might be for the best:
Some early musings from you, the public:“We all enjoy the good fun and moral callisthenics of sedentary men of a certain age (and BMI) abusing the talents and even physiques of world class athletes,” posits Robert Wilson. “But the abuse of Michael Clarke has been something special. The assembly of social media endomorphs seem to find him absolutely beyond the pale. What is it about this world-class, good-looking, record-breaking international sportsman that annoys them so? Can it really be the freckles?” And another bit of Australian boosterism from Martin Sinclair: “I think the Aussies will win this Test. With the series over, it is hard to maintain the same intensity whereas the Aussies will be desperate to salvage some pride. Hope I’m wrong, mind.”
Morning everyone. In the aftermath of 2005 and all that, The Oval marketed itself relentlessly with the strapline “Where the Ashes were won”, as if merely entering the grand old ground would guarantee spectators an experience akin to KP’s 158, Warne’s drop, Lee’s bouncers and umpires dithering over when to remove the bails. But if it felt a bit desperate, it was kind of understandable. Ashes series are all too rarely won at The Oval. In the past 40 years, the series has been done and dusted before its south London conclusion on all but three occasions (1985, 2005 and 2009), so Kennington is more commonly “where the final places for the winter tour are hammered out”. It’s a dead rubber paradise, this place.
But dead rubber Ashes matches can be fun too. Only two years ago, for example, we had the fun and games of Michael Clarke’s result-chasing declaration and England, inspired by Pietersen in what was to prove his final home Test, almost chasing down a target in the encroaching gloom before the umpires decided to send us all home. There was also England’s slightly chaotic three-day win here in 1997, and a more impressive one at Sydney in 2003, one of the great unheralded Test matches of this century, and one that, it could be argued, contained the seeds of what was to come in 2005.
After Australia pile on the runs England collapse to 107-8 at the close to trail by 374 runs at the end of day two at the Oval
Right, that’s it from me. Stick around to see if Mike Selvey, Vic Marks and Ali Martin can make any sense of that shambles from England. And be sure to join us again tomorrow for day three. But for now, cheerio!
What a bizarre day of cricket. And what a bizarre series this has been.
England 107-8, trailing by 374. Seven wickets fell for 77 runs in that evening session. Pick the bones out of that, then …
No, me neither.
40th over: England 107-8 (Wood 8, Moeen 8)
Siddle – bowling a gem of a spell – beats Moeen with another beauty that zips past the outside edge but the next is pushed down the leg side and flicked to fine leg for four. Moeen blocks and leaves the rest.
39th over: England 103-8 (Wood 8, Moeen 4)
A maximum of three overs remain in the day. Marsh will bowl the first of them. Moeen leaves alone outside off then clips a single to square leg.
38th over: England 102-8 (Wood 8, Moeen 3)
Wood plays and misses at Siddle outside off. And the next is short of a length and moves away like a leg break. The last nibbles back in but misses the edge once more.
Despite the undeniable joy of victory in the series, I think this must be the most dismal Ashes I have ever seen as neither side has shown any sort of grit or resilience - instead both teams have lurched from the first successful blow landed by the other side and then collapsed in a pitiful fashion.
Obviously an England win is great but this sort of topsy turvy nonsense could be the death knell for Test cricket - there is no longer a an element of test here - instead pampered players, protected from the daily rigour of county cricket are lauded for coming in, smacking the ball about a bit and then heading back to the hutch.
37th over: England 101-8 (Wood 8, Moeen 3)
Wood dangles his bat outside off and gets enough on it to loop the ball over Warner in the gully. Four runs. From the next, though, Marsh has his man, tempting the drive and finding an edge through to first slip where Voges takes the catch. As Wood walks off, though, the umpires check the no ball … and it’s a huge one from Marsh. Almost as big as Finn’s effort at Smith was earlier. Dear me, what a mess. Wood celebrates the reprieve by poking another through the gully area for four to bring up the England 100.
36th over: England 92-8 (Wood 0, Moeen 3)
Siddle returns with the express purpose of polishing this England innings off before the close. Moeen has another nibble outside off, the ball missing the outside edge by a whisker. And Siddle repeats the trick with the next. And with the next. The last of the over does find the edge, but it drops just short of first slip. A simply brilliant over from Siddle, a minor masterpiece.
Australia's tactic of batting as badly as possible on the first day of Tests 3 and 4 is now looking questionable.
35th over: England 92-8 (Wood 0, Moeen 3)
A double wicket maiden for Marsh, who has bowled beautifully here. Figures of 5-2-8-3 don’t flatter.
Edge! Safe! Broad almost falls to Marsh from his third ball, but the edge drops just short of Clarke at second slip. But from the next ball he’s out, another nibble, another edge, and this time it flies to Voges at first slip.
My word. Stokes tries to hammer a pull shot into the Thames but skews it straight into the south London sky. Neville waits … waits … waits … and takes the catch.
34th over: England 92-6 (Stokes 15, Moeen 3)
Four singles off the first four balls of Lyon’s latest. Followed by two dots.
33rd over: England 88-6 (Stokes 13, Moeen 1)
Another furious bouncer from Johnson rears up at Stokes like an angry bear. Stokes does well to sway out of the way. And the batsman fights back well from the next, punching through cover point for two.
32nd over: England 86-6 (Stokes 11, Moeen 1)
Stokes latches onto a short one from Lyon and cuts hard, but picks up just a single thanks to the sweeper out on the cover boundary.
31st over: England 85-6 (Stokes 10, Moeen 1)
A Johnson bouncer crashes into Moeen’s helmet. The batsman – who had got himself into a right old tangle – is fine and it’s good to see a fielder hop in to check he’s OK.
30th over: England 85-6 (Stokes 10, Moeen 1)
A cracking ball from Lyon does for Buttler, tossed up outside off and ripping back through the gate (although the gate was hanging off its hinges) as Buttler pushed forward. This is heading towards bizarro Ashes territory.
Go home Ashes. You’re drunk.
29th over: England 84-5 (Stokes 10, Buttler 1)
So an under-pressure Jos Buttler strides to the crease. I don’t think he’s under pressure for his place, as such, but speaking to him between Tests he was very aware of his failure to contribute meaningfully with the bat in this series so far.
Mitchell Johnson returns for one last blast before the close. And he does for Bairstow! It’s another soft dismissal. Johnson bangs one in, Bairstow loses control of his pull shot and picks out Lyon in the deep.
28th over: England 82-4 (Stokes 9, Bairstow 13)
Nathan Lyon returns to the attack. Bairstow immediately pounces on a half volley and thunks down the ground for four, then tickles round the corner for one. This pair have the potential to be a seriously thrilling sight … but they’ve got some tough work to do first. Stokes edges wide of Clarke at slip for four. Twelve from the over, but despite that not a bad one from the bowler.
27th over: England 70-4 (Stokes 4, Bairstow 6)
Stokes gets off the mark with an economical punch down the ground off Marsh – four runs, fine shot. The bowler pushes the ball wider as a result and Stokes leaves, leaves and leaves again.
26th over: England 66-4 (Stokes 0, Bairstow 6)
Siddle, who has two for 12 on his return to the side, continues. Bairstow whips another ball arrowing in on the stumps into the leg side for a couple.
25th over: England 64-4 (Stokes 0, Bairstow 4)
That was coming. Root never looked comfortable. The highlight of that wicket, though, was a superb replay as five Australian fielders called on Clarke, who was stock still and clearly didn’t much fancy it, to go for the review.
Marsh drifts a little straight looking for the lbw and Bairstow shovels through midwicket for three. And there’s more surprise bounce for th bowler, jamming Root’s fingers against the bat handle. Root jousts at the next and there’s a definite noise as ball passes bat. The appeal is a little delayed … Dharmasena says no … but Australia opt to review. There’s nothing on HotSpot but a small spike on Snicko. I think this is out … and it is. It’s enough for the third umpire to overrule the decision.
24th over: England 61-3 (Root 6, Bairstow 1)
Never heard of this guy who's bowling for Australia at the moment. Some guy called Siddle. He looks really good!
This is a ripsnorter from Siddle. Fizzing in on leg, seaming away to flick the top of the bails. Bell had no chance and England are in a bit of toruble.
23rd over: England 60-2 (Root 6, Bell 10)
Marsh, who given his batting struggles could really do with a cheeky little five-for, charges in again. Bell tucks one round the corner to move into double figures.
Umps do not call tight no balls because they do not want to get it wrong the other way round ie give not out on no ball when out.
22nd over: England 59-2 (Root 6, Bell 9)
Siddle continues into his fifth over. He finds Root’s edge – it was a matter of time – but the England No4 plays with soft hands and the ball drops a good yard short of first slip. The last ball of the over crashes into the thigh pad, bringing brief appeals and an even briefer consideration about a review.
21st over: England 59-2 (Root 6, Bell 9)
Mitchell Marsh is given the ball for the first time today. He wobbles one past another grope from Root, who is finding life very difficult out there at the moment. A leg bye adds one to the total.
Apparently eight no-balls this innings haven't been called. On the plus side, Salman Butt will find modern cricket much harder.
20th over: England 58-2 (Root 6, Bell 9)
A delightful bit of bowling from Siddle, who sends down a ball angled in on Root’s off stump, drawing the shot and then seaming away past the outside edge. Root escapes to the non-strikers’ end thanks to a bye after Siddle gets another ball to swing to first slip’s right.
19th over: England 54-2 (Root 4, Bell 9)
Johnson gets through his third maiden at Root. And Sky show a highlights package showing eight – EIGHT! – no balls from Johnson in this innings so far, none of which have been called by umpire Dharmasena.
18th over: England 54-2 (Root 4, Bell 9)
28. 29. 30. Siddle continues and England Dig In. 31.
17th over: England 50-2 (Root 4, Bell 5)
21 dots in succession lead into this latest over from Johnson. 22. 23. Johnson bangs one into the ribs, but Root rides it well. 24. And then the batsman ducks underneath a bouncer. 25. 26. The last is yards outside off and left alone. 27. Four maidens on the bounce.
16th over: England 50-2 (Root 4, Bell 5)
Siddle sends down a jaffa at Bell, one that Bell does well to miss. It’s hard work for the batsmen out there at the moment. Another maiden.
15th over: England 50-2 (Root 4, Bell 5)
Clarke turns to Mitchell Johnson in an attempt to unsettle Joe Root early on. Three warning shots … then down comes the bouncer. Root ducks underneath it while hopping, which is quite a feat. And from the very next ball he has a bit of an airy push outside off and the ball zips past the edge.
14th over: England 50-2 (Root 4, Bell 5)
“Looks like Hales better check his passport and get his cricket coffin out of the attic, he’s off to the UAE,” reckons Andy English. It’s probably doing him no harm that he’s 175 not out for Notts today. But I wouldn’t be surprised if we see Moeen opening in against Pakistan – it’ll certainly make it easier to select a second spinner.
13th over: England 50-2 (Root 4, Bell 5)
Hmm. I don’t think we’ll be seeing Adam Lyth opening in the UAE. It’s just not happened for him. Root gets up on his tip-toes and cuts over point for four but is whacked on the pad by the next from Siddle, who took the wicket of Lyth with his second ball of the series. And, as we’re speaking of Peter Siddle, here’s Barney Ronay’s classic piece on him from 2009:
Bleurgh! Urgh! Yuck! A hideous, hideous dismissal. Lyth toe-ends a half-tracker up into the air and into the hands of the man at midwicket.
12th over: England 45-1 (Lyth 19, Bell 4)
Another juicy four ball from Lyon, and another cut for four from Lyth. Though the bowler beats him all ends up from the next, Lyth groping with the grace and style of Frankenstein’s monster outside off and fortunate to see the ball miss the edge. The last ball of the over does find the edge, but it drops just short of Michael Clarke at slip.
11th over: England 40-1 (Lyth 15, Bell 4)
Starc finds a little extra bounce, getting one to lift off a length and slam into Bell’s fingers. The ball flies up but there’s no one in catching on the leg side. Lyth does well to dig out a yorker screaming in on off stump. Good, testing over from the left-armer.
10th over: England 37-1 (Lyth 13, Bell 2)
Lyon sends down a maiden at Lyth.
9th over: England 37-1 (Lyth 13, Bell 2)
Starc continues after the break. A bit of nudge and nurdle adds two to the tally.
Crumb of comfort for Cook - it's the first time he has ever scored at better than a run a ball in a Test innings
8th over: England 35-1 (Lyth 12, Bell 1)
Lyon picks up where he left off before tea, finding an eye-catching amount of turn. But he drops too short to Lyth and finds himself cut through point for four.
Hello all. So 34.5 overs remain in the day and for once we might just get them all in.
England took two wickets in the over before lunch, Australia one just before tea. The players seem particularly grub-distracted today. John Ashdown will be back to take you through to stumps – send him your thoughts here, if you’d be so kind.
That’s a fine delivery from Lyon, who prematurely ends the session with his first ball of the over by turning the ball back past Cook’s bat and clipping the top of off stump!
7th over: England 30-0 (Lyth 8, Cook 22)
Starc continues, and he’s absolutely all over the place, bowling wide dross to both sides of the wicket. The final ball of the over is decent, forcing Lyth to at least look sharp, but it’s easy enough to leave.
6th over: England 30-0 (Lyth 8, Cook 22)
Talking of not messing around, here’s Lyon, five overs into the innings. After three balls Australia bring out another helmet, and insert a silly point to go with their short leg and slip. Cook waits until the final ball of the over before making any real attempt to score runs, boshing wide of point, and he gets four for his troubles.
5th over: England 26-0 (Lyth 8, Cook 18)
After five overs yesterday morning Australia had scored eight runs, and they didn’t reach 25 until over No15. New-look England of course have no time for that kind of go-slow nonsense, and Cook starts Starc’s third over by outside-edging past the slips for four. A single brings Lyth on strike and a comedy lbw appeal, with the ball hitting Lyth on the thigh pad even though he was jumping, and about a foot in the air. It would have missed the stumps by two feet.
4th over: England 21-0 (Lyth 8, Cook 13)
Cook motors to double figures, tickling the ball to long leg, where it’s fielded on the rope, for a couple, and then hooking handsomely for four. Cook’s troubled by the next, mainly because at the very moment that Johnson was preparing to deliver the ball, a pigeon flies past the crease, distracting the batsman. His focus, though, isn’t gone for long, and the next is worked through midwicket, where it too is fielded a foot from the boundary. Lyth shows him how it’s done next ball, flicking off his stumps, and this time there’s no catching it. With eight runs, Lyth has already improved upon four of his 11 previous Test innings.
3rd over: England 8-0 (Lyth 4, Cook 4)
A maiden from Starc to Lyth, who, understandably in the circumstances, is in no hurry to go anywhere. “It seems that this is the first Ashes test when two lefty opening bats faced two lefty opening bowlers,” notes John Starbuck. “You have to feel sorry for left-handers – always being picked on by statisticians.”
2nd over: England 8-0 (Lyth 4, Cook 4)
Mitchell Johnson starts with a ball that leaves Cook squared up and squirming, and he edges it away for four. It was a massive no-ball, as it happens – not that it was spotted by the on-field umpires – so he couldn’t have got out.
1st over: England 4-0 (Lyth 4, Cook 0)
Starc takes the new ball, and immediately bangs it in halfway down the track, the ball bouncing past a discomfited Lyth just under neck-height. A couple of balls later he diverts the ball between slips and gully for four. Given that he’s got a series average of 12.85, that’s a third of a standard Lyth innings right there.
Out come the players. A big innings for Adam Lyth coming up. “Am I right in thinking that Lyth has scored less runs in 5 tests than Ballance managed in just two before being dropped?” asks Tom van der Gucht. “He needs to bosh out some runs today to repay the faith, not to mention the fact that Hales is coming back into form with another championship century as opener …” He does, indeed, need to bosh out some runs.
A telling contribution from Starc, whose 52-ball 58 pushed Australia’s total from the merely very good to the rather intimidating.
@Simon_Burnton Early-summer Me looks at Me today (win-spoiled & bemoaning the fading chance to win 4-1) and despairs at what I've become.
And it’s all over! Siddle gets a thick edge to Finn’s delivery, and Lyth takes a fine catch at gully, diving to his right.
125th over: Australia 481-9 (Siddle 1, Lyon 5)
Stokes bowls, and Lyon looks all kinds of uncomfortable about it, at least until the final delivery, which he pushes past mid-off, where there’s absolutely no sign of a fielder, for four.
Starc lbw is 2nd decision overturned in 33 reviews this series. Warner lbw at Cardiff was the other. 27 turned down between Warner & Starc.
124th over: Australia 477-9 (Siddle 1, Lyon 1)
Obscure OBO Youtube link dept: There’s a classic of Yiddish cinema (really, it’s a thing), filmed in 1936, just before everything that was about to happen, called Yidl Mitn Fidl. For purely rhyming reasons, as in all other ways he couldn’t have less to do with it, Peter Siddle has always reminded me of that film. Anyway, Siddle gets a single here, though it wasn’t a very clever one, and he would have been out by a distance had Bairstow hit the stumps from midwicket. He didn’t, as you can probably tell, though there wasn’t much in it.
123rd over: Australia 475-9 (Siddle 0, Lyon 0)
Hello again! So the wicket came from the final ball of the over, which had also featured another Starc boundary, an edge that flew wide of the slips for four.
And a very good decision it was too! Presumably, everyone thought the ball had clipped the bat on its way into the pad, because it always seemed to be wicketbound. Anyway, it didn’t, and an excellent and important innings is over.
Strange one, this. There wasn’t much of an appeal, but Stokes seemed keen, and the captain’s chanced his arm.
122nd over: Australia 467-8 (Siddle 0, Starc 50)
I’m torn about that Smith innings. You can’t score a scrappy, scratchy 143 really, can you? Can you?
A pretty grim end to a fine innings. Smith chops the first ball of Finn’s over onto his stumps.
121st over: Australia 467-7 (Smith 143, Starc 50)
Stokes, The Rage beginning to steadily course through him like the pink river of ooze in Ghostbusters II, steams in to Smith who – not for the first time – plays a ludicrously late dabbed cut for four, in doing so putting Stokes at risk of going full Vigo the Carpathian.
120th over: Australia 462-7 (Smith 138, Starc 50)
Joe Root once more. Smith again tickles for one, sits back and waits for the fireworks. Slightly disappointingly there’s just a nudge for a single from Starc, though it’s a run that takes him to his sixth Test 50, this one off just 45 balls.
STAT ALERT: Starc the 4th player to make two 50s batting 9 or lower in an Ashes (after Swann in 2009, Lindwall in 1953, AE Trott in 1894-95)
119th over: Australia 457-7 (Smith 134, Starc 49)
Stokes continues and he has Starc in trouble once more. The edge, though, flies wide of the slip cordon and down to third man for four more. He leans into the next and flicks through midwicket in Dhoni-esque style. Four more.
118th over: Australia 446-7 (Smith 133, Starc 40)
Joe Root replaces the struggling Moeen. It can’t be too often in Test history that the No1 batsman in Test cricket has bowled at the No2. Smith takes a single. Starc, though, looks to plant Root over the stands and into the latte of an unsuspecting pavement luncher on the south London streets. He makes no contact, the ball ripping past the outside edge. And from the next, Starc is dropped! Wood can’t hold on at backward square leg as Starc clips the ball low in his direction.
117th over: Australia 439-7 (Smith 132, Starc 38)
Starc fends off a Stokes bouncer and is a little fortunate to see the ball from safe of short cover. This pair have put on 63 in the blink of an eye. Or 68 balls if you prefer a little accuracy.
116th over: Australia 435-7 (Smith 130, Starc 36)
Starc plants his foot down the track and plants Moeen into the stands at long on. Six! And he tries the shot again from the next ball, not quite getting all of it but getting enough to beat mid on and pick up four more. From the last, though, Moeen almost has his revenge, an inside edge onto the boot just beating Bairstow at short leg.
115th over: Australia 423-7 (Smith 128, Starc 26)
Ben Stokes replaces Mark Wood. A Smith single off the first brings Starc into the firing line but he’s up to the challenge, confidently stroking through the covers for three. Smith sends a late cut – so late he actually played the shot tomorrow – wide of Cook at Smith and down to the rope at third man. Ten from the over.
114th over: Australia 413-7 (Smith 121, Starc 23)
Smith seems happy to keep his powder dry while Starc plays his shots at the other end. And he’s being allowed to by some Fairly Ordinary Stuff from Moeen, who drags the last ball of the over horribly short and is deservedly cut through point for four for his troubles.
113th over: Australia 408-7 (Smith 120, Starc 19)
Wood sends down his 13th and 14th deliveries since lunch without conceding a run but the streak is broken from the 15th with Starc climbing into a thunking drive through the covers. Woods responds well, beating the outside edge with the next. And the last is a huge inswinger that slaps the pad but has done far too much.
112th over: Australia 404-7 (Smith 120, Starc 15)
Starc rattles along to 15 from 18 deliveries after clipping Moeen away for three more. All 15 of those runs have come from the 12 balls he’s faced to the spinner. Smith clips the last ball of his pads away to backward square leg, where Broad can’t quite save the boundary despite his dive.
111th over: Australia 395-7 (Smith 116, Starc 12)
Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot … dot. Back-to-back maidens for Wood since lunch, the first at Starc, this one at Smith.
110th over: Australia 395-7 (Smith 116, Starc 12)
Moeen floats it up once more and Smith gently drives for a single. That brings Starc on strike and he’s playing a shot a ball at the moment – he drives his first through the covers for four, then steers into the leg side for a single. A single for Smith draws him level with Chris Rogers as Australia’s leading runscorer in the series.
109th over: Australia 388-7 (Smith 114, Starc 7)
Wood keeps his line tourniquet-tight to Starc outside off and the batsman can’t get him away. And in fact it’s a maiden.
108th over: Australia 388-7 (Smith 114, Starc 7)
Starc flicks Moeen for two through backward square to get himself off the mark, then chops through point for four more. And he nabs a single from the last to keep the strike.
107th over: Australia 381-7 (Smith 114, Starc 0)
Mark Wood returns to the fray. His first is a bit of a loosener that Smith pulls for four to midwicket, casual as you like.
106th over: Australia 376-7 (Smith 110, Starc 0)
Moeen sends down the final ball of his unfinished pre-lunch over and Starc blocks.
