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Australia v Pakistan: second Test, day one – live!

November 29, 2019, 2:36 am
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  • Updates from the opening day at Adelaide Oval
  • Any updates? Email or tweet @JPHowcroft

54th over: Australia 193-1 (Warner 111, Labuschagne 74) Yasir is not bowling very well. He concedes runs from four of his six deliveries this over, including a long-hop slapped through cover by Warner.

53rd over: Australia 186-1 (Warner 105, Labuschagne 73) First delivery in an age to bite and take a genuine edge still sees Australia earn four streaky runs. It really is their day but Abbas deserved better for squaring up Labuschagne.

Most Test 100s as opener:

33 - Gavaskar
31 - Cook
30 - Hayden
27 - G Smith
23 - WARNER
22 - Boycott/Sehwag#AusvPak

52nd over: Australia 177-1 (Warner 101, Labuschagne 69) Now that little milestone has passed, I’d expect this pair to bed in to see the day out. It has been a magnificent partnership.

Surely this is Warner’s over. Labuschagne does his job, rotating the strike first ball, driving Yasir to wide mid-off. What will Warner do? Tip and run again! This could be close. He dabs the ball towards gully and tears off to the non-striker’s end. The throw comes in - and misses - Warner continues his gallop, punches the air, leaps a little, removes the helmet - you know the drill. Super knock from Australia’s opener, and there’s no indication it’ll end any time soon.

Another ton for David Warner! #AUSvPAKpic.twitter.com/SiEP7lXxqF

51st over: Australia 173-1 (Warner 99, Labuschagne 67) Pakistan theatrically bring in the field to deny Warner his single. Abbas is just the kind of parsimonious seamer to bowl to a packed offside dragnet, and he does just that, landing six deliveries on a length on or just outside off stump. Warner does his best to tip and run but all he can muster is a maiden. Oh what a feeling - but for now that feeling is frustration.

50th over: Australia 173-1 (Warner 99, Labuschagne 67) Warner drives Yasir for two behind point to move to 98, then he misses out on the century by failing to connect with a long-hop that pitches outside leg stump. A single ticks him up to 99 and delays the leap, bat raise and helmet removal for another over.

49th over: Australia 170-1 (Warner 96, Labuschagne 67) Time for Mohammad Abbas, and Labuschagne is happy to play out a watchful maiden to an over delivered on a decent line and length in the mid 120s kph. Australia’s No.3 has hit quicksand since dinner. Still, he’s not looked like losing his wicket any time soon despite the runs drying up.

In other sporting news, Unai Emery has just been sacked by Arsenal.

Confirmed: Arsenal have sacked Unai Emery … pic.twitter.com/ksBiOEawtH

48th over: Australia 170-1 (Warner 96, Labuschagne 67) Australia continue their busy approach, operating an ODI middle-overs mindset to Yasir, running hard and piercing gaps at will. Warner will ton-up very soon.

47th over: Australia 164-1 (Warner 91, Labuschagne 66) Warner has batted excellently today. Solid in defence, decisive in attack, and his running has been well-judged. The latest example of the latter was some canny strike rotation with a bit of tip-and-run. Shaheen’s line from around the wicket to Labuschagne is good though and the Queenslander remains somewhat becalmed.

46th over: Australia 163-1 (Warner 90, Labuschagne 66) Iftikhar is finally replaced by a full-time bowler in Yasir but Warner greets the leggy’s arrival at the crease with contempt, reverse sweeping for three to move into the 90s. Labuschagne is not so confident and he has the misfortune to receive a ripper from Yasir that spins and bounces prodigiously, just sowing a seed of doubt in the batsman’s mind.

45th over: Australia 160-1 (Warner 87, Labuschagne 66) Pakistan have never been known for their fielding but they are not covering themselves in glory tonight. A few misfields have slipped through the net since dinner and the sniff of a run-out disappeared when the throw from cover went to the wrong end. Shaheen, one of the main culprits in the outfield, doesn’t dwell on his teammate’s error and beats Labuschagne’s bat with a rare jaffa. Shaheen is now sending down his left-arm seamers from around the wicket to the right-hander, and he’s just managing to get them to hold their line, somewhat like a mirror-image of Stuart Broad to David Warner during the Ashes.

44th over: Australia 159-1 (Warner 86, Labuschagne 66) I’m sure there’s some logic to Iftikhar getting a third over, but I will need someone to explain it to me because it is not obvious. Still, the part-time nude nuts get another run, and Australia continue their serene accumulation. The partnership passes 150, the vista could barely be more picturesque, and the bowling is village.

43rd over: Australia 152-1 (Warner 84, Labuschagne 61) Shaheen is a better bowler than fielder and he sends down a decent over to Warner, keeping the batsman pinned to the crease with some deck-hitting deliveries from over the wicket.

42nd over: Australia 149-1 (Warner 81, Labuschagne 61) Curiously, Iftikhar shares bowling duties after dinner and he is as unthreatening as a hug from your favourite auntie. Australia don’t cash in too heavily, but Warner does pick up four through the covers after Shaheen fails to pick up the flight of the ball in the deep.

41st over: Australia 143-1 (Warner 76, Labuschagne 60) Shaheen takes the first over after dinner and his opening delivery is full and wide so Warner chases it and gets a fat edge that skips to wide third man for four. As the ball bobbles away the camera pans wide to reveal the most extravagant palate in the South Australian sky; predominantly Melbourne Storm purple but there are accents of Sydney Sixers magenta. Magical.

Anyway, back to the cricket. Australia well on top, and now they have another two and a half hours or so to ram home their ascendancy. The rain has cleared, the floodlights are on, and Adelaide is hinting at one of those magical sunsets it is famed for.

That particular search for a YouTube link brought up this ghastly offering form Roxy Music of which I was previously (blissfully) unaware. Right up there among the worst cover versions of all time.

Ok, let’s do this. I’m up all night to get lucky. Well, until at least 11pm, and if I’m lucky someone might bring me a cup of tea.

Australia are cruising. Despite the loss of over an hour’s play to rain David Warner and Marnus Labuschagne did not skip a beat in that session. Their proactive partnership is already in excess of 100 and during the last ten overs they’ve been rattling along at more than four rpo.

With the final session likely to extend until 11pm AEDT it is going to be a long night for Pakistan, literally and metaphorically. Their seam attack has lacked both venom and control, and despite conditions supposedly favouring them the pink ball has not misbehaved whatsoever.

40th over: Australia 139-1 (Warner 72, Labuschagne 60) Pink ball, floodlights on, rain around, and it’s spin from both ends. That’s a reflection of how the seemingly optimal conditions are failing to generate any lateral movement, and how assertively Australia have batted all day. David Warner reinforces the point in Yasir’s fourth over, driving through mid-off for four with sumptuous timing.

39th over: Australia 134-1 (Warner 67, Labuschagne 60) Time for a quick whirl from Iftikhar to improve the over-rate but his gentle straight-spinners do not provide any discomfort to Australia’s batsmen.

70.2 - Only Sir Donald Bradman (103.6) has a better Test batting average at no. 3 than Marnus Labuschagne (70.2) among Australians to have played at least five innings in the position. Dawn.#AUSvPAKpic.twitter.com/lFHXqss6hz

38th over: Australia 132-1 (Warner 67, Labuschagne 58) Yasir and his close-in fielders are full of oohs and ahhs but Australia continue untroubled, blocking, leaving, and scampering singles.

37th over: Australia 130-1 (Warner 66, Labuschagne 57) This has been terrific by Australia in the past half-hour or so. They have really upped the ante and now they’re cashing in. 50 for Labuschagne, his sixth in his past nine innings, and his milestone runs arriving in the mode of Ian Bell during the 2013 Ashes, cutting deftly. He remains a leg-side player though, as he proves later in the over with a rasping pull for four. It is hard to see where the breakthrough is going to come from for Pakistan but they need one desperately.

36th over: Australia 122-1 (Warner 66, Labuschagne 49) Warner’s intensity is rubbing off on Labuschagne. The second ball of Yasir’s second over is clipped effortlessly off his toes for four by the right-hander, then ball three is worked to fine-leg for three more. Warner then gets down on one knee and slog sweeps with a pure arc to send the ball over midwicket for four more. Australia are turning the heat on Pakistan.

35th over: Australia 111-1 (Warner 62, Labuschagne 42) The previous over brought up the century partnership for this pair, their third in four digs for Australia. Warner is now in assertive mode, moving towards the bowler like a boxer controlling the centre of the ring. He middles a few impressive checked drives before piercing the offside field for a couple. Musa did OK that over with his line and length but there’s nothing happening in the air or off the surface.

34th over: Australia 109-1 (Warner 60, Labuschagne 42) Time for spin and the high energy of Yasir Shah. There’s plenty of bounce to the ounce in the leggy’s run-up but the output lacks the same pizzazz. A few land reasonably well and grip a bit but a few more are dragged short and worked behind square on both sides of the wicket.

33rd over: Australia 106-1 (Warner 57, Labuschagne 42) What was I saying about Labuschagne outside his off-stump? Musa lands one on a tempting line and length - with a hint of swing - and the Queenslander drills it through extra cover like 2004 Damien Martyn. That is where Pakistan need to be bowling though, get Australia coming forward.

32nd over: Australia 100-1 (Warner 56, Labuschagne 37) Labuschagne has mistimed a few deliveries outside his off stump since the restart. On the front foot a few have angled towards the cordon and he’s failed to cash in to a number dropped short. Against Abbas he attempts a cut shot that’s too close to his body and is fortunate not to offer a chance to gully. Hundred up for Australia. Paine, Langer and the rest will be delighted with progress.

31st over: Australia 98-1 (Warner 55, Labuschagne 36) Musa replaces Shaheen from the River Torrens end, which means it’s right-arm over from both ends for the time being. It’s not a great over to be honest but Labuschagne can’t put away a couple of short and wide ones and then contorts to almost york himself when the bowler overpitches. Musa will doubtless ignore my criticism and point to the maiden in the scorebook as a handy couple of minutes work.

30th over: Australia 98-1 (Warner 55, Labuschagne 36) Pakistan’s dot count extends to 14 before Abbas leaks onto Labuschagne’s pads and Australia jog through for a single. I’m momentarily distracted by how artificially green the rest of the square looks under floodlights. With the pink ball and the fluro-looking grass the scene gives of the air of being mood-boarded by a man with a waxed moustache and fixed-gear bicycle.

29th over: Australia 97-1 (Warner 55, Labuschagne 35) Better form Shaheen too now, joining some dots of his own to assert a smidgen of pressure.

28th over: Australia 97-1 (Warner 55, Labuschagne 35) Abbas finally keeps Labuschagne honest, if hardly unsettled, with a maiden.

Abbas has bowled 93% of his deliveries on a good length, the highest he's ever recorded in a Test innings, but not a single ball he's bowled would have gone on to hit the stumps. #AusvPak

27th over: Australia 97-1 (Warner 55, Labuschagne 35) Considering how awkward the conditions must be to bat in Australia have settled very quickly. Pakistan haven’t helped their cause by erring in line and length, and in Abbas’s case, lacking enough pace to cause either batsman to question their stroke on this surface. The 27th over of the day sees Shaheen spray the ball all around the target, including a long half-volley on two legs that Labuschagne clips away with the precision of a kingfisher extracting a tiny dace from a babbling brook.

Michael Barker has emailed in a picture of Kangaroo Island (not far from Adelaide Oval) looking glorious. Hopefully this means the weather is set fair for the remainder of the night.

26th over: Australia 90-1 (Warner 54, Labuschagne 29) The right-left combination undoes Abbas this over. First Warner nudges the single then Abbas fails to adjust his line, allowing Labuschagne to work a leg-stump half-volley through midwicket for four.

25th over: Australia 84-1 (Warner 53, Labuschagne 24) Shaheen continues his work to Labuschagne. Again he’s slanting across the right-hander from over the wicket but perhaps a touch short to draw the false stroke. The overcorrection arrives as the over draws to a close, the batsman one on his toes safely down the ground for two.

Incidentally, this is Warner’s first 50 in day-night Tests. It’s reasonably clear where Pakistan have got things wrong so far.

Warner has only scored one run in the V between mid-on and mid-off. #AusvPakpic.twitter.com/lyDteNp6JF

24th over: Australia 82-1 (Warner 53, Labuschagne 22) Abbas shares duties from the Cathedral end and for the bulk of the over he places his deceptively tricky 130kph seamers wide enough of Warner’s off stump for the batsman to leave often and slowly adjust to the gloom and floodlights. However, the over is bookended by runs. Ball one is pushed off Warner’s hip for a couple, and ball six is inside-edged perilously close to his leg-stump, only for a wild throw from the deep to beat all Pakistan’s backer-upperers and through for a total of six overthrows. That’s another 50 for David Warner.

A fricken drought. The driest state in the driest continent. And yet it bloody rains when there’s a test match. #AUSvPAK

23rd over: Australia 74-1 (Warner 45, Labuschagne 22) Shaheen has the Stabilo Boss highlighter pink ball in his left hand after the lengthy rain delay and he opens with three deliveries on a line and length angling across the right-handed Labuschagne, the second of which was a genuine play and miss. Ball four finds a squirty edge that bounces short of gully so Shaheen continues to plough that furrow, finding another thick edge before the over ends, but this time it scuttles all the way to the third-man fence. Not easy batting conditions out there.

Please keep me company and help me avoid falling asleep at the wheel, either on Twitter - @JPHowcroft- or by email -Jonathan.howcroft.casual@theguardian.com.

Play will resume imminently! The session will last around 75 minutes. Dinner will be taken at 8pm AEDT and then more play after that until the witching hours, 11pm I think, by which point I may well have turned into a pumpkin.

Back to the modern day, the covers have been on and off at Adelaide Oval more frequently than the director’s cut of Confessions of a Window Cleaner. The good news for us is the most precious 22 yards of rolled South Australian soil will soon be open to the elements and primed for the resumption of play.

Thank you very much Mr Lemon, my favourite Australian Geoffrey at Adelaide Oval since Geoff Dymock debuted for Australia back in 1974. That Test series against New Zealand features in this beautiful vignette from the National Film and Sound Archive of Australia.

Anyways, it’s handover time, as the gators optmistically sweep the field with their rope again, and the ground staff do the covers-off half of the dance. I’ll bid you farewell, and here comes Jonathan Pugilist Howcroft.

“I realise nobody cares about over rates (apart from every person who watches test matches but isn’t involved in running the game), but did we just get 22(!) overs in a full session?”

Quite so, Gavin Starchis. It was entirely bowled by quicks, so across 90 overs they would make up some time when the spinner settles in at one end for a long stint.

Here’s Ian Forth. “I’m a test cricket aficionado, but is there much point in this contest? We all know who’s going to win. Think I’m right in saying that of the 12 Test matches between the two countries this century, Australia have won all 12. All very well to say the opposition need to raise their game, but there’s nothing more likely to kill the format of a game off than meaningless competition. Something’s wrong somewhere.”

Hmm. A few things here. You must mean matches in Australia, because Pakistan has routinely towelled up Australia in the UAE. So should Australia never tour there either? Or never tour India, where they always lose? Most Test matches are mismatches, but they give teams the chance to defy that disadvantage. India had never won in Australia until last summer, but then they did. If we had decided beforehand that it could never happen, they wouldn’t have had the chance.

“Just an innocent question on over rates.” Alright, David Markham. The court grants you leave to proceed. “Why do they actually need a drinks break after 12 overs when it’s 17 degrees?”

A good question on its surface, when you consider the heat in which cricket is often played. But while it can look like a casual game, batting or bowling for an hour is very taxing work. Whatever the conditio.ns. So a break each hour seems fair enough when players go all day.

“Our neighbour almost threw this 1950s cricket book out!” writes Kathy Phillips. “One person’s trash is another’s treasure. Totally enjoying the breaks between overs while I slowly read about all the Ashes tests leading up to 1950, the stats, the grounds, players...Christmas has come early.”

I’m not smart enough to have rotated the image, sorry. You get the idea.

David Kalucy writes in. “Morning Mr Lemon. Well, this is exciting. It’s dawn in Spain, the cricket is on and my favourite time waster is upon us ready to spoil the screen time equality concept with my daughter. Even better that for the convenience of all us OS people they’ve moved the test to day/night, very considerate really. Nice to see Abbas back to the fray. Mixed feelings about the rain though - all things considered.”

My feelings about the rain are quite straightforward.

And now we’re back to full covers, because the drizzle is back. There was a forecast of 3 millimetres for today, but those drops seem to be arriving one at a time.

We’re back down to the hessian strip over the pitch. This is exciting.

But no, we got delayed by another shower, and now we’re trying the clean-up operation again.

We’re back to the one small central cover, and the Pakistan players are out warming up. It’s 16:53 Adelaide time.

The umpires are wandering out to chat to the ground staff now. The ropes are out, but the main cover is still on the square. Looks like it might have stopped raining right now, but that may not be long term.

This rain has set in fairly heavily. The radar suggests it will take some time to pass, although it will pass.

Ah, it’s raining again in Adelaide. Boo. We’ll be delayed for the restart.

An excellent session from David Warner. That was no Gabba flat track, there has been some seam and swing on a helpful surface in gloomy light. But Warner has come through those challenges, batted within himself, and taken his chances to score when they have presented themselves. Musa has been overwhelmed on debut, Abbas has not been at this best, and Yasir Shah has not been sighted. Pakistan had some early joy with the wicket of Burns but need plenty more.

22nd over: Australia 70-1 (Warner 45, Labuschagne 18) Three balls on a good length from Abbas, but he slips up with the fourth. Too full, and Warner gets a full stride forward and drives it through the covers for four. Top shot. In control. And the final score before the tea break.

21st over: Australia 66-1 (Warner 41, Labuschagne 18) Shaheen Afridi comes back for Musa, who will have a break to clear his head. The standard of the bowling lifts immediately, Shaheen testing out the area near the edge of Warner’s bat. Eventually the opener gets another drop-and-run single.

20th over: Australia 64-1 (Warner 40, Labuschagne 17) Only one run from the Abbas over, but it wasn’t a good one. The last five balls are all too wide of off stump, and Warner is happy to leave them alone. At least they weren’t short and wide.

19th over: Australia 63-1 (Warner 40, Labuschagne 16) Musa to Labuschagne, short again, pulled in the air but landing well short of the man at deep square leg. Musa comes around the wicket to Warner and too short again, cut away once more for four. This is has been a really poor display so far, the kid on debut needs to get his game working. He doesn’t though: short and guided to third man by Warner for a single, then short and straight and pulled for four by Labuschagne. A fifty partnership for this pair. And another no-ball for Musa, just to round out a miserable few minutes for him.

18th over: Australia 50-1 (Warner 35, Labuschagne 10) Wrong way around, Pakistan. Rather than Musa copying Abbas for length, Abbas copies Musa. Short, wide, and Warner crashes it for four. Warner has an average of 57 and three hundreds at the Adelaide Oval. Likes this surface.

17th over: Australia 45-1 (Warner 31, Labuschagne 9) Musa’s line is now on the body, but too short still. Warner pulls, not timing it but getting a run trickling out to midwicket. Labuschagne plays his pull better, getting the ball out towards the rope, but there’s a sweeper there for it.

16th over: Australia 43-1 (Warner 30, Labuschagne 8) Another maiden for Abbas, with Labuschagne walking across and trying to play him to the leg side consistently. Labuschagne showed his long-innings temperament in Brisbane, but batting here today might feel a bit more like England.

15th over: Australia 43-1 (Warner 30, Labuschagne 8) Warner keeps going after Musa, who keeps giving him too much width and bowling too short. Warner is using his cut shot now, first for a couple of runs, then smashing one for four.

14th over: Australia 37-1 (Warner 24, Labuschagne 8) Not much of a break for Abbas, who now comes back to replace Shaheen and change ends. Operating from the Cathedral End now, and bowling to Labuschagne. He misses a couple, once on the pads, once outside off, but when he does connect with another bad ball on leg stump he connects cleanly. Four through square leg.

13th over: Australia 33-1 (Warner 24, Labuschagne 4) There goes Warner! Decides he’s seen enough of the young Musa, and crashes a drive through cover before leaning back to uppercut a short ball over the cordon. Eight from the over.

12th over: Australia 25-1 (Warner 16, Labuschagne 4) Shaheen won’t get a rest yet. Drops short, and Warner swings hard with a pull shot but doesn’t time properly, gets three limping runs through midwicket. The bowler tries a couple of sharper short balls against Labuschagne, and the second nearly cleans him up. The batsman survives until drinks.

11th over: Australia 22-1 (Warner 13, Labuschagne 4) The bowling change comes now, with Muhammad Musa. A single to Warner, then he nearly bowls Labuschagne, who leaves a ball that seams back in at off stump. It’s also a no-ball, so Pakistan might actually be thankful that it didn’t hit the stumps, because if they had another debut bowler’s first wicket taken back for overstepping, as happened to Naseem Shah in Brisbane, it would really have dispirited them.

10th over: Australia 20-1 (Warner 12, Labuschagne 4) The opening bowlers still operating, with Shaheen again trying to draw Marnus outside off stump. The batsman won’t be tempted, defending so compactly and leaving when possible.

9th over: Australia 20-1 (Warner 12, Labuschagne 4) Mohammad Abbas is trying to make Warner play by pitching up, but overdoes it and Warner drives him for four! Just. The ball slows up markedly near the rope, but finally nudges it before the pursuing fielders can arrive. Leg-side next ball, through midwicket for two. Abbas gets back on target for the rest of the over.

8th over: Australia 14-1 (Warner 6, Labuschagne 4) Warner has found his method now: tip and run. This time he drops Shaheen into the off side and starts his sprint. Shaheen keeps Labuschagne in place with the next five balls.

7th over: Australia 13-1 (Warner 5, Labuschagne 4) After two more leaves, Warner finally escapes the examination from Abbas by dropping the ball towards midwicket and sprinting for a single. Marnus Labuschagne immediately is able to score where Warner couldn’t, as the bowler has to change to over the wicket to the right-hander. Abbas bowls on his pads and Labuschagne clips a boundary through midwicket. Tries to repeat the does to a leg-stump line, and gets a leading edge into the covers that falls safe.

6th over: Australia 8-1 (Warner 4, Labuschagne 0) These days Labuschagne isn’t just playing the Steve Smith lightsabre leave, he’s playing almost a mock pull shot when he leaves balls outside the off stump. Shaheen is bowling quickly and testing him out around off stump, then drops in a sharp bouncer that makes the batsman hop. This is good partnership bowling.

5th over: Australia 8-1 (Warner 4, Labuschagne 0) Abbas remains accurate, and Warner is quite happy to see off the bowler’s early overs and take plenty of time. Another maiden.

4th over: Australia 8-1 (Warner 4, Labuschagne 0) Nearly another wicket the ball after Burns goes, with Shaheen just beating the outside edge of Marnus Labuschagne. His bat clips the ground, and there’s a huge appeal in unison from the Pakistan team, but the umpire calls correctly and the Pakistanis don’t review.

An early wicket for Pakistan, after bowling at this opening partnership for so long up at the Gabba. Burns opens his account against Shaheen by striding forward into a cover drive for four, so Shaheen shortens his length a touch, gets a perfect line just on off stump, and Burns is drawn into a little open-faced push. The ball kisses near the shoulder of the bat and takes the edge.

3rd over: Australia 4-0 (Warner 4, Burns 0) Swing and seam for Abbas, but he starts the ball so wide of off stump that it nearly lands off the pitch. He gets his line right after that and draws a thick outside edge from Warner, steered through the cordon for four. Back into the pads comes Abbas, inswing this time! Warner gets enough on it, but this is a very encouraging start for the bowler.

2nd over: Australia 0-0 (Warner 0, Burns 0) Shaheen Afridi, the tall, left-armer, to start from the Cathedral End. He’s a bit too wide across Burns, who leaves five balls and reaches for the last to steer it to gully, nicely timed and could have flown for four but it finds the field.

1st over: Australia 0-0 (Warner 0, Burns 0) During that delay, Warner and Burns were sitting outside the rooms in their pressed clean whites, playing rock-paper-scissors. Was that to see who would face the first ball? Warner ends up taking it, Abbas with the ball. Accurate immediately, from around the wicket to the left-hander and just moving away. Left, then he bowls closer to off stump and draws a couple of defensive shots. A maiden to start.

Brian Withington writes in. “Storm clouds over Hamilton have forced the players off and English OBOers scurrying for succour elsewhere. What could be better than the mighty Lemon covering a pink ball Test at Adelaide? Bring it on, maestro.” Well, I blush. All the attention is coming over here? The pressure.

There’s a slight delay, not for rain itself but to tidy up after the bit that fell earlier. The gators are dragging the rope around.

“G’day Geoff, do you think Pakistan have more a fighting chance with the pink ball then they did in Brisbane?” asks Michael Hargreaves. “And with four quicks under 20 who can get north of 140 mark, do you think Pakistan should move their “Home” games at the UAE to our much maligned secondary grounds? Think Hobart, Canberra, Darwin and soon to be Brisbane would welcome a bashful speed brigade. Surly they’d get better crowds than three security guards and the WAGs.”

It’s not the worst idea, the latter. I guess it’s a longer flight from Pakistan to Australia. And Mohammad Amir rather put his foot in it when it comes to Pakistan being invited to host games in other Test countries, with his no-ball at Lord’s. And yes, hopefully they do have a chance with a combination of the pink ball, humidity, some life in this pitch, and Abbas.

Karl Winda Telfer leads an extensive opening ceremony of Indigenous dance, then the Qantas choir do their advertising bit, and now the teams come out for the anthems. The ground staff have covered the pitch with one small tarp, which is curious. It doesn’t look like it’s raining, but there is some very light drizzle I think. A few umbrellas (ellas, ellas) up.

The home team unchanged, while Pakistan have three expected changes: Imam in to open the batting with Azhar moving down the order and Haris Sohail dropped; one teenager fast bowler in Muhammad Musa to replace another in Naseem Shah (and make his debut as Naseem did last week); and most importantly, the seam genius Mohammad Abbas in for Imran Khan, to see if Abbas can replicate something like the brilliant form he displayed against Australia in the UAE a year ago.

Australia
David Warner
Joe Burns
Marnus Labuschagne
Steve Smith
Travis Head
Matthew Wade
Tim Paine
Pat Cummins
Mitchell Starc
Nathan Lyon
Josh Hazlewood

The first question is whether Australia’s top three can back up their big work from Brisbane. The second is whether Steve Smith will have to wait three days for a bat. The third is how he will bounce back from the first time he has ever made the outright lowest score in a full Australian innings.

There we are, convention holds sway. There’s a yellowish light through the thick cloud, so it might be hard to see the ball. A tricky session for the batsmen is coming up.

I also just realised I’m early. Forgot to change my watch to Adelaide time on arrival. Actually it was a deliberate decision, because I thought the extra half hour might help me be on time for things. It worked.

This is a Test match, so I’d love to see your correspondence. Emails come in to geoff.lemon@theguardian.com, otherwise you can tweet me at @GeoffLemonSport.

If you’re wondering, it’s not day five. It’s day one. We’ll sort out that technical mishap in the next little while. It will be very interesting to see what happens with the toss, with the cloud and the humidity. Though I can’t imagine Tim Paine bowling first after being bitten at the Oval.

Hello from the Adelaide Oval. The grand old girl has got her festive skirts on and is ready for another day-night Test. We had a traditional day game here last year at India’s request, but Adelaide is the new home of the pink ball and will revert to type here. What’s happening in Adelaide? Well, it rained a little bit in the last hour, but that has cleared up. It’s fairly warm and a little bit humid today so it won’t be uncomfortable for a crowd as long the sky juice doesn’t return. Both teams are out in the middlw arming up now, the Pakistanis with big rubber bands doing stretches and the Australians throwing their preferred flavour of football around. Smith has the rugby ball and Little Davey Warner, the walking contradiction, has the Sherrin.

Now the teams have got into their respective circles. Pakistan need to regroup after a thrashing. Australia need to maintain the charge. What’s going on in the Australian group? Applause over there, as though it were a cap presentation. Surely not a blindside Michael Neser debut? We can dream.

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New Zealand v England second Test, day two - as it happened

November 29, 2019, 9:46 pm
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  • England 39-2; New Zealand 375

Right, that’s it from me. Time for some shuteye. Be sure to stick around for Ali Martin’s report from Hamilton and all the reaction, plus join us again tomorrow/today for more hot OBO action. Buy from me, cheerio!

New Zealand’s day, undoubtably. Saving the game is the priority for England at the moment, never mind trying to win it. Much work to do for the captain and his team.

18th over: England 39-2 (Burns 24, Root 6) The final over of the day then, in all likelihood. Wagner charges in again. Burns is comfortable so the bowler switches to round the wicket. But Burns is able to flick away for a single, leaving his captain to face the last couple of deliveries. Root leaves and … flicks just wide of leg gully for a single! Cripes!

17th over: England 37-2 (Burns 23, Root 5) Daryl Mitchell, after his batting heroics earlier, gets the chance to turn his arm over. He struggles to make Burns play at first, swinging the ball away from the left hander, then gets bunted down the ground for a single.

16th over: England 36-2 (Burns 22, Root 5) Neil Wagner comes into the attack for the first time today. Cue the predictable short-pitched barrage. It’s calmly negotiated by Root, though.

15th over: England 35-2 (Burns 21, Root 5) Root, who has been on the defensive since arriving at the crease, is quick to pounce as Southee strays too full, clipping with consummate timing for four. This pair have maybe four more overs to get through.

14th over: England 30-2 (Burns 20, Root 1) Root stands firm in the face of another accurate, testing over from Henry, who has sent down an excellent spell. Another maiden.

13th over: England 30-2 (Burns 20, Root 1) Southee into the seventh over of his spell … and Burns is dropped again! He flicks in the air to midwicket where Raval dives but can’t cling on. The ball was travelling and it would’ve been a superb catch but … you’ve seen them taken. Another reprieve for Burns. Root gets off the mark from his 10th delivery, a single pushed through the covers.

12th over: England 28-2 (Burns 19, Root 0) Into the final 30 minutes of the day then. Root just about sees out a maiden from Henry.

11th over: England 28-2 (Burns 19, Root 0) Burns is a whisker away from inside-edging onto his own stumps, and instead picks up four more.

10th over: England 24-2 (Burns 15, Root 0) Henry gets the wicket he should’ve had last over. This is beginning to feel very much like New Zealand’s day. And New Zealand’s Test. And New Zealand’s series.

A cracking ball from Henry, an equally good take from Watling. England’s No 3 was just straightened up a touch as the ball wobbled away outside off and caught the edge of his defensive prod. The New Zealand wicketkeeper did superbly to scoop the ball low to his right.

9th over: England 20-1 (Burns 11, Denly 4) Southee continues and Burns again shows his good side, driving on the walk through the covers. Risky perhaps, but it’s the sort of shot that gets you forking over cash at the turnstiles.

8th over: England 20-1 (Burns 11, Denly 4) Burns, RAF moustache to the fore, unfurls one of those trademark ramrod-straight drives for four back past Henry. He really does look a Test opener for years to come. As to his partner, that remains a more open question. And as I type that, Burns wafts outside off, the edge flies through to first slip and Taylor puts down a dolly.

7th over: England 15-1 (Burns 6, Denly 4) Hawkeye shows the ball was careering into leg stump. The young opener’s balance was all over the shop there – perhaps he was a little shaken by the blows he’d taken earlier in his innings, if we were looking to be charitable? Denly flicks his first ball away for four through midwicket.

Southee gets one to lift up a touch off a length, the ball pinging into Sibley’s … box … area. Young Dominic has reaped the benefit of modern protective wear a couple of times already this innings. But there’s nothing that can protect him from this! He misses a straight one, Southee raps him on the pad and Dharmasena’s finger goes up. Might have been sliding down but he opted not to review. It’ll be interesting to see the Hawkeye.

6th over: England 11-0 (Burns 6, Sibley 4) Burns punches Henry down the ground for a couple and it has to be said that the England openers have made a very confident, unflustered start (other than the blow Sibley took in the third).

5th over: England 8-0 (Burns 4, Sibley 3) Southee continues and keeps Burns honest. The threat of rain seems to have dissipated and the ground is now bathed in sunlight and shadow (Oh Danny Boy etc). A few clouds are lingering but I’d be surprised if we get any interruptions now.

4th over: England 7-0 (Burns 4, Sibley 2) Sibley pinks up a single off Henry’s second over.

“John, as a public service to ageing test cricket observers, would you mind publishing the details of where to order the rock-hard six pack from?” requests Ian Forth.

3rd over: England 6-0 (Burns 4, Sibley 1) Southee is bang on the money here, probing away at the newcomer Sibley. Then – blimey – he ducks straight into a shorter ball which slams into the badge on his helmet. That was a heavy blow, the ball pinging off to point. The England physio comes out to take a look and go through a few checks. It’s a fairly lengthy delay but he’s OK to continue. Burns, who called his dazed partner through for a leg bye, ends the over with a glorious cover drive for four to get off the mark.

2nd over: England 1-0 (Burns 0, Sibley 1) Matt Henry at the other end.Ten dots to start the innings then Sibley nudges to leg to get the England total off the mark.

1st over: England 0-0 (Burns 0, Sibley 0) Southee starts things off with the ball for New Zealand, who will really fancy getting stuck into the England top order over the next hour or so. Burns, after nearly getting himself into a tangle off the first, sees out a maiden.

Out come Burns and Sibley for England. They have about an hour and 20 minutes to get through this evening. Meanwhile, after a little 4am teleshopping channel hopping here in the freezing, misty UK, I’m ready to get a rock-hard six pack, a bed that will enable me to sleep the best sleep ever and a steam-powered mop thing that I can also use to clean the bathroom taps.

Not the sort of total that guarantees a positive result for the hosts but a very useful one nevertheless. England are going to have to go very big here to stand a chance of victory and they’re going to have to do it at a reasonable lick.

And that’s that. Wagner goes first ball, flicking Curran’s low full toss straight to Sibley at midwicket.

129th over: New Zealand 375-9 (Wagner 0, Henry 5) A wicket maiden for Archer, which will feel pretty good after being blasted for a couple of sixes.

“In answer to Ali’s question (over 118), I’m pretty sure Matt Henry and Henry Nicholls have played together,” writes Ian Forth. “It’s harder to find an English example - although Steve James will have played together with James Maher for Glamorgan (not admittedly in England). Ashley Giles and Giles Clarke no doubt sat on the same committees together.”

Santner has an almighty swing at another Archer bouncer but swishes at fresh air on this occasion. He connects with his next effort … but picks out Woakes at square leg.

128th over: New Zealand 375-8 (Santner 23, Henry 5) Woakes … full … punched gloriously down the ground by Henry for four. Super shot that. And it’s followed by five dots.

127th over: New Zealand 371-8 (Santner 23, Henry 1) Six! Archer bangs one in short, looking for the extra bounce that Broad and Woakes have found, but Santner helps it on its way and over the rope down at backward square leg. And six more! A carbon copy, this time glancing off the forehead of a steward who was looking in the wrong direction. There’s a moment of worry but he’s all smiles afterwards, which is a relief.

126th over: New Zealand 359-8 (Santner 11, Henry 1) Matt Henry, who has a Test half century to his name, gets off the mark with a push into leg.

Woakes digs one in short, Southee offers the handle, Pope takes a comfortable pouch.

125th over: New Zealand 357-7 (Santner 10, Southee 18) Archer (25-7-58-0) replaces Broad. Southee calls Santner through for a quick single … Woakes’s shy at the stumps would’ve run him out with a direct hit. Santner, though, survives to prod the next ball through the gap in the slip cordon and away for a boundary that brings up 350. Four more byes come from the next, a steepling bouncer leaving Pope with no chance.

124th over: New Zealand 348-7 (Santner 6, Southee 17) Southee rocks back and flat bats Woakes straight down the ground for four, then guides through the covers for a single. He’s looking to get on with things. Santner, meanwhile, is happy enough to block out.

123rd over: New Zealand 343-7 (Santner 6, Southee 12) Broad has Southee scratching and scuffling untidily but can’t winkle the No 9 out. He scampers to the non-striker’s end, then there’s a huge appeal as Santner is struck on the pad. There was an equally huge inside edge – not out.

Meanwhile over in Adelaide, you can follow Australia’s run feast with – oof! – Geoff Lemon and Rob Smyth here:

Related: Australia v Pakistan: second Test, day two – live!

122nd over: New Zealand 342-7 (Santner 6, Southee 11) Woakes almost has Santner back in the hutch but a top edge drops safe. England might fancy wrapping this up pretty quickly now but Southee has other ideas, cutting very fine for four then launching over mid on for a couple more.

121st over: New Zealand 334-7 (Santner 5, Southee 4) So a very fine debut innings comes to an end. Tim Southee is the new batsman and gets off the mark with a little edge to third man. Broad has admirable figures of 27-7-72-4.

England seem to have succeeded in their latest petition to get the ball changed but it’s soon behaving in the same way as its predecessor, whistling away to the boundary off Mitchell’s bat. Another lovely cover drive from the debutant.

Broad digs in the next, though, and he has his man. This time Mitchell can’t get on top of his pull shot and sends a catch straight down the throat of Archer at deep backward square.

120th over: New Zealand 326-6 (Santner 5, Mitchell 69) Woakes – who looks to have been hitting the weights since the summer, he’s built like the proverbial brick outhouse – struggles to worry Santner, who adds two more to the total.

Weather watch: it has clouded over a fair bit but the clouds don’t look particularly threatening. Fingers crossed.

119th over: New Zealand 324-6 (Santner 3, Mitchell 69) Broad and Woakes are both bowling extremely full here, perhaps looking for reverse swing. It has resulted in the occasional ugly full bunger but has occasionally also discomfited the batsmen. Broad gives up just a couple of singles on this occasion.

118th over: New Zealand 322-6 (Santner 2, Mitchell 68) Because New Zealand have been scoring so slowly (in the main), England, despite being in the field for the best part of two days, are still in this if they can bag a couple of quick wickets here. Woakes instead strays onto Mitchell’s pads and gets neatly tucked away to cow corner for four.

Anyone?

@AWSStats@bbctms How often have we had a batting pair whose surnames combined make up the full name of one of them? Shouldn't take long...

117th over: New Zealand 317-6 (Santner 2, Mitchell 62) Broad has one ball left of this pre-tea over … and with it Santner gets off the mark with a couple pushed into the on side.

So England head off for tea with a spring in their collective step. It was a hugely challenging session for them but that wicket could keep them in the game. Can they capitalise?

Watling clips a full ball from Broad away for a single – had he missed that only his front pad would’ve prevented middle stump being ripped from its moorings. Mitchell pulls in slightly more unconvincing fashion than usual to again get England pulses jumping again … and then Broad makes the breakthrough. A ferocious rising delivery finds the splice of Watling’s bat and the ball pops up to Burns in the slips.

116th over: New Zealand 313-5 (Watling 54, Mitchell 62) Joe Root brings himself on for a quick twirl before the break, hoping against hope for a moment of magic or madness. No sign of either here though, just a trio of singles.

115th over: New Zealand 310-5 (Watling 52, Mitchell 61) This pair have been together for 51 overs now, a really impressive recovery from 191 for five. Tea is on the horizon, so Mitchell keeps his powder dry even though Broad sends down a couple of fairly juicy full tosses. Another maiden.

114th over: New Zealand 310-5 (Watling 52, Mitchell 61) And, typically, after pointing out the increasing run rate, a maiden from Curran.

113th over: New Zealand 310-5 (Watling 52, Mitchell 61) Runs are beginning to flow a little easier now. Broad bangs one in short but it sits up at just above hip height and Mitchell helps it on its way to fine leg for four. There were 24 runs scored in the first hour after lunch – there have been 38 in the 45 minutes since. Not exactly a deluge but a significant uptick as the bowlers have tired.

112th over: New Zealand 304-5 (Watling 52, Mitchell 55) Watling drives beautifully straight down the ground … too straight. Straight into the stumps at the bowler’s end, in fact. Four dots … then Watling goes to his 50 with by crashing a wide half volley from Curran through the covers for four.

111th over: New Zealand 300-5 (Watling 48, Mitchell 55) I should have mentioned this an over or two ago but Mitchell moving to his fifty also brought up the 100 partnership. Consider yourself informed. Stuart Broad returns to the fray. Mitchell, happy to take on the shorter ball, pulls hard for two to bring up the New Zealand 300.

110th over: New Zealand 298-5 (Watling 48, Mitchell 53) Sam Curran returns to the attack; Watling responds with a sweetly-timed off-drive for four. This pair are looking rock-solid at the moment, and they have all day in truth.

BJ Watling has now been out once in his last 20 hours at the crease in Tests. In that time (2nd Test v SL, in Aug, and in this series), he's faced 868 balls (144.4 overs), and scored 354 for 1. #timetotryreleasingthecrocodile#NZvENG

109th over: New Zealand 294-5 (Watling 44, Mitchell 53) Shot! Mitchell drives through the covers sumptuously as Stokes puts one in the slot. He nears a debut half-century … and he gets there in fine style, crunching a pull down to cow corner for four more.

108th over: New Zealand 286-5 (Watling 44, Mitchell 45) A short leg and a leg slip for Watling as Archer continues his search for a breakthrough. BJ carefully watches the first couple with an almost professorial intensity then flicks through midwicket as Archer overpitches. He does well to ride out a lifting delivery from the last too.

107th over: New Zealand 282-5 (Watling 40, Mitchell 45) Stokes continues. There were fears he would be out for the South Africa series with his knee injury but instead he’s charging in again. It’s hard to know how much to read into that – such is Stokes appetite for the contest that you feel he’d be all-too-ready for a six-over spell on a broken ankle. This time around he sends down a maiden at Mitchell.

106th over: New Zealand 282-5 (Watling 40, Mitchell 45) The forecast earlier was for a bit of rain this afternoon but the weather in Hamilton remains bright and sunny (with a bit of cloud about) as Mitchell thunks Archer back down the ground for four. The batsman has a big airy pull at the next but connects only with the Waikato air, but – BOOM – he makes contact with the same shot a ball or two later, Curran making a fine diving stop on the boundary. He wasn’t far off making the catch, actually.

105th over: New Zealand 273-5 (Watling 40, Mitchell 40) Hello and good evening/morning/whenever it is where you are. Whenever and wherever you have been during this series, there has been a good chance that BJ Watling will have been batting while you go about your business. Utterly untroubled and unruffled he’s looked today, though here Stokes tempts him a little into a big off-drive that he inside-edges back down the track.

104th over: New Zealand 272-5 (Watling 40, Mitchell 39) Archer tries going round the wicket to Watling, who – you’re not going to believe it – keeps him out. When Archer, quickening up now, goes back over the wicket, Watling cuts for two, and reaches 40 off his 157th ball. “The pitch is placid,” says Mike Atherton. And that’s drinks, with NZ ominously well set. In an effort to make something happen, I’m off to bed and John Ashdown is here to entertain you. Thanks for reading.

103rd over: New Zealand 269-5 (Watling 38, Mitchell 38) Stokes keeps Watling quiet – though the greater challenge might be to provoke him into making a noise.

102nd over: New Zealand 268-5 (Watling 38, Mitchell 37) Archer has a shout for LBW against Mitchell, who still seems a candidate for it, but it’s too high. A maiden leaves Archer with figures of 22-7-46-0. Looking at them, you might think he was a medium-pacer, which is what he has often been in this innings.

101st over: New Zealand 268-5 (Watling 38, Mitchell 37) Barrage time again, and Daryl Mitchell takes on Stokes. One swivel yields only a single, but the next races away for four. Even if he gets out in a minute, Mitchell can call his Test debut a success.

And here’s Brian Withington. “Some very gritty cricket in progress, so I’m rising to David Hindle’s dangled bait. Joe Root may be experiencing a lean run with the bat and some technical challenges but I suspect he is still England’s best batsman for the long term. Good luck finding a replacement, I say.

100th over: New Zealand 260-5 (Watling 35, Mitchell 32) Archer replaces Woakes and draws an inside edge from Watling, but it heads harmlessly into the pad. Off the past ten overs, there have been just 14 runs.

99th over: New Zealand 259-5 (Watling 35, Mitchell 31) Ben Stokes, England’s resident glutton for punishment, is back for more. His natural angle in brings a single and a two before he finds his line.

98th over: New Zealand 256-5 (Watling 33, Mitchell 30) Woakes is trying one variation per over, and this time it’s a slow yorker. Watling keeps it out with a phlematic prod. In his last four Test innings he has a personal tally of 420-2, with stays at the crease of 239 minutes, 306 minutes, 667 minutes and now 180 minutes, which makes a grand total of 1432. Or eight minutes short of 24 hours. The mind boggles.

97th over: New Zealand 255-5 (Watling 33, Mitchell 29) Curran to Watling. Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. “It’s a stalemate,” says Ian Smith.

96th over: New Zealand 255-5 (Watling 33, Mitchell 29) Another maiden from Woakes, who slips in a slower ball to keep us awake.

95th over: New Zealand 255-5 (Watling 33, Mitchell 29) Well, they are trying the barrage, but they’re getting Curran to deliver it. While he did take a wicket with a bouncer this morning, it’s asking a lot of a diminutive medium-pacer. “Hint of desperation,” says a commentator who may be Mark Richardson. Mitchell, seeing three men back for the hook, helps himself to a single; for Watling, the three men come in to save the single in the midwicket zone.

94th over: New Zealand 254-5 (Watling 33, Mitchell 28) Woakes bowls a bouncer to Watling which is so sparky and steep that you wonder if England shouldn’t try a barrage from Archer.

93rd over: New Zealand 253-5 (Watling 33, Mitchell 27) Runs! Five of them! Mitchell flicks Curran for a single, then Watling cuts for four. That sends his strike rate for the innings rocketing to 28.

92nd over: New Zealand 248-5 (Watling 29, Mitchell 26) Another over from Woakes, another maiden.

91st over: New Zealand 248-5 (Watling 29, Mitchell 26) Curran bowls a maiden to Mitchell, who nearly perishes, not through anything the bowler does, but by falling over as he decides against a run. Flat on his stomach, poking his bat back over the line, he loses his dignity but not his wicket.

An interesting take on Joe Root has landed in my inbox. “Root’s batting decline was already beginning before he got the captaincy,” says David Hindle. “It was a small drop off, but nevertheless it was there. Why will taking the captaincy away automatically correct the list of technical problems with his batting? Why will it stop his persistent nicking off to nothing balls? Why will it stop him falling over his front leg in embarrassing style to perfectly straight ones? It won’t.

90th over: New Zealand 248-5 (Watling 29, Mitchell 26) Woakes beats Watling, too comprehensively to catch the edge. And that is lunch, with New Zealand owning the last hour and honours even over the morning as a whole. We’ve had 35.2 overs and NZ have made 75-2. Most of the bowlers have been good, but England’s collective energy, so strong at first, has gone flat. With rain around, the draw must be the favourite and that suits NZ just fine. See you in half an hour.

89th over: New Zealand 248-5 (Watling 29, Mitchell 26) While we’re on the subject of slo-mo, Rory Burns pulls off a half-stop in the gully which, when slowed down, turns into a ballet. It brings a song to mind – any Boz Scaggs fans in the house?

The angels lay their clouds across his sky
They line up for him every night
Some have wings and others sing
The rest do lazy ballets in the air

88th over: New Zealand 247-5 (Watling 28, Mitchell 26) Woakes continues, conceding a couple of singles. More importantly, here’s John from Turton, replying to Ben Bernards (77th over). “To be fair, it was a reference to the rugby community. On the way to the ground this morning, there was a guy on the AM sports channel going on about Wayne Barnes’s mistake in the World Cup final 12 years ago! The cricket followers do have a much better sense of proportion.” This is like an argument in a very nice pub, filmed in slow motion.

87th over: New Zealand 245-5 (Watling 27, Mitchell 25) Archer is off too, replaced by Curran, who beats Mitchell outside off. There was a noise, and an appeal, but the noise was the thud of bat on pitch.

86th over: New Zealand 243-5 (Watling 26, Mitchell 24) Root takes Broad off, quite rightly, and brings on Woakes. He starts with an ellipsis – dot, dot, dot –before going one, one, dot. It’s all a bit too tidy from England. Root may be regretting not having Saqib Mahmood among his five seamers.

85th over: New Zealand 241-5 (Watling 25, Mitchell 23) The fifty partnership comes up, bathetically, with a leg bye off Archer. It’s taken 21 overs, not that that will bother Watling, who was probably born imperturbable. It’s a maiden for Archer, but there’s no threat.

84th over: New Zealand 240-5 (Watling 25, Mitchell 23) Broad’s finding some movement but it’s modest and into the pads, where most batsmen are comfortable.

83rd over: New Zealand 237-5 (Watling 24, Mitchell 21) Mitchell keeps on flirting with LBW, jabbing and flicking at straight balls, but it’s working for him. Jofra has found a few extra Ks, up to 138 now.

82nd over: New Zealand 234-5 (Watling 24, Mitchell 18) Well, Broad isn’t the third seamer yet: he stays on, and Woakes will have to wait. “This is the moment in the game,” says David Lloyd. “This is it.” And he suspects that England are not raising their intensity – though Broad, as if hearing him, has an LBW appeal against Mitchell with a nice late inswinger. That would be very reviewable, if England weren’t out of reviews. But HawkEye agrees with umpire Dharmasena that it was going over, just.

81st over: New Zealand 232-5 (Watling 23, Mitchell 17) Root takes the new ball and hands it to Jofra Archer, with a suspicion that it’ll be Woakes at the other end. Archer’s second ball swings in after passing the stumps, wrong-footing Pope and going for a bye. There’s some bite and bounce, but, as yet, no pace: the first four balls are only 130-132 kph.

80th over: New Zealand 230-5 (Watling 22, Mitchell 17) I don’t believe it! After 17 successive dots, Watling tucks Broad for a triumphant two. And then cover-drives him for four. Broad, who bowled well this morning, is looking a bit third-seamer-ish now.

79th over: New Zealand 224-5 (Watling 16, Mitchell 17) Stokes bowls what is surely his last over. He’s limping back to his mark, yet still running in and bowling faster than Broad. His itch to be involved is ridiculous.

78th over: New Zealand 224-5 (Watling 16, Mitchell 17) Denly’s little outing is over as Broad returns. Yet another maiden, the 20th of the innings.

77th over: New Zealand 224-5 (Watling 16, Mitchell 17) Stokes looks in proper pain now, though it doesn’t stop him appealing for caught behind against Mitchell. Pope and Root are very interested but they don’t have any reviews left.

Here’s Ben Bernards, picking up on John from Turton (71st over). “What’s with this geezer? We’ve had a lot of English migrate to NZ in the last 10-15 years, but not sure we’ve reached an overall national status of ‘whingers’ just yet...” At last, a diplomatic incident.

76th over: New Zealand 223-5 (Watling 15, Mitchell 17) Milking time for Denly. Root is filling space before the new ball but there’s a case for getting Archer on now, so he’s firing on all cylinders when he has something shiny in his hand.

75th over: New Zealand 219-5 (Watling 14, Mitchell 14) Watling flicks Stokes for two, but then misses one that straightens outside off. Watching Watling today, you’d never guess he’d just made a double hundred.

74th over: New Zealand 217-5 (Watling 12, Mitchell 14) Denly gives his first ball oodles of air and Mitchell is equal to it, biding his time before playing a cover drive. A couple of balls later, Mitchell is dancing down the track and hitting a straight six, which a TV graphic clocks at 110 metres.

73rd over: New Zealand 209-5 (Watling 12, Mitchell 6) Stokes is game for a second over, angling it in as he always has. Even with a dicky knee, he can bowl a bouncer that vaults over the keeper for two byes. That’s another maiden. Anyone feeling sleepy?

72nd over: New Zealand 207-5 (Watling 12, Mitchell 6) Stung by all that criticism, Joe Root has suddenly become Mr Funky Bowling Changes. He replaces Curran with Joe Denly’s leg-breaks, which didn’t feature at all in the last Test. Root is rewarded with a very handy over – five dots and a single to Watling. And that’s drinks, with the morning belonging firmly to England.

71st over: New Zealand 206-5 (Watling 11, Mitchell 6) Off goes Woakes, and on comes... Stokes! So much for Ian Ward’s story at the start of the day (20:48). He runs in as normal, although there are one or two grimaces and gyrations as he walks back. Mitchell, perhaps wary of Stokes’ s reputation, plays out another maiden.

Here’s John from Turton. “I know this subject’s been aired before but has anyone explained the one-minute delay? I suspect the Radio NZ Sport commentator is less than a cover drive’s distance from me but he’s had time to send a smoke signal by the time it catches up. Also, why doesn’t Sky Go work in the Land of the Long White Whinge?”

70th over: New Zealand 206-5 (Watling 11, Mitchell 6) Curran follows the review with a long hop, which Watling clubs through backward point. That’s the first boundary today off Curran, whose spell now stands at 5-2-8-1.

A medium-sized appeal, not given, no big deal – but they’ve reviewed, which seems odd. “Looks like a deflection off the bat,” says the TV ump. And it is, so not out.

69th over: New Zealand 202-5 (Watling 7, Mitchell 6) A maiden from Woakes to Mitchell, who is now starting on off stump. We’ve had 15 runs in the past ten overs, and nine of them came in that little flurry of four balls from Woakes.

68th over: New Zealand 202-5 (Watling 7, Mitchell 6) Mitchell is falling over to the off side, which should make him a candidate for LBW b Curran. And the TV cameras have spotted his mum filming him on her phone, which could make him a candidate for collapsing with sheer embarrassment.

67th over: New Zealand 201-5 (Watling 7, Mitchell 5) Off his ninth ball, Mitchell finally connects with one of his big square-of-the-wicket strokes, flicking a short ball from Woakes for a handsome first four. Watling adds insult to injury with a poky little push-edge for four, and that’s the 200 up. “New Zealand’s best over of the morning,” says Ian Smith. “Rolling in the deep,” adds Adele, on the PA.

66th over: New Zealand 192-5 (Watling 3, Mitchell 0) Another maiden as Curran pitches it up, searching for swing, and Watling’s drives go to the men in the ring.

Here’s John Starbuck. “if England restrict NZ to 250 or so they’ll feel they’ve done a good job. The poverty of current expectations?” I wouldn’t quit say that. It’s true that if Jimmy Anderson was here, you’d have expected the score to be 170 for seven last night. But 250 all out would be fine, wouldn’t it?

65th over: New Zealand 192-5 (Watling 3, Mitchell 0) Woakes keeps it tight to Watling and then jags a short one past the outside edge of Mitchell, who is being given an early introduction to the difference between Tests and T20.

64th over: New Zealand 191-5 (Watling 2, Mitchell 0) Out comes Daryl Mitchell, for the first time in Test cricket, though he has the comforts of his home ground. He stands well outside his crease, which surely means you stick a short leg in to keep him pegged down. Root doesn’t. Curran tries another bouncer and Mitchell misses it by a mile with a hook that’s more of a flail. A wicket maiden for Curran, who so often makes something happen.

Curran, who deserved a wicket five minutes ago, has one now as Nicholls gets under his bouncer and gives Broad a simple catch at fine leg. England are back in business.

63rd over: New Zealand 191-4 (Nicholls 16, Watling 2) Time for another change, as Woakes replaces Archer. Woakes’s line and length are as tidy as his hair, and more so than his new-found beard.

“Evening Tim.” Evening, Guy Hornsby. “I’m embarrassed to say I thought play began at 10pm, so my gallows-ready humour had been slightly deflated by seeing Tom Latham’s already out.” First-world problems, eh. “I can’t even get my despondency in properly. Is there anything more English, staying in on a Friday night?”

62nd over: New Zealand 191-4 (Nicholls 16, Watling 2) Time for a change: Broad gives way to Sam Curran, who is 12 years younger, a foot shorter and much the same speed. He immediately draws a nick from Watling – and it falls tantalisingly short of Ollie Pope, who had to change direction where perhaps an experienced keeper would have been in the right place.

61st over: New Zealand 188-4 (Nicholls 14, Watling 1) Archer moves over the wicket to the left-handed Nicholls, who is hit on the thigh as he tries to whip to leg. Another maiden. Archer may be averaging 146 with the ball in this short series but he is only going at 2.48 per over.

60th over: New Zealand 188-4 (Nicholls 14, Watling 1) After defending a series of full, straight deliveries from Broad, Nicholls pulls the last ball of the over to deep backward square for a single. England are one quick wicket from being in a very good position.

59th over: New Zealand 187-4 (Nicholls 13, Watling 1) A lovely yorker from Archer is kept out by Watling. A maiden. England have started well this morning, with accuracy and intensity.

58th over: New Zealand 187-4 (Nicholls 13, Watling 1) Broad, the wise old don of the attack in the absence of Anderson, bowls another accurate over. He has excellent figures of 16-5-38-2.

57th over: New Zealand 186-4 (Nicholls 13, Watling 0) Nicholls flicks Archer breezily through square leg for four. Archer’s request for a field change is rejected by Root, and the pair have a long chat at the end of the over. Their relationship is worth keeping an eye on.

56th over: New Zealand 182-4 (Nicholls 9, Watling 0) BJ Watling is the new batsman.

A rare, almost shocking mistake from Tom Latham gives England an early wicket. He offered no stroke to Broad, bowling around the wicket, and heard the grim sound of his off stump being pegged back. Latham played with such expert judgement that it’s hard to believe he left a straight one. It did jag back a touch, but not enough to absolve Latham.

55th over: New Zealand 178-3 (Latham 101, Nicholls 9) Jofra Archer completes the over he started yesterday afternoon. His first ball is a sharp, 88mph bouncer that Latham avoids. Another bouncer hits Latham on the shoulder and flies away for a leg bye. But the final delivery of the over is a bit too straight, which allows Nicholls to jump across and flick it fine for four.

Some unsurprising news from Hamilton: Ben Stokes will not be able to bowl today, according to Sky Sports’ Ian Ward. It means England are down to their last four seamers.

Barney Ronay on Joe Root

Related: It’s time to admit that Joe Root should not be England’s Test captain | Barney Ronay

Ali Martin’s first-day report

Related: New Zealand's Latham hits 101 in second Test as England's Stokes pulls up

Evening everyone, morning everyone else, and welcome to the second day of the second Test. The first day was ... frustrating. Just over half the overs were lost to rain, and after gambling by putting New Zealand in, Joe Root had only three wickets to show for it. Tom Latham, with a compact unbeaten hundred, and Ross Taylor, with a hot-and-cold fifty, calmly assembled the partnership that won the day.

Root and Chris Silverwood had picked an XI with an eye on pub-quiz immortality – five seamers, no spinner, no regular keeper – but the performance was better than the cast list. Jofra Archer, who took no wickets, bowled as well as Chris Woakes, who took two, and would have got rid of Latham soon after lunch had Ben Stokes not dropped another expensive catch.

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Australia v Pakistan: second Test, day two – live!

November 30, 2019, 2:38 am
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  • Updates from the second day at Adelaide Oval
  • Australia declare on 589-3 with David Warner 335 not out
  • Any thoughts? Email them to Rob

31st over: Pakistan 89-4 (Babar 40, Iftikhar 10) Babar squirts Cummins through backward point for a couple. The commentators aren’t happy with Australia’s passive-aggressive fields, with a deep point and only one slip for Babar. I’ll leave with you: I can see both sides.

30th over: Pakistan 87-4 (Babar 38, Iftikhar 10) Australia’s bowlers have been very chirpy towards Iftikhar in particular. Perhaps they’re reminding him that this 10 not out is the highest score of his burgeoning Test career.

29th over: Pakistan 84-4 (Babar 36, Iftikhar 9) Cummins replaces Hazlewood (8-2-29-1) and is cuffed through the covers for four by Iftikhar. He doesn’t look convincing, but at least he’s trying to put some pressure on the Australian bowlers.

“Do you think if you keep saying ‘supracaudal gland’ you might get some anatomy-related commissions?” says Eamonn Maloney. “Ever MBMed a surgical procedure?”

28th over: Pakistan 80-4 (Babar 36, Iftikhar 5) Pakistan have just under 40 minutes to survive until the close. Iftikhar has the windiest of woofs at Starc and is beaten again; he is struggling.

27th over: Pakistan 79-4 (Babar 36, Iftikhar 4) A quiet over from Hazlewood - two from it.

26th over: Pakistan 77-4 (Babar 34, Iftikhar 4) Iftikhar tries to uppercut a wide one from Starc and is beaten. He edges a fuller, follow-up delivery on the bounce to second slip. The Pakistan batsmen, Babar and Masood excepted, have been very loose this evening. In their defence, the Australian fast bowling has been relentless.

25th over: Pakistan 76-4 (Babar 33, Iftikhar 4) Babar drives Hazlewood down the ground for three. It was in the air but Hazlewood was unable to reach it in his follow through. Iftikhar then gets off the mark with a punchy drive for four.

24th over: Pakistan 69-4 (Babar 30, Iftikhar 0) Starc’s figures reflect an excellent performance: 8-3-17-2.

Asad Shafiq’s miserable struggle is over. The ball after edging Starc for four, he snicked a good delivery through to the keeper. Australia are into the supracaudal gland.

23rd over: Pakistan 65-3 (Babar 30, Shafiq 5) Babar is beaten, playing an unbecoming stroke at Hazlewood. He upbraids himself internally and then flicks imperiously to the midwicket boundary. A lively over concludes when Babar plays a defensive stroke that kicks up to hit him on the chin. He’s fine.

22nd over: Pakistan 61-3 (Babar 26, Shafiq 5) Starc replaces Cummins. His second ball beats Asad, who continues to flirt fecklessly outside off stump. There are 19 overs remaining today, and it’s time for drinks.

21st over: Pakistan 59-3 (Babar 25, Shafiq 4) Babar times consecutive boundaries off Hazlewood, an elegant cover drive followed by a clip through square leg. He’s playing on a different pitch - or, rather, in a different twilight - to all the other Pakistan batsmen. He bats with such grace and serenity, and to hell with the fact his team are getting stuffed.

“As a fan of proper cricket got to say I’m disappointed by Warner’s lack of runs in the V,” says Pete Salmon. “Should be straight in the nets after play and concentrate on keeping that elbow pointing skywards. Plenty of room for improvement.”

20th over: Pakistan 51-3 (Babar 17, Shafiq 4) Babar Azam is Pakistan’s best player, by a distance. His overall Test record (1345 runs at 36.59) doesn’t do him justice, but he averages 52 in the last couple of years. He looks comfortable at the crease. Shafiq does not, at least not yet, and he edges Cummins’ last delivery a fraction short of Wade in the slips.

19th over: Pakistan 48-3 (Babar 14, Shafiq 4) Babar drives Hazlewood majestically through mid-off for four. I was going to say he’s a beautiful player, but I was always taught not to state the bleedin’ obvious.

18th over: Pakistan 43-3 (Babar 9, Shafiq 4) These two are Pakistan’s best players, so Australia will feel they are one wicket away, if not from the tail then at least the supracaudal gland. They almost get it when Shafiq edges his second ball just wide of the diving Labuschagne at third slip.

17th over: Pakistan 38-3 (Babar 8, Shafiq 0) This could get pretty messy for Pakistan.

Shan Masood has gone, caught behind off Josh Hazlewood. Having left the ball beautifully throughout his innings, Masood felt for a good delivery outside off stump that straightened just enough to take a thin outside edge on its way through to Tim Paine.

One for Starc, one for Cummins, and now one for Hazlewood!#AUSvPAKpic.twitter.com/uMDLkZ1RRX

16th over: Pakistan 38-2 (Masood 19, Babar 8) Babar Azam is beaten, fencing at another good delivery from Cummins. This is a nice contest between two of the world’s best cricketers. When Cummins slips one full and wide, Babar clatters it to the cover boundary.

An extraordinary innings from Warner. Hardly played down the ground & scored more than half his runs through point & covers region. Only 3.6% runs came in the 'V' down the wicket. Of all double hundreds in our database since 2006, this is the lowest in the straight 'V'. #AUSvPAKpic.twitter.com/tQWD4S5EGU

15th over: Pakistan 34-2 (Masood 19, Babar 4) Masood plays a defensive stroke off Hazlewood, with the ball getting stuck behind the flap of his pad. Warner grabs the ball and launches into a mock-appeal. The next ball, the last of the over, zips past the edge. The pink ball is starting to talk under the lights.

14th over: Pakistan 34-2 (Masood 19, Babar 4) A half-volley from Cummins is flicked sweetly to the square-leg boundary by Masood, who is playing with calm authority. Babar Azam drives classily for four to get off the mark; Cummins responds with a peach that squares Babar up and goes past the edge.

13th over: Pakistan 25-2 (Masood 14, Babar 0) Josh Hazlewood replaces Mitchell Starc, who bowled a good opening spell of 6-3-11-1. A quiet over to start.

“Morning Rob,” says Brian Withington. “That Warner scoring sequence could perhaps also be captured algebraically in the expression: 2 x K >> 10 x D (although it should be noted that this does not apply to freaks of nature like Steve Smith for whom 8 x D is greater than England’s entire team).”

12th over: Pakistan 22-2 (Masood 11, Babar 0) Babar Azam has been promoted to No4.

Steve Smith takes a splendid catch to get rid of the Pakistan captain Azhar Ali. He edged a fullish delivery from Cummins low to second slip, where Smith moved smartly to grab the ball with both hands just below the ground. The umpires went upstairs to confirm it had carried, and replays confirmed it was a clean take. And a darned good one.

11th over: Pakistan 21-1 (Masood 10, Azhar 9) Azhar Ali has a fine record against the Aussies, with an average of 55. That includes an unbeaten double hundred at the MCG three years ago. He digs out a yorker from Starc, and that’s all she wrote.

10th over: Pakistan 20-1 (Masood 9, Azhar 9) Cummins is too straight to Azhar Ali, who times him crisply through midwicket for the first boundary of the innings. These two, probably Pakistan’s most patient batsmen, are playing nicely.

9th over: Pakistan 15-1 (Masood 8, Azhar 5) Masood works a short one from Starc off the breast for a couple and then drives pleasantly for three. There hasn’t been much movement for the quicks, although that may change when we enter the twilight zone.

8th over: Pakistan 9-1 (Masood 3, Azhar 4) Shan Masood continues to leave well against Cummins, although he needs to be careful with the angle from around the wicket. He waves a slightly unconvincing drive into the covers for two off the fifth delivery of the over.

7th over: Pakistan 7-1 (Masood 1, Azhar 4) Starc resumes after dinner, and concedes his first runs of the innings when Azhar drives through mid-off for a couple. And why not?

“Was that declaration by Tim Paine really necessary?” says Kaushik Sarvadey. “I suppose the urgency was not required because the Aussies had plenty of time.”

“Morning/evening, Rob,” says David Horn. “Impressive though your Countdown ability is, Warner’s scores post-reintegration are more reminiscent of Numberwang.”

6th over: Pakistan 3-1 (Masood 1, Azhar 0) Masood continues to leave as much as possible, mainly on line. Cummins moves around the wicket as a result and has a huge shout for LBW turned down by Michael Gough. That looked very close, but Australia only have one review remaining and Tim Paine decides not to risk it.

That was the last ball of the session. It’s been an agreeable day for Australia: David Warner made 335 not out, the highest Test score at the Adelaide Oval, before Mitchell Starc ripped out Imam-ul-Haq. See you in 40 minutes for the twilight session.

5th over: Pakistan 3-1 (Masood 1, Azhar 0) A wicket maiden from Starc, whose figures are 3-3-0-1.

That’ll do. Imam, softened up by a nasty short ball, edges a good one from Starc straight to Warner in the gully. Australia’s bowlers have started ruthlessly, and that wicket comes as no surprise.

4th over: Pakistan 3-0 (Masood 1, Imam 2) Masood gets off the mark from his 10th delivery, flicking Cummins for a single. He and Imam are constructing their innings on a need-to-play basis, with a clear plan to leave anything even slightly outside off stump.

3rd over: Pakistan 1-0 (Masood 0, Imam 1) Starc is already close to 150kph, and bowls a second maiden - this time to the strokeless Imam-ul-Haq. Pakistan’s openers are ready for their supper.

2nd over: Pakistan 1-0 (Masood 0, Imam 1) Imam gets off the mark with a dodgy single off Cummins. Shan Masood, who was slow to respond, would have been out with a direct hit from Head in the covers. Cummins ends an excellent over by ripping one past Masood’s outside edge. This has been a ferocious start from the Australian bowlers.

“I think the equation could be simplified,” says Rowan Sweeney. “Warner - Stuart Broad = 335.”

IMAM IS NOT OUT! Australia lose a review. It was a good delivery from Cummins, bowling over the wicket to Imam. It would certainly have hit the stumps - but replays showed it pitched outside leg.

AUSTRALIA REVIEW FOR LBW AGAINST IMAM! I think this pitched outside leg.

1st over: Pakistan 0-0 (Masood 0, Imam 0) “Evening Rob,” says Phil Withall. “Looking at Warner’s scores since his return to Test cricket made me wish they’d had a numbers round in Extreme Countdown...”

Arf. I think you can get 335 by using all his Ashes scores: 61 x 5 + 11 + 3 + (8x2) + 0 + 0 + 0 = 335.

Shan Masood is given out LBW - but the decision is overturned on review. There was a faint inside-edge, although strangely Masood only reviewed after 13 or 14 seconds.

Mitchell Starc will open the bowling. There’s just under half an hour before the dinner break.

Warner’s innings in full

335* from 418 balls, with 39 fours, one six - and, as Damien McLean pointed out a few overs ago, umpteen quick singles. Warner? Phwoarner more like!

We'd say you have plenty of patience @davidwarner31pic.twitter.com/hRKoFTtRvy

Seeing Warner's celebrations and feeling bad that Imran Tahir never got a 300

So, what did you do at the weekend? David Warner made 335 not out.

Warner’s scores since his return to Test cricket looks like the kind of maths puzzle even Max Fischer couldn’t solve: 2, 8, 3, 5, 61, 0, 0, 0, 5, 11, 154, 335*.

127th over: Australia 589-3 declared (Warner 335, Wade 38) Warner waves Iftikhar for a single to move to 335, the second highest score in Australian Test history, and Tim Paine decides to leave it at that. Warner walks off to a standing ovation from the crowd and a guard of honour from his team-mates. After all he’s been through in the last couple of years, that is a thoroughly lovely moment.

126th over: Australia 582-3 (Warner 330, Wade 36) No sign of a declaration, which suggests Australia will bat on after tea. The 400 might actually be on. For now, Warner is five away from the second highest Test score for Australia - Don Bradman and Mark Taylor, famously, both made 334.

“I’ve got to say, it’s been a privilege to watch this whole knock live,” says Damien McLean. “Say what you will about this Pakistani attack, but you still have to make the runs. This hasn’t been the Warner I’ve watched in the past, who used to make a hundred then just try and hit the bowlers out of the park. Great to see what he can do when he puts his mind to playing long. The running between the wickets has been the highlight for me; running as hard now as early yesterday.”

125th over: Australia 579-3 (Warner 329, Wade 34) “Good morning,” says Matt. “So I am following the match, still learning about the sport, and my question is how many days long is a match?”

A Test match is usually scheduled to last five days, but sometimes it’s four. And some of them finish in three or even days. There are also one-day matches, but they occasionally go to a second day. Confused? Splendid. Now lie down on the couch and tell me about your schooldays.

124th over: Australia 574-3 (Warner 325, Wade 33) Musa Khan returns to the attack, the poor sod. Five from the over.

123rd over: Australia 569-3 (Warner 323, Wade 30) Warner cuffs Iftikhar for four more. His Test average in Australia has gone past 67, which is a record for an opener in home Tests (minimum 10 innings). He has had his moments away from home, most notably those storming hundreds in South Africa in 2013-14, but he will be remembered as a devastating player in home conditions.

“Good work,” says Michael Barker. “But when will they declare, Rob?”

122nd over: Australia 560-3 (Warner 315, Wade 29) Wade runs down the wicket and launches Abbas miles in the air. The ball teases midwicket and deep square leg before plopping safely. It was in the air so long that the batsmen were able to turn for the third.

Warner then shows Wade how to do it with a blistering pull into the crowd. That’s his first six of the innings. He heaves violently at the next ball, slicing it over the solitary slip for four more. Warner is trying to get as many as possible before the declaration. He is 315 not out.

121st over: Australia 543-3 (Warner 301, Wade 26) Thanks Geoff, evening everyone. Wade slaps Iftikhar square on the off side for four to continue this orgy of runs in Adelaide. The most euphoric moment may be yet to come: David Warner is 99 away from you know what.

120th over: Australia 537-3 (Warner 300, Wade 21) He’s done it! Warner plays an on-drive, rolling towards the rope. It teases the fielders, teases the crowd, then runs into the rope. Three hundred for Warner! What a return to form. He’s been prolific, but this would have been beyond even his dreams. Batting long, going huge, those have never been big parts of his batting career. But here, he has. The luck has been there, the skill has been there, and the fortitude has been there. David Warner joins the slender ranks of those with Test triples. And as if to prove that he’s not done yet, Warner sets up again to leave and defend the next five balls of the Abbas over.

And with that, what better time to hand over to that famed lover of all things Warner, Rob Smyth.

119th over: Australia 533-3 (Warner 296, Wade 21) Warner moves quickly towards his triple, clobbering Iftihkar for four through square leg, then adding two more through cover.

118th over: Australia 526-3 (Warner 289, Wade 21) Abbas comes back into the attack. By now it’s less an attack than a gentle request. Wade doesn’t care for the parsimony of Abbas, so he whacks a couple through point and four through the covers.

117th over: Australia 519-3 (Warner 288, Wade 15) Yasir’s horror run continues, as Wade decides that he’s going to channel 2012 Warner. Gets into position early, feet apart, weight down, ready to heave, and launches a pull-slog into the stands. High and long, no finesse about that but plenty of contact. Yasir is about to bring up his own double-century.

116th over: Australia 510-3 (Warner 286, Wade 8) Warner’s placement through cover has been a real feature of this innings. Again he leans forward and drives, again he finds the finest of gaps to stream to the boundary. Shaheen can do nothing.

115th over: Australia 505-3 (Warner 281, Wade 8) Yasir is having a miserable old time at the Adelaide Oval, much as Imran Tahir had at the hands of Warner back in 2012. That was more gung-ho, this is more relentless. Less relentful? You get the idea. Warner sweeps another boundary, ticks another single. Wade slogs a couple of runs. Yasir keeps going at worse than 6 runs per over.

114th over: Australia 496-3 (Warner 275, Wade 5) Shaheen is right on the spot to Wade, landing his length really well. The over is quiet until Wade edges along the ground for a boundary.

113th over: Australia 492-3 (Warner 275, Wade 1) Suddenly things quiet down, with just a couple of singles from the Yasir over. Wade is immediately sweeping, as is his wont.

112th over: Australia 490-3 (Warner 274, Wade 0) Matthew Wade is next in, after some decent runs at Brisbane last week. He’s immediately the subject of a DRS challenge, having pushed at Shaheen outside off, but there’s no contact between bat and ball on the forensics. Shaheen has 3 for 79, and has tried hard.

What’s this? Another modest score from Smith! He’s made 40 in the series while his teammates have rattled up about a thousand between them. And this was to another yahoo shot. He doesn’t seem at his best when Australia is right on top and he’s supposed to cash in. He aims a huge swipe at Shaheen, apparently aiming somewhere over wide long-on, and gets a faint inside edge having completely lost his shape. Shaheen does the big Starman celebration pose. Maybe save it for when the oppo isn’t 500 ahead, champ.

111th over: Australia 490-2 (Warner 274, Smith 36) That was less conventional from Warner. Gets a ball spinning into his pads from Yasir, and whips across the line at it, all wrists after reaching around his front pad, and somehow middles it for four. That’s a fairly high-risk stroke though. Safer when Yasir drops short and Warner cuts a couple. Two more through cover.

110th over: Australia 481-2 (Warner 266, Smith 35) Warner is happy to continue against Shaheen in his safety-conscious style. Nothing extravagant, leaves and defends a few, then seizes on the overpitched delivery to off-drive it for four.

109th over: Australia 477-2 (Warner 262, Smith 35) The break has ended, and Yasir has the ball. There’s a big appeal from him and Rizwan in concert, though no one else joins in, when the ball beats Smith’s bat and flicks the flap of his pad. But I fancy it hit him outside off and was turning away. A couple of singles are added.

An extraordinary start to the day for Australia. Warner and Labuschagne were flying through the first overs, and with Smith ended up piling on 173 runs in a session extended by half an hour. Pakistan had a moment of happiness when Shaheen castled Marnus with a lovely ball that swung into him, but one wicket did not yield anything further.

Warner this international summer has 702 runs for two dismissals. He’ll continue in a moment, and so will we.

108th over: Australia 475-2 (Warner 261, Smith 34) Last over before the short tea break, which comes first in day-night matches, and Warner is happy to see off Shaheen after Smith takes a single first ball.

107th over: Australia 474-2 (Warner 261, Smith 33) Warner nearly run out, but he’s fast and he dives just as he does so often in T20 cricket. Two more runs to his total after once more helping Yasir through fine leg. He goes further into one-day mode, playing the reverse-sweep to Yasir’s over-the-wicket line. Knowing there’s a large gap behind point, Warner makes the most of it for four.

106th over: Australia 468-2 (Warner 255, Smith 33) Shaheen is bowling decently, again excited as a ball moves back towards Smith’s off stump, but again it’s a ball that looks good but isn’t really threatening. Just a Warner single from the over.

105th over: Australia 467-2 (Warner 254, Smith 33) Three for Smith and then three for Warner off Yasir, both of them working the leggie away through fine leg. The TV replay picks up that Warner didn’t actually ground his heel for the third run, but the umpire didn’t notice. In the book, he has now made a new highest Test score, passing his 253 against NZ at the WACA four years ago.

104th over: Australia 461-2 (Warner 251, Smith 30) Another edge for Warner, this one seemed more deliberate: soft hands, played down, along the ground into the gap. So softly played that the ball rolls to a stop just inside the rope and only profits Warner by two runs, but that’s enough to raise another milestone. Shaheen is not impressed.

103rd over: Australia 459-2 (Warner 249, Smith 30) Smith just does what Smith does. Waits back, steps across, plays anything through midwicket that can be played through midwicket. Twice Yasir lets him work the ball for doubles. Dismissal number eight for Yasir doesn’t appear to be imminent.

102nd over: Australia 455-2 (Warner 249, Smith 26) Musa is taken off to go and listen to some Fall Out Boy or whatever teenagers do to deal with angst. I don’t know, I’m ancient. Shaheen has Warner defend one ball, then slash another over the cordon. That was much more about luck than control for Petit Davide. Wide and chased. As is another ball, fuller, that leaves Warner on one knee outside off as he misses. It’s a good over from Shaheen, bowling to his heavily off-side field.

101st over: Australia 451-2 (Warner 245, Smith 26) That’s lovely, Steven. Waits for the leg-break that Yasir tosses up. Watches it dip. Shimmies slightly to be in position, then whips the drive off his toes through midwicket for three. You won’t see many right-handers play leg-spin better than that. In two hours they’ve added 148 today.

100th over: Australia 446-2 (Warner 243, Smith 23) Musa, the frustration continues. Yet another no-ball, pitching full to Warner from around the wicket. Then an edge from Warner that rolls away for four. The bowler’s pace is still good, mid-140s, but he can’t get the rest of his game together. Warner gets off strike, then Smith pulls a short ball for his 7000th Test run, raised in his 126th innings.

That’s four more runs than Bradman ever got. And so it makes Smith, by my reckoning, the fastest to the milestone in terms of innings faced.

99th over: Australia 438-2 (Warner 237, Smith 22) Smith is getting his on-side game working to Yasir, moving across to knock the leg-spinner square. But it’s not without its risk, as he finds when he gets squared up trying the same shot, gets a thick outside edge and sees it bounce into the gully.

98th over: Australia 434-2 (Warner 236, Smith 19) Another no-ball from Musa, and nearly got Warner with that one at all. Seam movement, beat the edge by a fraction, and costs Pakistan a penalty run. What is it with Warner and no-balls? It seems that on good batting days, the bowler’s best delivery to him is always an overstep. Did he once visit a shaman with a photo of Mohammad Amir, or what?

97th over: Australia 433-2 (Warner 236, Smith 19) Yasir to Smith, but the batsman gets the upper hand in this over. Whips a boundary through midwicket, then gets off strike to cover. Nyah-nyah.

96th over: Australia 426-2 (Warner 234, Smith 14) You’ll never guess what happens next... David Warner is caught off a no-ball! It was the young Naseem on debut in Brisbane, here it’s Musa. Fortunately he doesn’t have the ecstasy / agony bit of finding out via a wait and a replay, because the umpire calls the no-ball in live action. So there’s no celebration as Warner drives away from his body and sends a thick edge straight to gully. Instead, Babar throws his head back, and Musa puts his head in his hands. Should have had Warner, but that basic error costs Pakistan again. Warner celebrates in his own style, seeing a bouncer, playing a wristy uppercut from well above his head over first slip for four. Then tucks away a single. Flourish and humility, one after the other. Ten runs from an over that should have brought a wicket instead.

95th over: Australia 416-2 (Warner 226, Smith 13) Right, it will be Yasir Shah changing to the Riverbank End. Bowling to Steven Smith with a slip and a short leg. A short cover as well, 15 paces from the bat. Backward point, deep point, regulation cover, mid-off, id-on, midwicket. No one deep on the leg side. Don’t bowl short... Yasir doesn’t, flighting the ball and landing it full, around the off stump. Smith keeps stretching forward to defend. This shapes as a good battle already, there’s a bit of extra fizz in the air. Smith walks across and hits hard on the bounce into the short leg fielder, presumably Masood under the scone-box. Line of fire. He ensures the over is a maiden.

94th over: Australia 416-2 (Warner 226, Smith 13) No he wont, because Muhammad Musa Khan has come back on. This is a weird move from Azhar Ali. Unless Yasir wants to switch ends and replace Abbas after a lengthy spell. Smith lashes through point but sees his shot saved, then drives through cover and gets three. Warner ducks a bouncer. Then drives to deep cover, where Shan Masood saves well after being wrong-footed. Two runs.

93rd over: Australia 411-2 (Warner 224, Smith 10) Another good over from Abbas, using the seam and trying to cut the ball into Warner, with a fairly close fielder square on the leg side looking for a catch I fancy. Warner gets a couple of leg byes and can’t lay bat on ball throughout. Smith will face Yasir in the next over.

92nd over: Australia 409-2 (Warner 224, Smith 10) Ok, so Azhar brings Yasir Shah on try getting an edge over Smith. Except that Yasir bowls the full over to Warner. And Warner pulverises a long-hop for four, punches two more through cover, and survives the one threatening ball as Yasir zips a straight one through that beats the edge when Warner is expecting turn.

91st over: Australia 402-2 (Warner 217, Smith 10) Abbas draws an edge from Warner, but the left-hander plays it softly enough that he grounds the ball for three runs rather than edging it in the air. He bowls nicely to Smith as well, seaming the ball a couple of times. Smith gets tangled up while trying to play to the leg side, and in the end the ball beats his outside edge even as he tries to play across the line, and thunks him on the thigh pad. That’s the best over that Abbas has bowled in the Test. He was forthright in the press conference last night, saying that he was upset at missing the Brisbane Test, but that he couldn’t get into rhythm with no Tests for nearly a year. Drinks break.

90th over: Australia 399-2 (Warner 214, Smith 10) It’s easier to score off Shaheen than Abbas, with his pace on the ball and his higher likelihood of mistakes. He gives Warner width and Warner gives him the treatment. Cut for four. Shaheen predictably responds with a bouncer, but Warner just ducks, then cuts the next ball into the point gap for one.

89th over: Australia 394-2 (Warner 209, Smith 10) Abbas has bowled very economically: 24 overs now, 69 runs. But he hasn’t threatened a great deal with the ball. Smith is watchful against him, guards against seam movement with the new ball, takes another single with his default scoring shot. Warner prefers the off side, scores one to point.

88th over: Australia 392-2 (Warner 208, Smith 9) And Smith doubles his score again! The fine leg merchant, walking across to Shaheen this time and diverting the path of the ball away for a boundary. Smith has gone 1, 2, 4, 8. Can he score 16 from his next ball? I wouldn’t rule it out.

Nope, he ruins the sequence with a single. Warner thanks him for the strike by driving perfectly through extra cover for four, splitting a tiny gap in the field. In just over an hour the Australians have added 90 runs.

87th over: Australia 383-2 (Warner 204, Smith 4) Smith doing what Smith does. Walking across, making space on the leg side. Abbas bowling a bit too short as well. Glanced for two, deflected off the pad for three. Smith doubles his score again.

86th over: Australia 378-2 (Warner 204, Smith 2) A decent start from Shaheen, who gets some seam movement to beat Smith’s edge. Smith was pulling inside the line though, and Shaheen started too short to take the edge. That ball was Joey in Friends: looked good, didn’t achieve much. Smith doubles his score with a single to mid-on.

85th over: Australia 377-2 (Warner 204, Smith 1) Smith is practicing all of his shots and leaves and nudges at the non-striker’s end, as Warner plays a for-real cover drive against Abbas, almost on the back foot and then coming forward suddenly through the ball, on the up. You have to be seeing them well to do that. The Pakistanis are excited when Abbas nearly gets pad, but there was plenty of bat involved as well.

84th over: Australia 373-2 (Warner 200, Smith 1) A wicket, sure, but David Warner on the cusp of a double, and Steve Smith walking to the middle. Tasty tasty times if you’re a devotee of Australian cricket. Smith knocks away a single first ball to give Warner back the strike with three balls to come. Warner works it through square leg and will get... two, with the aid of a misfield. Thought of the third, couldn’t quite risk it, and he walks away to square leg to clear his head on 199.

Two balls left in the over. Blocked to the off side. No run.

Shaheen, the pick of Pakistan’s attack yesterday, shares the new ball and he strikes after just two deliveries, castling Labuschagne with a beautiful in-swinging delivery that did for the middle of off stump. A superb delivery to end a superb innings.

83rd over: Australia 369-1 (Warner 197, Labuschagne 162) The new ball IS now taken and Abbas, after that over of looseners, takes it from the river end. It’s a very Abbas over; moderately paced, on a decent line and length, and utterly unthreatening. Warner displays the patience of a man who knows a score of unimaginable magnitude is on offer today, leaving or dead-batting five deliveries then pushing firmly through the covers for two.

More stats

Warner and Labuschagne now own the highest partnership for any wicket for Australia v Pakistan in Tests #AUSvPAKpic.twitter.com/wTYVeC9hx4

82nd over: Australia 367-1 (Warner 195, Labuschagne 162) Turns out we were misled and Pakistan did not take the second new ball after all. Quite why they didn’t, nobody seems able to fathom. The outcome is another pointless over from Yasir that’s too fast, too flat, too short, and too full of runs. “This is rubbish bowling,” says Ricky Ponting on TV, “absolute rubbish”. Labuschagne doesn’t mind, bringing up the 350 partnership with a brace of cut boundaries. This ceased to be a contest many hours ago and Azhar Ali doesn’t seem remotely concerned.

81st over: Australia 357-1 (Warner 194, Labuschagne 153) The new ball is taken immediately and the game enters its next phase, hopefully one more competitive than the last few hours of one-sided drubbing. Abbas takes the new pink Kookaburra and settles into his groove on a length around that fourth or fifth stump line but Labuschagne is ready for it, standing tall on his toes and controlling drives into the off-side. A couple hit the field, one pierces the gap for two runs.

The partnership now inside the top 10 of all Australian Test partnerships....

80th over: Australia 354-1 (Warner 194, Labuschagne 150) Marnus Labuschagne’s introduction to Test cricket may have arrived in unconventional circumstances but he is to the manor born. The Queenslander brings up his 150 with a nudge off Yasir, a milestone celebrated by Warner by dispatching the Pakistan leggy over cow corner for six of the most contemptuous runs you could find. That’s followed soon afterwards by a rank long-hop being pummelled to the square leg fence for four. If this was a title fight the referee would be giving Pakistan a standing count.

Another record ✅

Warner & Labuschagne pass Cook & Trott for the highest second wicket stand for all tests in Australia #AUSvPAKpic.twitter.com/xM82V81DnJ

79th over: Australia 342-1 (Warner 183, Labuschagne 149) Both teams are rattling through their work this morning, Iftikhar with a nondescript over, Australia tipping and running to keep the circulation flowing. The tourists are nearly into the new ball.

78th over: Australia 339-1 (Warner 181, Labuschagne 148) Another one for Marnus! The runs keep flowing. Gallops down and plonks Yasir over mid-on for four. They’re going to have some fun today.

77th over: Australia 333-1 (Warner 180, Labuschagne 143) They are not hanging around this morning. Warner creams Iftikhar’s short ball away with a pull shot. The off-spinner replaced the young pace bowler after one over. Curious. Two more runs to fine leg for Marnus. The scoreboard is whirring.

76th over: Australia 325-1 (Warner 175, Labuschagne 140) Yasir starts the over well, just conceding a couple of singles, but Labuschagne finishes it well by carting him over midwicket for four. No hanging around for Australia with the sun shining for the moment in Adelaide.

75th over: Australia 318-1 (Warner 173, Labuschagne 135) If Warner starts fast, Labuschagne starts faster. A four, a two, and a three, all worked through the off side. The boundary was edgy, but the rest were controlled. 11 runs from Musa’s first over.

74th over: Australia 307-1 (Warner 171, Labuschagne 126) Warner started slowly on the second morning in Brisbane. No such approach here, as he gets a gift from Yasir Shah in the form of a short ball, and whacks it to the boundary.

Here is the wires report on the action yesterday, if you want the detail.

Related: Labuschagne and Warner turn the screw for Australia against Pakistan

Today is David Warner Day. Sorry if you didn’t get the note. That costume looks great though, Keith. And the Toyota badging is a nice touch. We’re all just playing it by ear, trying to work out something new. Which is what David will be doing, too. See, Davey used to have a particular style. Score big, score fast, put his feet up. For a long time his highest score was that 180 he made in about 15 minutes when he pogoed India all around the WACA. He never batted through a Test day until 2016 at the same ground, when he made 250 against New Zealand. But he got out first thing the next morning. Then last week at the Gabba he went through the day again, and got out without adding much the next morning too. Now in Adelaide he’s had his third bat-through day, and his third chance to go on the next day to a truly huge score. Will it help that the next day is starting in the afternoon, not the morning? Maybe he’s a post-prandial guy. We’ll find out. Because it would be interesting to see what D. Warner can do if he really goes on with an innings. Two days of pain, that sort of thing.

Pakistan are sore, sorry, and have once again bowled through a Test day for only the wicket of Joe Burns. Hopefully they rested well and did justice to the breakfast buffet. Australia: 302 for 1 after the first day.

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New Zealand v England: second Test, day three – live!

November 30, 2019, 5:45 pm
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68th over: England 186--2 (Burns 93, Root 70) They pause for drinks with Root losing a demi-semi life with an edge through where first slip might have been examining his nails, if only England had lost a few more wickets.

67th over: England 181--2 (Burns 93, Root 66) At last! Some succour for Santner. He gets one to rip out of the rough - it flies down for four leg byes but smelt of promise. And that’s the follow-on ticked off the to-do list.

Dan Taylor wants to quote“the great Carlton Kirby’s tweet from yesterday.”

66th over: England 176--2 (Burns 93, Root 64) Burns pulls out his pull shot once again - this might be the pick of his days - clunks Henry to the fence and enters the nineties. I’ll eat my slippers if he gets out before three figures.

65th over: England 168--2 (Burns 87, Root 63) Four singles off a Santner not-so-special.

Rich writes:

Loving the commentary! I too am at the game and was very curious to hear of these elaborate pies. If you could explore the provenance of these kiwi delicacies further, I’d be very grateful.

Listen Rich, if you can identify this pair, they might, or might not, be eating an elaborate pie. Or, they have found alternative sustenance.

@tjaldred TJ! TJ! Give us a wave! pic.twitter.com/Dm6Tvq8SJr

64th over: England 168--2 (Burns 87, Root 63) Matt Henry continues with the short and wide fishing tactics. It doesn’t work but it nearly brings a run-out as Burns takes a risky single to mid-on. Unfortunately for New Zealand Henry lumbers in front of the stumps and tries a cackhanded interception of the throw, making a complete dog’s breakfast of it. Tom Latham, waiting in perfect position behind the stumps, has his head in his hands. That was a ballsed-up chance.

63rd over: England 164--2 (Burns 85, Root 60) Oh, now, that was just gorge-ous from Joe Root. He strokes the ball through cover with such style and gentleness. Shot of the day!

62nd over: England 156--2 (Burns 85, Root 55) Ok, so Williamson thinks that Henry’s worth a punt. Why not? I think we’v reached the stage o f the game where NZ are waiting for England to make a mistake. Just a dab of a single from the over.

61st over: England 156--2 (Burns 85, Root 55) Just one from Santner’s over, Root gets down on his knee to sweep the ball down for a single.And I got a bit lost there in a post-midnight yawn.

60th over: England 156--2 (Burns 85, Root 55) Another top-class pull shot from Rory Burns. He swivels with panache and bingos the ball past square leg for four. Southee sighs.

59th over: England 152--2 (Burns 81, Root 55) Santner turns again, tries flighting a little more, tries cranking it a little faster. To no avail Just one from the over. This is finger-tapping cricket. Can New Zealand restrict England enough that they get frustrated? Root passes his highest scores in a Test match in New Zealand.

Humphrey Hollins, an ex Kiwi, writes from Cairns:

58th over: England 150--2 (Burns 80, Root 54) Southee bowls wide of the crease, tries to tempt Burns, who resists. Southee, Southee, catchee monkee.

57th over: England 149--2 (Burns 80, Root 53) Three clomped off Santner’s over, who hasn’t threatened that much today. Who is going to be Williamson’s secret weapon? I imagine he’s missing de Grandhomme.

56th over: England 147--2 (Burns 80, Root 51) Southee has a very even approach to the wicket, regular steps, cocked wrists. He tries a wide one without success, he tries a slower ball, Burns ignores it.

Hey Tanya, writes Aaron.

55th over: England 144--2 (Burns 78, Root 50) Burns sweeps Santner, the New Zealand fielders make appreciative noises. It was kind of risky, but it worked.

Donald Barrett writes; I am jealous.

54th over: England 143--2 (Burns 77, Root 50) Southee has the first over after lunch. The wind is coming over his right shoulder (thank you commentary) and he finds some swing. Root stretches to meet it, somewhat awkwardly.

An aside, Rory Burn’s moustache is visible through the grill from the other end of the pitch. I wonder if it might distract the bowler if he suddenly started to fixate on it.

The camera pans down the pitch, it looks a cracker. Root and Burns walk back out.

A lovely email from Will Webster, who needs some help from OBO-ers.

@tjaldred here's the pic of that pic! pic.twitter.com/ZrZshqb70t

My brother texts from Hamilton to say Fat Freddy’s Drop are on the PA and everyone is mooching about the outfield in a laid-back surfer-dude way. The sun’s probably out and he’s got a flat white and some kind of elaborate pie too.

What can the northern hemisphere fight back with? A joke, that’s what. Cue Simon Lacey

53rd over: England 142--2 (Burns 76, Root 50) The umpire plucks off the bails and that is lunch. England’s session: no wickets, just steady, watchful accumulation, working through initial crankiness to find some moments of joy. I’m off to make a quick drink but I’ll leave you with Damian Clarke’s lunchtime joke.

On the subject of favourite jokes, may I tell you mine?
How does an elephant ask for a bun? Can I have a bun, please?
I realise that this is 90% a visual joke, but does that really matter?

52nd over: England 142--2 (Burns 76, Root 50) And with a tap towards square leg off Mitchell, that’s Joe Root’s fifty. He allows himself a bat wobble, but doesn’t take his helmet off. Still work to do. Well played captain, under heavy pressure.

51st over: England 140--2 (Burns 76, Root 48) A Santner maiden. Lunch approaches.

50th over: England 140--2 (Burns 76, Root 48) Mitchell back into the attack and sends down a zinger on a good length, Root seems to turn it off his hip where it is caught behind the sticks. The umpire gives it out but Root REVIEWS immediately - a tell-tale sign. Sure enough, the third umpire’s slow-mo proves there has been no contact between bat and pad

JAmes Debens writes: “What are “Andy Flash shots”? Are they like “Eddie Hemmings shuffles”? Or “Chris broad strokes”? Halp!

49th over: England 139--2 (Burns 76, Root 47) Frustration for Santner, it is a tidy over until he drifts onto the leg side with his last ball and Burns gets down on one knee and sweeps him down for four, like a man flicking a stray lump of coal back in the fire.

48th over: England 134--2 (Burns 72, Root 46) Burns and Root get the hee-bee-jeebies off their chest with a couple of quick singles off Henry, then Burns goes for a more expansive drive. The runs tick over.

Morning Tanya, writes Avitaj Mitra. Morning!

47th over: England 128--2 (Burns 67, Root 45) New Zealand playing the waiting game here. Santner turns out another maiden. Root plays a rather impatient swing to his last ball. Can England keep their nerve?

Incidentally, why is Brian Blessed doing betting ads? (I once saw him as Old Deuteronomy in Cats and sat on his knee while getting his autograph. Innocent times)

45th over: England 126--2 (Burns 66, Root 44) A typically careful Santner over, and things have slowed down a bit here. Perhaps the batsmen feel lunch peering over their shoulders.

At last another musicals fan on the OBO. Thank you Timothy Muller! I too enjoyed Dear Evan Hansen very much (and welled up a few times). I’m not sure about the David Warner story, but I once had a conversation with Sir Tim Rice about writing a Basil D’Oliveira musical together (I’m an occasional composer). Sadly, he was too busy on Terms of Endearment at the time, and then was so shocked by the justifiably horrendous reception that got, that he basically retired. If anyone else feels like writing the book and the lyrics, (probably based on Peter Oborne’s biography), let me know.

44th over: England 122--2 (Burns 64, Root 42) What a shot from Burns! He watches Henry run in with school boy purpose, and drives him with immaculate timing through mid-on for four. I see these two both making hundreds today.

43rd over: England 118--2 (Burns 60, Root 42) Oooh and ahhhs as Santner wheels in, long arm plucking the sun from the sky. Root plays out the maiden.

And I’m going to let Brian Withington tells us his joke, even though he first sent it in two days ago in relation to flip-flops and onomatopoeia.

42nd over: England 118--2 (Burns 60, Root 42) Wagner does get his rest and Williamson flicks the ball to Matt Henry. He’s on the money straight away, a good length, enough to put Root and Burns off andy flash shots.

41st over: England 117--2 (Burns 59, Root 40) Burns and Root watch Santner carefully. I think they sense danger. Just a couple of singles, and the morning moves on still England haven’t lost a wicket.

40th over: England 115--2 (Burns 59, Root 40) Wagner storms in, his eighth over on the trot. Energy levels still high, but only one short ball. I think that’s a sign it’s time for a towel down.

Stephen Owens writes from Motueka “Hi Tanya, A NZer here. I see the 3rd day preamble begins “Hello fellow time-zones-surfers, and welcome to day three of the second and final Test against New Zealand.” Given that the Guardian is trying to ‘reach out’ [bloody horrible USA phrase that has become mainstream for other media] and enlarge coverage of NZ news, including, presumably, sports, maybe a more inclusive intro could have been used, say ‘...the final test between England and New Zealand.” I’m reaching out here Tanya. Come Brexit England needs all the friends it can get, including its formerly loyal dominions before Edward Heath shafted the Commonwealth by signing up for the EU. Just saying...

39th over: England 113--2 (Burns 58, Root 39) Aha! Mitchell Santner gets a go - can he prove England wrong for not picking a spinner? He encourages one to turn out of the rough and discomfort Rory Burns, hitting him high on the pad. A maiden.

38th over: England 113--2 (Burns 58, Root 39) Root content to play second fiddle as Wagner continues to fire them in.

37th over: England 111--2 (Burns 58, Root 38) Burns lives dangerously off Daryl Mitchell. He pushes forwards and the ball zings dangerously between gullies. He looks anxiously over his shoulder. Then he flicks one, most charmingly, over mid-wicket for another boundary. New Zealand leaking more runs than they’d like here.

Thinking about your words Ian Forth. I know the Pakistan attack isn’t the best but he has beaten Bradman! Talking of which, if we can time travel, how about to Adelaide 1933? The drama!

36th over: England 102--2 (Burns 50, Root 37) Burns turns Wagner off his legs for a single, and that’s his fifty! Eight fours, 158 minutes. and an impressive test of nerve after being dropped twice yesterday evening and tested by tight New Zealand bowling this morning. He’s both awkward and solid. And that’s drinks.

Ian Forth is not impressed by my suggestion of a new musical: “I don’t want to start a heated debate all over again, but I’m not sure David Warner scoring a heap of runs against an undercooked attack at home constitutes a narrative arc Spielberg will be considering. (Australia have, after all, won 12 out of 12 against Pakistan at home this century). He needs to walk from Cape York to Cape Town for charity or at least rescue a cat from a tree.”

35th over: England 99-2 (Burns 48, Root 36) Michell, red soles trailing behind him, runs in. A slower ball, Burns is foxed and top-edges a pull... just short of square leg.

@tjaldred re: over 23. If we can travel back in time, being among Chickie's Disco and Gravy's pager dress in Antigua would be an experience. pic.twitter.com/ZgrdsD2JLw

34th over: England 95-2 (Burns 46, Root 33) Wagner charges in, steam emerging from ears and nose, pistons moving legs and arm. Just one from over.

“A very good morning Tanya,” writes Brian Withington.

33rd over: England 94-2 (Burns 46, Root 33) Mitchell again. I love watching him bowl, you notice a different idiosyncrasy with every over - this time it is his spread fingers in his non-ball gripping hand. Root takes a good stride forward, sends his head over his knee, and plays an immaculate defensive shot. A maiden.

32nd over: England 94-2 (Burns 46, Root 33) A maiden over for Wagner. Not without danger for Burns who is deceived by an off-cutter. Patience. Not long till drinks.

31st over: England 94-2 (Burns 46, Root 33) Williamson turns to Daryl Mitchell, who does a funny quick-step at the top of his run, before steaming in with his high-knee-ed approach. Root watches carefully for five balls then flicks him for an easy four.

I am pleased to say that in the next three months I will be watching an England Test match below Table Mountain at Newlands during the New Year Test, and then below Galle Fort in Sri Lanka in March, writes Neil Waterfield.I can think of two no finer grounds in the world, but will be happy to find others.

30th over: England 89-2 (Burns 46, Root 29) Burns does sticks his bum out at the crease, he must have great quads. But enough of that - pow! - that’s quite a shot, with straight arms he swats Wagner to the boundary. Next one is short again, and Burns swivels pulls again behind square for another four. England rock’in on.

29th over: England 80-2 (Burns 38, Root 28) Burns is looking good here. He’s over the nerves and hitting crisply. He dispatches Southee with a whizz-crack to the boundary with a sharp pull.

Peter Salmon has his mind on David Warner.

28th over: England 76-2 (Burns 34, Root 28) Root eyes up a short one from Wagner, swivels and pulls him for four. Lovely. And again, though with not quite as much power and just gets the single. Then a fine on-drive from Burns which is cut off just before the rope. Next ball he’s crunched in the chest by a short one. This Wagner, he makes thing happen. And that’s the fifty partnership between Root and Burns.

Chris Bull has listed his top grounds on the fantasy trip: Antigua - the recreation ground. Cape town. Dharamsala. Adelaide. Galle. Wellington. If its ever safe enough again Srinigar would be in there.

27th over: England 68-2 (Burns 31, Root 23) Southee again, no real threat, but tight. Burns gets four leg byes past a desperate Watling.

26th over: England 64-2 (Burns 31, Root 23) Aha! New Zealand turn to Wagner to see if he can extract some zing from this pitch. He shoves one in short with every effort of his visible being, the polar opposite of Jofra Archer - whose effort is seemingly effortless - and Burns ducks and it pings off his shoulder for a single. Root ducks the next

In answer to your question William, if I could magic myself to these places so that I didn’t have to worry about my carbon footprint: I’d go to Eden Gardens and Barbados (neither of which I’ve been to), then Sydney, where I could visit my brother, then one of the lovely small New Zealand grounds - happy to be advised - where I could meet my other brother and ....

25th over: England 59-2 (Burns 29, Root 21) We get a close up of Root, eyes darting hither and thither from under his helmet. Southee bowls and Root looks uncomfortable, his feet static. Better next ball, full face of the bat. He nods.

24th over: England 57-2 (Burns 29, Root 19) Henry testing here with his line, but Burns and Root resist doing anything silly. Half an hour safely negociated.

23rd over: England 55-2 (Burns 28, Root 18) Just a couple from Southee’s over - this feels like a crucial first hour. Both these two have the ability to bat big, but are vulnerable early on.

William Hargreaves poses an interesting question

@tjaldred That ground looks magnificent. If you won a prize and were granted match watching holidays, no expenses spared, at six grounds, where would you visit?

22nd over: England 54-2 (Burns 28, Root 17) Henry and Watling have an earnest chat. A few balls later, Root glove/pulls him, slightly uncomfortably down for four.

Thank you Johns Potter and Little for pointing out that England are batting not New Zealand...

21st over: England 49-2 (Burns 28, Root 13) The grass stripes either side of the wicket are very defined, all lime candy cane. Joe Root brings the England fifty up with a confident-looking pull off Southee.

20th over: England 49-2 (Burns 28, Root 12) At the other end, we have Matt Henry, and Joe Root sends him scurrying for four, a back foot push through backward point. Burns then plays a slightly less confident looking shot, which squeezes through third man for another boundary We get a wide-lens view of the ground - it’s gorgeous, green and very pleasant. Trees, grassy knolls, picnics and a few half-hearted clouds.

19th over: England 40-2 (Burns 24, Root 7) Southee bowls the first over of the day, just a single from it, a back foot push from Root. A discordant version of Jerusalem drifts across the ground.

TMS tells me the players are out, but the TV is running rather behind ... this could be interesting...

We need to talk about David Warner. What a story - boy from the wrong sides of the tracks, proves the doubters wrong, falls dramatically from grace, then redemption.

Tonight I, like most right thinking people, am very much looking forward to Pakistan declaring with Babar Azam on 338*.

Related: David Warner passes Bradman as Starc wickets vindicate Paine declaration

Interesting. Atherton is backing Root to make runs today. He’s been watching him in the nets, and “he’s been hitting the ball beautifully.” He’s tougher, Athers adds, than his angelic features might suggest.

There’s a christmas tree in the Sky studio. The mood in there is moderately dark. Mark Butcher says Joe Root, “has to go out and make a big one.”

Out on the ground, Ian Ward and Mike Atherton are talking to Jos Buttler. Wardy admires Jos “beasting it” in the gym.

Hello fellow time-zones-surfers, and welcome to day three of the second and final Test against New Zealand. They’re starting half an hour early today (9.30pm GMT, 10.30am NZST) in Hamilton, still making up for the grotty weather that truncated day one. New Zealand are whistling to the ground this morning, their bow ties perky, their trainers bouncy - two English wickets down with only 39 on the board.

All is not lost for England, but two of the newbies failed to endure a nasty final session of 21 overs yesterday evening. Unfortunate Dom Sibley, never the nimblest, was cuffed on the helmet and then on the box on the way to being bowled by a leg-stump half volley. Joe Denly prodded at a wobbler from Matt Henry and was well caught by BJ Watling behind the sticks.

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Australia v Pakistan: second Test, day three – as it happened

December 1, 2019, 2:54 am
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  • Yasir Shah hits maiden Test ton as Pakistan reach 302 in first dig
  • Following on, tourists slump to 39-3 - 248 runs behind Australia

A day of graft but little progress from Pakistan, who did well to reach 302 in their first innings (from 89-6 at one stage) but not well enough to avert the follow-on. That the tourists got so far as they did was down to two, familiar figures: Yasir Shah and Babar Azam. Babar fell agonisingly short of another Test century but Yasir finally got his first Test fifty, and then kept going to rack up triple figures. Their efforts kept Australia in the field longer than they would have liked, but Tim Paine still made Pakistan bat again. And, among several rain breaks, Australia’s pace attack did the business to reduce the visitors to 39-3 when stumps was taken early, vindicating the decision of their skipper. Still needing another 248 runs just to make Australia bat again, Pakistan will hope for two days of solid rain. Thanks for your company. See you tomorrow.

Precipitation wins in the end, as it always does, and that is all for this third day’s play. Advantage remains with Australia.

This shower looks a bit more menacing. The heavy covers are on. Pakistan’s rain dance is working.

17th over: Pakistan 39-3 (Shan 14, Asad 8) Cummins continues, with Asad in his sights. The batsman is up to the task but Cummins can’t get through his over before we have yet another rain delay.

16th over: Pakistan 39-3 (Shan 14, Asad 8) Hazlewood finishes his latest interrupted over, sending down three dot balls to Shan.

Play is set to resume at 8.55pm local time, which is barely minutes away. Good good.

Not sure how long this delay will last. Though thicker, this downfall doesn’t look set in. Trailing by 248 runs, Pakistan will hope for monsoons.

See below for a lovely shot from Babar. Before he got out. It’s been all or nothing this tour from Babar, with two big scores and two misses. Does that make him mercurial?

Babar Azam always gives Pakistan fans something to smile about #AUSvPAKpic.twitter.com/0eonm6VRQ6

16th over: Pakistan 39-3 (Shan 14, Asad 8) Hazlewood manages three balls of his eighth over before the umpires make the call and order players off the ground. Tim Paine isn’t happy. He wants to stay out there, as you would if you were the Australia captain. But the showers are getting heavier. Rain stops play.

15th over: Pakistan 38-3 (Shan 14, Asad 7) Nice off drive by Asad earns three and gives Michael Neser, Australia’s substitute fielder, something to do. Shan then steers the ball between point and gully for four, clearly getting the taste of this boundary lark. And a wonderful response from Cummins, who cuts one away from the left hander and beats the bat. A hurriedly run two then makes it nine from the over. The misty rain looks to be getting thicker.

14th over: Pakistan 29-3 (Shan 8, Asad 4) Short and then full and then short again from Hazlewood, but Shan is the picture of watchfulness until he throws caution to the wind and pulls for his first boundary. Forty-seven deliveries in the making, it was worth the wait. There’s a spot or two of rain around and it’s time for drinks.

13th over: Pakistan 25-3 (Shan 4, Asad 4) Good areas from Cummins to Asad and that’s two maidens on the bounce. Pakistan trail by 262 runs.

12th over: Pakistan 25-3 (Shan 4, Asad 4) Failed review! Paine is convinced Shan has tickled one around his legs, despite the umpire’s call of not out. The skipper and keeper confers with nobody and sends the decision straight upstairs. Sorry, Tim, no bat on that one. That makes it two successful reviews and 20 unsuccessful reviews under Paine’s watch. Hazlewood collects Shan on the helmet last ball, with Paine taking the ‘catch’. A tepid appeal follows but there’s no review this time. New helmet for the batsman.

"The way Tim Paine is going with reviews at the moment, he's better off reviewing the ones he thinks are not out." - Ricky Ponting #AUSvPAKpic.twitter.com/AtrI0GAAEw

11th over: Pakistan 25-3 (Shan 4, Asad 4) Cummins continues to work on Shan’s off stump and the over is highlighted by an absolute belter that pitches on middle, seams away and misses both outside edge and the stumps. Really, that ball was too good to take a wicket. Asad takes strike last ball of the over and gets off the mark with a boundary as Cummins strays down leg. Both batsmen are on four - Shan has faced 36 balls, Asad just the one.

10th over: Pakistan 20-3 (Shan 3) Hazlewood gets one to nip back sharply to Babar, but it started too far outside off to be a threat. He then strays onto Babar’s pads and is worked through midwicket for two.

But Hazlewood soon gets his man as Babar prods at one just outside off, and there’s enough lift on the ball to catch the edge en route to the keeper. A miss for Babar and not at all what Pakistan were wanting. Now three down, Pakistan trail by 267 runs.

9th over: Pakistan 18-2 (Shan 3, Babar 6) Cummins enters the attack as Starc is sent to pasture. It really is dreary in Adelaide. First day of summer and the crowd that remains are all rugged up. Over the wicket to Shan, Cummins tries in his own way to encourage the drive. And the leftie can’t resist an expansive slash at one wide of off, but he hits air only. He got nowhere near it and it’s a maiden for Cummins.

8th over: Pakistan 18-2 (Shan 3, Babar 6) Hazlewood continues full and outside off to Shan, working to a plan that’s bore fruit in the past. Nothing doing this over, however, with Shan scampering through for a single on the last ball to retain the strike.

7th over: Pakistan 17-2 (Shan 2, Babar 6) Starc from the other end and Babar gets off the mark at the first time of asking, punching through the covers for two. And it gets even better later in the over as Babar leans back and cuts beautifully past point for four. That one came right out of the middle. Classy stuff from a classy player.

6th over: Pakistan 11-2 (Shan 2, Babar 0) Ladies and germs, we’re back. Hazlewood again for Australia. Hell of a leave by Shan. Couldn’t have missed the top of off by much. A maiden to begin.

I was given a bum steer, which I passed onto you. Play will now resume at 7.40pm local time. So just a couple of minutes away. Babar is the new batsman. Pakistan trail by 276 runs. My do they need a knock of the ages from him, and most of the others for that matter.

I bear good tidings: the covers are off, the stumps are being reinserted and we are six or so minutes away from resuming play.

Some big love for Yasir Shah doing the rounds.

Thank you for saving the reputation of Pakistan Cricket. @Shah64Y We love you for this #AUSvPAK#YasirShahpic.twitter.com/Qs9KDLcWUJ

The rain looks to have stopped, though the covers are still on. The umpires are discussing something in the middle. Either where to on Hindley St after stumps or when to resume play. Or both.

Yeah, ripper of a ball from Starc. Full and venomous. Azhar had to play at it.

A brilliant ball from Starc draws the edge, a great catch from Smith...

And then the fielders beat Azhar Ali off the ground as the rain comes #AUSvPAKpic.twitter.com/Dk2HEmtuwr

5th over: Pakistan 11-2 (Shan 2) Starc again. He looks a bit ginger in his follow through. Ankle possibly? There are issues as his front foot is way behind the crease on delivery. Getting windy and cold in Adelaide. New boots mid-over for Starc. He’s not a happy fast bowler. What am I bid for Mitch’s old boots on e-bay?

And the new boots do the trick and Azhar wafts at one and picks out Smith, who dives and takes a seriously good catch low down at second slip. And it all happened under increasing rainfall, prompting players and officials to follow Azhar off the ground. Rain stopped play.

4th over: Pakistan 9-1 (Shan 2, Azhar 7) Three deliveries to finish off Hazlewood’s second over. Azhar gets off the mark with a boundary but it’s far from convincing as his thick edge beats third slip. A better shot follows and brings three forward of square. Big challenge here for the Pakistan skipper at No.3, which after that early loss is as good as opening anyway.

Kevin Wilson asks:“Is Yasir Shah the only guy to get a bowling and batting century in the same test?”

It’s rare, Kevin, but not that rare. Not sure the exact count but I think it’s happened over 50 times and I reckon Daniel Vettori might have achieved it twice. Anyone got the official figure?

Dinner (not sure I’ll ever get used to that term when discussing cricket) will taste that littler bit nicer for Tim Paine and Australia after they enforce the follow-on and get their breakthrough. Pakistan were gallant in that middle session but with so much ground to make up they are still nestled behind the eight ball, trailing by 200-and-plenty with the perils of the evening session to come. See you in half an hour or so.

Three reds means a good decision not to review!

Pakistan 1-2 at dinner.#AUSvPAK | https://t.co/0QSefkJERkpic.twitter.com/ootCCncJ9Z

4th over: Pakistan 2-1 (Shan 2) Hazlewood is full to Imam and gets the breakthrough, zeroing a quick one into the batsman’s legs and trapping him plumb in front. Caught him flush on the crease. The batsmen confer but Shan had a good view of that at the non-striker’s end and there will be no review. Australia get their wicket before the break ... and that is dinner.

3rd over: Pakistan 2-0 (Shan 2, Imam 0) Starc errs down leg side and Pakistan are away, Shan clipping him forward of square for two. Looks like there’ll be another over before dinner.

2nd over: Pakistan 0-0 (Shan 0, Imam 0) Hazlewood on at the other end. The bespectacled Imam drives at a full one but gets little on it. Hazlewood fixes his length and it’s consecutive maidens from Australia. Incredible stat here on Yasir’s fifty, when then became a hundred, earlier on.

Most innings to make 50 for the first time:
131 Anderson
126 ISharma
115 McGrath
85 Murali
77 Gillespie
71 Bedi
57 Siddle
56 Lock
55 Yasir - the most for Pakistan.

1st over: Pakistan 0-0 (Shan 0, Imam 0) Australia will have three overs at Pakistan before dinner. Starc opens and first ball he beats Shan’s outside edge. Curious decision to make Pakistan bat again, but you do want to be bowling in these conditions. Especially with the new ball. The wind is increasing and dark clouds are swirling. Starc finishes his maiden over by getting Shan’s inside edge, but the batsman’s pads save the day.

Interesting. After having Pakistan on the ropes at 89-6, they were out there long enough in the end. But Paine is asking his bowlers to go again. And, with the evening session to come, fair enough I guess.

Musa again lives dangerously and again he survives, spooning Cummins over mid off. And again he knows little about it. But the end was always coming, and it’s Yasir who ends the resistance when picking out Lyon in the deep. Pakistan trail by 287 runs. Will Australia enforce the follow-on?

94th over: Pakistan 300-9 (Yasir 112, Musa 11) More from Lyon. Nice sweep from Yasir but third man is up and it’s a single only. That’s the 300 up for Pakistan. Musa then gives Australia’s close-in fielders a chance but his edge-onto-body clears them.

93rd over: Pakistan 299-9 (Yasir 111, Musa 11) Short again from Cummins, and I swear Yasir started to crouch down before the ball had even been released. Musa then pulls over midwicket for four. It was an amazing shot, mainly because he wasn’t looking anywhere near the ball at the point of contact. That’ll do me.

Highest 9th Wkt Partnership Ever By PAK vs AUS In Test Cricket History :

120 Saeed Anwar / Mushtaq Ahmed 1998 Rawalpindi

87 Yasir Shah / Mohammad Abbas 2019 Adelaide

71 Yasir Shah / Asad ShaFiq 2016 Gabba#PAKvsAUS#AUSvPAK#Cricket

92nd over: Pakistan 288-9 (Yasir 107, Musa 5) Labuschagne drops a sitter. Again! Yasir pops one up to short leg, and it’s right in front of Labuschagne’s eyes, but somehow the chance goes begging. That’s twice this dig he’s dropped the century maker. Pakistan trail by 301 runs.

91st over: Pakistan 287-9 (Yasir 106, Musa 5) Short again from Cummins and this time it works, Abbas doing his level best to fend off a quick one but succeeding only in finding Warner at gully. Musa then looks to know very little about his first ball in Test cricket but he still scores a boundary from it, skied high over the slip cordon and down to the third-man fence. A single follows and Yasir then goes the tonk, getting little of it but surviving all the same.

90th over: Pakistan 280-8 (Yasir 104, Abbas 29) Lyon asks the question for leg before, but Abbas might have got an edge first. I might have been going over. It definitely isn’t out. One from the over.

89th over: Pakistan 279-8 (Yasir 103, Abbas 29) And it is Cummins on from the other end. Not sure I’d like 6-66 as one of my Test returns - who am I kidding, of course I would - but that might be due to watching The Exorcist at the tender age of 12. Still not over it. Cummins mixes his length but the short stuff is of no interest to Abbas, who just ducks right under. Australia then offer the most tepid appeal for a catch at short leg, but with the ball hitting thigh pad only it’s easy to see why. Abbas clips Cummins past square for four to end the over. All looks rather easy right now.

88th over: Pakistan 274-8 (Yasir 102, Abbas 25) Starc has the demonic figures of 6-66, and with Lyon resuming after drinks one wonders if he’ll be stuck on it. It’s been almost nothing doing with the new ball - who’d have thought with eight wickets down Australia would turn to spin before a wicket’s been taken with the new cherry - and Lyon goes for a single in a mostly uneventful over.

Many thanks, Jonathan, and top of the evening to you all. A day of resistance thus far on the part of Pakistan and missed opportunities for Australia. If they’d been a bit sharper in the field, only the Lord himself (and, possibly, Mike Hussey) knows what we might be looking at right now. But pats on the back to both Yasir and Babar; their form from Brisbane was obviously no fluke. We’re still looking at something grossly uneven, however, unless Pakistan can hold this rearguard pose long enough to make a game of it. Anyway, the pleasure’s all mine. Please join me for some Test cricket this fine evening, the first of the summer months (if you’re down this way, of course). I can be contacted by email or by Twitter - @scott_heinrich

Right, that’s enough of my chuntering for the day. Time for Scott Heinrich to take over. Catch you tomorrow.

87th over: Pakistan 273-8 (Yasir 101, Abbas 25) For all the fun Yasir has given us today this is turning into quite the stinker for Australia. Tim Paine has let Pakistan of the hook by being too cute with his follow-on preparations and bowling his par-timers for long spells, and questions have to be asked of the bowling attack and their lack of patience and persistence. It’s a poor advertisement for the Adelaide Oval surface too, and the Kookaburra ball. I’m turning into quite the grumbler, aren’t I?

The latest Starc over is repelled smartly by Abbas who even picks up a couple through the covers.

86th over: Pakistan 270-8 (Yasir 100, Abbas 23) Dot. Dot. Dot. Tension building. A bit of chirp in the middle. Dot. Hazlewood characteristically line and length. Swipe! Ugly, mistimed aerial swipe. Heart in mouth. The giant Starc at mid-on leaps one-handed. The ball beats the fielder by a fingernail. Helmet off. Bat raised. Ton up.

85th over: Pakistan 269-8 (Yasir 99, Abbas 23) The first signs of edginess from Yasir! He wants to tip and run and get off strike against Starc but Abbas isn’t on the same page and there’s an awkward couple of “yes, no, waiting” scenarios before he rides a short ball to point and jogs through to reach 99. Abbas has two balls to defend and he does his job with the minimum of fuss. Yasir on strike to start the next over.

84th over: Pakistan 268-8 (Yasir 98, Abbas 23) Yasir is inching towards a remarkable century. Hazlewood is on his mark but he’s powerless to deny a wristy flick off a length to midwicket, or a drive to the offside sweeper. Just two more runs to go!

As an aside, during the previous Starc over Pakistan ran through for a leg-bye. It was the first extra Australia had conceded all innings.

83rd over: Pakistan 265-8 (Yasir 95, Abbas 23) Starc is making this new ball fly through the air at a rapid pace, and with no little swing. Yasir can’t get any bat on the balls he faces to advance his quest for a century, but fortunately for him Abbas holds his end up, blocking the straight ones, then getting an edge that flies between second and third slips but perhaps not at catchable height.

82nd over: Pakistan 260-8 (Yasir 95, Abbas 19) Hazlewood back into the attack for the first time in an age, and immediately he does Abbas with a jaffa that was, to coin a sledger’s parlance, too good. A single brings Yasir on strike who is now playing like VVS Laxman, contorting his rubbery wrists to a full delivery and whipping it to square leg to move to 95.

81st over: Pakistan 258-8 (Yasir 94, Abbas 18) Starc begins the 81st over with the old ball and Yasir can’t believe his luck, leg-glancing with Starc’s angle from around the wicket and collecting four runs to move into the 90s. Australia then do take the shiny new pink ball but the result is the same - a Yasir four to fine-leg! This is becoming a most peculiar day of Test cricket.

80th over: Pakistan 250-8 (Yasir 86, Abbas 18) That was a fun over. Yasir, guessing it was the final over with the old ball, attempted to get to his landmark ton sooner rather than later. He earns four with a squirty square drive but is then extremely fortunate to survive a top-edged sweep off Lyon that spirals into the air and just out of reach of a diving Smith.

79th over: Pakistan 245-8 (Yasir 81, Abbas 18) Abbas blocks five balls then launches a flat bat mow to Labuschagne that whistles to the long-on fence. This is very very weird.

78th over: Pakistan 241-8 (Yasir 81, Abbas 14) Lyon continues but Abbas is watchful, defending one then rotating the strike. Yasir is now a man in a hurry, slogging hard but without timing, and fortunate to see his ugly effort land short of Starc at deep mid-on. He seems aggreived to give up the strike to Abbas but from the non-striker’s end he gets to enjoy his tailend partner stroke an off drive with such timing he could be forgiven for thinking Babar never lost his wicket earlier in the day. Abbas now has his highest Test score.

77th over: Pakistan 234-8 (Yasir 80, Abbas 8) Labuschagne gets another over but Yasir is unconcerned, late cutting for a couple, wristily flicking for a brace, then drilling a straight drive for two more. This is a very odd passage of play.

76th over: Pakistan 228-8 (Yasir 74, Abbas 8) Smith is replaced after one over by Lyon but he has been Yasir’s preferred bowler today and again the no. 8 tucks in, cutting for two then whipping a single to move to his highest first-class score. Abbas likes the look of Lyon too, pulling out an almighty hoick for six, out of nowhere. That was like a flash of lightning in a cloudless sky on a sunny day. 31 balls of tailend scrap and then a flicker of Shahid Afridi. You have to love cricket.

75th over: Pakistan 219-8 (Yasir 71, Abbas 2) This is spooky Sunday because Labuschagne is sharing bowling duties after tea with Smith. Presumably the prospect of a follow on remains in play and Paine is hoping to winkle out the last couple of tailenders without redlining his pacemen. I’m sure that will all change by the time the new ball is due. Amongst the speculation Abbas plays out a trouble-free maiden.

74th over: Pakistan 219-8 (Yasir 71, Abbas 2) Smith does have the ball and he lands a serviceable over, but Yasir is untroubled by the variation, nudging, blocking and eventually slogging over cow corner for four. He is much more troubled by some mute calling from Abbas, only narrowly avoiding a very avoidable run out.

The first interval of the day during these day-night Tests is the 20-minute one, so players are already back out in the middle awaiting the resumption of hostilities. And, unexpectedly, Steve Smith has the ball in his hands...

“I’m not a fan of the Aussie team, partly because I think they are a microcosm of the questionable values we’re fed as Australians (esp. men) – sporting achievement trumps all, the dubious concept of ‘mateship’, Don Bradman is god,” emails Alex. “Overtaking him would weaken this huge pillar of Australian identity. I’m not against it! Surely someone has written a paper on this…” If not, we must put Geoff Lemon on the case forthwith.

Pakistan did well to grind their way through a 150-minute session for the loss of just two wickets. Yasir has had his luck, but he’s batted gamely, while Babar looked a class apart on his way to 97. Mitchell Starc changed the session in the space of two balls but Australia’s inability to mop up the tail surely means any chance of a follow-on being enforced is now over. Not the best session from a catching and fielding point of view, but with the match so heavily weighted in Australia’s favour I’m sure they won’t be overly concerned.

73rd over: Pakistan 213-8 (Yasir 66, Abbas 1) Yasir is all over Lyon now, following up his exploits of their previous duel by smoking a square drive for four.

72nd over: Pakistan 208-8 (Yasir 61, Abbas 1) Starc’s decisive spell is over, so Tim Paine naturally turns to... Marnus Labuschagne. It doesn’t work. Abbas dead-bats and leaves his way through a maiden.

71st over: Pakistan 208-8 (Yasir 61, Abbas 1) Who is this batsman, and what has he done with Yasir Shah? Pakistan’s no. 8 is playing superbly, pulling Lyon for a boundary through midwicket then sashaying down the track and dumping the goat back over his head for four more.

Yasir Shah might not ever play a Test again in Australia but apart from dismissing Steve Smith for the 7th time, he’s also now faced 200 balls more than Steve Smith in this series and averaged a Steve Smithesque 60+ #AUSvPAK#braggingrights@cricbuzz

70th over: Pakistan 200-8 (Yasir 53, Abbas 1) Abbas is still out there despite Starc beating the edge on a number of occasions. He even avoids falling into the short-ball trap set for him delivered with all the subterfuge of a Hanna Barbera cartoon character carrying a sign saying “bouncer coming up”.

69th over: Pakistan 200-8 (Yasir 53, Abbas 1) Yasir plays out a maiden against Lyon. Abbas on strike to Starc to begin the next over.

68th over: Pakistan 200-8 (Yasir 53, Abbas 1) Starc is now finding a hint of late reverse swing, meaning he is way too good for Pakistan’s tail to line up with any surety. Somehow he fails to take Yasir’s wicket despite a dismissal seeming inevitable.

Mitchell Starc's bowling average of 20.57 in 2019 is his lowest ever for a calendar year. #AUSvPAK

67th over: Pakistan 197-8 (Yasir 50, Abbas 1) A hard-earned 50 for Yasir, his first in Test cricket. He’s had to ride his luck at times but he’s never lost his head despite a long stay at the crease.

Most innings to make 50 for the first time:
131 Anderson
126 ISharma
115 McGrath
85 Murali
77 Gillespie
71 Bedi
57 Siddle
56 Lock
55 Yasir - the most for Pakistan.

66th over: Pakistan 195-8 (Yasir 48, Abbas 1) A momentum-changing over for Australia and further evidence of Mitchell Starc’s golden arm. The wicket of Babar was batsman error but the follow-up to Shaheen was why a genuine paceman is so valuable in Test cricket. Starc now has six wickets and Paine five catches for the innings.

Abbas survives the hat-trick ball.

Guys with more wickets and a better strike rate?

Dale Steyn, Waqar Younis, Malcolm Marshall, Allan Donald. https://t.co/YN9VRXIDRE

Oh lordy, that is salmon trout first ball. What is the last thing you want as a batsman first ball? A Mitchell Starc yorker of course. What did Shaheen get? A Mitchell Starc yorker. You know the rest. A forlorn review failed to overturn a very simple decision from the onfield umpire. Starc on a hat-trick!

BOOM Starc is on a hat-trick taking Shaheen for a

Stream the second #AUSvPAK Test ad-break free live on Kayo: https://t.co/WrUMc9grxW

Live blog : https://t.co/mUoUgrBXzqpic.twitter.com/roYAI6Wmeu

Now I’m confused. This is T20 bowler rotation. Starc is back after all that end-swapping from the spinners. And would you believe it? He strikes first ball, tempting Babar into a drive outside his off stump that ends skimming off the outside edge and into the gloves of the diving Paine. Finally, a breakthrough. Heartbreak for Babar though, perishing from what was just about his only false stroke in another superb innings.

Babar Azam falls just three short of a Test century!

It's ✋ for Mitchell Starc #AUSvPAKpic.twitter.com/LBJ1xhXyJx

65th over: Pakistan 194-6 (Babar 97, Yasir 48) Interesting, that isolated Starc over was the missing link in a Fox, chicken, grain scenario to allow both spinners to swap ends. Lyon returns to the attack then, but he begins with a long-hop that Yasir bludgeons for four through square-leg.

Since the start of 2018, the only batsman in the world with a higher Test average than Babar Azam is Virat Kohli (min 20 innings. If Babar scores 34 more unbeaten runs, his average in that period will be the highest in the world. #AUSvPAK

64th over: Pakistan 190-6 (Babar 97, Yasir 44) Turns out Paine was just allowing Labuschagne to swap ends, and it almost works perfectly but LABUSCHAGNE DROPS A SITTER in his follow through, shelling a Yasir leading edge that lobbed straight back to him but ended up on the deck. Pakistan have enjoyed plenty of good fortune today.

Meanwhile, in happier times for Labuschagne...

Adelaide Oval honour board updated ✅ #AUSvPAKpic.twitter.com/I5zcd24wPh

63rd over: Pakistan 188-6 (Babar 96, Yasir 43) Back to pace for the first time in a while with Starc replacing Labuschagne. Babar licks his lips and presents the full face of the bat to a length delivery that shoots past the bowler in his follow through before it’s pulled in just before the long-off rope. Yasir tucks in too, working a couple off his hip then guiding a four behind point. That boundary was the mark of a class batsman.

62nd over: Pakistan 179-6 (Babar 93, Yasir 37) Four runs from a stock standard Lyon over.

61st over: Pakistan 175-6 (Babar 90, Yasir 36) Beautiful from Labuschagne, finding Babar’s edge first ball then beating it second with a pair of perfectly flighted leggies that both turned just enough. The remainder of the over is less threatening and Babar fights back, drilling an over-pitched ball on leg stump down the ground for four then bullying a long-hop to the wide midwicket fence.

60th over: Pakistan 165-6 (Babar 80, Yasir 36) Lyon is really floating them up to Yasir now, tempting him as best he can, but despite failing to reach the pitch of the ball on a couple of occasions it’s a maiden over of solid defence from the Pakistan leggy.

59th over: Pakistan 165-6 (Babar 80, Yasir 36) Labuschagne continues but he can’t prevent Yasir bringing up his Cowan ton, nor can he deny Babar runs through the offside.

58th over: Pakistan 161-6 (Babar 77, Yasir 35) Kiss. Of. Death. Yasir must have telepathically read my last entry and decided to prove me wrong by dancing down the pitch to Lyon, missing with a nothing whoosh of a shot, and surviving a very obvious stumping chance only because Paine fluffed his lines behind the stumps.

57th over: Pakistan 160-6 (Babar 76, Yasir 35) A bit looser from Labuschagne this over but Pakistan fail to cash in. Yasir is showing admirable shot selection for a man with a career average of 12.72.

Yasir Shah, along with Babar, one of only two to have enhanced their batting reputations on this tour, is in the form of his life. His previous most runs from any 3 previous consecutive innings was 52. His three innings on this tour total 101, and counting. #AusvPak

56th over: Pakistan 158-6 (Babar 75, Yasir 34) Lyon’s turn to put his head in his hands this time with the prized wicket of Babar almost his. A flighted delivery provokes the inside-edge onto pad but the deflection floats just wide of short-leg. A bit more happening out there now with the twin spin approach.