He’s being a bit harsh on Bananaman I reckon. There must be more underwhelming superheroes. Super Ted for a start …
Our very own Barry Glendenning (who, believe it or not, once did a stint on the OBO) is down at The Oval today.
Hello all. The game had been shuffling along for three and three-quarter-sessions but it took a giant stride forward in the half hour before lunch. At midday Australia were eyeing up 500-plus – now 400 is not guaranteed.
An excellent end to the session for England. Smith, who might have been out a dozen times while accumulating his latest century, remains at the crease, but he’s suddenly running out of team-mates. Anyway, it’s been a blast. John Ashdown will be here very shortly to take you through the next chunk of action. Email him here, if you would. Bye for now!
105.5 overs: Australia 376-7 (Smith 110)
Moeen bowls and Nevill edges, but the ball flies way past the solitary slip and away for four. No matter, he’s out next ball, Johnson follows two balls later, and England’s lunch will taste considerably better now.
@Simon_Burnton Odds on Steve Smith's second first innings at The Oval finishing 138* ?
That’s a beauty! Moeen Ali bowls into Mitchel Johnson, the ball straightens and clatters off stump! That’ll be the final ball of the session, and what an end to it for England!
It’s been a good 10 minutes or so for Buttler, faultless behind the stumps to the spinners, and when Nevill tries to pull the ball away but only gloves it through, he makes the catch look easy.
105th over: Australia 372-5 (Smith 110, Nevill 14)
Spin from both ends now, as Root comes on. Nevill watches a couple, and then slams the ball through midwicket for four.
104th over: Australia 367-5 (Smith 110, Nevill 8)
Moeen continues, despite that massive Smith six, and this time Smith gets four, just beating Broad at backward square leg, who chases after it half-heartedly before trying to stop the ball with his foot as it hits the rope, and failing to prevent it doing so. Unusual fielding, and not very effective either. “Joe Jackson is Post Punk’s Laureate. I shall brook no argument on this,” writes Nick Lewis, apropos Husker Du and stuff. “Remember how we all loved him? Night and Day; amazing balls, or whatever it is they say. He still works. He still brill. Night and Day 2; nobody bought it, really, I don’t think. Beautiful, ethereal, other worldly augmented and diminished and 7th and 9th piano chords. New York chords. Mixed with Portsmouth Punk Poetry. Like George Gershwin meets John Cooper Clarke, if JCC came from Pompey, like. A work of transcendent magnificence. I’m really quite evangelical about it.” Yes, so it seems.
103rd over: Australia 363-5 (Smith 106, Nevill 8)
Stokes bangs one in short, and it rises, keeps rising, and then rises a little bit more. Buttler just gets a fingertip on it, which is all that stops it flying away to the rope. Talking of that Steve Smith first-innings ton in 2013 (in the second innings then he scored seven), here’s another stat:
Most 1st innings 100s without a 2nd innings 100 in Tests: 11 Tom Graveney, Ashwell Prince & Steve Smith.
102nd over: Australia 358-5 (Smith 106, Nevill 6)
Moeen Ali comes on, England hoping to tempt Smith into something he’ll regret while he’s stuck on 99. Instead he reaches triple figures straight away courtesy of a misfield, and smashes the next ball he faces down the ground for six. So, that work so well, then. This is Smith’s second first-innings knock on this ground – in the first he scored 138 not out.
101st over: Australia 350-5 (Smith 99, Nevill 5)
Smith takes a little step closer to his century with a single, and then Nevill gets off the mark by turning a pretty feeble delivery that was floating down leg around the corner for four. Another single, Smith takes one more little step closer to the century. He now cannot get any closer without actually reaching it. The final delivery rears up and jags into Nevill, damn nearly performing a bellybuttonectomy on the poor lad.
100th over: Australia 343-5 (Smith 97, Nevill 0)
Nevill plays around Finn’s third delivery, which passes inside his bat but well wide of the stumps, and retreats into his shell for the remainder of the over. Maiden. And here’s some day one reaction:
99th over: Australia 343-5 (Smith 97, Nevill 0)
Smith, now just a single stroke from a century, is made to wait by Stokes and also by Root at cover, who does well to stop the ball as it bounces past him. Frustrated, Smith wafts his bat at the final ball of the over and is lucky to miss it.
@Simon_Burnton maybe Sam Warren planted a seed of doubt "Maybe I'm not playing today? Maybe I've been dropped mid-match"
98th over: Australia 343-5 (Smith 97, Nevill 0)
Ooooh! Finn bowls the bowl of the day so far (though they didn’t check where his feet landed), the ball coming into Marsh, moving away a fraction and just evading the edge. The very next ball brings a very thick edge, and Marsh is on his way.
That’s Finn’s 100th wicket! Marsh was so nearly out a ball earlier, and this time there’s no doubt about it, as he sends an edge high to Bell at third slip.
Stokes bowls very wide to Smith, and Smith stretches to smack it past cover. So he bowls even wider to Smith, and this time Smith can’t reach it, and it’s a wide. “I was halfway through a missive about Australian batsmen digging in and how that’d at least give me a chance of seeing some cricket on the 5th as I have tickets for it. But now I’ve got a face on because we could’ve had Clarke’s team on the rack but for ANOTHER no-ball chalking off a wicket,” rages Guy Hornsby. “For a mere casual like me I don’t see how players consistently no-ball when so much is at stake. It seems even more perverse that umpires seem to let them get away with it save for wickets. That only exacerbates the issue. Basically, I’m bloody fuming here. And I love Steve Finn. So conflicted.”
96th over: Australia 336-4 (Smith 92, Marsh 3)
Finn bowls a maiden. Steve Harmison is in attendance, and the TV cameras occasionally pick him out in the crowd – pretty much every half-hour so far. He’s always holding a full pint, dewed with condensation. “Not surprised by that no ball,” writes Paul Griffin. “Finn has looked discombobulated all morning, like a man unexpectedly harassed on his way to work.” Sam Warren, what have you done? “Btw, post-punk’s apogee is The Go-Betweens, lovelier than a Gower cover drive on a summer morning.”
95th over: Australia 336-4 (Smith 92, Marsh 3)
Stokes bowls, and Marsh gets off the mark with two, and then another one. The last ball passes down the leg side and Smith has a swish, prompting a very optimistic appeal for nothing very much. Michael Hann’s back on the line: “If you’re looking for a song to encapsulate the summer, go for the excellent Tears of Happiness by Steven James Adams, with a line that captures what the England bowlers have been up to:
I’ve been preying on the weak and the lame / And I spend my time with people who do the same.
94th over: Australia 333-4 (Smith 92, Marsh 0)
Smith was almost out about three times in that over, waving his bat around cluelessly. Nervous 90s indeed. But frustrating as that Finn no ball undoubtedly was, actually retiring from cricket seems a bit of an over-reaction.
Smith chases after a wide one and top-edges through to Buttler, but the umpires check the delivery and it’s a massive no-ball. He’s a good eight inches past the line there. Not even close. Gah.
That's twice now that Finn has thought he has taken his 100th Test wicket - only to have overstepped.
93rd over: Australia 332-4 (Smith 91, Marsh 0)
Two balls into Stokes’ over, there’s a large outbreak of background laughter in Sky’s commentary box. Atherton, in particular, can be heard guffawing for ages. They decide not to share the joke with the rest of the class, though. Three balls later they’re still laughing, while Michael Holding monotonously describes the latest field-tweaks. And then Voges gets out, and now we’ll never know what was so funny.
There was nothing good about that review. It wasn’t even close to not being out for any reason. And England have their breakthrough!
England think so. The on-field umpire thinks so. Australia would like them to change their minds.
92nd over: Australia 330-3 (Smith 91, Voges 74)
Smith smashes through the off side for four and moves into the 90s. It’s really been feast or famine for him recently, with scores since Cardiff of 215, 58, 7, 8, 6, 5, and now this. Basically, and in summary, he likes London. “Hüsker Dü fans are advised to seek out Bob Mould’s autobiography, See a Little Light,” writes Michael Hann, The Guardian’s OBO-perusing music editor. “Rarely has a man managed to come across as more humourless: he even manages to make an amusing anecdote about a dildo and a hotel room read like a complaint about the late running of the No 47 bus over three consecutive days. And nothing is his fault. It’s his dad, or his bandmates, or his manager, or his friends, or his lover. Always their fault. In fact, anyone who has ever read any of Geoffrey Boycott’s books will feel right at home with See a Little Light (the publishers can have that line for the back cover).”
91st over: Australia 325-3 (Smith 87, Voges 74)
And Stokes completes the double-change, replacing Broad. Eleven overs in now, the new ball has not engendered any kind of momentum-shift. Voges, who has made all the most handsome shots of the day so far, smashes a wide ball past point for four.
90th over: Australia 317-3 (Smith 84, Voges 69)
Finn returns, perhaps still coming to terms with his earlier encounter with Sam Warren (see entry shortly before start of play), and Voges flicks the ball off his ankles and through midwicket for four. “Sam Warren may have found ‘Does this tube stop at Dollis Hill?’ a more meaningful question given the circumstances,” suggests Nigel Steel.
89th over: Australia 313-3 (Smith 84, Voges 65)
Four more runs off Broad’s 20th over of the innings, all of them singles.
Wood bowls shortish, and Voges pulls nicely to the deep square leg boundary. “It looks like Australia have remembered that they are the second-best test team in the world and therefore decided to play Test cricket,” writes Harvey Lock. “There’s been quite a bit or surmise about what would happen if both teams played well in the same game. Hopefully we’re going to find out here culminating in a nailbitingly close finish in the last two sessions of day five.”
87th over: Australia 305-3 (Smith 82, Voges 59)
Ooooh! Voges inside-edges the ball into the ground and over the stumps, very, very close to being totally, totally out. That Smith boundary in the 86th over took him to 447 runs in this series, more than any Englishman in this series (though fewer than Chris Rogers’ 480).
86th over: Australia 300-3 (Smith 82, Voges 54)
For the first time today, a bowler other than Stuart Broad concedes a run. And then four more runs, as Smith drives a wide delivery through cover and takes Australia to 300. “Let them bat for five days if they want to,” writes Jonathan Wilton of Australia. “God knows, they need the practice.”
85th over: Australia 295-3 (Smith 78, Voges 53)
Runs! Voges diverts Broad’s second delivery past point for four and raises his bat to celebrate a half-century. Peregrin Hodgkinson, meanwhile, is in pessimistic mood (either that or he just likes Joy Division):
Another maiden from Wood. The first four overs of the innings brought seven runs, and the first four with the second new ball have brought three. All part of Australia’s new go-slow, don’t-lose-all-your-wickets-in-an-hour mentality.
83rd over: Australia 290-3 (Smith 78, Voges 48)
Broad continues. It’s decent, disciplined but not enormously encouraging from England’s perspective, and yields a leg bye and a lot of leaving.
82nd over: Australia 289-3 (Smith 78, Voges 48)
Mark Wood bowls, and there’s a little hint of movement there for him, particularly with a yorker that moves away from Voges a touch. Maiden.
81st over: Australia 289-3 (Smith 78, Voges 48)
A strangled lbw appeal briefly sounds as Voges inside-edges the ball into his pads. Later, Broad significantly oversteps and Australia get a bonus run. “Wow, didn’t turn on OBO expecting to see a Husker Du clip this morning,” writes Huw Neill. “England could learn a lot from Messrs Hart & Mould today – the bowlers should be ‘Dead Set on Destruction’ and make this a ‘Celebrated Summer’, making the Aussies hit it ‘Up in the Air’ and hopefully they can ‘Turn it Around’ otherwise they’ll ‘Keep Hanging On’ for the rest of the ‘Game(s)’. Too much?” Definitely enough now – it’s not funny anymore*.
80th over: Australia 287-3 (Smith 78, Voges 47)
Finn completes the 80th over, nothing happens, and England immediately take the new ball.
Right then, cricket. Out come the umpires, under grey skies once again (though no rain is forecast).
“I saw Steven Finn on the Jubilee Line at London Bridge this morning,” writes Sam Warren. “Wasn’t really expecting to see the big man so the best I could muster was ‘are you playing today?’ (a question I already knew the answer to) and ‘good luck’. A day of regret awaits that I didn’t ask him something more meaningful … Also I’m surprised (maybe wrongly) test cricketers are riding the tube on game day – do they not have a team bus or the like?”
So far in this series there has been a 75% toss-to-victory conversion ratio (something of an anomaly – in all history Australia have avoided defeat in 67% of matches in England when they’ve lost the toss). But already Australia, having lost the toss, are in a position from which defeat appears unlikely, if far from impossible (indeed, they’re now odds-on to win this match with most bookmakers). This is a big session, one in which England will want to provoke some significant wicket-tumblage to keep their hopes of 4-1 burning strongly.
Hello world!
A new dawn, a dew day, a new ball two balls away.
Good morning. Simon will be here soon enough. While you wait, here is Mike Selvey’s match report from yesterday to keep you entertained.
An abnormal series that at times has scaled the peaks of absurdity finally reverted to normality in south London. This was tough Test cricket on a surface that offered some early help to the bowlers but nothing extravagant, demanded caution and solid technique and rewarded diligence.
There was an opening partnership that effectively blunted the new ball, tight attritional cricket at the start, cat-and-mouse stuff as the England bowlers probed and the openers resisted temptation and later, as the bowling strayed from line and length, some sublime stroke-making.
Australia four wickets away from consolation win in the fifth Test
Cook falls for 85 in lone vigil as Clarke enforces follow on for the first time
Rain predicted for day four with England 203-6 (129 behind) in second innings
So the wait for Alastair Cook’s first home Ashes hundred goes on.
What a way to go – to part-time leg-spin, just 13 balls before the close. Whether he was motivated by that milestone or the prospect of tomorrow’s rain, he played a near-perfect hand, just as he did at Lord’s.
79th over: England 203-6 (Buttler 33, Wood 0)
Wood plays and misses at a few before keeping out a searing yorker: “getting the drawbridge down” as Athers says, while getting his feet out of the way. He walks away safe as Starc has a shy at the stumps through to Nevill and that is STUMPS.
78th over: England 203-6 (Buttler 33, Wood 0)
England bring out Mark Wood ahead of Moeen Ali, but it’s Buttler on strike for this over. After five dots, Buttler uses his feet superbly to pierce the leg-side field for four!
Imagine losing to a side that sends out a nightwatchman to protect a number-eight batsman in a dead rubber. Australia's humiliation complete
77th over: England 199-6 (Buttler 29)
STEVE SMITH IS ON TO BOWL! It’s what we’ve all been waiting for. Let’s see what dross he has for us...
Cook lunges forward and gets a slight inside edge and Voges at bat-pad takes the catch.
76th over: England 192-5 (Cook 83, Buttler 24)
Lyon goes loopy, flighted, flat, slower, quicker and stock. Cook goes defend, leave, defend, defend, tickle for two, defend.
75th over: England 190-5 (Cook 81, Buttler 24)
Bit of late movement into Cook from Starc, but he’s been in long enough to go with it and gets a single into the leg side. Signs of Buttler giving in to temptation as he plays and miss at another full ball outside off stump. A fine-tickle races away to the boundary, only for Marsh to make a good diving stop and throw into Nevill from on his knees. The OCS stand behind him offer a round of applause.
74th over: England 187-5 (Cook 80, Buttler 22)
Another cut, another single to Cook. Buttler gets one that bounces a bit but he follows the path of the ball well to ensure he turns it well behind bat-pad. The final ball of the over takes a similar path and Buttler just wears it.
73rd over: England 186-5 (Buttler 22, Cook 79)
Two for Buttler at the start of this Starc over, as he watches an inswinger right onto he middle of his bat and pushes it through the leg-side. Another couple around the corner as Starc strays onto leg-stump. Maybe his luck is turning: an edge then falls well short of Michael Clarke in the slips. Lyon back on...
72nd over: England 182-5 (Cook 79, Buttler 18)
The slower pace and wide berth offered by Mitch Marsh tempts Cook into a loose drive outside off stump. Wider next time – wided for four, actually – as the ball swings past the batsman and in front of first slip, bouncing short and running away to the boundary. Cook climbs into the penultimate ball but only finds point as he cuts.
71st over: England 177-5 (Cook 79, Buttler 18)
Starc’s over the wicket to Cook. Field suggests it’s just going to be full and quick. Still, Cook finds a single to long-leg. He might have more luck with Buttler, who’s displayed a big a gate as any between bat and pad this series. However, just as I type that, he is right forward with and defending back past Starc for a couple.
70th over: England 174-5 (Cook 78, Buttler 16)
Mitchell Marsh comes on to give Lyon a bit of a break and is on the money straightaway. Buttler’s in leaving mood but has to play at a couple that come for his stumps. Mitchell Starc replaces Johnson at the other end...
69th over: England 174-5 (Cook 78, Buttler 16)
Johnson gets to have a decent go at Buttler and seems to be making it count: averaging 88mph in this particular set, he takes a couple away from Buttler before tailing one in which is left safely, as it happens. Straighter and Buttler has two into mid-wicket. Great comeback from Johnson – 89mph – and lifting to beat Buttler on the outside edge. Thick inside edge gives Buttler another run to keep the strike.
68th over: England 171-5 (Cook 78, Buttler 13)
Cook’s beaten on his outside edge by a big turner from Lyon. But he follows it by beating the sweeper at deep point by waiting on the back foot and forcing this particular cut shot straighter for four. Big cheers from the crowd, who are subsisting on a gentle hum with 45 minutes of play left.
67th over: England 167-5 (Cook 74, Buttler 13)
The first sign of a bit of restlessness from the England skipper as he tries to force a pull to a short-ball that doesn’t get up as much as he expected. Any extravagant bounce seems to have gone from this pitch so it’s probably all on Lyon to finish this off ASAP. Just one off the over, to Cook.
66th over: England 166-5 (Cook 73, Buttler 13)
Cook’s wagon wheel pops up and it’s a thing of beauty. Nothing down the ground or behind him. Streams through cover point, one full toss through midwicket. The first four balls from Lyon are dots, the fifth punched through cover point for a single.
65th over: England 165-5 (Cook 72, Buttler 13)
Johnson on for Siddle as Warne spends the first part of the over – a dot, single for Cook and a leave outside off – to spy on Aleem Dar in the hope he does another little jig. He does, but only to remove some debris from the crease so that he can make out the crease. Three more dots and he finally stops talking.
64th over: England 164-5 (Cook 71, Buttler 13)
Lyon around the wicket to Cook, who uses Aleem Dar as a shield to get a single. He punches off the back foot and Dar, who can’t bothered to do square leg to square leg for the right and left handers, neatly back peddles to ensure David Warner can’t do the fielding from gully.
63rd over: England 163-5 (Cook 70, Buttler 13) Buttler is hit on the pad, falling over a very full delivery from Siddle that would just have gone down the leg side.Australia’s LBW shout was caught in the throat. That’s it from me; Vish will keep you abreast of events for the last hour.
62nd over: England 163-5 (Cook 70, Buttler 13) Cook is playing a different game to the other batsmen, stockpiling runs with almost complete comfort. I can’t remember his last false stroke. There are no guarantees in this thing of ours, but at the moment he looks like he’s on the way to his first Ashes hundred at home.
“Mike Collier’s interesting reminiscence is, like most narratives, constructed around gaps,” says Ian Copestake. “In his case the key gap is the now forgotten phrase, ‘Here, Mike, have a toke on this’.”
61st over: England 161-5 (Cook 69, Buttler 12) I wonder if Siddle ever gets bored of his own accuracy. He has exceptional self-discipline, just hammering away at a length, and that’s another maiden. Though he is not at the same level, watching Siddle brings to mind this immaculate over from Glenn McGrath.
60th over: England 161-5 (Cook 69, Buttler 12) Three from Lyon’s over. Deal with it.
59th over: England 158-5 (Cook 69, Buttler 9) Siddle is back, and you’d fancy him to home in on Buttler’s outside edge. For the time being he is bowling to Cook. Bowling dry x batting time = four dot balls, and then Cook works two off the pads.
“Off topic, but this has been gnawing away at me for 25 years+ and with Ashes drawing to a close this could be my last chance,” says Mike Collier. “Around 1988/9 I recall seeing an article in Melody Maker (or possibly NME) in which indie darlings of the day named their heroes. In amongst them was Andrew Eldritch of The Sisters of Mercy who named Mike Brearley as his hero. The phrases “philosopher king of English cricket” and “my own inability to wield the willow” remain indelibly etched on my memory. Only trouble is no-one I have ever met recalls seeing the same thing and I am starting to wonder if I dreamed the whole thing. It does sound unlikely, I admit. If just one person out there in OBO land can confirm this peculiar homage I will sleep easy for the next 25 years.”
58th over: England 153-5 (Cook 66, Buttler 7) At 177 balls, Cook’s is now the fifth longest innings of the series, which tells a story. Buttler gets down to lap his burgeoning nemesis, Lyon, for a couple. Lyon has got Buttler four times in the series.
57th over: England 153-5 (Cook 66, Buttler 7) Buttler, reaching well wide of off stump with his feet in cement, edges Starc just wide of the diving gully for four. He’ll be glad to get this series over and move onto the one-day stuff.
Nine of the 15 English wickets to fall so far here at the Oval have come against bowlers in the first over of a new spell. #ashes
56th over: England 149-5 (Cook 66, Buttler 3) Cook, who is playing beautifully, clips Lyon through midwicket for four to move to 66. He has never made an Ashes hundred at home. This is a good spot from Mikey Holding on Sky – Bairstow should have been given not out, because it hit the grille of Voges’s helmet. Bizarrely, that also happened to Bairstow in India in 2012-13; again he was given out when it should have been called a dead ball because it hit Gautam Gambhir’s helmet. What a strange coincidence.
“Whether it’s Old Brand of Cricket or New Brand of Cricket or New Brand of Old Cricket, every team needs to pick a Brand of Cricket and stick to it,” says Mac Millings. “At least then my old enemies, Uncertainty and her terrifying cousin, Surprise, can largely be avoided. That way, like I say to Mrs. Millings every time I’m about to receive my one birthday treat, ‘It may not be pretty, and it may be unsatisfactory, but at least you know what you’re getting.’ Adaptability is overrated. I approach every situation with a combination of incomprehension and dismay, and look how I’ve turned out.”