55th over: Pakistan 158-6 (Babar 75, Yasir 34) Labuschagne sent down a good over, almost snaring a wicket with one that bounced a fraction on Yasir who was stuck on the crease, but the edge from the shoulder of the bat died quickly on Smith at slip and he couldn’t jam his fingers under the ball cleanly enough to earn the benefit of any doubt. That’s the second chance to fall short of slip this morning. Is the cordon too deep?

You know the drill, as soon as the appeal goes up to the TV umpire with a soft-signal of not-out the foreshortened vision is only ever going to confirm the initial judgement.

Smith may have caught Yasir off Labuschagne, but the soft signal is not-out.

54th over: Pakistan 156-6 (Babar 74, Yasir 33) Spin from both ends with Labuschagne and Lyon operating in tandem. Australia seem to simply be waiting for a mistake at the moment. It’s still the best part of a session until the second new ball is due. Not the most thrilling spectacle.

53rd over: Pakistan 155-6 (Babar 74, Yasir 32) This might shake things up, Marnus Labuschagne is on to bowl his occasional leg-spin. It might have done, I can’t tell you, because I just experienced a brief power cut. Shrug emoji.

52nd over: Pakistan 153-6 (Babar 73, Yasir 31) Australia have been surprisingly flat considering the state of play. All in all it’s a bit of a soporific scene. The crowd is sparse, fielders and bowlers are going through the motions, and Pakistan are calmly going about the business of avoiding a whopping defeat.

51st over: Pakistan 151-6 (Babar 72, Yasir 30) Babar is batting with complete control at the moment and Australia look devoid of inspiration bowling to him. Even Cummins is unable to challenge Pakistan’s star who impudently flicks a four through midwicket despite standing legside of a length delivery.

50th over: Pakistan 143-6 (Babar 65, Yasir 29) I reckon this partnership has done enough to end any thoughts of the follow-on being enforced (that sound you can hear is the SACA CEO counting his Christmas bonus). Lyon again looks threatening but fails to take a wicket.

49th over: Pakistan 140-6 (Babar 63, Yasir 28) Yasir is riding his luck now. After escaping all manner of dismissals in recent overs he adds ‘almost run out’ to his collection but benefits from Joe Burns missing his shy at the non-striker’s end following a suicidal single. Babar restores order by leaning into a cover drive off Cummins so pure it’s like a shaft of celestial light guiding humanity to a brighter future.

48th over: Pakistan 135-6 (Babar 60, Yasir 26) Yasir has got away with a couple of rash strokes at Lyon, one of those this over, when he misses a lash to cow corner. As a result he resorts to propping forward a dead-batting, but that strategy almost comes a cropper when he gets a thick edge that looks destined for Smith’s safe hands at first slip but it dies just in time and arrives on the half-volley.

47th over: Pakistan 135-6 (Babar 60, Yasir 26) Cummins continues and he has a rare full over at Babar, one that ends in a maiden. It’s probably worth noting Tim Paine is not in the best of health behind the stumps. He took a blow to a finger on his right hand earlier in the morning when a Starc delivery wobbled a fraction after it passed the bat and he was grimacing and shaking his glove again this over when he gathered a bouncer.

46th over: Pakistan 135-6 (Babar 60, Yasir 26) Another over, another single to Babar, another series of dots to Yasir. This time however Lyon does eventually extract a false stroke from Pakistan’s no. 8, but the ambitious drive flies through the unguarded third or fourth slip region.

45th over: Pakistan 132-6 (Babar 59, Yasir 24) The pattern of the afternoon continues. Cummins bowls reasonably well, Babar rotates strike comfortably, Yasir digs in. This has not been the most thrilling 45-minutes of sport.

“We’ve got six rock-hard avocados on our kitchen table,” sniffs Mike Atherton, covering the NZ v England Test in Hamilton. “I reckon they’d be more interesting to bowl with than a Kookaburra ball.” I borrowed this from our NZ v England liveblog but it bears repeating here. My kingdom for some sideways movement.

44th over: Pakistan 131-6 (Babar 58, Yasir 24) It’s taken 43 overs but it’s finally time for spin and the introduction of Nathan Lyon. Babar is predictably unfazed, riding some extra bounce to cut behind point for three. Yasir does not look as comfortable, giving short-leg a sniff of a bat-pad chance, but he cashes in on some extra length, driving smartly through extra-cover for four.

43rd over: Pakistan 124-6 (Babar 55, Yasir 20) Cummins replaces Hazlewood but the pattern remains the same: Babar milks a single with the minimum of fuss, then Yasir unconvincingly defends his wicket. He’s beaten all ends up from the final two deliveries of the over but somehow avoids an edge or the sound of his timbers rattling.

42nd over: Pakistan 123-6 (Babar 54, Yasir 20) Babar looks impregnable for Pakistan - Yasir, not so much. Since moving from over to around the wicket Starc has troubled the leg-spinner with every delivery. This over he beats the outside edge, then finds it, only to see the ball fly through the vacant gully region for four. The follow up is a slippery yorker than Yasir does well to dig out.

41st over: Pakistan 118-6 (Babar 53, Yasir 16) Into his third over of the afternoon Hazlewood has found his groove. But there’s so little happening in the air or off the pitch Pakistan are able to get in line, defend securely, and accept runs when their firm pushes beat the field.

It is hard going for Australia’s pacemen. Should more to be done to encourage the ball to move laterally, like say, allow a certain degree of ball manipulation by the fielding side? I think so.

The average swing in this Test - 0.38 degrees - is the least for any Test in Australia since the Sydney Ashes match in 2014. #AUSvPAK

40th over: Pakistan 115-6 (Babar 52, Yasir 14) Yasir continues to hold his end up for Pakistan. He’s not the most compact or elegant looking batsman but he has been effective so far, watching Starc closely and adapting to the range of lines and lengths the left-hander inevitably hurls down. Starc looks immediately more threatening when he moves around the wicket but some stifled appeals are as close as he comes to the first breakthrough of the day.

39th over: Pakistan 113-6 (Babar 52, Yasir 12) Yasir is farming the strike so far this morning, and it’s working for Pakistan. This over he repels Hazlewood’s good balls - and there are far more than in his opening over - and profits by slapping a decent short ball to the midwicket boundary. Babar has barely seen the strike but he’s smoked two sumptuous fours, the latest of which clipped off his pads to bring up his half-century.

38th over: Pakistan 104-6 (Babar 48, Yasir 7) Better from Starc, beating Yasir for pace outside his off stump then finding a testing line and length and hitting the bat hard. After doing well just to prolong his stay at the crease Yasir aims a drive to the final delivery of the over and advances his score by one with a mistimed shot that runs towards deep point. Starc is bowling over the wicket to the right-handed no. 8.

37th over: Pakistan 103-6 (Babar 48, Yasir 6) Hazlewood sends down five dots to Yasir from the river end before the batsman nudges a single to the on-side. It’s an unthreatening set of six that are in the main too short and too wide. This has been a sleepy start so far in the city of churches.

36th over: Pakistan 102-6 (Babar 48, Yasir 5) The day begins gently with Babar and Yasir exchanging singles off Starc before Babar, Pakistan’s one genuine star, demonstrates a textbook on-drive, earning a ripple of applause when a standing ovation was probably worthy. Starc just easing into his work. Nothing notable happening in the air or off the pitch.

The players are out in the middle of Adelaide Oval, Australia in cream cable-knit sweater vests, Pakistan in crisp brilliant white. Mitchell Starc has the ball in his hands. Let’s do this.

“How’s the weather looking in Adelaide?” asks Phillip Lewis by email. Well Phillip, it’s chilly, blustery and overcast. It would be no surprise to see a brief shower delay play at some point but hopefully nothing worse than that.

“The extra half hour means I expect 97 and a half overs in today, less 3 overs for the inevitable change of innings. With the result of the game more or less an inevitability perhaps the home team could set themselves the challenge of ensuring the over rate is in line with public and official expectations. This would be a huge boost to Test cricket around the world.”

Meanwhile in domestic cricket, the Renegades have just beaten the Thunder to seal their spot in the WBBL finals. That means Ellyse Perry and Alyssa Healy’s Sixers will miss the finals for the first time.

This is not the only Test cricket going on in this part of the world. Further south in Hamilton, England are staging a fightback in the second Test against New Zealand with Rory Burns and Joe Root finding form. You can catch up on that one over here.

Related: New Zealand v England: second Test, day three – live!

Pitch: Insert your own preferred synonym for flat.

Day three predictions? #AUSvPAKpic.twitter.com/90BXZ0uQge

Weather: Conditions are not optimal in Adelaide, it has to be said. It is cool and windy with showers floating about. The greatest likelihood of an interruption to play will be during the second session.

Hello everybody and welcome to live OBO coverage of day three of the second Test between Australia and Pakistan from Adelaide Oval.

A quick public service announcement before we tuck in. Play will start half-an-hour early to continue making up time lost to rain on day one. Here’s today’s session times in AEDT: 2pm-4.30pm | 4.50pm-6.50pm | 7.30pm-9.30pm.

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New Zealand v England: second Test, day four – live!

December 1, 2019, 5:45 pm
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153rd over: England 435-5 (Root 214, Pope 66) Wagner returns for another spell of self-flagellation and Root splices a mow that drops just short of the sliding Williamson, who ends up on top of the ball. They run one, and I wonder if we’ll see him get close to a triple century; it’s certainly going for him, because after Pope adds a single, another inside edge takes the ball close to the stumps before Watling parries it just wide of the helmet. They run two, and that was an exceedingly odd over bowled.

Right, that’s drinks, and Tanya Aldred is here to coax you through to the end of the day.

152nd over: England 431-5 (Root 211, Pope 65) It’s good of England to put some overs into the NZ bowlers’ legs before they go to Australia later this month. Santner comes back on, and Pope, who’s scoring more easily now, takes one to leg before Root does likewise to long off.

151st over: England 429-5 (Root 210, Pope 64) Here we go! Root gets a leading edge to Henry’s first ball that drops just short of him, then caresses a gorgeous straight six back over the bowler’s heed. Two singles follow, and the lead is now 54, but it’s worth remembering that rain is expected tomorrow afternoon so they’ll be better getting NZ in sooner rather than later, even if it means they need to thrash 80 runs at some point.

150th over: England 421-5 (Root 203, Pope 63) Root’s highest Test score is 254, which he got against Pakistan in 2016; there’s no reason to think he won’t pass that today. He gets two closer by clipping Mitchell’s first ball off his pads then, after a single, Pope murders a wide slower ball for four. He loves that shot square of the wicket, though I’d even have backed myself to give that the treatment, so miserable was it.

“Please wish James Debens the best of the season, with my Holiday Songs XI,” says Mac Millings.

149th over: England 414-5 (Root 200, Pope 59) The field comes in to deny Root an easy single, and when he bangs a drive to cover, Santner dives to field. AND THERE IT IS! CLASS IS PERMANENT! Root defends a corner into the ground, sets off on a boust, and Pope hurls himself to the strikers’ end ... direct hit and he’s gawn, but the throw misses! What an innings this has been! The two batsmen embrace in the middle, then chuckle at the run out that wasn’t between overs.

148th over: England 413-5 (Root 199, Pope 59) Pope thrashes a single to deep cover - he’s picked out the fielders a lot today, but he’s finding the middle of the bat nicely. Root then takes another single off his pads - he’s now one away from some red hot base 10 action; the nervous 190s have been negotiated with ease and speed. Pope then drives two to long off, and Root will have strike at the start of the next over.

147th over: England 409-5 (Root 198, Pope 56) Pope keeps ticking along – two singles to him from this latest Henry over, Henry having replaced Southee – and one to Root.

146th over: England 406-5 (Root 197, Pope 54) Mitchell returns and Root, caught on the crease, immediately administers the thick inside edge; for the second time today, the ball only just passes the stumps. the run two, which raises England’s 400, and the next delivery is the 400th he’s faced. He’s getting close to what’d be his third Test double ton, and two more to midwicket take him to 193 before an expert’s dab to the third man fence adds another four. Root is now one of England’s top 10 run scorers, as noted by Michael Meagher. “He’ll surely finish his career no worse than second on that list,” he says.

145th over: England 398-5 (Root 189, Pope 54) Root cuts behind square and Mitchell parries, so they run two, then he deflects a single to leg.

186* - @EnglandCricket's Joe Root has eclipsed his previous best Test score away from home of 182* which he had set against the West Indies at St George's in April 2015. Reverberate.#NZvENGpic.twitter.com/vEIMtF9LJK

144th over: England 395-5 (Root 186, Pope 54) In lopes Santner, as threatening as a pair of rubber y-fronts, and England add five more singles. Surely they’ll want 45 minutes or so to have at NZ this evening, so need to get a wriggle on.

143rd over: England 390-5 (Root 183, Pope 52) Bumble is properly talking about Bairstow as a potential England Test opener. I’ve not clue, really I do not – his mentality and technique seem so ill-suited to that role. Five off this latest Southee over.

“A friendly rebuttal from Kolkata,” says Abhijato Sensarma. “ood morning to Mr Banerjee! I live in Kolkata myself, and can account for the atmosphere he misses. Cricket is something everyone has some knowledge of in the city. It can be a means of bonding with anyone from a new schoolmate to one’s boss at the office to any random soul you meet in a bus ... The city breathes sports, which people often find as a means of escape, and an opportunity to be a part of something much grander then themselves. The OBO community has been a wonderful place for a cricket fanatic like me too. The warmth in its coverage and correspondence is one of the best things about following the sport. A heartfelt thanks to all involved in it!”

142nd over: England 385-5 (Root 181, Pope 49) Pope gets another run close with a cut to deep point - he likes that shot a lot. Root then nearly feathers a catch to backward point, takes a single to cover, and there it is! Pope bangs a drive to point, it’s fumbled, and he eases through - well batted you mortifyingly young and accomplished individual who already knows joy I will never comprehend.

141st over: England 383-5 (Root 180, Pope 48) But he almost rinses himself, pinned on the crease by Southee and under-edging just past the stumps, before playing four more dots and turning one to midwicket. England are on the charge!

140th over: England 382-5 (Root 180, Pope 47) Santner keeps going – I wonder if they’ll try getting after him. Root takes one to point and Pope does likewise to cover. I daresay he’ll free his arms if he can nurdle just three more.

“There’ll be no Return of the Mac, Millings!” says James Debens.

139th over: England 380-5 (Root 179, Pope 46) Southee has the ball and begins with a leg-side sighter, after which Root takes one to cover and the commentators snigger at a bloke minding his own business enjoying an ice cream. Hilarious.

“Did you realise when you referred to shmondery it is now the only reference in an English article to the word in Google,” emails Carl Jepson. “The other five references appear to be in Russian. Was that a bet amongst the OBO team. If so, well played sir.”

Righto, we’re set to go again...

In other choking up news, Kishalay Banerjee emails: “As a graduate student living in a rented room in Bristol, I have missed watching cricket on television for the last year (except the World Cup, which I caught at the pub). Although arguably, I miss the intense discussions of our small group of cricketing enthusiasts back in Kolkata even more, mostly due to the time difference. The OBO has been my main source of cricketing information this year, and more than the updates, I have especially enjoyed the emails and anecdotes sent in by the other readers. They’ve made me feel that I am connected to the global community of lovers of this beautiful game, even while sitting in a room late at night. Today, I finally came around to adding my two pence to it, and to mention how grateful I am that such a forum exists.”

The great Rob Smyth created that community - I like to see it as a kind of online TMS.

Sky have just played a long interview with Mark Wood talking us through the World Cup final, which is to say thatI am absolutely gone, yet again. I imagine it’ll be available online and, if not, it’s part of some Xmas special or other. Don’t miss it – he’s a brilliant and compelling talker.

And seeing as we were talking about Gordon Greenidge, here’s this.

Related: West Indian epic: when Gordon Greenidge unleashed hell on Australia

Anyway, lunchtime reading:

Related: Like the greats before him, David Warner's triple century was a giant feat in a dull game | Geoff Lemon

That was excellent from Root, who moved things along nicely, while Pope will be better for having gutsed that out. He needs just four to get to his maiden Test fifty, but will be fancying something bigger than that.

138th over: England 379-5 (Root 178, Pope 46) When was the last time England batted a session for no wickets lost? Er, yesterday, but over the last couple of years they’ve been bowled out in a session more often, I shouldn’t wonder. Root takes one from Santner’s over, and that’s lunch.

137th over: England 378-5 (Root 177, Pope 46) In comes Mitchell again for what’s probably the penultimate over before lunch, and following a single, England take the lead when Pope cracks four to backward point. Each run is worth double now, except for the fact that it isn’t.

“Oi Debens! Get off ma turf!” advises Mac Millings.

136th over: England 373-5 (Root 176, Pope 42) On reflection, I feel like I did the word shmondery a disservice – it generally describes something badly made and/or cheap, rather than just something rubbish; please forgive me. The batsmen take a single each from Santner, and the lead is two.

135th over: England 371-5 (Root 175, Pope 41) In commentary, they’re reminiscing about a catch Don Topley took in the 1984 series England played against West Indies. That’s actually the first series I remember - or, at least I remember Greenidge’s double ton at OT - but YouTube is silent on the grab, so let’s enjoy this one instead. One off the over.

134th over: England 370-5 (Root 175, Pope 40) Another Santner over, two singles from it, and Pope is up to 40 – a decent effort given he’s not been middling it.

“You might be the final arbiter on this one,” says John Starbuck. “My wife occasionally uses the term ‘no schmutter’ to indicate something of high value, whereas I feel it applies only in the garment industry. Who is correct? Many thanks for marital harmony.”

133rd over: England 368-5 (Root 174, Pope 39) Mitchell returns; would it be better to be called Daryl Mitchell or Mitchell Daryl? Is Daryl Mitchell intended to rhyme? Pope takes a single towards point, then Root flows two to cover and bunts one to square leg.

132nd over: England 364-5 (Root 171, Pope 38) Santner offers Root a little more pace, so he opens the face to steer four through third man; then top edges a slog sweep that lands safely as they run two; the sweeps nicely in front of square for four. That’s ten off the over and the hunnert partnership; have England gone?

131st over: England 354-5 (Root 161, Pope 38) Pope takes one to cover, then Root does likewise. If the scores are roughly level at lunch, then do England thrash to put time back in the match, or bat sensibly to maximise their lead?

130th over: England 352-5 (Root 160, Pope 37) Santner fiddles through another over which yields a single from its final ball, slapped by Pope to point.

“Speaking of Monopoly (which you weren’t, but the commentators were, apparently)“ says David Horn, “I once heard a radio interview with an expert who shared his strategy for maximising the chances of winning. With Christmas and, no doubt, long afternoons of board games coming up, perhaps some OBO’ers might benefit from them.

129th over: England 351-5 (Root 160, Pope 36) Pope takes one to square leg, the only run off the over. We’ve been playing two hours, but have another half-hour to go because of the early start.

128th over: England 350-5 (Root 160, Pope 35) What do New Zealand do now? England have played a few false shots this morning and one or two were close to hitting the stumps, but they’re not exerting much pressure now. One off Santner’s over.

127th over: England 349-5 (Root 160, Pope 34) Nice from Pope, cutting Henry’s fourth ball for four to backward point, after Root nurdles a single to leg. Pope adds one more, and the lead is now down to 26; England should eliminate that before lunch, and can then see what’s what in the afternoon.

James Debens is back! “Dev, Doosra, Beefy, Mick & Katich; ECB40; The Brian Closetown Massacre; The Botany Bay City Rollers; Peter, Chanderpaul & Mary; Tendulkarsticks; Dravid Bowie and the Spiderlegs From Mitch Marsh; KP and the Sightscreen Band; Fat Freddie’s Dropped; Benaud & The Jets; Brotherhood Of Simon Mann.”

126th over: England 343-5 (Root 159, Pope 29) In commentary, they’re talking about what they liked buying in Monopoly, which tells you all you need to know about how compelling the action isn’t. Luckily, we’ve got this conversation and me detailing this conversation to sustain us; three singles off the over.

125th over: England 340-5 (Root 157, Pope 28) England make up for that fruitful over by taking just three from the next, one dabbed by Root to third man, two flicked by Pope into the leg side.

124th over: England 337-5 (Root 156, Pope 26) After Pope twists to midwicket, Root guides four to fine leg, and three singles follow; that’s more like it.

“Fish fingers” says Gilad McAteer, which is a chirpse if ever I’ve heard one. “Not your Asda smart price (although i did live off them at uni so no disrespect intended), but Birds Eye over any fancy gastropubs attempt any day. Cheers, whats the score again?”

123rd over: England 329-5 (Root 150, Pope 24) Root’s 150 came off 335 balls, which is an absolute load by any standard, never mind his. He’s facing when Henry returns, playing out a maiden.

150 UP FOR ROOT!

The England skipper reaches another milestone and he is not done yet. England are 329-5, trailing by 46.

Watch #NZvENG live: https://t.co/wYNsfbEQk3
Live blog: https://t.co/TpG1C2BO3ypic.twitter.com/rzp1J5pxbY

122nd over: England 329-5 (Root 150, Pope 24) Santner, who had just one over earlier, returns; there’s not a whole lot happening for him, and after a single to each batsman, Root works another off his pads that raises his 150. He raises his bat, but in businesslike manner; there’s work yet to do.

121st over: England 326-5 (Root 148, Pope 23) Root flicks to leg for two; are we saying a daddy is 150+? I think I’d go 170+. Anyway, he’s a run closer when he chops to point and calls for two but adds one; Pope then cracks for to backward point, and my days he’s worked hard for that, by far his best shot of the morning.

120th over: England 314-5 (Root 145, Pope 19) Pope takes one, then a shorter one from Mitchell takes tiiiiime to arrive at Root, who sends it away to fine leg for four. A further single follows.

“Surely everyone can agree a proper greasy spoon fry up is better than any fancy-dancy bottomless brunch offer. Pound for pound the best meal out there,” emails Chef Pig and Fiddle.

119th over: England 313-5 (Root 140, Pope 18) Wagner resumes and Root nudges to cover, raising the 50 partnership; Pope then does similarly. So, at what point do England move? I guess that pace of the pitch makes that tricky in any case, but they’ve got two batsmen in and a series to save.

118th over: England 311-5 (Root 139, Pope 17) Mitchell finds a spot of bounce but directs the ball at Root’s pads; he helps it around the corner for one. The gap between the sides is now 64, and that’s drinks.

117th over: England 310-5 (Root 138, Pope 17) Eeesh! Wagner attacks Root from around and Root stretches forward to impart and inside edge that goes into his back foot and misses leg stump by a breath. Next ball, Root dabs down to third man and they run one; that’s it with the scoring for the over.

116th over: England 309-5 (Root 137, Pope 17) Pope reminds himself to watch the ball as he plays out a maiden from Mitchell –the second of the day.

“I’m watching the Sky coverage as well as following the OBO - I’m sure plenty of others do this. No? Oh.” begins Matt Emerson. “Anyhoo, Craig McMillan’s getup raised eyebrows here too, not only because of what he was wearing (a flat cap! Indoors!) but because it was so ill-fitting I suspect he’d borrowed them off someone else. On the ‘sharing bag’ discussion I’ll put a shout in for the M&S giant buttons. Fancy.”

115th over: England 309-5 (Root 137, Pope 17) A single to each batsman and Root’s first false shot of the morning, an inside edge of Wagner into his pad.

“Of the maligned Bicknell, Ilott, McCague, Caddick, Gooch, Thorpe 1993 attack,” says Ian Forth, “half of them were still playing test cricket for England in 2003. Fair to say Thorpe was no longer a significant component in the bowling discussions, though. What did he bowl, can you remember?”

114th over: England 307-5 (Root 136, Pope 16) Mitchell into the attack with the NZ lead 73, and Root clips a single off his toes to reduce it yet further as in commentary they complain about how many interruptions there’ve been to play, for kit to come on and off and such. Pope then flashes at a wideish one, inside-edging for four - he looks pleased with that.

“Sorry, but did you say beer and a tab at 14?” asks Peter Salmon. “I can see how that bowling attack might have made anyone reach for the acid, but it still seems a little precocious to me. Or is that just how funky Guardian OBO types have to be?”

113th over: England 302-5 (Root 135, Pope 12) In theory, this is a good test for Pope: can he stay calm and patient when it’s not going for him? Santner comes into the attack, and when Root takes his first ball for one, he has five more at yerman; all are dots, but there’s encouragement for the bowler, when Pope pushes at one with hard hands.

“In our younger days my brother and I played a two dice version of Owzthat,” says Phil Withall. “You would initially roll one dice with runs being scored for every number except 5. If a 5 was rolled then two dice were rolled to determine either a dot ball or a method of dismissal. Obviously cheating was rampant and brotherly arguments frequent. We also had a dice football game, the name of which I can’t remember but I recall it being pretty underwhelming...”

Absolutely LOVE this from the South Africa-New Zealand OBO. pic.twitter.com/TOzxcFqjsp

112th over: England 301-5 (Root 134, Pope 12) It’s not flowing for Pope so far, but he forces one away into the leg side by attempting to drive into the off. Wagner, who’s going around to Root, is driven to backward point for one, as Athers talks about how the best education he could’ve had was at the other end to the aforementioned Gooch, who somehow became extra-brilliant at the end of his career; in pretty much any other sport, you’d have wondered if he was doping.

111th over: England 299-5 (Root 133, Pope 11) Root is in touch now. One from Southee stays low, and he adjusts beautifully to pull four; Athers says he’s in the top four England batsmen he’s seen, along with Gooch, Gower and Pietersen. I can’t argue with that, although the best batting I’ve seen across a series was I Ronald Bell of the eponymous Bell’s Ashes, 2013.

One to which we can all look forward:

Related: England set to recall Keaton Jennings in Sri Lanka to help counter spin

110th over: England 295-5 (Root 129, Pope 11) Pope takes a single to leg, then Root has time to floss his teeth and compose a witty yet pithy tweet while a bouncer from Wagner sits up; he uppercuts for four. A pulled single follows – there is literally nothing that doesn’t come pulled these days – and that’s your over.

“Jerusalem Singers Part II,” says James Debens. “REO Speedgun, Kiss My Chaminda Vaas, Googly Withers and the Bowljobs, The Detroit Spinners, Buddy Hollioake & The Crickets, Never Go Full Eddie Hemmings, The Crazy World Of Ali Brown, Geoff Lemon and The Plastic OBO Band, Khawajagoogoo, The Bonzo Rabada Band.”

109th over: England 289-5 (Root 124, Pope 10) I love the phrase “daddy hundred”, mainly because it comes from someone you don’t really think of as a phrasemaker, and because it was popularised not by its progenitor, Graham Gooch, but by someone he drummed it into into whom he drummed it, Alastair Cook. Root then proves the original point, if there was such a thing, by opening the face to run Southee down for four.

“I rejected Owzthat in favour of a more complex scoring system using two dice,” tweets Martin Connolly. “In my defence, weekends in the 60s/70s could get rather tedious.”

108th over: England 285-5 (Root 120, Pope 10) Right then, here comes Wagner; tangentially, I contend that, of the “sharing bag” chocolate genre, Crunchie Rocks are easily the best. Root hauls a pull to fine leg for one, the only run off the over; he looks there for a daddy.

107th over: England 284-5 (Root 119, Pope 10) Craig McMillan is wearing a cardigan, tie and flat cap; no further questions yer honour. Root clips a single off his tootsies, the only run from the over.

106th over: England 283-5 (Root 118, Pope 10) Root takes another single into the covers as Wagner stretches and Pope is beaten again outside off; I’m not really sure what he’s trying to play there, because he’s pushed sown the wrong line at one that he could’ve left.

105th over: England 282-5 (Root 117, Pope 10) Bumble is talking about Owthzat, which tells you all you need to know. Next: kids’ TV, golf, wine. My old fella has an original Owzthat set, which is pretty posh for 50s Cheetham Hill – most people scraped off the ends of pencils. Maiden.

104th over: England 282-5 (Root 117, Pope 10) A single to each batsman; there’s not a whole lot going on out there.

“Just been watching the very wonderful Seven Worlds, One Planet, North America,” says Kim Thonger, “and it strikes me that at the rate polar bears are evolving, to hunt beluga whales instead of their traditional prey, for example, they’ll soon be able to play cricket and frankly I don’t fancy the fragile England batting unit against them. Maybe we should avoid the contest and set up a series against the friendly looking prairie dogs, whose bowling line-up looks far less formidable.”

103rd over: England 280-5 (Root 116, Pope 9) There’s some of that up and downness! Southee fires down a pea-roller that rushes past Root’s bat and just past his off peg; that’s great news for England in its way, if they can fulfil their part of the bargain. Four byes follow, then Root pushes a single to cover and Southee beats Pope, who lazily waves bat at one outside off.

“The sage-faced adults who stand to sing Jerusalem, with actions, need a group name,” says James Debens. “Not The Artichokes, but what? The Ropey Boundaries? The Red Wine Tans?”

102nd over: England 275-5 (Root 115, Pope 9) Jack Leach’s health has improved - he’s still in hospital, but should be good to go home with the rest of the team on Wednesday. Pope drags two to leg, the only runs from the over.

101st over: England 273-5 (Root 115, Pope 7) Root feathers Southee away to point for one; Southee has the slips wider than usual, which makes sense against Root. Pope adds a single more.

“The 1989 Ashes series was the last time I had a dry series, as I was only 17 at the time,” says Simon McMahon. “So I blame English cricket, and in particular Phil Newport and John Stephenson, for the fact that my liver has had to endure thirty years of hurt since then. Never stopped me dreaming though. Come on England!”

100th over: England 271-5 (Root 114, Pope 6) Pope chases a wide one and forces it away to backward point for two. A bunch of sage-faced adults stand to sing Jerusalem, with actions. I know. They applaud themselves subsequently.

Matt Henry has the ball to finish his over from last evening...

Right then, let’s get involved.

He seems an exceedingly sound individual.

He also says his white-line fever comes from how hard you have to work to get to play international cricket. He doesn’t have the skills the likes of Anderson do, he explains, so has to have a proper engine. He’s currently third in the Test rankings.

Neil Wagner tells Athers that however flat a pitch, batting last to save a Test isn’t fun. He says that the pitches in this series aren’t typical of NZ, and that young bowlers need to play on a variety of tracks so that they can do everything, but you learn your craft when you’re not getting help.

I really hope we get a good chunk of Ollie Pope today. He looks to have everything necessary to be very good, and it’s just a matter of when he puts it all together.

“‘...once the scores are round about level, he’ll step on it’”? says Harkran Sumal. “Man alive, sound the hubris klaxon! Looking at what’s to come after these two, I’d take parity, and would be dancing in the streets if offered 400. Steady on!”

That’s how I think he’ll play it if he can. Parity doesn’t get England anywhere.

He thinks England need to get well past NZ if they can, and the surface is deteriorating so he can see the game speeding up.

Root tells Ian Ward that he’s been working hard, “Trying to get rhythm back into my hands, pick them up a bit more, that generally gets my feet going. Little things that don’t look much on the screen make a huge difference,” he says, and also that he was “trying to be over-perfect”.

Ian Smith thinks the pitch is getting a bit up and down, but not quickly enough to help New Zealand today. “You can play on this for a fortnight and nobody will spin it,” says Bumble.

It’d be classic captain-era Root for him to get out early this morning, and he’ll know that. I’d expect him to go carefully to being with, then once the scores are round about level he’ll step on it.

“Reasons to be cheerful, part one,” says Andrew Chappell. “I have really been enjoying imagining myself on those lovely sunny, grassy banks, in NZ. The grounds are idyllic.

Of course, I am stuck in the early winter doldrums here in Montreal at the moment, so in fact, cold November rain in London would look almost as appealing.”

“Evening Daniel, evening everyone,” emails Harkarn Sumal. “I watched the first 90 minutes last night before toddling off to bed. It seemed that New Zealand’s seamers were just hammering away on a middle and leg line to Joe Root, well back of a length, and that on this featherbed of a wicket, this approach was simply feeding paddles and pulls. I know Wagner loves banging it in all day long, but what exactly were they trying to achieve there? It’s not as if they were packing the field on that side to dry us up with leg theory. It made for very odd viewing. I went off up the wooden hill to Bedfordshire with a furrowed brow. Any light to shed?”

I guess they were trying to make him antsy by drying up the runs, but it didn’t work. I agree it’s kind of odd though – tempting him to drive and flash seems a better strategy.

A friend of ours and student of this thing of ours, Rob Smyth, suggests that England’s 2000-01 visit to Pakistan was the last time they played a series this dry. I guess that’s been mainly forgotten in the joy of the climax.

Reminder: we’ll be starting half an hour earlier this morning, to help compensate for time we’ve lost.

We’re all friends here and friends need to be honest with each other, so let’s be honest about this: it’s a long, long time since England played a series as dull as this series has been. And no, this isn’t something I think because England are poised to lose it – like all normal people, I take enormous pleasure in watching the team I support suffer – but is something I think because the pitches have been as dull as these pitches have been.

Of course you want conditions to be different around the world, of course you don’t want every pitch to be green; of course you enjoy slow periods, of course you don’t want matches done in fewer than four days. But you should want every track, however flat, to offer something to the bowlers – whether pace, bounce or turn – and you should want every track, however flat, to have some character.

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Australia v Pakistan: second Test, day four – live!

December 1, 2019, 11:59 pm
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The end is nigh. Pakistan have showed some fight, but when you give a team like Australia a 15-length start you’re playing a game of catch-up that cannot be won. Like Thanos, the result of this match was likely inevitable from the moment Dave Warner’s eye was in.

80th over: Pakistan 229-8 (Rizwan 40) Rizwan hands over the strike with a single off Lyon’s first ball (hmmm!) and Shaheen can’t resist one of good length outside off, but he gets little of his slog and does no more than find Hazlewood running in from long off. That’s Lyon’s 16th five-wicket haul in Test cricket. All five have fallen his way today. And that is dinner.

79th over: Pakistan 228-7 (Rizwan 39, Shaheen 1) Starc again but again no breakthrough for the quick. One more over before the new ball is due.

78th over: Pakistan 227-7 (Rizwan 38, Shaheen 1) Lyon, a fifth wicket in the crosshairs, gets Shaheen on strike with two balls remaining but the No.9 shows decent defensive technique to keep him at bay.

Taking you back a few overs now, but Dave Arthur pondered thus: “I wonder how many times a #6 of the team batting first has not got a hit in a result match? Wouldn’t be often!”

77th over: Pakistan 226-7 (Rizwan 37, Shaheen 1) Starc now on for Cummins, the new ball available three overs after this one. Full and straight, Shaheen survives an appeal for leg before (going down leg, just) before managing to keep out a yorker that has designs on uprooting all three stumps. Maiden over from Starc to the tailender.

76th over: Pakistan 226-7 (Rizwan 37, Shaheen 1) Lyon traps Yasir in front, back in the crease, and his appeal for leg before is readily upheld by umpire Illingworth. Yasir asks for a review but that is plumb. On your way, son. Lyon coming into his own on this flat fourth-day pitch. That’s four wickets now in this dig for Gaz, all taken today. Rizwan finishes the over with a heave over midwicket for four.

75th over: Pakistan 221-6 (Rizwan 33, Yasir 10) Cummins again, this time with a leg gully in place. No doubt Rizwan is still hurting after that blow to the armpit (you don’t write that often) and no doubt he’s expecting more chin music. Three from the over, all from Lyon, and a bit ineffectual from Cummins. Tiring perhaps?

74th over: Pakistan 218-6 (Rizwan 33, Yasir 10) Lyon continues. Nice air and turn, but these two are prepared to defend and work him around the wicket for ones and twos. Four from the over.

Dave Arthur writes in with this:“Hi Scott, I wonder how many times a #6 of the team batting first has not got a hit in a result match? Wouldn’t be often!”

73rd over: Pakistan 214-6 (Rizwan 32, Yasir 7) Good, hostile short bowling from Cummins, and he thinks he’s set Yasir up but the straight, full one that follows just isn’t straight enough, inviting Yasir to clip him backward of square for four. For a player who’s batting average prior to this Test was 12, Yasir is in fine touch. Nice bloke, too, offering Labuschagne an apology and how-are-you after clobbering a pull shot into the short leg’s helmet. I’d say good fielding from Labuschagne. The medicos are out but Marnus is smiling like The Joker, hopefully not from any concussion-related issues. He’s fine. Not sure about his helmet, though.

72nd over: Pakistan 206-6 (Rizwan 30, Yasir 2) A maiden from Lyon and a lovely one at that, highlighted by one that straightened up and beat Rizwan’s bat. Pakistan trail by by 81 runs.

Here’s that Cummins comet from the previous over.

That's going to leave a mark!

Stream the second #AUSvPAK Test ad-break free live on Kayo: https://t.co/WrUMc9grxW

Live blog : https://t.co/0Q9Awa27Q5pic.twitter.com/QuoyPFs7fA

71st over: Pakistan 206-6 (Rizwan 30, Yasir 2) Rizwan wears a Cummins lifter on the upper ribs, just below the armpit. Yowser. The bat immediately flies out the hand. Not surprising. The human body wasn’t designed to absorb little rocks zooming at speeds of 140kph. Rizwan is stretching his arms, his torso. With a stiff upper lip, he gets off the strike with a pull shot for one. A big appeal for leg before to end the over is turned down, with no review, and Yasir survives. Yep, going down leg.

70th over: Pakistan 205-6 (Rizwan 29, Yasir 2) A single off Lyon’s over. Not much to report other than with a keeper, short leg, slip and leg slip in place, the Pakistan batsmen will have plenty of hard-to-understand voices in their ears.

69th over: Pakistan 204-6 (Rizwan 28, Yasir 2) Hazlewood to Yasir, no slips but a short leg in place. The new ball not far away. Amazing, really, how little movement in the air this pink ball has offered. Hazlewood overpitches and strays too far down leg, leaving Starc to effect some sharp fielding at fine leg to save two runs.

Here’s Labuschagne’s catch. See, I wasn’t lying. He can hold onto them.

Relief for Labuschagne! #AUSvPAKpic.twitter.com/d54tS9pEkP

68th over: Pakistan 201-6 (Rizwan 27, Yasir 0) Labuschagne hangs onto one! Iftikar pops one up to short leg and the entire world (sort of) holds their breath as Labuschagne juggles once and then claims the catch.Yasir the new batsman. Wouldn’t Pakistan like another hundred from him.

Thanking you muchly, Jonathan. Some admirable fight on display here from Pakistan. We’ve seen that a few times this series with their backs against the wall. Perhaps catch-up is Pakistan’s game. The first box, drawing level with Australia’s first-innings run orgy, is getting closer to being ticked. But, as Dave Warner and co so devastatingly illustrated, this is a ripper of a batting deck. Even on this fourth day. A little like my faith in Father Christmas, this Adelaide pitch is holding up surprisingly well. Let’s see how the rest of today plays out. It’s a pleasure to have your company. Get involved by emailing me or dipping into the eclectic environs of Twitter - @scott_heinrich

67th over: Pakistan 201-5 (Iftikhar 27, Rizwan 27) Hazlewood returns to plan A, the bumper barrage, but he can’t find the right length, sending a couple of loopy bouncers over Rizwan’s head that are easy to evade.

And that’s drinks. Which means it’s time for Scott Heinrich to take over and for me to have a rest. Will Scott see Australia home?

66th over: Pakistan 199-5 (Iftikhar 27, Rizwan 25) Pakistan deal with the second over of Lyon’s spell much more comfortably than they did the first, Rizwan sweeping smartly for two in an over worth four runs.

65th over: Pakistan 195-5 (Iftikhar 26, Rizwan 22) Apologies to Rizwan, that chance in the previous over was not actually a chance after all. Snicko confirms the ball missed the inside-edge on its way up and over the batsman’s head. Hazlewood continues to probe from the other end and Australia reckon there might be a hint of reverse swing for him to exploit. It manifests in an LBW shout that’s easy to decline, but still refreshing to see the ball deviate off straight for perhaps the third time this Test.

"It's nearly hit him in the head!"

Have you ever seen anything like this? #AUSvPAKpic.twitter.com/Z40ipg6Qhh

64th over: Pakistan 192-5 (Iftikhar 23, Rizwan 22) Belatedly, it’s Lyon time, and his impact is almost immediate but yet another chance goes begging, this time in comical fashion. Rizwan makes a mess of his shot, scooping the ball almost directly above his head, but Paine has no idea where the ball has gone and so fails to pouch a simple chance. The close fielders all converged like a pack of seagulls after a hot chip but none were close enough to complete the dismissal.

63rd over: Pakistan 191-5 (Iftikhar 23, Rizwan 21) The first change since tea is like for like with Hazlewood replacing Cummins from the cathedral end. He reprises Cummins’ early tactic of searching for the mistimed pull and he almost succeeds but Rizwan doesn’t get enough bat on his swipe for it to carry to the leg-side sweeper. Iftikhar almost perishes the following ball but the inside-edge back towards his stumps from a lazy back-foot prod somehow doesn’t send the bails flying.

62nd over: Pakistan 191-5 (Iftikhar 23, Rizwan 21) Starc is afforded another over but there’s little to write home about, even after the big left-armer shifts from over to around the wicket. This partnership is now settled and attuned to the benign conditions.

61st over: Pakistan 188-5 (Iftikhar 23, Rizwan 18) Cummins continues for now and again Pakistan score three runs off his bowling with a back-foot squeeze behind square on the off-side. Matters are drifting again out in the middle of Adelaide Oval.

60th over: Pakistan 184-5 (Iftikhar 20, Rizwan 17) Iftikhar is happy to use the angle of Starc’s stock ball from over the wicket and work it behind square on the off-side. He engineers a couple using that method before rotating strike with it shortly afterwards. After a bright start following the tea break Australia have gone a bit flat again in the field. Perhaps time for more Nathan Lyon?

59th over: Pakistan 181-5 (Iftikhar 17, Rizwan 17) Iftikhar guides Cummins smartly behind point for three but the bowler responds superbly by jagging a length delivery off the seam that prompts a full-throated but futile appeal. Cummins is bang on the money thereafter, hitting Rizwan’s bat hard and causing the Pakistani keeper to skittishly look to rotate strike at every opportunity.

58th over: Pakistan 176-5 (Iftikhar 13, Rizwan 16) Livelier from Starc to begin the second over of his spell and that extra grunt beats Rizwan for pace outside his off stump. Starc retains an excellent line and length and ends a searching over with a maiden.

57th over: Pakistan 176-5 (Iftikhar 13, Rizwan 16) Cummins has the badge on the front of the Pakistan helmet in his crosshairs as he tests both batsmen with a series of short balls. Neither Iftikhar nor Rizwan can resist hooking, and neither looks especially composed, but both survive with singles down to deep square-leg.

56th over: Pakistan 173-5 (Iftikhar 12, Rizwan 14) Starc shares duties with Cummins after the tea break, perhaps surprisingly considering how effective Lyon was before the interval. He finds a tidy line and length quickly and it almost earns him a wicket but a beauty that finds the shoulder of Iftikhar’s bat is dropped by Smith at second slip. That was a very tough chance, the ball dying on the diving fielder, but it’s yet another life to Pakistan. Australia have been uncharacteristically generous this Test.

55th over: Pakistan 170-5 (Iftikhar 10, Rizwan 13) We’re back in business after tea, and it’s the far from overused Pat Cummins with the ball in his hand. Just eight overs so far this innings from the no. 1 bowler in Test cricket. Cummins’ spell begins with a full half-volley that Rizwan leans into and caresses for three through the covers.

An up and down session that ends with Australia edging closer to an innings victory. They bowled and fielded poorly for about 90 minutes before Nathan Lyon stepped up with a decisive intervention, spinning out the two set batsman, Shan Masood and Asad Shafiq.

There’s still nothing in the pitch which means it’s hard work for the bowlers, especially the pacemen. We’ll be back in 20 minutes or so to keep an eye on their toil.

54th over: Pakistan 167-5 (Iftikhar 10, Rizwan 10) The first well-struck shot in anger for some time sees Rizwan’s score advance by four. The right-hander swept Lyon powerfully from outside off stump to behind square-leg.

53rd over: Pakistan 162-5 (Iftikhar 10, Rizwan 5) Hazlewood follows up Lyon’s over with a good ‘un of his own, hitting the bat hard from a decent length.

52nd over: Pakistan 161-5 (Iftikhar 10, Rizwan 4) Maiden from Lyon to Iftikhar. Tea on the horizon.

51st over: Pakistan 161-5 (Iftikhar 10, Rizwan 4) Hazlewood fancies the short ball to this pair of right-handers. It nearly worked in the previous over to Rizwan but this time it’s Iftikhar reflex pulling just short of deep square-leg, the ball spending plenty of time in the air.

50th over: Pakistan 160-5 (Iftikhar 9, Rizwan 4) Lyon is dictating terms out there now, ripping the ball into the right-handers from around the wicket and getting serious bounce. It almost leads to another wicket but a Rizwan bat-pad flies just wide of the diving Labuschagne at short-leg.

49th over: Pakistan 159-5 (Iftikhar 8, Rizwan 4) Lyon’s recall to the attack around half-an-hour ago has transformed this session. It’s not been the best couple of hours of cricket in Australia’s history but the off-spinner’s ability to make something happen and energise his colleagues has handed his team two priceless breakthroughs. Hazlewood has been a good foil at the other end too, keeping Pakistan honest with his line and length. He’s lacked Lyon’s luck though, as exemplified in a wild hook from Rizwan flying safely for four behind Tim Paine when it could easily have resulted in a catch.

Lyon does it again! A good duel of an over with Asad ends with the batsman tickling an inside-edge onto his thigh pad, sending the ball looping into the safe hands of David Warner at leg slip. That was Lyon’s trademark overspin at work, getting the ball to bounce more than Asad expected.

That's out! #AUSvPAKpic.twitter.com/pigmZs5HbQ

47th over: Pakistan 154-4 (Asad 57, Iftikhar 7) Hazlewood beats Iftikhar’s outside edge and is so excited at the sight he bellows hard and long for a catch behind. The problem is he’s the only man appealing and the umpire’s index finger remains curled in his fist. Decent over from the big paceman though, operating as best he can stump-to-stump with a legside field.

46th over: Pakistan 150-4 (Asad 57, Iftikhar 3) Pakistan get busy against Lyon, the two right-handers using their feet and wrists to good effect to keep the scoreboard moving. The pick of an eight-run over is a swept boundary from Asad.

45th over: Pakistan 142-4 (Asad 50, Iftikhar 2) Starc’s brief and unconvincing spell is ended by the recall of Hazlewood, who is immediately in the thick of things. A rank short ball is helped around the corner by Asad but it’s perilously close to Paine’s dive, the third near-miss of that variety this session. That boundary takes Asad to 49 and by the end of the over he’s 50, raising his bat modestly for the 25th time in Tests.

44th over: Pakistan 137-4 (Asad 45, Iftikhar 2) Tight over from Lyon, accompanied by plenty of chat among the Australian fielders. There’s been a welcome rise in intensity over the past 20 minutes or so.

43rd over: Pakistan 136-4 (Asad 44, Iftikhar 2) Lovely shot for three from Asad who leans elegantly into a cover drive that is well stopped in the shadow of the sponsor’s hoarding by Nathan Lyon. He picks up three more to the same fielder in the same square footage of Adelaide Oval to round the over out, this time off the back foot. Starc is still yet to fully fire in this spell, perhaps still hampered his rolled ankle yesterday evening.

42nd over: Pakistan 129-4 (Asad 38, Iftikhar 1) Lyon thinks there’s a chance of a second quick wicket but Warner is wrong-footed at leg-slip and the ball passes him in the air. The signal is leg-byes though so it didn’t matter. Otherwise Pakistan are happy to defend their stumps and accept the occasional single.

41st over: Pakistan 126-4 (Asad 37, Iftikhar 1) The wicket brings spearhead Starc immediately back into the attack but the big paceman is slow to get up to full speed and it’s an unimpressive over largely of looseners.

Brian Withington has dropped in to the the drop-in debate. “I’m liking Andy’s suggestion of tailored drop in pitches - maybe these could include a worn day 5 option? I’m reminded of the story of some of the coconut matting wickets used on the sub-continent back in the day. Apparently touring sides suspected that the tension was adjusted between innings to favour the home team spinners. Bring back the classic sticky dog uncovered wickets, I say - with sprinkler attachments.” Within reason, Brian, within reason...

Related: The Joy of Six: sporting pitch fiascos

40th over: Pakistan 123-4 (Asad 35, Iftikhar 0) Wicket maiden for Lyon, just the fillip Australia required the game drifting.

OUT! The gets the breakthrough, and Shaan Masood holes out to mid-off #AUSvPAKpic.twitter.com/E0C24ctdLW

Wahey! That was a splendidly timed previous entry. The increasingly assured Shan Masood has just dumped a mistimed drive straight down Mitchell Starc’s throat at mid-off. Nathan Lyon has a wicket, Australia have a gift, and Pakistan relinquish their hard-earned initiative.

39th over: Pakistan 123-3 (Shan 68, Asad 35) That’s the 100 partnership for Shan Masood and Asad Shafiq, and it is one that is looking increasingly assured.

38th over: Pakistan 117-3 (Shan 67, Asad 33) Asad has some craft at the crease and he shows his deftness to work Lyon for three down to fine-leg. Australia still going through the motions with a lack of intent.

37th over: Pakistan 114-3 (Shan 67, Asad 30) Labuschagne remains in the attack. “Not sure Australia should be persisting with this bowling partnership,” remarks Damien Fleming on the telly. By contrast, Pakistan are quite happy with the current state of affairs, and they advance their score by four singles in an over lacking incident.

36th over: Pakistan 110-3 (Shan 65, Asad 28) A bit more life in Lyon’s first over after drinks, one featuring a couple of optimistic appeals for bat-pad catches. Asad and Shan prevail though as they have all afternoon so far.

35th over: Pakistan 106-3 (Shan 64, Asad 25) For the second day in a row Marnus Labuschagne’s part-time legspin is called upon early in the piece. His opening over is serviceable but unlikely to cause Pakistan any sleepless nights.

Drinks arrive on the field with Australia facing some awkward questions.

34th over: Pakistan 104-3 (Shan 63, Asad 24) A relieved Lyon enjoys a rare rapid maiden that caused Asad some discomfort.

Andy’s back to keep the conversation about drop-ins going. “You may be right regarding pitches; can’t put the chicken back in the egg and all that. So maybe the push should be to make drop in pitches with variation – maybe a different character for each venue? What we have may be functional but it is so obviously not perfect. Maybe CA should hint that they would be open to procuring pitches from someone who can develop something a little less “samey”? Or even fund some R&D to make a better product? They themselves would be the beneficiaries after all; better viewing spectacle, better attendance, better for skill development for both Shield and the international team. So JH, you with me? Let’s get into them and tell them to pull out their cheque book for improved drop-ins!”

33rd over: Pakistan 104-3 (Shan 63, Asad 24) 100 up for Pakistan and the milestone is achieved in nail-biting fashion. For the second time today Shan fails to connect with a pull and gloves down the legside, but for the second time today the ball flies agonisingly out of reach of Paine’s dive. Hazlewood is going through his full deck of variations now, slower balls, cutters, knuckle balls and bouncers. This is not a fun day to be a fast bowler.

32nd over: Pakistan 98-3 (Shan 57, Asad 24) Shan has scored freely off Lyon today and that pattern continues when he slaps a long-hop through point. He nurdles another single before Asad picks up the baton, sneaking a couple courtesy of another example of Australia’s lackadaisical fielding then smashing Lyon over long-off for four.

31st over: Pakistan 87-3 (Shan 52, Asad 18) Hazlewood provides an excellent measure of the conditions because he is so consistent on all surfaces around the world. Today his conventional line and length is so unthreatening Asad is able to watch the bowler’s arm come over, count the leaves on the Moreton Bay figs next to the scoreboard, lean forward with the full face of the bat presented and calmly jog two runs. An hour gone and Australia’s brains trust will be scratching their heads.

30th over: Pakistan 84-3 (Shan 51, Asad 16) After a sketchy few minutes to open the day Shan is now flying. He reaches his sixth Test 50 by stepping down and bullying Lyon through mid-on for four.

29th over: Pakistan 79-3 (Shan 46, Asad 16) Asad blocks a maiden over from Hazlewood. This could be a long couple of days in the field for Australia.

Andy in FNQ has joined in via email. “Saw the earlier comment regarding the lifeless pitch; think that this is far more of an issue than the ball. It is no accident that the Gabba is the best pitch in Australia; it’s because it doesn’t use a drop-in pitch. These blights on Australian cricket have been shown, summer after summer, to be identical, single paced, and far too durable. They don’t wear, and offer nothing for pace or spin. When are Australia’s major stadiums (with Cricket Australia’s support) going to stand up to the AFL and say centre wickets are coming back for good? Brisbane play at the Gabba without any issues on its centre wicket; time for the other venues to follow their great example!” An admirable sentiment Andy but I think that particular genie is out of the bottle never to return.

28th over: Pakistan 79-3 (Shan 46, Asad 16) Lyon sends down the ball of the day so far, ripping one past Shan’s outside edge that misses the bat by the width of a Higgs boson. Around that beauty Pakistan collect a couple of singles pretty straightforwardly.

27th over: Pakistan 77-3 (Shan 45, Asad 15) Tim Paine is really overcomplicating things this morning. Hazlewood begins his second over with an extra fielder on the legside, meaning there are four fielders either catching or saving one between square leg and mid-on. Guess what he sends down? That’s right, a long-hop wide of off stump that is dismissively cut to the third-man fence by Asad.

Over the past two days, save for that one spell of Starc’s under lights with the new ball, Australia have bowled and fielded very poorly. They’ll need to be better against New Zealand.

26th over: Pakistan 73-3 (Shan 45, Asad 11) Tighter from Lyon, getting some nice drift on his offies and tempting Asad into driving on the front foot. The batsman looks assured against the slow spin though, as you’d expect from a top-order Pakistani.

25th over: Pakistan 71-3 (Shan 44, Asad 10) Double change for Australia with Hazlewood replacing Cummins from the cathedral end. Shan is now determined to attack, regardless of who happens to be bowling, pulling firmly well in front of square to a short ball. Australia’s tactics to him so far today have been questionable - too short and straight - and Ricky Ponting on TV has had enough. What’s wrong with the top of off, he asks forlornly.

24th over: Pakistan 66-3 (Shan 39, Asad 10) Spin for the first time today with Lyon replacing Starc and giving Shan something new to consider from the river end. He spends all of three balls in a state of contemplation, then he skips down the track and deposits a testosterone fuelled six over the bowler’s head like it’s payday in the IPL not a 180-over vigil to scrape a draw. Tremendous fun.

23rd over: Pakistan 59-3 (Shan 33, Asad 9) It’s a battle of wills between the right-handers Cummins and Asad in these early exchanges. The bowler is finding a consistent line and length, keeping the batsman pinned to his crease, but Asad holds his nerve and finally drops the ball into a gap to collect his first run of the day. Following that wake-up call form Starc Shan is now motoring. He backs up his consecutive fours from the previous over with a lovely checked off-drive for two, then a glance off his hip for one more.

22nd over: Pakistan 55-3 (Shan 30, Asad 8) Starc again focuses on Shan’s stumps, and it almost pays dividends when the left-hander aims an uppish drive in the direction of the two catchers at short midwicket, but fortunately for Pakistan the stroke is so mistimed it doesn’t carry on the full. Shan is even more fortunate a couple of balls later when he gloves a pull down the legside that lands just wide of the diving Paine. It appears that let-off sparks something in the opener because he then smashes consecutive boundaries, both pulls through midwicket, the second of which is sweetly timed. A curious over.

21st over: Pakistan 45-3 (Shan 20, Asad 8) Cummins is proving difficult to get away with his angle into the right-handed Asad from over the wicket. The pressure almost induces an error when Asad under-edges a square cut in the direction of his stumps but there’ no harm done.

20th over: Pakistan 45-3 (Shan 20, Asad 8) Starc is persisting with that straight line of attack to Shan, preying on the batsman’s tendency to drive with a closed bat face. Despite a couple of catchers stationed in the same short midwicket region Shan still manages to work a couple of runs into the legside.

19th over: Pakistan 43-3 (Shan 18, Asad 8) Just the single to document from an over of Cummins deliveries on a tight line and length to Shan.

“If Australia were playing a more resilient opponent who also scored 400+ in an innings, would we be saying this is an awful pitch and something should be done about it?” asks Murray Henman. “I’m also wondering whether this question also applies to the Gabba?”

18th over: Pakistan 42-3 (Shan 17, Asad 8) Mitchell Starc with the first full over of the day, the left-armer loping in from the river end, targeting the left-handed Shan Masood’s stumps with a field inviting a tighter line than perhaps we’ve become accustomed to. Inevitably that means Starc leaks onto Shan’s pads and Pakistan work their first runs of the day through square-leg.

17th over: Pakistan 39-3 (Shan 14, Asad 8) Asad Shafiq props forward and defends the final ball from the Pat Cummins over that began yesterday evening. We are away!

The players are making their way out into the middle. Day four will be up and running imminently.

There’s some cricket happening just across the ditch too, where England have given themselves a sniff of an unlikely victory.

Related: New Zealand v England: second Test, day four – live!

Do you want something meaty to chew on in the minutes leading up to the first ball of the day? Well, sink your teeth into this Geoff Lemon classic on David Warner’s 335.

Related: Like the greats before him, David Warner's triple century was a giant feat in a dull game | Geoff Lemon

Pitch: The Adelaide Oval surface has been dull for three days and there’s little indication that’s going to change today.

Here's how the track looks ahead of day four.

The forecast looks pretty good - what's going to happen today?#AUSvPAKpic.twitter.com/TbxCP50cxo

Missed what happened yesterday? Catch up on all the action, including Yasir Shah’s sparkling century, right here.

Related: Mitchell Starc shines as Australia close in on second Test win over Pakistan

Weather: The good news is it’s dry in Adelaide and forecast to remain so for the rest of the day. However it is cool (top of 17C) and there is a gusty souwesterly keeping the flags afluttering on top of the famous old scoreboard.

Sunny and windy. #AUSvPAKpic.twitter.com/l6rb08Y5fx

Hello everybody and welcome to live OBO coverage of the fourth day of the second Test between Australia and Pakistan from Adelaide Oval.

Once again play will get underway half-an-hour earlier than scheduled to make up overs lost to rain. That means today’s session times are as follows (in AEDT): 2pm-4.30pm | 4.50pm-6.50pm | 7.30pm-9.30pm.

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New Zealand v England: second Test, final day – as it happened

December 2, 2019, 7:23 pm
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Rain brought an early end to proceedings with the match destined to be a draw in any case, giving New Zealand a 1-0 series victory

Otherwise, I suppose that’s us. New Zealand win 1-0, so congratulations to an excellent and likeable team. However the combination of flat, slow pitches, along with the Kookaburra ball, made for a relatively dull series between two teams who should be anything but that – and that was a shame. Still, cricket is better than no cricket and we’ll be back extremely soon for the SA series. Thanks for your company and comments over the last fortnight or so – ta-ra!

Here’s Ali Martin’s report...

Related: Drawn second Test hands New Zealand 1-0 series win over England

Finally, he thinks a lot has been learnt about the group. Ideally, that would’ve happened in the context of a 2-0 win, but it didn’t happen like that. On the plus side, the series in SA is for championship points and he thinks his team will be better for it.

As for the batting, Root says Pope showed great maturity to play within himself and manage situation, getting the team into a situation where England could dictate and he could play his natural game. He says that Sibley will have learnt a lot, and that Pope is adequate as a deputy keeper.

Wood and Anderson are both in South Africa getting overs in; both should be ready to go if selected. Bairstow is out there too, and Root needs to speak to Moeen and Ed Smith about his availability. He says he’s a fine player and will be back but doesn’t know if it’ll be for the next series.

Root tells Sky that it feels like England tried everything today but dropped a couple of chances. He says England are learning a lot and learnt from New Zealand, namechecking Wanger’s engine and perseverance. He says his team need to take more chances, but there was a vast improvement this week, and laughs that Denly is a bit sore.

Root thinks it was the right call not to play a spinner, and it was an opportunity to try something outside of the Test championship. He says Archer has found that Test cricket is hard and you can bowl well without getting rewards; he has a lot of learning to do but has to stay mentally and physically resilient. He’s a fast learner and will be better for this experience.

Williamson accepts the trophy, and his team join him for photos. Like Wagner, he seems an absolutely superb bloke.

Kane Williamson is up next and praises a great fighting effort despite losing both tosses; I like his hoody, which is grey with orange detail. He says this surface was a tough one and didn’t break up as expected, but his players kept wanting the ball in their hand when nothing was happening. His team have good challenges coming up, and he praises Daryl Mitchell on debut along with Matt Henry, while hoping Trent Boult and Colin DeGrandhomme will be ready for Australia.

Er, Root’s back. He thinks the pitch might’ve deteriorated quicker without the rain and his team would’ve batted differently at the end of their innings. His team want to learn quickly - unlike those who don’t - and make big totals which put opponents under scoreboard pressure. The group have learnt a lot and he’s learnt a lot about them, he says, and is looking forward to South Africa. He thanks the fans who’ve supported his team, and he’s off again.

Neil Wagner is man of the series, and that’s richly deserved for top bloke and a developing top bowler.

Joe Root is man of the match and says he felt good following a tricky period at the start. Simon Doull tells him he felt the criticism of him was “unwarranted” - I really could not tell you why - and Root says he was working on some little technical things, trying to get movement back into his hands and a solid base. The pitch didn’t break up as he’d hoped - I’m sure his spinners would’ve taken advantage of that - and he says he’s proud of how his team came back and learnt the lessons of the first Test.

They’re shaking hands and such.

So there we go.

“I think he could,” says Benjamin Macintyre of Santner. “It does depend on many things we can’t predict though. If it’s stifling hot the week leading up to Boxing Day in Melbourne the groundsmen will not be able to stop it getting dry quickly. If it’s a fast bowler’s wicket though, I’m not sure any spinner would be able to hold an end down on days 1 and 2 - not just Santner.

This is, of course, all academic as Sodhi is going to make a surprise appearance and rip through everyone.”

You cannot see that Denly drop enough times, and they’ve just blessed us with it yet again. Sensational.

It’s stopped raining but is extremely wet. I can’t see anyone’s arsed to keep on with this, but we can hope.

On which point, I absolutely loved this.

Mark Wood is such a great interviewee. I mentioned him taking us through the final yesterday, because they played it at lunchtime, and I’m still enjoying it now I’m seeing it a second time. He’s just informed us that the dressing room “was literally flying”.

Back to Santner, Sydney might spin, but they’re not playing at Adelaide. And maybe he’ll get fourth-innings wickets if NZ bat first, but are we really saying he’s good enough to hold down an end on days 1 and 2? Hmmm.

And he’s back! “As a Kiwi, your retelling of England’s world cup tie-umph is giving me flashbacks,” he says.

Cricket was the winner. I deadpanned that.

“I think it’s harsh to suggest that NZ doesn’t have a quality spinner when they have Mitchell Santner,” says Benjamin Macintyre. “His Test stats don’t show the progress he has made this year and whilst he doesn’t necessarily rip through sides in the manner of legendary spinners such as Warne he is the perfect option when you need to quieten a batting pair hitting their strides and even get one or two of them to nick off. If the Australian summer sun starts to really dry up the surface I can see Santner doing some real damage in the upcoming Australia v NZ series.”

Fair enough. I’ve not seen that yet, and I’d expect Warner, Smith and ilk to go after him. But I’m often wrong.

We’re seeing pictures of umpires and captain chatting. It’s still raining, but England can still pull this off...

I cannot believe what I’ve just seen!

According to Cricinfo, there’ll be a final decision made at the hour. We know what it’ll be, but that’s when it’ll be.

“If I were a betting man, I would say that the upcoming series against Australia has got the potential to be one of the best in recent times,” says Abhijato Sensarma. “With the exception of Raval, the Kiwi batting has never been in better form. If flat pitches are the order of the day, they’ll feel right at home. As for the Aussie bowling threat, they did seem to lose the plot at certain times on the field against Pakistan in the recently-concluded affair, but their great returns nonetheless speaks volumes about the threat they possess. This might be the first time New Zealand has a favourable chance of winning a series Down Under. I, for one, will be following with a keen eye.”

I’d love to see that, but I’m not sure. Taking 20 wickets in Australia, where medium pace gets whacked, if extremely difficult. New Zealand lack a quality spinner, and will be needing plenty from Ferguson and Wagner. It’s possible, but probably not likely.

...or, put another way, we’re almost done.

Inspection in five minutes...

Stokes has just played a glorious dive for six. What a player!

This World Cup final wasn’t bad yano. I think I’m about ten to tears.

“If Australians ridiculed Mike Brearley’s long jumpers,” says Ian Forth, “what are they to make of David Warner’s (image, over 48)? I mean a lesser man than me might say ‘What is he hiding in there?!’, but fortunately I’m much, much better than that.”

I don’t mind him wearing it, but not with trousers.

“I’ve worked in education for many years,” confesses Noel Sheppard, no relation of Dr from the Murder of Roger Ackroyd. “Mainly primary, with some secondary and a smattering of university thrown in. And for the last several years I’ve been teaching 11-year-olds, and every morning we would have a discussion of any news that caught their fancy. One morning Teddy came in, to tell us he’d just heard the Admiral in charge of the Danish Navy on the news. He was on to announce the completion of a lengthy program to barcode every vessel in the Danish sea-force. When asked why, he replied, ‘So we can Scandinavian.’ To this day, Teddy remains a source of some of my best jokes!”

My six-year-old’s friend told her the following:

Thanks Tanya and greetings all. On Sky, they’re showing the Borg-McEnroe tiebreak World Cup final, which tells you all you need ta kna. Anyhow, we can chat, for as long as we can pretend this isn’t over – send me your thoughts to the addresses which will appear above when you hit the re-fresh.

Kim Thonger scrambles brains from a distance.

If Schrödinger took up cricket, and was stationed at deep square leg, and was under a skied hook, at the moment the ball landed in his hands, would it be Schrödinger’s Catch, but also would we not know whether it was held or dropped?

What riches! Another message, this time from Sebastian Bloomfield.

I’m enjoying The Guardian’s commentary all the way down in NZ. Do you think Jeet Raval should be replaced by Martin Guptill in the Australia series? Surely more opening experience would warrant a draft into the squad for Guppy, especially considering the Australian pitches. What are your thoughts on a Guptill/Latham opening combination? Kane Williamson may not have to open (as he is doing, essentially) anymore.

Sky chat away in the studio, but we break briefly to look at the ground. Whoops, apocalypse, as they say.But an email to warm our cockles, from Hugh McCarroll:

As a local, my condolences regarding the weather.

There’s someone out there! AJ Hunter writes: As an American watching, why is this series not considered part of the ICC World Test Championship? Is it so each teams series count even? Or something else?