55th over: England 145-5 (Cook 62, Buttler 3) The Sky commentators are discussing who should be the Man of the Series. It’s between Root and Broad, presumably. I would go for Root because of the manner and timing of his runs, particularly at Cardiff. That was unquestionably one of the great tone-setting innings in an Ashes series. Who would you pick? And who would you pick as Australia’s Man of the Series? I’d go for Rogers probably.
54th over: England 141-5 (Cook 61, Buttler 0) Cook continues to bat in his bubble, oblivious to extraneous concerns like the match situation and whether Mary Berry should be named a dame, and plays out a maiden from Lyon. He has 61 from 164 balls, a superb exhibition from the dying art of batting time.
53rd over: England 141-5 (Cook 61, Buttler 0) Jos Buttler might be guiltily glad of Adam Lyth’s struggles, because they have diverted attention from his own poor form. With some players you might worry whether they have been found out but Buttler, surely, is just too good not to make it at Test level. He could do with a score, though. He almost gets a score of nought when Starc swings a jaffa between bat and pad and just over the stumps.
“Re: Siddle,” says Phil Sawyer. “The Parsimonious Vegan is the worst pub you’ve spent an evening in in Brighton.” No no, you’re confusing it with the Metronomic Banana Eater.
52nd over: England 140-5 (Cook 60, Buttler 0) That is Stokes’s third duck of the series, and his sixth in just nine home Tests. He is a streaky cricketer, hot and cold, and in his last five innings he has made just 20 runs.
Ben Stokes makes yet another duck in a home Test. Lyon seduced him into the drive with a lovely bit of flight, and Stokes edged it straight to slip. That’s beautiful bowling really, though it wasn’t a great shot to play on nought.
Nathan Lyon strikes in his first over! Bairstow pushed forward with hard hands at a nice off break that took a thick inside edge and flew towards Voges at short leg. It hit him in the chest, but he was sufficiently alert to take the catch at the second attempt. Excellent work.
51st over: England 139-3 (Cook 59, Bairstow 26) The parsimonious vegan is replaced by Mitchell Starc, which should liven things up one way or the other. Cook works an errant delivery to fine leg for a single.
50th over: England 137-3 (Cook 58, Bairstow 26)“So Rob, given that this series has largely shown the folly of teams adopting an overly attacking mentality and we’re now hoping that England will now dig in and grind out a resolute draw, is Old Brand Of Cricket the New New Brand Of Cricket?” says Phil Sawyer. “I’m a bit confused by it all.”
Yep, the backlash against Brand of Cricket starts here. To misquote Roy Keane, you can stick your brand of cricket up your b- [that’ll do - imaginary ed]. But yes, it does feel like sport is damagingly susceptible to fashion. It’s almost as if everyone is making it up as they go along!
49th over: England 133-3 (Cook 58, Bairstow 26) Siddle is haemorrhaging runs, relatively speaking: he has gone for a single, worked off the hip by Cook, and then Bairstow thick edges four to third man. That’s the first boundary off Siddle in this innings, from the last ball of his 13th over.
48th over: England 128-3 (Cook 57, Bairstow 22) Mitchell Marsh replaces Lyon and starts with a maiden to Jonny Bairstow. The match is drifting a bit, which has not something that has happened often in this breakneck series.
Feels a bit like the Third Place Playoff in the World Cup here. It's more than a friendly, but less than a "live" match @100ashesquotes
47th over: England 128-3 (Cook 57, Bairstow 22) Siddle continues to join the dots, almost sneaking one behind Cook’s pads with the fifth ball of the over. Yet another maiden from Siddle (12-8-7-1).
46th over: England 128-3 (Cook 57, Bairstow 22) Nothing to see here.
45th over: England 125-3 (Cook 55, Bairstow 21) Siddle zips a length delivery past the outside edge of Bairstow, who snaps his head round to follow the ball in a manner that usually suggests an edge. Not this time. A maiden from Siddle, who has the kind of figures usually seen next to the name C. E. L. Ambrose: 11-7-7-1.
“I know his season has been average, but is there no chance of Compton going on tour?” says Tom Bowtell. “He was proper gutsy in India, and he and Cook are still one of the most prolific opening pairs in the last 3 years (and he brought out good form in Cook who averages 54 odd batting with him).” I agree, I’d be very tempted to go with him or Carberry in the short term, with a view to Hales coming in over the next 12-18 months. But I doubt it’ll happen. If Hales has a good ODI series against Australia I suspect they will pick him in the Test squad to play Pakistan.
44th over: England 125-3 (Cook 55, Bairstow 21) Nathan Lyon starts the evening session. He is bowling to Cook, who needs 46 to equal Kumar Sangakkara’s record for most centuries in the second innings of a Test. Make that 45, after a cut for one. That shot has got Cook in trouble against Lyon in the past, and this one was in the air for a while.
Hello, Rob here, on a dark day for those whose name ends in -yth. We have a longish evening session to come, with 36 overs still to bowl. England are 209 behind but still have a chance of saving this game. Their two main hopes are Alastair Cook and the little rain symbol evident on most weather forecasts for tomorrow and Monday.
43rd over: England 123-3 (Cook 54, Bairstow 20)
Mitchell Marsh replaces Johnson after an expensive over. After Cook starts with a single, Bairstow gets in and behind the rest of the ones at his stumps and leaves a couple, too.
42nd over: England 122-3 (Cook 53, Bairstow 20)
Siddle showing the odd sign of frustration in the heat as singles come a little easier off his bowling as his length wavers. Cook frustrates him the most by working a ball on off stump towards midwicket
41st over: England 119-3 (Cook 51, Bairstow 19)
Two consecutive fours from Bairstow to start this Johnson over. Neither were convincing, both scuffed through the cordon but with soft hands. Ah OK, we’ll give you that, Johnny. The over finishes with an aerial scuff this time, high over the heads of the slips for the third four. Johnson scratches his head, Bairstow just squits.
40th over: England 107-3 (Cook 51, Bairstow 7)
Cook drops the ball in front of midwicket and takes a single, before Bairstow works Siddle behind square on the leg-side for another.
39th over: England 105-3 (Cook 50, Bairstow 6)
Not the most promising start from Bairstow as he flays at a ball that is past him in a flash. Later, he bunts aerially down the ground, as Johnson sticks out his right hand in an attempt to take what would have been a stunning caught and bowler. Four to Johnny.
38th over: England 99-3 (Cook 50, Bairstow 0)
Siddle bowling to Cook. What do you think?
37th over: England 99-3 (Cook 50, Bairstow 0)
Fifty for Alastair Cook, off 119 balls. It’s his 44th in Tests and has featured nine fours. He has a little wave at the crowd, as Nasser reminds us all that he’s still yet to score an Ashes hundred at home. Short and wide from Johnson then allows Root to cut hard in front of backward point for four! And then a silly hook to get out. Silly Joe...
Root top-edges a hook off new bowler Johnson, straight into the hands of Starc at long leg, who takes a smart catch just in front of the sponge.
36th over: England 94-2 (Cook 49, Root 6)
Singles to Cook and Root start the Lyon over. The odd bits of spit of the pitch but nothing too threatening. Johnson back at the other end – perhaps a change of ends for Siddle?
35th over: England 91-2 (Cook 48, Root 5)
A very Siddle over full of tight lines, nagging lengths and some close-ups of his gums. Just one from it, to Cook.
34th over: England 90-2 (Cook 47, Root 5)
After staying in his crease for the first three balls from Lyon, Root skips down and works him through midwicket for a single. Cook then takes the single on offer to the off side boundary, as Peter Siddle prepares to replace Starc...
33rd over: England 88-2 (Cook 46, Root 4)
Cook going through the gears one – the low ones you’re milking during your third driving lesson. A tuck off the legs for two is followed by a punch drive for four. Very well timed, very odd to watch but very effective.
Cook's straight-arm-check-prod-drive legit in my top 10 favourite cricket shots.
32nd over: England 82-2 (Cook 40, Root 4)
My word – turn AND bounce. Lyon pitches leg stump, kicks off the surface and misses Cook’s outside edge, taking a feather form the keeper’s left glove, meaning Clarke has to fetch and a bye is taken. Cook retains the strike with a dab into the leg-side.
31st over: England 79-2 (Cook 39, Root 3)
15 balls it’s taken for Root to get off the mark. He does so with a three, as Shaun Marsh does the unthinkable and successfully retrieves a ball running across the squares at the Oval. Starc yorks Cook, who has the awareness to clamp his bat down for a single into the leg side. Meaning...
Finally, some intent. Marsh is still doing his job, but Cook has managed to thread a couple of drives through the cover field, both for four. Clarke applauds Marsh’s persistence with the full ball. Naturally, he finishes with a short ball that Cook thumps through extra-cover for four.
29th over: England 63-2 (Cook 26, Root 0)
Good stuff from Athers on Sky: he’s noticed that Starc is swinging some and reversing others. Evidently, Starc is unsure where it’s going. Neither does Root. He’s still there, for now.
28th over: England 63-2 (Cook 28, Root 0)
Marsh excellent, again. Cook’s given nothing to work with and then, final ball, a ball is sent across him that he cannot resist, throwing a loose drive its way and finding nothing but air.
27th over: England 63-2 (Cook, Root 26)
Mitchell Johnson’s first post-lunch spell comes to an end and Starc will take over left-arm duties. He’s getting the ball to move both ways, but hasn’t been able to get things quite right, sending one past Root’s edge but following up with an inswinger that passes harmlessly down the leg side.
26th over: England 62-2 (Cook 26, Root 0)
Slack from Bell as he pulls firmly but uppishly to Chris Rogers, diving to his right, who’s unable to take what would have been a very good catch. There’s a slight delay as Rogers is forced to leave the field and it works in Marsh’s favour, as he hits the pitch hard to sting the fingers of Bell and send him on his way. A modest series comes to the end for England’s most lavish accessory. Immediately Marsh is at Root, beating the outside edge.
Absurd innings from Bell ends: the ball after he pierces the hands of midwicket, he takes one on the glove which balloons up to Clarke at slip, who makes amends for his drop a few moments ago.
25th over: England 58-1 (Cook 26, Bell 9)
Johnson continuing. The pace is still up there but the radar is starting to show signs of weariness. The first ball is sent down leg before a wider ball is played with soft hands by Cook between the slips for another four.
24th over: England 54-1 (Cook 22, Bell 9)
More indecision from Bell on his off-stump. He gets four, but he won’t like it: attempting to retract his bat and offering up the face for the ball to kiss off and run through a vacant gully for four. Clarke’s doing well to ensure Bell is stuck on strike, with two on the leg side to stop that dab into that region. Marsh toys with his position at the crease and finishes tight to the stumps, as Bell creams one, finally, but straight to the man at cover.
23rd over: England 50-1 (Cook 22, Bell 5)
Cook very quick to pick up a short ball from Johnson and hammer to the square leg fence for four. Good follow-up ball has Cook with both his shoulders facing down the pitch. The edge is found, but it skates wide of the slips.
22nd over: England 42-1 (Cook 14, Bell 5)
Mitchell Marsh replacing Nathan Lyon and he squares Bell up, just missing the edge and off stump. Bell then flashes at a drive ball that he edges high through to Clarke... who shells it! It was fast but he’s taken those this series. Seemed to react late, throwing his hands up so quickly that he took himself off his feet. It’s no great pace, just some low 80s, dandy seam stuff. But he’s keeping Bell in check. Just a two, mid-over, past point from the over.
21st over: England 40-1 (Cook 14, Bell 3)
Johnson goes at Bell, who gets pinned on the arm and adds four to the score as he was taken evasive action. Same again the next ball – short, up at his arm-pit – and there’s bat this time, but to a safe are between bat-pad and the man out at deep fine leg. Cook gets an easier ride, as Johnson searches for his edge with some balls in his half.
20th over: England 35-1 (Cook 14, Bell 2)
Cook is given one to the man at deep point, rocking back and cutting to bring Bell on strike. Muted appeal as Bell goes to work one behind square, with Lyon coming over the wicket. Nevill with a good take, but no bat. Maybe worth chucking a leg-slip in? Bell’s fallen foul of a man around the corner before. Single off the penultimate ball and Cook lunges forward in defence to see out the over.
I'm sitting 75 yards from the middle with 52 year-old eyes and even I could see that came off the arm. Absurd stuff from Aus @Vitu_E
19th over: England 33-1 (Cook 13, Bell 1)
Mitchell Johnson zings a couple wide of Bell’s off stump and then bowls a marginally slower one that arcs in but wide and short enough for Bell to leave comfortably. One shorter and across him – 88.2mph – and the next ball is deflected through to Voges, low at first slip. The catch is taken, a huge appeal goes up, Dar and Bell are unmoved and there’s a review from Michael Clarke... and it’s shoulder of the Bell rather than the bat.
18th over: England 33-1 (Cook 13, Bell 1)
“Tidy start from Lyon,” says Warne. Words, Warnie. A few getting the batsmen forward, a few letting them push back. A couple of tucks around the corner – one for each – and hint of a change-up.
Play about to resume at the Kia Oval...
Only a fool like me would choose to follow so immediately after Rob Smyth with this OBO. It’s all disappointment from now until tea, when he’ll return. Ah well, at least it’s sunny out.
A pretty somnolent morning session ends with England where they were at the start of the day: in the malodorous stuff, and needing a new opener. It’s still a good batting pitch, so there is scope to lose the match with dignity, or save it with rain. Thanks for your company; Vithushan Ehantharajah will be with you after lunch.
17th over: England 31-1 (Cook 11, Bell 0) Siddle finally concedes a run, from his 35th delivery. Nothing else happens, and that’s lunch!
“So you don’t think Hales is capable of dealing with the harder series then, Rob?” says Michael Drinkwater. “ That’s not much of a recommendation, is it? Surely if he is good enough, he should be tried now. Reckon he’d be a good person to have in South Africa. As for the dilemma that is Moeen, for a start this series he should have been ahead of Buttler, but his bowling - or his control anyway, seems to have gone in reverse. He should be in the UAE though and so should Rashid. If its just one series, and the selectors want to squeeze in Rashid too, then why not open with Bell and have Moeen at 3?”
16th over: England 30-1 (Cook 11, Bell 0) Lyon starts around the wicket to Bell, an angle from which he has dismissed him a few times. The first ball turns down the leg side for four byes, and the Sky commentators note with surprise the lack of a leg slip. Bell has been dismissed turning Lyon round the corner in the past.
Adam Lyth is the first player in Test history to make 5 consecutive scores between 10 & 20 whilst opening the batting pic.twitter.com/HBBLKLd9c6
15th over: England 26-1 (Cook 11, Bell 0) Bowling dry has gone out of fashion in the last year or so; Siddle is demonstrating the ridiculousness of that situation. He is supremely accurate, and has a strangled LBW shout against Cook from a ball that pitched just outside leg. It’s another maiden, so Siddle’s figures are now 5-5-0-1.
“Only one choice for your movie tonight,” says Niall Mullen. Oh my. That looks heroically diabolical.
14th over: England 26-1 (Cook 11, Bell 0) Cook cuts another boundary when Lyon drops short. So, who would you open with this winter? I would leave Hales until next summer, because it’s such a tricky winter and it could finish him before he has started. Moeen in the UAE is an option, though not in South Africa. They could almost do with a short-term patsy to do the hard work this winter and then allow Hales to come in when it’s theoretically easier next summer. The other problem with Moeen opening in the UAE is that he’s such a good player of spin, so why take him out of the middle order? It’s a big problem; I’ve no idea what they should do.
13th over: England 19-1 (Cook 4, Bell 0) With every passing over, the omission of Siddle for the first four Tests seems less an oddity and more a downright scandal. Another fine delivery draws an edge from Bell that falls this far short of Clarke at second slip. Siddle’s figures are now 4-4-0-1.
“Film tonight,” says Dan Lucas. “Go with Galaxy Quest. Because you could do with a hilarious farce.”
Adam Lyth’s Test career comes to an end. Probably. It was a good delivery from Siddle – an immaculate line and length, which meant that Lyth felt he had to play. He pushed defensively and edged low to second slip, where Clarke took the catch. Lyth ends the series with 115 runs at 12.77, and the summer with 265 at 20.38. He was worked over beautifully by Siddle there.
One summer, seven Tests, one century: Sam Robson in 2014, Adam Lyth in 2015 @100ashesquotes
12th over: England 19-0 (Lyth 10, Cook 4) I have nothing to declare except another maiden, the fourth in a row. Cook has four from 41 balls. “Good morning Rob, I have an interview on Tuesday,” says Jeremy Bunting. “I have so much preparation to do and my concern yesterday morning was this would play through days 4 & 5. That would totally screw up my chances.”
11th over: England 19-0 (Lyth 10, Cook 4) An airy-fairy drive from Lyth meets only fresh air. “Oooh dear,” says David Gower. When even David Gower bemoans an airy-fairy drive from a left-hander, it’s safe to say it wasn’t a good shot. Lyth is beaten twice more in the over by gorgeous leg-cutters from the excellent Siddle. He is going at just two an over in this match, with combined figures of 16-8-32-2. When they reflect, I suspect Australia will regret following fashion and omitting Siddle so often over the last 18 months.
Follow-ons enforced by recent Australian captains: Clarke 1/5 (had 5 chances to do so); Ponting 4/13, S Waugh 8/8, Mark Taylor 3/5
10th over: England 19-0 (Lyth 10, Cook 4) I missed that over because I was trying to decide what film to watch tonight. It was – horror, shock – another maiden, this time from Lyon to Cook. England trail by 313.
9th over: England 19-0 (Lyth 10, Cook 4) Siddle beats Lyth with a beauty that pitches outside leg and jags past the outside edge. There’s a break in play while Siddle changes his shoes. “Is that one of them Fokkers?” says Bumble as a plane flies over the ground. Another maiden, the fifth of the innings.
“I dont think Moeen is an opener either,” says Phil White. “But he is wasted at 8. On Ashes form he should be in the top six. A positive approach to this match would have been to drop Buttler, put Bairstow at 7, and bring in Rashid at 8. Arguably a stronger batting line-up, and who knows what Rashid’s bowling might have achieved?”
8th over: England 19-0 (Lyth 10, Cook 4) Cook started the series by shimmying down the pitch to Lyon. He is ending it by staying firmly in his crease, defending watchfully. He is waiting for a bad ball, and when it eventually comes he cuts crisply for four to get off the mark from his 27th delivery.
7th over: England 15-0 (Lyth 10, Cook 0) Clarke continues to tinker, replacing Johnson with Peter Siddle. He starts with a maiden, including a good short ball that Lyth fends to gully on the bounce. It’s pretty quiet around the ground. Sometimes that low hum signifies high tension; this is not one of those times. Lyth actually isn’t England’s lowest-scoring batsman in this series; he has 115 runs to Jos Buttler’s 80. “If we’re handing out insults for not scoring runs, let’s have a go at him!”
6th over: England 15-0 (Lyth 10, Cook 0) Michael Clarke plays a bit of slap-bass in his final innings as captain, bringing Nathan Lyon into the attack after only five overs. Cook defends solidly and now has nought from 23 balls. There’s your brand of cricket.
5th over: England 15-0 (Lyth 10, Cook 0) This is probably the last time we’ll see Mitchell Johnson bowl in an Ashes Test. The bald statistics – 19 matches, 86 wickets at 25.41– don’t even hint at one of the better stories in 21st century sport: a tale of songs, schadenfreude, redemption, nasty surprises, moustaches and murderous bloody lifters. Lyth uppercuts him confidently for four, and then deflects one off the elbow to fine leg for four leg-byes. A pristine cover drive makes it 12 from three balls.
4th over: England 3-0 (Lyth 2, Cook 0) Kumar Dharmasena calls a no-ball from Starc, prompting a few sarcastic cheers. How did people manage to get by before banter was invented? Not much is happening; the new ball is swinging, but thus far Starc in particular hasn’t made the batsmen play enough.
3rd over: England 1-0 (Lyth 1, Cook 0) Lyth works Johnson off the hip to get off the mark. To repeat, the forecast for tomorrow and Monday is pretty poor, so this match is saveable. Cook, attempting a dainty flap-hook, is beaten for a pace by Johnson’s bouncer.
“Would suggest Moeen is different class to Peter Taylor, and it has been seriously proposed that he should open, in the UAE,” says Phil White. “(This should ensure Lyth now gets his hundred.)” Oh I agree, I just meant the tactic of putting someone straight back in when you follow on because they batted well in the first innings. He probably will open in the UAE but it’s not a sustainable strategy, and it means potentially weakening what is already the weakest part of the side.
2nd over: England 0-0 (Lyth 0, Cook 0) Alastair Cook has promised more than he has paid in this series: 245 runs at 30.62. There are mitigating circumstances – a couple of serious jaffas, that freak catch at short leg – but it’s unusual to see Cook in decent form make so many nothing scores. He ignores a series of deliveries outside off stump in Mitchell Starc’s first over, so it’s a maiden.
@100ashesquotes Gooch was under quite a lot of pressure going into the Oval Test in 85. He got 196
1st over: England 0-0 (Lyth 0, Cook 0) Lyth ignores the hat-trick ball, a full awayswinger. I bet his heart is playing a drum-and-bass track right now. He does really well to get on top of an excellent lifter and steer it on the bounce to gully, but then has little option but to wears a beautiful short ball that hits him on the glove and body. A maiden.
“England should have opened the second innings with Moeen,” says Phil White. “He’s got his eye in and been batting well.” Ah, the old Peter Taylor tactic. I love stuff like that. Batting orders should be much more fluid.
Mitchell Johnson, who is on a hat-trick, is going to take the new ball.
As Adam Lyth trots out, thoughts turn to some of the great career-saving innings: Mark Taylor in 1997, Andrew Strauss in 2008, and of course Alastair Cook on this ground in 2010. I suppose that was place-saving more than career-saving, but even so.
An email Interesting to compare Moeen’s figures to those of our main spinner in last four home Ashes series,” says Tom Bowtell. “Take the Swann-friendly 2013 pitches out of it and he’s right up there., basically the same as Swann in 2009.
Giles 2005: 155 runs at 19.37, 10 wickets at 57.8 Swann 2009: 249 @ 35.57 and 14 @ 40.50 Swann 2013: 126 @ 25.20 and 26 @ 29.03 Moeen 2015: 250 @ 41.66 and 12 wickets @ 45.50.”