Hi AJ. Yes, there’s no conspiracy, it is just that the World Test Championship was designed after this series was already in the bank. Each team in the Championship will play six series between August 2019 and June 2021 (three home and three away). They all count - (excluding games against non WTC counties Ireland, Zimbabwe and Afghanistan) except this one!

This looks like a long rain delay, though the crowd haven’t left the ground yet. Do send me your thoughts, on this or that, on New Zealand’s chances in Australia, or England’s in South Africa.

75th over: New Zealand 241-2 ( Williamson 104, Taylor 105) Taylor sniffs the air and smells rain. Four, six, six, thanks very much, his 19th Test hundred, and just on cue, the groundstaff zip up their jackets and the rain starts to fall .

74th over: New Zealand 225-2 ( Williamson 104, Taylor 89) Denly whizzes through another over.

73rd over: New Zealand 220-2 ( Williamson 103, Taylor 85) A barmy quick single, saved only by an off-target throw by Sam Curran, is followed by a sweep down on one knee as Williamson reaches his 21st Test hundred. He removes his helmet and the wind ruffles both hair and beard in celebration. He’s given a few chances, and ridden out the Ben Stokes storm, but classic Kane.

72nd over: New Zealand 213-2 ( Williamson 97, Taylor 85) Williamson drives Denly through the off-side to shuffle closer to three figures.

The heavens have indeed opened here in Auckland....and it looks like Hamilton won’t be far behind (according to the rain radar on the Met Service website) writes Andy Goulden. Will Captain Kane get his ton? You’d think they could forgo the sarnies for half an hour as the weather is closing in but I suppose that’s one reason we love the ever logic defying game of test cricket.

71st over: New Zealand 211-2 ( Williamson 96, Taylor 84) The umpires’ black slacks undulate in the breeze and the floodlights are on. Root thinks he might as well keep going and Taylor plays out a maiden. He and Williamson are second and fourth in the list of all-time leading New Zealand run-scorers.

We see Root giving his troops a pep talk before they all stroll back onto the pitch. The sky is grey, but not black.

The heavens have opened in Auckland about 70 miles away...

70th over: New Zealand 211-2 ( Williamson 96, Taylor 84) Ben Stokes bowls the last over before lunch. Williamson considers the forecast and pulls him twice, quite beautifully to the square leg boundary. They all potter off for sandwiches and we catch a glimpse of the sky, which is darkening. A bumbling morning for England, with those two drops by Ollie Pope and meme creator Joe Denly. The game drifts towards its natural end. Time for a quick stretch, back soon.

69th over: New Zealand 202-2 ( Williamson 88, Taylor 83) Time for some Joe Root. He brings the fielders forward, he urges them back with his long conductorial fingers. Sleeves buttoned down, he twirls; Taylor plays him with nuff respect, then a nudge down to square leg to reach 7000 Test runs, only the second New Zealander to get there. Then Root turns one into Taylor’s pads, big appeal turned down, but decides not to review.

68th over: New Zealand 201-2 ( Williamson 88, Taylor 82) Against the run of play, a little Christmas sparkle . Stokes fires one in short, Williamson misjudges as he swivels to pull and the ball pings into his helmet and sprays behind where Pope catches it. A half-hearted appeal from both Stokes and Pope and Root decides to go for the review. And why not? He’s not out - there’s no contact with the swooshing bat, and Lockie Ferguson brings out a new helmet. Taylor and Williamson continue to get their eye in for the battle ahead across the Tasman. New Zealand’s lead is 100.

67th over: New Zealand 197-2 ( Williamson 87, Taylor 80) Curran heads wide of the crease to send the ball in. Williamson eases a couple of runs and starts to think about lunch.

66th over: New Zealand 195-2 ( Williamson 85, Taylor 80) Ben Stokes, to bowl for your life? He digs six short balls into unresponsive soil, undaunted by the lack of reward. He laughs in the face of pancakes.

65th over: New Zealand 190-2 ( Williamson 84, Taylor 77) Nowt of note.

Speaking of Gatting, writes Tom from North London, watch this.

64th over: New Zealand 186-2 ( Williamson 80, Taylor 77) Denly. Two singles. Lots of school kids in maroon t-shirt and shorts frolic on the grass.

63rd over: New Zealand 184-2 ( Williamson 79, Taylor 76) The Christmas perfume ads have hit - though none as memorable as the one years ago for L’egoiste that involved lots of people opening and closing shutters loudly whilst shouting. It made quite an impression at a sensitive age. Not that I ever bought it. Curran skips through a maiden with a smile on his face and a lolly in his pocket.

62nd over: New Zealand 183-2 ( Williamson 79, Taylor 75) Denly whizzes through his over, as if he might fast-forward through the day so fast that it disappears.

61st over: New Zealand 179-2 ( Williamson 75, Taylor 75) Woakes strides actively to the crease. Williamson trots through for a single. Would it be too harsh to say the most interesting thing that is going to happen before lunch is the race to see who reaches their century first? Though when I say race, I mean it in its broadest possible sense.

Antnie writes from across the channel. I am following, avidly, I promise, in deepest France, though I’m having trouble picturing pink stains on bowlers trousers. I hope your hottie bottle is under control tonight.

60th over: New Zealand 178-2 ( Williamson 74, Taylor 75) And with a single to mid-on off Denly, that’s the 150 partnership between Williamson and Taylor, off 306 balls. They reach out, and shake hands.


59th over: New Zealand 176-2 ( Williamson 72, Taylor 75) A bearded Chris Woakes is rather discombobulating , he starts to look like all the other bearded warriors, a bit of Mark Wood, with a touch of Virat Kohli. Beards have definitely got better though. Compare Mike Gatting’s to the 2019 versions.

58th over: New Zealand 175-2 ( Williamson 72, Taylor 74) Denly is bowling with his shades on, as Root polishes the ball for him on the back of his trousers. Not much happens, but the odd brain cell starts to disengage.

57th over: New Zealand 172-2 ( Williamson 70, Taylor 73) And a maiden from Woakes, as the wind ruffles the players’ shirts. And some more appreciation for Steven Finn pops into my email box.

Good evening, Tanya, writes Peter Stoker.

Not much to cheer about in this series other than, perhaps, the emergence of Steve Finn as a splendidly genial and good-natured pundit on TMS (although I appreciate, of course, that you have to follow the Sky telly feed). Let’s hope the lad has a good few years left steaming in from the Pavilion End at Lord’s. But after hanging up the size 16s...

56th over: New Zealand 172-2 ( Williamson 70, Taylor 73) Denly again, Taylor and Williamson are untroubled, Taylor laying into a crisp cut for four off his last ball.

55th over: New Zealand 164-2 ( Williamson 68, Taylor 67) Time for a bit of Chris Woakes, who takes long, brisk strides back to his mark and unfurls a tidy over.

Surely if the DRS was applied to Schrödinger‘s Cat, writes Kim Thonger, we’d find out once and for all if the ruddy thing was dead or alive and put an end to the uncertainty?

54th over: New Zealand 163-2 ( Williamson 68, Taylor 66) Nice little bit of captaincy here, as Root throws the ball to Denly - let him try to make amends, or at least not mull over the drop isolated in the field. The wind is getting up, and rattling the trees surrounding the ground.

53rd over: New Zealand 161-2 ( Williamson 66, Taylor 66) Fortified by drinks, Archer rolls through another over. It’s free entry today by the way, so if you’ve got time on your hands in Hamilton, why not mosey down.

Joe Denly should never have gone to the Marnus Labuschagne catching school, snorts David Markham.

52nd over: New Zealand 157-2 ( Williamson 65, Taylor 63) Good old Stuart Broad runs yet another over into those tired old legs. Enthusiasm undimmed. Three not particularly memorable singles and that be drinks.

This seems a bit cruel, but here you go, to accompany your coffee/cocoa.

Feast your eyes... https://t.co/2Q7kQgVSK8

51st over: New Zealand 155-2 ( Williamson 62, Taylor 61) A maiden from Archer. Trouble at the last ball when Taylor sends Williamson back and he only just makes his crease via a sprawled dive.

50th over: New Zealand 155-2 ( Williamson 62, Taylor 61) A maiden from Broad, as poor ostracised Denly trudges around the field unloved. Give him a hug someone.

49th over: New Zealand 154-2 ( Williamson 62, Taylor 61) Oh dear. Cover your eyes. Joe Denly has just dropped the sitter of all sitters. Archer bowls to Williamson, one of those balls where he doesn’t use his front arm, Williamson tips it straight into Denly’s hands at short midwicket, and I mean straight, Denly doesn’t move his feet an inch, and just waits for the ball to come into his hands, which it does, and then falls straight back out. Broad covers his mouth with his hands , Archer, who was already celebrating, puts head to his hand and then laughs.

48th over: New Zealand 151-2 ( Williamson 59, Taylor 61) There’s a scattering of bare-footed crowd on the banks either side of the sightscreen as this game meanders away. A steady over from Broad.

He might as well have got a duck ... all that hard work ruined https://t.co/pUiIbLWEDm

47th over: New Zealand 149-2 ( Williamson 59, Taylor 61) Archer again, nothing too steamy, but on the button. Just a couple from the over.

Geoff Wignall offers this up:

46th over: New Zealand 147-2 ( Williamson 58, Taylor 60) A double-switch as Broad replaces Stokes. Nothing much to report except for Zak Crawley tripping over himself in the covers, like a British rom-com hero negociating unexpected ice.

45th over: New Zealand 143-2 ( Williamson 58, Taylor 56) So Root turns to Archer. They have a man to man at the top of the mark and Root shuffles the field. Taylor swivels and pulls a short one, 117kph, for a single, then Williamson ducks, like a leapfrogger.

I think if we’ve learned anything it’s that New Zealand are good enough to beat England, and that the groundskeepers should be more adventurous in preparing pitches for a result, writes Joe Harvey, wisely, This second test has been disappointing. As an England supporter, I worry that we haven’t learned much- we’re still trying to figure out if Root is cut out for Captaincy, and if the Bowling attack needs a more aggressive shuffle.

44th over: New Zealand 143-2 ( Williamson 58, Taylor 56) And fifty for Taylor too, a more chunky, risky, effort but very entertaining. He jumps off the ground to swish a Stokes wide one over gully for four, then next ball sends him through the covers for successive boundaries. Taylor and Williamson stroll together, shoot the breeze, and touch gloves.

43rd over: New Zealand 134-2 ( Williamson 58, Taylor 47) Beautiful from Kane Williamson, first a dreamy extra cover drive, then he drops the hands and kisses Curran down to third man for another four.

Some excellent silliness from @finnysteve on TMS just now @tjaldred. Offering himself over to @Cricket_Mann's hotel for dinner and a bedtime story. He's been quietly good on this tour: very much banter-free. Frankly, after Pope's unfortunate miss it's all we have.

42nd over: New Zealand 124-2 ( Williamson 49, Taylor 46) Taylor decides to lay into Stokes with a swift-handed slap through backward point for four. Lots of muscle but no reward yet for Stokes.

41st over: New Zealand 115-2 ( Williamson 45, Taylor 40) Curran goes through the motions, all effort and sweaty hair. Williamson plays him poker-faced until stealing a couple down to long-off.

A cracking email from John Starbuck.

40th over: New Zealand 113-2 ( Williamson 45, Taylor 40) A Stokes tester, he torments Williamson with variations of length and bounce.

@tjaldred Root's double hundred just prolonged the captaincy debate, much like Cook's higher scores when he was the big cheese.#rootout

39th over: New Zealand 113-2 ( Williamson 43, Taylor 40) Two contrasting boundaries for Taylor off Curran, a cover drive, all smooth hazelnut, then a Toxic Waste outside edge, down through third man.

Good evening Tanya

37th over: New Zealand 103-2 ( Williamson 43, Taylor 32) A drop! Stokes shoves one short and Williamson gloves it down the leg-side only for a porridge-legged Ollie Pope to drop it . To rub salt into the wound, Williamson then pulls Stokes with pizazz for four and New Zealand go into the lead.

37th over: New Zealand 99-2 ( Williamson 39, Taylor 32) A smart shy at the stumps from Sam Curran could have had Taylor in trouble, but his foot was comfortably back over the crease. Curran completes a neat maiden.

William Hargreaves drops a line. What do you feel will be the outcome, how fair a reflection of two teams’ capabilities would this be, and how do you think this will influence two teams going forward, please?

36th over: New Zealand 99-2 ( Williamson 39, Taylor 32) I was wondering whether Archer might get the ball from the other end, but Root has plumped for Stokes who toyed with Taylor yesterday evening. Again he seems to get Taylor in two minds, with the odd ball behaving unexpectedly off the pitch. Taylor pulls, inconclusively.

35th over: New Zealand 98-2 ( Williamson 39, Taylor 31) SamCurran is handed the ball and scampers in from the Barmy Army end where a half-cut rendition of Jerusalem assaults the ears.

And out the players come - for perhaps the last session of the series.

An early joke, for our more mature readers, care of James Debens.

Someone’s stolen the Trotters’ Reliant Robin van and sold it to the US.

Mark Butcher fancies Moeen Ali to rejoin England for the South Africa tour. I do hope so. Then they move on to Jofra Archer - Atherton says he’s an absolute diamond, but has realised how difficult Test cricket is away from England and the Dukes ball. Says we need to dampen expectation a little, but he’s a wonderful player.

An interesting tale here:

Two men admit plotting to bribe professional cricket players - Manchester Evening News https://t.co/V0HFyx5hwQ

My son has a new joke book. This is his favourite.

Bill: I’m letting my pet pig sleep on my bed.

In the Sky studio they’re having a selection chat for the South Africa series.

Mike Atherton think Dom Sibley might not be right, for now, and looks a bit limited. He suggests they might shove Denly up to open and thinks Ollie Pope looks the best English batsman since Joe Root.

So, here we are, two mince pies into December, with just one day left of the first tour of the new regime. Downpours are due, probably by lunch, so any hopes of England levelling the series, or New Zealand pulling another rabbit out of the hat, seem remote.

It’s all about the little presents left unobtrusively at the foot of the tree. In foil, England’s longest Test innings for four years. With raffia, Ollie Pope’s debut fifty and Tom Latham’s century. Gift-boxed, Joe Root’s double ton. And finally, busting out of a too-small envelope, Neil Wagner’s five wickets.

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Australia v New Zealand: first Test, day one – live!

December 11, 2019, 8:35 pm
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No surprises there – Tim Paine says with a smile that after bowling first at The Oval, he’ll never do it again. Best to bat first on this surface though. Kane Williamson smiles wryly at the thought of standing in the field for another 600-run innings, and says there’s some moisture in the wicket so they’ll just have to make the most of it. Good luck...

Aloha Hawaii. It’s Test time yet again, and time for New Zealand to become the main event of the cricketing summer. It’s, hot, hot, hot in Perth, 40-plus predicted for most of the match, and while Optus Stadium may presently sporting a greenish tinge as it did last year, it should offer bounce and bake and open up as this match progresses. Australia will field the same XI that pulverised Pakistan twice in a row, but Trent Boult looks to be missing for New Zealand through injury. More on line-ups as they come through. The No.2-ranked Kiwis are supposed to give Australia a run for their money in this three-match series. The formbook suggests New Zealand might even win. But precedent is against them: we’ve had 22 Tests on these shores since the Kiwis last won a Test match in Australia. That was at the Waca way back in 1985, the year Mental As Anything unleashed Live It Up on the expectant masses (RIP Andrew ‘Greedy’ Smith). It’s not crazy to imagine that New Zealand can compete on this tour but they’ll have to beat history as well as Australia. Sam Perry has already had his thoughts on this, as did I a few days ago.

Related: Tim Paine delivers as Australia captain despite shadow cast by Steve Smith | Sam Perry

Related: Hopes are again high but history says New Zealand will choke in Australia | Geoff Lemon

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Australia v New Zealand: first Test, day two – live!

December 12, 2019, 9:37 pm
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98th over: Australia 285-4 (Labuschagne 132, Head 35) Wagner tries a short ball but goes way down leg side. He’s probably pretty sore and tired after yesterday, bowled three long spells in the heat. Then he has a slip from the hand while trying to bowl a slower ball and Labuschagne hits the full toss straight down the ground for four.

97th over: Australia 279-4 (Labuschagne 127, Head 34) So there’s a fire burning behind Optus Stadium now. That’s good. That’s great. Everything is fine in Australia in summer, no problems here at all. It looks a fairly minor fire but there’s a big plume of smoke coming off it. Southee bowls too full to Marnus, who drives it dead straight down the ground for four. That’s classy. Then Head gets width and carves it behind point, his absolute pet shot. Runs flowing, 11 from the over. Well and truly Australia’s morning.

96th over: Australia 268-4 (Labuschagne 121, Head 29) Wagner coming in to Labuschagne, and bowls a snorter! Terrific short ball, up at the throat and Marnus coming forward is startled by it, flinching and getting gloves up to it. If NZ had a bat-pad on the off side then that would have been a simple catch. Not to be. Another short ball doesn’t get up and Labuschagne pulls uncertainly for a slow single. Head flicks off his pads, but Latham at a deep bat pad on the leg side makes a fine stop.

95th over: Australia 267-4 (Labuschagne 120, Head 29) Southee gives up a pie to Head, glanced through fine leg for four. But everything outside off has Head looking a little shaky, as is his wont, and he gets a thick leading edge at one stage towards point.

94th over: Australia 263-4 (Labuschagne 120, Head 25) A leg gully in for Labuschagne now, a la Smith yesterday, though Marnus plays far more off-side than Smith. For all the talk of their similarities it’s much more in terms of mannerism than in terms of actual technique or scoring. New Zealand tried to get Marnus with a wide line outside off yesterday, drawing him into a nick, and he nearly did nick on a few occasions. Today he stabs a single to that leg gully region, then Wagner tries a couple of short balls to Head and is nearly rewarded with a glove behind.

93rd over: Australia 261-4 (Labuschagne 119, Head 24) Nice shape for Southee again, under hot sun on this green-tinged pitch. The ball stayed in great nick yesterday, always giving the bowlers a little. It’s Southee rather than Wagner who reaches first for the bouncer, but Marnus hooks off his eyebrows for a single. He looks very comfortable playing that shot, it’s one of his strengths. Southee comes around the wicket to the left-handed Head, angling and then swinging the ball in sharply at off stump, close to the ball that bowled Wade last night. Head plays it though, and blocks it. Then forces away three runs through point. Labuschagne likes the intent and cover drives for four! Too full and dealt with. Then drives another run wide of mid-on.

92nd over: Australia 252-4 (Labuschagne 113, Head 21) Lockie Ferguson is down by the side of the field in a moon boot. It does make you wonder about the endless debate around injury substitutes in Test matches, rather than just concussion subs. But it’s such a complicated issue that it never seems to get anywhere. Wagner starts his bowling day by going full, not going to waste the new ball. Head drives a single, Marnus steers three runs behind point.

91st over: Australia 248-4 (Labuschagne 110, Head 20) Southee kicks off with a maiden. The ball is swinging for him, but he’s just a bit wide of the off stump to Marnus, who leaves most of the over alone.

Strewth, cobbers. Time for another fair dinkum true blue session of dinky-di Test cricket from rolled gold Perth Stadium. Hear the serried banks of sandgropers chanting “Labuschagne! Labuschagne!” Are sandgropers the Western Australian ones? I can never remember. It sounds fairly indecent in any case. Keep that behaviour off our beaches. Never mind. They’re Labuschagne freaks over there. Everyone is. The whole country has converted. Peeling off three tons on the trot will do that. Bradman did it a couple of times, Fingleton four. That’s it for Australians. Alan Melville and Rahul Dravid also did four, and Everton Weekes did five. Watch this space.

As for today though, he’s going to try to turn a ton into a big ton. Did it in Brisbane, could go again here. New Zealand bowled really well yesterday though. Swing most of the day. Bowled the short ball well when the day wore on. Got a new ball late last night. They’re a bowler down though, Ferguson will not bowl again. Huge blow, huge workload ahead for the rest. Lucky they have the all-rounder de Grandhomme, but he’s coming off an injury break as well.

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Australia v New Zealand: first Test, day three – live!

December 13, 2019, 9:46 pm
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41st over: New Zealand 138-6 (Taylor 77, de Grandhomme 9) Indeed, here’s the first bowling change already. Labuschagne’s leg-breaks will be the next on the menu. Jeet Raval’s part-time stuff got substantial turn yesterday. Marnus is more of a skiddy bowler, faster through the air and with more topspin. He drags down first ball and Taylor pulls two runs, denied two more by a good diving save behind square. Taylor cuts a run next ball. I wonder how long de Grandhomme can restrain himself from trying to put Labuschagne in the stands. He drives a single along the ground first up. Taylor cuts twice and should have eight runs really, but finds backward point both times.

40th over: New Zealand 134-6 (Taylor 74, de Grandhomme 8) Cummins carries on with the short-pitched attack to Taylor, too much angle on these bouncers from the right-armer which go across Taylor and almost outside leg stump. Tim Paine is going as far towards a Douglas Jardine field as the rules allow: two in the deep behind square leg, then three just in front, one next to the batsman for the edge off the pad, one at regulation square for the top edge, and one on the rope for the full-blooded pull. Regardless, Taylor keeps playing the shot. Not the smartest strategy given Australia’s two premier quicks will need a break soon. But he gets a single to ground, then de Grandhomme slams a full ball past the bowler in the air for four.

39th over: New Zealand 129-6 (Taylor 73, de Grandhomme 4) Another single immediately for de Grandhomme from Starc, eased behind point, then Taylor is back on strike. He hasn’t faced much, hasn’t scored much, and hasn’t looked comfortable, but he is still New Zealand’s main hope. Has to just get through this short barrage. It is a barrage though, and Taylor gloves the ball just in front of slip! Fast from Starc, hitting Taylor’s fingers on the bat handle and just dying before reaching Smith in the cordon! Good bowling. Taylor looks a little desperate as he takes on a pull shot next ball and meets fresh air, again looking every chance to glove down the leg side. Third time is also lucky, as he finally gets a pull shot out of the middle, Starc’s bouncer not getting up above chest high, and Taylor clobbers four behind square. Then he bails out of another against a great short ball that zings over his front shoulder on its angle across him. Yet another pull shot finishes the over, this one mistime and limping away in the air for a fortunate run.

38th over: New Zealand 123-6 (Taylor 68, de Grandhomme 3) New Zealand’s next hope is Colin de Grandhomme, and Mitch Santner in next just made his first Test hundred the other week against England. Tough task for them up against Cummins and Starc though. The new batsman gets started with a drive through cover for three. He tends to like to get on with things.

Another good bit of bowling from Cummins! He’s been landing the ball on a perfect length often today, and moving it into the right-handed batsmen. This time Watling is anticipating that inward movement, pushing to cover it, and the ball goes a bit the other way. Suddenly his hands are outside the line of his body and he’s getting a thick inside edge back onto his stumps! Huge wicket, Watling can bat some seriously long hours in Test cricket.

37th over: New Zealand 119-5 (Taylor 68, Watling 2) Starc bowling with a bat-pad catcher on both sides of the wicket now, so the bowler has to do the fielding himself when Taylor pushes a run towards mid-on. Watling plays more decisively, a handsome off-drive for two as Starc pitches up. Wade doing the fielding. He might be called upon with the ball again today, with Australia short of seam options. Starc full again to Watling, with the short leg removed. There’s some excitement behind the wicket as Watling misses his next drive, but the sound was bat hitting turf, missing ball by a distance.

36th over: New Zealand 116-5 (Taylor 67, Watling 6) Cummins bowls a beauty. One ball after Watling drives a full ball down the ground for four, Cummins gets a ball to hit a crack, seam in at the batsman, and keep low. The pitch is starting to break up on this third day, with cracking along the length of the wicket in true Perth style. Hard not to love this new stadium’s surface.

35th over: New Zealand 112-5 (Taylor 67, Watling 2) Taylor is starting rusty this morning. Short down leg side again from Starc, and Taylor wafts a pull that doesn’t threaten much except a glove to the keeper. Starc has a leg gully and a long leg behind square, then a short square leg and a deep square leg in front of the line. Only two fielders allowed behind square leg, as per the old Bodyline amended rules.

All of that planning, then New Zealand nearly hand over a wicket with a run-out. Paine has made a mess of that. So did Taylor. He should have run himself out last night while batting with Williamson, and this time he burns Watling. Taylor knocks away a run to point, turns for the second, Watling honours the call, then Taylor bails out and turns back. Watling has to do the same, at the striker’s end. He’s miles out. He’s gone. Lyon throws in. And then Paine, having come up to the stumps, fumbles the take. I think he was distracted by Labuschagne, who had run in from short leg to the stumps to try to take the ball as well. Between the two of them they mess up a straightforward chance, and Watling survives. He adds a single next ball like none of that ever happened.

34th over: New Zealand 110-5 (Taylor 66, Watling 1) Pat Cummins starts from the other end, and his first ball is beautifully on the money. A hint of movement, snaking in at the off stump, making Watling defend. His second, a similar line but seaming in from a slightly shorter length, taking a small nick from Watling’s inside edge before thudding into the pad. Too high to prompt an appeal. Fuller next ball and Watling digs at it. A maiden.

33rd over: New Zealand 110-5 (Taylor 66, Watling 1) We’re away! Watling to face the first ball, Starc bowling it. A low full toss that Watling blocks, then a ball on his pads that the Kiwi keeper can knock away to get off the mark. Taylor comes on strike and immediately Starc is bouncing him. Ricky Ponting on the TV is analysing vision from last night, saying that Taylor was least assured against the short ball. Took his eyes off it, often had his feet off the ground. That will likely be the mode of attack today then, and it is, though Starc bowls too much down the leg side.

Today is International Ross Taylor Day. He’s the great hope for New Zealand to stay in this contest. New Zealand are five wickets down already, but both teams are short a bowler, with Josh Hazlewood doing his hamstring last night and Lockie Ferguson his calf. So a lot rides on Taylor’s innings. If he can bat through the first wave of attack from Pat Cummins and Mitchell Starc, then Australia won’t have a huge amount in the way of reserves. It will come down to a spin focus with Nathan Lyon and the part-timer Marnus Labuschagne, though Lyon should get some bounce and turn out of this surface and could be the key bowler in his own right.

But Taylor looked a million bucks last night after some early jitters between the wickets. He clouted his way to 66 as the wickets fell at the other end. He made 290 last time he played a Test in Perth, across the river at the Waca, and this year he’s been in some of the best form of his life.

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Australia v New Zealand: first Test, day four – live!

December 14, 2019, 9:47 pm
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68th over: Australia 211-8 (Starc 18, Lyon 0) Well, Starc has his go at Southee with the ball as well as verbally now, slamming a shot back that hits the bowler in his follow-through. Hit Southee on the leg but it probably saved four runs, so he may not be too unhappy. Starc slams another one, he’s really lining up the fielders at the moment, and cover can only make a half stop as that ball whistled towards him. One run from the spillover, the only score from the set.

67th over: Australia 210-8 (Starc 17, Lyon 0) Wagner to Starc makes it easy for him first up, a full toss that Starc can swing down the ground for four. Wagner gets back to his usual length, but Starc shows his teammates how it’s done and powers a pull shot away for another! Then a glance off the pads for one, in the air but safe behind square, and Lyon uses his thigh pad in lieu of a bat to deflect a ball to the fine leg fence. “Has he played a shot?” asks Wagner incredulously of Umpire Lalalalallong. Starc meanwhile at the non-striker’s end is in the umpire’s ear complaining about Tim Southee for something or other.

66th over: Australia 197-8 (Starc 8, Lyon 0) Change in the bowling, Tim Southee for the first time today. Starc only knows one way, so he drives Southee aerially straight down the ground for a one-bounce four.

65th over: Australia 192-8 (Starc 3, Lyon 0) Vision from the dressing room shows Josh Hazlewood padded up, so he will bat despite his hamstring twinge. Australia must want to go as late in the day as possible, even if that only means a couple more overs. JH has played a few long supporting innings in his time. Starc versus Wagner is only going to have one approach, lots of short stuff with two bat-pads either side of the wicket, a yorker slipped in amongst it to test him, and eventually an attempted pull shot that limps away for a triplet of runs.

64th over: Australia 189-8 (Starc 0, Lyon 0) Nathan Lyon comes out to join Mitchell Starc, and survives the last ball of de Grandhomme’s over.

Another catch off the pull shot! After all that time being tenderised by Wagner, facing de Grandhomme must have felt like a holiday. Wade nails a cover drive for four, carves a wider ball over backward point off the top edge for another, then goes to the well once too often when he gets a half-short ball and spins around for a slap at it. Raval is two-third of the way to the fence and he catches the ball low down while running in. A strange old dismissal, to refuse the shot against Wagner so assiduously and then play it near the end of an already productive over against someone else.

63rd over: Australia 180-7 (Wade 9) Wade is setting up so defensively in his mindset that when Wagner slips and bowls him a high full toss, Wade can only pat it back to the bowler. Wagner tries a knuckle ball and Wade ducks and lets it hit him on the thigh. No chance of a left-hander being lbw to a left-armer bowling around the wicket, everything is pitching well outside leg stump. But finally Wagner pitches up and Wade plays a shot, a single away behind square. That brings Cummins on strike, and probably Wagner doesn’t adjust his line to the right-hander well enough, but it gets him a wicket. Short down the leg side and Cummins gloves his attempted glance through to the keeper. Must be a solid blow to the hand because he’s looking a bit ginger with his right hand as he comes off.

62nd over: Australia 179-6 (Wade 8, Cummins 13) But while Wade is pursuing his austerity project, Cummins does the scoring at the other end. First he glances de Grandhomme to the fine leg fence, then cuts him through cover for four more! Two bad balls from Colin, who must be aching and creaking after a big bowling workload through the last four days. He’s bowled on each of them.

61st over: Australia 171-6 (Wade 8, Cummins 5) The meat-tenderiser approach continues, Wagner bowling short and Wade taking the hits rather than using the bat. Ricky Ponting is hopping into him on the telly, asking why he isn’t trying to score from these short balls to protect his body. Which seems a touch unfair: once you’ve watched four or five teammates get out doing exactly that, it’s a reasonable conclusion that you should stop playing cross-bat shots.

60th over: Australia 171-6 (Wade 8, Cummins 5) A good battle shaping between Cummins and de Grandhomme. First ball, hits the pad and the bowler appeals but there’s an inside edge. Second ball, looking for the pads again and Cummins drives gloriously through wide mid-on for two! Just timing, that is a top quality shot, though it gets hauled back. Third ball, squares him up and beats the outside edge.

59th over: Australia 169-6 (Wade 8, Cummins 3) Wagner to Wade, who is hit on the glove and that hurts! Wade is a tough character, he stood there and took half a dozen hits on the body last night when the Kiwis were bouncing him and he wanted to preserve his wicket. But this ball has him hopping and yelping reflexively as it crashes into his hand, probably the thumb by the look of things. Wagner is bowling left-arm around the wicket to the left-hander, into the body, and Wade wears another one on the body this morning rather than pulling. A lot of wickets fell to the short ball last night, so he’s just trying to be disciplined. He’s wearing a small forearm guard, covering about half the forearm, and he’s hit there and then around the hip. It’s a maiden, aggressive stuff from Wagner.

58th over: Australia 169-6 (Wade 8, Cummins 3) It’s Colin de Grandhomme to start the day with the ball at medium pace. Pat Cummins to face. The over is accurate, on or around the off stump aside from the last ball, that Cummins can glance fine for two runs.

Australia lead by 419.

Day four! And haven’t we had a couple of eventful evening sessions. The Kiwis were knocked over by Australia on the second night of this match, then Australia crashed on the third. The difference is that by that point, Australia were well ahead in the match, so they’re not in much trouble as a result. But it was another top-order collapse, and another low score for Steve Smith.

Australia will resume batting this afternoon six wickets down for 167, which sounds bad except they had a 250-run lead on the first innings. So they’re actually 417 ahead already, and the world record run chase is 418, so safe to say New Zealand won’t be running down whatever the nominal target ends up being.

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Australia v New Zealand: Boxing Day Test, day one – as it happened

December 25, 2019, 11:27 pm
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And here’s the match report:

Related: Steve Smith in the runs again in gripping opening to Boxing Day Test

If your appetite for Boxing Day cricket has yet to be sated, another Test match is about to get underway - South Africa v England at Centurion. Follow all of that right here:

Related: South Africa v England: first Test, day one – live!

A superb day of Test cricket ends with Australia in the box seat, but their presence there owes as much to luck as it does skill after New Zealand probed without just reward in front of 80,000 at the MCG.

After winning the toss and inviting Australia to bat first in overcast conditions, New Zealand began perfectly, Trent Boult castling Joe Burns (0) with the fourth delivery of the match. Thereafter David Warner (43) grew into his innings before a beauty from Neil Wagner was rewarded by an even better catch from Tim Southee at second slip.

Australia take the honours after an absorbing day of Test cricket.

90th over: Australia 257-4 (Smith 77, Head 25) The day ends exactly as it deserved to, with New Zealand engineering an edge that fails to go to hand and runs away for four. This time it was Southee to Head, but it has happened on numerous occasions today with most combinations of bowlers and batters.

89th over: Australia 252-4 (Smith 76, Head 21) After a couple of probing overs Boult begins his final shift of the day by allowing Head some width to free his arms and spank a four through point. There’s been a hollowness to proceedings since the second new ball, New Zealand tired and weatherbeaten after a day of near misses and lacking the raw pace to rattle Australia late on.

88th over: Australia 248-4 (Smith 76, Head 17) Southee continues, now bowling to a field set for a cross-seam delivery that sticks in the pitch, more than a conventional new ball dismissal. Despite the plan, Southee does find the outside edge of Smith’s bat as Plan A might have designed, but the batsman’s hands were so soft the ball died well short of the cordon. Maiden.

87th over: Australia 248-4 (Smith 76, Head 17) A bit more nibble from Boult this over but Head is focussed enough to deal with it.

86th over: Australia 246-4 (Smith 76, Head 15) A very dishearteningly dull over from Southee to Smith features five nondescript dots followed by a contemptuous straight-drive for four. New Zealand are running out of puff towards the end of a day full of toil.

85th over: Australia 242-4 (Smith 72, Head 15) Boult continues, but the lack of swing on offer means his line is now just leaking across the right-handed Smith outside off stump rather than tailing back into the batsman and inducing doubt. Boult realigns by bowling from around the wicket, but that simply allows Smith to milk a single off his pads. Head, now just about in, clips a couple of his pads when he is invited to bat.

Can’t imagine it will be 32 years until the next trans-Tasman Boxing Day Test.

Today's crowd at the @MCG is 80,473#AUSvNZpic.twitter.com/SwLWErz16e

84th over: Australia 239-4 (Smith 71, Head 13) Neither Boult nor Southee have bowled with menace since the change of balls. A TV graphic indicates the amount of swing with this new ball is 1.4 (of what unit I’m not sure) compared to 2.1 from earlier in the day. Even accounting for numberwang that indicates a less threatening delivery. Australia are now coasting to the close of play.

83rd over: Australia 237-4 (Smith 71, Head 11) Another over dominated by a crisply struck four from an Australian batsman playing in the V, this time Steve Smith drilling Trent Boult through long-off. The new ball still not doing what New Zealand want it to.

82nd over: Australia 233-4 (Smith 67, Head 11) Southee shares the new ball but in his quest for swing he over-pitches and Head presents the full face of the bat and collects four of the crispest runs. Southee adjust his length, and drags his line a touch wider, Head follows accordingly for a regulation play-and-miss from a right-arm over bowler to a left-hand batter.

The new ball has yet to misbehave greatly either in the air or off the pitch.

81st over: Australia 229-4 (Smith 67, Head 7) Trent Boult has the new nut in his hand but 15 overs already in his legs today. He delivers four balls that keep Travis Head honest before a sharp single brings Steve Smith on strike. The final two deliveries are too wide to entice the batsman into a stroke. New Zealand need at least one more wicket today to even the ledger. They deserve at least one more.

The new ball is taken immediately.

NEW BALL TIME! Which one are you picking?

Boult to take it for us...BIG MOMENT!

CARD | https://t.co/N6jpmeRPFE#AUSvNZ#cricketnationpic.twitter.com/D9CAe1kONa

80th over: Australia 228-4 (Smith 67, Head 6) Santner’s back for a token over before the new ball will be taken. How he has been used today by Williamson has been notable; the Kiwi skipper has shown little faith. Santner shows what he might have been missing by beating Smith with an unplayable delivery, the ball arcing in from around the wicket, pitching on leg stump, turning and bouncing prodigiously and beating the outside edge. Unfortunately he follows it up with a rank long-hop.

79th over: Australia 223-4 (Smith 67, Head 2) Travis Head doubles his score and does well enough riding an over of Neil Wagner deliveries arrowed at his ribcage.

78th over: Australia 222-4 (Smith 67, Head 1) Travis Head gets off the mark with a single from his 13th delivery in a de Grandhomme over that will not live long in the memory. The MCG now has that late afternoon murmur about it, although without the raucous noise of beer snakes being built and phonebooks being shredded in the now defunct Bay 13.

77th over: Australia 220-4 (Smith 66, Head 0) New Zealand resume their bodyline-lite approach to Smith and Wagner earns a bruise, if not a wicket, with the method when he gets one to climb on the batsman and strike him towards the armpit during an awkward evasive manoeuvre.

Meanwhile over on Channel Seven, the host broadcaster has cut to an AFL footballer for the second time in the day. Ping Sam Perry.

76th over: Australia 219-4 (Smith 65, Head 0) Head continues to be watchful at the start of his innings, allowing CdG’s hooping in-swingers to pass well outside his off stump. The South Australian has faced ten deliveries now without scoring.

75th over: Australia 218-4 (Smith 64, Head 0) Wagner’s radar is off this over and he allows Head a couple of sighters by hurling down leg-side bumpers after Smith dinks a single to keep the scoreboard operators in the game.

74th over: Australia 217-4 (Smith 63, Head 0) That is the least de Grandhomme has deserved for a day-long demonstration of old-school swing bowling. And credit is due again to the MCG groundstaff for preparing a surface that has allowed the ball to move in the air and off the seam. Wade just beat his average, but he used up a lot of lives along the way.

Another edge, and guess what, four more runs to Australia. Wade this time slashing hard outside off and inside-edging to fine-leg. But he’s gone the next ball! De Grandhomme bowling the same teasing line, inviting another drive, this time he finds the outside edge, and this time it carries behind the wicket where Watling completes the simple dismissal. C-D-G, he’s dynamite!

73rd over: Australia 212-3 (Smith 63, Wade 34) Santner’s spell is again curtailed before the bowler might have expected it to be, meaning Wagner is back for his 18th over of the day. It begins with Smith driving neatly for three before Wade earns four with a guided thick edge that loops agonisingly over Taylor at first slip. Without sounding like a broken record, how have New Zealand only taken three wickets today?

72nd over: Australia 202-3 (Smith 60, Wade 27) Wade plays and misses to CdG outside off to open the 72nd over of the day. I hope someone has kept a tally of all the times the bowlers have beaten the bat today for scant reward. Wade responds to CdG’s in-swing by advancing down the pitch and playing a defensive prod about two feet outside off stump. CdG then returns fire by drawing the drive and inducing a genuine edge that falls short of first slip! How unlucky have New Zealand been today!?

71st over: Australia 202-3 (Smith 60, Wade 27) Tighter from Santner, conceding just the one run. No alarms and no surprises for Australia though.

70th over: Australia 201-3 (Smith 60, Wade 26) Eeh, the pre-tea CdG turns up after a couple of nothing overs to send down a pair of massive hooping in-swingers from around the wicket that Wade struggles to deal with. But deal with them he does, and a single keeps the scoreboard ticking over.

69th over: Australia 200-3 (Smith 60, Wade 25) Speaking of Santner, Williamson has belatedly turned to his left-arm spinner for just his fifth over of the day in what is his fourth spell. That’s partly a consequence of Australia targeting New Zealand’s premier slow bowler, and again both batsmen rotate the strike with ease while Wade uses his feet to drive powerfully through the off-side.

68th over: Australia 194-3 (Smith 58, Wade 21) CdG has been neither as tight nor as threatening since tea, looking more like a dibbly dobbler fill-in than the medium-pace swing king of earlier in the day. Wade doesn’t mind, leaning back to carve three runs through the covers.

67th over: Australia 190-3 (Smith 57, Wade 18) Boult almost cleaves Wade at his ankles but the batsman does well to dig out a searing yorker, despite ending up on the turf. He earns one for this troubles to add to a nicely clipped couple earlier on in the over.

Since Labuschagne’s dismissal Australia have lost their impetus. In other matches it might be possible to describe the game as drifting, but this is simply the latest engrossing phase of play in an even contest between bat and ball full of subtle changes of approach from both sides. Perhaps the most significant point of note (besides Australia’s good fortune) is New Zealand’s reluctance to bowl Santner. There is turn and bounce on offer but he has so far not been trusted to exploit it.

66th over: Australia 187-3 (Smith 57, Wade 15) The star of the middle session - Colin de Grandhomme - is back into the attack as New Zealand begin their planning for the second new ball. It’s a nondescript over that goes for three.

This is a lovely clip that highlights how much better the playing conditions have been today at the MCG compared to last year. It’s also a neat example of how welcome an addition Trent Copeland is to TV Commentary; unfussy, informative and yet to be reversed into by the banter bus.

"Isn't that remarkable?"@copes9 shows us the difference between last year's MCG pitch and this one #AUSvNZpic.twitter.com/IPCGdgKIY3

65th over: Australia 184-3 (Smith 56, Wade 13) Bowling change from the Members’ End with Trent Boult replacing Neil Wagner. He beats Smith with a hooping in-swinger but alas for the Kiwis it’s a familiar pattern, instead of the clattering of stumps or a feather to the keeper it’s a thigh-pad deflection to fine-leg for four.

64th over: Australia 180-3 (Smith 56, Wade 13) After 19 deliveries without a run off the bat Steve Smith controls a pull down to backward square-leg for a single. Southee then induces a flash and a miss from Wade outside his off stump, another let-off in a day of let-offs for Australia’s batsmen.

63rd over: Australia 179-3 (Smith 55, Wade 13) More Wagner v Wade, but this over is tame by comparison. Another maiden, the third in a row for New Zealand.

62nd over: Australia 179-3 (Smith 55, Wade 13) Southee bowls a maiden to Smith from around the wicket.

Jason Alf would like to wish Matthew Wade a happy birthday. It is, after all, the Tasmanian’s 32nd birthday. In his honour, here’s some of his best work.

61st over: Australia 179-3 (Smith 55, Wade 13) The latest instalment of Wagner v Wade begins with another moral victory for the bowler, this time beating the batsman’s edge with a conventional away swinger, catching Wade leaden-footed awaiting the bumper. And it ends with a moral victory for the bowler, Wade ducking into the eventual bouncer, the ball ricocheting away for four down to fine-leg. Australia are now in a very strong position in this match but they have benefited from an awful lot of good fortune in the process.

60th over: Australia 175-3 (Smith 55, Wade 13) Southee hasn’t bowled much at Wade since tea but he begins the 60th over by beating the left-hander’s outside edge from around the wicket with an absolute jaffa, then follows it up by finding a thick edge that slithers wide of the diving gully. The Tasmanian responds by punching a drive worth two runs that’s hit so straight it practically nutmegs the umpire.

59th over: Australia 170-3 (Smith 55, Wade 8) More Wagner v Wade, and it’s an even contest this over. The bowler has his hands on his head when an inside-edge dies just in front of leg-gully but the batsman gets off strike when he reads a slower ball and drives it just wide of mid-off.

Meanwhile, another vote for cherries. I was around the Victoria/NSW border recently and they were in uncommonly short supply. Perhaps why I forgot to include them initially.

@JPHowcroft Best, most quintessential Christmas fruit? Cherries by a distance.

58th over: Australia 169-3 (Smith 55, Wade 7) New Zealand have toiled manfully all day but Southee is starting to show signs of tiring. His pace has dipped into the 120s-kph and he’s floating the ball up to Smith rather than fizzing it in his direction. It still manages to cause the Australian problems though, from ball four the latest in a long long line of thick edges manages to scuttle to the third-man boundary and not into the mitts of a Kiwi fielder.

57th over: Australia 165-3 (Smith 51, Wade 7) Wagner continues his bouncer barrage, first at Smith, who eventually rotates strike with a single, then at Wade. The Australian keeper still looks uncertain against the Kiwi enforcer, standing his ground and accepting what’s being hurled at him, rather than looking to counterattack or adjust his stance to force Wagner to rethink his plans. The pitch isn’t offering a great deal at this stage so the over passes without much incident.

According to this piece from a few years ago, the answer to the fruity teaser during the tea interval is mangoes and cherries.

Related: How to do an Australian Christmas

56th over: Australia 164-3 (Smith 50, Wade 7) Tim Southee returns for his 12th over of the day to open the final session of play. Steve Smith is delighted with New Zealand’s decision. He leaves a couple of gentle sighters outside off then leans elegantly into a straight drive for four to move to his highest Test score this summer. Southee almost gets his revenge next ball but the latest in a series of thick outside edges bounces just short and wide of the diving gully and skips away to the rope. A sharp single brings up Smith’s first half-century in a career-threatening* three Tests.

*Not career-threatening.

A 35-over final session coming up, so we’ll likely bleed into the additional half-hour, taking us through to a 6pm-ish close of play.

During the tea interval I fisted an unattractive amount of raspberries into the big hole in my face. My in-laws live near a berry farm so raspberries are both cheap and plentiful. It got me thinking, are they the quintessential Christmas fruit? Or is it the passion fruit crowning the pav? Or the seasonal mango? Or something else?

“I’m not sure you’ll receive Hawaii billeting,” emails Rowan Sweeney, “but word on the street is Geoff Lemon is counting numbers and #OBOspill is trending...”. Rowan, Geoff has my unconditional support, and any rumours about apparatchiks conducting internal polls are entirely false.

“Any stats on Wade’s test average as specialist batsman v time as a keeper/batsman?” asks Ian Loiterton, from his wife’s phone; a detail that prompts all sorts of further enquiries. Well Ian, Wade averages 28.58 as the designated keeper, and 36.23 without the gloves.

Another engrossing session of cricket, one in which Australia threatened to take a stranglehold on the game, but thanks to Colin de Grandhomme they didn’t. The home side are now in the box seat but with New Zealand continuing to create chances Australia cannot rest on their laurels. Looking forward to the resumption of Wagner v Wade after the break.

55th over: Australia 155-3 (Smith 41, Wade 7) The final over before tea is Wagner v Wade round II. The Kiwi strikes a blow second ball, making the ball seam in and collide with the Australian’s ribcage. Two deliveries later the ball whistles past Wade’s off stump. Then the following delivery Wade looks as though he’s edged between keeper and slip but nobody dives for the catch and Australia pick up four. The runs are credited to the batsman, so that has to go down as an awful missed opportunity for New Zealand, but a review probably would have saved the batsman.

Wade facing Wagner #AUSvsNZpic.twitter.com/A3JDz12HtJ

54th over: Australia 151-3 (Smith 41, Wade 3) CdG’s magnificent spell is ended and Mitchell Santner is back on to see if he can survive longer than one or two overs this time. He is unthreatening in the first over of his third spell but avoids the carnage that saw him removed swiftly from the attack an hour or so ago.

53rd over: Australia 149-3 (Smith 40, Wade 2) Matthew Wade’s arrival at the crease meant that Neil Wagner’s return to the attack wasn’t going to be far behind. The rutting stags resumed their duel this over with Wagner bowling bouncer after bouncer followed by stare after stare, and Wade responding with a narrow-eyed look that signalled “is that all you’ve got big man?”.

The best part of 80,000 are now packed into the G.

There's no such thing as a bad view at the 'G on Boxing Day #MyMCG#AUSvNZpic.twitter.com/2lrGQrYK8o

52nd over: Australia 149-3 (Smith 40, Wade 2) Smith is just working the ball around the MCG now as the tea break approaches, and in the process he ascends to tenth in the list of all-time Australian Test run-makers. How high up this list will he eventually get?

Most Test runs for Australia:

13,378 - RT Ponting
11,174 – AR Border
10,927 – SR Waugh
8643 - MJ Clarke
8625 – ML Hayden
8029 – ME Waugh
7696 – JL Langer
7525 – MA Taylor
7422 – DC Boon
7111 – SPD SMITH*
7110 – GS Chappell#AUSvNZ

51st over: Australia 147-3 (Smith 39, Wade 1) CdG’s spell, by the way, is eight overs 1-15. Heck of an effort. Boult continues his work from the other end but he can’t repeat the trick.

50th over: Australia 144-3 (Smith 37, Wade 0) There’ll be plenty of analysis of that Labuschagne dismissal. Is it a technical glitch, or was it just bad luck?

Apologies for the rhetorical ScoMo-ism in the previous over. How good would it be if I was billeted somewhere in Hawaii as punishment?

Out of nowhere Labuschagne is out! That luck I was talking about - well, it’s just run out for Australia’s no.3. CdG was doing CdG things in a tight over and from the fifth delivery probing outside off Labuschagne tried to leave but didn’t raise his arms sufficiently, allowing the ball to clip his elbow and ricochet onto his stumps. Huge and unexpected moment in this game.

Labuschagne's attempted leave goes off his elbow and back onto the stumps!

Won't see that too often... #AUSvNZpic.twitter.com/i2hxumJQI6

49th over: Australia 144-2 (Labuschagne 63, Smith 37) Boult’s still getting the ball to curve in the air, and in so doing trouble Labuschagne. But after a legbye rotates strike he drops short to Smith who swivels, and with full control, pulls for four.

Apropos of nothing, how good are the plethora of Kiwi voices (including Taika Waititi) in the latest series of Rick and Morty?

48th over: Australia 139-2 (Labuschagne 63, Smith 33) Not for the first time this session an Australian mishit falls safely, this time a Smith checked drive fails to reach the catching midwicket after the batsman fails to read a delivery that sticks in the pitch. That is the only moment of note in a maiden over.

47th over: Australia 139-2 (Labuschagne 63, Smith 33) Boult continues to bend his back but Smith is now into his groove, shifting his weight forward and back in that bullet time manner of his. He eases two, then a single, through the off-side, allowing Labuschagne to tuck into a rare long hop and clack it behind point for four. This match is quickly getting away from New Zealand.

Marnus becomes the 15th Aussie to score five consecutive Test innings of 50+. These 15 have shared 22 different occurrences.

46th over: Australia 132-2 (Labuschagne 59, Smith 30) The luck is all going Australia’s way at the moment. New Zealand are probing but LBW appeals are not being upheld and edges are not going to hand. The latest example is CdG forcing a genuine edge from Labuschagne but it flies through the vacant second slip region at regulation height and away to safety.

I unironically love Boney M.

Marnus is so good, I think it’s time for a national conversation about correctly pronouncing his name. National ad campaign, mail out instructions, school visits, etc.

La La Labuschagne
Straya's greatest run ma-chagne#AUSvNZpic.twitter.com/oORnhbapYv

45th over: Australia 125-2 (Labuschagne 53, Smith 29) Boult is still finding that pleasing arc through the air (can any scientists out there explain why the human eye is drawn to those elegant parabolas?) and he uses it to get inside Labuschagne’s defence and crunch into his front pad. A hearty appeal follows but Marais Erasmus continues his mime of an immovable water buffalo chewing the cud. Boult’s ire is further raised the following delivery when Labuschagne reaches his fifth consecutive score of 50+ with a thick edge that runs along the ground through fourth slip all the way to the third-man fence.

In his twentieth innings, Marnus now becomes a batsman with an official average. He's closing in on Smith as the second best ever. Currently 60.84. #AUSvNZ

44th over: Australia 121-2 (Labuschagne 49, Smith 29) CdG manages to find a bit of movement off the pitch and square Steve Smith up, drawing a leading edge that is lucky to squirt through the gully region. The big man is doing a Matthew Hoggard-like job for New Zealand, getting through ten overs of hard work, swinging the ball away from the right-handers, and going for just 23 runs.

43rd over: Australia 119-2 (Labuschagne 49, Smith 27) Australia’s contemptuous dismissal of Santner in the previous over from the Punt Road end has forced Williamson to return to Trent Boult. He finds a much tighter line and length, keeping Labuschagne to just a couple worked through the on-side.

42nd over: Australia 117-2 (Labuschagne 47, Smith 27) Just the single from an unremarkable CdG over.

Major questions for New Zealand to answer now. They’ve bowled with purpose for three hours - and those three hours will likely be the best of the match in which to bowl - but they’ve only taken two wickets. Australia, with their best two batsmen at the crease, will now feel as though they have almost 40 overs to take a firm grip on this contest.

41st over: Australia 116-2 (Labuschagne 46, Smith 27) Since lunch Australia have looked much busier at the crease and that’s starting to change the complexion of this match. With a much more positive mindset Labuschagne hoicks a Santner drag down for six then Smith guides the Kiwi spinner effortlessly over the sightscreen for six more! 17 in total from an over that will force a response from Williamson.

This has been a splendid day’s cricket so far, the bowlers finding some early swing then settling into some disciplined spells with creative fields, and in response the batsmen digging in and accepting the short-term requirement to focus on preserving their wickets. Halfway through the day the match situation is evenly poised.

The weather and pitch conditions have been worth keeping an eye on. When Kane Williamson inserted Australia this morning it was overcast and the strip had a greenish hue. Now the sky is cloudless, the ball is swinging less and the pitch is flattening out.

Now Adam’s taken his leave remember to retune your emails and tweets to the following addresses: @JPHowcroft and jonathan.howcroft.casual@theguardian.com.

Thank you very much Collo, my favourite trans-Tasman cricketing Adam since Adam Parore. The Kiwi keeper was famously disliked by his Australian opponents during his stint in international cricket, leading to a few famously vicious sledges and this terrifying, merciless dismissal from Brett Lee.

40th over: Australia 99-2 (Labuschagne 35, Smith 21) Labuschagne gets one into the onside to start CDG’s new over so he reverts straight back into that zone way outside the off-stump in order to do his bit in dotting them up. That’s drinks. On the basis that they haven’t lost a wicket since lunch, let’s call that hour for Australia. It’s not been the most convincing batting - Labuschagne was so nearly run out - and New Zealand have done plenty right with the ball, but they haven’t been able to get another breakthrough. To take you through to the end of what has been an excellent first day so far, I welcome JP Howcroft. Talk to you tomorrow!

39th over: Australia 98-2 (Labuschagne 34, Smith 21) Santner, who went wicketless in Perth, gets a second crack in this middle session. There was nothing wrong with his over after lunch, which prompted a big lbw shout against Labuschagne. Smith is the man on strike this time and he’s happy playing the waiting game until a wider full ball comes down at him, square driving it for his second all-run four. These two have now put on 38 from 107 balls.

38th over: Australia 94-2 (Labuschagne 34, Smith 17) CDG does his job here, whipping through a maiden at Labuschagne, all well outside the off-stump and prompting the lightsaber. Nothing wrong with showing a bit of patience. But much as it was when they picked up Warner, they have to capitalise and break this up.

37th over: Australia 94-2 (Labuschagne 34, Smith 17) Wagner to Smith with that silly point in again but he isn’t needed here, Smith pulling from the line of his body into the gap for an all-run four. One of the only grounds in the world where you can be guaranteed that will happen a few times in every Test played there.

A big crowd, drama, lots of noise, and an all-run four. All that you want on Boxing Day #AUSvNZ@cricbuzz

36th over: Australia 88-2 (Labuschagne 33, Smith 12) IS LABUSCHAGNE RUN OUT? Direct hit from Wagner at long leg! They go upstairs. NOT OUT! A great dive. It ended a de Grandhomme over where four were taken. Every time these two run they are looking for two and racing between the wickets. Assertive batting. It hasn’t been perfect - Labuschagne could have been run out by Williamson about 20 minutes ago - but that error hasn’t diminished their enthusiasm.

35th over: Australia 84-2 (Labuschagne 30, Smith 11) Smith defends, leaves then waits to clip past backward square, just placing wide enough to get off strike. That’ll frustrate New Zealand, who want Wagner on him at every opportunity. Shane Warne explains on TV that a lot of teams try on the short attack for a few overs before giving it away as they aren’t accurate enough. The contrast with the Black Caps, he says, is that they have Wagner who can do it all day. As is the custom on Boxing Day, the Mexican Wave is now doing around the ‘G as Labuschangne finishes the over with a well-struck pull, adding three.

34th over: Australia 80-2 (Labuschagne 27, Smith 10) Southee is not going to let Labuschagne play the way he wants through the legside, digging a channel outside the off-stump. The No3 is up to the task, letting it all go with the lightsaber leave he’s learned from the bloke up the other end - his idol. Not too dissimilar to the middle session at Perth on day one, they have dried the runs up again, Australia adding just 13 over the last 10 overs and one single across the last 27 balls. There’s a shout for lbw when Labuschagne leaves a ball to hit his thigh pad but it’s going way over the top. He’s now faced 101 balls for his 26. Back to back maidens.

33rd over: Australia 80-2 (Labuschagne 27, Smith 10) Wagner now has a full crack at Smith from the start, popping a silly point in to join the short leg. He might not be the most fashionable fast bowler but he’s changing the way the best player in the world goes about his business - an achievement in itself. He’s out of the way of a conventional bouncer then just keeping a ball of his hip into the turf. That’s well taken by Latham at short leg, not letting him off strike. He has a more unorthodox crack at the next ball aimed in that direction, making room to swivel/pull around the corner, middling it straight to the man at the 45. Top Test Match cricket.

32nd over: Australia 80-2 (Labuschagne 27, Smith 10) RUN OUT CHANCE! Smith BBQ’d Labuschagne, giving it the Dean Jones yes, no, sorry. Williamson had the chance from mid-off to ping the stumps down, which would have left the No3 short by metres. But it isn’t on target. Could he had thrown to Southee instead, with sufficient time to take the bails? Quite possibly. Either way, with a ton in each of his three Tests this summer - pretty much chanceless until the second dig at Perth, where he still make it to 50 - that could hurt later today. Southee is doing a lot right, giving neither batsmen anything from a nagging fourth stump line.

31st over: Australia 79-2 (Labuschagne 27, Smith 9) Men around the bat on the legside for Wagner v Labuschagne now too. He takes the pull on when it’s there to be played but picks out square leg. Wagner goes straight back at the woodwork, finding an inside edge. Just as it was in Perth, he’s right in the game. Maiden.

One of the many reasons why @stevesmith49 is the best in the world. He doesn’t just face the bowler when he’s at the striker’s end but does so every ball when he’s not on strike as well. Only turns around when the bowler starts his run #AUSvNZ@cricbuzz#Geniuspic.twitter.com/PbYql7XdYf

30th over: Australia 79-2 (Labuschagne 27, Smith 9) Southee continues to Labuschagne, who eases three through midwicket when he overpitches. Smith leaves and defends the remaining deliveries. Easier to bat now with the sun out.

Those crowd facts I gave you before have been added to by CA, noting that records only go back 40 years or something like that. In short: it is the eighth highest opening dayat Melbourne with more than 74,000 people in the ground.

29th over: Australia 76-2 (Labuschagne 24, Smith 9) Oh, the composer is back to replace Santner. Fair enough, I guess - mix it up after lunch to keep them thinking. It’s not the match-up they won’t though, Labuschagne down the business end rather than Smith. He deals with a predominantly full over from Warner around the wicket without concern, neatly pulling for one when the shorter ball arrives.

28th over: Australia 75-2 (Labuschagne 23, Smith 9) Shot. Smith gets a look at an overpitched Southee offering and makes no mistake, nailing it to the long-off rope. Southee was excellent with the new ball but why, I wonder, has Wagner been replaced? Surely this is the time to keep the pressure on? He does try to drop short to finis but there’s no menace, allowing the No4 to pull it for four without risk.

27th over: Australia 67-2 (Labuschagne 23, Smith 1) SO, SO CLOSE! Santner beat Labuschagne’s inside edge first ball. The appeal looked a good one but he was on the front foot with the ball still rising. Technology confirms this after Williamson elected, correctly, to hold onto their review. He’s in better shape using the depth of the crease for the rest of the over.

The players are back on the field. Yes, it’s true. Mitch Santner has the ball in his hand to roll down a few of his left-arm orthos. Good news this summer, I should add, is that they have finally changed the music the Australian team walk out to at the start of a session, shelving - at long last - Great Southern Land. Labuschagne is the man on strike. PLAY!

A lot of people are in. We’re told by Channel Seven that the attendance had now gone beyond the 73,812 who were in on Boxing Day in 1997. That’s the highest non-Ashes day one figure. Great day, that. SR Waugh and Ponting going after the second new ball before stumps. Punter’s ton the next morning. Good times.

“Whatever happens,” adds Yum, we have got The Maxim Gun Smiths, and they have not.” True. But today, at least for now, he just hasn’t earned it yet... baby.

“Monsieur Collins.” Our man Paris Bob Wilson is with us on Christmas, pleasing me greatly. “It’s cosy and strange that you’re doing this from from London (also a noticeable Northern Hemispheric mellowing of that zippy, sunny prose you rock down there). Top catch, that. Too many diving catches are treated with reverential astonishment (irritating to the goalies of the world) but that was a boned fish of a thing. A crime against ergonomics. One of the rare ones that looks harder in slo-mo. Southee clearly just thought...’**** it, I’m having that.’ A true gem.”

With you on the critique of diving catches. Of course, they aren’t easy. But being at full stretch doesn’t make it a classic. There’s a reason why slippers like Smith take them all the time - when they get a good, early look they can time their jump accordingly. They have trained for it. Southee’s, with the confusion of who should/would go for it and so on, was much harder to execute. That’s my Ted Talk.

Just Australia’s session? Having been sent in, with the ball and pitch doing plenty, you could advance that argument. On the other hand, New Zealand did get rid of Warner, who looked a lock for a major contribution until Wagner found his edge - taken superbly by Southee - with 15 minutes until the interval. Their other scalp, Burns bowled first ball by Boult in the opening over of the Test, had the MCG heaving with tens of thousands of New Zealanders in the stands. Lots of fun!

26th over: Australia 67-2 (Labuschagne 23, Smith 1) Smith takes one on the arm! Wade-esque! They rotate for one but the umpires, quite rightly, call them back as a leg bye can’t be added unless a shot is being offered or evasive action taken. It happens again later in the over - almost identical, albeit hitting him in the back this time. Umpire Llong waves his arms to signal dead ball and Smith doesn’t like it at all, believing that his action was to get out of the way. Last ball before lunch... and it finds the edge with Smith forced to play another super short ball, landing just in front of the catchers waiting behind the wicket. A riveting final over before the break, Smith flaring up at Nigel Llong as he leaves the field.

25th over: Australia 67-2 (Labuschagne 23, Smith 1) Good from Labuschagne, taking the ball with soft hands through the cordon to frustrate Boult. He defends and leaves the rest, which is fine with the Kiwis as it means they can race through it quicker than usual to secure another Wagner v Smith stoush before lunch.

24th over: Australia 63-2 (Labuschagne 19, Smith 1) Wagner is giving it his all with his short and accurate bowling, Smith on hands and knees a couple of times ostentatiously leaving balls alone before one really spits at his gloves, played with both feet off the ground but with soft hands well away from waiting catchers. Just what we wanted on this opening morning. Probably two more overs until lunch

23rd over: Australia 62-2 (Labuschagne 18, Smith 1) Nearing lunch, Boult gets a go at Smith - an adversary he knows well. Full and full to begin, short and short to follow. After his week in Perth, Smith wants nothing to do with either bouncer. They would do well to remember how England got themselves into a bouncer frenzy against Smith at Brisbane in 2017 and he didn’t take it on for nine hours. With so much focus on this, I suspect this is exactly what will happen here. The field remains set for a mistake: a leg gully, bat pad and two men out deep.

22nd over: Australia 62-2 (Labuschagne 18, Smith 1) Send in the crazy Smith Boxing Day Test stats, four times galloping to centuries in this fixture. On the other hand, for the first time in his career he’s coming into a Test with it four matches since a half-century. Not that this means anything. Right, four to go in the over and Wagner goes upstairs! Good bowling. The crowd love it, some commentators start talking Bodyline. I’ll bite my tongue. He’s off the mark with a quick single to midwicket. A direct hit would have been interesting.

WHAT A CATCH! I didn’t do it justice in my wicket post.

The one-hander from Tim Southee! #AUSvNZ | https://t.co/Q5Lvt45rWOpic.twitter.com/5V4DoyGDjM

And they have! Wagner changes ends and finds Warner’s edge second ball! Southee, jumping across from second slip, takes a sharp chance above his eyeline. A massive moment in the early exchanges of this Test Match. They’re now going to get 15 minutes at Steve Smith before lunch on the opening morning. Game on.

21st over: Australia 58-1 (Warner 41, Labuschagne 15) Nasty! Boult is back and immediately whacks Warner on the arm, leaping off a length. He’s spent a lot of time patting down the wicket between overs and does so again now between deliveries. Later in the over, he’s into the 40s with a couple behind point, using the pace well. To really justify their decision to bowl first, the Black Caps need something to go their way in the 18 minutes before lunch. Plenty has been going their way with the moving ball and the surface. They need to make it work now.

“Hi Adam.” Hi, Trevor Tutu. It’s still very early morning in Cape Town, but woken by dreams of the Newlands Test and the victory over England. I’m joining you on the OBO until I summon up the energy to watch it on the box. I wonder if I’ll even bother to get up, as I am now perfectly happy to get my cricket fix from the OBO.”

20th over: Australia 56-1 (Warner 39, Labuschagne 15) An emphatic response from Warner to his troubles against CDG in the previous over, clobbering the first ball of this fresh set through cover for four then carving a couple behind point. He keeps going, moving through the 30s quicker than [insert name of a dictator here] with three more through cover - help yourself stuff, a long-hop. The all-rounder gets one look at Labuschange, who defends watchfully.

19th over: Australia 47-1 (Warner 30, Labuschagne 15) Singles to both behind square leg. Other than that, the approach to Wagner is to leave him well alone.

18th over: Australia 45-1 (Warner 29, Labuschagne 14) Ooh! CDG is suddenly the man most likely, twice in a row beating Warner from around the wicket with deliveries moving appreciably after pitching. The opener should have left the first one alone but the second required attention in these conditions. So close. If they don’t get him soon, I predict he’ll be about 162 not out overnight.

The G. Gee! pic.twitter.com/Gd7OjKkM1T

17th over: Australia 43-1 (Warner 28, Labuschagne 13) Bumper! That’s what the travelling fans are there to see, Wagner hurrying Labuschagne up with one that just evades his lid. For the second time this morning he’s slow on the bouncer, and he was out pulling in Perth. I’m not suggesting this is necessarily a weakness, but I’m sure the Kiwi quicks will be interpreting it that way. Good over. Maiden.