Mitchell Johnson finishes the innings with two wickets in two balls. Moeen feels indeterminately outside off stump and edges low to Nevill. England are 332 behind, and Australia have enforced the follow on. That’s the first time Michael Clarke has done so in a Test, and it might just be the last.
Mitchell Johnson strikes with his third ball. Wood, beaten for pace, miscues a pull straight to Starc at midwicket. That was another breezy little innings from Wood, 24 from 41 balls with six fours.
48th over: England 149-8 (Ali 30, Wood 24) Lyon replaces Siddle. I used to think he was the most underrated player in world cricket, but I reckon he falls foul of the Denis Irwin rule: once a certain percentage of people say you are underrated, you are no longer underrated. Moeen Ali plays him better and more aggressively than most England players, and drives smoothly over mid-on for four to bring up the fifty partnership. The next ball is clouted disdainfully back over Lyon’s head for a one-bounce four. England have hit seven boundaries in the last three overs. It’s a whole new brand of cricket!
In other news this, from Mike Jakeman on home domination in recent Test cricket, is very good.
47th over: England 141-8 (Ali 22, Wood 24) Wood chases a very wide delivery from Marsh. Fresh air roars through cover for four; the ball ends in the hands of Peter Nevill. The runs are starting to come quickly now, with Wood hitting consecutive boundaries off Marsh. The first was a forcing shot past backward point, the second a storming cut stroke.
“My friend Mel is there today (I’m in Leeds, what was I thinking?) as I chose day five instead,” says Guy Hornsby. “I’m looking about as foolish as Finn did yesterday when Steve Smith nicked it. Still, how we perform today could go a long way towards the UAE, so here’s hoping for 320-1 at the close. Allow me some misplaced optimism at least. Hope is already in the pub.” Hope’s already in the clink after throwing hands at the bar when it realised there was no chance of rain today.
46th over: England 133-8 (Ali 22, Wood 16) Moeen, driving expansively, edges Siddle through the legs of Warner at gully and away for four. A softer edge next ball sneaks past Warner for another boundary. He makes it three fours in the over with a pleasant drive through mid-off. Actually it was better than pleasant; David Gower would have been proud of that shot.
One of the less remarked influences of T20 is people applauding the edge that goes for four - like the batsman meant it @100ashesquotes
45th over: England 121-8 (Ali 10, Wood 16) One Mitchell replaces another, Marsh coming on for Starc. He looks a really good fifth bowler; as Nasser Hussain on Sky, a lot better than most of us thought he was. After an era of six batsmen, a keeper and four bowlers, the fifth bowlers is having a bit of a renaissance, perhaps a consequence of the workload on the main bowlers these days. If Marsh looks a good fifth bowler, then Wood looks a seriously good No10 batsman; he punches another lovely drive for four, this time through mid-off.
“If Australia can win this Test, then in these last three Ashes series that have been played in an almost back-to-back fashion, it will give Australia an aggregate victory of 7-6 – despite the fact that 10 of the 15 matches were played in England. Despite not retaining the ashes at the end of this series, I consider that a moral victory and is perhaps the best indicator of which team is stronger. Agree or disagree?” It’s a no from me. Mind you it’s interesting that, although England have won five of the last seven Ashes series, Australia have won more Tests in that time: 14-13.
44th over: England 117-8 (Ali 10, Wood 12) Wood is averaging 40 with the bat in this series, second only to Joe Root among Englishmen. Moeen is just below him, averaging 39, and works Siddle off the hip for a couple. That aside there is nothing to work with. Siddle bowls a lovely, challenging length.
43rd over: England 115-8 (Ali 8, Wood 12) More ominous inswing for Starc to Wood. I’m not sure anyone in world cricket has a higher jaffa-ratio than Starc, though mercifully for batsmen he bowls a fair bit of filth as well. Such as a very wide half-volley that Wood can’t quite reach with a flail outside off stump. You would expect Starc to tighten up as he plays more Test cricket, and heaven help everyone when he does. Wood gets the first runs off the bat this morning with a flowing cover drive for four. Shot!
“England’s strategy from here,” begins Matthew Tom. “Follow on, get to 61 ahead in their second innings, declare and give the ball to Broad.” Tbf that would be well banter.
42nd over: England 111-8 (Ali 8, Wood 8) Peter Siddle, the man who should have been brought in after Cardiff to sex down the Australian attack, starts from the other end to Moeen. He hits his optimum length straight away, just full of good, and it’s a maiden.
“Oh my!” says Steve Hudson. “Which bit of that Beefy video is funniest?? ‘You change nappies if you want to live, it’s a free country. That’s why my dad fought in the war’. ‘There are more deer now that in the time of Henry XIII. Fact.’”
41st over: England 111-8 (Ali 8, Wood 8) Mitchell Starc, Australia’s leading wicket-taker in the series with 18, gets things going. The bad news for England is that it’s swinging – or, as David Brent might say, I think there’s been some shape out there! The first ball is an inswinger that deflects off Mark Wood’s left leg for four leg-byes. Wood does well to clear his feet and dig out a yorker before being beaten by three consecutive deliveries outside off stump. This won’t take long.
The players are out. It’s a pretty damn gorgeous morning in south London. Normally you would say it looks like a perfect day for batting but, well, you know.
Cricket United today at The Oval, wear Blue if you can! Have a fun day. https://t.co/iMJVbNBmU1
“I was just listening to TMS as I pootled around the flat getting a few things done when I could swear I suddenly heard in the background the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme tune,” says Phil Sawyer. “Did any other OBOers hear this or did I hallucinate it? I mean, I realise as a soundtrack to England’s batting yesterday it’s pretty apt but it seems the unlikeliest of venues to hear it.”
Want to buy a funny, insightful, definitive history of the Ashes that contains a soupçon of concupiscent mischief? Good luck with that. But you can buy this if you like.
Gentlemen and Sledgers: A History of the Ashes in Quotations and Confrontations is available now. http://t.co/Z2jttd804k
The Sky chaps are talking about this no-ball business, which is all a bit strange. Some of those no-balls yesterday were huge. There’s clearly only one solution: make Walter Sobchak an umpire. (NB: Video contains lively language from the start.)
The follow on
There is some talk that Michael Clarke will not enforce the follow on so that he can bat again. In fact he might not want another innings; when a man is weary he just wants to sleep. Either way, he’ll surely do what’s best for the team. In a post-Kolkata world that normally means batting again, but because this is a dead game I suspect the let’s-get-this-done vibe will override any fear of losing the match. There’s a forecast for rain tomorrow as well. So I reckon Clarke will do the right thing and enforce the follow on to ensure I get a day off tomorrow.
I am a bit late to this, as I believe it was doing the rounds on the social media last week. But for those who haven’t seen it, it’s a comic treat.
An OBO isn’t an OBO until we’ve heard from Gary Naylor.
Sad news from Australia: Arthur Morris has died at the age of 93. He was probably Australia’s second greatest opener, after Victor Trumper, and was the leading scorer when the Invincibles hammered England 4-0 in 1948. In the final Test, at the Oval, he played an innings that was completely overshadowed by Donald Bradman’s duck. “I was there,” Morris would say when the subject of Bradman’s final innings came up. “Oh, did you play?” someone would ask. “Yes, I got 196.”
Morning. The 2015 Ashes would have tested even Kipling’s equilibrium. Triumph and disaster aren’t impostors; they’re the only friends we’ve got, the only friends who can help us process this unnervingly weird Ashes. Usually such knee-jerkism is the preserve of the risible football, but this series has been so daft as to make extreme reactions almost irresistible.
So it is that, on Thursday morning, England were an intrepid bunch of rare talents embarking on a journey towards world domination; today they are a flaky bunch of underachieving talents who can only win on doctored greentops. You don’t need me to tell you that the truth is somewhere inbetween, so that’s precisely what I’m going to do: the truth is somewhere inbetween.
A chipper Eoin Morgan is speaking to everyman Ian Ward:
“It was a great game of cricket to win,” he says. “You can learn a lot from a game that’s so tight. It reinforces the freedom which we want to play with.
20th over: 177-8 (Stoinis 10, Starc 0)
Ben Stokes holds his nerve superbly well, not just to get his lengths right but to help out with two run-outs, catching bullet throws from Morgan and Roy to run out two non-strikers.
Brilliant from Roy and then Stokes. Fat lady warming up with eight needed off the last ball...
A skewed hoik lands in the hands of Rashid at third man. Stokes holding his nerve.
19.3: Single down the ground for Stoinis. Nathan Coulter-Nile on strike.
9 needed from 3...
19.3: Fine leg is up and Stokes bowls a slower bouncer that is wided...
10 from 4
19.2: Stokes goes for a wide yorker. Stoinis swings and misses. Dot ball.
11 from 4...
11 from 5...
Miscommunication – none whatsoever, really – from Wade and Stoinis and there’s a run out at the non-striker’s end.
19th over: Australia 171-5 (Stoinis 6, Wade 1)
Smith smashes into the off-side for a single and he gets the strike back when Stoinis tucks one off his legs. But Smith goes hitting high into the leg-side and Billings takes a comfortable catch. Wade the new man but the batsmen crossed and Stoinis manages to find a four on the leg-side rope. Wade gets off the mark with his first ball for one and keeps the strike for the final over.
A tired looking shot from Smith as he hits high into the deep where Sam Billings takes the catch! A brilliant knock from the skipper...
20 from 12...
18th over: Australia 163-4 (Smith 89, Stoinis 1)
Poor from Moeen who allows a ball to slip through his legs for four. Marsh takes a single next ball to bring Smith back on strike. But when Marsh returns, he edges a well-disguised slower ball onto his stumps to give Topley his first international wicket. Marcus Stoinis comes out to bat on debut and he gets an easy single down the ground. Smith does the same to keep the strike. Topley finishes with 4-0-35-1.
A slower ball, out of the back of the hand, is edged onto his stumps by Marsh...
28 off 18 needed by Australia...
17th over: Australia 155-3 (Smith 87, Marsh 8)
David Willey returns and, after a fortuitous single from Marsh, he’s flicked around the corner by Smith, who steps right outside off-stump and uses his wrists to beat Finn at fine leg. Next ball, Smith hits the shot of the day by going inside-out over cover for six! Brilliant hands. Good comeback from Willey who takes pace off the ball as Smith finds thin air.
16th over: Australia 142-3 (Smith 76, Marsh 6)
Topley back. He’s around the wicket to Smith, who plays out a dot and then takes advantage of a slip from Billings to take two. A good wide yorker has Billings in action again, this time at deep point, for another couple. More good running gets Marsh two off the penultimate ball. A single means there is eight from Topley’s last six. Good going.
15th over: Australia 134-3 (Smith 71, Marsh 3)
Stokes punished by Smith yet again for bowling short as the Australia captain hits him to mid-wicket for four! Stokes is much better to Marsh, getting him forward and pushing into a heavily guarded off-side.
14th over: Australia 127-3 (Smith 66, Marsh 1)
Ali replaces Rashid and does superbly to concede just three runs and take the wicket of Maxwell, first ball. He’s helped by an excellent catch from Stokes, who is back into the attack...
Stunning catch from Stokes, who has to run to his right in the deep and dive to cling on to a tricky chance.
13th over: Australia 124-2 (Smith 64, Maxwell 44)
A couple for Smith brings up the 100 partnership off 62 balls. Great fielding from Billings saves another two but Finn, in his last over, is then clobbered into the stands for six! Huge, huge hit – certainly the biggest of the day. Two at the end of the over sees Finn finish with 4-0-39-1 today.
12th over: Australia 110-2 (Smith 51, Maxwell 43)
Rashid’s worst ball so far, a drag down, is thumped for six by Maxwell. Then Smith completes his fifty from 30 balls with a straight slap for four! Australia getting things done at a canter here...
11th over: Australia 96-2 (Smith 46, Maxwell 34)
Tight two is made by Smith, who gets some serious air-time with his dive and ensure he’s in his ground as Buttler takes out the stumps. He charges Stokes next ball but finds nothing but air. A slower ball is poorly bowled and Smith uses the width and shortness of the ball to beat backward point for four!
10th over: Australia 86-2 (Smith 38, Maxwell 33)
After staying in the crease for Rashid’s first over, Smith greets the start of his second with a skip and a thump over long on for six! He goes high to mid-off this time where Stokes does the fielding to keep it to one. Rashid goes flatter for the rest of the over and Australia pick up six more from the last four balls.
9th over: Australia 73-2 (Maxwell 30, Smith 28)
Ben Stokes replaces Topley and starts well before digging one in short that Smith works easily through square leg for four! A slash last ball bounces to Rashid at deep third man.
8th over: Australia 64-2 (Maxwell 29, Smith 22)
Leg-spin didn’t go particular well for Australia, with Boyce’s one over going for 19. But it’s a decent start for Rashid, who concedes four from his first five balls. The batsmen try for two off the last ball but Jason Roy does well to get to the ball and release quickly at deep midwicket to keep them honest.
7th over: Australia 59-2 (Maxwell 27, Smith 19)
Maxwell nearly drags Topley onto his stumps and gets four via an inside edge. Hales is then called into action on the point boundary but, having made up the ground, can’t keep the ball from running through him and onto the boundary sponge. A third four ends the over. as Maxwell picks up a length ball and hits it to midwicket.
6th over: Australia 45-2 (Maxwell 15, Smith 18)
Lovely straight drive from Smith for six– holds his shape and lofts it down the ground. Good pace from Finn keeps Maxwell honest as he tries to pull the ball square. Three overs, 1 for 25 is Finn’s lot so far.
5th over: Australia 37-2 (Smith 11, Maxwell 14)
Essex left-armer Reece Topley in for his first bowl in international cricket. He’ll change his pace well and normally swings it a bit, though it doesn’t look like there is much of that out there. One of those slower deliveries is just lifted over David Willey’s head at mid on. for four. Smith then chastises himself for finding Morgan at cover when he should have beaten him for four.
Finn looks to have bowled a good yorker but Maxwell whacks it down the ground for four. Maxwell then clatters one into his own foot and is nearly run out by Ben Stokes running in. A shy at the stumps allows one over-throw before Smith gets a short-ball to square leg for four. Not great from Finn, so far, and Morgan changes the field in a bid to get him to bowl outside off-stump. He does and is backed up accordingly by a great stop from Stokes at backward point.
3rd over: Australia 22-2 (Smith 1, Maxwell 9)
Maxwell carves Willey through cover for four, before showing a bit of finesse to roll with a short ball and help it around the corner for another.
Shane Watson out because he couldn't get the ball to hit his leg? Remarkable.
2nd over: Australia 12-2 (Smith 0, Maxwell 0)
Two fours and one comical demise. We’ll miss Watson when he decides he’s had enough. He defends one into the ground, which pops up and threatens his stumps. He then loses his balance as he tries to kick the ball away, misses it completely, and it nudges a bail off.
Oh Watto. Comical. Tries to kick a ball off his stumps, misses, gets bowled. Poor bloke.
1st over: Australia 4-1 (Watson 0)
Slow start from Willey, by his standards – 79mph first up and then just breaks the 80-mark and is hit through the covers for a couple. Better next ball as he squares up Warner and hits him in front, but too high. High over cover gives the left-hander another couple but he’s gone to the final ball as he gets a leading edge to Finn, who’s down at fine-leg.
Warner is squared up and offers the back of his bat – the ball flies high to Steven Finn, running in from long leg.
David Warner and Shane Watson to get Australia’s chase up and running. Warner to take the strike first.
England go with David Willey for the first over...
20th over: England 182-5 (Ali 72, Stokes 1)
Ali gets on strike after the first ball and slices gorgeously over point for four! Billings is then run out trying to get Moeen on strike. Just two singles to finish – decent end of the innings from Australia.
Billings tries to get Moeen on strike for the final two balls of the innings. He does so but loses his wicket in the process...
19th over: England 174-4 (Ali 66, Billings 1)
Cummins’ last over starts with a one over cover. Billings on strike now, 0 from 3, and he charges a short-ball, completely misreading it but at least getting Ali back on strike. Awkward deflection fine down the leg-side allows Moeen to get back for two. Good wide yorker from Cummins gets a single and then Billings is bowled a 94mph ball that cracks Billings on the kidney. Um, ouch.
18th over: England 168-4 (Ali 64, Billings 0)
Mid-off up in the ring for Mitchell Starc’s return and Buttler plays inside-out over cover for four! Mid-on’s up too, so there goes one in that area, this time for six! Starc’s thrown and sends one wide down the off-side. Then he finds that man – Pat Cummins – to end his cameo early, a demise greeted by sighs from the bleachers. Three dots end the over, as Billings is unable to get Starc away.
Buttler’s cameo is cut-short as he finds mid-on, having previous beaten the in-field for two boundaries in the over.
17th over: England 157-3 (Ali 64, Buttler 1)
Pace at both ends now as NCN returns and he gets the wicket of Morgan, who goes, holing out to long-on, for 74 from 39 balls (three fours, seven sixes). Jos Buttler comes to the crease, fresh (dusty) from Finals Day success. Off the mark with a single into the leg-side, first ball.
Next time Morgan says he wants 30 days off just say "yes"
Morgan goes straight again but can’t quite get this one out of the screws and Watson takes a composed catch, right on the long-on boundary.
16th over: England 152-2 (Ali 60, Morgan 74)
Extra pace the key it seems, so Cummins is back into the attack to bowl some full, heat. A series of singles are ended by a high full toss which Morgan smites over mid-on for six! And another six off the final ball, as Morgan reads a slower-ball and gets it over mid-wicket with ease.
15th over: England 136-2 (Ali 58, Morgan 60)
Morgan brings up the 100 partnership with a straight six off the first ball of the over from Watson. He’s back at it fourth ball to get to his fifty off 32 balls. Then straight again – three sixes off the over so far! Watto goes wide - too wide - to take the ropes out of the equation. The final ball is chipped down the ground, just short of the man at long-on.
Smith needs to go Full Lanning and bowl himself here. #ENGvAUS
14th over: England 114-2 (Ali 58, Morgan 39)
Chance to see some leg-spin from Cameron Boyce. After one ball, Ali’s seen enough to skip down and plant him back over his head for six! He drops his length further back and Ali can just wait at the crease and slap the ball to the leg-side fence tto bring up his fifty from 31 balls. Then he skips right down and smashes him for six over wide mid-on. Glorious, Mo.
13th over: England 95-2 (Ali 41, Morgan 37)
Outrageous from Morgan. Watson comes into the attack – god, I’ve missed him – and his short-ball is charged and deposited back over his head for six! Ali gets the strike and manages to get two from the last ball with a checked bunt through extra-cover. Starc does well to field the ball on the slide, saving the boundary.
12th over: England 84-2 (Ali 39, Morgan 28)
NCN back into the attack for his third over and he’s cramping Morgan for room, who manages to get Ali back on strike for the third ball. A thick top-edge clears short mid-wicket for two before a straighter, fuller ball is flicked comfortably to that part of the fence for four! He replicates that classy wrist-whip next ball, moving across his stumps and waiting till the final moment to work a ball on middle for four, inside fine leg up in the circle.
11th over: England 73-2 (Ali 29, Morgan 27)
Morgan not at his prettiest, here, but he’s being proactive in coming down the wicket to hit Marsh over mid-on for four! This is better, though, as he stays still and times the ball for a straight six, out of the ground! It’s a hit that takes him beyond Kevin Pietersen as England’s leading run-scorer in T20 cricket.
Round-arm from Maxwell and Ali picks off a single into the leg-side. Potential for a two off the second ball but Wade behind the stumps fields well, running into the plush, vacant green in the ring on the leg-side. The over ends with a single off every ball.
9th over: England 56-2 (Ali 26, Morgan 13)
Stoinis the debutant is given his first bowl in full Australian yellow and is carted for a six and then four, three balls in: both into the leg side, the six hammered glorious, on the move, over square leg. A change of pace means Moeen has to wait for the fourth ball, which he punches down the ground for one. Another short-one from Stoinis is mistimed to square leg by Morgan, but out of harm’s way. The over finishes with an Ali square drive for one.
This is only the 6th over of Stoinis' T20 career.
8th over: England 43-2 (Ali 14, Morgan 12)
Pace taken off the ball and replaced with pizzazz – it’s Glenn Maxwell. Morgan steps away and plays him off the pitch into the off-side for a single. Moeen does the same before Morgan does straight down the ground for a third. A missed sweep is followed by a short-arm jab. Mitchell Starc slips after a good stop and allows a third run.
7th over: England 37-2 (Ali 10, Morgan 9)
Mitchell Marsh into the attack and Moeen deposits him over cover for four! Marsh finishes the over out with a series of off-cutters which have Morgan out of sync but a short-ball gives him some relief as he works it around the corner for a second boundary. 10 from the over.
6th over: England 27-2 (Ali 5, Morgan 5)
Cummins continuing to impress, bowling heat and getting Moeen playing and missing. Three dot balls mean the silky left-hander is desperate for a single and it nearly costs him his wicket, as he picks out mid-on, who throws down the stumps. It’s only an ungainly dive that saves Moeen’s (turkey) bacon. Bit of class from Morgan, who picks up his first boundary off the final delivery of the Power Play with a lovely cover-drive.
C'mon, admit it: you want to buy that back foot drive from Moeen mojitos and take it to Paris for the weekend.
5th over: England 22-2 (Ali 4, Morgan 1)
Eoin Morgan defends a couple and gets a streaky single just inside gully. Then Moeen does that thing where he plays a shot that makes adults groan happy groans, punching off the back foot through extra-cover for four.
This is Eoin Morgan's first innings since his duck against Hampshire on 1st August
4th over: England 18-2 (Ali 1)
NCN off, Pat Cummins on – first ball moves into Hales and strikes pad. Sliding down pretty comfortably, but Hales looked a bit surprised by the arm speed. Then two consecutive full-tosses – another LBW shot then one that Hales edges onto his stumps. Moeen Ali comes in at three, gets a single, then Roy mistimes one high into the off-side, where NCN takes a good catch running backwards at cover.
Roy miscues one too many, skying the ball to NCN, who runs back to take a fine catch.
Undone for pace by a full toss, is Hales, who edges onto his stumps, having had a couple of LBW shouts against him turned down...
3rd over: England 17-0 (Roy 11, Hales 3)
Roy is happy enough with the surface and his own game to try and force the issue: he’s clearing his front leg to the first ball, then galloping down the wicket. Both for none, mind. Ah, there it is: a well controlled flick off his hip goes behind square on the leg side for four, beating the fielder stationed on the boundary. A miscue goes to that man – debutant Marcus Stoinis – next ball for a single.
2nd over: England 11-0 (Roy 6, Hales 2)
Nathan Coulter-Nile with the second over and Hales gets off the mark with a single straightaway. Roy skews high but safe towards third man and then both openers take a couple more singles to finish off.
1st over: England 7-0 (Roy 4, Hales 0)
First run comes second ball as Roy slaps a wide delivery on the top of its head to get it behind point for a couple. Starc then resorts to his Test match set which goes wide, wide, runs square of the wicket: Roy uses his hands to open the face and guide through point for two. Then another wide. The over ends with a missed hoik.
The players are out in the middle.
Hales and Roy to open the batting for England. Mitchell Starc will bowl the first over...
Speaking of the Women’s Ashes – England’s consolation win in the final Twenty20 means Australia regain the Ashes with a 10-6 scoreline.
Surrey allrounder Nat Sciver took 4-15 and saw England home with 47 from 44 balls. However, as Amy Lofthouse reports, the host’s batting remains a collection of errors and indecision...
England’s batting has grown progressively worse as the series has gone on. The promotion of Wyatt to open with Charlotte Edwards was intended to give them some early momentum, but Wyatt lasted only two balls. With no foot movement, Wyatt tried to drive and chopped Perry on to her stumps. Sarah Taylor capped off a poor Ashes series with her fifth single figure score, edging Rene Farrell behind for three.
Rightly or wrongly, England follow Edwards’ lead with the bat. If she falls, chances are the team will follow. Her dismissal, reaching at a wide Rene Farrell delivery and slapping it to backward point, rounded off a disappointing series.
AUSTRALIA WIN THE TOSS AND BOWL...
Having watched the Women’s Ashes Twenty20 match earlier, which England won by five wickets, Steve Smith - captaining in the absence of Aaron Finch – felt the ball would swing about. Eoin Morgan disagrees, saying he’d have batted anyway because he feels the surface looks good.
Here’s Ali Martin’s preview, featuring a recharged Eoin Morgan, who returns from a period of rest having not played a competitive match since 1 August...
I sat down with Gus and discussed the pros and cons of it,” said Morgan, who will captain England for the 33rd time in white-ball cricket. “He was understanding and brilliant in the way he managed it because he said the priority was English cricket, which is a tough decision as a director of cricket at a county team.
“We talked about the benefits of it and, sitting here now, I’m probably twice the man I was a month ago because of the hectic nature of the schedule. I feel really fresh. My attitude, my mind, my body is a lot better than it was a month ago. I’m raring to go. I can’t wait to get started.”
Come on – you didn’t think it would be that long before ANOTHER England-Australia bout, did you? Ah well, at least they’ve brought a change of clothes with them.
I’m a bit miffed why they are only playing the one T20I on this tour given there’s a World Twenty20 around the corner, in March of next year. There are three scheduled T20s for the UAE tour against Pakistan and two at the end of a long series in South Africa. They’ll no doubt play a few warm-ups when they get to India in late February. Will that be enough? Probably, yeah.
England were let down by their middle order after Jason Roy, Alex Hales and James Taylor gave their side a decent platform only for Australia to win by 59 runs
Well, that’s that. England were let down by their middle order for once, having relied on it throughout the Test series. Roy and Hales were fantastic, Taylor impressed, Morgan, Stokes and Buttler need to have a look at themselves. Moeen, on other hand, deserves a go higher up the order - but it’s hard to see where. At No3 perhaps? But then Root would normally be there. It’s a tricky one.
Starc bowled like a drain in the opening overs of the second innings, but then hauled it back but Cummins was the most impressive of the Australia bowlers. Twenty-two years old, bowling consistently and accurately at 93mph is an exciting prospect indeed. Thanks for reading, see you all for the next one.
Finn goes again, attempting to swing Cummins over the midwicket boundary. He misses again, and the ball thumps into his middle pole. And that’s that: Australia win comprehensively after appearing to be decidedly on the back foot when Roy and Hales were at the crease.
46th over: England 244-9 (Wood 10, Finn 8) Target 306 Finn heaves Cummins with all he has, but doesn’t time it. The ball lollops into the midwicket for a couple. He attempts to repeat the trick next ball, getting down on one leg a la Viv, and missing the ball by the small matter of three or possibly four yards. But finally …
45th over: England 244-9 (Wood 10, Finn 8) Target 306 Starc bowls his final over of the night, keen to bang the final nail into England’s coffin. But Wood and Finn are in resilient mood, chopping their bats down onto anything full and straight to frustrate him. England need 62 from 30 balls with one wicket remaining.
44th over: England 241-9 (Wood 9, Finn 6) Target 306 Finn throws the kitchen sink at Cummins, but the ball dribbles to midwicket. Aware that a short ball was on the menu, Finn then back away to leg and hoiks him to midwicket for one. Cummins has bowled well tonight - very fast and very accurate, or he was right up until a filthy leg side wide. Finn and Wood manage to scramble six from the over.
43rd over: England 235-9 (Wood 8, Finn 2) Target 306 Finn gets off the mark with an edge as Starc goes full and straight. Wood scrambles one and Starc continues to aim for the base of Finn’s stumps, with the batsman wearing an expression that more or less says: what’s the point in this. Starc follows up with a short one that catches Finn on the ribs, drawing a smile from batsman and bowler, before Finn is caught on the fingers at 91mph. Good luck Finny. Still, a thick edge to third man looks destined to cross the boundary until Burns dives at full stretch to deny him four.
Mooen hooks desperately, but top edges and the ball skies up to midwicket. Marsh is under it and takes the catch confidently. The game is very nearly up.
42nd over: England 232-8 (Moeen 17, Wood 7) Target 306 Wood pushes a 90mph Cummins delivery for one, to allow Moeen to just about hook a bouncer aimed sharply at his head for a single. Wood then wears one and runs, but is somewhat surprised to see Cummins sprint past him, pick up, and nearly hurl down the stumps to almost run him out at the bowler’s end. Then …
41st over: England 229-8 (Moeen 16, Wood 5) Target 306 In comes Mark Wood, England’s No10, with his side needing 86 from 59 balls. Smith brings in a slip as Starc attempts to do a Rashid to Wood, drifting the ball away from him and searching for the edge. Wood obliges, but thick edges the ball past Smith at first slip for four. A single brings Moeen on strike - a man who forever has the mournful look of a man who deserves better than to be batting at this end of the innings with the tail chasing a hopeless cause. He drives Starc stunningly through the covers for four, the shot apparently absolutely no effort whatsoever. What has Moeen done to deserve this?
Starc comes around the wicket, drifts the ball away from Rashid and the batsman reaches for it but can only edge behind.
40th over: England 220-7 (Moeen 12, Rashid 11) Target 306 Cummins bowls a slower ball - at 84mph. Rashid dabs him to backwards point for a single, bringing Moeen on strike to allow him to languidly drive the bowler over his head for four. It’s such a nice shot that even David Gower – a player who stylistically Mooen is a pretty good cover version of – is purring in the commentary box. Rashid survives an LBW shout, before Moeen carves another couple into the off side.
39th over: England 211-7 (Moeen 5, Rashid 10) Target 306 Starc comes back into the attack, with Smith looking to wrap things up quickly. Starc is aiming to bowl yorkers but his first effort is a full toss, and his second effort is one too. Moeen gets his eye in with the first, then drives the second for four. Starc retaliates with a leg side wide and it’s safe to say this isn’t quite what Smith had in mind. Mooen misses out on what is a mixed last few balls. Cummins is coming on at the other end.
38th over: England 206-7 (Moeen 1, Rashid 10) Target 306 Moeen gets off the mark with a gentle push for one, before Rashid gets another boundary - this one streakier - with an edge through the vacant slips. More deliberately, he runs one fine to the third man boundary for a couple more at the end of the over. If ever there was a time for a nuggetty Graham Thorpe innings, this is it.
37th over: England 199-7 (Moeen 0, Rashid 4) Target 306 Coulter-Nile has put Australia in the ascendency with a somewhat strange, potentially match-winning over. A length, driveable delivery did for Buttler. Some leg-side filth sent Woakes packing, while his potential hat-trick delivery to Rashid was a full toss (an attempt at a yorker) which the batsman leading-edged. A wide followed, before Rashid clubbed a four through the covers. Still, Coulter-Nile will take them as he gets them.
Coulter-Nile bowls a horrid leg-side delivery, that Woakes attempts to pull. Instead, he tickles his first ball behind to the keeper. A good, old fashioned England collapse! Coulter-Nile on a hat-trick.
Now Buttler goes, his summer of dodgy form still in full effect. He slaps a drive from a full Coulter-Nile delivery straight to Marsh at mid-off, who takes a good catch.
36th over: England 194-5 (Buttler 3, Moeen 0) Target 306 At the end of the 36th over, Australia were 192-5, which will give you some idea of how much Australia have come back into this. Watson is proving hard to get away, and surprised Morgan with that short ball. Still, Morgan shouldn’t be getting out to balls like that.
Oh dear. Watson dragged a slow, short one down the leg side and, in attempting to hit the ball out of the ground, Morgan edged behind to Wade to give the bowler his second wicket. Less eyes from Watto this time as Morgan exits stage left.
35th over: England 192-4 (Morgan 37, Buttler 3) Target 306 Starc is taken out of the attack, his four remaining overs being kept in hand for the end of the innings. Morgan works Coulter-Nile off his hip for two, then thrashes him over Maxwell’s head at point (who appeared not to see it) for four. A timed push through the covers brings Morgan two more, before he works a final single. His strike rate has ticked up to 88ish.
34th over: England 183-4 (Morgan 28, Buttler 3) Target 306 Watto returns and Morgan welcomes him back with a controlled slog over mid-off for four. That one was for Taylor. A single brings Buttler on strike, and he carves a cut to the point boundary for two, before Watson beats him later in the over with a neat leg cutter. Drinks!
33rd over: England 176-4 (Morgan 23, Buttler 1) Target 306 Stokes’s 13 from 23 balls was, in truth, a bit of a struggle. That clubbed four at the end of Maxwell’s over seemed to convince him that he could hit his way out of the slump and he certainly connected with a hittable delivery from Starc well - but simply picked out the man. Buttler gets a brilliant Starc yorker second ball. The bowler has put his poor first spell behind him and is now looking far more threatening than when Roy and Hales were pumping him around the place. 130 from 102 balls.
Stokes finally middles one, but does so straight to Burns at midwicket who catches a simple, if very firmly struck, chance.
32nd over: England 172-3 (Morgan 20, Stokes 13) Target 306 Maxwell is bowling very well: tight and tough to hit. Stokes, meanwhile, is twitchy and desperate to get going. He’s beaten all ends up by Maxwell’s second delivery, but gets away with slicing a quicker ball to third man. Stokes figures power is the way forward, so heaves Maxwell to cow corner and despite not timing it, scrapes four.
31st over: England 165-3 (Morgan 20, Stokes 6) Target 306 Starc continues to get the ball to swing, getting some sharpish drift into the left-handed Stokes. The batsmen again drives straight down the ground - this time into it first - and Starc again sticks out a hand to stop the ball from thudding to the boundary. The required rate has just gone up over seven as the pace drifts out of the England innings. A single from this over.
30th over: England 164-3 (Morgan 20, Stokes 5) Target 306 Maxwell, who has gone at 4.75 thus far and has taken a wicket to boot, is back for his fifth over. Stokes attempts a kitchen-sink reverse sweep and the ball thuds into Wade’s gloves. The keeper goes up in high excitement, convinced of an edge. Umpire Joe Wilson looks baffled. Wade, though, doesn’t even wait for Smith’s opinion on the matter, and simply reviews it immediately. The third umpire Kumar Dharmasena sees clear daylight between bat and ball, sticks with the on-field decision, and Wade wanders off to book himself a hearing test. Australia have no reviews left.
29th over: England 161-3 (Morgan 19, Stokes 3) Target 306 England will be pleased to see Starc back in the attack and Stokes celebrates the fact by crushing him back down the ground, whereupon he is very nearly caught and bowled by the expensive bowler. Starc sticks out a hand but, in truth, it would have been a very, very good take. Perhaps the umpire ought to be thanking him, had he not stopped it, it would have taken Michael Gough’s head off. Starc is getting a bit of movement out of the ball, a touch of in-swing.
John Starbuck is back, pitching his novel. Anyone from Macmillan reading? “‘I, Miss Thorpe’ doesn’t have to be written by an actual woman. After all, 24 for 3 by Jennie Walker (2007) wasn’t. But it could start with a putative First Person narrating her crush on the great man, posters on the walls, test and county cricket match programmes (some signed) etc. Then her dad insists she’s got to give up this obsession and be ‘normal’; buying 1D merchandise (before it’s too late for them), giving up her old-fashioned whites, ODI shirts and so on. She worms her way into Thorpe’s life as a stalker before being committed; then she recovers by meeting a chance young batsman - Joe Root, who’s have thought it?I’d offer to do this myself it it wasn’t so much of a fag and I don’t need the money.
28th over: England 160-3 (Morgan 19, Stokes 2) Target 306 Perhaps Morgan can sit in here and play the anchor role. He still doesn’t look right, but can maybe lean on Stokes at the other end to smack the ball about once he’s played himself in. England need under six an over, so there is time for that. Coulter-Nile is bustling in and Morgan and Stokes takes turns to clip him for singles. Before Morgan says “screw the anchor role, Bryant” and thumps the bowler straight back over his head for a one bounce four.
27th over: England 154-3 (Morgan 14, Stokes 1) Target 306 Watson really gave Taylor the eyeballs then, grimacing from his 6ft 1in frame as the 3ft 2in Taylor trotted past on his way back to the pavilion. Perhaps the stare was simply Watson trying to see Taylor all the way down at his knees. Either way, it was very funny. A shame for Taylor not to make a few more runs - but he got out trying to keep the momentum of the innings up, so the team can hardly criticise him.
First Taylor gets his share of edge-based luck. He steps down the wicket, swishes, and inside-edges the ball to fine leg but then … he does exactly the same again, swishes across the line, misses and Watson clears him up. Watto gives him a cheery send-off as he goes too, which is nice.
26th over: England 148-2 (Taylor 45, Morgan 13) Target 306 Coulter-Nile is back in the attack, and Smith brings in a slip for Morgan. The England captain hasn’t looked entirely at home. Nothing you can put your finger on, just not quite comfortable. He cuts and misses Coulter-Nile, to a ruefully shaken head from Smith. A drive to deep cover brings him one, but he looks perplexed and unable to find a groove as yet. He averages 72 here at the Aegeas Bowl, so give him time.
@TomBry any idea what smith keeps taking out of his pockets to shake?
25th over: England 146-2 (Taylor 44, Morgan 12) Target 306 Watson is back, as willing and mobile as a dustcart on a bank holiday pick-up run. Still, he’s bowling full and straight while Morgan and Taylor scamper ones and twos. A fine flick from Taylor deserved four but is fielded well and brings him only two as he nears a well-deserved 50.
Marie Meyer, of 17th over fame is back with her opinion of The Fratellis: “Sorry I asked. I now need eye, ear and brain bleach.” Still, The Fratellis probably don’t much care. They must be living like kings from the royalties on that bad boy.
24th over: England 140-2 (Taylor 39, Morgan 10) Target 306 By the end of the 24th over, Australia were 118-1. But the fielding side are coming into the game now having lost control in the early overs. Maxwell has given them more of a grip on the game while Cummins has bowled well at the other end. The batsmen work Maxwell around the ground, taking him for five from the over but not getting on top of him either.
23rd over: England 135-2 (Taylor 36, Morgan 9) Target 306 Cummins, still fast and full, is unlucky. He catches Morgan on the crease and the England captain inside edges the ball in between bat and pad with the ball missing off stump by a matter of molecules. Morgan gets four for it but could just as well be heading back to the changing room. A replay appears to show the ball actually touching the stumps, it was that close.
22nd over: England 128-2 (Taylor 34, Morgan 4) Target 306 It’s chilly in Hampshire, the crowd pulling on warm coats and woolly hats. From the sounds of it, a few tentative Mexican waves are being attempted too. What warms the England fans up further, though, is a lofted, straight drive from Taylor down the ground for four.
“Did I miss the bit where the OBO invites readers to contribute to a crowd funding site so as to inveigle a novelist-hack to write the definitive sports book of the decade ‘I Miss Thorpe’?” asks John Starbuck. “There must be a few people up for it, preferably a woman, as a slight twist and misleading title. Any contenders?” ‘I, Miss Thorpe’ could simply be her autobiography.
21st over: England 122-2 (Taylor 29, Morgan 3) Target 306 Cummins continues, and Morgan gets off strike with a single, before Taylor - almost a blur, so fast is he moving, jumping and swinging at the crease - bottom edges him to the keeper. Taylor shakes it off with a succulent drive through the covers. He’s 29 off 32 now, a busy little innings of quirky, jittery but self-assured accumulation.
20th over: England 117-2 (Taylor 25, Morgan 2) Target 306 Morgan prods, cuts, dabs then swipes Maxwell, finally getting off the mark with that swipe. It was a mad run though, and Taylor is very close to being run out at the keeper’s end. A direct hit from Watson would have had him. Taylor bunts a single to mid-on, before Morgan carves another through point.
19th over: England 114-2 (Taylor 24, Morgan 0) Target 306 Cummins returns at the other end, with Smith keen to test a new batsman at one end and Taylor shuffling around all over the place with extreme pace. Taylor pulls him fluently but is prevented from getting four by an excellent piece of boundary fielding from someone or other, which I slightly missed because Smyth was showing me Ian Wright goals on YouTube. A testing over from Cummins - full, fast, straight - goes for just two.
Roy dances down the pitch, swishes a little wildly and slices the ball straight to Warner at point, who makes no mistake at all.
18th over: England 112-1 (Roy 64, Taylor 20) Target 306 Smith turns to Maxwell for a little spin, and he may as well do something because England are cruising here. Roy and Taylor are sprinting, Bolt-like, between the wickets however and milk him for ones that should be dots and twos that should be ones until …
17th over: England 107-1 (Roy 64, Taylor 20) Target 306 Watson rumbles in, aiming at Taylor’s pads figuring he’s as just as much of an lbw candidate as he himself is. Taylor knows what he’s up to and keeps shuffling down the wicket, getting as far down the pitch as possible to negate Watson’s chances. Fed up with this, Watto threatens to throw down Taylor’s stumps when the batsman prods a forward defence back to him. “Woooooo!” got the crowd.
“Hi Tom,” Hi Toms Marie Meyer. “What is that wordless song that plays at cricket grounds? Deh dah lum, deh dah lum, deh dah lum, deddy deddy deddy deh dah lum.” It is the execrable Chelsea Dagger by The Fratellis, Marie.
16th over: England 105-1 (Roy 63, Taylor 19) Target 306 Marsh is flat-batted for one to deep square for Roy, before Taylor - all wrists, elbows and movement – dabs him for another single. Roy mistimes Marhs’s next delivery, a slow, half-tracker. The ball loops up to deep midwicket but lands safely enough in No Man’s Land for a couple of runs. Taylor brings the 100 up with a neat pull to deep square leg, Burns diving to stop the ball but simply tapping it onto the ropes instead. Eleven off the over.
15th over: England 94-1 (Roy 59, Taylor12) Target 306 Well, that six was certainly one way of letting everyone know he was there. Taylor is busy at the crease to Watson in the next over, dabbing a late cut to third man, running a furiously quick two, then edging just short of Wade behind the stumps. A scampered single through midwicket brings him another run. “What do you make of Australia’s start,” Michael Holding is asked in the Sky commentary box. There follows a brief pause before a characteristically slow, distinctive, elegant and utterly damning: “… not very impressive”.
14th over: England 90-1 (Roy 58, Taylor 9) Target 306 Roy and Taylor trade singles, before Marsh concedes the first extra of the innings: a filthy wide down the leg side. Roy figures he has the measure of Marsh, and plays the most wonderful backfoot, leg drive for four through midwicket. A delicious piece of timing. Taylor is more agricultural, charging down the track and swinging Marsh high over his head for a straight six. The bowler gives him quite the look immediately afterwards.
13th over: England 75-1 (Roy 52, Taylor 1) Target 306 Shane Watson is into the attack, giving Hales further fuel to kick himself back in the pavilion. He warms up by bowling a loosener to mid off, who lets it go straight through his legs to the boundary for the biggest cheer of the day. Watson’s first ball proper is reminiscent of the tin man before an oil change as lumbers stiffly up to the crease. Roy takes a single, then Taylor gets off the mark courtesy of a rare misfield from Warner at point. Roy’s 50 comes up with a glide to third man for two. That’s 51 from 49 balls and includes 10 fours. A quick single finishes the over.
12th over: England 70-1 (Roy 48, Taylor 0) Target 306 Hales will be furious with himself, he got caught in two minds - hitting the ball for six or four. Instead, he simply chipped to Watson. Marsh will bowl better wicket-taking balls.
Joe Root James Taylor trots out to the crease to prove that he should have been in the side for years. Somewhat optimistically, he trots down the wicket to the last ball of the over and nearly yorks himself. Wicket maiden.
“Jason Roy’s cover drive is looking quite the thing at the moment. Imposing! A little Pietersen-esque, no?” Harry Tuttle there, putting the curse on Roy.
Oh, Hales! Marsh sends down a half-tracker that should be on its way to Portsmouth. But Hales gets it wrong and simply chips the ball to Watson at short midwicket.
11th over: England 70-0 (Roy 48, Hales 22) Target 306 Cummins touches 94mph as Hales taps him through extra cover for a single, finding a sweeper on the boundary. Roy then plays him delightfully, touching Cummins delicately through the vacant slips for four. And swivelled pull follows for more of the same as Cummins’s line drifts down the leg. A good over for England, and Roy is looking ominously good.
10th over: England 61-0 (Roy 40, Hales 21) Target 306 Mitchell Marsh comes into the attack after having been targeted during the T20 game. Will be interesting to see if he gets the treatment today … and he does. Hales takes a single off his first delivery, before Roy tickles him fine for four, then squarer for another one. There’s a shortish fine leg in and Roy sent the ball both side of him for each of those boundaries, much to Steve Smith’s irritation. Marsh gets some revenge, dropping the ball shorter and catching Roy in his gentleman’s area but it’s hard to know whether the batsman’s in pain or simply annoyed his didn’t smack a hittable ball out of the park. It swings the momentum Marsh’s way and he doesn’t concede another run from the over.