16th over: Australia 43-1 (Warner 28, Labuschagne 13) CDG has had a couple of polite words directed his way already in this spell about where he is landing in his follow through. An affliction for many stump-to-stump operators. He’s looking more likely to Labuschagne so far, who is starting well outside the crease at him to offset the natural curve he’s getting to the right hander. A quick single to finish, Boult getting a look at a direct hit but unable to nail the non-striker stumps.

15th over: Australia 40-1 (Warner 27, Labuschagne 11) Wagner is on and the Kiwi crowd are very happy, the left-armer generating so much attention in Perth for his efforts in both innings. No short stuff to begin though, Labuschagne leaving for the most part after clipping the first away for a couple. He tetains the strike with a single to midwicket as well. It’s taken a while, but the No3 is into double figures.

Some news from the Australian camp: Mitch Swepson, the QLD leggie, has been added to the squad for the SCG Test. He’s been on a couple of Test tours without debut as yet. Has had a few big moments so far in this summer’s Sheffield Shield.

Prime Minister Edmund Barton, dressed for cricket in Melbourne, Christmas 1870 pic.twitter.com/v1ge6iUnpA

14th over: Australia 37-1 (Warner 27, Labuschagne 8) Ooooi! Southee, gosh, this is outstanding swing bowling. It’s going to take that in order to nick Warner off now that he’s set and he’s nearly pulled it off from around the wicket with one coming back at him, the opener just inside the line. But this doesn’t bother Warner, who drives from the crease later in the over, creaming his cover drive through the gap for four. He finishes with two more past point, racing back in top gear to the danger end. We saw that over and over and over again in Adelaide last month.

Shouts to the entire country of New Zealand for making the trip to the G

13th over: Australia 31-1 (Warner 21, Labuschagne 8) CDG to Labuschagne, who is shuffling forward before the ball is bowled to negate a bit of the movement, but is mostly happy getting his bat out of the way. The bowler adjusts his length just a tad, prompting one of those play-and-misses where the batsman is trying to get the bat out of the way just as the ball passes. Fine work. He’s such a better bowler than the speed radar alone would suggest. A couple of good drives to finish but both straight to fielders. That’s drinks, bringing to a close an absorbing first hour.

“Just cricket things,” writes Sachin Paul. “Despite things being totally symmetrical, you rarely see Boult coming around the wicket to Labuschagne while it is the absolute main weapon that Southee (and other right arm fast bowlers) seem to use against lefties. Wonder why that is?”

12th over: Australia 31-1 (Warner 21, Labuschagne 8) Southee is still finding plenty of movement. I can’t wait to see the swing/seam analysis of the first session today compared to the first stanza here in 2017 and 2018, which were both painful.

11th over: Australia 29-1 (Warner 19, Labuschagne 8) de Grandhomme - or, CDG as I’m going to identify him this week - into the attack from the Smokers’ Stand End. As usual, he’s asking all the right questions from the get-go, finding the inside portion of Warner’s blade then doing the same with Labuschagne later in the over. “Just losing his shape,” says Michael Vaughan. Nice start from the all-rounder.

“Merry Christmas @collinsadam!” Gary Naylor - compliments of the season to you, my friend. “I got the collected memoirs of Clive James today, having read Volume 1 a few years back. Of course, the great man has left us now, as has much of his Australia (pace Bay 13). Is this a good or bad thing?”

10th over: Australia 28-1 (Warner 18, Labuschagne 8) More runs for Warner, three of them, with a push past mid-on. I’ve watched Warner enough to declare that this is exactly how he looks when he’s en route to a ton. I’m usually reluctant to mozz players in this way, but with Warner it’s easier to tell when he’s on than for most.

9th over: Australia 25-1 (Warner 15, Labuschagne 8) Warner off strike again early in the Boult over, pushing past point along the carpet. That’s the way to do it when the ball is moving: get down the other end. Labuschagne deals with the rest. Might be worth giving Wagner a look from Boult’s end while the Kookaburra is new.

8th over: Australia 24-1 (Warner 14, Labuschagne 8) After Boult’s first over, Southee has been the more dangerous of the New Zealand seamers. Once again he’s forcing Labuschagne here to play with him respect. And just as it was in the previous over, he gets another real good’un that beats his outside edge.

“Merry Christmas Adam.” It’s just ticked over to Boxing Day here in the UK but I’ve had a great time of it. We actually hosted lunch today - how very grown up. Merry Christmas, Shane Puxley. “The action on field is riveting, and 8 bays of Kiwi support in the Olympic Stand is equally so. The problematic aspects of Bay 13 were real and important to address. I’m just not sure that ripping out the entire area and transplanting Bondi’s Bucket List Bar is the answer? The active support area at Headingley seemed to drive Stokes as much as he conducted them. We need to consider retaining space for collective barracking, with impetus on self-policing the less savoury aspects.”

7th over: Australia 23-1 (Warner 13, Labuschagne 8) That didn’t take long - Umpire Erasmus is already taking a look at the ball to put it through the rings. He gives it back to Boult, who overpitches again at Warner with his next, driven for three to long-off, Williamson denying him a boundary with an excellent sliding stop. They’re taking another look at the ball later in the over, to no avail for the tourists, who reckon it is out of shape. It keeps swinging though, this time back to Labuschange who misjudges an outsinger hitting him high on the front pad flap. He’s back on it straightaway though, square driving a wide half-volley for four.

“Morning Adam.” Morning, Damien McLean. “What a start by Boult, but his first ball made me think. Full, outside off, left by the batter. I can’t remember a first ball of a test match that didn’t follow that formula. I wondered, with your statistical contacts, if you could find out the likelihood of the opening ball of a test being full, outside off, left by the batter. If it’s as common as I’m assuming, should a bowler consider a well directed bouncer every now and then to catch the batter off guard, as surely it would be the last think they would expect.”

6th over: Australia 14-1 (Warner 10, Labuschagne 4) Gosh, what a pearler from Southee to start his new over, beating Labuschagne with one that’s angled in at leg and beaten off. Gorgeous new ball bowling - unplayable. Labuschagne did the right thing though, playing the line rather than following it with his hands. After those two nervous plays-and-misses to begin, after Burns lost his middle stump in the first over of the day, Marnus has been back to his normal, organised self.

5th over: Australia 14-1 (Warner 10, Labuschagne 4) Bodyline - drink! The first use of the magic word on television, Warne asking how New Zealand will go at Smith when the time comes. None of that here, Boult very much in Warner’s half, the opener waiting for the overpitched delivery that comes at the end, driven carefully through the gap at cover for his first boundary. Very good batting.

Disappointing that @CricketAus continues to think it’s okay to saturate advertising with a betting company. Inconsistent with a #family environment #BoxingDayTest#AUSvNZ@GeoffLemonSport@collinsadampic.twitter.com/mheF8K7mwl

4th over: Australia 10-1 (Warner 6, Labuschagne 4) Full, leave. Full, defend. Bumper! There it is, and Labuschagne is on it late. We saw plenty of this in Perth and it worked a lot better than the final margin would suggest. Clever bowling from Southee, pushing the next up on a good length to locate edge, on the bounce to third slip. He leaves the last couple. We’re seeing pictures of the two Australians between overs doing plenty of gardening. It’s made for a great start. Maiden.

3rd over: Australia 10-1 (Warner 6, Labuschagne 4) Boult with a 7-2 field at Warner, finding his leading edge with the first of the new set, albeit on the bounce between the two gullies for a couple. He’s more convincing in that same direction later in the after, collecting two more past point. He’s back on the front foot before long, Boult doing well to stop a straight drive in his follow through. Two of the best in the world going at it on Boxing Day equals very good watching.

2nd over: Australia 6-1 (Warner 2, Labuschagne 4) Tim Southee has the ball in his hand from the Great Southern Stand End, Warner clipping him to long leg for his second single. New Zealand won’t mind that, getting another look at Labuschagne who wafted at his first two balls. Four slips in place. “I like this,” says Warne. “Good move.” He has the good sense the bust out his lightsaber leave this time, though. After playing the next outswinger with soft hands into the cordon, he gets a look at a long half-volley to finish and makes no mistake, stroking it safely past mid-off for the first boundary.

“It’s like Eden Park here!” says my mate Dom Milesi from behind the bowlers’ arm in the MCC. It certainly sounds it on the telly!

It took Trent Boult only four balls to rattle the pegs! #AUSvNZ | https://t.co/PqXiHJrcvNpic.twitter.com/f7gz0Uwno9

1st over: Australia 1-1 (Warner 1, Labuschagne 0) It’s the stuff you dream of as a swing bowler, something Boult has done so often across his decorated international career. Burns didn’t help himself, launching at a booming drive first ball; just the fourth delivery of the day. Labuschagne’s turn and he’s beaten first up by a ball he had no need to play. Oh, and he’s beaten again to finish! Nervous batting; super bowling. The MCG is ALIVE with the Kiwi support going wild.

Through the gate with a beauty! Burns bowled first ball playing all around it! Hooley dooley!

The players are on the field! Boult to Warner. PLAY!

Oh! And Boxing Day 2010. How can anyone ever forget? And yes, that’s the last time a captain elected to bowl first at Melbourne.

This will NEVER get old...

Australia, 98 all out, Boxing Day, 2010.

Beautiful pic.twitter.com/2UyrOgFMy3

“Hi Adam, And a very merry Boxing Day.” Hi, Ian Forth - to you and yours as well. “I can recall the memorable insertions that went awry: Hussain in 2002 at Brisbane, Ponting 2005 at Edgbaston, even Paine 2019 at The Oval come to mind. But I haven’t got the same mental map of rather unexpected insertions that were proved right. I expect others might have.”

Good point - we don’t often discuss them when they work. Two that immediately stand out for me: Edgbaston and Trent Bridge in 2015.

Before play... we all saw this, I assume? OUR KYLIE. What a star.

Dear United Kingdom,
Your besties across the ocean are calling.
Love,
Your mates in Australia #matesongpic.twitter.com/eAROy5p1Vn

That Williamson decision. I’ll remind you of the semi-final in this year’s World Cup. There, the New Zealand skipper was widely panned for how conservatively they batted. Well, it turns out an international skipper reads a track better than we all do. If he’s pulled the right lever here, it really would be something. “It’s a great move,” says Brendon McCullum on SEN Radio. “Giving their quicks an opportunity to go through them early here is their best bet.”

If MCG pitch doesn't favour the bowlers a lot at the start, it never will. As MCC CEO Stuart Fox said: "We're trying to liven up things at the earlier stages of the game - the lateral seam movement is quite important." #AUSvNZhttps://t.co/f5KISaGEYl

Two excellent people. Here’s Ross Taylor talking to Ali Mitchell on Channel Seven about what it means for the Black Caps to be back on the MCG in a Test Match.

"For us to finally be here after 32 years, the fans are all excited and the players and coaches are extra excited as well."

- @RossLTaylor chats with @AlisonMitchell#AUSvNZpic.twitter.com/m943WKhG9R

Australia: David Warner, Joe Burns, Marnus Labuschagne, Steven Smith, Matthew Wade, Travis Head, Tim Paine (c & wk), James Pattinson, Pat Cummins, Mitchell Starc, Nathan Lyon.

New Zealand: Tom Latham, Tom Blundell, Kane Williamson (c), Ross Taylor, Henry Nicholls, Colin de Grandhomme, BJ Watling (wk), Mitchell Santner, Tim Southee, Neil Wagner, Trent Boult.

BOLD! Kane Williamson says this was the plan. His two changes were those I flagged earlier; teams to you in a sec. Tim Paine says he “wasn’t too sure” what he would do if he won the toss. Unusual for the Cricket Ground, that’s for sure, but the track is green, so here we are. Pattinson for Hazlewood confirmed as Australia’s only change.

Good work, MCG.

Nice work ⁦@MCG⁩ #AUSvNZpic.twitter.com/v1kdJYiEU8

Last year a significant portion of Bay 13 were ejected for "show us your visa" taunts to India fans, this year the Bay itself has been ejected, replaced by "The Boundary Social" #AUSvNZpic.twitter.com/hnRVzo6Prh

Confirmed from the ground, via Justin Langer on radio. Head will retain his spot; Neser to again ride the pine. Oh well. Victorian James Pattinson is in for his first home Test since his first international summer back in 2011. He’ll be loving that, make no mistake.

Pattinson in for Hazlewood the only change for Aust. Neser, @collinsadam and @beastieboy07 left devastated #AusvNZ

Good morning! It’s the late shift where I’m coming to you from in London having tucked into a very different Boxing Day Eve. But I haven’t missed many Melbourne Tests through my life, so I’m very excited to be with you on the mighty OBO across the next five days.

For the hosts, the modern history of a turgid MCG Test strip had Tim Paine talking the talk about playing five bowlers and elevating himself into the top six for the first time. That would mean a debut to one of my favourites, Michael Neser. However, with more grass than usual on the track, the XI is likely to be your more belt-and-braces variety. What’s certain: James Pattinson returns. Giddy up.

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South Africa v England: first Test, day one – as it happened

December 26, 2019, 7:45 am
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Quinton de Kock’s high-risk 95 helped South Africa to 277-9 on a topsy-turvy opening day that included four wickets for the superb Sam Curran

Vic Marks has filed his report from Centurion, which is my cue to get back to celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ. Thanks for your company and emails. Please join Tanya in the morning for day two of what could be a fascinating match. Bye!

Related: England’s Sam Curran takes four but De Kock’s 95 rallies South Africa

Here’s Sam Curran

“It’s pretty even, I think. Quinton de Kock probably got away from us a little bit too quickly but to get him out so that he couldn’t bat with the tail was pretty good. Fair play to him, he rode his luck and got a good score.

Stumps Honours are pretty even after an interesting, topsy-turvy day of Test cricket. England’s decision to bowl first looked a very good one when they reduced South Africa to 111 for five, but Quinton de Kock’s thrilling, hazardous 95 changed the moodand hurried the home side towards a useful score.

Sam Curran picked up deserved, Test-best figures of four for 57, while Stuart Broad (three for 52) also played an important part. There were lots of useful batting contributions for South Africa, including 39 from Zubayr Hamza and a composed 33 from the debutant Dwaine Pretorius.

Broad ends a mixed day for England on a high, nipping one back to bowl Kagiso Rabada through the gate. That was a beautiful delivery, and the wicket means it will be the last ball of the day.

82nd over: South Africa 275-8 (Philander 28, Rabada 12) Rabada edges Anderson all along the ground for yet another boundary to third man, and then rifles a drive through Broad at mid-off for four more. An exasperated Anderson has a pop at everyone and no-one.

81st over: South Africa 267-8 (Philander 28, Rabada 4) A red-faced Stuart Broad takes the second new ball and is unfortunate not to pick up Philander with a beauty that jags back past the inside edge. Philander responds with a punishing drive through extra cover for four. I think this is a really useful score for South Africa.

80th over: South Africa 263-8 (Philander 24, Rabada 4) Joe Denly hurries through the 80th over, thus allowing England a few extra minutes with the second new ball.

79th over: South Africa 262-8 (Philander 22, Rabada 4) Archer has been better since tea, with figures of 8-2-14-1. In the first two sessions they were 11-2-51-0.

“Your all being to pedantic,” says Matt Dony. “A mussel is a mussel.”

78th over: South Africa 261-8 (Philander 22, Rabada 4) Rabada edges Curran through the vacant third slip area for four. I’d love to know how many runs England have conceded to third man today.

The bits I’ve seen, Sam Curran has bowled beautifully. Switching from the cricket to Mary Poppins has been the perfect Boxing Day

77th over: South Africa 257-8 (Philander 22, Rabada 0) A short ball from Archer is slapped to the point boundary by Philander. His impertinence is punished with another short delivery that kicks to hit him in the ribs. There are 13 overs still be bowled today, though we’ll probably only get five or six as play will end in 25 minutes.

“Does that mean that the triceps connect three parts of the body?” asks Jim Bax. “Arf!”

76th over: South Africa 252-8 (Philander 17, Rabada 0) “Simon Mesner is correct,” says John Starbuck. “I too looked up the dictionary definition of biceps but thought a simplified version would be more OBO-acceptable. It just goes to show one shouldn’t try to second-guess things.”

So what’s a forcep?

75th over: South Africa 252-8 (Philander 17, Rabada 0) “Biceps,” says James Debens. “It’s all Latin. How can you comment on Curran without a basic grasp of Latin? This country!”

Jofra Archer gets his first wicket of the match, with Maharaj edging an awkward delivery to Stokes at second slip. It was another low catch but this time Stokes was confident he had taken it cleanly. The umpires went upstairs, with a soft signal of out, and replays showed it was a lovely take at ankle height. There was not a flicker of celebration from Archer, a reflection of the day he has had.

74th over: South Africa 247-7 (Philander 17, Maharaj 2) If England are serious about selecting on merit rather than continuing to homage the glorious Gerrard-Lampard era of English football, Sam Curran will play the next Test. That will make things interesting if England decide they need a full-time spinner.

Sam Curran gets his first Test five-for, and by flip does he deserve it. He has bowled beautifully all day. Maharaj is trapped in front by another textbook inswinger... and there was an inside edge, so balls to all the above.

73rd over: South Africa 246-7 (Philander 16, Maharaj 1) Jofra Archer replaces Joe Denly. One of the many jobs England have pencilled him in for over the next decade is cleaning up the tail. His first over doesn’t really threaten any hoovering, with Maharaj ignoring a series of deliveries just outside off stump.

“Dear Rob,” says Simon Mesner. “It pains me to correct a pedant but the biceps muscles (biceps brachii in the arm and biceps femoris in the thigh - part of the ‘hamstrings’ group) are so called as they have two heads not because they connect two parts of the body. John Starbuck, oh dear.”

72nd over: South Africa 246-7 (Philander 15, Maharaj 1) The new batsman Maharaj just manages to get a bat on his first delivery, an inswinger that would otherwise have trapped him plumb LBW. Curran is one wicket away from his first Test five-for.

This is brilliant bowling from Sam Curran. He returns to the attack, at the end of a long day, and dismisses de Kock five short of a century with a lovely outswinger. It shaved the edge as de Kock pushed forward defensively, and Jos Buttler took a simple catch. That’s Curran’s fourth wicket of the day, and I’m not sure he has bowled better in his burgeoning Test career.

71st over: South Africa 244-6 (de Kock 95, Philander 15) de Kock has played a decreasingly irresponsible innings. You might even call it an increasingly responsible one. He has even resisted the considerable temptation to reach his century by smashing Joe Denly for six, instead dealing in no-risk singles and dot balls.

70th over: South Africa 242-6 (de Kock 94, Philander 14) Philander is beaten by Anderson, and thick edges the next ball for four. Though England haven’t been at their best today, they’ve also been pretty unfortunate. The upshot of all that is that South Africa are in a strong position on an awkward pitch.

“Yep, that’s not so bad at all, Mac Millings,” says John Starbuck. “Well done. However, when it comes to verse I am very difficult to satisfy. You also need to try it on a couple of pre-teen girls to see if they can come up with appropriate actions to perform it in the playground. Thus lies immortality.”

69th over: South Africa 237-6 (de Kock 93, Philander 10) The part-time legspinner Joe Denly comes into the attack. His first over is a good one, with a bit of bounce and a couple of unsuccessful hacks from Philander.

“There are people in the basement bar I’m in watching the Brighton Spurs game wondering why I’m on my feet applauding my smartphone,” says Tom Atkins. “Chapeau, Mac Millings.”

68th over: South Africa 236-6 (de Kock 92, Philander 10) Ah, Ben Stokes is back on the field, so perhaps he doesn’t have the team bug. Anderson’s 18th over the day is a quiet affair, save for one delivery that pops from a length to beat Philander.

“Pedantry Corner: the singular of biceps is biceps,” says John Starbuck. “No such word as bicep (it could, almost, be an unusual mushroom), as biceps refers to a muscle connecting two major parts of a body.”

67th over: South Africa 235-6 (de Kock 91, Philander 10) Philander is defending solidly, bicep-endangering balls notwithstanding, and England’s bowlers are starting to look drained. I think South africa are in an excellent position now. That’s drinks.

Oh lordy, he did it.

“Your wish came true, John Starbuck,” says Mac Millings. “Merry Christmas!”

On the first day of Christmas, John Starbuck gave to me,
A Parfitt, Binny, Blair, Reeve.

On the second day of Christmas, John Starbuck gave to me,
Twose, Kirtley, Love,
Pandya, Parfitt, Binny, Blair, Reeve.

66th over: South Africa 234-6 (de Kock 90, Philander 10) de Kock clubs Anderson down the ground for four, a shot of vague contempt, and flicks a single to move into the nineties. England, on top for most of the first two sessions, are now struggling.

65th over: South Africa 228-6 (de Kock 85, Philander 9) Yet another streaky but effective shot from de Kock, who kitchen-sinks Broad over the slips for four more. England have conceded so many runs to third man today. de Kock is one away from equalling his highest Test score at No6. His five hundreds to date all came at No7.

64th over: South Africa 222-6 (de Kock 79, Philander 9) Philander is hit on the right bicep by a vicious lifter from Anderson. That kicked spectacularly from a length. Philander must have been tempted to smile once the pain subsided, because it suggests batting fourth will not much fun - particularly against a wicket-to-wicket bowler like Philander.

Philander edges wide of second slip for four to end another exasperating over for England, whose Christmas cheer is starting to evaporate. Since slipping to 111 for five, South Africa have doubled their score for the loss of only one more wicket.

63rd over: South Africa 217-6 (de Kock 78, Philander 5) Ben Stokes is suffering from dehydration and has felt unwell since tea, which suggests he has caught the bug. If so, you’d think England would want him nowhere near the dressing-room for the next couple of days at least.

de Kock carries on merrily, slicing the new bowler Broad up and over the cordon for four. This has the feel of one of those matchwinning counter-attacks from Sam Curran against India in 2018 - specifically the 78 at the Ageas Bowl. England appeal optimistically for LBW with de Kock on 78. It pitched a million miles outside leg, literphorically.

62nd over: South Africa 212-6 (de Kock 74, Philander 5) Archer off, Anderson on. It looks like he wants to bore de Kock out by bowling wide of off stump, a tactic that almost works when de Kock inside edges wide of leg stump.

61st over: South Africa 211-6 (de Kock 73, Philander 5) Sam Curran goes around the wicket and almost knocks Philander off his feet with a terrific yorker. Philander just managed to dig it out before nodding respectfully at Curran. Excellent stuff from Curran, who has been comfortably the pick of the England attack. His figures are 15-5-48-3.

60th over: South Africa 208-6 (de Kock 70, Philander 5) Another accurate over from Archer, a maiden to Philander. Apparently Ben Stokes is off the field, and may be the latest man to have caught the bug that ruled Ollie Pope, Chris Woakes and Jack Leach out of this game.

59th over: South Africa 208-6 (de Kock 70, Philander 5) An accurate over from Curran to de Kock, who almost drags an attempted pull back onto the stumps. de Kock has lost a bit of rhythm. He reached fifty off 45 balls; since then he has scored 20 from 47 deliveries.

58th over: South Africa 207-6 (de Kock 70, Philander 5) de Kock is beaten, trying to uppercut a trampolining bouncer. This is a better spell from Archer, with decent intensity and nothing particularly loose; since tea he has conceded five from three overs.

“Merry post-Christmas, Rob and everyone,” says Guy Hornsby. “I’m with Matt Dony on this one. As an equal fan of rugby and cricket (umbrella term: disappointment) I do think of Dan Lucas when we’ve been knee-deep in some recent sporting uber-moments. I wonder, of course, what he’d have done with both of Stokes’ fairytales at Headingley and Lord’s this summer, and Cook’s retirement ton. But also to have seen not only his euphoria of England’s hammering of the All Blacks and even more so, the capitulation in the final, which surely would’ve been replete with 90s, angst-ridden music references. Which brings us back nicely to here. Are we going to be The Bends or Idioteque by close tonight? It’s all poorer without him.”

57th over: South Africa 204-6 (de Kock 69, Philander 4) de Kock, who has played with greater sobriety since tea, works Curran for a single to bring up the 200. Philander waves a drive for four to get off the mark and then survives a biggish LBW appeal from a Curran inswinger. That looked slightly better than the previous two, but not good enough for England to risk their last review.

Ah, replays show it was pitching outside leg.

56th over: South Africa 199-6 (de Kock 68, Philander 0) A beautiful lifter from Archer hits de Kock on the glove and loops to safety on the off side. It’s abundantly clear to anyone who has watched him this year that Jofra Archer has the potential to be the greatest sportsman of all time. Talking of which...

“Archer, yet another English sportsman the media has blown up into a superstar before he has done anything,” says Andrew Hurley. “I live in France, a country that has 3 rugby players with much more potential and performances in the bank than Archer - yet - no bluster, no getting ahead of themselves, they are simply regarded as promising players and there is no need felt by any section of the media to go further. The question that should be asked around Archer is not how he is performing, but the standards invented by the media (Guardian included) who feel an incessant need to hype any player with any promise - when that has been corrected, Archer can be viewed as a promising player and his performances assessed accordingly.”

55th over: South Africa 198-6 (de Kock 67, Philander 0) The new batsman is Vernon Philander. He’s an excellent N08, as England know from that famous Test at Lord’s in 2012.

Sam Curran gets his third wicket! Pretorious, who survived a ludicrous LBW review from England off the previous delivery, fenced at a length ball and edged to Root at second slip. That’s another good catch from Root. It was almost a no-ball, but Curran had a little bit behind the line. The debutant Pretorius has gone for an assured 33.

54th over: South Africa 191-5 (de Kock 65, Pretorius 27) Archer continues after tea, and jags one back to cut Pretorius in half. Archer has bowled in short spells today, which makes sense in almost every way. But it was noticeable that, particularly during the Ashes, he would often only hit 95mph+ in the seventh or eighth over of a spell. England haven’t yet worked out the best way to use him.

“Hello Rob,” says Kevin Davey. “I’m currently cycling from Land’s End to (*appropriateness alert*) Cape Town to raise money for Let the Children Hear, an amazing charity that does exactly what you’d imagine given the name - helping kids with hearing issues in Uganda. At the moment I’m in Ethiopia, so a little over halfway there. By the time I arrive de Kock will probably have counterattacked his way to a score in the low hundred-thousands. If any of the OBO readers would like to put some festive coppers in the virtual tin, my JustGiving page can be found here.”

53rd over: South Africa 189-5 (de Kock 65, Pretorius 26) This should be a two-and-a-half hour evening session, with 38 overs still to bowl. The first of those, from the returning Sam Curran, passes without incident.

Teatime reading

Related: Peter Hain: ‘Stopping South Africa’s rugby and cricket teams hit them right in the gut’

“Hello Rob,” says Malcolm Ferguson. “Could you tell us TMS fans why they are not broadcasting. Or have they changed channels?”

I think Talksport have the rights for this series.

Marmite Millings

“Please inform Mr Millings that I don’t rate his version of ‘Good King Wenceslas’ very highly as the scanning falters a bit too much,” says John Starbuck. “How about the ‘Twelve days of Christmas’? But you have to have the actions too.”

52nd over: South Africa 187-5 (de Kock 64, Pretorius 25) de Kock times Archer deliciously down the ground for four. Archer is going at almost five an over today, which is very unusual. Even in New Zealand, when he couldn’t buy a wicket for all the Flat Whites in Oceania, he only went at 2.5 per over. He’s having a tough time right now.

Anyhow, that’s tea. South Africa were in big trouble at 111 for five, but a lively counter-attack from Quinton de Kock, who rode his luck, and the impressive debutant Dwaine Pretorius has brought them right back into the game. It’s a very hot day in Centurion, and South Africa have a chance to punish a tiring England attack in the final session.

51st over: South Africa 181-5 (de Kock 59, Pretorius 25) Pretorius flicks Broad between midwicket and mid-on for four. It was in the air, and teased both fielders, but the placement was good. Though England have been unlucky in this last hour, they have also bowled too many four-balls.

“Afternoon Rob, and season’s greetings to everyone,” says Simon McMahon. “Where did the last 10 years go? In a blur of Guardian live blogs, that’s where. You’d have got good odds on 26 March 2011 that England would end the decade as 50-over world champions. Though maybe not quite as good as Donald Trump becoming US president. And who’d have predicted that Brexit would go so smoothly? After all that, what can possibly happen by 2030 that could surprise us now…?”

50th over: South Africa 177-5 (de Kock 59, Pretorius 21) Jofra Archer returns in place of Jimmy Anderson (14-4-43-1). Joe Root is using his seamers in shorter spells than usual, such is the punishing heat in Centurion. His first ball is a beauty that beats de Kock’s outside edge; his second is filth and flicked to fine leg for four. An eventful over concludes with a jaffa that lifts past the outside edge, and an inside-edge from de Kock that just misses the stumps. He has had all kinds of fortune today.

49th over: South Africa 173-5 (de Kock 55, Pretorius 21) Broad, on for Root, is flicked through midwicket for three by de Kock. This has been a vital innings from de Kock; even at this stage, it has the potential to be matchwinning.

After typing the above, I went straight to my inbox to find this from Andy Bradshaw. “Afternoon Rob,” he says. “I love Test series in South Africa. Superb Christmas holiday timings. Anyway, ‪de Kock’s Brad Haddining his way to a matchwinning score here.”

48th over: South Africa 167-5 (de Kock 52, Pretorius 20) “Recently, someone wrote an email to the Fiver that included a number of Manic Street Preachers references,” says Matt Dony. “It instantly reminded me of how often I sent Manics-based jokes to Dan Lucas when he was masterfully covering Wales rugby matches. At a time of year when many people are obligated to spend time with family (whether they want to or not), it’s a nice reminder of the old cliche; ‘Friends are family we choose for ourselves.’ Now, as trite as it sounds, the thing with cliches is that they are usually cliched for a reason. They’re generally accurate. And, ‘friends’ can happily include people you’ve never met, but correspond with occasionally (even if it’s only with sports/music related puns, sarcasm, observations etc). A friend still missed.”

Amen to that. I want to hear his enthusiasm/contempt for so much in the last few years, from Slowthai to this year’s World Cup finals to the state of almost everything in the real world.

47th over: South Africa 167-5 (de Kock 51, Pretorius 19) Pretorius drives Root elegantly over mid-off for a one-bounce four. He has played nicely on debut so far, though we shouldn’t be surprised. His first-class numbers are extremely impressive: 39 with the bat, 24 with the ball.

46th over: South Africa 162-5 (de Kock 50, Pretorius 15) Pretorius heaves at a wide ball from Anderson, thick-edging it to third man for four. It feels like England, under Joe Root, concede a lot of runs down there. A single for Pretorius brings up a frantic, frisky fifty partnership in just 9.1 overs; and then a single for de Kock brings up a frantic, frisky fifty from just 45 balls. Discretion isn’t always the better part of valour.

“Bad verse, John Starbuck?” sniffs Mac Millings. “You are obviously as yet unacquainted with the first two stanzas of my ‘Good King Wenceslas’.

Goodwin, Benson, Vaas, Cook, Grout,
Hondo, Priest of Steve Finn,
Fender, Snow, La Roux, Don, Grout,
Dipak, Pant, Finn (Steven).

Bright, Lee, Shaun Tait, Munaf, Knight,
Botham, Foster, Udal,
Fender, Pooran, Amiss, Wright,
Gatt, Ravindra, Sewell.

45th over: South Africa 156-5 (de Kock 49, Pretorius 10) Another lucky escape for de Kock! He tries to lap-sweep Root and contrives to toe-end the ball over the head of Stokes at slip.

“Thirty years ago, we used to have to wait until 3pm for Boxing Day to start,” says Gary Naylor. “But in recent years, it starts at 11.30pm on Christmas Day with the diamond bright sun of Melbourne. If we can just pull it forward to 7pm (dinner digested and brandy in hand) I’ll be even happier.”

44th over: South Africa 152-5 (de Kock 45, Pretorius 10) The more you see replays of that Stokes catch, the more it looks like it might have bounced straight into the fingers. Mike Atherton makes the point that the soft signal is king - had that been out, it would have been hard for the third umpire to overrule the on-field decision. By saying he wasn’t sure, Stokes probably cost England a wicket.

Anderson replaces Curran, meanwhile, and de Kock edges him twice to the third-man boundary. The first went over the slips, the second all along the floor. He is starting to wind England up. He’s had plenty of fortune, that much is true, but his 37-ball 45 has brought South Africa back into the game.

43rd over: South Africa 143-5 (de Kock 36, Pretorius 10) Ben Stokes has not bowled yet, which is interesting in the context of Root’s introduction. Pretorius lifts Root handsomely over wide long-on for six, the first boundary of his Test career.

Root continues to threaten, however, and de Kock edges him a fraction short of Stokes at slip. Stokes said he wasn’t sure it had carried, so the umpires went upstairs to check with a soft signal of not out. Replays showed that it was seriously close, but not out.

42nd over: South Africa 133-5 (de Kock 34, Pretorius 2) de Kock is not going to change his approach, lucky escape or no lucky escape. He pulls Curran for four, and then inside-edges another boundary to move to 34 from 28 balls. He is living very dangerously, but that usually makes for great entertainment.

“Morning (GMT) Rob,” says John Starbuck. “As you’ll have seen, today’s OBO has covered comestibles, in-laws, socks and bad verse. All pretty routine but, on a day when The Guardian has been going on about ‘best of the decade’ features, which is the best OBO since 2010, and why?”

41st over: South Africa 125-5 (de Kock 26, Pretorius 2) Joe Root turns for the first time to England’s spinner, Joe Root. His first ball is rubbish and toe-ended for four by de Kock - bit this third ball nearly brought the vital wicket! He played a seriously loose drive, clouting it back over the bowler’s head, and the ball landed this far in front of the diving Anderson as he ran back from mid-off. Anderson leaves the field at the end of the over, though I’m not sure what the problem might be.

40th over: South Africa 118-5 (de Kock 20, Pretorius 1) Oof. Curran beats Pretorius with two of the first three balls after drinks. The first was a loose stroke, the second a lovely delivery. There’s an unsuccessful LBW appeal later in the over, when Pretorius whips around an inswinger. It was missing leg. A splendid maiden from Curran nonetheless; he has been superb today.

Thanks Tanya, hello everyone. Season’s greetings to you all! Isn’t it nice to have some Test cricket to take the edge off the peculiar comedown that is Boxing Day. England have had a good day so far, though they should not feel comfortable in the box seat until they end Quinton de Kock’s counter-attack.

39th over: South Africa 116-5 (de Kock 18, Pretorius 1) Broad tode Kock, de Kock watches the ball go by, bat horizontal. We wait for the flow of the bat, it comes, a drive, but is nicely saved by a diving, sunglassed, long-sleeved Denly at sweeper.

And that’s drinks, advantage England. I’m handing over now to OBO guru Rob Smyth, who will guide you through to the close. Thanks for all the emails and tweets. Happy Boxing Day everyone!

38th over: South Africa 116-5 (de Kock 18, Pretorius 1) Beautiful bowling from Sam Curran, another maiden.

37th over: South Africa 116-5 (de Kock 18, Pretorius 1) Broad has found his mojo, part temptation, part puritanical restraint. Not that de Kock cares, he smashes his last ball through the covers for four more. Watch and learn young Pretorius.

Morning Tanya, writes Damian Clark, seasons felicitations.

The ball after a moment of fast-bowling perfection, that missed du Plessis’s bat by an envelope, Broad gets his edge!

36th over: South Africa 109-4 (du Plessis 29, de Kock 14) du Kock tucks into Sam Curran in the spirit of Boxing Day. A silky-snooth drive through the covers for one four, then turned off his toes through mid-wicket for a second, and a slash n burn through backward point for a third.

Incidentally...

BREAKING: 34 year old Sth African opening bowler Vernon Philander is reported - reliably - to have signed a 3 year Kolpak deal with Somerset. @bbcbristolsport@bbcsomerset@CharlieTaylor4

35th over: South Africa 97-4 (du Plessis 29, de Kock 0) Archer is pulled after a short spell again by Root, who seems to have had a re-think after the New Zealand strategy. du Plessis plays out a maiden from Broad.

34th over: South Africa 97-4 (du Plessis 29, de Kock 0) A wicket-maiden for Sam Curran. Is it because of his size. Do opposition continually under-estimate him? Breathe a sigh of relief when he comes on and subconciously relax?

This is a work of genius Mac Millings, but apologies if my line returns don’t scan.

Fairy-tale Sam strikes again! Brought back from the River End, his second ball pitches just in the kitchen of worry, and van der Dussen spatulates an edge to first slip.

33rd over: South Africa 97-3 (du Plessis 29, van der Dussen 6) Archer; disappointed. His walk back to his mark is so leisurely as to be almost hobbling. He tests Faf again with a wide one, but du Plessis turns up his nose this time, and that’s the third maiden in a row.

du Plessis reviews immediately after being given out caught behind off Archer... ...not out, despite ultra edge spiking, the pictures show the ball well past the bat by then.

32nd over: South Africa 97-3 (du Plessis 29, van der Dussen 6) Anderson has found his rhythm after lunch, here he has van der Dussen hopelessly at sea, pushing at one he shouldn’t have, that misses by a breath.

31st over: South Africa 97-3 (du Plessis 29, van der Dussen 6) All smooth in the good ship Jofra until the final ball which was a rotten sprout, leafy, odorous, and thrashed through the covers by du Plessis.

30th over: South Africa 93-3 (du Plessis 25, van der Dussen 6) Anderson tightens the screw on van der Dussen, who pats him away with angled bat and tidy leaves. Just noticed that du Plessis’s pink gloves match his bat. On point, reminds me of the florescent socks they used to sell at Woking market in 1985. I had them in florescent yellow, but didnt’ them off with as much flair as Faf.

29th over: South Africa 92-3 (du Plessis 25, van der Dussen 4 ) Archer and Root have a chat as Archer drifts towards du Plessis and van der Dussen’s hips. According to the Sky graphics, Archer has bowled only 2 of 38 balls this innings at the batsmen’s stumps. But, as Mark Nicholas points out, that isn’t necessarily the way he works.

28th over: South Africa 90-3 (du Plessis 25, van der Dussen 4 ) Anderson is back, beginning with a loosener - but without the crackerjack result that started the first session. He gradually tightens the line, some fine-tuning of the old piano, keys worn bare but it still knows the best tunes.

“Hi Tanya and merry Christmas to you and the OBO faithful,” writes John Withington.

27th over: South Africa 89-3 (du Plessis 24, van der Dussen 4 ) A sloppy post-prandial over from Archer, as du Plessis dumps him for two fours through mid-wicket on the leg side.

As England and South Africa march out after lunch, Ian Sparling wonders why Ollie Pope isn’t playing. Hi Ian, Pope, as well as Jack Leach and Chris Woakes, are picking over the turkey bones in quarantine in the team hotel suffering from flu.

Thank you very much OBOers! We now have the answer to Matt Wilson’s Faf conundrum. (over 24)

Louwrens Botha: Faf is indeed a common nickname for Francois (see also their World Cup-winning scrumhalf). The ‘five/two plus three’ idea would be pretty far-fetched even if Faf had grown up speaking English..

Andy Buddery: Hi Tanya. Can confirm Faf is a common nickname of Francois (see also Faf De Klerk). Can also confirm that as a child in South Africa, our grade one class of six year old comedians used to call our teacher, Mrs du Plessis, Mrs Two Plus Three. So in a way, Matt’s friends are both right and can both be happy. Merry Christmas.

And off they trot for a lot of liquid, and a lie down. A wicket each for Anderson, Broad, and Sam Curran, with skiddy Curran, 5-2-8-1 the pick of the bowlers. England were a bit creaky with the ball, understandably after sickness and injury, but will be happy enough with three wickets at lunch. Hamza played beautifully but he, like Elgar and Markram, played some loose shots. I’m going to grab a coffee and open a present, see you back here in half an hour!

Related: The Spin’s Test team of the decade, from Cook to Anderson via Kohli | Andy Bull

26th over: South Africa 79-3 (du Plessis 14, van der Dussen 4 ) On Sky they’re talking Brexit. “I’m just getting over it, says Nasser. A maiden from Broad, nicely played out by van der Dussen, and that’s lunch.

Hamza may have displayed good judgement outside off stump, but he's just guessing really. You're going to make quick, pretty runs with the feet, head and hands all inside the line of the ball, but you're just James Vince really @tjaldred.

25th over: South Africa 79-3 (du Plessis 14, van der Dussen 4 ) Joe Root whips off Anderson to give Archer a couple before lunch.He sends in a couple of nip-backers, and appeals, with increasing vibrancy, for a couple of lbws. Turned down, rightly. du Plessis plays out the maiden.

24th over: South Africa 79-3 (du Plessis 14, van der Dussen 4 ) A four for van der Dussen - a forthright dispatch to the rope of an over-pitched Christmas pudding from Broad. That’ll settle the nerves.

Merry Christmas! writes Matt Wilson. “I was hoping you could settle a long standing argument between two of my friends. One claims that Francois du Plessis got his nickname of ‘Faf’ because it sounds a bit like five, and du Plessis sounds a bit like ‘two plus three’. The other says Faf is a common nickname for Francois. Do you know which is correct?

23rd over: South Africa 75-3 (du Plessis 14, van der Dussen 0 ) Ah that Centurion Sky! Pure forget-me-not blue. du Plessis kisses Anderson through gully for four, the debutant van der Dussen at the other end.

22nd over: South Africa 71-3 (du Plessis 10) So Broad grabs a wicket and England chip away, despite not dominating in the way the scoreboard might suggest. Some reckless shots from South Africa this morning. Apparently Broad had not bowled a ball this tour because of sickness, and was this morning taking his kit out its plastic packaging as he hadn’t yet opened it.

The ball after a pitch-perfect, head over knee, cover drive, Hamza pushes outside off stump and is caught shin-high by Stokes at second slip. What a shame, he was batting beautifully, showing, as Michael Holding had just pointed out, until that moment, perfect judgement outside off-stump.

21st over: South Africa 64-2 (du Plessis 10, Hamza 33) The pitch is mottled beige and mossy green and looks dry. Just two from Anderson’s over, as Hamza casually turns the last ball off his hip.

Sam Hey wonders why England are wearing black armbands. It’s in memory of Bob Willis, Sam, who died just over three weeks ago.

20th over: South Africa 62-2 (du Plessis 9, Hamza 32) A double change, as Broad takes the ball back from Sam Curran. He’s on the money, just short, just wide of Hamza, twice on a crack, and Hamza two balls in a row flirts in cheap lace. He does well to survive.

Leon Wylie wins email of the session. “1st ball in a boxing day test. It has to be a “Turkey”.

19th over: South Africa 62-2 (du Plessis 9, Hamza 32) Ah, Anderson is back, somewhat surprisingly, as Archer was producing the occasional gem against du Plessis. Perhaps Root didn’t like the run leakage. Anderson varies his length nicely, and that’s a maiden.

18th over: South Africa 61-2 (du Plessis 9, Hamza 31) Just a couple for du Plessis as Curran keeps it tight. There’s a good crowd at Centurion, lots of shade, lots of short-sleeves, lots of ice-creams.

John Westwell drops us a note before heading off for a bracing walk on the beach. “ I’d suggest that Angel Delight is much more deserving of the term ‘devil’s food’ than Christmas pudding. Only a fallen angel (ie Lucifer himself) could find that powdery triumph of marketing palatable.”

17th over: South Africa 59-2 (du Plessis 7, Hamza 31) An eventful over. Two heavenly drives from Hamza as Archer goes full, through the covers, then back down the ground. Then he shrugs up some extra bounce from nowhere and du Plessis is up on his toes fending the ball away past slip for another four.

16th over: South Africa 45-2 (du Plessis 2, Hamza 22) A maiden from Curran, varying the length, varying the line, but du Plessis is equal to it, his bright pink bat handle flashing in the sun.

Dave Seare is back from the kitchen

15th over: South Africa 45-2 (du Plessis 2, Hamza 22) Shot of the day from Hamza as Archer drifts short and wide, he throws the bat, and cuts with his Sabatier for four. A finely cut steak, an expensive bitter mint. But Archer in on his case, and Hamza is tempted, so tempted, by one that zips past the edge of his bat. One all.

14th over: South Africa 41-2 (du Plessis 2, Hamza 18) It’s Curran again after drinks. A short one lobs over du Plessis’ head and is called a wide. No runs off the bat from the over.

Brian Withington makes a tinselly appearance:

13th over: South Africa 40-2 (du Plessis 2, Hamza 18) du Plessis negociates another awkward over, this time from Archer. His best ball is a rising rocket, which du Plessis tickles just past Bairstow diving at short leg.

And that’s drinks. Advantage England, with Archer-Curran looking more dangerous than Broad-Anderson. Indeed, Guy Hornsby is reaching for the valediction pills.

12th over: South Africa 36-2 (du Plessis 0, Hamza 16) Curran is trouble this morning, giving du Plessis a Boxing Day work out. He starts the over wide, then has him poking to slip and finally beats du Plessis with a 138 kph screamer. A heavy-weight, booze-laden mince pie disguised as angel delight.

11th over: South Africa 36-2 (du Plessis 0, Hamza 16) A double change, as Archer replaces Anderson. His loosener is 143 kph, the fastest ball of the day, and Hamza decides to leave it on a length. It laughs as it brushes over the stumps. Hamza clips the last ball of the over through square leg for four.

Pudding for breakfast? writes James Debens. What fresh hell is this? A black coffee to kickstart the metabolism, followed by a satsuma or three to cleanse the palate.

10th over: South Africa 32-2 (du Plessis 0, Hamza 12) Joe Root has had enough of his elder statesmen and throws the ball to Sam Curran. Immediately, he makes things happen. First Markram thrashes him, wildly, through the covers. Then he edges him just short of slip, Then the wicket, to his fourth ball. Curran’s bowling at 137 kph - faster than Broad, and the same speed as Anderson.

Off his hips, straight to Bairstow at short midwicket! What a bowling change by Root. Top marks for field placings too.

9th over: South Africa 28-1 (Markram 16, Hamza 12) Anderson has had quite a severe haircut for his return. A maiden, if without quite the zip of vintage JA.

8th over: South Africa 28-1 (Markram 16, Hamza 12) The South Africans have very jaunty green numbers on their backs. A not particularly special over from Broad, and Markram and Hamza bat them away without too many problems

Morning Tanya,

7th over: South Africa 25-1 (Markram 16, Hamza 9) Anderson is probing away at Hamza. Atherton points out that you can see a lot of his stumps. It’s hot out there by the way, up in the early thirties, and humid.

6th over: South Africa 24-1 (Markram 16, Hamza 8) Broad reasserts some control with a maiden. Hamza is one to watch.

If you’ve not watched Hamza before, he batted like an absolute dream against Pakistan on debut back in Jan, scored 62 in tricky circumstances recently against India in his second Test and averages more than 50 in first class cricket.

He could be very, very good.

5th over: South Africa 24-1 (Markram 16, Hamza 8) A flurry of runs as Anderson goes for a most uncharacteristic 11 from the over.
Markram dispatches two fours in a row, a wristy swish before throwing himself at a short wide one which flies over the outstretched hand of Root at slip. For dessert, a back foot drive for three.

4rd over: South Africa 13-1 (Markram 5, Hamza 8) Broad is experimenting, wide of off stump, short and a good length.Hamza gets him away for two, punching him down the ground.

@tjaldred - Whats the technical term for a first ball duck at the start of a series. Hairy, Golden, Platinum Duck?

3rd over: South Africa 10-1 (Markram 4, Hamza 6) The only bowler with 150 caps runs in, joints as oiled as a seal. A maiden.

It’s the time of year, to contemplate the divine on earth. Matt Dony has spotted him, at Centurion. “At what point do we have have to admit that Anderson probably isn’t human, and face the ethical problems arising from that realisation? 37 years old. Fast bowler. Leading the line and Taking Test wickets regularly. It’s not right...

2nd over: South Africa 10-1 (Markram 4, Hamza 6) At the other end, Joe Root throws the new ball to Broad, so in their first match together, Anderson and Archer won’t share the new ball. Ah, that’s a lovely shot from Markram, straight down the ground for four, a gentle caress. Markram has been out with a broken wrist sustained punching a wall after being given out for a duck in Pune.

1st over: South Africa 5-1 (Markram (RHB) 0, Hamza 5)Hamza walks out to a gob-struck Centurion, in only his third Test. That was a bit of a shocker from Elgar to an Anderson loosener, a gloved aside to Buttler, the dud joke in the Christmas cracker A typically probing over from Anderson follows.

And Jeremy, we have an answer from Anthony Noel (thanks, Anthony) - the coverage of this series is on TalkSport not TMS.

Elgar tries half-heartedly to clip Anderson off his hip and Anderson has a wicket with the very first ball of the series!

There’s a bit of a delay as someone, a photographer perhaps, seems to have fallen over on the boundary. Anderson waits at the top of his run.

Does anyone please have the TMS overseas link for Jeremy Dresner?

Something to mull over...

England fielding an all-seam attack for the second match in succession. Partly a reflection of conditions at Centurion, partly the state of English spin. Last time this happened, I believe, was two home Tests v Pakistan in 2001

Flu-gate:

England will be without Chris Woakes, Ollie Pope and Jack Leach for the Boxing Day Test. They all remain in quarantine at the team hotel with flu

South Africa: Dean Elgar, Aiden Markram, Zubayr Hamza, Faf du Plessis, Rassie van der Dussen, Quinton de Kock, Dwaine Pretorius, Vernon Philnder, Keshav Maharaj, Kagiso Rabada, Anrich Nortie.

England: Rory Burns, Dom Sibley, Joe Denly, Joe Root, Ben Stokes, Jonny Bairstow, Jos Buttler, Sam Curran, Jofra Archer, James Anderson, Stuart Broad.

Mike Atherton on the toss. “All the chat is that this pitch deteriorates at the back end of the game, fine to bowl first but you better damn well make sure you get a first-innings lead.”

And a straight-talkin Christmas to you too Mike!

Joe Root has won the toss and will bowl. “It is quite a tricky decision to make but we think it is a great opportunity on this track.”

Jack Leach isn’t fit, Ben Stokes is playing, they go in with a five-man attack.

In the Boxing Day Test at the MCG, Australia are on top, thanks to fifties from Marnus Labuschagne and Steve Smith, despite Trent Boult dispatching Joe Burns’s stumps with the first ball of the game. As it happened, here.

Related: Australia v New Zealand: Boxing Day Test, day one – as it happened

Gary Naylor is up bright and early. Happy Christmas!

Do England players not have a flu jab in October @tjaldred? Once you have one, you don't go an Autumn without it.

A couple of stats as Sky warms up - in the last decade, Centurion has been the worst Test ground for spin bowlers. And, this morning, Jimmy Anderson becomes the first bowler to play 150 Tests. Ever. He and Stuart Broad are playing darts with Ian Ward. They talk about bowling with the kookaburra ball. “The balls are different here,” says Anderson. “They’ve got a slightly different seam, it feels harder, you might get ten overs of decent swing. The atmospheric conditions here are good, so are the pitches, you get carry. We’re thinking it is going to be different to how it was in New Zealand.”

I hope yesterday was full of good cheer and good people. To those who were unhappy, a virtual hug: come, there’s plenty of space on the OBO sofa. The chocolate orange is on me.

Over in Centurion, they’re preparing for the big one - the face off between the bottom and sixth placed sides in the World Test Championship, the first of four Tests between South Africa and England.

South Africa are not in the greatest health. They’ve have a tumultuous six months - off-field boardroom shenanigans, disputes with players, loss of a sponsor, revoking of journalists accreditation, whitewashed in a Test series in India - but now sit with a formidable new top table team: (interim) director of cricket Graeme Smith, coach Mark Boucher and batting coach Jacques Kallis. Team-wise, Temba Bavuma is out with injury, and South Africa are likely to play two Test newbies, batsman Rassie van der Dussen, South Africa’s second-highest run-scorer in the World Cup, and allrounder Dwaine Pretorius. Meanwhile, all-rounder Vernon Philander has announced his retirement at the end of the series

Hope that’s wet your whistle. See you here soon, play starts at 8am GMT.

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Australia v New Zealand: Boxing Day Test, day two – as it happened

December 26, 2019, 11:42 pm
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And here’s the report of day two at the MCG.

Related: Travis Head gets his hundred before quicks keep Australia in charge at MCG

If Australia shaded Boxing Day they stamped their authority all over this Test match on day two against New Zealand, batting the tourists into distraction for most of the day and then firing out two top-order stars before the close. The Kiwis are already facing an uphill task to avoid consecutive humiliating defeats.

Steve Smith laid the platform, patiently accumulating 85 before Travis Head (114) took on the job of shepherd, inching to his second Test century and securing his short-term future in the process. He put on a momentum-changing 150 with Tim Paine whose dashing 79 was his highest Test score as captain. A late slog for quick runs ended with Australia all out for 467, a first innings total well above par considering the amount of movement on offer with the new ball.

18th over: New Zealand 44-2 (Latham 9, Taylor 2) Lyon gets another opportunity and he finds a tempting line and length outside off stump that has Taylor watchfully smothering anything coming his way.

17th over: New Zealand 43-2 (Latham 9, Taylor 1) Pattinson continues to hurl himself into his work but Latham is up to the task, defending anything straight, leaving anything wide, and working a couple off his pads for good measure.

16th over: New Zealand 41-2 (Latham 7, Taylor 1) Nathan Lyon with an early look at the pitch and he begins by inducing a thick edge from Latham’s lope forward. Not much else worth reporting as New Zealand put their shots away with the close of play under ten minutes away.

Cummins’ superb opening spell was seven overs, one for eight, by the way.

15th over: New Zealand 40-2 (Latham 6, Taylor 1) Oh boy, if Cummins to Latham is a match-up Australia like then they love Pattinson to Taylor. The first ball of the over is clipped in the air to short leg but it’s too hot to hold for the man under the lid. The second rips through Taylor’s forward press, smacks into the pad and umpire Erasmus raises his finger! TAYLOR REVIEWS, AND DRS INDICATES THE BALL WAS BOUNCING OVER THE TOP. That was full enough to give with the naked eye but Taylor survives.

Official attendance for Day 2 of the Boxing Day Test is 59,676 #AUSvNZ

14th over: New Zealand 40-2 (Latham 6, Taylor 1) Latham is not happy at all repeatedly facing Cummins. His latest interrogation features a short ball that leaves a cherry red mark on his white shirt just below his silver fern. Pinned to his crease Cummins then targets the pads but Latham gets enough bat in the way to prolong his torture.

Take that, Dunedin! You idiots!! https://t.co/BQQ3wXlhIk

13th over: New Zealand 39-2 (Latham 6, Taylor 0) To use host broadcaster parlance, Pattinson is up and about. When he gets his tail up like this he reminds me of a juvenile Rottweiler, muscular and eager, with that slight hint of undomesticated menace about him. With the added energy boost of his wicket he beats Latham for pace and arrows in a superb yorker that is only just repelled.

Full and wide from Pattinson so Williamson reaches and strokes a cover drive that travels about as far as a cricket ball can in a Test arena without touching a rope. The all-run four means Williamson retains the strike and he perishes next ball! Quick and short from Pattinson, tucking Williamson up, but the Kiwi skipper nonetheless tries the pull, but he can only top-edge high in the air for Paine to run around to leg-gully and pouch the catch. Huge dismissal. Australia steamrollering their way through this match now.

12th over: New Zealand 35-1 (Latham 6, Williamson 5) Latham accepts a rare invitation to get forward and pushes a couple through the covers. The movement and timing probably warranted a boundary but Latham’s closed bat face once again proved his undoing. Ricky Ponting then goes on to forensically examine Latham’s flawed technique, concluding that it is not good, especially outside off stump. Cummins illustrates the point by whistling a delivery past the outside edge, getting one to hold its line from around the wicket.

11th over: New Zealand 33-1 (Latham 4, Williamson 5) Pattinson must bowl about the heaviest ball in the game. It really does thud into the bat. New Zealand play him well this over though, trusting the length, and the pitch, which has so far not misbehaved since the innings break.

59,675 at the MCG today. Super day 2 crowd #AUSvNZ

10th over: New Zealand 31-1 (Latham 3, Williamson 4) The first slightly wayward over from Cummins in his spell but Latham can only fashion two from it, missing out on a leg stump full toss. This is Cummins we’re talking about, so even a below-par set of six contains the odd pearler, including the final delivery that cuts Latham in half and almost grazes the inside-edge of his bat.

During the drinks break another AFL footballer is interviewed by the host broadcaster. That particular intervention with Steele Sidebottom was about as vapid as you could design, including an admission from Sidebottom that he’d never watched a Test at the G before, which is about as un-Victorian as it gets.

9th over: New Zealand 29-1 (Latham 1, Williamson 4) Time for James Pattinson, and the parochial Victorian crowd roars its approval. Pattinson is a big strong fella, built like a rugby union centre, or the trunk of a gum tree in the Dandenong Ranges. He starts well, finding a Cummins-like line and length in excess of 140kph. Williamson squirts a single behind point and Latham scampers a leg-bye as New Zealand inch their score along as the final drinks break of the day begins.

8th over: New Zealand 27-1 (Latham 1, Williamson 3) Cummins now coming around the wicket to Latham, and he almost gets his man with a beauty that jags in off the seam and almost finds the inside edge. Cummins ends the over with his third maiden, moreover, there’s been just one scoring shot in the 24 deliveries he’s sent down this afternoon so far.

Test wickets in Calendar Year 2019:
55* PCummins
41* NLyon, SBroad
40* MStarc, NWagner
33* TSouthee
33 MShami, JHazlewood

7th over: New Zealand 27-1 (Latham 1, Williamson 3) Williamson can’t resist chasing a wide one off Starc and he almost perishes in the gully. Starc then bowls a bouncer so high it’s called a wide then slings down a wicked in-swinging yorker. Line and length then completes the variations from this fast bowling enigma.

6th over: New Zealand 26-1 (Latham 1, Williamson 3) Williamson off the mark with a late cut for three down to third-man, but the over belonged to Pat Cummins and yet another demonstration of his class. Simply too good for Tom Blundell. He needed just three sighters before landing the ball on the precise line and length required to snare his man. Wonderful controlled fast bowling.

Blundell has started positively but the signs of some technical deficiencies are starting to emerge. He does like to feel bat on ball away from his body... and right on cue... he drives at a tempting length and feathers a regulation behind. Terrific start for Australia and another selection headache at the top of the order for the Kiwis.

5th over: New Zealand 23-0 (Latham 1, Blundell 15) There’s that backfoot drive again from Blundell, right up en pointe, guiding Starc through point for three. Australia’s big quick is reaching some tasty speeds but his radar isn’t quite calibrated.

4th over: New Zealand 20-0 (Latham 1, Blundell 12) If Starc to Blundell is unpredictable and full of incident, Cummins to Latham is a study of discipline. The bowler, charging in over the wicket, is aiming to hit the seam and angle the ball away from the batsman just short of a good length. Latham is watchful, hanging back and leaving as often as he can. He is doing so as much on height as line but it almost undoes him late in the over when Cummins produces the one that goes the other way and almost pins his man LBW.

3rd over: New Zealand 20-0 (Latham 1, Blundell 12) Beautiful shot from Blundell, emerging from his crouch like a sunflower addressing the sky , standing tall, and executing a classic backfoot square drive for four. Starc, with his dander up, then hurls down his first bouncer of the day and it flies and flies and flies, over the batsman, over the keeper, one bounce for four byes! Oh dear. On its way to the fence the ball thumped into the robot camera that patrols the boundary and hit it with such force the nearly-new Kookaburra needs replacing. The second ball of the innings is soon back where the first one perished, courtesy of a fine glance for four. All action at the MCG with Starc touching 150kph.

2nd over: New Zealand 8-0 (Latham 1, Blundell 4) Cummins shares the new ball and he almost has Latham first up! Short and on the hip Latham can only glove nervously around the corner and look on in relief as the Kookaburra lands between short-leg and the keeper. The remainder of the over is angled across the batsman, the final delivery beating the outside edge for pace and bounce.

“Afternoon Jonathan from a rather grey and very strike-bound Paris. (France, not Texas),” Gervase Greene, always a pleasure to hear from you. “I have been waiting much of the day for Pain(e) to miscue a square cut down to fine-leg off CdG so I could contribute a witty bon mot on this game of French cricket. Like hopeful passengers on the Metro, I’m still waiting.”

1st over: New Zealand 8-0 (Latham 1, Blundell 4) Starc opens with a no-ball that the left-handed Latham works away for a single. The right-handed Blundell then survives a nifty in-swinger before nudging off his pads for his first two runs as a Test opener. A couple more follow soon after for Blundell, who is very still and very crouched at the crease. The over ends with Blundell playing and missing a howitzer that thunders into Paine’s gloves.

No bouncer from Starc that over so it’s hard to discern what the pitch is doing. There was a bit of shape in the air but nothing prodigious.

The heavy roller rumbles away from centre stage. Mitchell Starc prowls at the top of his mark. Toms Latham and Blundell adjust their grilles. Here we go!

The obvious question now is: how will the pitch behave? It’s hard to answer conclusive I’m afraid. The surface is generally on the slowish side but there are the small indentations created yesterday by the new ball on the soft top that allow for occasional uneven bounce. If Australia’s taller, faster, pacemen can hit those pock marks, the wicket could prove a handful. Trent Boult found those spots in his most recent spell and there was enough in his effort balls to suggest the New Zealand openers will not relish the conditions.

Australia’s first innings began poorly with the cheap dismissal of Joe Burns but it’s been all uphill since then, ending with a very healthy 467. Travis Head’s second Test century is the standout individual score but much is owed to Steve Smith for grafting his way through 242 deliveries when New Zealand were at their most threatening. Tim Paine’s rapid 79 gave the innings some impetus late-on, setting up the post-tea thrash.

What have New Zealand got in response?

That’s your lot. Lyon can’t resist hooking Southee and he helps it all the way to the safe hands of Wagner on the fine-leg boundary.

155th over: Australia 467-9 (Pattinson 14, Lyon 1) Wagner is hunting a five-for but he can’t bag it this over. Pattinson looks to be ending any debate over who bats eight in the future when he lines up alongside both Cummins and Starc.

154th over: Australia 463-9 (Pattinson 11, Lyon 0) Before Cummins’ wicket Pattinson absolutely smoked Southee through midwicket for four. After it Lyon dabbed three defensive prods.

Another one goes hitting out, Cummins this time, swiping Southee to midwicket where Latham holds on.

153rd over: Australia 458-8 (Pattinson 6, Cummins 0) Australia continue to bat on despite the wickets falling and Wagner - in the 153rd over of the innings - celebrates a wicket-maiden.

Head holes out, miscuing Wagner high to point where Santner takes a simple running catch. Superb innings. Deserves the standing ovation from 50,000+ inside the MCG.

152nd over: Australia 458-7 (Head 114, Pattinson 6) Southee is just cannon fodder now with Australia in T20 mode, but with the field well-placed he concedes just four singles.

151st over: Australia 454-7 (Head 112, Pattinson 4) Edges, run outs, LBW appeals, Mitchell Santner, nothing has gone right for New Zealand this match so far. And Head, of course, rubs salt into the wounds, ramping Wagner for four then belting him for four like a Roger Federer crosscourt backhand. Australia are now out here for a good time, not a long time.

Wagner invites Williamson to go upstairs again in search of an LBW and it looks a good call. He beats Head down the leg-side with the batter well across his stumps. Was there an inside-edge? DRS reveals it is as close to out as you can get but the margin for error on height is just - barely - umpire’s call, so Head survives. New Zealand’s poor fortune continues to stalk them.

150th over: Australia 444-7 (Head 104 Pattinson 4) After Head raised his bat, Pattinson leaned into a cover drive sweeter than any we’ve seen all Test. Sumptuous timing for four. Australia hurtling towards a declaration now.

By the way, Head is the first South Australian since... Jason Gillespie to score a Test century.

The batsmen crossed during Starc’s dismissal, meaning Head is on strike for a possible five deliveries of Southee’s over. He needs only two to bring up his second Test century, driving square on the off-side for four, removing his helmet and smiling in relief after finally converting one of his many starts into an historic contribution.

Southee replaces Santner and jags a wicket first ball. Starc tried to send a mid-iron into the Yarra but he chunked it, lobbing a simple catch to mid-on. Both Cummins and Pattinson must be giggling into their Fast Bowling Cartel (TM) apparel.

149th over: Australia 435-6 (Head 99, Starc 1) #Declarationspeculation just got exciting. Intrigue over who would bat eight for Australia was supposed to be about Cummins and Pattinson but out strides Starc, presumably to long-handle a few en route to a declaration sooner rather than later. He does his bit for Head and gets off strike smartish, but the man 99 not out cannot squeeze his way to a ton from three Wagner deliveries despite one of them being a knee-high slow full toss.

Wagner comes around the wicket for the second over after tea, and he begins with a full fast delivery that raps Paine on his front pad. An LBW appeal follows, declined on-filed, but sent upstairs by Williamson. DRS has to consider whether Paine got his pad outside the line (he didn’t) and whether the ball would have bounced over the bails (it wouldn’t) which means the Aussie skipper has to depart for a well-made 79.

148th over: Australia 434-5 (Head 99, Paine 79) Single to Paine, then a single to Head, a couple of dots, then Santner beats Paine for bounce before the skipper pinches a single to leave Head at the non-striker’s end on 99 at the start of the next over.

Out we come after TEA, boys still pushing hard...

Head 98*
Paine 77*
431/5 | https://t.co/N6jpmeRPFE#AUSvNZ#cricketnationpic.twitter.com/xFOfiNlVMf

Ian Loiterton (not using his wife’s phone today, it must be stressed) has combined storylines, roping in both Graeme Hick and dodgy declarations into this awkward moment in Ashes history.

“This in response to an earlier tweet asking about declarations that left a batsman short of a milestone - from Wisden’s all time list of notorious declarations:

In the mid-90s, England’s cricketers were on a downer. But contriving to sabotage a positive position in an Ashes Test was some effort, even by their standards. After bowling Australia out for 116 to lead by 198 on first innings, captain Mike Atherton wanted quick runs to set the Aussies a stiff target and have time to bowl them out again. But irritated by Graeme Hick’s slow scoring – 36 runs in 80 minutes on the fourth afternoon – he declared with Hick just two runs shy of a maiden Ashes century. The match petered out into a draw, and Hick allegedly refused to speak to Athers for the remainder of the tour.”

Peter Kell is on the front line at the MCG, and the news is worrying. “After 3 o’clock, patrons at the bar in the Great Southern Stand are restricted to two beers per customer. They are serving weak mid-strength beer, hardly conducive to a mutiny. But there is a stampede for the urinals. Maybe the MCG is going retro as it’s US army camp days as Camp Murphy when it was dry and alcohol free? Maybe the corporate bars and areas are the only places to get full strength beer?”. Thoughts and prayers Peter, thoughts and prayers.

Australia have progressively asphyxiated New Zealand during this Test and they tightened their grip during a dominant afternoon session. There is surely now only one possible winner in this match, all that remains to be seen is if the Kiwis can mount a rearguard with the bat to force a draw.

Join us in about 20 minutes or so when we’ll find out if Head and Paine can raise their bats, and for an escalation in #Declarationspeculation.

147th over: Australia 431-5 (Head 98, Paine 77) Maiden from Boult. Head will have to stew over his brew during the tea break.

146th over: Australia 431-5 (Head 98, Paine 77) Head moves to 98 courtesy of another Santner over with all the menace of a mung bean. Can he sneak to three figures before Tea?

145th over: Australia 428-5 (Head 96, Paine 76) Travis Head has toiled in the 90s like a studio engineer on a Smashing Pumpkins record. His wait for a ton is now in excess of 30 minutes.

Michale Barker has joined in the #Declarationspeculation. “So, what’s the magic number for the declaration, or is it a magic time of the day today?” I reckon it’s a time thing. There are 34 overs left in the day. Australia would want around 15 of them at New Zealand I’d guess, so a declaration in around 20 overs or so feels right to me. Head cramping up on his way to a ton has confused matters, but I reckon Australia will come out after tea in T20 mode and blast it for an hour before jogging in.

144th over: Australia 422-5 (Head 95, Paine 76) Santner continues his filler overs. He is to Test bowling today what Diagnosis Murder or Escape To The Country are for TV schedulers.

143rd over: Australia 417-5 (Head 92, Paine 74) Desperate to hold our attention Paine and Head almost conspire for a run out but the latter makes his ground following an unnecessarily tight single. Boult responds by flinging down the most fearsome couple of deliveries of the day - and perhaps the match - that will have Mitchell Starc and James Pattinson licking their lips. Both balls short, but not on Boult’s toes, and both had Travis Head hopping nervously and flinching inside the line.

142nd over: Australia 417-5 (Head 92, Paine 74) Santner, and New Zealand, going through the motions. Three off the over.

This has sparked plenty of debate during the Test...

200 dollars a head....free lemonade or Prosecco! Bring back bay 13 and look after the mob. They are cricket’s true parishioners. https://t.co/0XOSeK40S5

141st over: Australia 414-5 (Head 91, Paine 72) Trent Boult replaces Neil Wagner in some forlorn attempt by Kane Williamson to convince us New Zealand remain committed to taking 20 wickets. The paceman goes for three in an over highlighted by a Paine drive that was timed sweetly but just reminded all involved that this multi-paced surface is far from a road.

This, this is why I do this job.

“Hi Jonathan,” hi Keith. “Your story about AEJ Collins smashing 628 not out reminded me of the last day of school back in 1988. Most of the kids didn’t turn up. Another teacher and myself set up the Kanga Cricket set and told the 20 or so kids around that they could have a bat when they got either Mr Hume or myself out. At little lunch, we were 394-0 and the fielding side had reduced to 14. By lunch, we had pushed on to 781-0. Humey had survived a couple of close LBW decisions and I had been caught off a no ball. Only six fielders returned after the main break and they lost interest when they discovered we weren’t going to declare. Not sure what the total was when the last kid gave up but we were well beyond a thousand. It sounds mean but we calculated that between us we had spent more than 230 lunchtimes that year coaching cricket and had become very adept at eating while standing.”

140th over: Australia 411-5 (Head 91, Paine 69) Just the one from Santner’s latest over.

139th over: Australia 410-5 (Head 91, Paine 68) Wagner bowls some chin music to Paine, who is circumspect, until he hooks just short of fine-leg. Head then allows his thigh-pad to deflect four leg-byes. I reckon we’re 20-25 overs until the declaration, allowing Australia 15-20 overs at New Zealand tonight.

138th over: Australia 405-5 (Head 91, Paine 67) Nobody winced at any of Santner’s deliveries that over. So that’s a win, right? He’s still 0-68 from 15 overs this Boxing Day Test and clearly lost the confidence of his skipper though.

Australia are now on 405 - the sum their batting coach achieved all on his own a few years ago.

Related: Cricket: Vic Marks remembers Graeme Hick's innings of 405 against Somerset in 1988

137th over: Australia 402-5 (Head 90, Paine 65) Paine moves to his second highest Test score with a dab into the off-side. It’s the only scoring shot of an over of Wagner bumpers that features Paine charging the Kiwi like a confident physics teacher demonstrating some kind of scientific principle that prevents Wagner bowling a delivery low enough to hit a man of average height on the move.

This is the 4th Test at the MCG for #AusvNZ, but until THead and TPaine got togther today, there had only previously been one Australian century partnership - 128 between KStackpole and IChappell in 1973.

136th over: Australia 401-5 (Head 90, Paine 64) “It’s another pie” exclaims Ricky Ponting, after one delivery of Mitchell Santner’s over, with pain coursing through his commentary, like a restaurant critic enduring the world’s worst degustation. That pie went for four, by the way. Australia pass 400. #Declarationspeculation must be 4.30-5pm, right?

135th over: Australia 395-5 (Head 85, Paine 63) The hopelessness of the situation isn’t going to stop Neil Wagner from committing every ounce of energy to chucking bouncers at Australian batsmen. He does so again for the 32nd time this Test and after striking a glancing blow to Travis Head he concedes a few runs. Tim Paine now has his highest Test score as skipper.

This is splendid sh*tposting. Very subtle, bravo.

@JPHowcroft Adam Collins has put you down for a couple of tons, but I'd love to know whether there's ever been an instance of a declaration leaving a batter just shy of a milestone?

Related: Like the greats before him, David Warner's triple century was a giant feat in a dull game | Geoff Lemon

134th over: Australia 391-5 (Head 83, Paine 62) Santner bowls, Australia score runs; get used to this for the next couple of hours. This match has lost all its vim and is unlikely to find it again until this pair turn on the afterburners and set a declaration target.

Now Adam’s taken his leave remember to retune your emails and tweets to the following addresses: @JPHowcroft and jonathan.howcroft.casual@theguardian.com.

Thank you very much Adam, my favourite trans-Tasman cricketing A Collins since AEJ Collins. Arthur Edward Jeune Collins, I’m sure you recall, held the record for the highest ever score for over a century. As a schoolboy in 1899 he smashed 628 not out. Hilariously, nobody else in the match passed 50. Although AEJ wasn’t a Kiwi himself, he was part of a cricketing lineage that extended to New Zealand and he is featured in the New Zealand Cricket Museum in Wellington. Tragically, he died aged only 29 during the first battle of Ypres.

133rd over: Australia 383-5 (Head 82, Paine 61) Wagner is back and Head backs himself to take on the short ball right away, uppercutting the first bouncer over the cordon for a boundary that moves him into the 80s and the partnership beyond 100. The quicker bumper comes later, which Head wisely ducks. Drinks! I’ll pass the baton to JP Howcroft, who can take you through to a couple of tons. Enjoy!

132nd over: Australia 383-5 (Head 76, Paine 61) Head once again gets off strike from the first ball of the over - good batting. They exchange a couple more through the field. I’ve said it before and will again: this is drifting. New Zealand have really blown the opportunity they earned for themselves earlier today. We’re already nearing the territory where only one team can realistically win the Test Match.

131st over: Australia 380-5 (Head 74, Paine 60) Santner gives Head a ball to push away for one to begin, the spinner then keeping Paine quiet until the final delivery, which he sweeps really well and fine enough for four more. Into the 60s he goes.

“Love four sessions for a day test,” tweets Dan Pollard in response to OB Jato’s idea. “Brilliant idea, especially in a hot Australian summer.”

130th over: Australia 375-5 (Head 73, Paine 56) That’s excellent batting from the captain, leaving CdG a couple of times, defending him with soft hands then leaping on the half-volley that arrives when striving for something more, cover driving for four. These two have put on 91. There’s no reason Australia won’t try to bat until late this afternoon, giving enough time for - I’ll say it again - a Paine ton.

129th over: Australia 371-5 (Head 73, Paine 52) Santer is bowling and doing so with a bit of enthusiasm, stopping a Head drive in his follow through. Warne and Waugh aren’t that interested on TV, discussing hats and haircuts and so on.

128th over: Australia 369-5 (Head 72, Paine 51) Head plays and misses a third time in three overs at CdG deliveries he would be far better served leaving alone. He keeps the strike with one to cover. The game might be drifting but this can’t be another of those days where the South Australian falls short of three figures.

127th over: Australia 368-5 (Head 71, Paine 51) Santner is back for his ninth over - or seventh spell, if you prefer. It’s not a bad one. All the same, it prompts a Warne/Waugh chat about bowlers who have lost their way on the biggest stage. Poor old Simon ‘Milo’ Kerrigan gets a mention. As does Glenn Trimble, who famously had a ‘mare on debut in 1986. A gift from me to you - the video.

126th over: Australia 367-5 (Head 70, Paine 51) Head is once again beaten by CdG, who is making him earn everything here en route to what might be his second Test ton. There remains no hurry for either of him - they have a big base now. He’s better to finish, pushing a quick single to mid-off. Positive calling and running.

OB Jato has a left-of-field idea for us to consider. “Following is an amended version of a proposal I had sent you earlier: we should play with the pink ball in all Test matches (it is a work in progress but good enough). We also take a fifteen-minutes break at the end of the third session, and return for a ‘fourth session’. The first three can be shorter in duration (24 overs each) to ensure the same amount of significant play happens in the fourth one, with the players recharged and at the top of their games more frequently than what a Test’s current format allows. The presence of this ‘fourth session’ will contribute to more dynamic passages of play tactics, especially under the lights, and also attract bigger crowds to the match after working hours. Thoughts?” I’ll open it up.

125th over: Australia 366-5 (Head 69, Paine 51) Southee changes it up to go around the wicket at Paine by the end of this over. “He’s a bit of a compulsive puller,” notes Mike Hussey of the Australian captain as he launches into that very stroke, smashing the bowler off the back foot with the horizontal bat to bring up his seventh Test half-century in just 72 balls. He’s batted wonderfully.

124th over: Australia 361-5 (Head 68, Paine 47) Blundell is off, de Grandhomme his replacement. As my man Dan Norcross - helming the BT Sport overnight coverage - notes, Blundell only bowled nine overs in First Class cricket before that spell. Why wouldn’t Williamson back himself in that situation? Anyway, it’s over now but let’s be happy it happened. CdG is right on it, prompting a waft from Head. He’s got to be leaving that alone - this is the de Grandhomme playbook: bore you senseless. He makes Paine play later in the over, finding his edge with one that shaped nicely away from the right-hander. Excellent return to the attack.

One of the great subplots of Test cricket is batsmen who seem to do it easy but never make hundreds. Head makes for very interesting viewing from here.

123rd over: Australia 360-5 (Head 67, Paine 47) Four more for Paine when taking on Southee’s bumper, his hook landing just inside the rope before crossing it. A better stroke through covers follows, a couple more added. He’s positively fluent.

Speaking of the excellent MCG crowd, good areas from them here:

The New gentrification bay 13 booed along with the members at the G today during Mexican wave.

122nd over: Australia 354-5 (Head 67, Paine 41) Tom, mate, don’t let me down. I’ve just talked you up. This is not a good over. There’s the half-tracker, the full toss. Another half-tracker. Very part-time. Head capitalises, carving four out past point.

121st over: Australia 348-5 (Head 62, Paine 40) Excellent innings this from Paine, just when the usual suspects are starting to vaguely agitate for Adam Gilchrist to return to the Test team. Sorry, I mean, Alex Carey to replace him asap. The skipper pulls Southee away for four to move into the 40s, getting into position nice and early. This might be his best chance for a Test ton since 2010 in India.

120th over: Australia 344-5 (Head 62, Paine 36) Blundell isn’t trash. The balls he gets up there on the dancefloor turn more than Santner’s have been. A bit like Raval in Perth, the part-timer might end up outbowling the main tweaker.

There are already 55,532 people in the MCG. Fantastic numbers. I wonder how many will be there on day two at Sydney next week? 20-something, I reckon.

119th over: Australia 343-5 (Head 62, Paine 35) Southee gets the first go from the Members’ End to start the session, keeping Paine honest on a solid line and length. A couple of times he finds the inside part of the bat, suggesting there’s still a little bit of movement to be found with this now 39-over old ball.

118th over: Australia 342-5 (Head 62, Paine 34) Blundell, barely walking to the crease for his first over in Test Match cricket, gives Head a gimme down the legside to move into the 60s. Thanks for coming. But he beats him with his next offering, turning it a long way past the edge. “You do not want to get out to someone like this,” insists Mike Hussey on the telly. Neither do here. Another one? I reckon so.

The players are back on the field. Tom Blundell is going to bowl the first over! Some offies. Unorthodox from Williamson. Head is on strike - he’s 57. PLAY!

If a podcast is more your vibe, Geoff Lemon and I had Mel Jones on for a long chat, across a great many topics, for our Final Word Christmas Special. Enjoy!

A lunch break read for you. About the great Johnny Mullagh.

Related: Johnny Mullagh was one of Australia's first cricketing heroes. His story deserves wider recognition

Australia’s session. But it wasn’t necessarily trending that way into the second hour, the Black Caps giving up just 27 runs in the first stanza then picking up Smith shortly thereafter on 85. It was Wagner once again sorting him out with an excellent short ball, taking just as superbly by Nicholls with one hand in the gully. They earned the wicket and thus the chance to race through the home side’s lower order but Paine was having none of that, the captain putting the foot straight down to transfer the pressure back onto the tourists. With Head - who advanced his score from 25 overnight to 57 at the break - they have put on 52 in just 74 balls. They can now sit down to a sandwich knowing that 400 is well within their grasp.

117th over: Australia 336-5 (Head 57, Paine 33) Last over before lunch but that doesn’t dissuade Paine from going at a Santner half-tracker first up, pulling it away with ease. He looked good in the first dig at Perth and he’s very much on the money so far today. He goes again at the penultimate delivery, cutting hard from deep in the crease, once again running away to the rope. It beings up the 50 partnership between this pair from 73 balls. To finish the job for now the captain pulls a couple more, making 12 from the over - the most productive of the session.

116th over: Australia 324-5 (Head 57, Paine 21) Not a lot going on with Big Col, so Watling comes up to the stumps. After a very neat and disciplined first 80 minutes or so, New Zealand’s intensity has fallen away at just the wrong time.

115th over: Australia 322-5 (Head 56, Paine 20) Santner is back for his sixth spell. “In the 70s,” says Kerry O’Keeffe, “if you bowled seven overs in five spells it was because you had a hangover.” Very good. The spinner is under a bit of pressure, needing to find a way to get his name in the book far more often. That doesn’t happen here, three runs added when missing his length. Two overs until lunch.

114th over: Australia 319-5 (Head 55, Paine 18) It is nearing lunch but this is Australia’s most productive period of the session so they keep on keeping on, taking five runs from de Grandhomme without any risks to speak of. Good batting.

113th over: Australia 314-5 (Head 51, Paine 17) Wagner does go again - he’s unstoppable. Bharat Sundaresan, who watches closer than anyone in the press box, noted yesterday that he regularly goes back to his mark after the sixth ball not realising his over is done. He just wants to bowl all the time. Paine has shown real intent since walking out, pulling hard through square leg to the sweeper for one. Head keeps the strike with a single to cover. They’ve put on 30 in 50 balls. Solid.

Travis Head has 50. A job half done so far. "You've got to make sure that doesn't mean that much to you. The hundreds are the really big scores you have to make as a batsman," says Ponting on @7Cricket#AusvNZ

112th over: Australia 312-5 (Head 50, Paine 16) Rewaded for his patience, Head moves to his eighth Test half-century to go with the ton he made at Canberra in February. He reaches the mark with a drive through cover off de Grandhomme, worth a couple. We said off the top that this is a big day in his story. “Is this the day that Travis Head said that I belong?” asks Kerry O’Keeffe, along those same lines.

111th over: Australia 310-5 (Head 48, Paine 16) That’ll be enough for Wagner for now I reckon, this his eighth over going for seven with Head driving three down the ground to begin then Paine getting on top of the bounce to steer a boundary behind point. But he’s still banging it in there to finish. Another fine spell.

110th over: Australia 303-5 (Head 45, Paine 12) Boult replaced by de Grandhomme for his first trundle today, on to restrict the runs with his accurate medium pace. Head is off strike first up with one to point, Paine defending and leaving the rest.

109th over: Australia 302-5 (Head 44, Paine 12) Paine deals well with the Wagner interrogation, ducking and weaving as required but also looking to pull. How long can he keep going in this spell? He’s been on for seven overs on the bounce.

108th over: Australia 302-5 (Head 44, Paine 12) Paine on the counterattack, hammering Boult through cover with a picture-perfect cover drive. “Shot of the day,” says Warne on the telly before they quickly return to talking about Alex Carey. The skipper is into double figures two balls later with a delightful clip. A ropey wide one to finish and Head obliges, throwing his hands at a cut. He doesn’t control the stroke, through the air just the fielder, but it completes the biggest over of the day - worth 11, taking Australia beyond 300. The replay shows that Santner nearly got a hand to it at point. Now back to the main game: Neil Wagner.

107th over: Australia 291-5 (Head 40, Paine 5) Wagner is right in this game, beating Paine again with a short ball that fizzes past the outside edge. Superb bowling. He pulled him well to start the over, picking up three to boost the confidence, but the thing about Wagner is he never allows a new batsman to settle. 40 minutes until lunch, so, about eight overs. The most important mini-session of the Test so far.

106th over: Australia 286-5 (Head 39, Paine 1) Boult’s picked up his pace after the wicket, sensing an opportunity against the new man Paine, beating him with one that cuts across the right hander from over the wicket. He’s off the mark with a push to point from the next ball, albeit after some nervous running. Head’s turn and he cops a biting bouncer, playing it well with soft hands with the ball reaching him with both feet off the ground. Boult’s best over today by a long way.

105th over: Australia 284-5 (Head 38, Paine 0) Paine walks out with plenty to do for Australia if they are to push this score up towards 400. But forget about that, New Zealand have a chance to run through the lower order with the indefatigable Wagner going and going and going. Sure enough, he beats Paine first ball, the captain wafting nervously at one well outside the off stump. The Kiwi crowd love this bloke, giving him a mighty ovation at the end of the successful over.

Henry Nicholls holds onto it just by his fingertips! #AUSvNZpic.twitter.com/BK5TGfk9RL

Smith falls to Wagner’s short ball again! A fantastic short ball too, finding the shoulder of the bat. Nicholls had plenty of work to do at gully, pulling the catch in with one outstretched hand. Excellent, patient cricket from the Black Caps.

104th over: Australia 284-4 (Smith 85, Head 38) Boult is up and about with an lbw appeal to finish his over, cutting back at Head and beating his inside edge. But they elect not to review, the ball looking to go well over the top. Until that point, Smith was on strike and handling the attack without any concerns. That’s drinks. Australia made 27 runs in the hour across 14 patient overs. No hurry here.

103rd over: Australia 283-4 (Smith 84, Head 38) Oi! Wagner’s quicker bumper nearly whacks Head this time, anging from around the wicket at the left-hander. That’s the lenth. More smiles from Wagner and the Australians. He changes it up with the slower ball bouncer, which Head deflects down to Latham at bat pad. They’re giving them nothing in the field. The end of another probing over.

102nd over: Australia 281-4 (Smith 84, Head 36) Boult is swung around to the Great Southern Stand End and Head immediately enjoys getting stuck into a shorter ball outside the off stump, crashed away to the point rope. When on song, Head is probably the best cutter in Australia. He has a big chance today.

Wagner nails the bouncer - and Smith nearly catches himself! #AUSvNZ | https://t.co/Q5Lvt45rWOpic.twitter.com/qmyVIFdGyN

101st over: Australia 276-4 (Smith 84, Head 31) Australia were 292/4 after 100 overs in Perth, the TV tells me. New Zealand did better than the scorecard looked there, never coughing up more than 80 runs in a session - the problem was it too them five sessions to take ten wickets. Wagner is right on Head’s body with his first ball here, the left-hander able to deflect it tidily behind square for one. Over the wicket to Smith, he’s absolutely spot on with consecutive bouncers, the right-hander leaving both to go just over his helmet. After the second, Smith winks at Wagner. I like that a lot. He then hits Smith with his final delivery, the batsman trying to duck for a third time but it is too full so he’s clobbered on his front arm before the ball lands in his right glove! More smiles between the two. Top contest.

100th over: Australia 275-4 (Smith 84, Head 30) Southee misdirects his first to Smith here, called a wide. He finds his groove thereafter, working the angle across the right haner from around the wicket from a variety of lengths, giving him nothing to score off. Australia have added 18 runs in ten overs so far today.

99th over: Australia 274-4 (Smith 84, Head 30) Smith isn’t bothered by Wagner in their first exchanges of the day, taking a good look before flicking one off the hip. Head continues to use his bat against the short stuff, getting behind two lifters.

98th over: Australia 273-4 (Smith 83, Head 30) Southee around the wicket to Smith, backing in the Wagner attack from the other end. He flicks one to backward square before Head drives the last three balls to fielders in front of the wicket. I said off the top that New Zealand have a window this morning but it won’t be open for much longer. They have to stay the course at Smith.

97th over: Australia 272-4 (Smith 82, Head 30) Time for Wagner, and you know what that means. His first short one at Head wasn’t on target but the next couple were, aimed right in that difficult spot just below the shoulder. Head’s electing to play by default, jumping in line to defend with soft hands a couple of times. It’s that or the Matt Wade approach of wearing them on the body.

96th over: Australia 272-4 (Smith 82, Head 30) Not much for Southee so far this morning, Head getting well on top of an impotent short ball, pulling it away for three. He’s better to Smith, squaring him up with a good’un.

95th over: Australia 269-4 (Smith 82, Head 27) A better over from Boult, finding the outside portion of Smith’s bat early in the over before cutting him in half from around the wicket to finish with one that did plenty. Ian Smith on TV is lamenting Santner’s lack of penetration yesterday, only called upon for seven overs of spin.

94th over: Australia 267-4 (Smith 81, Head 27) So close to some luck for New Zealand! Smith’s straight drive clips Southee’s fingers in his follow through, deflecting back onto Head’s stumps. They go upstairs to check it out but he’s back into his ground in the nick of time. On strike later in the over, the left-hander is unlucky not to add a boundary to the score, the athletic Southee again in the act in his follow through, stopping a well-struck drive with one hand.

To whoever said that old-fashioned Test cricket with batsmen & bowlers testing each other’s patience has no place in today’s world. To whoever felt the @BLACKCAPS can’t pull in Test crowds. This is just a taste of the manic rush to get into the @MCG on Day Two #AUSvNZ@cricbuzzpic.twitter.com/gehg7S5mAu

93rd over: Australia 266-4 (Smith 80, Head 27)“You can never judge a pitch until both sides have batted on it,” insists Warne when Boult’s bumper leaps at Head two balls after a length delivery bounces before reaching the ‘keeper. Might be that kind of day. Defending off the back foot later in the over, the South Australia times it so well he gets two past the bowler - his first runs of the day. That’s the 50 partnership between the pair, brought up in 115 balls together.

92nd over: Australia 264-4 (Smith 80, Head 25) Whoa, four byes to start Southee’s morning from the Great Southern Stand End, a delivery that drifted down leg and kept swinging after passing Smith, beyond the diving left glove of Watling. When using his bat, Smith picks out the fielder at cover a couple of times. There’s a catcher now in at very straight and close midwicket, but he isn’t required here. The TV calls reminds us that Southee has never dismissed Smith in a Test.

91st over: Australia 260-4 (Smith 80, Head 25) Easy peasy, Smith into the 80s from the first ball of the day, steering a long half-volley through cover for three. It requires an athletic dive from Williamson on the rope, pulling up awkwardly after pulling the ball back in. By contrast, Head cops a beauty to begin, a bumper that follows his swaying helmet, the left-hander just getting his head out of the way. The visiting supporters love it. As the Test progresses, the percentage of New Zealand fans is likely to grow given they will surely be in for the full five days. The vice captain is making solid contact by the end of the over. Good re-start.

“Happy belated Christmas.” And to you, Ruth Purdue. “I for one can’t wait to see Cummins and Pattinson on this.”

The players are on the field! Boult has the ball in his hand for the first over of this second day, ready to race in from the MCC End. Smith is on strike. He’s counting the fielders, preparing to resume his innings on 77. PLAY!

“Morning Adam.” Hello, Andrew James. “Is it perhaps finally time for us armchair experts to take over as groundsman of the MCG? The recent Shield match clearly went too far, and now it appears to have swung back the other way. And will today see the famous Black Cap Bad Luck™ finally give them a few wickets in return for yesterday’s abject run? Unlikely when Smith is still at the crease, you’d think.”

Close watchers, I felt, were willing to give the MCG curator a bit of breathing space after the shambolic Shield round earlier this month. Sure, there was nothing good about the cancellation of that game - no excusing it. But you could see what he was trying to do, finding a way to prepare a lively Test track for the first time at the MCG since, gosh, 2010? That’s harder than it looks with the old drop-in technology he has inherited for the time being, which I don’t pretend to understand.

Kevin Roberts has just held a press conference. He was pumping the volume up on the day one success with over 80,000 in the MCG. That made it the eighth highest attendance ever at a day of Test cricket in Australia. Long story short: don’t expect New Zealand to wait 32 years for their next Boxing Day appearance.

In case you missed it, an eventful day at Centurion. The first of the South Africa v England series, four Tests coming up between them over the next four weeks.

Related: England happy with start after ‘tough week’ in South Africa, says Sam Curran

Dave Warner was on SEN radio ahead of play this morning.

LISTEN | "It's almost like an English wicket"

David Warner discusses the pitch at the MCG, Steve Smith's form, his hand and more

=====> https://t.co/EaBwSbEhJg#AUSvNZ

Some innings are bigger than others. For Travis Head, this really is one of those hits. Despite his impressive 2019 numbers, it’s clear the South Australian sits lowest on the Australian top six pecking order. A big ton on this big stage could change that in a real hurry. Getting a start during a tough period last night, now’s the moment for him to come back to the MCG - on what will most likely be the best day to bat during the contest - and fill his boots alongside Steve Smith.

For the former captain, he has 23 runs to collect in order to clock his fifth Boxing Day Test ton. He spent the majority of day one in the middle, facing 192 balls along the way. So far, it has been a long way from his most fluent hand in the green helmet but that means nothing to a machine like Smith. Indeed, it is the least pretty tons that he values highest - take his gems at Pune and Brisbane in 2017.

Related: Rising temperatures could imperil future of Boxing Day Test cricket, report warns

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South Africa v England: first Test, day two – as it happened

December 27, 2019, 7:48 am
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England lost their last seven wickets for 39 runs as South Africa took control of the first Test on a dramatic day at Centurion

Vic Marks’ report has arrived, so it’s time to wrap up today’s blog. Please join John Ashdown for day three of this quickfire Test. Thanks for your company, bye!

Related: South Africa take charge of first Test against England as wickets tumble

Here’s Joe Denly

“It was tough out there. It was a very impressive opening spell from Philander and Rabada, and they challenged us in good areas. There were a couple of very good balls in there. Batting outside of the crease against Philander, trying to take LBW out of the equation, was my plan. If he nips one away and catches my edge, then fair play.

Those four late wickets have given England an outside chance of another famous comeback, but you don’t need to be an automated win predictor to know that South Africa are strong favourites to win the match. They lead by 175, which might already be enough on this pitch and against these batsmen, and they have six wickets remaining.

England did some good things, some bad things and some really really really really really bad things. They collapsed from 142 for three to 181 all out, and there’s nothing much we can do except take the positives.

20th over: South Africa 72-4 (van der Dussen 17, Nortje 4) That second Archer beamer was originally given as a no-ball by the square-leg umpire Paul Reiffel, who then changed his mind. In fairness to Archer, the second one was just a low full-toss; it looked more dramatic because Noftje dived for cover.

Anyway, Ben Stokes comes on to bowl the last over of the day, a maiden to van der Dussen. It has been South Africa’s day, and then some.

19th over: South Africa 72-4 (van der Dussen 17, Nortje 4) Archer bowls consecutive beamers to the nightwatchman Nortje. They were both attempted knuckle balls gone wrong, but even so that doesn’t look great. The first was given as a no-ball, the second wasn’t.

18th over: South Africa 66-4 (van der Dussen 12, Nortje 4) Nortje isn’t a complete rabbit - he has four first-class fifties - and he gets off the mark by squirting Curran behind square for four. South Africa lead by 169.

17th over: South Africa 62-4 (van der Dussen 12, Nortje 0) van der Dussen is almost hit by a diabolical bouncer from Archer, who is bowling ferociously. In fact van der Dussen did really well to snap his head out of the way, Robin Smith-style. A malevolent over from Archer finishes with van der Dussen playing and missing outside off.

16th over: South Africa 62-4 (van der Dussen 12, Nortje 0) Replays show there was nothing on UltraEdge for that van der Dussen appeal, so England were right not to review. Curran, meanwhile, bowls a relatively harmless over that is survived by the nightwatchman Nortje. Fifteen minutes remaining.

15th over: South Africa 62-4 (van der Dussen 12, Nortje 0) Anrich Nortje comes in as nightwatchman. Archer looks fired up all of a sudden, and has a few words with van der Dussen after ripping a bouncer past his noggin.

The next ball snaps past the outside edge - or did it shave it? Some of the England fielders were convinced there was an edge, though Archer didn’t appeal. After canvassing opinion, Root decides not to review.

Faf du Plessis dies by the sword. He took Archer on effectively for a while but tried one shot too many. It was a very unusual stroke, a top-edged hook played on one knee, and Curran ran round the square leg boundary to take a good catch.

14th over: South Africa 55-3 (du Plessis 20, van der Dussen 5) A quiet over from Sam Curran to du Plessis, a maiden in fact.

13th over: South Africa 55-3 (du Plessis 20, van der Dussen 5) du Plessis continues his calculated assault on Jofra Archer, hooking him sweetly for six. That was a brilliant stroke, and he has raced to 20 from 21 balls. He is doing precisely what England don’t want.

“Stokes has a huge role to play when this early push for wickets flattens out,” says Richard Holmes. “Cometh the hour, cometh the Stokes to keep England in the Test.”

12th over: South Africa 48-3 (du Plessis 13, van der Dussen 5) van der Dussen edges the new bowler Sam Curran low to second slip, where Stokes seems to take an outstanding catch to his left. The umpires go upstairs, with a soft signal of out, but there is enough doubt for Kumar Dharmasena to give it not out. That’s the right decision I think.

11th over: South Africa 44-3 (du Plessis 12, van der Dussen 2) du Plessis gets off the mark with a nice stroke, opening the face to drive a straight ball from Archer to the extra-cover boundary. He repeats the stroke later in the over, this time off the back foot. Every little helps, especially on a pitch like this, and du Plessis has clearly decided to go on the attack. He makes room to cut the last ball of the over for another boundary. South Africa lead by 147.

WICKET!

South Africa tumble to 29-3 as Elgar (22) inside-edges Archer through to Buttler - game on at Centurion!

Watch #SAvENG live: https://t.co/7Ux2cstY40
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10th over: South Africa 31-3 (du Plessis 0, van der Dussen 1) A bit too wide from Broad, allowing du Plessis to leave a few deliveries outside off stump.

9th over: South Africa 30-3 (du Plessis 0, van der Dussen 0) I wouldn’t say England are back in the game just yet, but they have given themselves an outside chance with this new-ball burst. South Africa lead by 133.

Jofra Archer replaces his initialsake James Anderson - and he strikes second ball! Elgar inside-edges a big nipbacker down the leg side, where Buttler flies to his right to take another fine two-handed catch.

8th over: South Africa 25-2 (Elgar 18, du Plessis 0) The new batsman, Faf du Plessis, is beaten by a jaffa from Broad. There’s an hour’s play remaining; realistically, England need another three or four wickets in that time.

Hamza is caught down the leg side. He tried to roll the wrists on a nothing delivery from Broad but got it too fine and Buttler took a good catch diving to his left. South Africa lead by 128.

7th over: South Africa 25-1 (Elgar 18, Hamza 4) Elgar hits Anderson for consecutive boundaries, a slightly loose steer over backward point followed by a crisp drive through mid-off. He makes it three in four balls with a flick off the pads. Nice one.

6th over: South Africa 13-1 (Elgar 6, Hamza 4) Broad has an absurd enquiry for LBW against Elgar turned down. It was missing leg stump by a long way. England are bowling pretty well, though they have not managed to repeat Philander and Rabada’s forensic near-ball examination.

5th over: South Africa 11-1 (Elgar 6, Hamza 3) I bet James Anderson’s internal monologue is a thing of comic beauty right now. He has an enquiry for LBW against Elgar turned down by Chris Gaffaney. It was a good delivery but it didn’t straighten enough. Root looks vaguely interested in a review but can’t persuade anyone else that he should go upstairs.

4th over: South Africa 10-1 (Elgar 6, Hamza 2) Broad beats Elgar again with a gorgeous delivery that straightens from around the wicket. He’s bowled extremely well in this game, albeit in helpful conditions, and should help himself to a few more wickets in the second innings.

“The thing about Lampard-Gerrard of course is that between underwhelming outings for England they went back and performed brilliantly at club level,” says Pete Salmon. “Not so Bairstow and Buttler.”

3rd over: South Africa 10-1 (Elgar 6, Hamza 2) Games like this can be won - get your precedents here - but realistically England will struggle to chase anything over 150 batting last. That gives them another 36 runs to play with. If it wasn’t so funny, it would be mildly dispiriting.

“Afternoon Rob,” says Nick Parish. “I’ve just woken up. Well, it is Christmas. A Tory government with a huge majority, Liverpool top of the league, and an England batting collapse. It’s like the 1980s all over again.”

2nd over: South Africa 6-1 (Elgar 4, Hamza 0) Dean Elgar avoids a king pair by ignoring his first delivery from Stuart Broad. He is beaten by the second, a Warner special, and then edges between second slip and gully for four. It wasn’t at catchable height but it do go into a gap. “It’s beyond understanding,” says Nasser Hussain of England’s decision to have only two slips. “It really is.”

1st over: South Africa 2-1 (Elgar 0, Hamza 0) Anderson celebrated that wicket with a scowl, one which said: I’m 37 years old, coming back from a long-term injury, and you foppwits have asked me to bowl again after only 53.2 overs’ rest, so take your jaunty high fives and stick ‘em in your redacted.

Jimmy Anderson strikes with his fourth ball. Markram whips around his pad and is given out LBW. He takes a review with him, having used one up in the hope the ball was missing leg stump. It wasn’t. That was a desperate review.

What does he know?

Big risk to bowl first at @SuperSportPark. Unless you are not 100% sure you can roll a team for less than 200-220 and not bat last, you are in trouble. Best option for Proteas in 3rd innings will be to play very positive. #SAvsENG

“Now now, I think there is some doom and gloom here,” says Tone White. “There is not that much difference between the teams, only one big score. If de Kock had gone for 35, say, England would be easily within striking distance of the SA total. Following the OBO yesterday, I had the impression the English bowlers were better than ok.”

Never trust that rag. I do agree about de Kock – he was very lucky at the start of his innings – but you could say the same about England’s top scorer, Denly, who was dropped on 0. Ultimately England are being outplayed, again. They just aren’t very good. In fact, I’m not sure they’re that good.

Credit where it’s due. While England didn’t exactly bat with life-affirming excellence, South Africa bowled quite brilliantly. Not just the big two, either. Dwaine Pretorius and especially Anrich Nortje sparked a dramatic collapse - the last seven wickets fell for 39 - with a blistering spell of old-ball bowling.

That might just be out. Philander pegs back Archer’s off stump with a gorgeous legcutter to finish with pornographic figures of 14.2-8-16-4. South Africa lead by 103 and will win this game at a canter.

53rd over: England 181-9 (Archer 3, Anderson 0) “Re: the 50th over,” begins Adam Pervoe. “England anticipated a tie?”

That or a seven-wicket win. It all depends on whether you speak scorecard.

Meh. Broad fences a short one from Rabada straight to gully.

52nd over: England 178-8 (Archer 0, Broad 2) “Hi Ron,” says Geoff Wignall. “I’ve noticed a couple of Lampard-Gerrard years comparisons you’ve made in recent months. As all football followers outside England and quite a few within it always knew, those should have been the Scholes years had he not been shunted onto the left wing because neither of the other two had his versatility. (If you doubt my word, ask Xavi.) Who, if anyone, do you reckon would be his current cricketing equivalent?”

The obvious answer is Ben Foakes. But I think he’s more like Michael Carrick or Owen Hargreaves, understated and underappreciated. I suppose the closest comparison is Moeen, in that he has often been played out of position to accommodate more ostentatious talents. And now he has semi-retired.

And another one goes by. Buttler edges a beautiful seaming lifter from Philander towards first slip, where de Kock dives in front of van der Dussen to take a spectacular catch. That’s his sixth catch of the innings, equalling the South African record.

51st over: England 176-7 (Buttler 12, Archer 0) Archer’s batting for England has been a letdown so far, in all forms. He is beaten by a cracking lifter from Rabada but then does extremely well to get on top of a venomous throat ball.

50th over: England 176-7 (Buttler 12, Archer 0) Buttler is beaten twice by Philander. The first kept low; the second lifted and seamed away. These are not easy batting conditions.

“Easy to say from here, but bearing in mind the fragile form of the batting unit as well as the disruption to the training camp due to illness, I am surprised by the decision to bowl first/bat last,” says Patrick Treacy. “Were the conditions really that compelling to make it worth the risk? Background circumstances seemed to favour using the bowling attack on a fourth innings wicket while giving batting partnerships more chance to bed in before fielding in blazing heat all day.”

49th over: England 176-7 (Buttler 12, Archer 0) “It all feels so predictable, Rob,” says Guy Hornsby. “And not just Bairstow’s middle stump, but I agree he really did need the winter off. He still looks pretty blinkered, and there’s a risk he’ll really get into a big rut here. Pope will have a say in this series but we can’t expect a (hugely talented) young batsman to get us out of trouble. It starts, as they say, at the top. Once again, we let a side off the hook, something that’s even more common than our collapses. We aren’t a poor side, but we’re a potentially decent one making continually poor decisions. Something has to change, surely.”

I’m not sure I agree with all of that. It’s this assumption of potential, based on increasingly thin evidence, that has created a lot of the problems England have had in the last 2-3 years. The culture of picking on status and potential rather than performance is pretty miserable.

Sam Curran’s counter-attack is ended by a fine reaction catch. He turned a shortish ball from Rabada off the face of the bat towards short leg, where Zubayr Hamza reached down by his left ankle to take it superbly.

48th over: England 173-6 (Buttler 12, Curran 16) “I like the idea of a Gerrard-Lampardification of the team but at least you knew they were the best midfielders in the country and that they were likely in decent form for their clubs,” says David Horn. “With Bairstow, I believe he was asked to get some red ball cricket under his belt - which he hasn’t done - and come back as a specialist batsman. Now, someone who got their runs in red ball cricket and plugged away in county cricket has been dropped after one Test to make way for someone who still can’t work out if he should be backwards or forwards and whether or not he should hit a straight one. It’s approaching 90s levels of selection comedy.”

Crawley isn’t a middle-order batsman so I can understand the selection in that respect. But they should have had somebody other than Bairstow as the back-up middle-order batsman. England are still selecting him because of his form in 2016. And as we all know, the world was a very different place back then.

47th over: England 171-6 (Buttler 12, Curran 15) A double bowling change, with Rabada coming on as well. He beats Buttler with a nasty seaming grubber. England are paying, in truth, for an indifferent (and occasionally unfortunate) bowling performance yesterday.

This pair are probably their last realistic hope, and both are playing with the requisite counter-attacking intent. Buttler gets his second boundary by thumping Rabada through the covers.

46th over: England 165-6 (Buttler 6, Curran 15) Vernon Philander returns after tea. His bowling figures (10-7-5-2) are already pretty erotic. In an hour’s time we could be looking at pure scorecard porn. Not if Curran has anything to do with it, mind you: he hits Philander for consecutive boundaries with a fine square drive and a thick edge along the ground.

“I gather from the good folk on Guerrilla Cricket that Ed Smith is on the record as saying Foakes needs to win a Big Bash contract before he can be considered again for the Test team,” says Reverend Jim. “Is this the most disgraceful cricket-related utterance in history or only in the last fifty years?”

Teatime reading, from an old friend

Related: Three memories of cricket in 2019

45th over: England 157-6 (Buttler 6, Curran 7) Curran is beaten for pace as he attempts to hook Nortje. Playing for tea, 2019-style. The next ball is a snorter: full, seaming away and keeping a bit low as it zips past the edge. That was unplayable. England haven’t a prayer in the fourth innings on this pitch.

A superb over from Nortje continues with a short ball that Curran fences short of the slips and through for four. It’s been a sizzling spell of bowling from Nortje, and it has put South Africa in complete control of the match. See you in 20 minutes for more Test-match batting, England-style.

44th over: England 152-6 (Buttler 6, Curran 2) Buttler ignores a series of tempters outside off stump from Pretorius.England are playing for tea, which is five minutes away. I’d expect a ferocious counter-attack from Buttler and Curran after that, as it’s the only way England can get a first-innings lead. And by flip they need one.

43rd over: England 151-6 (Buttler 6, Curran 1) Curran works Nortje off the hip to get off the mark. I think a few teams fancy that Curran can be bounced out, and South Africa are among them.

42nd over: England 150-6 (Buttler 6, Curran 0) “I know there are illnesses etc but what is Bairstow doing within ten miles of the Test team?” says Andrew Hurley. “It’s amusing how every attack in the world only needs to target Bairstow’s stumps for between 5 and 10 balls and he’ll get out. Do you think he’s in the team as he threw a tantrum to Root?!”

Ha, no, I think he’s there on perceived potential. I would have given him the winter off, at the very least, as two Tests isn’t nearly enough time to reset. It’s hard to justify - never mind warm to - the Gerrard/Lampardification of the England Test team in recent years.

41st over: England 150-6 (Buttler 6, Curran 0) Nortje produces another Flintoff-to-Gilchrist beauty to beat the new batsman Sam Curran. South Africa have always produced raw, exciting, occasionally shambolic fast bowlers – Nantie Hayward, Andre Nel, the rest - and Nortje looks a worthy addition to the list. That’s his second consecutive wicket maiden.

Spoiler alert: England have lost this game.

Anrich Nortje has taken the big wicket! Ben Stokes chases a wide delivery from around the wicket that straightens to take the edge, and de Kock pouches a simple catch. It was a fine delivery but a fairly poor stroke from Stokes, who until then had played immaculately.

40th over: England 150-5 (Stokes 35, Buttler 6) Buttler gets off the mark second ball with a delicious boundary, driven between short extra cover and mid-off when Pretorius overpitches. He almost falls later in the over, checking a stroke that lands just short of the bowler.

39th over: England 143-5 (Stokes 34, Buttler 0) That dismissal takes Bairstow’s average this year to 19. England are in big trouble now.

Bairstow drags a couple of thick inside-edges into the leg side off Nortje. He is, unsurprisingly, are bowling very straight in an attempt to consolidate Bairstow’s famous bowled/LBW statistics. And he’s done it! Bairstow is cleaned up by a ball that keeps a fraction low and thuds into the off stump. He was back when he should have been forward, and was probably beaten for pace as well. His comeback lasted just six deliveries.

38th over: England 143-4 (Stokes 34, Bairstow 1) That fifty was Denly’s fifth in the last nine innings, and was the usual mixture of pluck, luck, intelligence and elegance. Those runs have come against some serious pace attacks. All hail the Pretty Boy Who Went To War.

The new batsman is Jonny Bairstow, who has a point to prove, in his head at least.

Joe Denly falls three deliveries after reaching his fifty. He got the thinnest inside-edge on a nipbacker from the new bowler Dwaine Pretorious and was caught behind by Quinton de Kock. It was given not out on the field but South Africa reviewed straight away, and there was a small spike on Ultra-Edge. Pretorius gets his first Test wicket with a fine delivery.

36th over: England 138-3 (Denly 45, Stokes 34) A beautiful shot from Stokes, who times Nortje through mid-on for four. Two balls later he bends his back to uppercut a short ball over the slips for a one-bounce four. That’s another majestic stroke from Stokes, who is now averaging over 50 in Tests this year. No other England player has an average in the forties, never mind the fifties. Right here, right now, he is unquestionably England’s best Test batsman.

35th over: England 128-3 (Denly 45, Stokes 25) A quiet over from Maharaj this time, with Stokes resisting the urge to go over midwicket a third time.

34th over: England 126-3 (Denly 44, Stokes 24) An abysmal short ball from Nortje boings down the leg side for four wides. Despite their promising recovery, England have a lot of work to do. They will need plenty of fourth-innings insurance, ideally a lead of at least 100.

Thanks Tanya, hello everyone. South African conditions are often conducive to compelling, lowish-scoring Tests, and we have another on our hands here. England have recovered well from a torrid start to the innings, with Joe Denly again justifying comparisons with David Steele and Ben Stokes launching a calculated assault on Keshav Maharaj.

As the players take a slurp and Stokes and Denly admire their fifty partnership after that tactical savaging of Maharaj, I’ll hand over to Rob Smyth who’ll be your guide for the rest of the day. Thanks for all your emails!

33rd over: England 120-3 (Denly 43, Stokes 24) Stokes eyes up Maharaj for three balls, then kneels down and sweeps him twice in succession for six into the remnants of the barmy army. And that’s drinks!

32nd over: England 108-3 (Denly 43, Stokes 12) Well played England! du Plessis decides Philander has done enough in this humidity. He scrambles for Nortje, who would fit twice over into Philander’s shirt. He fires a couple in, one leaps off a length, screaming past the top of de Kock’s desperate leap to stop it. Four byes.

31st over: England 102-3 ( Denly 42, Stokes 11) Rabada goes too full, and Stokes twists the bat and drives him through mid-on for four. Rabada’s post-lunch spell hasn’t had the threat of his morning session, too many blobs not on a length.

Kim Thonger has a suggestion for Buttler:

Dear @tjaldred The Duchess and I think @josbuttler may be reading Stillness is the key but might be better off with ⤵️ pic.twitter.com/hVnPwjvaqp

30th over: England 97-3 ( Denly 41, Stokes 7) Cricket is a cruel game. Sibley sits alone with his thoughts, just along from Buttler who is still reading that frustratingly-just-out-of-reach novel. Denly nudges just a single from the over

Ah! Martin Wright has identified the book. It’s not a novel. Thanks Martin.

29th over: England 96-3 ( Denly 40, Stokes 7) The main men have swapped ends, Rabada now rocking in from the Pavilion End. A better over, until the fifth ball, too short, which Stokes pulls, with gumption stuffing and sauce, to the midwicket boundary.

@tjaldred Hi Tanya just landed in Tromso. I can already sense an ideal location for Boxing Day Test.
It would be a Night Night game with possibility of green stripy skies stopping play. Richard

29th over: England 90-3 ( Denly 40, Stokes 1) A-ha! England aren’t out of the woods yet. Philander has replaced Rabada at the other end. Stokes gets off the mark to his 13th ball (Denly’s progress will show him this is nothing to worry about), and Denly clips Philander off his heels for a couple. What is this plenty?

In the shade Jos Buttler is reading a novel, with a title something like Stillness is the net - but NOT that as google can’t find it.

28th over: England 87-3 ( Denly 38, Stokes 0) Maharaj replaces Philander, Denly employs watchful waiting for the first couple of balls before dancing forward to miscue-drive him to mid-on. Unperturbed, he twinkles and drives him beautifully for four to the long-off boundary.

27th over: England 83-3 ( Denly 34, Stokes 0) Denly dabs at Rabada and, to the brass trumpets of the Centurion band, the ball rushes down between gully and point. Rabada won’t be too disheartened, it wasn’t done with any great conviction.

26th over: England 78-3 ( Denly 29, Stokes 0) Philander on the charge, the slight hint of Christmas day visible in his torso. Stokes plays out a maiden, driving slightly awkwardly at the sixth.

Abhijato Sensarma writes in high praise.

25th over: England 78-3 ( Denly 29, Stokes 0) Joe Denly has one over Rabada right now, a midwicket shovel is followed by a swivel over mid-on, both for four. Rabada’s compass has gone somewhat haywire since lunch. Those grassy banks look lovely for cricket watching.

24th over: England 70-3 ( Denly 21, Stokes 0) The hypnotic powers of Philander. Root knew what he had to do, knew what he mustn’t do, but he did it anyway. Stokes watches and sees out five dot balls.

A furious Root flings his arms in disgust after a feeble nibble at Philander trying to nudge behind square.

23rd over: England 70-2 ( Denly 21, Root 29) Root goes up on his toes and square cuts Rabada with his back foot off the ground to the boundary. And that’s the fifty partnership from 104 balls. A quick single, with an element of risk, is safely negociated. And that, my friends, is a cover drive to lie back and drink cocktails to. Denly leans into the stroke and it whizzes to the rope.

22nd over: England 61-2 ( Denly 17, Root 24) Philander takes the ball. He nips a couple away and Root watches, then nibbles. At last he gets bat to ball behind square and the first run off Philander comes off his 34th ball.

Right, here we go - a huge session this. Will Philander go for a run? Will Root and Denly survive Rabada and Philander mark two? Was it a good idea to give my 13 year old a boxing ball for Christmas? ( I know the answer to that one).

England trail by 224 - but can just start to breathe a little. The ever-present danger from Rabada and Philander was completely absorbing, pace and skill, but Root and Denly somehow survived and their replacements Nortje and Pretorius didn’t have quite the threat. How they survive Rabada and Philander after their rub-down is the next test. Time for a coffee, see you shortly.

Related: Three memories of cricket in 2019

21st over: England 60-2 ( Denly 17, Root 23) Nortje fires in a bouncer, Denly ducks. A couple of easy singles, and that’s lunch. An unbroken partnership of 45 between Root and Denly, who was, remember, dropped on 0.

Phil Sawyer has news for the schedulers , “Morning, Tanya. Hope you got all the Double Deckers your heart desired for Christmas. Having just spent Christmas back home in glorious Lancashire, could I suggest Blackpool’s delightful Stanley Park cricket ground for the Boxing Day test? A brisk walk down the prom before play, fish and chips for lunch and a quick pedalo around the lake for those wanting to work off those Christmas excesses (or for ex-England all-rounders wanting to recreate old times). And definitely untroubled by anything approaching warm temperatures. You know it makes sense.”

20th over: England 57-2 ( Denly 16, Root 21) Smith turns to the long-fingers of Maharaj, one of very few to have pulled on both the cap of the red rose and the white rose. He must, at the very least, be the only South African to have played both sides of the Pennines. A maiden. One over before lunch.

19th over: England 57-2 ( Denly 16, Root 21) Nortje’s not given up hopes of a wicket before lunch. He fires in a couple of fiery bouncers over Root’s head.

Lots of interesting talk around this (see below) - Graeme Smith persuading Dwaine Pretorius away from a Kolpak deal with Notts. A good point made by Nasser Hussain on Sky - what happens if he decides to stick with South Africa, has a couple of bad matches and is dropped? He’d be heartily cheesed off.

Interim director of cricket Graeme Smith reportedly persuaded Proteas all-rounder Dwaine Pretorius against pursuing a long-term contract with Nottinghamshire in English county cricket.https://t.co/jQOgSUEgA8

18th over: England 59-2 ( Denly 16, Root 19) A Denly clip through mid-wicket off Pretorius makes that three boundaries in two overs. And suddenly it is all looking a bit easier.

Avitaj Mitra has been mulling over Sibley’s go-don’t go moment: In defence of Sibley’s decision (or indecision).. considering that the umpires barely call out no balls these days, I’d think it was worth it to hang around just to check if you’d get a reprieve due to the bowler overstepping the line.

17th over: England 51-2 ( Denly 12, Root 19) And suddenly, just as nut follows after eight, the runs start to flow. Denly knocks Nortje through square leg and then through long-on for two charming boundaries.

16th over: England 42-2 ( Denly 3, Root 19) England would take Pretorius over Philander any day of the week. He’s accurate but without quite the threat. Root shoots him through third man for a boundary.

“Poor crowd for second day of test,” sniffs David Malcolm.“Lots of empty seats yesterday .Reflects the lack of interest in test cricket in South Africa. I imagine there will be more England fans watching this series than locals. The only cricket now viewed in any numbers outside England and Australia is rubbish twenty/20.”

15th over: England 38-2 ( Denly 3, Root 15) Nortje bounds in, a big guy, almost as horizontal as he is vertical. Root steals a four through the slips, Denly is hit on the pads, but the shout is optimistic.

14th over: England 33-2 ( Denly 3, Root 10) Five dots relieved only by a couple squeezed from the Denly bat. If he and Root can survive until lunch, they’ll deserve every strip of biltong coming their way.

Kim Thonger drops us a line.

13th over: England 27-2 ( Denly 1, Root 10) A double-change, as Anrich Nortje is thrown the ball and Rabada retreats for a rest. Nortje has a look of a young Hansie Cronje, just less swarthy. It turns out he’s not in the habit of handing out freebies either, and the speedometer is up there at Rabada pace. Root squeezes a four off his final ball, but not with a great deal of confidence.

12th over: England 27-2 ( Denly 1, Root 6) England’s agony is briefly lifted as Pretorius replaces Philander. But Denly’s luck stretches on after he pushes forward at Pretorius and the ball narrowly misses popping back onto the stumps.

11th over: England 25-2 ( Denly 1, Root 6) Oooh, Denly survives as an outside edge is dropped by van der Dussen at first slip. He’s standing well back and the ball somehow popped out of his hands, low to the ground. Rabada puts his head in his hands. And three balls later, with an awkward prod, Denly is off the mark at last, after 28 balls.

10th over: England 25-2 ( Denly 0, Root 6) I’m quite impressed by Denly’s sang froid. He’s now gone 22 balls without scoring, without looking either too jumpy or too desperate . Here he manages a calm(ish) leg-bye, and potters up to the other end. And that’s Philander’s fifth maiden.

Good morning Tanya, writes Simon McMahon. I hope you are well, and had a merry Christmas. Thanks to you and all the OBO team for your sterling work in bringing us cricket from around the world.

9th over: England 25-2 ( Denly 0, Root 6) Root survives the final two balls of the over.

An email pings in from Tom Dunn. Good morning Tanya.

8.4 overs: England 25-2 ( Denly 0, Root 6) A sigh of relief, as Root kisses a four through the covers, but respite is brief. He’s then has to perform some kind of pike leap, cut in half by a bouncer that rises off the pitch. Ye gods, then Rabada sends one short, and Root heads the ball off the top of his helmet to the boundary for four. And as Root is checked for concussion, they take DRINKS.

8th over: England 17-2 ( Denly 0, Root 2) Denly, 16 balls without scoring, is batting well out of his crease to Philander. Philander dangles the ball at various lengths, but Denly holds his nerve. Four overs, four maidens for Philander.

7th over: England 17-2 ( Denly 0, Root 2) Root runs through his multiple batting skills, ducking, diving, prodding, surviving. More Rabada magic.

6th over: England 15-2 ( Denly 0, Root 0) Denly somehow survives a Philander special, just escaping an lbw squeeze, then just nibbling, but not enough, at one on a perfect line. Philander and Rabada are quite the bowling double-act - one blows you away, the other dissects the remains.

5th over: England 15-2 ( Denly 0, Root 0) Rabada gave Sibley a thorough working over there, probing outside his off stump, though he did stray briefly onto his pads where Sibley nudged him through the onside for four. Then bang.

A suggestion for OBO over readers who like wallowing in England discord.

@tjaldred For OBO readers wanting radio coverage, may I suggest the fun folks @guerillacricket ? They are not geo-blocked and so can be heard worldwide online. They are on https://t.co/umVV4VwQiA, @TuneIn and also on Facebook. Irreverent, well informed, experienced, and funny.

Oh dear. Sibley gets a sniff at a rocket slightly wide of the stump and pushes slightly desperately at it. He’s given not out but South Africa review straight away. Sibley then starts walking, but Denly calls him back, but Reiffel tells him to keep walking. Confusion a-go-go. Anyway, he’s out.

4th over: England 11-1 ( Denly 0, Sibley 0) Replays show the ball nicked Burns’s thumb as it went past. Such a peach from Philander, whose skills with the ball are pseudo-magical, especially against left-handers. Denly successfully plays out the rest of the over.

Burns falls to his very first ball from Philander, a beauty, that rockets up from nowhere and Burns dutifully nibbles away.

3rd over: England 11-0 ( Burns 9, Sibley 0) Rabada is going for it here. Burns somehow, with a kind of twisted bat, directs a 90mph ball through gully for four. He looks awkward, but was ever thus, and how he’s compiled those runs.

2nd over: England 6-0 ( Burns 4, Sibley 0) Jelly babies and ginger nuts , Sibley plods forward heavily and gets within a lego brick of an edge to Philander. And so it continues.

1st over: England 6-0 ( Burns 4, Sibley 0) And just as it was in the South African innings, so it nearly was in the England innings. Rabada sent down a very full ball, that shaped in and Burns looked as if he’d got a tickle, he turned immediately to see the ball fall into de Koch’s gloves. He was given out on the field but, hesitatingly reviews, and it seems the noise was a foot or a glove. Not out. His working over continues for the rest of the over as Rabada sends down two no balls at top speed and hits him on the hip as he awkwardly twists. Advantage Rabada.

Four wickets each for Broad and Sam Curran. Let’s see what Philander and Rabada have up their sleeve. Rob Key has just suggested that Philander is similar to Darren Stevens...

Just a sniff short of the 300 they were hoping for, we are about to see how good a score this is. Sibley, Denly, Burns - a top three to inspire what? Confidence? Trepidation? Lying down in a dark room? Another mince pie?

Philander reviews the most obvious caught behind since Burglar Bill broke into Burglar Betty’s house, for reasons currently inexplicable. And that’s that.

84th over: South Africa 278-9 (Philander 29, Nortje 0) Sam Curran is on the prowl for his fifth wicket, it would be his first Test five-fer. Nortje, not completely convincingly, survives the last four balls of the over.

83rd over: South Africa 277-9 (Philander 28, Nortje 0) Broad, long limbed, slightly rounded back, reels in and finishes off yesterday evening’s over.

Morning Tanya, writes Guy Hornsby, another great day of cricket in store. But with more players going down with this gastro bug it’ll be a miracle that it won’t affect the result, but it’s Friday so I’m being optimistic and saying we’ll have them out quickly and runs from Burns and Root today. The problem is that we said this in NZ and we folded, so we’re fragile. So it’s as likely 175 all out as 290-5, I’m afraid.

The players are out, Stuart Broad has the ball...

Did you know? writes Finbar Anslow, “that until yesterday three of the top ten run scorers in Australian test cricket played for Somerset?”

Ah, no. But I do now. Time for an emergency piece of toast and marmite. Hope that dog is behaving Graeme - you’ve got six minutes. ..

Graeme Smith, South African’s new interim director of cricket, is chatting to Ian ‘n’ Mike. His shoulders could have their own chat show.

“I was looking forward to being in the comm box, but South African cricket has got into a lot of challenges into the last while and I wanted to get in and see if I could make a difference and help. The biggest challenges? I’m still working to try and add a bit more intensity, a bit more experience, a bit more leadership.

Graeme Arthur drops a note.

When does play begin? Have I got time to take the dog out?

And, out of interest, what would have happened if England had failed to field 11 fit players from their squad? Or, indeed, should a number of the current team have to leave the field? Is there a point beyond which play is abandoned / suspended?

You’ve got time for a quick stroll round the block - play starts at 8am GMT. As for the illness question, I think they could keep calling people up ad infinitum. Back in 1986, you could whistle for an old pro in a suit pressing the flesh in a hospitality box...

Related: 25 July 1986: Bob Taylor's unexpected comeback

We’re on, Rob Key has ironed his shirt and is calling it “a crucial day.” Ebony Rainford-Brent praises Sam Curran.

Nasser Hussain and Ian Ward are out on the pitch in matching white shirts, no ties. The clouds are out, it is humid. Nasser says day 2 is the best day for batting. Shaun says said the pitch is as good as he’s seen it for a few years . The cracks in the pitch are not yet in play - too far outside off stump.

It is especially poignant to read the report on the future of the Melbourne Test while England play in South Africa. It was only a couple of years ago that all grade cricket had to be cancelled in the Cape Town area because of drought, and the touring Indians were donating money to water charities.

Drilling deep into the report, particularly prescient in Australia right now, with burning bush fires and controversy over the future of coal, it suggests that the Boxing Day Test will soon no longer be able to exist in its present form because of rising temperatures, and will have to be moved to the evening or a different time of year.

Related: Australia v New Zealand: Boxing Day Test, day two – as it happened

Good morning everyone! An intriguing day ahead at Centurion. While we wait for the coverage to start, a couple of things. Firstly, there is more sickness in the England camp to report - now Mark Wood joins Jack Leach, Ollie Pope, Chris Woakes and two members of support staff in the sick bay.

Also, do read this important report into the future of the Boxing Day Test in this era of climate crisis.

Rising temperatures could imperil future of Boxing Day Test cricket, report warns | Environment | The Guardian https://t.co/iiXmeRegS4

Tanya will be here soon. Here’s Sam Curran’s thoughts on the first day of play:

“It’s been a tough week as a squad and we’re pleased how we’ve stuck together as a group. It was tough out there, warm with not much breeze. Of course we would like to have bowled them out by the close. But I would say it’s been an even day. [Quinton] de Kock played beautifully, yet all in all we’re pretty pleased.

Continue reading...
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Australia v New Zealand: Boxing Day Test, day three – as it happened

December 27, 2019, 11:15 pm
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  • Australia lead by a massive 456 runs at the end of day three
  • Pat Cummins (5-28) helped skittle New Zealand for just 148

If day one was Australia’s - just - and day two theirs convincingly, then day three was where they asserted their dominance over New Zealand in this Boxing Day Test, and in merciless fashion.

Pat Cummins (5-28) and James Pattinson (3-34) tore through the visiting batting order with fast bowling that was in equal parts controlled and hostile. They exploited what was on offer in the surface, finding the right lengths to draw edges, ruffle feathers, and make batting look extraordinarily difficult.

@JPHowcroft this match is a great advert for mandatory declaration thresholds. I've not thought this idea through and have no means of justifying it, just seems right.

45th over: Australia 137-4 (Wade 15, Head 12) Neil Wagner bowls the final over of the day, but it’s a laboured effort that Travis Head navigates safely.

44th over: Australia 136-4 (Wade 15, Head 11) Boult’s short balls go for runs this over, the penultimate one of the day. First Wade cuts hard for four then he pulls in front of square for two. Australia are now in the safe waters of a lead in excess of 450.

43rd over: Australia 129-4 (Wade 9, Head 10) The TV broadcast spends most of the over avoiding Wagner’s bumpers to Head, preferring instead to focus on the New Zealander’s with their tops off en masse in the crowd, and showing highlights of Australia’s surgical performance with the ball earlier in the day. Slightly fugged, after a hot stuffy afternoon watching a whole lot of nothing, it’s easy to forget how eviscerating Cummins and Pattinson were this morning.

42nd over: Australia 127-4 (Wade 8, Head 9) Lovely shot from Head, ramping Boult from very close to his chest up and over Watling for four. Trademark hustle from Boult this over but Australia are wise to his full swinging yorkers and occasional bumper.

41st over: Australia 122-4 (Wade 7, Head 5) Wade does that weird thing again where he just accepts a Wagner bouncer thudding into his body - his right elbow on this occasion. It can’t be an advisable tactic.

40th over: Australia 120-4 (Wade 6, Head 4) Despite waiting on the results of a scan on his injured right hand, Trent Boult is back for a spell bowling with his left. It starts innocuously, to the backdrop of an increasingly voluble Kiwi contingent in the cheap seats.

The crowd are in GREAT voice here at the MCG #AUSvNZ#cricketnationpic.twitter.com/SOjKN87oQ1

39th over: Australia 117-4 (Wade 5, Head 2) A comparatively uneventful Wagner over goes for a couple. Not long to go today now, our penance nearly done, and the contest proper can resume tomorrow.

Attendance for first three days of MCG Test up to 183,752, exceeding the 176,539 that came to the Indian Test over five days here last year.

38th over: Australia 115-4 (Wade 4, Head 1) Wade drives Southee square for a nice three. Meanwhile, Trent Boult has been taken for a scan on his right hand after he was hit on the glove while batting earlier on.

37th over: Australia 112-4 (Wade 1, Head 1) Wagner’s having a bit of fun now out there, ignoring the match situation and just hurling rocks as hard as he can at Matthew Wade. Wade survives, but is fortunate a mistimed hook lands short of fine leg.

Wagner is now the second-fastest Kiwi to 200 Test wickets, behind only Richard Hadlee.

36th over: Australia 110-4 (Wade 0, Head 0) Southee maiden. #Declarationspeculation can get an early night.

Impressive numbers.

Official attendance for Day 3 of the Boxing Day Test is 43,603 #AUSvNZ

35th over: Australia 110-4 (Wade 0, Head 0) Wicket-maiden for Wagner, a man you know would make a very handy brother-in-law. I bet he’s got all the tools.

Four in four!

Neil Wagner has the Aussie batsman's measure! #AUSvNZpic.twitter.com/zHIbu44pvq

After a slow afternoon this is turning into quite a jolly old evening. With Smith on strike Williamson recalls Wagner to resume his bodyline-lite on the best since Bradman. Smith begins by mistiming another forehand smash then clips a relaxed pull shot straight to Southee at a slightly deeper than usual square-leg! Four times this series that plan has worked now. Australia are throwing away their *checks notes* 429 run lead.

34th over: Australia 110-3 (Smith 7) After plenty of derision Santner is turning in a decent day’s work. He now has 1-22 from his eight overs of increasingly tight bowling.

Eamonn Maloney opens a big old can of worms on the email. “A couple of mates of 20+ years mispronounce my name. No big deal, just too much emphasis on the o. It just got too late to correct them. I still think there’s time for Ricky ‘Lahhhhbuschagne’ Ponting if someone would just have a quiet word.”

Santner finally gets in on the act when Burns doesn’t get enough on a dab to third-man and Watling takes a fine catch stood up to the stumps.

33rd over: Australia 108-2 (Burns 34, Smith 6) Oi oi! Smith has come out in Glenn Maxwell T20 beast mode, forehand smashing Southee through mid-on for four and turning ones into twos like he’s twocced something (Australian ownership of the Finn brothers, perhaps?). Maybe we can fire up #Declarationspeculation after all?

32nd over: Australia 101-2 (Burns 33, Smith 0) A much better over from Santner, capped by the terrific fielding.

No half-century for Labuschagne - what?

The hesitation cost him! #AUSvNZpic.twitter.com/HMh2WPfh4L

Well, that was dumb. Labuschagne runs himself out, taking on Latham’s arm at short fine-leg. The ground fielding was sharp but Santner’s gather at the non-striker’s end to complete the dismissal was even better. Actually, that was behind square, so it was probably Burns’ call. He owes his Queensland teammate a XXXX.

31st over: Australia 100-1 (Burns 32, Labuschagne 19) Just the single from Southee’s over. Play since drinks has not been thrilling.

30th over: Australia 99-1 (Burns 32, Labuschagne 18) Just the single from Santner’s over.

“Hi Jonathan,” hi Brendan Brown. “You know things aren’t going well for NZ when a commentator brings up the underarm ball from almost 40 years ago.” My favourite of that genre is when a captain makes what proves to be a poor decision at the toss and everyone piles on Ricky Ponting and/or Nasser Hussain; two of the most erudite and likeable voices in the modern game. This is why we can’t have nice things anymore.

29th over: Australia 98-1 (Burns 32, Labuschagne 17) Bazinga! Southee’s first delivery is launched by the hitherto becalmed Burns straight over the sightscreen for six runs so handsome you could call them Hemsworth. With the blood still flowing Burns cuts four more! Just in case that was all a hallucination, it’s time for drinks.

28th over: Australia 88-1 (Burns 22, Labuschagne 17) Four singles from Santner’s latest over. The Kiwi spinner is failing to play his way into the Sydney Test.

27th over: Australia 84-1 (Burns 20, Labuschagne 15) Tim Southee replaces Neil Wagner and his first over back goes for one. Joe Burns is now 20 from 74 balls.

Speaking of things to keep you occupied for an hour-and-a-half or so, you could do worse than watch this documentary on the cultural impact of rave culture in the UK.

26th over: Australia 83-1 (Burns 20, Labuschagne 14) Australia milk five from Santner’s throwdowns. The lead is now over 400; 402 to be precise. Make your own fun for the next hour-and-a-half.

25th over: Australia 78-1 (Burns 20, Labuschagne 9) Not Wagner’s best effort this time. A bouncer called a wide is among a hotchpotch of deliveries both batsmen convert into runs.

24th over: Australia 70-1 (Burns 17, Labuschagne 5) 90 minutes or so left in the day, still no indication Australia are going to declare tonight. Santner skips through a benign over-rate booster. Meanwhile, New Zealand’s fans in the stands join in the grim tradition of applauding themselves after singing their own national anthem.

23rd over: Australia 67-1 (Burns 16, Labuschagne 3) Wagner is playing a different game to his teammates, peppering Labuschagne and Burns with short balls mixed with the odd well-placed yorker to keep the batsmen guessing. Stifled appeals for a glove behind and LBW come to nought.

22nd over: Australia 66-1 (Burns 16, Labuschagne 2) Santner, bowling to a new batsman without a slip, does not win back the unconditional support of the selectors with an over so mundane its aura would be ecru.

21st over: Australia 63-1 (Burns 14, Labuschagne 1) Wagner rarely goes wicketless in an innings. That’s the 12th innings in a row he’s celebrated at least one dismissal. In 86 attempts he’s only failed to take a wicket 12 times - but on five of those occasions he bowled fewer than ten overs.

Warner opens himself up and clubs it straight to Tom Blundell. Australia lose their first.

Stream #AUSvNZ ad-break free on Kayo: https://t.co/CfILOrTeyB

Live blog : https://t.co/HpbWnvbIpOpic.twitter.com/VaCW3rs7iM

Out of nowhere, a wicket. And a wild wicket it is too. Wagner comes around the wicket, Warner steps miles to leg, Wagner drops short, Warner slaps hard with a horizontal bat, Blundell holds onto a stinger at cover.

20th over: Australia 62-0 (Warner 38, Burns 14) Of the few subplots on offer this innings this is perhaps the most significant, the introduction of Mitchell Santner. Another poor showing from the left-arm spinner may well spell the end of his time in a Black Cap (for now, anyway). He starts by conceding four singles and looking as toothless as a champion gurner.

19th over: Australia 58-0 (Warner 36, Burns 12) Wagner’s doggedness from around the wicket keeps Warner honest for four balls before Australia’s openers exchange well-run singles.

18th over: Australia 56-0 (Warner 35, Burns 11) “It looks to me like he’s just going through the motions a little bit.” Not my words, the words of Ricky Thomas Ponting, on the batting of Joe Burns. Another CdG over drifts by like a counted sheep.

17th over: Australia 54-0 (Warner 34, Burns 11) Wa - and I cannot emphasise this enough - hey! After 48 balls scratching around for 7, Burns whipcracks a pull of crisp precision off Wagner to move into double figures.

16th over: Australia 49-0 (Warner 33, Burns 7) Warner tickles CdG fine for four then rotates strike. Burns continues to look like a man who’s been told the ball is actually a priceless Faberge egg that should be treated with the utmost delicacy.

Robin Hobbs has emailed to praise Mac Millings for his 12 days of Christmas. “Great work by Mac Millings. But not including post war Aussie spinner Doug Ring feels like a miss.”

15th over: Australia 44-0 (Warner 28, Burns 7) First authentic chance of the innings goes begging. Wagner finds the shoulder of Warner’s bat but Southee can’t grab a difficult low chance diving full stretch at second slip.

Abhijato Sensarma picks up on the earlier topic of Australia now blossoming into an excellent Test cricket unit, with a trip to India again the major question mark over their quality. “Let’s look at how they need to go about it conventionally - they need two or three excellent spinners in their side. One is Lyon for sure, but who will be the other two? That’s their biggest area of concern. Also, as many articles have pointed out after the conclusion of India’s Test season this year, there’s been a trend - pacers have been doing exceedingly well on international surfaces in the country. And they have often stood out to be the biggest difference between the home team and the visitors. The Australians have one of the best units in the world, however - going to be an epic showdown next time they visit the subcontinent, eh?”.

14th over: Australia 37-0 (Warner 22, Burns 6) Burns dabs a single and Warner slashes three from a CdG over delivered with all the intent of a dads v lads knockabout.

13th over: Australia 33-0 (Warner 19, Burns 5) Wagner has the ball for the first time this innings but he’s too wide to Warner, allowing the Australian opener to cut for three. He’s tighter to Burns, who shows no indication Australia’s game plan is to declare this evening.

This is an instructive stat. It also hides some brutal conditions in which to field too.

To the tea interval, New Zealand had fielded 1667 minutes in this series, Australia 828. #AusvNZ

Ok, play will resume shortly. It will cease for the day 39 overs from now, or - as is more likely - at 6pm local time.

Spend your tea break with Mac Millings, who has emailed in his magnum opus.

On the first day of Christmas, JP Howcroft gave to me,
A Parfitt, Binny, Blair, Reeve.

Time for a 20-minute break from all that excitement. Hopefully Australia will spend it mapping out a strategy whereby they dash a bit after tea then give themselves half an hour with the ball.

12th over: Australia 28-0 (Warner 16, Burns 4) A couple of singles from CdG’s avuncular over. Burns has raced to four from 34 deliveries.

11th over: Australia 26-0 (Warner 15, Burns 3) Over a 60% increase in Australia’s second-innings score this over with Warner clipping a couple then driving Boult forcefully though cover for four. The bowler’s disappointment is compounded when a short ball bobbles away for four byes after looping over a flailing BJ Watling.

10th over: Australia 16-0 (Warner 9, Burns 3) Colin de Grandhomme is the first bowling change of the innings but his arrival does not magically energise this torpid spectacle. We. Are. Going. Through. The. Motions.

9th over: Australia 15-0 (Warner 8, Burns 3) Oooh, genuine beauty from Boult that beats Warner outside off, followed up by one that spits off a length.

8th over: Australia 14-0 (Warner 7, Burns 3) Maiden from Southee. Maiden from Stratford:

7th over: Australia 14-0 (Warner 7, Burns 3) One more for Burns, couple more for Warner. Jeopardy in short supply. Australia lead by 331.

6th over: Australia 11-0 (Warner 5, Burns 2) If you want to know where New Zealand’s fielders are stationed, just ask Joe Burns, because everything he hits finds one. Eventually he locates a gap and doubles his score.

Burns has avoided the ignominy of an MCG pair. The last to endure the pain was Michael Atherton back in 1998.

5th over: Australia 10-0 (Warner 5, Burns 1) O Burnso! O Burnso! You are Burnso no more. A streaky single through gully means only Burns now. Or Joe. Or Burns Joe, to be sure. I’ve been reading my four-year-old way too much Dr Seuss.

4th over: Australia 9-0 (Warner 5, Burns 0) New Zealand burnso through a review when Southee gets one to jag back into Warner from around the wicket. Erasmus declines the LBW appeal and DRS confirms his judgement that there was probably an inside-edge before the ball struck the pad. Maiden over.

3rd over: Australia 9-0 (Warner 5, Burns 0) Warner again gets off strike smartly, this time with a three through midwicket, allowing his partner to continue the pretence his name is actually Burnso.

2nd over: Australia 6-0 (Warner 2, Burns 0) Tim Southee shares the new ball, and after Warner earns his second single of the innings, the right-arm swing bowler probes outside Burns’ off stump. The Queenslander remains on a pair.

“Can’t shake the feeling that this Aus v NZ series is like a rehearsal for the pasting England are facing in the next Ashes,” emails Brian Withington. “How did Aus get so bloody good again at this game? Any chance Cummins & co would like to spend more time with family, or focus on white ball cricket?” Indeed Brian, Australia - and their attack in particular - is going to be very good for quite some time. For them, the only question remaining is whether it’s equipped to do it in India?

1st over: Australia 5-0 (Warner 1, Burns 0) Trent Boult opens for New Zealand, silencing the hubbub over his injured hand. It’s a tidy start from the Kiwi quick, featuring a sharp single to David Warner and four legbyes off the pads of Joe Burns.

Time to reawaken the #Declarationspeculation leviathan. 50 overs remaining today, so Australia could even be back out tonight. It would be unlikely though, so I’d expect shortly after lunch tomorrow, giving them the best part of five sessions to dismiss New Zealand with a target of around 550 to defend.

The players are back out onto the field for a 45-minute or so session before tea. It matters for Joe Burns, who remains uncertain of his medium term future in the side, but not a lot for anyone else.

Now Adam’s snatching some low quality shut-eye, remember to retune your emails and tweets to the following addresses: @JPHowcroft and jonathan.howcroft.casual@theguardian.com.

After that flurry of activity, a belated chance to thank Adam for his sterling work, and invite him to enjoy being awake at 3am, for now, and - once his soon-to-arrive firstborn pops out - forever.

Australia have not enforced the follow on, so the remainder of the day will be centre wicket practice for Australia’s top order.

Boult moved to off, revealed his stumps, and Starc shot them down like tin ducks at a carnival popgun stall. When the fun stops, stop.

54th over: New Zealand 148-9 (Wagner 18, Boult 8) Lyon is brought on to replace Pattinson to finish it off, Boult immediately smashing him over long-on for six! It lands just short of the quasi-corporate enclosure in the bottom of the Great Southern Stand. Have that. He goes again, with far less force, his swipe landing at midwicket for a couple. Next? A reverse sweep! Oh, stop it Trent. Now Wagner smashes six more! Over long-on again, just clearing Head on the boundary there. An eventful way to round out my stint, 15 coming from the over. With that, and drinks on the field, I’ll hand over to JP Howcroft. Will I see you tomorrow? I expect so... unless Australia pop them in again and finish it quick. Entirely possible. Bye!

53rd over: New Zealand 133-9 (Wagner 10, Boult 1) Boult wants nothing to do with Starc’s array of short balls from around the wicket, dancing around the crease like Phil Tufnell. Very No11 areas. He’s eventually off the mark taking a ball from a metre outside the off-stump down to fine leg with his back foot behind the stumps when he makes contact. Yeah, that’s what I said. Wagner’s turn and he strokes a lovely cover drive for four! The visiting fans love that. The physio is out at the end of the over - one of those short balls hit his right hand. Send in the magic spray.

52nd over: New Zealand 128-9 (Wagner 6, Boult 0) Wagner tries to hook Pattinson, the ball coming from the back of his bat over first slip for four. They’ll take it. Andrew Samson on SEN notes that between them, Cummins and Pattinson have missed 135 Tests since their respective debuts in consecutive matches in November 2011. Blimey. Wagner has another go at Pattinson and this time the ball comes off the bottom of the bat spitting out to cover, but not to hand. The bouncer follows, which he misses. Will Australia enforce the follow-on? In Adelaide it was easier to justify because of the forecast rain - there’s none of that this week. On that basis, I wonder whether they’ll let the quicks have a breather? No rush here.

Cummins gets his fifth! After playing and missing a couple of times, Southee edges the final ball of the over through to Paine, who claims his fifth catch too. Cummins has 11/45 in his most two recent Test bowling innings at the MCG.

51st over: New Zealand 124-9 (Wagner 2)

50th over: New Zealand 123-8 (Southee 10, Wagner 1) Edge, four! Pattinson finds he right part of Southee’s bat but it flies through the cordon instead of going to hand. Wagner’s turn later in the over, exposed two more of bouncers. He won’t see many balls in his half. He does get off the mark with a clip, keeping the strike.

Want to learn more about James Pattinson? Geoff Lemon and I sat down with him at Lord’s in August on The Final Word podcast for an extended chat. Great fella.

Things you love to see: a big Victorian quick taking wickets in the Boxing Day Test

49th over: New Zealand 117-8 (Southee 5, Wagner 0) Another near run out! Southee pushes Cummins’ first ball to cover and takes off straight away, exposing Wagner to a diamond duck had Lyon’s throw been on target. Of course, Wagner cops a bumper first up - they wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m sure they will be sledging him relentlessly to go with it and I’m even more certain that Wagner won’t care. Another bouncer, ducked more convincingly the second time around. Wade now drops him at short leg! In and out! Played from the gloves, turned right into the fielder, but his fingers got tangled up in the helmet grille before arriving. It’s hard to think of how Australia could have bowled better today.

Pattinson’s turn! It’s a peach of a delivery, angling in before seaming away then catching the edge. The local boy loves it. He has 3/24. We aren’t far away from Australia enforcing the follow-on here, their lead still 351 runs.

48th over: New Zealand 116-8 (Southee 4)

47th over: New Zealand 116-7 (Santner 3, Southee 4) Cummins now searches for a fifth, adding to the ten he took on this ground 12 months ago. For the briefest moment it appeared Southee might have given him that chance, flicking high in the air off his pads, but it doesn’t go to the man at deep backward square.

New Zealand's best performer is gone for 50.

Cummins gets his fourth wicket and third of the day.#AUSvNZ | https://t.co/Q5Lvt45rWOpic.twitter.com/ze5nk9dkZ3

Latham didn’t need to play at that but this is the pressure a bowler of Cummins’ quality creates from that angle around the wicket. Quicker with a bit of shape after pitching - enough to find the outside edge, straight into Paine’s gloves.

46th over: New Zealand 112-6 (Latham 50, Santner 3) Pattinson is too good for Santner’s outside edge once more after probing in at the stumps earlier in the over. Classy bowling, moving it both ways at pace. Deserves a couple more. The quick bouncer is on him in a flash as well, ducked just in time. Oooi! Nearly a run out! Santner did well to play it with soft hands behind point and called Latham through for two. Coming back to the danger end, a direct hit and he was gone. Not to be.

45th over: New Zealand 110-6 (Latham 50, Santner 1) Latham has turned his last five Test half-centuries into tons. The trend of this innings would suggest he will run out of partners to do so again, but if Santner can find a way to hang around... okay, I won’t get ahead of myself. A maiden from Cummins to the opener, both players at the top of their games. One edge is found, deflected with soft hands.

44th over: New Zealand 110-6 (Latham 50, Santner 1) Boy, he’s earned that. Latham moves to his half-century with three past point, collected across 132 relentless deliveries. Pattinson will fancy is chances against Santner and goes very close to finding his edge with the final delivery of the over, sent down at pace.

There are more than 40,000 people currently in the MCG today to go with 80,000 on day one and 60,000 on day two. A fantastic turn out from the sporting capital.

43rd over: New Zealand 107-6 (Latham 47, Santner 1) Huge inside edge for four first ball! Cummins was ever so close to either going through the gate or Latham chopping on from around the wicket. There’s the bumper, ducked by the opener - his default option when it comes each over. That wouldn’t be a bad study: in this series, has there been a greater percentage of short balls bowled since the provision was brought in to deny more than two bouncers an over? He gets one chance at Santner here, who was both lucky and vulnerable before the break... and he’s through the gate! BIG shout for caught behind - not out. There was a sound as the ball past the blade but the conclusion from the captain, which the replay confirms, is that it was ball on pad not the inside edge. Yet another fine over.

The players are back on the field. Cummins has the ball in his hand. Who else would you want to start a session? Latham is the man on strike, who batted so well after his life early in the day. PLAY!

Six out of 137 (!). Today’s was the first I haven’t been at the ground to observe.

The six lbws of Pat Cummins' Test career

Root: Brisbane, November 2017
Bairstow: Sydney, January 2018
Markram: Port Elizabeth, March 2018
du Plessis: Johannesburg, March 2018
de Kock: Johannesburg, March 2018
Nicholls: Melbourne, December 2019https://t.co/ZNpidYw5Jh#AUSvNZ

A special report on a special bloke. I can’t think of a better human being than Jesse Hogan, who I’m sure all of you would know for his writing on our game. This is a fantastic piece about his recovery from the stroke that nearly killed him in 2016 and the book he triumphantly released before Christmas - For Cap and Country.

In February 2016, @Jesse_Hogan suffered a stroke which left him fighting for life.

The swelling on his brain was so large that part of his skull had to be removed.

Yet Jesse persevered, and with an assist from @AndrewFaulkner9, For Cap And Country was released pic.twitter.com/AtChYVrlOW

42nd over: New Zealand 102-6 (Latham 42, Santner 1) Big spin and considerable bounce from Lyon, who has bowled his own lovely spell leading into the lunch break. He beats Latham with one that goes a long way, taken tidily by Paine. The opener finishes the session positively, getting down the track to drive a single.

41st over: New Zealand 100-6 (Latham 41, Santner 1) Such good bowling, in keeping with the theme of the morning for all three Australian quicks. Latham isn’t giving it away this close to lunch, the strike returning to Santner. The short ball arrives to finish, whacking him on the arm. This has been a nasty spell. They will get one more in, Lyon racing around to give his hat to ump to make sure of it.

40th over: New Zealand 100-6 (Latham 41, Santner 1) Probably Lyon’s last over before lunch, with fielders around the bat including a silly point. Warne makes the good point that he rarely has a man under the lid on the off-side. He’s getting him in the game with ample flight, Santner leaping forward to defend. There’s enough turn there to beat the edge once, the left-hander doing well not to follow it.

39th over: New Zealand 100-6 (Latham 41, Santner 1) There are still plenty of Black Caps fans in the MCG and they give it big when the the 100 is brought up by Santner, off the mark (and out of the Starc firing line) in the process with his tuck behind square. Latham is well set, refusing to give an inch to the Australians.

Strong from Ricky Ponting. When he talks, people listen.

Ponting: "the sweatband was definitely moving on the glove... that has been missed by the third umpire, absolutely as plain as day. If you can't get that right, you shouldn't be doing it. That is a very, very obvious decision to make". Long chat between Paine and Erasmus #AusvNZ

38th over: New Zealand 99-6 (Latham 41, Santner 0) Lyon does his job, sending down a tidy over that gets Santner back on strike for Starc next up.

37th over: New Zealand 97-6 (Latham 39, Santner 0) The end of a successful over that should have been a double-wicket maiden for Starc. As Ian Smith clears up on telly, if there is a sweatband on the glove, it is part of the glove. That’s conclusive - it was, therefore, his glove. It’s beyond belief how often we are seeing mistakes in the third umpire’s booth in Test cricket.

The wicket from earlier in the over.

First of the innings for Starc! #AUSvNZ live: https://t.co/Q5Lvt45rWOpic.twitter.com/lwvI5j43LR

NOT OUT! Unbelivable decision from Aleem Dar. It clearly hit Santner’s glove wristband. You can see it move!

WHAT? That's absolutely ridiculous from Aleem Dar. We need specialist TV umpires ASAP. #AUSvNZ

IS SANTNER CAUGHT SECOND BALL? Starc’s bumper came off something before landing in the cordon. About five players convince Paine to have a pop upstairs.

Nup, he couldnt do it. de Grandhomme prods at the first ball of Starc’s fresh over, staight into the hands of Warner at gully. No footwork. Poor cricket.

36th over: New Zealand 97-5 (Latham 39, de Grandhomme 11) Latham is setting in for a long stay - if he can find someone to ride shotgun, that is. Here, against Lyon, he plays inside a huge turning off-break before getting well forward to drive beautifully down the ground - shot of the morning. But then when de Grandhomme is at the business end, he nearly holes out to midwicket. Yes, the all-rounder is built to biff but he’s not at all convincing so far so he has to support Latham by getting himself to lunch - not hitting out.

35th over: New Zealand 89-5 (Latham 32, de Grandhomme 10) Latham’s turn for a Starc working over. But after getting underneath both the bouncers - coming from the first two balls - he’s able to watch from the front foot for the rest of the set.

34th over: New Zealand 88-5 (Latham 31, de Grandhomme 10) Lyon is already bowling with serious flight and drift. He’s going to be a handful here. Kerry O’Keeffe says that he spoke to the spinner last night and he was excited to be bowling on an MCG track with some bounce. The last time he had one of those here, for the 2013-14 Ashes Test, he picked up a six-wicket bag in the second dig.

33rd over: New Zealand 85-5 (Latham 29, de Grandhomme 9) Starc wants in on this, attacking Latham’s stumps with the opener getting his bat down just in time through an inside edge for a couple. There’s the bouncer at de Grandhomme we’ve been waiting for - a fast one, ducked. They will come at him constantly with this.

32nd over: New Zealand 80-5 (Latham 26, de Grandhomme 8) Nup - one and done: Wade is off, Lyon is on. He misses his mark first up, Latham taking full advantage with an easy sweep for four, fine of the man on the 45. Sure enough, he’s right on it thereafter, flighting his stock delivery beautifully. By the middle of the set he’s appealing for leg before wicket when the opener misses a clip after dancing at him.

31st over: New Zealand 76-5 (Latham 22, de Grandhomme 8) Starc had to wait a full hour to get his go this morning so he’s had plenty of time to limber up, shown by how fast he’s already sending them down. Early in the over he hits de Grandhomme on the pad before twice beating his inside edge. Oh, make it three! The all-rounder is nowhere near it so far in this innings. Will Wade continue?

“Hi Adam.” G’day, Graeme Thorn. “I think the argument should be that the ICC should get teams to concentrate on getting their 90 overs bowled in the six hours before more are crammed in to allow four-day Tests.”

30th over: New Zealand 76-5 (Latham 22, de Grandhomme 8) Ummm, Matthew Wade replaces Pattinson for the first over after drinks. As I’ve said before on the OBO, he takes a lot of scalps bowling in the nets, routinely making life difficult for players as capable as David Warner. Even so, it didn’t feel like this was the next move after such a relentless first hour for the home side. Latham takes full advantage, twice carving shorter balls behind point, the second of those beating Lyon to the rope. It’s a no-ball, too. He gets half an over at de Grandhomme, which is a better match-up for his away-swingers. The all-rounder obliges, driving at the first of those, stopped in Wade’s follow through. There’s no stopping the square drive that follows though, a second boundary from a ball well wide of the off-stump. He’s furious at himself. 13 runs from it but New Zealand still trail by 391.

Cummins talks to TV at drinks. He’s very polite and positive. “At the moment it is all going to plan.” It sure is. Three wickets in that first hour, very much Australia’s.

29th over: New Zealand 63-5 (Latham 16, de Grandhomme 2) Starc replaces the captivating Cummins, who now has 137 Test wickets in his 29th Test. A reminder that he’s only 26. He has 57 of those scalps at 19.82 in 2019, by far the best in the world. de Grandhomme is in strife here when the left-armer brings a full ball back at him, the inside edge his saviour. There’s no let up with this attack. DRINKS!

28th over: New Zealand 63-5 (Latham 16, de Grandhomme 2) de Grandhomme doesn’t settle here, beaten by Pattinson to begin then hacking when he should have been defending. Crucially, he gets off strike. Latham has to deal with another rapid short ball, ripping his bat out of the way at the last possible moment.

27th over: New Zealand 62-5 (Latham 16, de Grandhomme 1) Another Andrew Samson gem on SEN, with respect to Tom Latham, who is on for carrying his bat here. He already has the highest ever score when acheiving that feat - 264 not out. The lowest total for an opener not out at the end of a completed innings is 26, from 1889. History: we’ll take it where we can get it. His edge is found by the final ball of this Cummins over, albeit on the bounce to Warner at gully. He’s playing well as these wickets fall around him, comfortable ducking the short stuff too.

Brute of a ball from Pattinson to get Watling, not too far away from the spot Smith talked about on day one #AusvNZpic.twitter.com/2bb8sI1ZsT

26th over: New Zealand 62-5 (Latham 16, de Grandhomme 1) All of a sudden, that follow-on mark has to be in the frame. You don’t normally expect that at the MCG but they have only been out there for 25.2 overs - with a sleep in between - as de Grandhomme walks to the middle. He’s off the mark first ball behind square. Latham has a crack at a bumper now that he’s back on strike, pulling in front of square for three. Nicely played. Pattinson is all over the new man with the two balls he has to come, beating him outside the off-stump them crashing into his front pad with an off-cutter. These two have been quite magnificent this morning.

Kevin Roberts was on SEN radio this morning, the main news point that the CA boss is very keen on four-day Tests, saying they will “seriously consider” them. I’m far from convinced. Yes, you can point to the number of Tests that would have finished in four days if applying the extra overs but the rhythm of the game changes entirely when that fifth day is taken out of the equation. Not for me.

Outstanding bowling, Pattinson angling in at pace, Watling edging to first slip from the shoulder of his bat. He tried to keep it down but there was too much going on.

25th over: New Zealand 57-4 (Latham 12, Watling 7) Cummins keeps the cordon jumping, hitting Latham on the arm with a short ball that he can’t get out the way of. Next up, showing his class, the off-cutter finds the inside edge and nearly deflects back onto the woodwork. Andrew Samson reveals on SEN radio that Nicholls wicket was the first lbw decision Cummins has won for 70 dismissals!

McCullum reckons Williamson hasn't been enjoying captaincy much of late. He spoke to him this morning to remind him that there are a lot of NZ supporters who have come to MCG to see them play and want to see team enjoying the game #AUSvNZ

24th over: New Zealand 56-4 (Latham 11, Watling 7) Another testing Pattinson over, Latham playing a short ball early in the over with both feet off the deck. Plays it well. Ooh, less so later in the over when wafting at a ball outside the off-stump. There have been a stack of those already this morning. Deserves a scalp.

23rd over: New Zealand 55-4 (Latham 10, Watling 7) Good again from Watling, playing carefully through cover with the movement of the ball, taking a couple. That shape is there again next up, beating his outside edge. Once again, there isn’t a lot he could have done about that. Cummins has 10-3-16-3. What a bowler.

“Good morning from a 25C beach shack in northern Tasmania,” reports Tom Lewis. “With that and OBO, my day is set.” Great to have you with us.

“You suggest that ‘technology confirms that was the right call’. Could it be instead that technology hinted/indicated/postulated ... etc.” I’m Team Technology, mostly because it pits me against the dinosaurs and that’s usually the right lane to be in.

22nd over: New Zealand 53-4 (Latham 10, Watling 5) Smith DROPS LATHAM! It was going straight down the throat of Burns at first slip but Smith decided to dive right in front of him from second and put it down. That should have been three wickets in eight balls. Disappointing for Pattinson, who has been just as good as Cummins this morning. It’s hard to understand why Smith went there. It’s different going the other way when the ball isn’t going to carry but that was not an issue there. He ran down to apologise to the bustling quick at the end of the over.

Dropped! Latham gets a life! #AUSvNZ live: https://t.co/Q5Lvt45rWOpic.twitter.com/xsksVsB35I

21st over: New Zealand 51-4 (Latham 9, Watling 4) Watling is off the mark with a crisp off-drive for four. It’s a rugged time for him to be walking out, but if we’ve learned one thing about the Kiwi stumper it’s that he’s unflappable.

Here’s a replay of that first Cummins wicket.

WATLING DEFENDS THE HAT-TRICK BALL. He had to play and did it well. That’s the fourth time in four Tests this summer an Australian has been on one.

Oh, that’s out! It’s hitting leg stump, Cummins having beaten the inside edge from around the wicket on the angle. Superb bowling. He’s on a hat-trick! An Australian man hasn’t taken one in a Test since Siddle - on his birthday - in November 2010.

CUMMINS IS ON A HAT-TRICK! So long as DRS agrees that Nicholls is lbw first ball. He was given on the field and looked very, very good.

Taylor dropped by Labuschagne but is caught on the deflection by Burns at first slip! Miller and Tavare, anyone? Such good bowling. Taylor never settled.

20th over: New Zealand 46-2 (Taylor 4, Latham 9) Wheels from Pattinson to begin from the Great Southern Stand end, where he will be well supported today. Into Taylor, he thumps into the back thigh pad then beats the outside edge with a lovely little bit of movement away from the bat. He has three slips, Labuschagne setting up nice and close at third. Taylor is a cool customer and responds with a neat tuck, behind square for one. Latham’s turn now, who has a couple to get through. He’s forward defending the first of those with a nice, straight bat but he’s beaten on the angle to finish. That wasn’t far away at all. Two tip top overs to begin for Australia’s big, bad right-arm fast bowlers.

19th over: New Zealand 44-2 (Taylor 2, Latham 9) Cummins is right on it to Taylor, finding the outside half of his bat. The Black Caps veteran gets down the other end for his first run of the day from the fourth ball, pushing to mid-on. He requires 49 further runs today in order to overtake Stephen Fleming as New Zealand’s highest Test runscorer. We’ll keep an eye on that. Latham plays and misses his first delivery of the day, an excellent offering from around the wicket cutting away off the seam after angling in. Not a lot he can do about it. A huge shout from the Australians to finish the over! Cummins has beaten the inside edge and he wants an lbw decision; the fielders around the bat are also interested in whether it hit an inside edge on the way through before landing in Warner’s diving hands at gully. They elect not to review and technology confirms that was the right call - the lbw was going over the stumps and the sound was bad on pad, not ball. Great over.

The players are on the field! Cummins, the world’s best quick, will be starting us off from the Members End. Ross Taylor is on strike. This should be good. PLAY!

Another from Tim Paine last night. He said that Travis Head was always playing and commentary from the skipper about potentially playing five bowlers ahead of this Test was strategic misdirection of the New Zealanders via the media. Hmm. I know there’s a lot of distaste for cricket reporters and plenty of conspiracy theories about us concocting our stories, but, yeah, I’m not sure about this.

It’s becoming one of the great midsummer traditions. Backyard cricket, the Boxing Day Test and questioning the ball-tracking technology used by DRS. Tim Paine played his part at stumps last night, saying he’s lost faith in the system.

Have you ever wondered how the DRS works?

Howie takes us on a tour backstage at the MCG and into the DRS truck.#AUSvNZpic.twitter.com/Zk97tUFk81

Back to the MCG, where solar panels are on the way. Good get this, from Andrew Wu at the SMH. It follows an Australian Conservation Foundation report yesterday, which detailed some serious challenges for the Boxing Day Test.

Related: Rising temperatures could imperil future of Boxing Day Test cricket, report warns

Speaking of the England team, did you catch the highlights overnight? Crazy scenes from start to end at Centurion. As one colleague noted, it can sometimes be quite a lot of fun watching two teams who can’t bat. Delicious fast bowling, too.

Related: Jofra Archer walks tightrope after bowling two beamers at nightwatchman

Eoin Morgan CBE, Ben Stokes OBE... and so on. Joe Root, Jos Buttler, Trevor Bayliss, Alan Knott! Sir Clive Lloyd. Colin Graves is in there too, of course. It must be the New Year Honours list!

Related: England's cricketers and exceptional women in sport honoured

Good morning to you all. Day three, or moving day as we cricket writers call it when there’s no better introduction to go with than ripping something off from golf. But for New Zealand, this is survival day first and foremost. At different periods through this series, the the visitors have found something from nothing. Having lost Kane Williamson, their skipper and superstar, not long before the close last night, they now need plenty to go their way if they are to withstand the inevitable Australian surge. In simple terms, they have to bat all day.

With Ross Taylor, there is always hope of such a feat. Yes, he was lucky to survive a compelling leg before shout when James Pattinson was steaming in just before stumps, but the veteran is in form and has the patience for the task. Tom Latham, Henry Nicholls and BJ Watling have also achieved this often enough in Test cricket. The real quiz here is whether they can do so on this much bigger stage.

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South Africa set England 376 to win: first Test, day three – as it happened

December 28, 2019, 7:46 am
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Rory Burns’ superb 77 not out took England to 121 for one at the close - and gave them an outside chance of another miraculous run-chase

Related: Rory Burns rumbles South Africa to keep England’s first Test hopes alive

That’s it for today’s blog. I’ll leave you with Vic Marks’ match report from Centurion. Please join us in the morning for what should be England’s final day of cricket in 2019. It’s been such a crazy year that a tied Test would be the only sensible result. You have Super Overs in Test cricket, right?

Here’s Graham Thorpe, England’s batting coach

“It hasn’t been a straightforward Test match. We’ve had players coming and going with illness. We were pleased to show character and get through to the close tonight. We’d have taken this position if you’d offered it to us this morning.

Joe Denly applauds Rory Burns off the field. They are two admirable characters, so resourceful and courageous. Burns played expertly for his 77 not out, and was ruthless at putting away the bad balls. With every match, he looks more like England’s next Test captain.

41st over: England 121-1 (Burns 77, Denly 10) So nearly a wicket in the last over of the day! Burns edged Maharaj this far short of Elgar, plunging to his left at first slip. Burns survives and will resume tomorrow needing 23 more for a third Test century. More importantly, England need 255 more runs for a miraculous victory. It’s a slim chance, but that’s more than they had this morning.

40th over: England 118-1 (Burns 74, Denly 10) Denly gets his first boundary, guiding a loose ball from Pretorius through backward point. I still think it’s too early to get excited about a possible England win, but they have batted splendidly tonight.

39th over: England 114-1 (Burns 74, Denly 6) Maharaj has switched ends, in fact, to replace Philander. Burns sees him off. There should be time for two more overs.

Meanwhile, well done everyone.

Related: Government exposes addresses of new year honours recipients

38th over: England 112-1 (Burns 72, Denly 6) Pretorius replaces Maharaj, who bowled a crafty spell of 8-3-11-1. England look like they have shut up shop for the night, Denly in particular, and there is just one run from the over.

37th over: England 111-1 (Burns 71, Denly 6) A clever move from South Africa. The keeper de Kock moves up to the stumps, which means Denly has to go back into his crease to face Philander. He is beaten by the first ball under the new terms of battle before working a couple off the pads. England are 265 runs away from a bizarre and brilliant victory.

36th over: England 109-1 (Burns 71, Denly 4) A long hop from Maharaj is pulled vigorously for four by Burns. Maharaj responds with two good deliveries that beat the bat and hit Burns on the body. Good contest, this.

35th over: England 105-1 (Burns 67, Denly 4) Joe Denly has started watchfully, as is his wont, and has four for 21 balls at the end of that Philander over.

“Forget Root,” says Sam Cooper. “Forget Stokes. Forget Buttler. Is Burns the most important England batsman? Seems whenever he starts well the team does well behind him.”

34th over: England 102-1 (Burns 66, Denly 2) Maharaj is causing plenty of problems. Burns, out of his crease, misses an attempted work to leg and is grateful that the ball deflects off his pad and wide of de Kock. England have another 26 minutes to survive.

33rd over: England 101-1 (Burns 65, Denly 2) Philander seams another glorious delivery past Burns’ outside edge. His accuracy is almost comical.

32nd over: England 100-1 (Burns 64, Denly 2) A maiden from Maharaj to Denly.It looks like Ben Stokes is the next man in, with Joe Root unwell, though I’d imagine England will use a nightwatchman if a wicket falls in the last 15-20 minutes of the day’s play.

31st over: England 100-1 (Burns 64, Denly 2) Philander returns to the attack and has an optimistic LBW appeal against Denly turned down off his first ball. Far too high. Denly is batting outside his crease to Philander, as he did in the first innings, and works a single to bring up the England hundred.

30th over: England 99-1 (Burns 64, Denly 1) Maharaj gets one to rip sharply at Burns, who inside-edges it onto the body. The mood has changed since the wicket of Sibley, and England could lose one or two more in the 40 minutes before the close.

29th over: England 98-1 (Burns 64, Denly 0) Four more to Burns, nailed through the covers off Rabada. He is playing quite superbly.

28th over: England 92-1 (Burns 58, Denly 0) Sibley swished his bat in disgust when he was dismissed. It was a nothing shot to a poor ball. But he played well, making 29 from 90 balls, and should feel more comfortable in Test cricket than he did three hours ago.

Ach, Sibley has fallen to the left-arm spinner. He pushed a short delivery straight back at Maharaj, who took the return catch with glee. I don’t know whether that stopped in the pitch because it looked a very harmless delivery.

27th over: England 91-0 (Burns 57, Sibley 29) Sibley, who is playing confidently now, forces Rabada behind square on the off side for four. This has been an admirable performance from a young man trying to forge a Test career.

Here’s John Beaven. “As Bertie said, ‘Jeeves, of course, is a gentleman’s gentleman, not a butler, but if the call comes, he can buttle with the best of them.’”

26th over: England 86-0 (Burns 56, Sibley 25) Sibley flicks Maharaj through midwicket for four. He had trouble with Mitchell Santner in New Zealand, which is probably why Maharaj has been brought on. The decision almost pays off for South Africa when Sibley, defending on the front foot, inside-edges the ball into his balls. That could have gone anywhere.

25th over: England 82-0 (Burns 56, Sibley 21) Rabada walks away in disgust at his misfortune after beating Burns with another fine lifter.

24th over: England 80-0 (Burns 54, Sibley 21) There’s a hint of turn for Maharaj, who bowls another accurate maiden to the happily becalmed Sibley.

“There is a common misconception, which the link to fish being brain food shared, that Jeeves was a butler,” says Peter Dymoke. “He was a valet or gentleman’s personal gentleman. The two are quite different. Yours pedantically.”

23rd over: England 80-0 (Burns 54, Sibley 21) There’s an hour and ten minutes of play remaining. Burns forces Rabada through backward point for four to reach an extremely good half-century from only 62 balls. He’s such a smart, resourceful batsman. He adds four more with a confident extra-cover drive before Rabada produces a beauty to beat the outside edge.

Since the start of the Ashes - when he was probably one bad game away from being dropped - Burns averages 46 in Tests. And most of those runs have come against brilliant attacks on lively pitches.

22nd over: England 72-0 (Burns 46, Sibley 21) The left-arm spinner Keshav Maharaj comes into the attack and starts with a maiden to Sibley. That’s drinks.

“As you rightly say, we’re not in the dressing room, so everything is based on (mediated) impressions,” says Brian Withington. “Just between us, I am guessing that Bairstow might have felt somewhat aggrieved by the immediate media clamour for Foakes to be awarded the gloves in perpetuity after just one game (after anklegate). By way of context, Bairstow could perhaps claim that he was denied a regular slot in the Test and one-day teams for far too long due to the extended retention of favoured sons. Two wrongs don’t make a right of course, and I would rather he went away for a bit and worked on his red ball batting. But Buttler keeping in Tests!! Bad enough that he inexplicably gets the gig in the one day team, but surely Foakes must get the call for red ball. If there is anyone who should just focus on his batting it is surely Jos.”

21st over: England 72-0 (Burns 46, Sibley 21) If England win this, thanks to an unbeaten 145 from Jonny Bairstow, I am going to look an appreciable plonker. I still think South Africa will win comfortably - they have another 305 runs to play with - but it’s been an uplifting display of determination and commonsense from Burns and Sibley.

Out of nothing, Rabada produces a vicious lifter that hits Burns on the glove and loops to safety on the off side. That must have hit a crack.

20th over: England 68-0 (Burns 42, Sibley 21) South Africa have started bowling where Sibley wants. He times Pretorius sweetly through midwicket for four more. Having made six from his first 40 balls, Sibley has scored 15 from the last 26. Textbook stuff.

“I’m sure I read a tweet lately that demonstrated that Bairstow had a ludicrously good first class record in county cricket since making his first class debut and, arguably, earns his opportunity through repeatedly going back to the shires and delivering the goods to a greater extent than other English-qualified batsmen,” says Tom Van der Gucht. “He seems to me like a team man who will do anything he can to tenaciously cling onto his place in the team and deliver: he’ll bat wherever he’s asked to (although he brings the same technique and style) and has delivered in the past. I feel sorry for the chap: he’s always being dumped for Buttler who seems to still be getting picked on potential rather than results - a bit like a steady and reliable boy-next-door who keeps on getting dumped and passed over for the flash bad boy who owns their own Vauxhall Nova.”

19th over: England 63-0 (Burns 42, Sibley 17) Rabada returns to the attack. South Africa won’t be worried just yet, though they will hope the pitch is more malignant tomorrow. They are starting to lose a little patience, and when Rabada is too straight Sibley helps himself to a boundary off the hip. In the circumstances, both personal and collective, Sibley’s ability to stick to his gameplan has been pretty impressive.

18th over: England 58-0 (Burns 41, Sibley 13) “Fish: the science bit,” says Kim Thonger. “Useful link for coaches. Remember, if Jeeves says it, it MUST be true.”

I thought you meant you’d been using Ask Jeeves. I was about to upbraid you for thinking it was still 1998, never mind 2016.

17th over: England 56-0 (Burns 41, Sibley 11) Sibley hasn’t scored many runs in his short Test career but he has at least hinted at his ability to bat time. This is his fifth Test innings and he has now faced 211 balls for his 53 runs. England are desperate for an old-fashioned opener who can consistently see off the new ball.

Burns is much more proactive, as a rule, and he moves into the forties with another efficient clip through midwicket for four off Nortje. The more comfortable he looks at Test level, the more likely it is that he will be England’s next Test captain.

16th over: England 51-0 (Burns 37, Sibley 10) Burns is beaten, chasing a wide one from Pretorius. Nothing else to see here.

15th over: England 51-0 (Burns 37, Sibley 10) “Hi Rob,” says Daniel McDonald, before proceeding to matters of greater import.

If Burns is burned and Sibley is sickly,
and Denly is deathly and Root is rooted,

and Stokes is stoked but not like Lord’s and Leeds,
and Bairstow can only play as straight as [redacted],

14th over: England 50-0 (Burns 36, Sibley 10) Dwaine Pretorius replaces Vernon Philander, who bowled a classy opening spell of 6-2-13-0. Burns works a single to bring up a determined fifty partnership with his old Surrey mate Dom Sibley. That’s their second in three Tests together.

“I’m scratching my head here trying to figure out exactly how Jonny Bairstow became the poster boy for everything that’s wrong with the Test team?” says Brian Withington. “When did caring so much about playing for England and working like a dog to improve your game become the focus of our opprobrium? My impression from afar is that the guy has none of the Gerrard-Lampard axis of entitlement, which is perhaps why he was so desperate to keep the gloves, regardless of where he was shunted around the batting order. Reminds me more of Paul Scholes than the other pair, except I somehow doubt he will throw in the towel. Joe Cole with attitude, perhaps - he would have offered to take the gloves play in goal in order to get in the England team.”

13th over: England 49-0 (Burns 35, Sibley 10) The pitch has been relatively placid today, as if sleeping off the excesses of day two. Sibley is still playing and missing once an over, mind you, and he obliges from Nortje’s fifth delivery. The follow-up ball is too short, too straight, and Sibley works it to fine leg for his fourth boundary. For all his technical eccentricity, there is plenty to admire in Sibley’s temperament.

12th over: England 44-0 (Burns 34, Sibley 6) Philander continues to toy with Sibley, varying his line between fourth and sixth stump. Sibley, beaten again early in the over, eventually decides to play outside off stump - he scythes the last ball through the covers for two.

11th over: England 40-0 (Burns 33, Sibley 3) Too straight from Nortje, and Burns fizzes him through midwicket for four. Excellent shot. Nortje moves around the wicket as a result - but he strays onto the pads a second time and Burns clips another boundary through midwicket.

Burns is never going to change the world but he is such an impressive, pragmatic batsman.

10th over: England 32-0 (Burns 25, Sibley 3) Oof, Burns is dropped by van der Dussen! He edged a stunning delivery from Philander to the right of first slip, where van der Dussen put down a tricky low chance. He may have been put off by de Kock diving across in front of him, though I suspect he’d take that seven times out of 10. This time the ball went through and ran away for four runs.

“I think England need to bed in and build a solid base from which to hopefully expand and express themselves tomorrow,” says Shane Kirk. “Not only because it’ll be good for the morale of the side, but mainly because we don’t have Sky and we’re not due at the in-laws (who do) until much later this afternoon.”

9th over: England 27-0 (Burns 20, Sibley 3) South Africa have given Sibley nothing that he can work into the leg side. That shouldn’t bother him, such is his patience, although the highest level can do funny things to the brain. All evidence from county cricket suggests Sibley won’t care if he finishes today on 7 not out from 117 balls. At the moment, after a maiden from Nortje, he has 3 from 28.

“Afternoon Rob,” says Kim Thonger. “I’ve become convinced that the England batting unit’s problem is mainly dietary. Could you use your global fame and influence to persuade Waitrose (as a sponsor) to put their Sushi Daily counters in ALL their branches. Here in Northamptonshire, a sushi wasteland, our young people are deprived of healthy and nutritious raw fish and my instinct tells me it’s holding back their development, particularly in respect of maintaining concentration when the balls are nipping back a bit outside the off stump. Would probably also help apprentice pacemen (and women) improve their length and line.”

8th over: England 27-0 (Burns 20, Sibley 3) Burns looks custom-made for a wicket-to-wicket bowler like Philander, given the way he skitters across the crease, but so far he has managed to get a bat on everything straight. Another interrogative over from Philander ends with a peach that just misses Burns’ outside edge.

7th over: England 27-0 (Burns 20, Sibley 3) Anrich Nortje replaces Kagiso Rabada, who bowled three expensive overs before tea, and zips a lovely delivery past Sibley’s outside edge. He’s struggling to survive, but he has enough experience to know things will get much easier if he can get past the new ball.

6th over: England 26-0 (Burns 19, Sibley 3) England run on a misfield and live to tell the tale, with Burns home before Nortje’s throw hit the stumps at the non-striker’s end. Sibley is then beaten on the inside by Philander, who is having sadistic fun of the cat/mouse variety.

“What do England need to do to rescue some respectability from a pretty shambolic start to the tour?” says Gary Naylor. “I feel that if they can make the highest innings of the match, they’ll have something to work with, but another collapse takes us into McGrathian territory. Happy New Year... but probably not.”

“Would it have helped if England had spent more time in South Africa preparing for this series and not gone to New Zealand?” says Paul McIntyre. “Everyone seems to agree the schedule is too busy but no one in the England set-up seems accountable for signing up to it.”

That a different issue, I think. Interviews with Ashley Giles, the newish ECB Managing Director, suggest he is acutely aware of the problem, but it’s not easy to resolve. Cricket (and most other sports) has sold so much of its soul in the last 20-30 years that it will be hard to make significant changes. It’s all pretty miserable.

“You wrote that Pope will play the second Test‘if he can dislodge Bairstow,’” says Andrew Hurley. “Wouldn’t he just need to throw something straight at him? (Sorry!)”

That made me laugh more than I expected. It took me by surprise. Like a full delivery at my off stump, honk.

5th over: England 24-0 (Burns 18, Sibley 2) Burns, reaching well wide of off stump, edges Rabada along the ground for four. It looks like he has decided to get as many as he can before the pitch gets him, and he goes to tea having made 18 from 18 balls. England need a further 352 runs to complete a hat-trick of miracles in 2019.

“Following a few football results over the last couple of evenings, I’m still on a sporting high, so not quite at the ‘praying for rain’ stage yet (with those famously wet SA summers, and all),” says Matt Dony. “I am, however, about to spend an afternoon with no mobile signal (yay for West Wales!), so not too sure what I’ll come back to. A couple of big scores, and a good, hard look at themselves before the next Test would be nice. See what you can do, Rob.”

4th over: England 18-0 (Burns 12, Sibley 2) Philander makes a lone enquiry for caught behind - as much to his team-mates as the umpire - when Sibley is beaten outside off stump. It missed the bottom edge of the bat. Sibley is beaten again later in the over, this time by a gorgeous delivery.

Whatever happens in this innings, I hope Sibley is given at least the rest of this series, and probably the Sri Lanka Tests as well. There are concerns about his technique, that much is true. But it would be scandalous to drop him after three Tests, particularly in view of the chances given to more experienced players.

3rd over: England 18-0 (Burns 12, Sibley 2) Burns drives Rabada handsomely through mid-off for four, and England get some bonus runs when a short ball clears de Kock and runs away for four byes.

“I’ve suddenly become engrossed in a hardbound 2019 Wisden which was lying untouched,” says Abhijato Sensarma. “Kohli was the Cricketer of the Year in both 2018 and 2019. Who do you think will take the honour this time around? Surely, Ben Stokes?”

2nd over: England 8-0 (Burns 6, Sibley 2) Sibley is the first man to be tied up in the chair and interrogated by Philander. He gets off the mark with a clip for two and survives the over without alarm.

“We’ve been here many times, Rob,” says Guy Hornsby. “Too many of them recently. I agree we can’t keep trying to shoehorn the big names in just so no one’s upset. The difference with the Gerrard-Lampard epoch is that we had a great core of players to pick from but stuffed it up. Here we have a mix of brilliant, good, could be legendary and not really sure but by persisting with this rigid must-pick XI, we scupper it for everyone. Right now though, I’d just like us to put up a fight, but this has 145 all out written all over it. Penny for Chris Silverwood’s thoughts. At least Pope should be ok for the next Test.”

1st over: England 6-0 (Burns 6, Sibley 0) Rabada opens the bowling at the Sacrifical Pom End. Burns edges the first ball of the innings along the ground for four. He is then given out LBW, but successfully reviews. It looked a poor decision from Chris Gaffaney and replays confirmed the ball would have missed off stump. It didn’t quite come back enough, though it was a beautiful delivery.

Here’s Ian Andrew on the subject of England’s retch-tastic second Test in India in 1963-64. “When Jimmy Binks was asked to open the England second innings, his comment was apparently, ‘Wait till Freddie Trueman hears about this!’”

The first task for the England openers is to negotiate a miserable 20-minute mini-session before tea. Dom Sibley, in particular, could really do with a score. A dogged 30 or 40 would do him the world of good.

This is on BT Sport tonight. I’ve seen a preview and can unequivocally recommend it. (Full disclosure: I know the director, but despite his involvement it is fantastic.)

"We were striking a blow against the very foundations of apartheid."

50 years ago, a protest movement changed sport in South Africa and helped bring down a racist regime.#StopTheTour tells the details of a remarkable story.

Friday, 10pm | BT Sport 1 HD pic.twitter.com/SnjytBfCEF

The stand-in keeper Bairstow takes a spectacular leaping catch to dismiss Philander and end England’s suffering, at least for the next 10 minutes. England need 376 to win. No.

61st over: South Africa 264-9 (Philander 45, Rabada 9) On Sky Sports, Ian Ward has just referred to “England’s powerful middle order”. I wish everyone would realise it’s no longer 2016. It’s 2019, almost 2020, and KG Rabada has just clouted Archer over cover for four more. That brings up Archer’s hundred. For someone so economical, his figures are most peculiar: 17-1-102-5.

60th over: South Africa 258-9 (Philander 44, Rabada 5) Philander loves batting against England. He averages 41 in Tests, easily his highest, and made important runs in victories at Lord’s (2012), Trent Bridge (2017) and Centurion (2019).

Rabada, meanwhile, gets off the mark with an elegant cover drive for four off Curran. South Africa lead by 360. That’s fine, because England have a lot of 360 batsmen. Right? RIGHT?

59th over: South Africa 251-9 (Philander 42, Rabada 0) Tum20 Blast is the subject of James Debens’ email. “These aren’t the runs, big heaves and Trotts I was praying for! *waggles cigar* Try the veal (substitute).”

Jofra Archer completes a peculiar five-for when Maharaj top-edges a smear to fine leg. There is no real celebration from Archer, unsurprisingly given the match situation and the fact he’s going at more than six an over.

58th over: South Africa 247-8 (Philander 39, Maharaj 10) The collective sickness has made this a very difficult match for England. It’s only a partial reason for the result, however, and I hope they don’t overplay it. This England Test team are very good - the best in the world, probably - at rationalising defeat and explaining why it will be different next time.

Thanks John, morning everyone. We all know how this ends; the only question is whether it will do so today or tomorrow.

And that’s drinks– South Africa lead by 345 and England are in survival mode. So it’s a perfect time for me to pass you over to the estimable Rob Smyth, who’ll take you through the rest of the day.

57th over: South Africa 242-8 (Philander 34, Maharaj 10) Maharaj, who seems to be enjoying himself, edges Archer through the (empty) slips for a single. Philander pushes down the ground for another. Maharaj skews a hook away safely for another. Philander clips off the hop for another.

56th over: South Africa 238-8 (Philander 32, Maharaj 8) Curran returns to the fray. Maharaj bends his front leg and lofts him over the covers for four! Fine shot that.

Another Curran is having an interesting time over in Australia:

Scenes! Incredible from Curran, who hits 15 from the final over but is run-out going for the match-winning run. Scores level! #BBL09

Super Over time: https://t.co/XA50ZJcGkphttps://t.co/qjyqK7AKf0

55th over: South Africa 231-8 (Philander 31, Maharaj 3) Jofra Archer returns in the hope of picking up his third five-fer in 12 Test innings. Philander, after a biiig swing-and-miss, is able to dink him away to leg for a couple. The South Africa batsman actually dealt with that over very well despite that rather optimistic heave early on.

54th over: South Africa 226-8 (Philander 26, Maharaj 3) Philander is the latest batsman to take an injury break after fending off a Stokes delivery with his box. Youchy. The score edges up with a couple of singles – the lead is now an imposing 329.

53rd over: South Africa 223-8 (Philander 24, Maharaj 2) Maharaj hooks Anderson for a single – six words which say a bit about England’s bowling performance today.

“I am sitting (careful how you spell that!) in my AirBnB in the Centurion area with a ticket for today’s play (and tomorrow’s and all of the Cape Town Test) somewhat indisposed. At both ends!” yelps Neil Waterfield. “Is there any advice coming out of the England camp on how to deal with this bug? The effects of yesterday’s numerous Immodium seem to have Warne off!” If Joe Root is any indication, the best thing to do is to stand in a slip cordon looking like you’ve just got off the waltzers.

52nd over: South Africa 221-8 (Philander 23, Maharaj 1) A neat and tidy over from Stokes, who has probably been England’s best bowler so far today.

On the subject of the Sickest Test, here’s Steve Hudson: “I don’t know if this has been mentioned already, and I’d be surprised if it hasn’t, but the second Test between England and India in 1963-4 at the Brabourne Stadium, Mumbai, featured an England side with only two specialist batsmen, three if you include Jim Parks. Two wicket keepers, four pace bowlers and two spinners, plus Mike Smith who was unable to take the field. The 10 players who managed to play throughout the game were the only members of the touring party who were able to.”

Oh. Out of nowhere De Kock, who has been pretty much becalmed in the 40 minutes since lunch, pushes forward and feathers an edge through to Bairstow.

51st over: South Africa 220-7 (De Kock 34, Philander 23) Anderson doesn’t look a particularly happy bunny out there – he’s struggled to ask many questions of this pair.

This may explain the presence of a very peaky Joe Root:

Root is back. ECB say he has to be on the field for 40 minutes from 1pm for him to bat in the top six.

50th over: South Africa 218-7 (De Kock 33, Philander 22) De Kock is OK to carry on after some attention but it looked a painful blow. Stokes is a whisker away from picking up Philander but an inside-edge somehow evades the stumps.

49th over: South Africa 216-7 (De Kock 33, Philander 21) Joe Root trots – ahem– back on to the field to prompt much headscratching. The England camp first said he was in quarantine. Then he came back. Then he went off again and word was he was looking pretty bad. Now he’s back once more. So who knows? Perhaps only Root himself it seems.

Anderson continues but De Kock keeps his powder dry. From the last he takes a whack on a finger and needs some treatment.

48th over: South Africa 216-7 (De Kock 33, Philander 21) Another wonderful drive from Philander sends the ball whistling down the cover boundary as Stokes overpitches. Much of the criticism of England today has focussed on them bowling too short, which is all well and good, but they’ve bowled poorly whenever they’ve pitched it up too.

47th over: South Africa 211-7 (De Kock 32, Philander 17) A few singles off Anderson’s latest. Fact fans will be interested to know that this game in 2000 saw the highest run chase in Centurion. Yes, this one:

Related: Cronje comes clean on life of shame

46th over: South Africa 206-7 (De Kock 30, Philander 15) Stokes (3-1-6-1) continues but Philander channels a bit of his batting partner and heaves him away over midwicket for a one-bounce four. Again he pinches the strike off the penultimate ball so De Kock only has the one ball to face and he leaves alone outside off.

A thought from our chief sports writer:

I need a refresher on why Root making 200 on a road in a losing series means he's a good captain now

45th over: South Africa 202-7 (De Kock 30, Philander 10) Joe Root has not returned to the field after lunch – England’s batting order could be quite interesting. Anyway Anderson gets the ball after the break. He sends down four tidy dots at Philander but the fifth is in the slot and the South Africa No 9 unfurls a superb cover drive four to bring up the 200. He pinches the strike from the last too.

Players back out. Can England polish this off quickly?

“Win or lose, this ought to be in the 2010s roundups as England’s Sickest Test Ever,” writes John Starbuck. “Is that right? I suspect there have been others where a bug swept through team, but were quite so many laid up?” Indeed, Joe Root was off the field again as the morning session came to an end.

The knives are out for England after that morning session. On Sky there’s been nothing but opprobrium for England’s tactics, while Michael Vaughan has tweeted: “The England Test Team need to admit they have a Test Match Cricket Problem. Only then will it improve ...”

So 125 runs and three wickets in a lively session.

44th over: South Africa 197-7 (De Kock 30, Philander 5) The last over before lunch here I reckon. Stokes to bowl it. De Kock lofts him over the infield for a single – he moves to 30 from 16 – and Philander blocks one into the on-side for another to make the lead 300. And that’s the way it’ll be at lunch.

43rd over: South Africa 195-7 (De Kock 29, Philander 4) Here we go – Archer v De Kock II. The first is banged in short … and heaved away for six! And the second is flat-batted down the ground for four. The third is a short bouncer which is signalled a wide. And Nasser Hussain makes a pertinent point on commentary – even if this ploy works for England now and De Kock spoons up a catch, the damage is pretty much done.

42nd over: South Africa 181-7 (De Kock 16, Philander 4) England have just about dragged themselves back into this game with three wickets in 19 balls. But they’re hardly in a position of strength. Philander edges for four as the lead heads towards 300.

Stokes gets the ball in his hands for the first time this morning and he has struck! Pretorius edges a full one through to Sibley at slip.

41st over: South Africa 177-6 (De Kock 16, Pretorius 7) Four wickets for Archer now. Pretorious gets off the mark with a cracking tip-toed back-foot drive for four. Lovely stuff. He adds two more with a push through the same area. As Pretorius made his way to the crease Stokes and Broad had what appeared to be a very heated discussion in Englan’s huddle. But whatever the disagreement was a fist-bump at the end of the over draws it to a close.

Nortje’s vigil comes to an end, Archer finally getting one to flick off bat and pad. Crawley takes a sharp catch at close range.

40th over: South Africa 170-5 (Nortje 40, De Kock 16) Broad takes the opposite tack to De Kock, pitching the ball up. That keeps him quiet for a few balls but from the last he flails a glorious cover drive through for four more. Sixteen from 10 so far for De Kock.

39th over: South Africa 165-5 (Nortje 39, De Kock 12) To say England needed that is something of an understatement. The wicket brings Quinton de Kock to the crease with the lead at 256. He gets off the mark … with a huge six over backward square leg! Because of course he does. Archer bangs it in short again – De Kock smashes it for six again! What a cricketer Quinton de Kock is. There was a bit more top edge about the second but it still flew into the stands. And in the blink of an eye the lead races to 268 …

A slower ball from Archer clonks into the front pad and this time the umpire’s finger goes up. Van der Dussen reviews but it’s clipping leg and he has to go.

38th over: South Africa 153-4 (Van der Dussen 51, Nortje 39) Van der Dussen bunts and charges through for a single that brings up his half-century. A terrific knock from the debutant. Nortje is not be far off joining him – he crashes a back-foot drive through the covers for four more, though his technique against the short ball has been cojone-based more than anything.

37th over: South Africa 145-4 (Van der Dussen 49, Nortje 34)“May not be in the spirit of the game but if all the English players are this contagious, might one suggest nine men around the bat?” ponders Pete Salmon. To that end (maybe) a very peaky looking Joe Root is unquarantined and back in the slips. Nortje again has to contend with plenty of short stuff, round the wicket from Archer this time.

36th over: South Africa 142-4 (Van der Dussen 48, Nortje 32) Five wides from Broad to add to England’s pain. Illness or no, everyone in the England camp will be feeling a little queasy now. Nortje – who has delivered a textbook nightwatchman performance – wears one on the ribcage and has to call for some treatment from the physio. That was a painful one and a sign of a bit of a change of tack from England. Two balls remain after that injury break and from the last Nortje somehow survives after a panicked attempt to fend off another short one drops between three fielders.

35th over: South Africa 136-4 (Van der Dussen 47, Nortje 32) Archer continues and has Nortje fending and dodging, successfully as it happens.

“Morning John,” begins Guy Hornsby. Morning Guy. “I know it’s hardly positivity central but we’ve got a night watchman in and we’ve only got two slips and a third man? With the most productive swing bowler in Test history bowling! It all feels a bit negative. Maybe it’s the illness, but the field placings and atmosphere seems pretty flat. This feels like 350 lead and all out for a miserable 160.” It does a bit.

34th over: South Africa 133-4 (Van der Dussen 46, Nortje 30) Broad finds Van der Dussen’s edge this time but the ball just fails to carry to a diving Ben Stokes at third slip. It was a very decent effort from England’s current on-field captain but the ball trundles away for four. VDD celebrates with a couple of gorgeous cover drives for a pair of boundaries. South Africa’s lead races up to 236.

33rd over: South Africa 120-4 (Van der Dussen 33, Nortje 30) Archer sends one fizzing into Van der Dussen’s pads and review it after the umpire shakes his head. Hawkeye shows the ball clipping leg stump – clipping enough to tear leg stump out of the ground but clipping all the same. Not out. Then a couple of boundaries: an Archer bouncer evades everyone and a very neatly timed Nortje drive.

And even more bad news for England: Joe Root is feeling unwell and has joined the band of nauseous brothers in Quarantine:

32nd over: South Africa 109-4 (Van der Dussen 32, Nortje 25) Broad gets through another tidy, uneventful over. A couple of singles come from it.

31st over: South Africa 106-4 (Van der Dussen 31, Nortje 24) Jofra Archer comes into the attack for the first time this morning. Nortje flaps awkwardly at a short one but can’t make contact. From the last ball of the over there’s another run-out chance but Denly can’t hit the stumps from point.

30th over: South Africa 104-4 (Van der Dussen 30, Nortje 23) The first bowling change of the morning – Stuart Broad comes into the attack. There’s another run-out chance as Nortje sends Van der Dussen back but Zak Crawley, on as a sub fielder, misses his shy at the stumps. Tidy enough from Broad, without being particularly threatening.

29th over: South Africa 103-4 (Van der Dussen 30, Nortje 22) Curran continues and Van der Dussen immediately scampers another single. He’s been quite happy to watch most of this morning’s action from the non-striker’s end while Nortje irritates the bowlers at the other end. And to prove the point, the nightwatchman flails a full delivery down to cow corner for four more.

28th over: South Africa 97-4 (Van der Dussen 29, Nortje 17) Another edge from Nortje, another boundary down to third man. That takes the lead to 200. Anderson – delighted, of course – has a brief word with Nortje at the non-striker’s end. England need something to happen and they need it soon.

27th over: South Africa 92-4 (Van der Dussen 28, Nortje 13) Curran comes round the wicket and discomfits the stubborn Nortje with a couple – there’s a huge appeal after a full one thunders into the back pad but the angle means it’s sliding down. Nortje adds the salt by aiming a drive down the ground and edging wide of slip for the first boundary of the morning.

26th over: South Africa 88-4 (Van der Dussen 28, Nortje 9) Van der Dussen clips Anderson to deep midwicket for three as South Africa continue this steady start. They’ve had a couple of scares – the run-out chance and that review by Nortje – but they’re through the first half hour without loss. Anderson beats Nortje all ends up outside off here but the nightwatchman survives again and is able to turn the next to backward square for a single.

25th over: South Africa 84-4 (Van der Dussen 25, Nortje 8) And that’s the end of the over.

The ball has clearly come off Nortje’s shoulder.

Curran gets one to rear at Nortje, who fends outside off and sees the ball fly through to Bairstow. The finger goes up but he reviews immediately.

24th over: South Africa 81-4 (Van der Dussen 23, Nortje 7) Van der Dussen takes a bonkers single and would’ve been out by a yard had Sibley hit the stumps after running in from cover. That’s the only notable action from an otherwise tidy enough over from Anderson.

23rd over: South Africa 78-4 (Van der Dussen 21, Nortje 6) An uncomfortable moment for Dom Sibley as he slides in the outfield and his knee jams in the soft turf. He’s wincing for the rest of the over but seems otherwise unhurt. Three from the Curran over.

So in the three Tests since Jonny Bairstow was dropped and told to focus on his batting England’s wicketkeepers have been Jos Buttler, Ollie Pope and now err Jonny Bairstow...

22nd over: South Africa 75-4 (Van der Dussen 20, Nortje 4) James Anderson (4-0-19-1) at the other end and Van der Dussen tickles away the first runs of the morning, Anderson straying on to his pads. There’s a yelp of an appeal as VDD shoulders arms outside off and is struck on the pad but there wasn’t quite enough movement back in for Anderson there. He’s clearly looking for an lbw against the upright Van der Dussen, who clips another single to leg, playing around his front pad a little. And from the last Nortje hops and prods uncertainly. Some excellent stuff from Anderson there.

21st over: South Africa 72-4 (Van der Dussen 17, Nortje 4) Sam Curran gets the honour for England, sending down a couple of wide looseners at Nortje before finding his line just outside off. He has the nightwatchman playing and missing at the last. A maiden.

Right, the players are out on the field. Off we go for a(nother) big first hour …

A couple of bits of news: Jos Buttler has joined the England sick ward so Bairstow will take the gloves today. And South Africa’s Aiden Markram has broken a finger – he’s out of the series.

In other news, Jofra Archer has to be careful today after yesterday’s slightly bizarre moment at the very end of the day:

Related: Jofra Archer walks tightrope after bowling two beamers at nightwatchman

Related: England's cricketers and exceptional women in sport honoured

Hello all and welcome to day three of this enthralling Test. It’s all rather nicely poised isn’t it? South Africa lead by 175 with six second-innings wickets remaining. England aren’t quite out of it but will need a flurry of wickets this morning to stay in the game. South Africa, already in the box seat, know that – what? – another 120-odd runs might be all they need. The first few hours today could be spectacular. At least, England will hope they are.