@TomBry I'm one of those 70s born Sth londoners that grew up thinking if Thorpe was in we had a chance. And Bickers should have played more
9th over: England 52-0 (Roy 32, Hales 20) Target 306 There’s a slip in for Cummins, who is bowling consistently quickly - 90, 91, 92mph. Roy blocks him, and looks furious with himself for allowing a maiden on his watch.
8th over: England 52-0 (Roy 32, Hales 20) Target 306 Hales is unlucky after a sprawling, diving stop from Bailey at mid-on deprives him of the four he deserved after a full-blooded straight drive off Coulter-Nile. Another big drive brings him one, before the bowler drops it short and Roy brings up England’s 50 with a pulled four through square leg. This is a wonderful opening partnership from England: cue a wicket.
6th over: England 40-0 (Roy 21, Hales 19) Target 306 Coulter-Nile digs a short one in at Roy, who swings like an Essex housewife. Result: a top-edged four over his head down to fine leg that was nearly a six. Roy pulls him again, this time for one, as Smith turns to Cummins and tells him to start warming up.
5th over: England 35-0 (Roy 16, Hales 19) Target 306 Smith brings an extra fielder into the covers to give Starc some protection through the off side. Roy picks him out immediately as Starc, left-handed and over the wicket, straightens his line. Roy late cuts for one, before Hales top edges high, high, high over square leg and just over the boundary for a lucky six. Starc, furious that Hales has pulled him off a length (albeit fortuitously), over-compensates, over-pitches and he’s drilled straight down the ground for four. Starc’s gone for 29 off three overs.
4th over: England 24-0 (Roy 15, Hales 9) Target 306 Hales gets an 88mph bumper from Coulter-Nile just to remind him where he is and who he’s playing. From the fifth ball of the over, Hales drives expansively but mistimes it - the bat making the sort of noise that would have meant an unpleasant judder up the arm before they started building the things the size of sleepers. Another bouncer rounds out a maiden over.
3rd over: England 24-0 (Roy 15, Hales 9) Target 306 A ridiculous over in which both Hales and Roy are lucky to survive but also blast Starc all around the ground. After pushing the bowler square through the offside for four, Hales runs a mad single to Maxwell - who is one of sharper fielders around. His throw misses the stumps by an inch with Hales well short. No matter, it gets Roy up the other end and he flicks Starc up and over square leg for a four that falls short of being a six by a centimetre. Starc gets a look on his coupon but a moment later, he nearly has Roy caught at mid-off from a defensive prod - the ball falls just short of Bailey - before Roy thumps the bowler through the covers for four. A good start for England, but they could equally be two down.
2nd over: England 11-0 (Roy 7, Hales 4) Target 306 Coulter-Nile has pace and Roy is watchful until he gets too straight and the batsman times him from middle through square leg for four. When Coulter-Nile drops a little short, Roy takes another two through the same area.
Oh good lord, am I this obvious?
@TomBry"missing Thorpe" could be a title for a nick hornby-esque novel featuring a south London cricket loving 30 something. I know plenty
1st over: England 5-0 (Roy 1, Hales 4) Target 306 Roy blocks the first two deliveries from Starc, the No1 ODI bowler in the world, before having more of a swing at his third but inside edging onto his pads. Starc is getting the ball to move in the air, swinging it in to the right-handed Roy, who hooks his fourth ball around the corner for a single. Hales, tall at the crease, pushes a lovely four through the covers from the last ball of the over.
Hales and Roy are wandering out to the middle, swishing bats, practising shots, whirling their arms around their heads and, in Roy’s case, attempting a quick two-step. Play!
This is essentially what England have been trying to do ever since New Zealand turned up.
#OnThisDay 1978: If two negatives make a positive, this attempt to combine cricket and baseball should be great! https://t.co/z8NhlEWcwx
The last time England chased down 306 (and they’ve only gone past 305 twice before - though once was, of course, earlier in the summer against New Zealand), they did so quite slowly - with Alec Stewart getting a golden duck, Nasser Hussain hitting 75 from 155 balls, fifties from Hick and Thorpe and an out and out slog from Flintoff. I miss Thorpe.
Ah, the strange up and down world of being an England cricket fan: for every bloke who tweets this …
Evening all: once upon a time the thought of chasing a target of 306 would have been enough for England to have walked off the pitch and metaphorically headed straight onto the team bus and headed home. It will be interesting to see how they tackle the chase now, and Hales for one probably needs to step up. Having given it some big talk regarding his Test ambitions, he probably needs to do something about his ODI scores (which, as Smyth points out next to me, haven’t exactly been helped by the way he’s been messed about by being shoved in and out of the side). I for one, am part of the Hales supporter’s club – he could be something very special.
50th over: Australia 305-6 (Wade 71, Marsh 40) Woakes will bowl the last over. He has been the best of England’s seamers and has been encouragingly accurate with the yorker. But the margin for error is so small, and Mitchell Marsh reminds him of that when he smokes a low full toss back over his head for six to take Australia past 300. They finish on 305 for six, thanks to a very good partnership of 112 from Wade and Marsh. England need 306 to win. They would have taken that after 20 overs, though not after 40. It should be an excellent chase. Indie frontman Tom Bryant will be with you for that in half an hour. Thanks for your emails. Bye!
49th over: Australia 294-6 (Wade 70, Marsh 30) The penultimate over of the innings, bowls by Wood, disappears for 13. Wade hits consecutive boundaries with a sweet swing over mid-off and a pull that may have brushed the fingertips of Hales, swooping on the square-leg boundary. This is now Australia’s highest seventh-wicket partnership in ODIs against England. Wood ends with figures of 10-0-72-1.
“If you’re going to use the formal “Mr Smyth” (44th over), you can’t precede it with “Hi”,” says Nick Lewis. “We’ll all be chewing gum next…”
48th over: Australia 281-6 (Wade 59, Marsh 28) Woakes is dealing almost exclusively in the yorker. After only three runs from the first four balls, Wade premeditates a walk across his stumps to scoop a yorker from outside off stump to the fine-leg boundary. Superb stuff.
47th over: Australia 274-6 (Wade 54, Marsh 26) With an extra man outside the ring England seem to have rediscovered the yorker, or at least the attempted yorker, after all that slower-ball bouncer nonsense at the World Cup. Wood tries a couple in that over, and keeps Australia’s batsmen to four singles and a two from the first five balls That’s enough for Wade to reach an important half-century, full of street wisdom, from 40 balls. He celebrates by slapping a boundary through mid-off to make it 10 from the over. Australia have recovered brilliantly; these two have added 77 from just 10 overs.
“Question for Michael Richards,” says James Walsh. “What’s the general position of Korfballers on the Half Man Half Biscuit song written for the 2010 European Korfball Championships, Joy In Leeuwarden (We Are Ready)? Joy or bafflement?” There might be a third option.
46th over: Australia 264-6 (Wade 46, Marsh 24) Woakes’s success, or otherwise, as a death bowler will probably determine whether he has a long-term future in this side. His seventh over goes for 10, though the only boundary came from a genuine edge by Wade.
45th over: Australia 254-6 (Wade 40, Marsh 20) Not for the first time today, a decent over is tarnished by a last-ball boundary. This time Wade top edges a Stokes slower ball to the fence to make it nine from the over.
44th over: Australia 245-6 (Wade 33, Marsh 18) Wade walks across his stumps to help Woakes around the corner for four, and then Marsh brings up the fifty partnership from only 41 balls. It has been an excellent demonstration of how to rebuild at eight an over without swinging the bat willy nilly. They might yet reach 300.
“Hi Mr Smyth or Rob (depending on your preference),” says Michael Richards. “Perchance a topic for the innings break? The ODI series signals the end of the cricketing summer and our thoughts turn towards winter sporting activities. Some of us will be eschewing your standard football or rugby options and playing something that’s reported on a little less in your august publication i.e. Korfball. What’s Korfball? I’m glad you asked! Manchester Korfball Club @manckorfball (picking my own team as a random example) train on Thursday evenings 8pm-10pm at Sale Leisure Centre and September is free for new player to come try our sport! (a lot of clubs will let beginners try for free as we try to grow the sport). Any mention you could send our way would be much appriciated and if any of you or any of your colleagues fancy coming down and having a go we’d love to see you.”
43rd over: Australia 236-6 (Wade 28, Marsh 15) Wade flashes Stokes past the flying backward point – Roy this time, because Stokes is bowling. Wade then survives an LBW shout. The ball would have hit the stumps but the commentators and presumably the umpire think there was an inside edge. Another decent over from Australia, eight from it.
42nd over: Australia 228-6 (Wade 21, Marsh 14) Chris Woakes returns to the attack and, after a good first five balls, he is blasted through the covers for four by Mitchell Marsh. Ach and bah. Australia could still get around 280 here, which would give the world’s best white-ball bowler, Mitchell Starc, plenty to bowl at.
“What about music that you used to think was utter dross but now realise that it’s wonderful?” says Andy English. “I am referring to Pearl Jam. I was never a fan of them during my formative teenage years, when their first album (Ten) came out. But I now appreciate the genius of Mr Vedder et al. I even went to see them last year all on Jack Jones, my wife is yet to fully convert.”
41st over: Australia 222-6 (Wade 20, Marsh 8) Wade steers a short ball from Finn just past the flying Stokes at backward point. I think Stokes might have got a fingertip on it, and he puts his hands to his head in frustration that he couldn’t take what was maybe a tenth of a chance. That says plenty about Stokes. Wade is playing well and hustles a full ball through midwicket for four more.
“I too am at a loss to describe the painful-to-watch horrorshow that is Shane Watson’s summer,” says Ant Pease. “As an Englishman, the best I have with which to summarise is that I’m starting to feel genuinely sorry for him.” For an Australian cricketer, there can be no greater insult.
40th over: Australia 211-6 (Wade 11, Marsh 6) Wade, who is back in the limited-overs teams after losing his place to Brad Haddin for a couple of years, paddles Moeen round the corner for four. Marsh then makes room to drive a fine boundary over mid-off. Eleven from the over.
“If Ian Bell is watching, he might allow himself a smile to see Steve Smith caught off a filthy full toss from a leg-spinner?” says Tim Sanders.
39th over: Australia 200-6 (Wade 6, Marsh 2) This is a perfect demonstration of the value of taking wickets in the middle overs. Australia are having to regroup at two or three an over, although the moment I type that Wade times Finn down the ground for four to bring up the 200. Still, they have only scored 24 from the last seven overs, and will do very well to reach 300 from here.
“I’m not having Ultrasound mentioned in such dire company as Hurricane #1 and Thom Yorke’s brother’s band,” says James Walsh. “They belatedly reformed a few years ago and remain utterly magnificent. And I’m not just saying this because I fancy the bassist.”
38th over: Australia 195-6 (Wade 1, Marsh 1) Moeen rattles through an over in a couple of minutes while I try to think of an appropriate way to describe the woes of Shane Watson. I failed.
37th over: Australia 193-6 (Wade 0, Marsh 0) Rashid finishes a really good afternoon’s work with figures of 10-0-59-4. That run-out was a complete farce.
Shane Watson’s summer of farce continues. Matthew Wade takes a truly appalling run to Stokes in the covers, and Watson is miles short when Jos Buttler takes the throw and breaks the stumps.
36th over: Australia 192-5 (Watson 5, Wade 0)“I see David Hopkins’ JJ72 and raise him Hurricane #1, Ultrasound and Unbelievable Truth,” says Ian Davies. “In one week I saw all three bands at the same venue (Clwb Ifor Bach). Given that I haven’t listened to any of their musical offerings in about 25 years I may have been better off utilising my university funds elsewhere (like food and socks without holes).”
This is a huge wicket, and Glenn Maxwell has very, very, very, very reluctantly accepted the decision. He tried to flick a poor delivery from Wood and was smartly taken down the leg side by Jos Buttler. I suspect Maxwell thought it might not have carried, though replays suggest it was fine. He had the option to review if he wanted, although there was no question about the edge. As he walks off, Maxwell is wearing quite the affronted coupon. England have quietly got themselves into an excellent position.
35th over: Australia 191-4 (Maxwell 15, Watson 4) The wicket of Bailey has slowed Maxwell down for the time being, because he knows Australia can’t afford to lose him in the next couple of overs. That means Rashid can sneak through his penultimate over without conceding a boundary. Six from the over. England will take that at this stage. That’s drinks.
“I certainly hope that The Bluetones have stood the test of time, else my tickets to see their reunion in four weeks will be most disappointing,” says Andrew Hewitt. “Oh well, I’ll just have to get smashed on cider like the good old days and keep an eye out for Swann and Jimmy.”
34th over: Australia 185-4 (Maxwell 11, Watson 2) The value of taking wickets was made clear in that Mark Wood over, because only three runs came from it.
“You’d be surprised, Stephen Connor,” says Tom Atkins. “We didn’t last long – our career peaked at Dingwalls in Camden when we supported a Russian band whose following contained a large number of very big, energetic, shaven-headed Russian men. I quit and became an accountant soon afterwards.”
33rd over: Australia 182-4 (Maxwell 9, Watson 1) The new batsman is Shane Watson, who for all the Test-match laugh-out-LOLs has an awesome limited-overs record, even if most of his runs have been scored in the top three. Bailey, incidentally, was plumb – in fact it was hitting middle stump. Really well bowled. Maxwell misses an almighty yahoo at a wide delivery that spins past the edge. Rashid has interesting figures of 8-0-52-4.
Rashid has four! This was an authentic wicket, a quicker delivery that skidded on to hit Bailey on the back foot in front of leg stump. Bailey looks hacked off, though I’m not sure whether that’s with the decision or his inability to pick Rashid. We haven’t seen a replay but it looked to be hitting leg stump.
32nd over: Australia 177-3 (Bailey 23, Maxwell 5) Maxwell gets off the mark with an absolutely beautiful back-foot drive for four off Wood. That’s a ridiculous shot to play off your first delivery. A poor over from Wood goes for 13, with Bailey crashing an extra-cover drive for four off the final delivery. He has 23 from 15.
31st over: Australia 164-3 (Bailey 15, Maxwell 0) Rashid (7-0-47-3) has taken two wickets with full tosses, though England won’t really care – the wicket of Smith is a really big one. Although it does bring Glenn Maxwell to the crease.
“Just googled ‘Tom Atkins Band’ to see if it might shed some light on whether we were in the presence of Britpop minor royalty,” says Stephen Connor. “Ominously it said‘Some results may have been removed under data protection law in Europe.’ Surely they can’t have been that bad?”
Adil Rashid strikes again with his magic ball: the full toss. Smith, who had driven the previous ball for six, swung it high towards cow corner, where Stokes took a comfortable running catch. Smith, you don’t need me to tell you, is not entirely enamoured with the manner of his dismissal.
30th over: Australia 155-2 (Smith 38, Bailey 12) Wood replaces Moeen (6-0-24-0), who has relatively economical figures but was being milked with increasing ease. Smith has two fortunate escapes, edging through the vacant slip cordon for four and then screwing a drive fractionally short of Rashid at mid-on. Good stuff from Wood, who certainly has the capacity to take important wickets in the middle overs.
“One of the signs of reaching full adulthood is that you can appreciate the good tunes of the past while realising that, in every era, most of it was rubbish even if you didn’t know that at the time,” says John Starbuck. “I still enjoy jazz from the past two centuries, but not all of it. And I play some of Tommy Steele’s and Lonnie Donegan’s work from time to time, but skip the duds.” Hang on, I thought full adulthood was when you realise that guilty musical pleasures are just pleasures? Or maybe that’s just if you like Hold On by Wilson Phillips.
29th over: Australia 149-2 (Smith 31, Bailey 12) Rashid has a slip for Bailey, which is good to see. Well done everyone! Bailey pushes outside the line of a nice googly that prompts a strangled LBW appeal. There was an inside edge and it hit him outside the line, but he didn’t pick up. The next ball is a vile full toss that Bailey smokes over long on for six. The good and bad of Adil Rashid demonstrated in two deliveries.
28th over: Australia 140-2 (Smith 30, Bailey 5) Bailey is back in the ODI side, having gone from captain to drinks carrier during the World Cup. He is a really dangerous player in the last 10 overs. For now he is content to get his eye in via the medium of ones and twos, and there are seven runs from Moeen’s over. If Australia go at eight an over from here they will get 316. A lot depends on whether Glenn Maxwell comes off; if he does, 350 could be possible.
“I was once in a band in the late 90s, one of whose best songs (or so I thought at the time) was lifted more or less straight off a Menswe@r b-side,” says Tom Atkins. “I dug these out a few days ago, and it turns out that that both songs were rubbish all along. If anything ours was worse, which in a perverse way is quite an achievement.”
27th over: Australia 135-2 (Smith 28, Bailey 2) Rashid is having a decent day so far, with figures of 5-0-29-2. Never mind the 29, feel the 2. He does bowl some utter filth in among the good balls, having said that.
A nice little victory for Eoin Morgan and Adil Rashid. Morgan brought Rashid back into the attack with wickets in mind, and he produced one with his second ball. Warner, trying to slam the googly over the off side, sliced the ball gently to Woakes at short third man to end a good innings of 59.
26th over: Australia 132-1 (Warner 59, Smith 27)“This talk of the Bluetones might encourage people to revisit the tunes of their youth, but that can be risky,” says David Hopkins. “In a fit of nostalgia I recently popped indie nearly-weres JJ72 on the stereo. Suffice to say they hadn’t aged well. Nor had Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. But the Delgados held up fine.” It all ages well if you
get sufficiently paggered approach it in the right frame of mind.
25th over: Australia 126-1 (Warner 55, Smith 25) A beautifully placed drive from Smith off Stokes bisects extra cover and mid-off en route for four. He is an unusual batsman in that he can look like a walking wicket at times, but when he is batting well he plays with the most intimidating certainty. He is batting well today. Even at this stage, a hundred feels closer to probable than possible.
“While the WACA is a great loss to Ashes cricket in terms of both the history and variety of pitch it brings, I have to say that having been “lucky” enough to be there for the last two Ashes Tests, I won’t miss the “facilities”,” says Doug Wills. “Is asking for a little bit of shade in 40 degree heat for at least some small part of seven hours too much to ask? Admittedly our Union Jack, predominantly polyester suits didn’t help, but still...”
24th over: Australia 118-1 (Warner 53, Smith 19) Five from Moeen’s over, all in ones and twos. Australia are scoring at five an over with scarcely any risk; it’s extremely accomplished stuff. But England will be pretty happy with how they have bowled. “Many thanks, now I don’t care two hoots where it is, I just want to check out Ageas’ website!!!” says Andrew Benton. “What a company, what a venue, what a match!”
23rd over: Australia 113-1 (Warner 50, Smith 17) Warner reaches a controlled half-century from 57 balls. He had a slightly odd World Cup, with lots of nothing scores either side of 178 against Afghanistan, but looks in fine touch here. Smith, by contrast, looked like he had cracked one-day cricket during the World Cup, when he made five consecutive fifties. England could really do with getting him out soon if possible.
22nd over: Australia 110-1 (Warner 49, Smith 16) Australia start to milk Moeen, with five singles from the over. Warner has 49 from 56 balls, Smith 16 from 23.
“I woulda kept the magnificent Woakes and his bowling that managed to be both charmingly quaint and quaintly charming going, given his economy rate was decent,” says Gareth Fitzgerald. “He’ll come back now and have some bish-bosh applied to his death bowling, and before you know it there will be Beckham-style effigies being burned on village greens everywhere. He can come and stay at mine if it all gets too much.”
21st over: Australia 106-1 (Warner 46, Smith 14) So far this has been standard modern ODI fare, and in a way this whole innings feels like a slight formality: you suspect both sides would accept a score between 320 and 340 right now. Not that England can afford to acknowledge such a mindset. Stokes almost gets Warner with a good delivery that takes the inside edge that just misses leg stump.
20th over: Australia 100-1 (Warner 44, Smith 10) Moeen, oddly, has not dissimilar economy rates in Test and ODI cricket. Okay, they are 3.85 and 4.82 but you’d expect a bigger difference. He has started well here, with just a single from the over. That takes Australia to a neat score off 100 for one after 20 overs.
“So weird you mentioned The Bluetones,” says Eva Maaten. “Loved their debut albums and had been wondering just the other day at what point and why I lost touch with my flatmate from 25 years ago who at some point shared a flat with one of them in Glasgow (or something along those lines). This evening (10pm here, we are 7 hours ahead) is turning into a trip down memory lane...” It’s literally like being in the Good Mixer circa October 1995!
19th over: Australia 99-1 (Warner 44, Smith 8) This is a good move from Eoin Morgan, who has brought Ben Stokes into the attack in place of Adil Rashid (4-0-26-1), presumably with wickets in mind. Warner greets him with a sensational, angled-bat clatter through extra cover for four. Shot! There is so much talk about Warner’s personality that we sometimes lose sight of what a gorgeous timer of the ball he is. He’s almost too talented to function.
18th over: Australia 93-1 (Warner 39, Smith 8) So far England’s new brand of one-day cricket only really refers to their batting. I suspect that, over the next four years, they will become more attacking with the ball as well. The best ODI sides have important middle-overs wickettakers, from Mushtaq Ahmed in 1992 to Shaun Tait in 2007. Anyway, Woakes (4-0-14-0) is replaced by Moeen Ali. His first over is an uneventful affair that brings a couple of runs.
“That stunning image of Ben Stokes in action (6th over) jogged my memory,” says Edmund King. “While sheltering from the rain at the Courtauld this weekend, I came face to face with Rubens’s baroque masterpiece, The Descent from the Cross (1611), and was struck by how closely Rubens’s model for Christ resembles Ben Stokes. In all seriousness. You can almost see his left hand stretching out to catch a cricket ball, though in truth he looks a little more limp and less alert in that pose than Stokes generally does in the field.”
17th over: Australia 91-1 (Warner 38, Smith 7) Warner skips down to Rashid’s first ball and scrunches it superbly through extra cover for four. Great shot. Smith uses those rubber wrists to flick his first boundary past the man at backward square leg. That’s drinks.
16th over: Australia 81-1 (Warner 33, Smith 2) A good over from Woakes, just three from it. England need to take wickets at regular intervals, which has been a big problem in the past. Rashid and Wood in particular have the potential to take wickets during the middle overs.
“You still didn’t tell Andrew where the Ageas Bowl actually is!!!” says Steve Ditchburn. Look, everyone knows Hilton at The Ageas Bowl is a brand new 171-bedroom hotel, located at the picture-perfect home of Hampshire Cricket. The stunning property boasts both the country’s first eforea spa and first BEEFY’S fine dining restaurant.
15th over: Australia 78-1 (Warner 31, Smith 1) The new batsman is the captain Steve Smith, whose form in one-day cricket is reasonable: in his last 20 ODIs, he averages 70. This is the most important partnership, between Australia’s two best players. England could do with splitting them, at least by the 40th over.
Adil Rashid strikes with a low full toss. Joe Burns drove it straight back towards Rashid, who took a smart catch. Burns goes after making a decent 44 from 53 balls.
14th over: Australia 72-0 (Burns 40, Warner 30) Chris put the ‘woe’ in ‘Woakes’ with a wide slower ball that Warner slaughters through mid-off for four. Later in the over he sees Burns coming and slams a leg-side bouncer past his face. Well bowled. England have bowled fairly well so far, but Australia are on course for a score well in excess of 300.
“I wish you hadn’t included a link to that picture of Graham Gooch (10th over),” says Steve Pye. “It brought back a lot of painful memories. In fact, when my wife told me that some friends of ours were naming their new son Ezra, it immediately made me think of that incident. “The only person I’ve ever heard of with that name is Ezra Moseley, and he broke Graham Gooch’s finger in 1990,” I said to my wife, as all the love went from my eyes. My wife on the other hand shook her head and wondered if there is anything in the world that we could talk about without me bringing it back to cricket.”
13th over: Australia 65-0 (Burns 38, Warner 25) Burns charges Rashid’s first ball and tries to go downtown. He barely gets out of the driveway, screwing it just short of Finn at mid-on. Two balls later Warner misses a lap-sweep and is almost bowled round his legs. Actually, on reflection it missed by a fair bit. Nonetheless this is an excellent, confident start from Rashid. He beats Warner in the flight, but Warner still manages to drive the ball in the air and wide of mid-off for four. “That was a nice over, that,” says Warne.
12th over: Australia 60-0 (Burns 37, Warner 21) Woakes slips a sharp bouncer through Burns’s attempted hook. “Phwoar, good pace!” says Shane Warne. Just one from a very good over. In other news, Twitter doesn’t seem to be working. Either that or nobody has tweeted me, which is equally possible and probably the likelier scenario. Actually, Hotmail also doesn’t seem to be working. Either that or etc.
“Bully cricket all round, is it too early to make an ‘eexxccceelent’ joke about Burns?” says please not the Sam Smith. I’m sure Nasser will be thrilled by Burns’ arrival.
11th over: Australia 59-0 (Burns 36, Warner 21) Adil Rashid replaces Steven Finn. One way or the other, this won’t be dull. Eoin Morgan gives him a slip, which meets with the approval of Shane Warne. Warner, who generally tried to hit Moeen Ali onto Venus during the Ashes, settles for no-risk runs for the time being. Five from a good over that included consecutive googlies to Warner.
“Rob, I am confused,” says Andrew Benton. “The Ageas bowl is in....Durham? Manchester? Bristol? Nottingham? Worcester? Or the newly renamed town of Ageas?! Do bowlers having a bad day “bowl like Ageas”? Are the players Ageans? Whatever advertising Ageas or the Ageans are after, it’s lost on me....”
10th over: Australia 54-0 (Burns 34, Warner 18) Gareth Fitzgerald’s heart skips a beat as Chris Woakes is brought into the attack to replace Wood (4-0-26-0) – and he drops Warner off his own bowling! It was a sharp chance, when Warner crashed the ball whence it came, and Woakes couldn’t hang on. He hurt his left hand in the process and is receiving treatment from the physio, though there are no Gooch-style screams. He should be fine.
9th over: Australia 51-0 (Burns 31, Warner 18) Burns drives Finn sweetly over mid-off for four. He looks really good now. He’s comfortably outscoring Warner; in defence of Davey, Burns has faced far more deliveries and Warner still has the higher strike-rate. Warner reminds us both of his existence and his ability with a high-class flick off the hip for four to bring up an excellent fifty partnership.
Now, an urgent instruction which I forgot to mention earlier: buy Simon Lister’s Fire In Babylon. The whole book is terrific, as you’d expect. But the chapter on fast bowling, in which Andy Roberts and the others talk about their craft, is a joy. You’ll have a big dumb grin on your face throughout.
8th over: Australia 41-0 (Burns 24, Warner 13) Just three boundaries so far. Australia’s tactic is to set things up for hitters like Glenn Maxwell later on. They will miss the marvellous James Faulkner though. Burns looks comfortable and steers Wood past backward point for the fourth four of the innings. “Looks good, Burns,” says Sir Ian Botham, almost with a hint of a surprise.
“Looking at the team sheet it looks like even more of an experimental ‘yoof’ team from England,” says Harry Lang. “Have the ODIs now taken third spot in priority behind the Ashes Tests and Twenty20? While I’m here, have you seen what that MOAS boat is up to in the Med? Quite a lot of good it would seem, and they need all the help they can get...”
7th over: Australia 33-0 (Burns 18, Warner 13) It’s a relatively quiet start from Australia, who really could learn a lot from England about taking advantage of the first 10 overs. The Sky commentators, Mike Atherton and Tom Moody, are discussing whether the new Perth venue will have the same soil as the WACA. Let’s hope so. It’s pretty much impossible to create a better cricket wicket.
“Rob, dearest, you’re a bit rusty at this typing lark aren’t you,” says Ian Copestake. “By calling me ‘Copestkae’ you’ve managed to tell your other reader to do one in Swedish.”
6th over: Australia 28-0 (Burns 14, Warner 12) When Burns attempts to drive Wood, Stokes takes the ball spectacularly at backward point. It seemed to be a bump ball, though they are going upstairs just to make sure. Yep, it was a bump ball. As you were. But it was a great flying take by Stokes, which brought to mind the wonderful photo below. Burns eases some of the pressure with a cracking drive for four, and then carts a short ball over midwicket for three more.
5th over: Australia 21-0 (Burns 7, Warner 12) Burns is unfortunate to hit the stumps at the non-striker’s end with a nice straight drive. He has got off to a slowish start – 7 from 18 balls – and will be conscious of that. It’s not easy being a new ODI batsman, because you need to get a score for yourself but you also need to score quickly for the team. It’s not like the 1980s when you could be 10 not out from 50 balls and nobody would criticise you.
“Does this mean that Woakes to England is like Joe Allen to Brendan Rodgers?” says Ian Copestkae. “Please tell me it isn’t so and that cricket is still different.” What is a Brendan Rodgers?
4th over: Australia 20-0 (Burns 6, Warner 12) Warner looks in formidable nick and pings Wood through the covers for four. Six from the over. “Why are they yo-yoing Moen Ali up and down the order?” wonders Eva Maaten. “Is it an oblique reaction to the recent Guardian article where he sort of admitted that he loved playing as an opener?” He has definitely become England’s utility man. He needs to be careful with that, because utility players usually end up going nowhere.
3rd over: Australia 14-0 (Burns 6, Warner 6) The selfless Warner has been busy from his first ball, and times Finn beautifully through extra cover for three. Morgan did very well to save the boundary. Warner and Burns both have six; Warner has faced two balls, Burns 16.
“If the venerable Bourbon was not spelled Bourbon but spelled Borbon, when reversed it would be Nobrob. That’s you that is. Have a good call,” says the unemployed actor and erstwhile Cricinfo commentary genius, Will Luke. If this, if that. The Bluetones are over, let it go.
2nd over: Australia 9-0 (Burns 4, Warner 3) Wood takes the new ball ahead of Woakes, which is a bit of a surprise. His first ball is on the pads and clipped crisply through midwicket for three by David Warner. There are a couple of leg-side wides to Burns, who is taking a bit of time to get his eye in. I think Australia’s plan is to have plenty of wickets in hand for the last 10 overs. In other news, Reece Topley has been added to the ODI squad after his impressive T20 debut on Monday.
“It’s not unreasonable to give James Taylor a go and, if you’re going to change the order, do it in the earlier games,” says John Starbuck. “Then what changes you make later will look like rotation/squad-building, not a panic reaction. Moeen Ali has made a point of offering to bat wherever he can, demonstrating an excellent attitude and one which pretty much guarantees his place.”
1st over: Australia 4-0 (Burns 4, Warner 0) Steven Finn, England’s senior one-day bowler in the absence of Stuart Broad, will open the bowling to Joe Burns. Burns is probably the most impressive cab on Australia’s batting rank. Unusually for a new Australian batsman, he’s in his twenties. He played two Tests last winter and this is his second ODI, after a good 60-odd against Ireland last week. He gets off the mark from the fifth ball by dragging an inside-edge through square leg for four. The consensus is that the pitch is a belter; 300 is minimum rather than par.
“A really strange decision to leave out Willey, I feel,” says Krishnan Patel. “The other day against Warwickshire, he wreaked havoc with the white ball against some top-quality players. To play Wood, whose injury record isn’t the best or Woakes who makes the attack a bit one dimensional, is really inexplicable.”
Want to buy a funny, insightful, definitive history of the Ashes that contains a soupçon of concupiscent mischief? Good luck with that. But you can buy this if you like.
Gentlemen and Sledgers: A History of the Ashes in Quotations and Confrontations is available now. http://t.co/Z2jttd804k
Oh my god, they killed the WACA!
This is just terrible news. The WACA has been the best pitch in world cricket for decades. Well, with one or two exceptions. Even the acronym was perfect.
Emails please! I posted the wrong email address before; apologies. It has been corrected if you want to have your say about this, that or the other.
This is the first ODI since the fielding regulations were tweaked. You are now allowed five rather than four men outside the circle in the last 10 overs. The way things are going, AB de Villiers will need more than 50 balls to reach a century!
James Taylor replaces the rested Joe Root at No3, and Moeen Ali is going to bat No7. Hmm, that’s an odd one; I’d have had Moeen in the top three to pinch-stroke as he has in the past. Sam Billings and David Willey are a bit unfortunate to miss out.
England Hales, Roy, Taylor, Morgan (c), Stokes, Buttler (wk), Moeen Ali, Rashid, Woakes, Wood, Finn.
They are unchanged from the team that beat Ireland last week. Eoin Morgan says England would have batted first, but isn’t particularly bothered.
Good afternoon one, good afternoon all. Everybody’s on a journey these days, whether it’s an X-factor contestant discovering the beauty of life via the medium of being abused by Simon Cowell, a Strictly contestant going on a journey from ‘married’ to ‘it’s complicated’ to ‘divorced’, or a man on a journey to the local Costcutter for a top-up shop AND YOU FORGOT THE BLOODY BOURBONS AGAIN, I BLOODY KNEW YOU WOULD, LOOK IF YOU WANT ME TO GIVE THEM UP BECAUSE I’M GETTING A BIT PEACHY AROUND THE WAIST JUST SAY SO RATHER THAN DO THIS EVERY TIME ,I WAS REALLY BLOODY LOOKING FORWARD TO DUNKING ONE IN MY NESPRESSO, YOU’VE RUINED MY BAKE OFF NIGHT YOU HAVE.
English cricket has been on quite the journey in the past six months: from one of Kipling’s impostors to another; from behind the sofa to the edge of the seat; from FFS to OMG; and, in one-day cricket, from 1992 to 2015. During the 3-2 win over New Zealand in June, English cricket took an intrepid, heroic leap into the present day, opening their minds to the hitherto confusing notion that 50-over cricket could be enjoyed. We haven’t since such a spectacular awakening since Anne Bancroft purposefully dangled a stockinged led in the eyeline of a terrified Dustin Hoffman.
Victory marred by Ben Stokes’ dismissal for obstructing the field
Steve Smith satisfied with decision while England skipper Eoin Morgan says he would have withdrawn the appeal.
Australia take a 2-0 lead in this ODI series, but prepare to be reading nothing but in-depth analysis and indecipherable wah-nalysis on whether Ben Stokes should have been given his marching orders after that handball.
For now, go home to your loved ones, hold them tight and tell them everything is going to be OK...
AUSTRALIA WIN THE 2ND ODI BY 64 RUNS
Morgan holes out and that’s the game. A brilliant knock from the skipper but he had too much to do. England’s middle-order fail again but well bowled Australia, particularly Pat Cummins, who finishes with 4-56.
42nd over: England 244-9 (Morgan 85, Finn 1)
Plunkett is bowled by a superb yorker - all credit to Starc there. Finn gets off strike with his second ball to get Morgan on strike but Starc is full and Morgan can only find fielders with one ball left. Dot ball...
Something poetic about the laws being enforced - correctly - at the home of said laws, and the fury of the crowd within. #EngvAus#Stokes
The party is over. Long live the party.
41st over: England 242-8 (Morgan 85, Plunkett 24)
Plunkett’s running with the fours – charging NCN and edging him fine past the keeper for another. And then Morgan, with a splash of class, hits inside out over cover for four. Partnership between these two is 55 off 21...
40th over: England 230-8 (Morgan 78, Plunkett 19)
A gorgeous strike down the ground from Plunkett goes for four before he picks up Cummins over mid-wicket for another! And then a slash away through point for another boundary! Three so far and Cummins is rattled for the first time. AND ANOTHER!
39th over: England 213-8 (Morgan 78, Plunkett 3)
Stunning from Morgan: he goes over the top of mid off for four, around the corner for six and over mid on for a huge, huge six!
38th over: England 194-8 (Morgan 64, Plunkett 1)
Another sharp bumper to Morgan and the England skipper responds with a well-controlled square shot into the leg-side for a single. Rashid then goes but Morgan finishes the over with a great hook over square leg for six!
Rashid tries and fails to go down the ground. Cummins is on one...
37th over: England 186-7 (Morgan 54, Rashid 2)
Rashid and Morgan exchange the strike with some decent shots but nothing of any real worth given the state of the game. Good bowling from Marsh.
36th over: England 184-7 (Morgan 53, Rashid 1)
Woakes goes trying to pull Cummins square and then a bit of calm as Morgan cops a nasty blow on the back of the helmet. While he is wearing a new Masuri, he isn’t wearing the attachments which protect the top of the neck area. He seems OK to carry on.
An under-edge through to Wade and Woakes is gone...
35th over: England 182-6 (Morgan 52, Woakes 6)
Morgan brings up an excellent fifty in the circumstances – people going nuts in the stands, wickets tumbling at the other end. 66 balls for it - two fours and a six.
34th over: England 178-6 (Morgan 49, Woakes 5)
Good shot from Morgan, opening the face to guide Coulter-Nile to third man for four! Six from the over.
Fielders believe they have been denied a run out, batsman avoiding being hurt!!Both have valid points! Who'd be an Umpire ????
33rd over: England 172-6 (Morgan 48, Woakes 0)
Ali goes trying to up the tempo and Chris Woakes comes in to replace him. On strike now after Morgan pushes a single into the off side and he defends his first ball back to the bowler. Tries to dab past the keeper but doesn’t get good enough contact on the ball.
Ali top edges a sweep deep into square leg, where Mitchell Marsh is on hand to take a simple catch...
32nd over: England 170-5 (Morgan 46, Ali 8)
Nathan Coulter-Nile with a fine over just three from it.
31st over: England 167-5 (Morgan 44, Ali 7)
Finally some malice against Maxwell as Morgan hits him down the ground for six! Keeping his head while all those in the stands, dressing room and social media are losing theirs...
30th over: England 160-5 (Morgan 37, Ali 7)
Nathan Coulter-Nile back into the attack and his first ball to Moeen is short, allowing leftie to pull him high into the leg-side... for one run. Morgan nearly chops on last ball but makes it through for a single.
29th over: England 156-5 (Morgan 35, Ali 5)
Starc involved again as he palms a reverse sweep into the air and can’t hold on to the catch.
28th over: England 151-5 (Morgan 34, Ali 1)
Biggest cheer of the day as Starc bowls a no ball followed by the harshest boos as the ball is hit back to the bowler and he feigns another shy at the stumps. Penultimate ball is worked around the corner for four!
That's only the 6th time a wicket has fallen via obstruction of the field in an ODI & first time involving England pic.twitter.com/6Gf3LnKw0u
27th over: England 144-5 (Morgan 29, Ali 1)
Three ball duck for Buttler has he misreads the ball out of the hand and off the pitch. He’s binned on review and Moeen Ali comes to the crease. Crowd livid. So are some of you on e-mail...
Maxwell, around the wicket, turns the ball into the pads of Buttler. Not out says the umpire but a review and Buttler’s miserable summer continues...
26th over: England 141-4 (Morgan 27, Buttler 0)
Starc’s looking to his wide yorkers but he gets Stokes out obstructing the field in the end. Expect the debate to rage on and on. Will’s sussed it, tbf...
That is out. Fine. But it's also an absolute shambles. Try doing anything other than that in real time.
My word. Stokes drives to Starc who picks up the ball and throws at the stumps. Stokes, diving back into his crease, puts a hand out towards the ball and stops the ball from going onto his stumps. It might be heading to the stumps, he might be protecting himself, but the umpires have decided that it is out. The crowd and the England dressing room are livid.
25th over: England 136-3 (Morgan 26, Stokes 6)
Agar’s undone by the back spin rather comically and concedes an extra two. Maxwell’s not happy, giving him a glare that suggests a wedgie is in the offing. Six off the over.
24th over: England 130-3 (Morgan 24, Stokes 2)
Marsh keeping England in check with his wicket-to-wicket routine. Stokes plays one off middle stump which has everyone in the field ooo-ing. Nae danger.
23rd over: England 128-3 (Morgan 23, Stokes 1)
Really nice back-cut from Morgan beats gully and the sweeper for four! Morgan then times nicely over the top of cover but Mitchell Starc does really well to save two there. Seven from the over.
22nd over: England 121-3 (Morgan 16, Stokes 1)
Marsh gets the breakthrough as Taylor’s skittish innings comes to an end. Ben Stokes the new man in...
Taylor tries to guide one to third man but thin edges through to Wade. Odd knock, but got going and cocked up there...
21st over: England 119-2 (Tayor 43, Morgan 11)
Pretty dull - three from it.
20th over: England 116-2 (Taylor 41, Morgan 14)
First sign of aggression from Eoin Morgan, who skips down to Marsh and hits him aerially over cover. The ball plugs, though, so it’s just two.
19th over: England 109-2 (Taylor 37, Morgan 11)
Taylor gets away with a duffed charge as he yorks himself but manages to get back into his crease before Wade is able to gather. Three singles off the over.
18th over: England 106-2 (Taylor 35, Morgan 10)
Taylor thrashes Cummins with a lot more purpose and gets him square for four! And again, this time along the ground.
17th over: England 97-2 (Taylor 27, Morgan 10)
Maxwell into the attack and Morgan punches him through cover, where there’s a man fielding on the boundary. Two runs. Taylor finishes the over toeing a ramp which just plops up in front of him.
16th over: England 91-2 (Taylor 25, Morgan 5)
Couple of wides from Cummins as leftie Morgan faces up. A delay as George Bailey goes under the lid. Length delay as there’s a bat change for Morgan and the umpires decide to take drinks after just one legal delivery in the over. Weird. Anyway, single around the corner and Taylor is back on strike, defending into the off side. But another four through mid-wicket eases Taylor’s woes.
15th over: England 82-2 (Taylor 21, Morgan 4)
That’s more like it, Jimmothy – he’s onto a short-length ball from Marsh which he gets out of the screws for four through midwicket.
14th over: England 76-2 (Taylor 16, Morgan 3)
Taylor gets a couple past point before he’s beaten on the inside edge by a Cummins delivery that seams in, just missing his off-stump. He then cuts the next 1211931 balls into the ground.
13th over: England 73-2 (Taylor 13, Morgan 3)
Taylor struggling but at least with Morgan they can pick up a few more singles. Three start the over before Taylor pushes a couple of dots into the covers, which he follows out with a dab to third man.
12th over: England 69-2 (Taylor 11, Morgan 1)
Garbage start to the over as a short wide-ball from Taylor is skewed high to third man, who drops a simple chance. It went quickly to him but it should have been taken. Anyway, Roy’s out edging to Wade so I suppose that’s something. Morgan gets a nasty bouncer first up, which he punches (literally) behind square for a single. Taylor ends the over with a peculiar looking shot. He’s had an odd 20 balls so far...
A quick ball – 90+mph – is edged through to Wade, who takes a good catch diving up to his right.
11th over: England 65-1 (Roy 30, Taylor 9)
A four to start this second Power Play which isn’t actually a Power Play because this phase of the game lasts longer than any of the designated Power Plays so, technically, it’s actually the, well, “normal” part of the innings. Whatever, four leg byes. Roy drops one close to him and is ushered through by Taylor for one, who then steps across and pushes to square leg for another.
10th over: England 57-1 (Roy 28, Taylor 7)
Pat Cummins bounds in to replace NCN and has Taylor fideting into the off-side, failing to pierce the field. And then a dropped chance as the No.3 skips down and miscues to cover, where Joe Burns totally misreads the flight of the ball and fails to take the catch. Better, though, to finish the Power Player overs as he beats cover more convincingly for four!
9th over: England 51-1 (Roy 28, Taylor 1)
Mitchell Marsh on and a tough chance to start the over as Roy picks up off his hip around the corner and Ashton Agar dives forward and gets the ball in his hand but can’t maintain control as it spills out. Taylor scampers a single and Roy finishes the over with a straight four, timed well across the carpet.
8th over: England 44-1 (Roy 23, Taylor 1)
Coulter-Nile to get a proper go at Taylor, who finds fielders in front and square of the wicket first up. And two more before Taylor thrashes high but safe to the fielder on the third man boundary for a single. Roy keeps a good ball out and gets one to the same region.
7th over: England 43-1 (Roy 22, Taylor 0)
Wide half-volley offered up by Starc and Roy leans into it and throws in an extra flourish of the wrists to beat a reinforced off-side field for four. Ends the over with two more, skewing one deliberately wide of gully.
Hales has his timing and he’s coming out to play. NCN threated through extra cover for four before a shorter ball is hammered to the square leg fence for another. But he’s gone know, skewing one in the air to Steve Smith, who takes a superb catch at short-cover. James Taylor is the new man in and he pushes into the off side to complete the over.