To catch up, here’s Vic Marks on day two:

Related: South Africa take charge of first Test against England as wickets tumble

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Australia win the Boxing Day Test by 247 runs – as it happened

December 28, 2019, 11:19 pm
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Here’s your match report:

Related: Australia crush New Zealand at MCG to secure series

Well, that was comprehensive. Australia dominant across all four days of this MCG Test despite Tom Blundell’s rearguard century today and a couple of awkward partnerships.

This has been an extremely disappointing tour from New Zealand who arrived with such hope but will trudge to Sydney with their tail between their legs. The opposite is the case for Australia who are now rampant with a thrilling attack and runs flowing from batsmen not just called Smith.

Travis Head named player of the match for his first-innings 114.

Tim Paine: “Batters applied themselves on day one... James Pattinson started the rot today and we all shared the load.”

“We’re playing well but we need consistency, all the guys stepping up, not just one or two contributing, and that’s starting to happen.”

Kane WIlliamson: “We weren’t quite at our best” explains the Kiwi skipper about day one, when he inserted Australia after winning the toss. He then credits Australia’s attack for being the difference in the match. “Their pace, bounce and accuracy” in particular.

Trent Boult does not come out so New Zealand are all out. Australia complete a thumping victory.

Oh no! Blundell will not carry his bat after all, holing out to Lyon off Labuschagne. The end of a quite brilliant innings.

71st over: New Zealand 240-8 (Blundell 121, Wagner 6) Another four! Another c&b drop! It’s all happening late on at the MCG! Blundell carves Labuschagne through the covers then offers a very gettable return chance but the bowler flinches in his follow through and shells the mistimed drive. Blundell dismisses the rare error and whacks another boundary through wide long-on. But then...

70th over: New Zealand 232-8 (Blundell 113, Wagner 6) Just to reinforce his alpha status today, Blundell is now batting in his black cloth cap while there are spinners bowling in tandem. Liberated from his helmet he smashes consecutive fours off Lyon through midwicket. Wagner gets in on the act, bludgeoning Lyon back down the ground for four meaty runs. Technically that might have been a missed caught and bowled opportunity but that was like trying to grab a fast-moving freight train.

Official attendance for Day 4 of the Boxing Day Test is 19,720 #AUSvsNZ

69th over: New Zealand 219-8 (Blundell 104, Wagner 2) Blundell makes a few runs and Wagner survives another handy Labuschagne over.

Fabulous century from Tom Blundell. The highest inns by a NZ opener at the MCG (John Wright, 99, 1987), and the first century by a NZ opener in Australia since Lou Vincent's 104 at Perth in 2001-02. #AusvNZ

68th over: New Zealand 216-8 (Blundell 101, Wagner 2) There’s no official word on Trent Boult yet, but we’re not expecting him to bat with broken hand, so this is effectively the last wicket partnership. Australia have 55 minutes to end it.

Yes, no, waiting, sorry. Chaos out in the middle for New Zealand, and it ends with Tim Southee trudging off. He dabbed what should have been an easy single into the off-side but there was hesitation in the call and by the time Pattinson threw the ball into Paine’s gloves both batsmen were at the non-striker’s end. The end is nigh.

67th over: New Zealand 214-7 (Blundell 101, Southee 2) Marnus Labuschagne is tossed the ball and he shows why with an opening delivery that draws Blundell forward before spinning past the centurion’s outside edge. A very promising maiden from the part-time leggie.

66th over: New Zealand 214-7 (Blundell 101, Southee 2) The official word from the ground is that the extra half-hour will be taken to achieve a result tonight (on top of the half hour allowed for the sides to get through their allotted overs). In other words we could be here until 6.30pm.

If we end up requiring tomorrow...

Day 4 MCG crowd is 19,270. Gold coin entry tomorrow if we get that far, or $10 to "experience" the Boundary Social #AusvNZ

A fine Santner innings ends tamely when he goes back to a Lyon delivery that turns and just grazes his outside edge before nestling in Paine’s gloves.

65th over: New Zealand 210-6 (Blundell 100, Santner 26) Late on a hot day, with an old ball, Pat Cummins is still bending his back, but this has been a long old slog for Australia since lunch.

There it is!

A brilliant from Tom Blundell #AUSvNZpic.twitter.com/h8DmdiOg2S

Blundell gets to three figures the first ball of Cummins’ over, and the MCG erupts. A clip just wide of midwicket precedes a scamper and a well-judged single. Blundell removes his helmet, soaks up the adulation, and savours the innings of his life.

64th over: New Zealand 208-6 (Blundell 99, Santner 25) Four dots from Lyon to Blundell then some neat footwork engineers the batsman enough space to clip a single to long-on. New Zealand’s opener advances to 99!

63rd over: New Zealand 207-6 (Blundell 98, Santner 25) Blundell safely navigates another Cummins over and moves to 98 with his latest compulsive hook. Looks like we’re going to be coming back tomorrow after all. If we do, conditions are going to be brutal. 40C with gale force northerly winds. Yuk.

62nd over: New Zealand 206-6 (Blundell 97, Santner 25) Santner cuts Lyon for three to push New Zealand beyond 200 and bring Blundell on strike. The opener then survives a bat-pad that spent an age in the air but landed in an unguarded zone at leg-slip. Santner calls his colleague through for a single then dumps Lyon over long-on, much to the delight of the vocal Kiwi contingent in the stands.

61st over: New Zealand 198-6 (Blundell 96, Santner 18) Cummins replaces Pattinson and the change benefits the becalmed Blundell who plays an angled dab with soft hands to earn his first boundary in age through third-man. The Kiwi opener has been scoring slowly for a while now, but it’s not been a nervous 90s for Blundell, more a patient pre-ton passage.

60th over: New Zealand 194-6 (Blundell 92, Santner 18) Blundell’s been doing it in singles for about an hour now, and that continues in Lyon’s latest over. The Australian spinner hasn’t ragged that many this afternoon but he gets one to grip and spit past Santner’s edge that may introduce an element of doubt into the left-hander’s mind.

59th over: New Zealand 193-6 (Blundell 91, Santner 18) Santner is growing into his knock and he repels a Pattinson over without much difficulty. Australia’s seamers have found very little sideways movement today.

During that previous Lyon over Mitchell Starc did some fielding that ended with him grimacing and holding his knee. He’s still out on the ground but he’s in some discomfort. One to keep an eye on.

58th over: New Zealand 193-6 (Blundell 91, Santner 18) Santner looks all at sea against the quicks but a million dollars against the spin of Nathan Lyon. Another over, another boundary for the Kiwi no.8, two in fact, the first carved behind the point, the second driven against the spin through mid-on.

57th over: New Zealand 184-6 (Blundell 91, Santner 9) Pattinson is on the money, almost trapping Blundell LBW before whistling one past Santner’s outside edge. The latter then escapes despite clipping off his hip in the air in the region of square leg.

56th over: New Zealand 182-6 (Blundell 90, Santner 8) Santner strikes another boundary off Lyon, this time skipping down the pitch then timing a lofted straight drive back over the bowler’s head. No alarms for New Zealand that over.

55th over: New Zealand 178-6 (Blundell 90, Santner 4) An eventful maiden over from Pattinson. Blundell lives to fight another day.

Good review from Blundell! Overturns the LBW decision and resumes on 90 #AUSvNZpic.twitter.com/J0Fr6I5F4s

Not out! Blundell’s review is successful with DRS indicating the ball was bouncing over the bails. It did look a bit trigger happy from Nigel Llong for such a short delivery.

Pattinson takes over from Starc and from the third ball of his over he has Blundell LBW... but the batsman reviews immediately.

54th over: New Zealand 178-6 (Blundell 90, Santner 4) Santner gets off the mark with a very nicely timed back-foot drive through the covers. off Lyon Blundell creeps into the 90s.

53rd over: New Zealand 173-6 (Blundell 89, Santner 0) Blundell continues to hook compulsively, but his latest swipe to a Starc bouncer flies safely down to fine-leg. The resulting single invites Santner onto strike, and the no.8 looks ill-equipped to deal with Starc’s thunderbolts for long.

52nd over: New Zealand 172-6 (Blundell 88, Santner 0) What does Blundell do now? Does he go all out for his ton and forget about the match situation? The Kiwis are effectively seven-down remember because Trent Boult has a broken hand.

Another one goes, and it’s little surprise it’s CdG. One could charitably describe his brief innings as enterprising, but the more critical would call it reckless. One attempt to force the issue too many ends with a flick to leg coming off a thick inside-edge and travelling to the safe hands of Warner on the 45 at short fine-leg. Lyon is doing the job just when his team needed him to.

51st over: New Zealand 170-5 (Blundell 88, de Grandhomme 7) An all action over that goes for eight and provides half-chances from nearly every delivery. First off Starc finds the shoulder of de Grandhomme’s bat, but inexplicably there’s no gully in place to accept the catch - despite that being exactly how CdG was dismissed in the first innings. With Blundell on strike the pattern of previous overs is repeated, the batsman taking on the short ball, and getting away with it, just, hooking fractionally short of fine leg. CdG then teases point with a square cut that’s only a few inches over the leaping fielder as it travels to the boundary.

50th over: New Zealand 162-5 (Blundell 87, de Grandhomme 1) CdG is busy at the crease, and it eventually earns him the run he craved to get off the mark, but Lyon’s guile unsettled him. Breakthrough over for Australia, can they capitalise before the end fo the day?

Lyon with a huge breakthrough! He almost gets Watling with a top-edged sweep but he strikes soon after, getting one to rip through his gate from outside off, taking an inside-edge on its way through to Warner at leg-slip. Two handy partnerships in a row for the Kiwis but they’re running out of bodies.

THERE IT IS! Inside edge to Warner at leg slip... Lyon breaks the deadlock

Stream #AUSvNZ ad-break free on Kayo: https://t.co/CfILOrTeyB

Live blog : https://t.co/cb7BNWuKkLpic.twitter.com/MbmaGcurNG

49th over: New Zealand 159-4 (Blundell 87, Watling 20) Ooooh! Just as Ricky Ponting on TV was demanding Australia go short to the compulsive hooker Blundell, Starc does go short, Blundell does hook, and he feathers a tiny edge that flies agonisingly over the leaping Tim Paine behind the stumps. That has to be the home side’s plan of attack for the foreseeable.

48th over: New Zealand 153-4 (Blundell 82, Watling 19) Blundell again uses his feet to Lyon, and again takes the aerial route, this time earning four through long-on. He then offers a half-chance to the spinner when he belts a full toss just to the right of the diving bowler. After jogging a single Watling takes up the charge, using his feet and clipping four through midwicket. The Kiwis in the crowd are making plenty of noise. Two partnerships in a row at the MCG that have caused Australia problems on a surface that is as flat and even-paced as it has been all Test.

47th over: New Zealand 144-4 (Blundell 77, Watling 15) Starc replaces Cummins but this pair now have the measure of the surface. Blundell is happy to take on the short ball, hooking safely for one, while Watling is untroubled in defence.

46th over: New Zealand 143-4 (Blundell 76, Watling 15) After re-establishing their partnership after tea New Zealand are easing their way back into the runs. Watling collects four off Lyon with some handy footwork engineering enough space to guide a late cut down to the third-man fence.

45th over: New Zealand 139-4 (Blundell 76, Watling 11) Watling moves into double figures, and brings up the 50 partnership in the process, with a well-timed cover drive for three after Cummins errs in length.

44th over: New Zealand 136-4 (Blundell 76, Watling 8) That’s a welcome livener, Blundell using his feet and chipping Lyon for a couple down to cow corner.

43rd over: New Zealand 134-4 (Blundell 74, Watling 8) Cummins finds a genuine edge from Watling pushing forward but the batsman played it with an angled bat and the ball died well in front of second slip. There’s an end-of-the-day feel to proceedings already, despite 130-minutes of play still to go. The batsmen are focussed on defence, the fielding side isn’t getting much life out of the pitch, and the crowd has reached that state of inebriation where the scene has that dull roar of a soundtrack.

42nd over: New Zealand 133-4 (Blundell 73, Watling 8) Lyon is tossing the ball up, aiming for the footmarks wide outside the right-hander’s off-stump. The majority are hitting that region, and turning and bouncing, but Watling is equal to them. He eschews defence against the final delivery of the over, and almost regrets it, when his whip to the on-side floats off a leading edge, but it lands safely.

41st over: New Zealand 131-4 (Blundell 73, Watling 6) Cummins shares duties after tea and he matches Lyon’s maiden with one of his own.

40th over: New Zealand 131-4 (Blundell 73, Watling 6) Oooh, Nathan Lyon begins proceedings after tea and he almost jags Watling straight away but Labuschagne can’t grasp a difficult diving chance at silly point after the batsman tickled an inside edge onto his thigh pad. Maiden.

The final session of the day is almost upon us. The embarrassment that is modern over-rates means we’ll be playing through until 6pm local time (30 minutes later than scheduled) and we’ll still fall well short of seeing the remaining 40 scheduled overs bowlers.

After their calamitous morning session New Zealand regrouped well during the afternoon and Tom Blundell is growing into an impressive innings. Australia may yet have to return tomorrow to complete their series victory.

39th over: New Zealand 131-4 (Blundell 73, Watling 6) The runs are starting to flow for New Zealand now. Blundell earns four of them the hard way - all run - with a square drive off Cummins, then he smashes four more with a classical front foot push just wide of the diving mid-off. This is turning into a coming-of-age knock for the makeshift opener.

38th over: New Zealand 123-4 (Blundell 65, Watling 6) Pattinson is back on; T20 one-over burst stuff from Paine in the last half-hour or so, but it doesn’t work. Blundell smacks consecutive fours through the on-side, first through midwicket, then behind square, profiting on the bowler pitching too full and then too short.

37th over: New Zealand 114-4 (Blundell 56, Watling 6) Cummins replaces Pattinson from the Members’ end and he’s immediately driven calmly through wide midwicket for three by the busy Blundell. The strike is then rotated from four of the next five deliveries.

Australia have adjusted their field, taking out third slip and placing them at short cover for Watling and second gully for Blundell. Is that an acknowledgment the pace has left this pitch once the ball ages a little?

36th over: New Zealand 107-4 (Blundell 51, Watling 4) Lyon returns after just the one over from Cummins and he almost buys a wicket when Blundell mistimes a clip to leg onto his thigh pad but the ball loops behind square and not to the man fielding under his nose.

35th over: New Zealand 106-4 (Blundell 50, Watling 4) Pattinson is bowling a top-of-off spell so far but Blundell is up to the task, clipping a couple to the on-side when the line leaks a fraction onto the batsman’s pads, and then he reaches 50 by driving a long half-volley towards point for three more. Watling completes the two-three-four stepping stone of runs by drilling a gorgeous on-drive all along the carpet and into the sightscreen.

34th over: New Zealand 97-4 (Blundell 45, Watling 0) The ball change heralds Cummins’ return to the attack in place of Lyon. After Blundell nicks a single Watling defends stoutly.

33rd over: New Zealand 96-4 (Blundell 44, Watling 0) Pattinson replaces Starc from the Members’ end and he’s immediately into a tidy line and length against Watling. Four deliveries into his over there’s a conflab about the state of the Kookaburra and Nigel la la la la Llong invites the fourth umpire onto the field to furnish his heist movie metal suitcase full of replacements. The second ball of the over dovetails with the first to deliver a maiden.

32nd over: New Zealand 96-4 (Blundell 44, Watling 0) Blundell looks like he might just have singed a brain cell or two in this fierce heat. He’s looking increasingly skittish at the crease, especially against Lyon, who moves his man across the crease like a marionette in a testing maiden.

Can someone better than me at the internet do a remix of this featuring Nigel Llong? Please and thank you.

31st over: New Zealand 96-4 (Blundell 44, Watling 0) Blundell is living dangerously. After being beaten for pace with that LBW shout he then gloves a bumper down the leg-side that is only just out of reach of the diving Paine. He earns four for his troubles though, and three more with a nice checked drive down to long-on.

NOT OUT - Nigel Llong was right, the ball pitched outside the line of leg-stump.

REVIEW! Starc reckons he has Blundell LBW, Nigel Llong doesn’t.

30th over: New Zealand 89-4 (Blundell 37, Watling 0) That partnership was getting irritating for Australia but some brilliance from Lyon and Paine has put them back on course for victory this afternoon.

Fast hands from Paine and Lyon gets some reward! #AUSvNZ | https://t.co/Q5Lvt45rWOpic.twitter.com/hB8lApMOeb

Nicholls greets Lyon’s latest over by skipping down the pitch and belting him back over his head for six! Lyon responds by dropping his pace and executing a perfect off-spinning delivery that drifts in then spins away, beating the outside edge of a forward prod. So far so normal. But Paine is alert behind the stumps and whips off the bails in a flash, catching Nicholls with his back foot on the line, not behind it. The Aussie skipper tears away like Cristiano Ronaldo in celebration long before the DRS confirms the dismissal.

29th over: New Zealand 82-3 (Blundell 37, Nicholls 26) Starc is bowling with excellent rhythm but his over largely targeting the ribcages of New Zealand’s batsmen fails to engineer a chance. Again, Nicholls hints that his aerial clip off his hip could lead to his downfall.

28th over: New Zealand 81-3 (Blundell 36, Nicholls 26) Lyon is on top of his duel with Blundell, working the batsmen over from both sides of the wicket and almost inducing a play-on. The opener holds his own though, even nudging his first run on the off-side this innings.

27th over: New Zealand 80-3 (Blundell 35, Nicholls 26) Nicholls clips Starc off his hip for two and in so doing gives square leg a sniff of a chance, but it’s well out of reach. Australia trying to outmuscle New Zealand’s no.5 midway through this fourth day. Nicholls survives though, and alongside Blundell he has posted the touring side’s longest partnership of the series (in terms of balls faced).

While Adam catches some z’s (cuddling his life-size Peter Siddle dakimakura) remember to retune your emails and tweets to the following addresses: @JPHowcroft and jonathan.howcroft.casual@theguardian.com.

Thank you very much Adam. My condolences on Peter Siddle robbing you of endless material. If you get nostalgic for the venomous vegan he has a series of instructional videos on YouTube. My favourite is the bouncer edition where he terrorises some patsy on a net wicket that should be roped off with crime scene tape.

26th over: New Zealand 77-3 (Blundell 35, Nicholls 24) The Australian fielders are talking loudly around the bat. Simon Katich, also on SEN radio, reckons they are discussing their respective Australian Rules football careers. As my OBO colleague Sam Perry rightly says, cricket is just footy in the summer these days. Lyon concedes four singles this time around, the final of those very, very close to a run out. Indeed, had Cummins hit from mid-on, Nicholls was gone by a long way. And after that moment of chaos, drinks are on the field. New Zealand have made it through the third hour without loss, which isn’t for nothing with both of these players trying to make a something of a statement before this Test is over. I’ll take this moment to hand over to JP Howcroft. Thanks for your company. Bye for now!

25th over: New Zealand 73-3 (Blundell 33, Nicholls 22)Another instance in 2019 of the stumps being hit by the ball without the bails coming off! As it happens, Starc was over the line anyway, called a no-ball as he sent it down. It found Nicholls’ inside edge, clipping the leg stump and ending up running away for a boundary with five added to the tally. He then makes it two in a row with a compact glance, beating fine leg again. A third boundary later in the over! It looked to have come off Blundell’s backside rather than his bat but it goes in the book as runs against Starc’s name. All told, 15 from the over after three maidens in a row. The final ball of the over was clocked at 152.4kph - whoa. “You’re having a laugh,” Brendon McCullum says of that reading on SEN radio. “That makes Henry Nicholls, who defended it easily off the front dog, the best player of fast bowling of all time.”

24th over: New Zealand 58-3 (Blundell 28, Nicholls 13) A silly point is brought in for Lyon to dissuade Blundell from lunging at the off-spinner. It works, the opener reverting back to playing him from the crease before using his feet the take the catchers out of range. Nice cat and mouse stuff. Three maidens on the trot.

23rd over: New Zealand 58-3 (Blundell 28, Nicholls 13) A new spell for Starc, a maiden to begin as it was with Lyon. He was well above 140kph throughout to Nicholls, who had to deal with the usual complement of short stuff in addition to a couple of probing deliveries aimed right at his stumps. He’s defending positively.

22nd over: New Zealand 58-3 (Blundell 28, Nicholls 13) Lyon immediately finds his range to Blundell, played with respect from start to end. A tidy maiden to begin.

21st over: New Zealand 58-3 (Blundell 28, Nicholls 13) Nicholls picks the right Cummins delivery to turn around the corner, beating long leg for four. Nice shot. Of course, the bouncer follows. He deals with it well. The next bumper is quicker again, ducked as soon as he saw it banged in.

The New Zealand fans are giving the Barmy Army chant a razz, which I’m all about. They have been fantastic throughout the week. The good news is that Cricket Australia are open to having them back again for Boxing Day soon.

20th over: New Zealand 54-3 (Blundell 28, Nicholls 9) Another strong lbw shout, Pattinson jagging back at Blundell and hitting him on the knee roll. Lyon at point says it is going over the top, which means he isn’t getting a review; the subsequent TV projection confirms this to be the correct call. We’re still waiting to find out from the New Zealand camp if Trent Boult will bat, by the way. I can’t imagine why he would unless there’s a realistic chance of them getting something out of it.

19th over: New Zealand 52-3 (Blundell 28, Nicholls 8) More good batting from Blundell, getting into position early to pull Cummins. There’s no real doubt how this game is going to end but there is plenty to be gained for the new opener.

Simon Katich is making some strong comments on SEN radio about the lack of tour games teams play before starting a tour in Australia, observing that it hurts the quality of the end product: the Test Matches. There was some fairly silly stuff floating around last week saying that the Black Caps should have been fine in Perth because they played England in Hamilton. That’s not quite how it works.

18th over: New Zealand 50-3 (Blundell 27, Nicholls 7) Shot! Blundell has pulled really well, this time getting on the top of the bounce off Pattinson, hammering it in front of square leg. Head, sweeping on that rope, had no chance of cutting it off. The visiting fans are happy as it brings up the New Zealand 50. Pattinson is much fuller to finish, beating the edge on the angle away from the left-hander.

17th over: New Zealand 46-3 (Blundell 23, Nicholls 7) Cummins to Nicholls now, locating his inside edge within two balls. He gets better through the over, ducking and leaving nice and early. A reminder: New Zealand’s target is (notionally) 488.

There are 17,725 people in the MCG, bringing the overall attendance to 201,477.

16th over: New Zealand 44-3 (Blundell 23, Nicholls 5) At last a productive over for New Zealand against Pattinson. For the new man Nicholls that is important as he searches for a way into his groove, pulling a couple of times through midwicket.

“I was an early-adopter of all things Siddle and I love the way he’s bowing out,” writes Robert Wilson, who I instinctively believe on this point. “I’d have been sad if it was a total retirement. It’s typical and somehow delightful that he’s going to crack on and try to get another 1st class milestone under his belt. He always reminded me of Boxer, the dray horse in Animal Farm - solid, patient, often poorly-used and impeccably herbivore. It’s in no way a diss. I once rode a dray. Size of a Sherman tank but the thing could truly move when it was in the mood, a horse that could take a hat-trick. I felt like a cork on a waterfall. Vale Siddle.”

15th over: New Zealand 39-3 (Blundell 23, Nicholls 1) Gee whiz, Blundell leaves Cummins close to his body, the ball just clearing his off-stump bail. He goes for the inswinger at the timber next up, doing enough to beat the inside edge before hooping big down the legside. You don’t see him bowl with conventional shape through the air too often - he looks pretty happy with how it came out. Maiden.

14th over: New Zealand 39-3 (Blundell 23, Nicholls 1) Blundell gets one away off his middle stump into the legside to open his account for the session. Nicholls’ turn, looking pretty organised in defence, leaving well too outside the off stump. It prompts a shift to around the wicket with one ball to go, dealt with solidly.

The players are back! That means Pattinson is back. He now has 81 Test wickets at 25 apiece, really making the most of this excellent comeback. “Imagine he takes seven or eight?” says Damien Fleming on SEN Radio of his fellow Victorian. Dare to dream. Nicholls will be taking the first ball of this middle session. PLAY!

Australia doing just as was expected. The 31 runs they added to start the day across 38 lacklustre minutes matter not at all now, Pattinson striking thrice in a hurry to set the final innings of this Test up for a very likely four-day finish.

Latham
Williamson
Taylor

James Pattinson is on fire! #AUSvNZ live: https://t.co/Q5Lvt45rWOpic.twitter.com/r36cx33xbJ

13th over: New Zealand 38-3 (Blundell 22, Nicholls 1) Nicholls is walking out on a King Pair but avoids that with a single, driven past Starc. Blundell, who picked up one around the corner earlier in the over, deals with the last couple of balls of the session, clipping a single to fine leg to finish. That’s LUNCH at the MCG, the Australians seven wickets from victory after a most productive 13 overs.

Meanwhile, what a nightmare of a tour this has been for New Zealand with the bat, and specifically the captain Williamson who has made 57 runs in four hits. He was pretty unlucky there. You don’t see many like that given out by the on-field ump.

Clipping the stumps... just! #AUSvNZ | https://t.co/Q5Lvt45rWOpic.twitter.com/aUDdBSVofK

Taylor chops on fourth ball! Nothing special about the delivery but there’s something special going on in this Pattinson spell - he has two wickets in the over and three scalps in nine balls.

12th over: New Zealand 35-3 (Blundell 20)

Umpire’s call! Pitching on off-stump, the DRS projection showed the ball JUST touching the leg stump. Because he was given out on the field, it is good enough to send the New Zealand captain packing for a duck. Disaster for the tourists. And clever captaincy from Paine, swinging Pattinson around to follow Cummins.

HAS PATTINSON TRAPPED WILLIAMSON LBW? He’s given out on the field, the New Zealand captain taking his time before sending it upstairs. Stand by!

11th over: New Zealand 33-1 (Blundell 20, Williamson 0) Starc is straight back after Pattinson’s one, successful over. They must want him to have a crack at Williamson before the main man is set? Or changing ends? If the former, it doesn’t here, Blundell taking charge of the whole over. After prodding unsuccessfully at the first ball, he builds in confidence by the end - defending solidly; calling loudly.

Go well Peter Siddle. Beyond big wickets at big moments, and his obvious dedication, he made those around him better w/ partnership bowling and constant, nagging pressure. 221 Test wickets deserves respect. You don’t have to be a great to achieve something great.

10th over: New Zealand 33-1 (Blundell 20, Williamson 0) That’s rapid from Cummins to Williamson, flinging an accurate bouncer at his lid, the New Zealand captain swaying inside the line of it. No inch given throughout the over.

9th over: New Zealand 32-1 (Blundell 19, Williamson 0) The Kiwi crowd are giving the skipper Williamson a huge ovation as he walks out with two balls to go in the successful Pattinson over. Before Latham fell, they had another reason to cheer when Blundell clipped him through midwicket for three. The big quick is right on the button to New Zealand megastar, defending both into the off side.

It is Pattinson to replace Starc and he’s into the book with his fourth ball! It was a delivery Latham didn’t need to play at - wide and full. It’s edged through to Paine, who completes a tidy catch diving with two hands low to his left.

8th over: New Zealand 29-0 (Latham 8, Blundell 16) Cummins slips a quick delivery past Blundell’s inside edge to begin, whacking him on the back pad. He’s got a good temperament though, taking the next ball from the same angle into the legside for a single. Latham’s turn now and he plays the shot of the morning, a glorious on-drive that races to the rope. The New Zealand fans love it. “This wicket is FLAT,” declares the hopeful McCullum. The southpaw takes two more past square leg from the next before leaving the final offering. Seven from it. Nice.

7th over: New Zealand 22-0 (Latham 2, Blundell 15) Starc misses his line at Latham, a deflection off his backside running down to the fine leg rope. He’s engaging the opener with a false stroke from the last delivery though, playing at an outswinger well outside the off-stump, his outside edge well beaten. Even so, I reckon it might be time for James Pattinson next up from the MCC End.

Brendon McCullum has taken it a fraction further now on SEN radio, saying they’ll win with Blundell making 120 and Williamson an unbeaten 240. That’d be fun!

6th over: New Zealand 18-0 (Latham 2, Blundell 15) Cummins is slamming it in at Blundell, forcing him to use his bat early in the over before beating both edges by the time his maiden is complete. He’s in the form of his life.

5th over: New Zealand 18-0 (Latham 2, Blundell 15) More good batting from Blundell, waiting for a straighter Starc ball to take a single. Latham is less at ease, copping a nasty blow on the arm when trying to get out of the way from a bumper. Looked to hit him on the elbow - they cross for a leg bye. Blundell goes again through square leg, timing it out to the rope, denied a third boundary from some sharp tandem fielding on the rope by the Australians. He’s 15 from 19. “This wicket is getting better and better,” says Brendon McCullum on SEN. He thinks they will be two down overnight and will draw it tomorrow. “You have to think like that.”

4th over: New Zealand 13-0 (Latham 2, Blundell 11) Cummins v Latham was an excellent contest yesterday and looks it again already here, this maiden from around the wicket forcing the opener to use his bat in response to every delivery.

3rd over: New Zealand 13-0 (Latham 2, Blundell 11) Latham misses a clip down the legside early in the over but the Australians are up for caught behind - that’s definitely not out - but he does get off strike with one behind square from the next ball. Blundell deals with the rest quite comfortably. He looks up for this.

2nd over: New Zealand 12-0 (Latham 1, Blundell 11) Cummins is right on it to Blundell and up go the Australians for a second big shout! It’s angled in nicely to beat the inside edge but it is too high to seriously consider a review. The opener keeps his cool after the appeal, responding with a punishing pull shot through midwicket for his second boundary. Have that, Pat! A fun start to this innings.

“Now that he’s announced his retirement, I feel kinda bad that I’ve been moaning to anyone who’d listen since before the last Ashes that the selectors needed to put Sidds out to pasture,” acknowledges John Phaceas. “Great servant, team man, and metronomic bowler over many years. Well done Peter Siddle, you have served Australia valiantly. But let’s be honest, you can’t truly be a red-blooded, helmet-cracking, Aussie nasty fastie if you’re a 30-bananas a day vegan.”

1st over: New Zealand 8-0 (Latham 1, Blundell 7) Nice start from Latham, taking one to cover first ball but hey’re all up for lbw two deliveries later, Blundell struck on the knee roll with a ball that shapes back beautifully over the wicket. NOT OUT on the field says Nigel Llong; no referral. But... it was hitting leg stump! It would have been overturned. The opener makes the most of his let off, clipping a full ball for four past square leg. “It’s not going over,” Starc tells his colleagues in the cordon after learning about the projection on the big screen. Blundell finishes the over with three more in the same direction, out to deep square leg. There are still a lot of Kiwi fans in the MCG and they give the new opener a big ovation.

One of the good guys @petersiddle403 .. Fantastic international career comes to an end .. Must be a captains dream .. Just give him a banana and he runs in all day for the team ..

The players are back on the field. Blundell and Latham have the job ahead of them for the Black Caps. Starc will start Australia off from the Members End. PLAY!

Siddle is going to continue with Essex and Victoria. We’ll learn more at the lunch break when he holds a press conference, but he said in an interview with the Herald-Sun that he’s striving for 700 First Class wickets. He currently has 603.

In 38 minutes this morning Australia added 31 runs. That’s all I’ve got. In case you were wondering, New Zealand must survive 168 overs (I think) to save the Test.

New Zealand’s target is 488.

He’s bowled Head around his legs! Three for Wagner. All have been well earned.

54th over: Australia 168-4 (Wade 30, Head 28) You guessed it: three more singles. But, BUT... Tim Paine is taking his pads off upstairs. Or at least it appears that way.

An interview Andy Bull did with Pete Siddle in 2015 is worth another look today.

Related: Meet Peter Siddle – the shih-tzu-stroking, penguin-loving Aussie hardman

53rd over: Australia 165-4 (Wade 29, Head 26) Not a lot going on here, is there? Three singles off Wagner. Paine is padded up in the sheds, the vision shows, suggesting that this innings might have a bit of time to run yet. I haven’t got the TV commentary on but I can only imagine Shane Warne’s delight.

Thrilling stuff from Australia this morning. Starting the day with a precarious lead of 456 with only six wickets in hand, they’ve showed commendable enterprise in smashing 28 runs from just 8 overs in the first half an hour.

52nd over: Australia 162-4 (Wade 28, Head 24) Southee is pulled by Wade for one then deflected by Head for another. The veteran is not going to give them the chance to really unleash here, his line and length disciplined to the last. As they note on SEN radio, Wade is chatting to the New Zealand players between overs. I can only imagine the sort of advice he is offering them.

51st over: Australia 160-4 (Wade 27, Head 23) Wagner keeps giving it his all, wanging it in halfway down time and again. There’s a flurry of activity when Head inside edges, called through for a quick single. The declaration feels pretty close.

50th over: Australia 157-4 (Wade 25, Head 22) Singles to both along the carpet early in the over, Head then going once again towards third man later in the set, landing just in front Matt Henry - on as Boult’s subsitute fielder. Wade keeps the strike with a single pulled out to deep backward square to finish.

Some words from Justin Langer and the Australian camp on Peter Siddle.

Cricket Australia has congratulated Peter Siddle on an outstanding Australian career after the veteran fast bowler announced on Sunday he was retiring from international cricket, effective immediately.

Siddle, 35, took 221 wickets from 67 Test matches including eight five-wicket hauls. He is the 13th highest Test wicket-taker among all Australian bowlers and will be forever remembered for the hat-trick he claimed on his birthday against England at the ‘Gabba in 2010.

49th over: Australia 153-4 (Wade 23, Head 20) More of the same, Wagner banging it in at Wade who does what he needs to do keep the board moving. Head is happy to get out of the way of a bumper trained on his helmet before slicing another ball over the cordon, albeit without a lot of power. There’s no fielder there, though.

One that might go under the radar because of what happened later in the match: Siddle's first Boxing Day Test in 2008. I'll always remember the way the MCG responded to him going through South Africa's top order and how he reacted to that love. Such a wonderful fella. https://t.co/WqlYQQzj1U

48th over: Australia 151-4 (Wade 22, Head 19) Southee to Wade now, who takes a couple into the off side early in the over. He’s beaten later with one that bounces a bit more, prompting a sledge from the bowler: “you’re playing for a tennis ball on a concrete pitch.” Something like that. The hosts get the last laugh from the final ball, Head successfully reaching a very wide T20-esque delivery, getting enough on it to go over about fourth slip for four runs. That lead is now 470 runs.

47th over: Australia 144-4 (Wade 19, Head 15) Wagner to Wade, a contest that has had meaning every time they have been pitted against each other in this series. He takes on the first accurate bouncer that comes his way, pulling a couple.

46th over: Australia 141-4 (Wade 16, Head 15) Head gets the first run of the morning, unfurling a cover drive into a gap, Wade then getting his day underway with a quick single into the offside. There’s no mucking around here, Head slashing hard at the last delivery, over point for a couple. The lead is 460.

Right, to the middle. The players are on the field. How long will they bat? Pat Cummins hinted on SEN radio that it might be about an hour. Trent Boult won’t be involved today for what time that is left as it was confirmed overnight he broke his right hand when batting yesterday. A massive blow for the tourists. Tim Southee, his long-term partner in crime, has the ball in his hand from the MCC End. Travis Head is on strike, resuming on 12 after his first-innings ton yesterday. PLAY!

My most enduring memory of Peter Siddle will always be him in absolute bits after bowling himself into the ground at Adelaide Oval in 2012 trying in vain to roll South Africa. A legend with a heart the size of the Ponsford Stand, what an asset he’s been to Australian cricket. https://t.co/TN2Flws4OJ

Peter Siddle Day is coming in 2020, by the way. Ten years on from his birthday hat-trick, on The Final Word pod we’re lobbying the government to formalise it.

"PETER SIDDLE'S GOT A HAT-TRICK ON HIS BIRTHDAY!" https://t.co/jRZ3Ztjxcl

And his first Test wicket. A bloke called Tendulkar - you might have heard of him.

“Can we celebrate Peter Siddle please?” asks Ruth Purdue. We can and we must. “For me the consistency of that man was great.” Too right.

I’ll go first. In the summer of 1999-2000, playing rep cricket against Sidds, we had three runs to get in the final over with three wickets in hand and he was the man with the ball. Sure enough, he took three wickets in five balls to win it by a run.

We have just received word from the Australian camp that Peter Siddle has called time on his 12-year international career. What a gem of a bowler he has been.

Peter Siddle has retired from international cricket, effective immediately. The end of a fantastic Australian career, claiming 221 wickets in 67 Test Matches across 12 years. And one birthday hat-trick. #AUSvNZpic.twitter.com/WOL1HxTwP7

The inescapable truth is that most Test Matches reach a stage like this, where one side has dominated to such an extent that the final result appears certain even though many columns in the scorebook are yet to be filled. Third innings declaration runs, typically acquired on the fourth day, are part of this rhythm. There’s no spinning the fact that this is where we are, with Australia preparing to resume this morning already some 456 runs ahead in their second innings.

But let’s look at this another way. Isn’t a big part of the reason why we as lovers of our game tell anyone who’ll listen Test Match cricket is the greatest sport of all due to the elation we get when all four results are possible late on day five? Of course it is. But if that was the case in every Test, would those special moments be so memorable? Don’t we need the drab days make the Headingley Miracle - or any number like it over the last 142 years - so much more meaningful when the come?

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South Africa beat England by 107 runs to take 1-0 series lead – as it happened

December 29, 2019, 5:28 am
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So farewell 2019, a never-uneventful year for cricket in general and English cricket in particular. Even by this country’s quirky standards, some memorable heights have been hit and some 90s-esque depths have been hinted at. And South Africa thoroughly deserve to take a series lead to Cape Town; they bowled with more discipline and better plans, they seized what opportunities they had with the bat in conditions that weren’t always easy, and generally did stuff that England failed to do. The first-innings batting was sloppy, and even after a better effort second time around, there was little sense that they’d be able to dig in for an improbable win. The toss choice and team choice still suggest a lack of conviction in strategy and personnel. Both teams are in kind-of new eras though, all of which makes the rest of this series intriguing.

And with that, and Vic Marks’s match report below, I’ll wish you the happiest of new years on behalf of all of us in OBO Towers. Thanks for your emails and company. Bye.

Related: South Africa win first Test by 107 runs after new ball leads to England collapse

Some thoughts from Chris Silverwood: “It was a difficult challenge, we did have high hopes, we didn’t score many runs. The openers gave us a chance – I know Dom [Sibley] was disappointed to get out on 29 and he was part and parcel of that partnership that had us here today with a hope of winning.

“When we got here the wicket was a bit damp and it did something most of the day, and we thought day two and three would be the best days to bat, and day three was.” On Test selections for Cape Town: “We’ve got to see how Leach recovers [from illness], we’ve got Parky [Matt Parkinson] here, Bess here, we have some good spinners here so we’ll see.

Joe Root speaks:“It’s been a really tough week off the field – 10 guys going down ill, but credit to everyone; they’ve stood up, and tried to put in the best performance possible. It’s not been long since we’ve seen similar chases from a similar group of players. We were in a good position at lunch with me and Ben there, and needed to negotiate new ball afterwards. But the game was won and lost with the seven for 39 collapse in the first innings, though good to bounce back and bat better in the second innings.

“The toss was a 50-50 call, you get a side 111-5 and you think you’ve got ahead of the game, but credit to them, they played very well. Archer is a huge talent, still at the start of his Test career, and responded well after a difficult tour of New Zealand, where he had a lot thrown at him.

Some feedback, inevitably; some Bairstow and Foakes chat, inevitably: Maybe we should look at the England wicketkeeper issue like a school exam multipule choice question,” writes Dan Hunt. “Pick one of the following three to bat at No 7 for England in a Test series. Your selection will also keep wicket for the side: A) An experienced professional with a test career of two halves. His early appearances were successful and productive. His later performances offered diminishing returns as the inadvertent price of becoming the world’s best ODI opener.B) An experienced white ball cricketer with a level head on his shoulders and the ability to regular transform limited overs games. His red ball record is minimal but has shown some glimpses of the destructive prowess he so regularly shows in other formats.C) A first class regular although a few years younger than the other other two choices. Widely acknowledged as the best wicketkeeper in England his batting, he has, on his limited international appearances so far has tended to over deliver against expectations. Seems to me like we should be moving on to option C....”

Who’ll be man of the match then? De Kock for his catches and decisive first-innings rescue act? Rabada for his seven wickets? Philander for his metronomic precision? Nortje and Petersen also played key roles in what was a fine all-round team effort. England, meanwhile, end 2019 having won only four Tests, one of which was a dead rubber, another being an almost-dead one, and one of the others being one of the greatest things that has ever happened in any sporting arena ever. Typical England.

The South African players are high-fiving each other gleefully here, and why not: this win brings some much-needed feelgood glow to South African cricket after a pretty horrendous 2019, on and off the pitch. Graeme Smith, Mark Boucher and co might contribute to that, after a fine first Test overseeing things. And they’ve been on top of England ever since that second-afternoon collapse. It was a poor decision to bowl first, but their lack of all-round longevity as a Test batting unit makes them hard to rely on whatever the circumstances.

93rd over: England 268 (Anderson 0), target 376 Buttler has only one option now – hit, and hit hard, which he does to spectacular effect off the first ball of Rabada’s over, belting it high over long-on and into the grass banks for SIX, but it doesn’t last because he’s caught in the deep next ball. Broad hoiks the next, shortish ball for two to get off the mark, and promptly inside-edges for another couple. England aren’t going to die wondering anyway, as Broad then spoons up another chance that just eludes a diving Maharaj on the offside, before he’s clean bowled to clean up the match

Buttler has decided an attacking frenzy is the only route to a miracle, and clouts the first ball of Rabada’s over for six, but perishes trying the same thing next ball, skying up in the air for Pretorius to take a steepler at long-on.

92nd over: England 256-8 (Buttler 16, Broad 0), target 376 Archer expresses his confidence in Archer by running a single off the first ball of Nortje’s over. But it’s not repaid as the No 9 is done for pace and can only edge to slip. Nortje has three wickets, and deservedly so – his introduction has turned this game decisively in South Africa’s direction, though it was inching that way in any case. Four wickets with the new ball have removed all doubt.

Archer flicks a too-quick delivery to first slip, where Van der Dussen this time takes the catch.

91st over: England 255-7 Buttler 15, Archer 4), target 376 Curran offers a hint of what he and Buttler’s victory strategy would have been if he hadn’t edged behind a delivery after slashing Rabada over backward point for four off the first ball of the over. Archer, much-maligned as a batsman and by some even as a bowler of late, is off the mark with a four first ball. So have that.

Curran is done like a kipper by one that’s slanted across then straightens, takes his edge, and that’s him gone. Along with the game.

90th over: England 247-6 Buttler 15, Curran 5), target 376 Because he’s the sort of cricketer he is, Sam Curran flays and edges Nortje – and it flashes through the third slip area for four. Buttler then ups the ante and plays the second classy off-drive for four of his innings, though he’s then almost caught at short leg next ball but the fielder can’t quite scramble there in time. No matter, because the next ball is casually swung for SIX – in the way only Buttler can – over the square leg boundary.

89th over: England 232-6 Buttler 5, Curran 0), target 376 Buttler flicks at a wide one from Rabada down leg – it brushes his pads but a diving De Kock can only parry it. He’s then bothered by one that jags right back into his left thigh, off both seam and pitch-crack. England aren’t going to survive this.

Has any cricketer been discussed in a match he’s not playing in more than Ben Foakes has here? Here’s some more on that subject from Neil Brock:

88th over: England 232-6 Buttler 5, Curran 0), target 376 Nortje replaces Philander, and Du Plessis’ bowling change is swiftly vindicated by Root’s dismissal, his one slightly loose shot of the session, his footwork static, though it was just the sort of ball that tempts even the finest of batsmen. Nortje comes round the wicket at the new man in, the left-handed Curran, making him play and completing a wicket maiden.

“As a dyed in the wool tyke,” writes Nick Smith (is there any other type?), “I feel obliged to defend YJB somewhat - during his and Buttler’s 100-odd tests, how often have they come in after the openers have yet again failed?” Yeah, like I said, the whole Test strategy and team has been confused.

Nortje comes on and strikes second ball of his spell, just as Rabada did a few overs back, and it’s a big one, a perfectly pitched out-nibbler in the corridor that the England captain edges behind. That should be South Africa’s Test now.

87th over: England 232-5 (Root 48, Buttler 5), target 376 Root cuts loose, literally, top-handing past backward point for four, again benefiting from playing late. He’s able to flick a single to leg too as batting begins to look a little easier. If these two can get to tea unscathed then … nah, forget it, I’m not going there. In a random development, a couple of England fans appear to be singing Sheffield United’s “greasy chip butty” song

86th over: England 227-5 (Root 43, Buttler 5), target 376 A short extra-cover is brought in for Buttler, but he’s able to see out the over, judiciously leaving well at this point, and Philander’s swing too easy to pick to be tempted by. And it’s rounded off with a sumptuous, coaching-manual cover drive for four.

85th over: England 223-5 (Root 43, Buttler 1), target 376 Some more variable bounce from Rabada, including the first proper bouncer with the new ball, which Root gets under comfortably enough. He’s doing the right things here, the England captain, seeing the ball late onto the bat, and judging his lines and lengths well, until the last ball of the over, which zips past him at pace and low bounce and is too close for him to cut. Rabada the better of the two opening bowlers at this point.

84th over: England 223-5 (Root 43, Buttler 1), target 376 Philander doesn’t make Buttler play enough in this over, granting the batsman some handy leaving practice. Another maiden.

@tomdaviesE17 - Bairstow and Buttler have more than 100 test caps between them. At what point does potential turn into perennial failures

83rd over: England 223-5 (Root 43, Buttler 1), target 376 Rabada is discomforting England here, though Buttler manages to squeeze a single to get himself off the mark. Root, at least, is batting sensibly though, getting himself out of the way of the trickiest stuff.

The Bairstow chat begins: “I count myself a huge admirer of Jonny,” enumerates Tim Sanders, “and I thought it was a fair call to drop him for Tests with the requirement to rediscover his technique for first-class cricket. What then seemed daft was to recall him as soon as someone else got ill or injured. If the judgement is that he has work to do, then how does another player’s fitness change that?” He’s certainly now at that stage of his Test career where every failure will be considered damning rather than an aberration. He’s not looked Test-standard here, certainly.

82nd over: England 222-5 (Root 43, Buttler 0), target 376 Philander returns from the Pavilion End. He’s into that perfect offside-corridor groove straight away, and has Root driving and missing with a teasing away swinger. This could be a hell of a contest. A maiden.

81st over: England 222-5 (Root 43, Buttler 0), target 376 Rabada takes the new ball and his first delivery is overpitched, and Bairstow cashes in joyously, flicking through midwicket for four. But the joy doesn’t last, and YJB goes next ball– he has failed again, and at a pivotal time. Buttler is well beaten with an excellent couple of inswingers first up. This is a massive innings for him too, now, and he’s had a proper working over already with his first four deliveries faced.

Given how England fell away at five down in the first innings, South Africa are emphatic favourites now.

Rabada strikes with the second ball with the new nut! Bairstow had clipped the first for four but then edges a tempting wide away-swinger to third slip, where Hamza takes a good sharp catch on the rise.

80th over: England 218-4 (Root 43, Bairstow 5), target 376 Pretorius doesn’t look particularly threatening at this point, and Root flicks him away for two towards square leg, before Root is well beaten and struck on the pad with the final ball with the old ball, but it’s outside the line, and Du Plessis declines the review. There’s no inside edge either, invalidating gully’s attempt to claim the catch, which bounced just before him in any case. Now is the decisive time. New ball up next.

79th over: England 216-4 (Root 41, Bairstow 5), target 376 Root eases Maharaj away for a single at the start of the spinner’s final over before the new ball is due. He has a silly point in for Bairstow, who is necessarily watchful against some accurate bowling, however much his instincts might want him to clout him over the top.

78th over: England 215-4 (Root 40, Bairstow 5), target 376 Bairstow gets to face the seamers for the first time, coping comfortably with what Pretorius has to offer but without scoring.

Some South Africa team news: Aiden Markram’s self-inflicted hand injury (how many more times must cricketers be told that a man can’t win a fight with a locker) means the uncapped Keegan Petersen has been called into their squad for the second Test.

77th over: England 215-4 (Root 40, Bairstow 5), target 376 Another so-so over from Maharaj brings two singles. Meanwhile Abhijato Sensarma has a seasonal rhyme for us, which may or may not jinx things, depending on your affiliations:

No jokes, Ben Stokes was the biggest of England’s hopes

The spinner has tried to be the dream killer and make them hang onto their last ropes

76th over: England 213-4 (Root 39, Bairstow 4), target 376 Pretorius comes on for Nortje, but can’t find the same venom as his predecessor from that end, though he does have a shout for lbw against Root, shuffling across his stump, but it still looks to be going down leg, and too high, and the umpires are rightly haveing none of it.

75th over: England 212-4 (Root 39, Bairstow 4), target 376 Bairstow is gifted another Maharaj loosener from which to get off the mark, and the cut is emphatic and bound for the ropes. An easy four. There’s plenty in the pitch for the spinner, as you’d expect at this stage of the game, but he’s not quite found the control needed. Yet he’s still changed the mood with a key wicket, and deserves to continue until the new ball.

74th over: England 208-4 (Root 39, Bairstow 0), target 376 South Africa’s dander is suddenly up, and Root’s mood is scarcely improved by, first, a grubber that he can get nowhere near from Nortje; second, another that spits off the surface and straight into his sensitive regions, and third a more orthodox away-swinger that beats him all ends up. But he survives them, and then flicks a stray ball down legside backward of square which beats the man on the boundary to bring four more. A tremendous over of Test match cricket, that.

73rd over: England 204-4 (Root 35, Bairstow 0), target 376 I’d just typed that Maharaj isn’t on top of things at all yet, after another short and loose one was worked away easily by Root for a single, before he only goes and bowls Stokes with one that turns in sharply at the left-hander. That’ll learn me for banging on about Headingley and Perera. So now, let the YJB arguments begin! Which is what we’re all here for after all.

Maharaj brings one back into Stokes, who drags it onto his stumps. That came from nowhere.

72nd over: England 203-3 (Root 34, Stokes 14), target 376 Just as England may be buoyed by talk of Headingley as they go after this large target, you wonder if South Africa are haunted by their own fourth-innings nightmare this year, at the hands of Kusal Perera. Stokes flicks Nortje away for a well-run two and sees out the rest of the over comfortably enough.

71st over: England 201-3 (Root 34, Stokes 12), target 376 Philander is dragged from that end, and replaced by Maharaj as Du Plessis seeks some spin magic with the old ball. Stokes is after him from the off though, sweeping his first ball to the square leg boundary for four and clouting the fourth through the covers for another boundary. The first real sign of cutting loose from the newly gonged all-rounder. Root rounds off a highly productive over with an effortless cut for four more to take England past 200. England need “only” 175 more now.

70th over: England 188-3 (Root 30, Stokes 4), target 376 Nortje continues to get some brutish bounce from the pitch, rapping Root in the wrist with a short one speared down the onside. A fuller delivery enables the captain to add two runs, followed by a classy flick through midwicket for four. Dare I say it, but this has been an encouraging start to the afternoon for England.

69th over: England 182-3 (Root 24, Stokes 4), target 376 The magic mallet comes out again to bang down a divot by the crease at the bowler’s end, before Philander’s first ball – a real loosener, short and wide – is cut emphatically for four by Root, who scampers a single next ball. Philander is not looking so menacing from this end.

“I’ve read every BTL comment on every cricket article since about 2005, and it hasn’t done me any harm,” writes James Debens, from behind a 14-year-old pile of washing up and pizza boxes, before ruining my gag with a pay-off of his own. “In fact, the wondrous insights, perspicacity and clear thinking of the BTL community have helped the years fly by, here at Rampton.”

68th over: England 177-3 (Root 19, Stokes 4), target 376 The impressive Nortje returns from the Pavilion End. Root glides a shortish ball elegantly down to third man for a single – he’s looking Ok for a sick bloke – before Nortje torments Stokes from round the wicket again, ripping an absolute zinger away from his outside edge. This is going to be a tricky challenge for Stokes.

67th over: England 176-3 (Root 18, Stokes 4), target 376 The excellent Philander starts off the session, but from the opposite end to that from which he operated this morning. He relishes bowling at Root, though he’ll need a breather before the second new ball. He concedes a four though, Root timing an on-drive exquisitely past mid-on. There’s a bit of uneven bounce again, though I thought this pitch would be much more unplayable by now at the end of day two.

Before we return to the action, one more sage suggestion from Adrian Goldman: “I suggest Pasta-pesto with a salad. Dead simple, avoids all the hated food groups and - if you make your own pesto - you can add enough garlic to make sure that people leave soon after lunch. Problem sorted.
Adrian
(I am contributing content so moving the dial…)”

Personally, I would say the internet contains more content than consumption. Has anyone who has ever contributed to a 1,578-comment long debate actually read the previous 1,577 for example? Face it, people – we’re all howling into the void.

Mike Waters has some more serious cricketing thoughts to offer:

hi Rob, I have had the mixed fortune to be able to watch every ball from my recliner and also have empathy with the virus stricken by catching what may be the same affliction being suffered by the sqaud.

Having had to drag myself into work for Christmas day to cover a preareanged shift, fortunately spent mainly alone in an office, I have to commend anyone who has even managed to put whites on, never mind be involved on 90mph bowling in any capacity while fighting the most debiliating bug I can recall in my life.

Some lunchtime emails: “I thought I should come in peace before the (not so) YJB arrives at the crease and risks dividing us again,” says Brian Withington. “Think your Pareto-like odds assessment of 80:20 SA:Eng was fair at the off, but I wonder whether the fall of wickets and the recent balls to Root might have us heading towards the 89:10:1 (SA:Eng:tie) ratio which apparently is the internet lurkers principle - 89% just consume, 9% edit and only 1% actively create new content. Makes you wonder how this applies to OBO community?” As many as nine per cent edit?! Can’t say as I’ve noticed that being a particular feature of the interweb.

Meanwhile, Kim Thonger has a familiar culinary dilemma: “We have family arriving for lunch and I’m cooking risotto to break the culinary monotony of the last week. However in attendance are one vegetarian daughter, another daughter who hates mushrooms, an aunt who is allergic to prawns and two grandchildren who are appalled by rice. I can now empathise with the England selectors whose intractable problems appear to be of a similar size. We may scrap the risotto entirely and just have afters, a solution akin to cancelling all red ball cricket and focusing on The Hundred.” Nice analogy. The Hundred really is the butterscotch Angel Delight of cricketing competitions. Anyway, can’t mushroom-averse daughters usually be placated with fish fingers, and beans? They can when they’re younger anyhow.

Thanks Rob, and morning/afternoon everyone. So England need 205 in five sessions, and my inner Fred Boycott would love to see them drag this chase deep into the final day and give tomorrow’s OBOers some serious work to do. And given the sluggish rate England were forced to inch along at this morning, thanks to some excellent South African bowling, this all could still happen. Or England could be all out for 208 by half-eleven. Anyway, all to play for

Lunchtime reading

Related: The alternative 2019 sports awards: quotes, gaffes and animal cameos

66th over: England 171-3 (Root 13, Stokes 4) Root repels Rabada’s final over before lunch without alarm. It’s been South Africa’s morning, with England scoring 50 from 25 overs for the loss of the two overnight batsmen. England need another 205 runs for a record-breaking victory. South Africa have a new ball available in 14 overs’ time, and I suspect that will be decisive.

Tom Davies will be with you for the afternoon session - you can email him here. I’ll see you after tea, unless England fall over in a heap.

65th over: England 170-3 (Root 12, Stokes 4) Keshav Maharaj comes into the attack. That’s a good move from Faf du Plessis, just to tempt Stokes into bringing out the long handle. He slog-swept Maharaj for consecutive sixes in the first innings, and hit him for four in six balls at the Oval in 2017. This time, with the ball spitting out of rough and lunch only a few minutes away, he treats him with caution.

64th over: England 169-3 (Root 11, Stokes 4) Rabada replaces Nortje, with just over 10 minutes remaining before lunch. Stokes checks a drive back towards Rabada, who can’t quite change direction in his follow-through to take the catch. The ball dipped as well, so it was probably a one-in-20 chance. England need the lunch break. If they lose another wicket now, it’s done.

“I don’t want to send in relentlessly negative missives, Rob, but it’s tiring supporting England when you’re witnessing a near constant rearguard,” says Guy Hornsby. “Back when we were Flowering teams slowly into the dust, we had a great top five, but you also knew we could dig in, especially with Prior and Collingwood having the ability to stick at the crease. I’m just not sure where their equivalent is here. Buttler becalmed just doesn’t work out, and for all his talent Curran is a counterpuncher, who you’d never expect a gritty 120 from 270 balls. The tail also feels longish. Root and Stokes must wonder where that team’s legacy went. But when you’re struggling for wins, as we are now, it’s much harder to pick players and let them fail before they come good. Burns’ success should be a reason to keep Sibley, because also, if not him, then who?”

63rd over: England 168-3 (Root 10, Stokes 4) Stokes is beaten, flirting outside off stump at Pretorius. South Africa have been really impressive this morning. They have kept their nerve and their discipline, which in turn has allowed them keep control. England have scored 47 runs in 22 overs today, and 12 of those came from two Denly pull strokes.

62nd over: England 168-3 (Root 10, Stokes 4) Root gloves another malevolent delivery from Nortje round the corner, runs through for a single without his bat and then calls for treatment.He seems okay. When play resumes, Stokes edges short of du Plessis at second slip.

“Given the condition of the pitch, why would you choose to bowl first?” says Dan Ebanks. “I know hindsight is 20:20, but is this another example of a captain trying too hard?”

61st over: England 166-3 (Root 9, Stokes 3)

60th over: England 164-3 (Root 9, Stokes 1) Stokes gets off the mark from his 12th delivery, working Nortje into the leg side for a single. Then a short ball flies away for four byes. Every little helps, especially when you’re chasing 376.

59th over: England 158-3 (Root 8, Stokes 0) A maiden from Pretorius to the hitherto strokeless Stokes.

58th over: England 158-3 (Root 8, Stokes 0) Root inside-edges Nortje just wide of leg stump. England cannot afford to lose another wicket before lunch. Root is then smashed on the bottom hand by a nasty delivery. The uneven bounce is now happening off the straight, which is great news for South Africa.

57th over: England 158-3 (Root 8, Stokes 0) That was another impressive little innings from Denly, though he’ll be frustrated by the way he got out. South Africa are in an excellent position now. They have bowled superbly this morning.

That’s out! Denly whips around a straight one from Pretorius and is given out LBW. The non-striker Root encourages Denly to review, but replays show it’s umpire’s call and that’s good enough for South Africa.

56th over: England 158-2 (Denly 31, Root 8) A crap delivery from Nortje is cut through the covers for four by Root.

Meanwhile, this is great, and includes plenty of cricket.

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55th over: England 153-2 (Denly 31, Root 4) Dwaine Pretorius comes on to replace Kagiso Rabada, and Denly pulls his fourth ball disdainfully through midwicket for four. He’s such an elegant puller and hooker, which is one of the reasons he has been able to make runs against such quality pace attacks in the last year. He’s the Pretty Boy Who Went to War!

Pretorius responds by getting one to spit from a length and rap Denly on the glove. Though he is the fourth seamer in this team, his height and tight line could make him a real threat on this uneven pitch.

54th over: England 149-2 (Denly 27, Root 4) Nortje has been really impressive in this game. He’s not just a big, strapping fast bowler, as he showed with that smart spell around the wicket to the left-handers in the first innings. At the moment he has Root in his sights and is pounding a length just outside off stump. Root seems okay physically, though it’s hard to be sure when you’re 8,871 miles away. He gets off the mark with a familiar steer between slip and gully for four. Risk, meet reward.

That’s drinks.

53rd over: England 145-2 (Denly 27, Root 0) Denly hooks Rabada for his second six of the morning. It was a strange incident, because Nortje at deep backward square lost sight of the ball and started to cower as his team-mates screamed at him. I don’t think it made any difference, though, as the ball sailed into the crowd. Denly continues to impress both in attack and defence; he has 27 from 70 balls.

“I rate the chances an England victory as 20 times more likely to happen than Ben Foakes being called up as cover as ‘our boys’ continue to turn into human Catherine wheels,” says James Debens. “So, about 1 in 100.”

52nd over: England 139-2 (Denly 21, Root 0) Joe Root, the new batsman, survives a pretty big LBW appeal first ball. I say pretty big: Nortje was interested, the cordon less so. It looked too high and Faf du Plessis declined a review. He is beaten later in the over by another one that keeps low. So far, happily for England, all the uneven bounce has been wide of off stump. But I suspect at least one batsman will receive a stump-busting grubber at some stage.

Well that escalated quickly. Rory Burns, having played perfectly for 45 minutes, has suddenly given his wicket away. He tried to hook the new bowler Anrich Nortje, but it was too wide for him to control the shot and he top-edged it straight to Rabada at mid-on. That’s a big wicket for South Africa. Burns, fuming with himself, started to walk long before the ball reached Rabada. A split-second misjudgement has cost him his wicket.

51st over: England 139-1 (Burns 84, Denly 21) This has been a fine start from England, with both batsmen showing excellent don’t say game management, Smyth, please don’t say game management, this isn’t a wildlife reserve awareness of the match situation. And it’s South Africa’s bowlers who have blinked first. Rabada twice goes too straight to Burns, who puts him away for two and three runs respectively.

“Hitting a six in a Test match?” sniffs Ian Copestake. “What the heck is this Denly man playing at. He can park that shot along with his bloody ego. Upstart.”

50th over: England 134-1 (Burns 79, Denly 21) Philander continues to test Burns’ patience and judgement outside off stump. Eventually he goes a bit too straight and is worked off the pads for a single. That’s Burns’ first run off 30 deliveries from Philander this morning.

“But did you notice Rob that he actually also started banging the pitch as much as six inches in front of the crease?” says Steve D. “Sneaky I think.”

49th over: England 133-1 (Burns 78, Denly 21) Another unpleasant lifter from Rabada to Denly is well saved by de Kock. Rabada goes a bit straighter, in the hope for something similar, but the bounce is even and Denly works a single off the pads.

That’s the first rotation of strike this morning - and almost the end of Burns. He overbalanced as he turned Rabada to backward short leg, where the substitute Rudi Second reacted brilliantly to grab the ball on the bounce and fling it at the stumps. It missed by a whisker with Burns out of his ground.

48th over: England 131-1 (Burns 77, Denly 20) Burns hasn’t scored a run this morning, mainly because he has been stuck at Philander’s end. It’s an intriguing game of patience between the two: four overs, four maidens.

47th over: England 131-1 (Burns 77, Denly 20) Madon, what a shot from Joe Denly! Rabada’s first ball was a fraction short, and Denly launched into a majestic swivel-pull for six. Ricky Ponting could hardly have played that better. Rabada’s next ball lifts grotesquely outside off stump, with de Kock leaping to save four byes. That uneven bounce is a concern for lovers of England miracles.

“I cannot believe that what has just happened is legal!” says Steve D. “A man came on with a hammer and proceeded to smash to pitch around and in front of the crease line!! Does that not constitute changing the pitch conditions?”

46th over: England 125-1 (Burns 77, Denly 14) Philander continues to Burns. Drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip: a maiden. This is excellent stuff from South Africa, though England’s batsmen have so far played with the requisite patience. As Mike Atherton says on Sky, they just have to “suck it up” for a while.

“I just noticed that there are two little white lines a few metres up the edge of the track from the crease,” says Garry Sharp. “What are they for?”

45th over: England 125-1 (Burns 77, Denly 14) Rabada has an optimistic LBW appeal against Denly turned down by Paul Reiffel. Missing leg. Denly is then beaten by a delivery that keeps very low. There have been early signs of uneven bounce at Rabada’s end. South Africa will be pleased with the accuracy and intensity of their start - England have scored only four runs in four overs, and they came from an involuntary edge.

“My plan to recuperate with an Ally Pally hangover revolves around me staying on the sofa with cricket, football and darts for company,” says John Dalby. “Its success hinges on England batting through until tea. What are my chances?”

44th over: England 125-1 (Burns 77, Denly 14) Philander seams a beauty past Burns’ defensive push. He has started immaculately and remains the biggest threat to England. Burns, that play and miss aside, is leaving him well outside off stump, which is not easy against a relentless line bowler like Philander. Excellent stuff so far.

“Good morning, Rob,” says Ian Copestake. “If the TV cameras do seek out ‘the beautiful, the famous or the wacky’ (The Spirit of Cricket, Rob Smyth) they may stumble across the latter in the form of an actual friend of mine who it turns out is a member of the Barmy Army. He is at the ground and may well lead some singing, and if his girlfriend has brought her ukulele then she might get upgraded to famous.”

43rd over: England 125-1 (Burns 77, Denly 14) Kagiso Rabada starts at the other end to Denly, who gets a thick edge to third man for four. The previous delivery popped nastily outside off stump, a reminder that this pitch hasn’t completely gone to sleep. The next 37 overs, before the second new ball is available, are so important. I reckon England can afford to lose no more than two wickets in that time.

42nd over: England 121-1 (Burns 77, Denly 10) Philander doesn’t do looseners. His first ball is right on the money and defended by Burns, and his first over is a maiden.

“Good morning Rob from bright and frosty Piedmont,” says Finbar Anslow. “Last night the South Piedmontese Christmas film appreciation society watched It’s a Wonderful Life and I can confirm it’s still up there as one of the best festive feelgood movies; now if only England had a couple of George Baileys (and maybe a Clarence would be useful).”

It’s time for some cricket. Vernon Philander will open the bowling to Rory Burns.

“Good morning, Rob,” says Eva Maaten. “After attending to family obligations in Europe we made it back to SA in time for day four of this exciting Test - I’m very grateful to Burns for ensuring there is still some cricket to be played today. Overcast and cooler today; what do you think that means for the pitch and England’s chances? We seemed to have ended up in the middle of a touring group of England fans with some very enthusiastic looking SA supporters just across the aisle - this should be a fun day!”

The Sky Sports pundits all think the cool weather is good for England because it should delay the deterioration of the pitch. I still think South Africa are strong favourites, though I’m in a minority: most reckon it’s 60/40 in their favour. I’d make it 80/20.

Joe Root and Jos Buttler are at the ground and apparently feeling better. It’s on!

Pre-play reading

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Hello. The secret of eternal youth is not yoga, serums, goji berries or even a generous swig of Cognac every morning. It’s being an England cricket fan. You heard.

Never mind all that facial stuff: if you want to feel truly alive, and experience the kind of extreme emotions usually reserved for teens and twentysomethings, just support this team. Ecstasy, anxiety, mirth, bewilderment, rage: you get them all with England - often in the same match, sometimes in the same day.

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