Hales checks a drive and hits it uppishly into the covers, where Smith, close in, takes a splendid catch diving to his right.
5th over: England 29-0 (Roy 16, Hales 9)
Heeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeee’s Hales: forward, on one knee, opening the face and timing Starc through cover-point for four bits. A few more dots and then Hales is ducking under quite a tame Starc bouncer. Thick outside edge for one gives him the strike for the next over.
4th over: England 24-0 (Roy 16, Hales 5)
Brilliant fielding in the covers from Joe Burns prevents Roy from thumping a four off Coulter-Nile. Next ball he picks out Maxwell. Maiden.
@Vitu_E The thing about Roy is that even when he's in he could get out to any ball (yes, I know any batsman could, but you know what I mean)
3rd over: England 24-0 (Roy 16, Hales 5)
A much better over from Starc and he’s giving Hales a bit of a working over. After a missing a short ball, Hales ducks another which skims his shoulder and is taken superbly by Matthew Wade diving backwards. But it’s all undone next ball as Starc is clipped through the leg-side for four AND oversteps the front line! A wide full toss is toed to mid off for no run.
2nd over: England 19-0 (Roy 16, Hales 1)
Good shape from Nathan Coulter-Nile as he gets one to leave Alex Hales, passing his outside edge. Off the mark next ball is Hales, tucking one off his legs before Roy returns to punch two fours– through cover and midwicket – in successive balls. Then a proper drive through the leg-side, pushing through the the line of the ball for another boundary. Class from Surrey’s own HBK.
1st over: England 6-0 (Roy 4, Hales 0)
The sun comes out midway through the over, as Jason Roy plays on inside out but straight to point. Will that making batting easier? It’s supposed to at Lord’s. Might not ease things up just yet considering we’ve got two new balls, but if England are still in the chase past the 20th over then it *should* be a formality. I’ll regret those words soon enough. Starc bowls two wides and then Roy guides the penultimate ball of the over through extra-cover for four.
Howdy, partners - the players are back out in the middle: Mitchell Starc is checking his run-up and Jason Roy will take the first ball...
An excellent innings from Marsh to see Australia home. The big question for England is whether Woakes, Stokes and Plunkett should have each bowled an over more, particularly given the treatment meted out to Moeen towards the end of his spell. It was brave/foolhardy to keep bowling Moeen after his sixth over went for 19, and sure enough his eighth and final over also went for 19. A sub-300 target would look just that little bit more chasedownable. Anyway, I’m going to pass the baton to Vithushan Ehantharajah – all emails to vithushan.ehantharajah.casual@theguardian.com from now on. Bye!
49 overs: Australia 309-7 (Coulter-Nile 0)
Slower, shorter, and Marsh has finished his stroke by the time the ball clips his glove on its way through.
48.5 overs: Australia 309-6 (M Marsh 64, Coulter-Nile 0)
Marsh miscues this to midwicket, but comes back for a second run.
48.4 overs: Australia 307-6 (M Marsh 62, Coulter-Nile 0)
Another slow full toss, and though Marsh doesn’t really get hold of it, it still clears mid off and bounces away for a third successive four. Not the hat-trick Stokes was thinking about.
48.3 overs: Australia 303-6 (M Marsh 58, Coulter-Nile 0)
Stokes gets his line wrong, sends the ball down the leg side and Marsh helps it on his way and gets another four for his troubles.
48.2 overs: Australia 299-6 (M Marsh 54, Coulter-Nile 0)
Marsh picks Stokes’ slower ball, and hits it to long off for four.
Stokes bowls short, Wade gets a massive top edge and the ball loops up into the air and down into the bowler’s hands. Unfortunately for the English, the batsmen crossed and Marsh is now on strike. Stokes, meanwhile, is on a hat-trick, having taken wickets with the last ball of his eighth over, and the first of his ninth.
48th over: Australia 295-5 (M Marsh 50, Wade 1)
The first four balls bring four runs, but then Marsh latches onto a full toss and smacks it down the ground for six. The last is hit in the air to cover, where Roy, running round to his right on the boundary, attempts a high, diving catch and very nearly holds it! Instead, he spoons it with his right hand into his left arm, which pushes it into the rope. Marsh has a 26-ball half-century, and Australia will surely reach 300 even if, with our slightly reduced game, they have just one over left.
47th over: Australia 281-5 (M Marsh 37, Wade 0)
Stokes attempts a yorker first up, drops it a fraction short and watches it disappear over long on for six. So he tries another yorker, gets it right this time, and Marsh digs it out and runs a single. Another couple of singles follow, before Watto tries and fails to hit out.
Watson attempts to hit a full toss over long on, but doesn’t quite get the “over” bit right.
46th over: Australia 272-4 (Watson 38, M Marsh 29)
Woakes is back, and starts his seventh over with a pretty emphatic wide. He was pretty parsimonious at the start of the innings and despite the wide he continues in the same vein here, shipping just the three singles. Strange, really, that he’ll bowl only eight of his 10 overs.
45th over: Australia 268-4 (Watson 37, M Marsh 27)
Stokes bowls a full toss to Marsh, who swishes and misses. A let-off for the bowler, but his next ball is smacked back past him with a resounding crack. The partnership has now contributed precisely 50, from 31 balls.
44th over: Australia 260-4 (Watson 34, M Marsh 22)
Stokes dives to stop Marsh’s drive from reaching the boundary, gets a hand on it, and pushes it a few yards to his right … into the rope. The next ball goes for four as well, and then he advances down the pitch to attack the one after, misses it completely and is extremely fortunate to see it bounce over the wicket. He reins himself in thereafter, and a couple of singles make it 12 from Finn’s ninth over.
43rd over: Australia 248-4 (Watson 33, M Marsh 11)
Wheeeeee! Marsh goes after Moeen now, slamming one ball down the ground for a very emphatic six, and then trying to repeat the medicine in Maxwellian fashion, not catching hold of it, and getting only a single. Watson then does something similar only in reverse – he has one heave, missing completely, and then another, which also goes down the ground, and yet another, which disappears over midwicket and into the top tier of the stand. For the second time in three overs Moeen concedes 19.
42nd over: Australia 229-4 (Watson 21, M Marsh 4)
Morgan saves three with a dive at mid-off to stop Watson’s drive. Watto, however, is not to be denied, and he cuts past third man and this time he gets his four. Then, from the final ball of the over, he tries to work it into the leg side, seems to change his mind mid-shot and awkwardly toe-ends it into the air but just short of the fielder. “Never thought I’d live to see the day when England were bowling with spin twins in ODIs,” writes Krishnan Patel. “Then again, I never thought I’d live to see Watto giving correct DRS advice either.”
41st over: Australia 220-4 (Watson 16, M Marsh 3)
Moeen would surely have been hooked had Maxwell still been at the crease, his last over having been so expensive. Instead, though, he continues, and concedes 26% of the 19 runs his previous over cost (five, for the non-maths-fans out there).
Three quick singles and a couple, before Finn makes his breakthrough.
Shane Watson taking a quick single reminds me of a 1970s prop forward suddenly passed the ball in open field @Simon_Burnton
He’s not going to get that 50! Maxwell plays across the line and is caught in front of the stumps by Finn! He asks Watson if it’s worth reviewing, and Watson says no. And if Watson says no, it really isn’t worth reviewing.
39th over: Australia 213-3 (Maxwell 48, Watson 10)
Moeen continues, and after a few singles Maxwell hoists one over extra cover for six, and then hoists the next one over extra cover for six as well, and then the last goes low and hard past square leg for four. 19 (nineteen) runs from the over, and Maxwell, having faced 36 deliveries, is on the verge of a half-century.
38th over: Australia 194-3 (Maxwell 31, Watson 8)
A change of pace now, as Finn returns. Watson hits in the air to midwicket, where it falls a foot short of the inrushing Hales, who fields well. Then, a Maxell single later, he smashes to cover where it’s fielded, though not cleanly, by Taylor.
37th over: Australia 191-3 (Maxwell 30, Watson 6)
Thwack! Maxwell reverse-sweeps for four, the ball fair bulleting its way to the rope.
36th over: Australia 183-3 (Maxwell 25, Watson 3)
Blam! The first six of the day, and it’s a big ‘un – Rashid pitches one short and Maxwell swipes it over midwicket and into the stands. Rashid isn’t cowed, though, and it’s followed, commendably, by three successive dots.
35th over: Australia 175-3 (Maxwell 18, Watson 2)
Glenn bunts the first ball of the over down to long on for a single. That Smith wicket could be the difference between 300 and 320, you feel, especially if Moeen keeps things as things as tight as this. He’s getting a lot of turn out there and Watto is having to be very cautious. The final ball is whipped out to midwicket for the second, and last, run of the over.
34th over: Australia 173-3 (Maxwell 17, Watson 1) Maxwell spanks the first ball ugly, in the air but wide of mid off for one, before Smith chips deliberately over mid on for two. That’s the end of his fun though, as the change of OBOer does for the set batsman. You are welcome, Eoin. And you are welcome, comedy fans, as Shane Watson comes to the crease. Actually I’m doing a disservice to Adil Rashid there, as it was a lovely ball that tempted Smith into the drive. Watson gets a full bunger to open up, stands tall and punches it to cover for one. Another single to Maxwell, then the last ball is defended.
Tossed up outside off and Smith drives hard. A thick outside edge is the result and Smith is gone as the ball is comfortably taken at backward point. Lucas strikes!
33rd over: Australia 168-2 (Smith 68, Maxwell 15) Simon is just nipping out for some well-deserved lunch, so this is Dan Lucas for the next few minutes. Moeen continues and Smith absolutely mullers his first ball straight back at him, then gets a single past a misfield at extra cover. That brings Maxwell on strike and he brings out the silver hammer, sweeping hard behind square on the leg side for four. A couple out to midwicket next ball, before Maxwell mistimes a big hit over mid on and sees it drop just short of the fielder. Two more from the final ball makes 10 from the over and Australia are sitting very pretty.
32nd over: Australia 155-2 (Smith 65, Maxwell 8)
Smith scores five from Rashid’s fifth over, in the shape of two twos and a one. Two spinners in play, England are ripping through the overs now.
31st over: Australia 152-2 (Smith 60, Maxwell 8)
Moeen’s second over brings five runs, all of them singles. Still dark and cold at Lord’s.
30th over: Australia 148-2 (Smith 57, Maxwell 6)
Maxwell gets off the mark with a boundary, though not in particularly convincing style, as he edges Plunkett well wide of Buttler, with no slips in place. Then he drives through the covers for a couple.
29th over: Australia 141-2 (Smith 56, Maxwell 0)
A wicket maiden from Moeen Ali, and it could have been better still bad the umpire been impressed by a final-ball lbw appeal (and then Australia not reviewed it – the ball was heading wide of leg stump).
And it does! That one turns a long way, pitching wide of off stump and clipping the outside of leg stump, Bailey’s bat getting nowhere near it, and Moeen makes the breakthrough with his second ball of the day!
28th over: Australia 141-1 (Smith 56, Bailey 54)
Four more runs and a leg bye. The umpires refer a possible run-out from the last ball to the TV umpire, who has one of his quickest and easiest decisions, the bat being a good foot and a half in the crease when the bails broke. England need something to go their way, and soon.
27th over: Australia 136-1 (Smith 53, Bailey 53)
Bailey takes the first five deliveries of Stokes’ sixth over to score a two and then a single. Smith, on 49, faces the last – and smashes it past point for four, and he too is a half-centurion.
26th over: Australia 129-1 (Smith 49, Bailey 50)
Plunkett returns, and Bailey is first to his landmark, with a single to point, and later Smith clubs the ball to deep square leg, where Hales makes an excellent diving stop on the boundary to keep him waiting just a little bit longer before completing his own half-century.
Two singles and a leg bye from Stokes’ over, and both batsmen are now poised for some bat-waving. “Disappointing to see Finn being all nice to the departing Warner,” notes Ian Copestake. “What about some Watsonesque bullying (he’s short enough) and a barb or two about that one being for Joe?” I think Warner feeds off that kind of animosity. No, give the man a cuddle and offer to kiss it better, see what he makes of that.
24th over: Australia 121-1 (Smith 44, Bailey 48)
Another tight over, from Rashid this time. Still, five off it, all singles, and still no sniff of a wicket
23rd over: Australia 116-1 (Smith 42, Bailey 45)
Stokes sends a high full toss at Bailey, who tries to smack it away from his chest, in so doing breaking his bat. It’s a no ball, clearly, and a free hit under new regulations. It’s a slower ball, smacked straight to Finn at mid-on. The crowd cheer the catch, but then notice that nobody is celebrating on the field and stop. Just two off the over.
22nd over: Australia 114-1 (Smith 42, Bailey 44)
Smith gets a single off Rashid, and then Bailey hits high and long, the ball landing, unfortunately for him, about two inches in front of the rope. Even so he overtakes Smith’s score, from 13 fewer deliveries.
21st over: Australia 108-1 (Smith 41, Bailey 39)
Bailey could have got out two or three times in the first half-dozen deliveries he faced, but he looks good to go now, and he pulls Stokes for four here. England need to provoke some wicket-tumblage pretty soon or things could start to get messy.
20th over: Australia 101-1 (Smith 40, Bailey 34)
Australia streak to triple figures, each batsman scoring a four and a single off Rashid, whose one really poor delivery is smashed through midwicket by Smith. Bailey’s four is a fine shot, advancing to push through cover.
19th over: Australia 91-1 (Smith 35, Bailey 29)
Suddenly it’s single city, as Plunkett’s first four deliveries yield a run each. And then, after a dot, a four, Bailey thundering the last past square leg as the bowler screams a frustrated “No!”
18th over: Australia 83-1 (Smith 33, Bailey 23)
Spin! Rashid, the best of England’s bowlers t’other night, gets the ball for the first time, and Bailey welcomes him with a cut to deep point for a couple. In all Australia get five. Laying some useful foundations here.
It's not good to have a five man limit on the legside. The interpretation of the wide law is enough. Promotes ugly batting @Simon_Burnton
17th over: Australia 78-1 (Smith 32, Bailey 19)
There’s a reasonable crowd of semi-celebrity at Lord’s today. Picked out by the cameras so far: the inevitable Piers Morgan and Stephen Fry, and the less predictable Sol Campbell and Phil Spencer off Location, Location, Location. They see Plunkett bowl an over featuring two dots, two singles, and two twos. After which, drinks.
16th over: Australia 72-1 (Smith 29, Bailey 16)
Stokes continues, and yields three singles. Meanwhile, this is the Warner latest:
Confirmation from @CAComms: Warner will bat when required, but won't field. He will have an X-Ray on his thumb when he has finished batting.
15th over: Australia 69-1 (Smith 28, Bailey 15)
After a couple of singles Plunkett catches Bailey in the pads, but the ball would have gone over the stumps. The next is an off-cutter that zips off the slope and just misses off stump. Bailey looks immeasurably awkward on each occasion, but survives. In other news, today is both World Beard Day and International Bacon Day.
14th over: Australia 67-1 (Smith 27, Bailey 14)
Warner reappears, heading for the nets, with no gloves on, no strapping to be seen and looking very jaunty, and apparently preparing to make another appearance in this innings. And Stokes comes on, and strays a little towards and indeed past leg stump, conceding a wide first ball, and a four, flicked to deep fine leg, next up.
13th over: Australia 58-1 (Smith 22, Bailey 11)
Plunkett bowls to Smith precisely as wide as you can get away with without conceding a wide. The batsman leaves it, looks to the umpire for assistance and looks exceedingly disgruntled not to receive any. So he chases after the next ball, also pretty wide, attempts to pull but mishits for a single, the only run from the over.
12th over: Australia 57-1 (Smith 21, Bailey 11)
Woakes keeps going, his sixth over of the day, and gets down fast to block Bailey’s straight drive, probably saving four runs but possibly giving him a little hand-ouch.
11th over: Australia 55-1 (Smith 21, Bailey 9)
A first bowling change: Plunkett comes on, and Bailey licks his lips and tucks in, in the shape of two shots to square leg for two, and one wide of mid-off for four. And also a single off the last.
10th over: Australia 46-1 (Smith 21, Bailey 0)
Woakes bowls full and straight at Smith, and however clumsy he can look at times the Australia captain deals with straight half-volleys in consumately classy fashion. Four runs. And here’s the Finn delivery that nearly did for Bailey first ball:
After a boundary from the second ball, played down the ground by Burns, Finn has conceded precisely twice as many runs as Woakes, having bowled 26 deliveries to his team-mate’s 24. This, though, is a fine over, and there’s very nearly a second wicket from the last, which comes in a long old way and only just misses off stump.
Having dismantled one opener’s thumb Finn takes out the other’s middle stump, and off stump to boot, with a fast, full, straight screamer that comes in a little off the slope.
8th over: Australia 35-0 (Burns 17, Smith 16)
Smith leaves Woakes’ first delivery, which comes back into him and clips the pads. A loud appeal is rejected on grounds of height. And also width. Sky produce a graphic showing bowls faced by Smith today. Only one would have gone on to hit the stumps, and that went for four. The very next delivery is angled at the stumps, and it swiftly finds itself rumbling away through midwicket.
7th over: Australia 31-0 (Burns 17, Smith 12)
Finn gets one to move back into Burns, and it whooshes just past the inside edge. Unbothered, the batsman smacks the next two to the boundary, the first to backward point, the next past extra over, both struck low and firm.
6th over: Australia 22-0 (Burns 9, Smith 12)
More pain! Woakes bowls to Smith, who tries to smash through midwicket but only deflects the ball into his groinal area. He is able to resume play after a brief period of hopping about shouting “oooh”, and anyway he’d smashed the previous ball through midwicket. It’s a bad day all round for things at Lord’s called Warner – not only has David Warner’s thumb taken a pummelling, the Warner Stand is getting knocked down tomorrow.
5th over: Australia 16-0 (Burns 8, Smith 7)
Finn bowls short and wide to Smith, and this time he takes advantage, slicing high over all nearby fielders to the backward point boundary. The over ends with the day’s first vague appeal, but the ball hit Burns in the thigh pad and would have cleared the stumps by a good six inches.
4th over: Australia 11-0 (Burns 8, Smith 2)
Smith continues to feel his way into the game, inside-edging Woakes’ first delivery just wide of his stumps. He’s faced 12 balls so far, and looked a bit awkward for most of them. Burns is altogether smoother, and slides one to deep fine leg for a couple.
3rd over: Australia 8-0 (Burns 6, Smith 1)
A couple of singles, and then Burns powers the ball wide of cover to score the day’s first boundary.
2nd over: Australia 2-0 (Burns 1, Smith 0)
Woakes takes the other new ball, and when he gives Smith some width the batsman tries to smash it past Taylor at point, but it isn’t cleanly hit, and is excellently fielded. Then Smith, expecting a little away movement, plays around a delivery that passes just past his inside edge. Maiden over. “I feel like a fool now,” says a Dance Mom-addled Robert Wilson. “It’s masterly. Screw Dogme, this is a whole new thing. Clearly scripted, beautifully rehearsed. It’s revolutionary. And proof, if proof were needed, that Aaron Sorkin has not lost the touch of coked-up genius he once had. I’m breathless. Thank you and Withall. I won’t forget this.”
1st over: Australia 2-0 (Burns 1, Smith 0)
Finn’s bowls the day’s first over and the first two deliveries go for singles, the second – fast and vaguely short, arriving at Warner just over chest height – bringing an uncomfortable, squirming fend and then injury.
Finn’s delivery comes off the handle of Warner’s bat and into his thumb and thence into the air. He could very easily have been caught, but he calls out the physios and they advise him to go anyway!
Cricketers! On the pitch! And not just messing about and playing football! Incredible scenes. Oh, to be alive to see this day.
“I began to write to you in a funk of disappointment at the absence of the crasherbasher Willey (if nothing else, it would have provided hours of innocent Brian Johnson type nomenclature fun with Watson and Cummins),” writes Robert Wilson. “But having read Phil Withall’s tweet, I’m now in a funk of something else entirely. Dance Moms?! It’s been a while since I’ve been back to the UK so please tell me that it was some attempt at humour from a feverish mind. Please tell me that there is no such thing as Dance Moms.”
I can confirm the existence of Dance Moms.
They’re still not playing cricket. Really, someone needs a stern talking to about this.
@Simon_Burnton Please let them start soon. Putting up with teenage daughter flicking between Dance Moms and a Glee based reality show.....
Another 24 minutes of mysteriously essential preparation to go, I’m afraid.
The full and confirmed teams in pictorial form, courtesy of Sky:
We’re going to have to bat, but I would have had a bowl. It was nice playing here last time, and I was able to score a few runs. Hopefully more of the same today. I think you can always improve. It was a good start to the series, and hopefully we can continue playing some good cricket.
I don’t think we started all that well with the ball, I think all the bowlers knew that, and the way they came back was outstanding.
Pretty straightforward. I don’t think we’re going to see much sun for today, so best time to bowl is hopefully this morning.
Mark Wood is rested, and Liam Plunkett replaces him.
Finally and at long last, time for a coin toss.
These two tweets were posted within 10 seconds of each other. Gary Naylor, are you in fact John Etheridge?
So 11.30 start and 49 overs each. Would it have hurt to have started at 11.20 and played the full 50? Cricket is absurd at times.
So 11.30 start and 49 overs-a-side. Why not 11.20 start and 50 overs-a-side? Cricket is unfathomable at times.#engvaus
Still no action at Lord’s, but they’re at least starting to think about it …
@Simon_Burnton In white ball cricket, if it's not raining, they should be playing. What is actually happening in this fifty minutes delay?
I’m trying to puzzle that one out. The outfield is still slightly damp, apparently. But, an hour? Pah!
Further update: we’ve lost two overs. It’s a 49-over-a-side game.
Update: patches of blue sky are peeping out from behind the clouds. The toss will be tossed at 11am, and the match will start at 11.30am. David Gower on Sky is wondering why on earth we have to wait an entire hour for any cricket, and it does seem a little puzzling.
It’s not raining any more! The covers are being slowly and carefully removed, and we’re set on a gradual rumble up to actual cricket.
Here’s the rain radar, with the nasty clouds heading south and east. Not much heavy stuff about, and even the light stuff should be clear of St John’s Wood imminently: